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You don't have to act like everything is okay if it isn't. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/08/19(Tue)11:02:27 No.7496833 > Be me > Spent all free time with gf for years > Lost long term gf and subsequently best friend > Realize that I have no other friends > Leaving Uni class when 'cool' social circle says "sup anon" 19 KB JPG >I stop and make small talk > Don't want to f--- up > Ask how my winter break was, and how gf is. > Say that its not a thing anymore > trying-not-to-cry-in-public.jpg| > Group goes quiet > "Hey Anon we are going to the pub join us" > w-- really? "Sure" > All get drinks, ask me how l'm feeling, and lets me vent > Feelsgood.gif > All super understanding dudes, I had no idea >I can now laugh about the situation > They learn I'm a music guy > Some of them are great musicians too > We set up a metal band > 2019 is going to be a lot different. And I like it.
: Anonymous 01/08/19(Tue)11:02:27 No.7496833 > Be me > Spent all free time with gf for years > Lost long term gf and subsequently best friend > Realize that I have no other friends > Leaving Uni class when 'cool' social circle says "sup anon" 19 KB JPG >I stop and make small talk > Don't want to f--- up > Ask how my winter break was, and how gf is. > Say that its not a thing anymore > trying-not-to-cry-in-public.jpg| > Group goes quiet > "Hey Anon we are going to the pub join us" > w-- really? "Sure" > All get drinks, ask me how l'm feeling, and lets me vent > Feelsgood.gif > All super understanding dudes, I had no idea >I can now laugh about the situation > They learn I'm a music guy > Some of them are great musicians too > We set up a metal band > 2019 is going to be a lot different. And I like it.

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Autistic things that videogames Made you do | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/08/16(Thu)12:03:23 No.351121002 Autistic things that video games made you do >get job at warehouse >strapping trucks and securing stock loads >first day learning the ropes >get asked to go find a wrench 92 KB JPG >really bored >pretend I am in a video game >"find wrench, press E to pick up Wrench" >pick wrench up and hold it infront of me like an FPS >start running around pretending to be in FPS >looking up and down and around >supervisor and district recruiter see me >get called into office >asked to leave the site Safe to say I never got called back in
: Anonymous 09/08/16(Thu)12:03:23 No.351121002 Autistic things that video games made you do >get job at warehouse >strapping trucks and securing stock loads >first day learning the ropes >get asked to go find a wrench 92 KB JPG >really bored >pretend I am in a video game >"find wrench, press E to pick up Wrench" >pick wrench up and hold it infront of me like an FPS >start running around pretending to be in FPS >looking up and down and around >supervisor and district recruiter see me >get called into office >asked to leave the site Safe to say I never got called back in

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Anon is a mastermind | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/13/22(Thu)11:32:17 No.870570204 >be me >Romanian >Pirated 100+ games, including Indies since 2015 >Probably saved 2000$ doing that >Torrent all my movies, saved 100s of dollars doing so >Why do f--- waste money 21 KB JPG >/b/ please explain
: Anonymous 01/13/22(Thu)11:32:17 No.870570204 >be me >Romanian >Pirated 100+ games, including Indies since 2015 >Probably saved 2000$ doing that >Torrent all my movies, saved 100s of dollars doing so >Why do f--- waste money 21 KB JPG >/b/ please explain

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Anon needs bathroom advice | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 7 minutes ago 760428142 Ideas on how to s--- without making noise. Do you dislike people hearing you роop? Improvise! My idea is not to use the toilet seat and dip your ass in the water so you can stealthily s--- underwater. Anyone got better ideas? 4 REPLIES Anonymous 5 minutes ago 760428230 >760428142 (OP) Anyone wanna test this out? Anonymous 4 minutes ago 760428345 s--- in ur hands, then lower it into the bowl. rinse well. 1 REPLY Anonymous 1 minute ago 760428475 >>760428142 (OP) Put a bed of toilet paper on the water before s-------, that has the added bonus of no splashing. I do it every time. When you flush that s--- down, it is as if you were wrapping it up as a present to the s--- lords.
Anonymous 7 minutes ago 760428142 Ideas on how to s--- without making noise. Do you dislike people hearing you роop? Improvise! My idea is not to use the toilet seat and dip your ass in the water so you can stealthily s--- underwater. Anyone got better ideas? 4 REPLIES Anonymous 5 minutes ago 760428230 >760428142 (OP) Anyone wanna test this out? Anonymous 4 minutes ago 760428345 s--- in ur hands, then lower it into the bowl. rinse well. 1 REPLY Anonymous 1 minute ago 760428475 >>760428142 (OP) Put a bed of toilet paper on the water before s-------, that has the added bonus of no splashing. I do it every time. When you flush that s--- down, it is as if you were wrapping it up as a present to the s--- lords.

