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Anon is in WW3 | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 01/24/22(Mon)09:56:55 No.67129062 >be American in 2024 >drafted into the Third World War >deployed to the Ukraine/Russia border >on patrol, looking for any Russians >suddenly we see someone coming >its a Russian kid flying through the air >f----- has hacks >we fire at him >he starts spinning, all of our shots miss >this lil bitch has a spin bot too >he shoots at us >every single shot hits us in the head, killing us >F------ Russians
O Anonymous 01/24/22(Mon)09:56:55 No.67129062 >be American in 2024 >drafted into the Third World War >deployed to the Ukraine/Russia border >on patrol, looking for any Russians >suddenly we see someone coming >its a Russian kid flying through the air >f----- has hacks >we fire at him >he starts spinning, all of our shots miss >this lil bitch has a spin bot too >he shoots at us >every single shot hits us in the head, killing us >F------ Russians

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Anon knows it’s time to end it | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/24/22(Mon)21:15:19 No.871336633 >me and gf were laying in bed naked >she moved her foot over and put it on my d--- >not a foot guy but let her continue >her foot was so soft, it felt 30 KB PNG amazing >rubs my d--- wit her foot until I finish >fast forward 3 months >everytime I see an attractive woman's feet I think back to that moment >start getting aroused by feet >l am scum >I know what I must do >goodbye guys
: Anonymous 01/24/22(Mon)21:15:19 No.871336633 >me and gf were laying in bed naked >she moved her foot over and put it on my d--- >not a foot guy but let her continue >her foot was so soft, it felt 30 KB PNG amazing >rubs my d--- wit her foot until I finish >fast forward 3 months >everytime I see an attractive woman's feet I think back to that moment >start getting aroused by feet >l am scum >I know what I must do >goodbye guys

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Anon thinks about Peter Griffin | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/24/22(Mon)15:13:41 No.871300776 Why is Peter Griffin fat? >Seems like a cheap joke to make the character more funny. There's no reason he should be fat >He's only ever seen eating dinner with his family or lunch where his portions are just normal >He often performs incredible 7 KB JPG feats of athletism that no fat guy could do >He's capable of sustaining massive fights with the chicken man displaying high levels of strength and stamina >He drinks but at the same level as Quagmire and Joe who aren't fat. Quagmire's slim and Joe's muscular while not walking >It's not like Homer Simpson who we frequently see have acts of gluttony and laziness >F--- Family Guy is retarded
: Anonymous 01/24/22(Mon)15:13:41 No.871300776 Why is Peter Griffin fat? >Seems like a cheap joke to make the character more funny. There's no reason he should be fat >He's only ever seen eating dinner with his family or lunch where his portions are just normal >He often performs incredible 7 KB JPG feats of athletism that no fat guy could do >He's capable of sustaining massive fights with the chicken man displaying high levels of strength and stamina >He drinks but at the same level as Quagmire and Joe who aren't fat. Quagmire's slim and Joe's muscular while not walking >It's not like Homer Simpson who we frequently see have acts of gluttony and laziness >F--- Family Guy is retarded

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Found this while deleting old files | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: jPxH3um 06/28/20(Sun)18:18:00 No.265371628 my entire lifes goal is to have huge female asses on my face every decision I have made since I was 14 has been based around having large female ass on my face >>265371784 # >>265372367 #
: Anonymous (ID: jPxH3um 06/28/20(Sun)18:18:00 No.265371628 my entire lifes goal is to have huge female asses on my face every decision I have made since I was 14 has been based around having large female ass on my face >>265371784 # >>265372367 #

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Anon makes a clay bear | /r/Greentext

File: nocobear.gif (622 KB, 650x650) Anonymous 01/24/22(Mon)06:43:54 No.67127061 [Reply] check out this little guy i made Anonymous 01/24/22(Mon)06:45:49 No.67127073 >>67127061 (OP)# anon that's really cute I'm proud of you for making that! I'll save this gif forever Anonymous 01/24/22(Mon)06:46:50 No.67127082 File: nocobearr.jpg (972 KB, 2016x1512) >>67127061 (OP) # >>67127073 # lol thank u he also has a backpack now
File: nocobear.gif (622 KB, 650x650) Anonymous 01/24/22(Mon)06:43:54 No.67127061 [Reply] check out this little guy i made Anonymous 01/24/22(Mon)06:45:49 No.67127073 >>67127061 (OP)# anon that's really cute I'm proud of you for making that! I'll save this gif forever Anonymous 01/24/22(Mon)06:46:50 No.67127082 File: nocobearr.jpg (972 KB, 2016x1512) >>67127061 (OP) # >>67127073 # lol thank u he also has a backpack now

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Anon doesn’t like squid game | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/24/22(Mon)21:46:55 No.871317429 >be me >sitting next to Igbt kids at lunch >we're talkin jokin around >kid in front of me falls on the ground and pretends to die >other kid says "what happened?" >"SQUID GAMES!!" 78 KB JPG >everyone laughs except for me >c'mon anon, you had to laugh, it's from memes! >mfw am i retarded? or is this s--- just getting old
: Anonymous 01/24/22(Mon)21:46:55 No.871317429 >be me >sitting next to Igbt kids at lunch >we're talkin jokin around >kid in front of me falls on the ground and pretends to die >other kid says "what happened?" >"SQUID GAMES!!" 78 KB JPG >everyone laughs except for me >c'mon anon, you had to laugh, it's from memes! >mfw am i retarded? or is this s--- just getting old

