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Anon lost something that was worth nothing, but meant a lot to him. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/23/22(Sun)11:07:19 No.871236751 C7dT5q0X4AAeajJ.jpg 65 KB JPG >be me yesterday >Reddit account is 2 years old, 300000 karma >Hundreds of high quality memes, interesting discussions, game dev posts, etc >post ONE shitpost making fun of trannies >account permanently banned Rest In Peace, old reddit account. I loved you.
: Anonymous 01/23/22(Sun)11:07:19 No.871236751 C7dT5q0X4AAeajJ.jpg 65 KB JPG >be me yesterday >Reddit account is 2 years old, 300000 karma >Hundreds of high quality memes, interesting discussions, game dev posts, etc >post ONE shitpost making fun of trannies >account permanently banned Rest In Peace, old reddit account. I loved you.

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Anon exploring | /r/Greentext

1h (1/24 18:37) · 871307485 6 Re · 0 Img · PNG · 467KB · (621 × 703) 2 Replies OPEN Gerber Gerber Baby's first heart attack BLE Ghost Peppers nd 2Foods NET WT/PESO NETO 4 OZ (113g) >be me >10 yo F----- >in bath splashing around slightly rub a------ with finger >feels good.gif >rubbing not enough start trying to make m way inside >hear a pop sound and my finger won't move >fingerstuckinass >freak out start screaming >mom runs in and sees me hunched over with a finger in my ass >bitch starts laughing >I'm crying and screaming at this point >get mad and want to leave on my own now >push real hard >finger slips out >so does a ton of s--- >sight makes me almost puke >dad walks in due to commotion >looks at me with disappointment and leaves >can no longer take baths >can no longer touch a------ Why couldn't I have just had a normal gay awakening TEAR HERE
1h (1/24 18:37) · 871307485 6 Re · 0 Img · PNG · 467KB · (621 × 703) 2 Replies OPEN Gerber Gerber Baby's first heart attack BLE Ghost Peppers nd 2Foods NET WT/PESO NETO 4 OZ (113g) >be me >10 yo F----- >in bath splashing around slightly rub a------ with finger >feels good.gif >rubbing not enough start trying to make m way inside >hear a pop sound and my finger won't move >fingerstuckinass >freak out start screaming >mom runs in and sees me hunched over with a finger in my ass >bitch starts laughing >I'm crying and screaming at this point >get mad and want to leave on my own now >push real hard >finger slips out >so does a ton of s--- >sight makes me almost puke >dad walks in due to commotion >looks at me with disappointment and leaves >can no longer take baths >can no longer touch a------ Why couldn't I have just had a normal gay awakening TEAR HERE

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Anon goes to the gym | /r/Greentext

>be working out at midnight at my 24 hour local no name gym >two mexican guys show up maybe 10 minutes apart >both are new years guys >first guy (we'll call him Jose) is skinny fat 103 KB JPG goblin with terrible posture, fully leaned forward >2nd guy (call him JosB) is fat ass mouthbreather >Jose jogs for 10 minutes then goes to do lat pull >f------ says "set a timer for one minute" to his watch OUTLOUD after every set >most monotone dead voice ive ever heard >that is a broken man >JosB goes straight to the smith machine and pulls a bench over to do bench press >puts a ten and a five on each side >slams out like 5 reps with terrible form and then pulls out his phone and scrolls for like 10 minutes >Jose finishes his pulldowns, straightens up his posture and keeps stretching out his shoulders >Jose then does a bunch of other upper back workouts (high row, shoulder press, shrugs) >JosB still doing fake bench press at the smith machine >Jose basically finishes his workout drenched and f------ trembling. >he pushes to failure a few times and literally looks like hes about to cry >He walks over to the treadmill f------ SHAKING and then SPRINTS for 5 minutes >im talking like a goddamn cheetah >he slams the stop button at the end of it huffing and puffing >looks like hes about to puke >JosB still at the smith machine >im pretty sure hes taking selfies >its been 50 minutes >Jose leaves after sitting in his car for like 20 minutes rubbing his shoulders I hope Jose makes it. He looked really depressed and focused. Also f--- them both though I literally couldn't focus on my workout watching these two f------ retards >>65264707 # >>65266199 # >>65266312 # >>65268870 # >>65268884 #
>be working out at midnight at my 24 hour local no name gym >two mexican guys show up maybe 10 minutes apart >both are new years guys >first guy (we'll call him Jose) is skinny fat 103 KB JPG goblin with terrible posture, fully leaned forward >2nd guy (call him JosB) is fat ass mouthbreather >Jose jogs for 10 minutes then goes to do lat pull >f------ says "set a timer for one minute" to his watch OUTLOUD after every set >most monotone dead voice ive ever heard >that is a broken man >JosB goes straight to the smith machine and pulls a bench over to do bench press >puts a ten and a five on each side >slams out like 5 reps with terrible form and then pulls out his phone and scrolls for like 10 minutes >Jose finishes his pulldowns, straightens up his posture and keeps stretching out his shoulders >Jose then does a bunch of other upper back workouts (high row, shoulder press, shrugs) >JosB still doing fake bench press at the smith machine >Jose basically finishes his workout drenched and f------ trembling. >he pushes to failure a few times and literally looks like hes about to cry >He walks over to the treadmill f------ SHAKING and then SPRINTS for 5 minutes >im talking like a goddamn cheetah >he slams the stop button at the end of it huffing and puffing >looks like hes about to puke >JosB still at the smith machine >im pretty sure hes taking selfies >its been 50 minutes >Jose leaves after sitting in his car for like 20 minutes rubbing his shoulders I hope Jose makes it. He looked really depressed and focused. Also f--- them both though I literally couldn't focus on my workout watching these two f------ retards >>65264707 # >>65266199 # >>65266312 # >>65268870 # >>65268884 #