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Anon plays Silent Hill 3 | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 10/26/13(Sat)19:06 No.215457549 File: 1382828761196.jpg-(42 KB, 480x480, 1353212900339.jpg) >Playing Silent Hill 3 >at the end >dad walks in >"Hey son, what you playing?" >Heather regurgitates a fetus >the other girl picks it up and shoves in his mouth >"I WILL BIRTH THE GOD" >My dads face when >"Well have fun" >leaves room
O Anonymous 10/26/13(Sat)19:06 No.215457549 File: 1382828761196.jpg-(42 KB, 480x480, 1353212900339.jpg) >Playing Silent Hill 3 >at the end >dad walks in >"Hey son, what you playing?" >Heather regurgitates a fetus >the other girl picks it up and shoves in his mouth >"I WILL BIRTH THE GOD" >My dads face when >"Well have fun" >leaves room

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Anon is racist | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/25/22(Tue)10:47:27 No.871356437 I made a black person rage > Join a discord voice chat > black guy is being obnoxious > Ignore him for a while > He starts yelling > I tell him "you're the reason segregation happened" 109 KB JPG > He goes full monkey mode everyone (including the black guy) left the voice chat after that
: Anonymous 01/25/22(Tue)10:47:27 No.871356437 I made a black person rage > Join a discord voice chat > black guy is being obnoxious > Ignore him for a while > He starts yelling > I tell him "you're the reason segregation happened" 109 KB JPG > He goes full monkey mode everyone (including the black guy) left the voice chat after that

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Anon dont likes tips | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/25/22(Tue)12:52:37 No.871359757 gigachad.jpg 56 KB JPG >order food >priority delivery, so the driver has to drive directly to my house instead of delivering other people's food first >no tip added
: Anonymous 01/25/22(Tue)12:52:37 No.871359757 gigachad.jpg 56 KB JPG >order food >priority delivery, so the driver has to drive directly to my house instead of delivering other people's food first >no tip added

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Anon talks about reality of work in 21st century | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: k8yTnGbR ) [] 01/25/22(Tue)02:25:39 No.358046922 >>358046623 >Engineering Brutal schooling and 100-to-1 grad to job ratio >accounting Soul deadening and ruled by HR roasties >medicine Hahaha.. oh wait, you're serious? Let me laugh harder >nursing Physically dangerous and basically a glorified ass wiper >law Jews all the way down
Anonymous (ID: k8yTnGbR ) [] 01/25/22(Tue)02:25:39 No.358046922 >>358046623 >Engineering Brutal schooling and 100-to-1 grad to job ratio >accounting Soul deadening and ruled by HR roasties >medicine Hahaha.. oh wait, you're serious? Let me laugh harder >nursing Physically dangerous and basically a glorified ass wiper >law Jews all the way down

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Just anon and his dog | /r/Greentext

| Anonymous 02/13/19(Wed)13:55:42 No.792533342 >be me >be loser who drives a delivery van all day >work is f------ boring as f--- >get new puppy >puppy is sad when I go to work >have idea 31 KB PNG >I will take puppy to work with me >Next day put puppy in van >Puppy sits shotgun all day, does not piss or poop in cab >Take puppy to park during lunch break >Puppy waits patiently while I make deliveries >Drive home >Realize work was fun with my little puppy buddy >Have never had this much enjoyment of work >Thank you puppy
| Anonymous 02/13/19(Wed)13:55:42 No.792533342 >be me >be loser who drives a delivery van all day >work is f------ boring as f--- >get new puppy >puppy is sad when I go to work >have idea 31 KB PNG >I will take puppy to work with me >Next day put puppy in van >Puppy sits shotgun all day, does not piss or poop in cab >Take puppy to park during lunch break >Puppy waits patiently while I make deliveries >Drive home >Realize work was fun with my little puppy buddy >Have never had this much enjoyment of work >Thank you puppy