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Anon meets a psych ward escapee | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/25/22(Tue)01:18:47 No.67134420 Story from today >Go to use restroom >Pick the urinal on the far left as it's the closest (there are 3 for context) >Soon after another guy comes, takes the far right urinal >Randomly a third guy comes in 27 KB JPG and exclaims "Ayooo, it's peepee time" >He approaches middle stall and says "mind if I squeeeeze in here?" Before doing so regardless >"How are we doing today, fellas?" >Start to awkwardly laugh, finish pissing and and got to wash my hands >He follows me, watches me wash my hands, then proceeds to not wash his and leave Did I meet a sigma male?
: Anonymous 01/25/22(Tue)01:18:47 No.67134420 Story from today >Go to use restroom >Pick the urinal on the far left as it's the closest (there are 3 for context) >Soon after another guy comes, takes the far right urinal >Randomly a third guy comes in 27 KB JPG and exclaims "Ayooo, it's peepee time" >He approaches middle stall and says "mind if I squeeeeze in here?" Before doing so regardless >"How are we doing today, fellas?" >Start to awkwardly laugh, finish pissing and and got to wash my hands >He follows me, watches me wash my hands, then proceeds to not wash his and leave Did I meet a sigma male?

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Quality Content | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/23/22(Sun)16:33:57 No.67119842 schlop.jpg 51 KB JPG SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP
: Anonymous 01/23/22(Sun)16:33:57 No.67119842 schlop.jpg 51 KB JPG SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP

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Breaking ass | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/24/22(Mon)19:51:03 No.67129581 5032tt.png 700 KB PNG >try to make friends with women in elementary school >they always disliked me >start hating women >hate women so much i don't want to even be attracted to them >start jerking off to p--- with men >now im gay you're gay because you like men, im gay because i hate women. we are not the same.
: Anonymous 01/24/22(Mon)19:51:03 No.67129581 5032tt.png 700 KB PNG >try to make friends with women in elementary school >they always disliked me >start hating women >hate women so much i don't want to even be attracted to them >start jerking off to p--- with men >now im gay you're gay because you like men, im gay because i hate women. we are not the same.

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anon just wanted to discuss vidya | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/24/22(Mon)12:55:47 No.871293244 >join discord vidya server >want to talk about vidya, have a few questions about the vidya that i could use an experienced opinion on >blast through the long ass list of rules and go straight to general, there's like half a dozen people having an argument about birth control 1.19 MB GIF >come back in a couple hours, they're still arguing over some other dumb political s---. half of the users have t----- flags behind their avatar >try to start a conversation about vidya >ignored >i get fed up and leave what's the purpose of this app again? i just wanted to discuss vidya stats.
: Anonymous 01/24/22(Mon)12:55:47 No.871293244 >join discord vidya server >want to talk about vidya, have a few questions about the vidya that i could use an experienced opinion on >blast through the long ass list of rules and go straight to general, there's like half a dozen people having an argument about birth control 1.19 MB GIF >come back in a couple hours, they're still arguing over some other dumb political s---. half of the users have t----- flags behind their avatar >try to start a conversation about vidya >ignored >i get fed up and leave what's the purpose of this app again? i just wanted to discuss vidya stats.

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Another anon leaves us | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/18/18(Sun)17:34:48 No.785192776 >Urge to j------- >Grab Vaseline >Beat my meat with the fury of a thousand sons >Nut >Mfw Vaseline is made with 36 KB JPG petroleum >Mfw petroleum is dead dinosaur juice >Mfw female dead dinosaur in petroleum >Mfw basically had sex with female dinosaur See ya later virgins
: Anonymous 11/18/18(Sun)17:34:48 No.785192776 >Urge to j------- >Grab Vaseline >Beat my meat with the fury of a thousand sons >Nut >Mfw Vaseline is made with 36 KB JPG petroleum >Mfw petroleum is dead dinosaur juice >Mfw female dead dinosaur in petroleum >Mfw basically had sex with female dinosaur See ya later virgins

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Anon is Brazilian | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: +kjCKehh 10/01/15(Thu)14:33:21 No.52856597 >Live in Brazil >there are no schools >there are no movie theaters >there are no malls >still get shot 39 KB JPG >>52856936 # >>52857008 # >>52857059 # >>52857158 #
: Anonymous (ID: +kjCKehh 10/01/15(Thu)14:33:21 No.52856597 >Live in Brazil >there are no schools >there are no movie theaters >there are no malls >still get shot 39 KB JPG >>52856936 # >>52857008 # >>52857059 # >>52857158 #

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Anon likes cows | /r/Greentext