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Anon is the n word | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/23/18(Sun)22:09:24 No.780634355 > be me; white kid > live in stralya; status quo > make sure ground-harness is strapped on tight > go for walk > niceweather.png > walking down this narrow path > black guy was jogging behind me, so i move to the side 15 KB JPG to let him pass > without even slowing down or looking at me, he goes, "much obliged my n----" and keeps jogging > mfw a black guy called me their n----
: Anonymous 09/23/18(Sun)22:09:24 No.780634355 > be me; white kid > live in stralya; status quo > make sure ground-harness is strapped on tight > go for walk > niceweather.png > walking down this narrow path > black guy was jogging behind me, so i move to the side 15 KB JPG to let him pass > without even slowing down or looking at me, he goes, "much obliged my n----" and keeps jogging > mfw a black guy called me their n----

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Talk with granddad | /r/Greentext

ITT:Talk with granddad 11/02/18(Fri)11:31:07 No.49050868 >be me >western europe f-- >granddad only comes to visit once a month >"Anon! I missed you!" etc >starts talking about how great life was in the communist era 6 KB JPG >oh no >Ben Shapiro bursts through the window with a 12mm shotgun (pic related) >shoots him 5 times >another libtard pwnd >goddamn it
ITT:Talk with granddad 11/02/18(Fri)11:31:07 No.49050868 >be me >western europe f-- >granddad only comes to visit once a month >"Anon! I missed you!" etc >starts talking about how great life was in the communist era 6 KB JPG >oh no >Ben Shapiro bursts through the window with a 12mm shotgun (pic related) >shoots him 5 times >another libtard pwnd >goddamn it

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Backstory of a serial killer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I HATE women 01/24/22(Mon)08:36:22 No.67128365 4 years ago my dad (DNA) tested me and my sister because he found out mom cheated on him. My dad was the most loving and perfect, i was his favorite, he always praised me and called me his pride. I was happy and i had a nice life. SAVE 101 KB PNG When the results came over it said that neither me or my sister were his biological kids. He left our home shortly after and i stopped seeing him for years. past september he came over to talk to my mom about legal issues he wants me and my sister to stop using his lastname, he even called me a "bastard" and "the son a w----" my loving dad told me those words because of what my mom did. She only laughed like a psyco. I f------ HATE women, yeah call me an incel f--- you, i hate women, i dont care about your opinion, my hatred is eternal. Women are monsters, f--- your feminism, stupid holes arent human
: Anonymous I HATE women 01/24/22(Mon)08:36:22 No.67128365 4 years ago my dad (DNA) tested me and my sister because he found out mom cheated on him. My dad was the most loving and perfect, i was his favorite, he always praised me and called me his pride. I was happy and i had a nice life. SAVE 101 KB PNG When the results came over it said that neither me or my sister were his biological kids. He left our home shortly after and i stopped seeing him for years. past september he came over to talk to my mom about legal issues he wants me and my sister to stop using his lastname, he even called me a "bastard" and "the son a w----" my loving dad told me those words because of what my mom did. She only laughed like a psyco. I f------ HATE women, yeah call me an incel f--- you, i hate women, i dont care about your opinion, my hatred is eternal. Women are monsters, f--- your feminism, stupid holes arent human