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You can't come home again | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Coooooo00om 03/23/21(Tue)08:07:07 No.62876647 > be me, 23 > f------ this older girl, she's around 30 > getbusycoomingorgetbusydying > suddenly she grabs my face and leans close 23 KB JPG > wispers 'come for mommy baby boy' > sit there frozen in complete shock > j--- the biggest load of my life Guys I am no longer attracted to girls my age, this bitch has given me a mommy fetish and ruined my life
: Anonymous Coooooo00om 03/23/21(Tue)08:07:07 No.62876647 > be me, 23 > f------ this older girl, she's around 30 > getbusycoomingorgetbusydying > suddenly she grabs my face and leans close 23 KB JPG > wispers 'come for mommy baby boy' > sit there frozen in complete shock > j--- the biggest load of my life Guys I am no longer attracted to girls my age, this bitch has given me a mommy fetish and ruined my life

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Anon watches a movie | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/27/20(Mon)00:17:07 No.132843276 03BFC167-6DBE-43ED-A53E-F7614ECDD2BA.jpg 24 KB JPG >"Rey..Rey Skywalker" Absolute garbage. I left the theater after I heard it : Anonymous 04/27/20(Mon)00:18:02 No.132843321 >>132843276 (OP) # Ye no s--- that's when the movie ended >>132843340 # >>132843556 # >>132844401 #
: Anonymous 04/27/20(Mon)00:17:07 No.132843276 03BFC167-6DBE-43ED-A53E-F7614ECDD2BA.jpg 24 KB JPG >"Rey..Rey Skywalker" Absolute garbage. I left the theater after I heard it : Anonymous 04/27/20(Mon)00:18:02 No.132843321 >>132843276 (OP) # Ye no s--- that's when the movie ended >>132843340 # >>132843556 # >>132844401 #

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Ancient anons got caught lacking | /r/Greentext

The skeletal remains of the Lovers of Modena. Researchers have determined both figures are male Image 1642783002272.jpg 198 KB JPG >>871234298 # Anonymous01/23/22(Sun)11:16:48 No.871234298 1232851 >>871232790 # >bruh I think we're gonna die >I'm scared too bro >let's hold each other in our final moments >see ya on the otherside bro Humans 3000 years later >n---- that's gay 1232855
The skeletal remains of the Lovers of Modena. Researchers have determined both figures are male Image 1642783002272.jpg 198 KB JPG >>871234298 # Anonymous01/23/22(Sun)11:16:48 No.871234298 1232851 >>871232790 # >bruh I think we're gonna die >I'm scared too bro >let's hold each other in our final moments >see ya on the otherside bro Humans 3000 years later >n---- that's gay 1232855

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Anon knows his nutrients | /r/Greentext

File: mcchicken.jpg (7 KB, 301x167) Anonymous 11/17/18(Sat)08:23:11 No.49328430 A McChicken has all the foodgroups Grain - Buns Vegetables - Lettuce Proteins - Chickens Fruit - Mayonnaise Dairy - Mayonnaise >> Anonymous 11/17/18(Sat)08:24:14 No.49328445 >> Anonymous 11/17/18(Sat)08:24:40 No.49328450 File: 1520495793042.jpg (13 KB, 384x384) >>49328430 (OP) >Fruit - Mayonnaise
File: mcchicken.jpg (7 KB, 301x167) Anonymous 11/17/18(Sat)08:23:11 No.49328430 A McChicken has all the foodgroups Grain - Buns Vegetables - Lettuce Proteins - Chickens Fruit - Mayonnaise Dairy - Mayonnaise >> Anonymous 11/17/18(Sat)08:24:14 No.49328445 >> Anonymous 11/17/18(Sat)08:24:40 No.49328450 File: 1520495793042.jpg (13 KB, 384x384) >>49328430 (OP) >Fruit - Mayonnaise