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Anon is wacky | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11 minutes ago 804953330 I----- greentext stories Anonymous 2 minutes ago 804953734 >be 13 >be in my room >twin brother zack comes up >grabs my d--- >tells me hes got a wacky plan >jacks me off >mom comes in freaks out on me >mom: "CODY WHAT ARE YOU DOING" >i tell mom not to be mad at zack >tell her zack is just making me feel good >mom starts crying >mom: "ZACK DIED 4 YEARS AGO THERE IS NO ZACK" >look down and its my hand d--- on my d--- >mfw zack got me again with another wacky prank! >live in schizophrenia treatment center >sneak to receptionists computer to tell this story.
Anonymous 11 minutes ago 804953330 I----- greentext stories Anonymous 2 minutes ago 804953734 >be 13 >be in my room >twin brother zack comes up >grabs my d--- >tells me hes got a wacky plan >jacks me off >mom comes in freaks out on me >mom: "CODY WHAT ARE YOU DOING" >i tell mom not to be mad at zack >tell her zack is just making me feel good >mom starts crying >mom: "ZACK DIED 4 YEARS AGO THERE IS NO ZACK" >look down and its my hand d--- on my d--- >mfw zack got me again with another wacky prank! >live in schizophrenia treatment center >sneak to receptionists computer to tell this story.

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Anon is looking for a hiding place | /r/Greentext


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Anon stops his bully | /r/Greentext

Autism thread? I'll start >be me >see post about guy falcon punching his bully >mario is my favorite 18 KB JPG character in smash >hatch master plan >next day at school >bully comes up to me >"hey fatass! Give me your money" >pull hand sanitizer out if pocket >pull lighter out of other >put sanitizer on hand and light it >yell "ITS A ME, MARIO!" >punch him with the force of a thousand suns >his face gets lit on fire >we both ended up in the hospital with third degree burns Worth it
Autism thread? I'll start >be me >see post about guy falcon punching his bully >mario is my favorite 18 KB JPG character in smash >hatch master plan >next day at school >bully comes up to me >"hey fatass! Give me your money" >pull hand sanitizer out if pocket >pull lighter out of other >put sanitizer on hand and light it >yell "ITS A ME, MARIO!" >punch him with the force of a thousand suns >his face gets lit on fire >we both ended up in the hospital with third degree burns Worth it

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Irish things | /r/Greentext


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Call Me Michelle Phelps | /r/Greentext

>Be me, on my university men's swim team. Pretty good, not great >ldea! I'll "transition to female." 99 >Take some hormones, grow out my hair, change my name, and invent a story about my gender identity. Definitely don't chop my balls off 21 KB PNG >Join university's women's swim team >Break every women's collegiate record >Now I am a great swimmer. >lf you don't like it, you are transphobic >You will get cancelled >Go to the Olympics, win many women's gold medals in swimming >Go home, stop taking hormones, cut my hair. I am a man again. >I still have my records and Olympic gold medals >Plus, I got to shower with the girl's team. TuckTheBoner.exe >If you don't like it, you're transphobic and will be cancelled
>Be me, on my university men's swim team. Pretty good, not great >ldea! I'll "transition to female." 99 >Take some hormones, grow out my hair, change my name, and invent a story about my gender identity. Definitely don't chop my balls off 21 KB PNG >Join university's women's swim team >Break every women's collegiate record >Now I am a great swimmer. >lf you don't like it, you are transphobic >You will get cancelled >Go to the Olympics, win many women's gold medals in swimming >Go home, stop taking hormones, cut my hair. I am a man again. >I still have my records and Olympic gold medals >Plus, I got to shower with the girl's team. TuckTheBoner.exe >If you don't like it, you're transphobic and will be cancelled

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Anon has anon professor | /r/Greentext


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Steve Harvey | /r/Greentext

family feud time bois Anonymous 07/30/19(Tue)20:52:26 No.118860471 >>118860921 >Steve Harvey: "We asked 100 people, what is the male reproductive organ?" >Contestant: "The penis" >SH: "A WUH... HUH??" >audience erupts into laughter >Steve Harvey grabs onto podium to support himself >laughter gets even louder >SH: "O lordy..." >one man goes into cardiac arrest and many others begin vomiting profusely from laughing too hard >SH: "YOU PEOPLE NEED HELP" >the Earth shatters and Satan rises from the underworld to claim unworthy souls >the universe begins rapidly closing in on itself >SH: (putting on a weary voice) "Survey says.." >the board shows 100 for "penis" >Harvey is able to get off one more shocked look before existence as we know it comes to an end
family feud time bois Anonymous 07/30/19(Tue)20:52:26 No.118860471 >>118860921 >Steve Harvey: "We asked 100 people, what is the male reproductive organ?" >Contestant: "The penis" >SH: "A WUH... HUH??" >audience erupts into laughter >Steve Harvey grabs onto podium to support himself >laughter gets even louder >SH: "O lordy..." >one man goes into cardiac arrest and many others begin vomiting profusely from laughing too hard >SH: "YOU PEOPLE NEED HELP" >the Earth shatters and Satan rises from the underworld to claim unworthy souls >the universe begins rapidly closing in on itself >SH: (putting on a weary voice) "Survey says.." >the board shows 100 for "penis" >Harvey is able to get off one more shocked look before existence as we know it comes to an end

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