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Anon’s friend is in a relationship. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/24/22(Mon)19:36:50 No.67135498 >be me >6 years ago 18 year old anon >best friend on Xbox gets a new girlfriend >s---- fine for a while >one day I tell my buddy to shut up he's poor (he's not he actually has more money than me but we're f------ around) 4 KB PNG >his gf hears this and goes on a f------ rampage >blows up phone, kik, messenger, snap, everything and telling me how I'm a terrible friend etc >she starts sending me info about my home town school etc. to try and f--- with with me >all s--- she can get from Facebook not even that hard to do >tell her to finally just knock it the f--- off and stop being a c---. Also told her that's how me and my buddy just joke around >fast forward to now >have big boy job and money to go on vacation >buddy and I joke about me going out to his place >only reason I don't is because he's still with her and she's still a f------ psycho like we'll be playing Xbox and she has one too and she'll join the party and just start acting like a bitch to me for no reason. I still have 0 idea what her f------ problem is after all these years. 9 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 01/24/22(Mon)19:36:50 No.67135498 >be me >6 years ago 18 year old anon >best friend on Xbox gets a new girlfriend >s---- fine for a while >one day I tell my buddy to shut up he's poor (he's not he actually has more money than me but we're f------ around) 4 KB PNG >his gf hears this and goes on a f------ rampage >blows up phone, kik, messenger, snap, everything and telling me how I'm a terrible friend etc >she starts sending me info about my home town school etc. to try and f--- with with me >all s--- she can get from Facebook not even that hard to do >tell her to finally just knock it the f--- off and stop being a c---. Also told her that's how me and my buddy just joke around >fast forward to now >have big boy job and money to go on vacation >buddy and I joke about me going out to his place >only reason I don't is because he's still with her and she's still a f------ psycho like we'll be playing Xbox and she has one too and she'll join the party and just start acting like a bitch to me for no reason. I still have 0 idea what her f------ problem is after all these years. 9 Replies View Thread

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Anon makes a little trolling. | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 01/24/22(Mon)17:26:16 No.871304031 [Reply] >>871306746 >live on 3rd floor of 3 story apartment >see fat f--- neighbor waiting on elevator in lobby >"hey anon want a ride up?" >ignore him and take the stairs >go to second floor, push button, wait in stairwell >hear "Oh come on" >walk up and into my room Little things to make my day better.
O Anonymous 01/24/22(Mon)17:26:16 No.871304031 [Reply] >>871306746 >live on 3rd floor of 3 story apartment >see fat f--- neighbor waiting on elevator in lobby >"hey anon want a ride up?" >ignore him and take the stairs >go to second floor, push button, wait in stairwell >hear "Oh come on" >walk up and into my room Little things to make my day better.

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Anon finally gets it | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 09/09/21(Thu)19:48:38 No.65321388 [Reply] >265321645 >be me >decide to browse crystal cafe because it's apparently woman 4channel >thought lonely girls would be nice and sweet >w-- they're all grouchy and mean >all the posts are about how men are nasty perverts >think "Damn, maybe if they weren't so bitchy and hateful they'd be able to get into a relationship" >wait mfw
O Anonymous 09/09/21(Thu)19:48:38 No.65321388 [Reply] >265321645 >be me >decide to browse crystal cafe because it's apparently woman 4channel >thought lonely girls would be nice and sweet >w-- they're all grouchy and mean >all the posts are about how men are nasty perverts >think "Damn, maybe if they weren't so bitchy and hateful they'd be able to get into a relationship" >wait mfw

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Anon is in WW3 | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 01/24/22(Mon)09:56:55 No.67129062 >be American in 2024 >drafted into the Third World War >deployed to the Ukraine/Russia border >on patrol, looking for any Russians >suddenly we see someone coming >its a Russian kid flying through the air >f----- has hacks >we fire at him >he starts spinning, all of our shots miss >this lil bitch has a spin bot too >he shoots at us >every single shot hits us in the head, killing us >F------ Russians
O Anonymous 01/24/22(Mon)09:56:55 No.67129062 >be American in 2024 >drafted into the Third World War >deployed to the Ukraine/Russia border >on patrol, looking for any Russians >suddenly we see someone coming >its a Russian kid flying through the air >f----- has hacks >we fire at him >he starts spinning, all of our shots miss >this lil bitch has a spin bot too >he shoots at us >every single shot hits us in the head, killing us >F------ Russians