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White, uh, White finds a way | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/25/22(Tue)12:14:49 No.162847860 Tweet B Blabbar.com • Social @GryKngBlakState I am A Patrick Mahomes fan.. however.. It ONLY TOOK 3 GENERATIONS to commit genetic genocide against his Black American roots.. 3 GENERATIONS !! !! !! This is the cost of continued Integration, under the "melting pot" of white Americanism... 3 GENERATIONS @CHIEFSMMZ 17 Tuins 10:47 PM - Nov 28, 2021 - Twitter Web App 168 Retweets 164 Quote Tweets 686 Likes White, uh, White finds a way.png 922 KB PNG >by the 3rd iteration in the franchise, the movie deviated so far from it's roots it became unrecognizable. Sharing no resemblance with the original
: Anonymous 01/25/22(Tue)12:14:49 No.162847860 Tweet B Blabbar.com • Social @GryKngBlakState I am A Patrick Mahomes fan.. however.. It ONLY TOOK 3 GENERATIONS to commit genetic genocide against his Black American roots.. 3 GENERATIONS !! !! !! This is the cost of continued Integration, under the "melting pot" of white Americanism... 3 GENERATIONS @CHIEFSMMZ 17 Tuins 10:47 PM - Nov 28, 2021 - Twitter Web App 168 Retweets 164 Quote Tweets 686 Likes White, uh, White finds a way.png 922 KB PNG >by the 3rd iteration in the franchise, the movie deviated so far from it's roots it became unrecognizable. Sharing no resemblance with the original

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Anon is Russian | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/25/22(Tue)10:49:41 No.871356507 IT'S MORNING IN RUSSIA > GET OUT OF BED > SUCK PUTIN C--- FOR BREAKFAST > DEFEND PUTIN ACTIONS ONLINE > SUCK SOME MORE PUTIN C--- > DINNER TIME, SUCK OFF PUTIN > GOOD NIGHT PUTIN BEST LEADER
: Anonymous 01/25/22(Tue)10:49:41 No.871356507 IT'S MORNING IN RUSSIA > GET OUT OF BED > SUCK PUTIN C--- FOR BREAKFAST > DEFEND PUTIN ACTIONS ONLINE > SUCK SOME MORE PUTIN C--- > DINNER TIME, SUCK OFF PUTIN > GOOD NIGHT PUTIN BEST LEADER

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Anon gets high | /r/Greentext

>>35574459 # reminds me >get wisdom teeth removed >go home high as s--- >get on the computer >go to youtube >really want to listen to Led Zeppelin (I don't even listen to them regularly) >keep typing in Led Zeppelin but nothing Led Zeppelin-related is coming up >get mad >go to bed >sleep for like 12 hours. >wake up >go to delete my browsing history like I usually do >"loop zoop" searched on youtube -25 times >l thought I was typing in "Led Zeppelin"
>>35574459 # reminds me >get wisdom teeth removed >go home high as s--- >get on the computer >go to youtube >really want to listen to Led Zeppelin (I don't even listen to them regularly) >keep typing in Led Zeppelin but nothing Led Zeppelin-related is coming up >get mad >go to bed >sleep for like 12 hours. >wake up >go to delete my browsing history like I usually do >"loop zoop" searched on youtube -25 times >l thought I was typing in "Led Zeppelin"

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Anon donates blood | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/03/18(Fri)13:44:13 No.47258475 >be me >donate blood >get message week later >"Your blood has been put to use" >Track down the guy on Facebook >Message him >Really cool guy actually 259 KB JPG >Weeks later >Meet his new GF >"Dude I'm gonna get to third base tonight" >Bitch, that's my blood in your d--- >l'm the one getting to third base, not him >Technically f--- his girl See you later virgins Anonymous 02/28/18(Wed)19:54:42 No.761398814 - >>7Er >be me >have low blood count >go to hospital for blood transfusion >0_negativebloodmyguy.fortnite >get 2 units of blood >released next day >spend night with qt gt >have mind blowing consensual sex Srealize my d--- was full of someone elses blood >mtw someone else basically f----- my gf >mtw I cucked myself
Anonymous 08/03/18(Fri)13:44:13 No.47258475 >be me >donate blood >get message week later >"Your blood has been put to use" >Track down the guy on Facebook >Message him >Really cool guy actually 259 KB JPG >Weeks later >Meet his new GF >"Dude I'm gonna get to third base tonight" >Bitch, that's my blood in your d--- >l'm the one getting to third base, not him >Technically f--- his girl See you later virgins Anonymous 02/28/18(Wed)19:54:42 No.761398814 - >>7Er >be me >have low blood count >go to hospital for blood transfusion >0_negativebloodmyguy.fortnite >get 2 units of blood >released next day >spend night with qt gt >have mind blowing consensual sex Srealize my d--- was full of someone elses blood >mtw someone else basically f----- my gf >mtw I cucked myself

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Anon miscalculates | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/08/21(Wed)12:20:56 No.65304187 >Past four years been "saving" all my vacation days >Plan was to eventually have enough vacation days that | could live off a full paycheck workless for an extended period >Just found out that vacation 92 KB PNG days do not stack, and I keep none of the days I didn't use at the end of each year F--- life
: Anonymous 09/08/21(Wed)12:20:56 No.65304187 >Past four years been "saving" all my vacation days >Plan was to eventually have enough vacation days that | could live off a full paycheck workless for an extended period >Just found out that vacation 92 KB PNG days do not stack, and I keep none of the days I didn't use at the end of each year F--- life

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Anon is going hunting. | /r/Greentext

IAnonymous 01/12/22(Wed)06:46 21 No.162192854 22162192935 22162197280 >162197397 >162200004 File: Buddy Lilley.png (1.35 MB, 1036x525) >be Vietnam vet >sell all your s--- back home to go fight communists in Rhodesia >pack a modified duffel bag with assault rifle, handgun, ammo and gear from 'Nam >bring said combat loadout on a commercial flight >customs in South Africa notice the weight >tell them it's tools >customs guy just smiles understandingly >shakes your hand and wishes you good luck Yeah, it's never going to be this good again
IAnonymous 01/12/22(Wed)06:46 21 No.162192854 22162192935 22162197280 >162197397 >162200004 File: Buddy Lilley.png (1.35 MB, 1036x525) >be Vietnam vet >sell all your s--- back home to go fight communists in Rhodesia >pack a modified duffel bag with assault rifle, handgun, ammo and gear from 'Nam >bring said combat loadout on a commercial flight >customs in South Africa notice the weight >tell them it's tools >customs guy just smiles understandingly >shakes your hand and wishes you good luck Yeah, it's never going to be this good again

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Anon is a monster | /r/Greentext

>be me >having 18th birthday at home >pretty chill time with friends >brother asks if me I want to see his Minecraft world >tell him to go away >see he's hurt >feel guilty and say l'll check it out later >never check it >a few months later, brother gets leukemia >pray he gets better >he doesn't >brother dies >feels like s--- >tum 21 >packing stuff up for college >notice brother's old laptop >for some reason, remembers broken promise >charge up computer >boot up Minecraft >see world named "HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANONI!!!" >load up >beginning to tear up at this point >world loads >look around and see cake everywhere >giant pixel cake in front of me >balloons across the sky >tum around and see "HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY" built with blocks >under b-day message is a sign >sign says "happy birthday anon. You're the best brother ever. :DDD" >f------ cry for hours world
>be me >having 18th birthday at home >pretty chill time with friends >brother asks if me I want to see his Minecraft world >tell him to go away >see he's hurt >feel guilty and say l'll check it out later >never check it >a few months later, brother gets leukemia >pray he gets better >he doesn't >brother dies >feels like s--- >tum 21 >packing stuff up for college >notice brother's old laptop >for some reason, remembers broken promise >charge up computer >boot up Minecraft >see world named "HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANONI!!!" >load up >beginning to tear up at this point >world loads >look around and see cake everywhere >giant pixel cake in front of me >balloons across the sky >tum around and see "HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY" built with blocks >under b-day message is a sign >sign says "happy birthday anon. You're the best brother ever. :DDD" >f------ cry for hours world

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