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Anon knows it’s time to end it | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/24/22(Mon)21:15:19 No.871336633 >me and gf were laying in bed naked >she moved her foot over and put it on my d--- >not a foot guy but let her continue >her foot was so soft, it felt 30 KB PNG amazing >rubs my d--- wit her foot until I finish >fast forward 3 months >everytime I see an attractive woman's feet I think back to that moment >start getting aroused by feet >l am scum >I know what I must do >goodbye guys
: Anonymous 01/24/22(Mon)21:15:19 No.871336633 >me and gf were laying in bed naked >she moved her foot over and put it on my d--- >not a foot guy but let her continue >her foot was so soft, it felt 30 KB PNG amazing >rubs my d--- wit her foot until I finish >fast forward 3 months >everytime I see an attractive woman's feet I think back to that moment >start getting aroused by feet >l am scum >I know what I must do >goodbye guys

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Anon thinks about Peter Griffin | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/24/22(Mon)15:13:41 No.871300776 Why is Peter Griffin fat? >Seems like a cheap joke to make the character more funny. There's no reason he should be fat >He's only ever seen eating dinner with his family or lunch where his portions are just normal >He often performs incredible 7 KB JPG feats of athletism that no fat guy could do >He's capable of sustaining massive fights with the chicken man displaying high levels of strength and stamina >He drinks but at the same level as Quagmire and Joe who aren't fat. Quagmire's slim and Joe's muscular while not walking >It's not like Homer Simpson who we frequently see have acts of gluttony and laziness >F--- Family Guy is retarded
: Anonymous 01/24/22(Mon)15:13:41 No.871300776 Why is Peter Griffin fat? >Seems like a cheap joke to make the character more funny. There's no reason he should be fat >He's only ever seen eating dinner with his family or lunch where his portions are just normal >He often performs incredible 7 KB JPG feats of athletism that no fat guy could do >He's capable of sustaining massive fights with the chicken man displaying high levels of strength and stamina >He drinks but at the same level as Quagmire and Joe who aren't fat. Quagmire's slim and Joe's muscular while not walking >It's not like Homer Simpson who we frequently see have acts of gluttony and laziness >F--- Family Guy is retarded

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Found this while deleting old files | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: jPxH3um 06/28/20(Sun)18:18:00 No.265371628 my entire lifes goal is to have huge female asses on my face every decision I have made since I was 14 has been based around having large female ass on my face >>265371784 # >>265372367 #
: Anonymous (ID: jPxH3um 06/28/20(Sun)18:18:00 No.265371628 my entire lifes goal is to have huge female asses on my face every decision I have made since I was 14 has been based around having large female ass on my face >>265371784 # >>265372367 #

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Anon makes a clay bear | /r/Greentext

File: nocobear.gif (622 KB, 650x650) Anonymous 01/24/22(Mon)06:43:54 No.67127061 [Reply] check out this little guy i made Anonymous 01/24/22(Mon)06:45:49 No.67127073 >>67127061 (OP)# anon that's really cute I'm proud of you for making that! I'll save this gif forever Anonymous 01/24/22(Mon)06:46:50 No.67127082 File: nocobearr.jpg (972 KB, 2016x1512) >>67127061 (OP) # >>67127073 # lol thank u he also has a backpack now
File: nocobear.gif (622 KB, 650x650) Anonymous 01/24/22(Mon)06:43:54 No.67127061 [Reply] check out this little guy i made Anonymous 01/24/22(Mon)06:45:49 No.67127073 >>67127061 (OP)# anon that's really cute I'm proud of you for making that! I'll save this gif forever Anonymous 01/24/22(Mon)06:46:50 No.67127082 File: nocobearr.jpg (972 KB, 2016x1512) >>67127061 (OP) # >>67127073 # lol thank u he also has a backpack now

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Anon doesn’t like squid game | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/24/22(Mon)21:46:55 No.871317429 >be me >sitting next to Igbt kids at lunch >we're talkin jokin around >kid in front of me falls on the ground and pretends to die >other kid says "what happened?" >"SQUID GAMES!!" 78 KB JPG >everyone laughs except for me >c'mon anon, you had to laugh, it's from memes! >mfw am i retarded? or is this s--- just getting old
: Anonymous 01/24/22(Mon)21:46:55 No.871317429 >be me >sitting next to Igbt kids at lunch >we're talkin jokin around >kid in front of me falls on the ground and pretends to die >other kid says "what happened?" >"SQUID GAMES!!" 78 KB JPG >everyone laughs except for me >c'mon anon, you had to laugh, it's from memes! >mfw am i retarded? or is this s--- just getting old

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Anon meets a psych ward escapee | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/25/22(Tue)01:18:47 No.67134420 Story from today >Go to use restroom >Pick the urinal on the far left as it's the closest (there are 3 for context) >Soon after another guy comes, takes the far right urinal >Randomly a third guy comes in 27 KB JPG and exclaims "Ayooo, it's peepee time" >He approaches middle stall and says "mind if I squeeeeze in here?" Before doing so regardless >"How are we doing today, fellas?" >Start to awkwardly laugh, finish pissing and and got to wash my hands >He follows me, watches me wash my hands, then proceeds to not wash his and leave Did I meet a sigma male?
: Anonymous 01/25/22(Tue)01:18:47 No.67134420 Story from today >Go to use restroom >Pick the urinal on the far left as it's the closest (there are 3 for context) >Soon after another guy comes, takes the far right urinal >Randomly a third guy comes in 27 KB JPG and exclaims "Ayooo, it's peepee time" >He approaches middle stall and says "mind if I squeeeeze in here?" Before doing so regardless >"How are we doing today, fellas?" >Start to awkwardly laugh, finish pissing and and got to wash my hands >He follows me, watches me wash my hands, then proceeds to not wash his and leave Did I meet a sigma male?

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Quality Content | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/23/22(Sun)16:33:57 No.67119842 schlop.jpg 51 KB JPG SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP
: Anonymous 01/23/22(Sun)16:33:57 No.67119842 schlop.jpg 51 KB JPG SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP

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Breaking ass | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/24/22(Mon)19:51:03 No.67129581 5032tt.png 700 KB PNG >try to make friends with women in elementary school >they always disliked me >start hating women >hate women so much i don't want to even be attracted to them >start jerking off to p--- with men >now im gay you're gay because you like men, im gay because i hate women. we are not the same.
: Anonymous 01/24/22(Mon)19:51:03 No.67129581 5032tt.png 700 KB PNG >try to make friends with women in elementary school >they always disliked me >start hating women >hate women so much i don't want to even be attracted to them >start jerking off to p--- with men >now im gay you're gay because you like men, im gay because i hate women. we are not the same.

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anon just wanted to discuss vidya | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/24/22(Mon)12:55:47 No.871293244 >join discord vidya server >want to talk about vidya, have a few questions about the vidya that i could use an experienced opinion on >blast through the long ass list of rules and go straight to general, there's like half a dozen people having an argument about birth control 1.19 MB GIF >come back in a couple hours, they're still arguing over some other dumb political s---. half of the users have t----- flags behind their avatar >try to start a conversation about vidya >ignored >i get fed up and leave what's the purpose of this app again? i just wanted to discuss vidya stats.
: Anonymous 01/24/22(Mon)12:55:47 No.871293244 >join discord vidya server >want to talk about vidya, have a few questions about the vidya that i could use an experienced opinion on >blast through the long ass list of rules and go straight to general, there's like half a dozen people having an argument about birth control 1.19 MB GIF >come back in a couple hours, they're still arguing over some other dumb political s---. half of the users have t----- flags behind their avatar >try to start a conversation about vidya >ignored >i get fed up and leave what's the purpose of this app again? i just wanted to discuss vidya stats.

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Another anon leaves us | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/18/18(Sun)17:34:48 No.785192776 >Urge to j------- >Grab Vaseline >Beat my meat with the fury of a thousand sons >Nut >Mfw Vaseline is made with 36 KB JPG petroleum >Mfw petroleum is dead dinosaur juice >Mfw female dead dinosaur in petroleum >Mfw basically had sex with female dinosaur See ya later virgins
: Anonymous 11/18/18(Sun)17:34:48 No.785192776 >Urge to j------- >Grab Vaseline >Beat my meat with the fury of a thousand sons >Nut >Mfw Vaseline is made with 36 KB JPG petroleum >Mfw petroleum is dead dinosaur juice >Mfw female dead dinosaur in petroleum >Mfw basically had sex with female dinosaur See ya later virgins

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