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Anon has a Star Wars Theory | /r/Greentext

>Han Solo and Princess Leia were definitely f------ on the Millennium Falcon when they were traveling from the asteroid fields to Cloud City >Online blueprints make it clear that the Millennium Falcon wasn't very large, didn't have much privacy 98 KB JPG >Online sources say the trip took around 5 weeks >Was that weird for Chewbacca? >I don't think so. Han was definitely a Chad >Chewie was probably used to Han pounding random space Stacies. He probably just hung out in the cockpit and pretended he didn't hear it.
>Han Solo and Princess Leia were definitely f------ on the Millennium Falcon when they were traveling from the asteroid fields to Cloud City >Online blueprints make it clear that the Millennium Falcon wasn't very large, didn't have much privacy 98 KB JPG >Online sources say the trip took around 5 weeks >Was that weird for Chewbacca? >I don't think so. Han was definitely a Chad >Chewie was probably used to Han pounding random space Stacies. He probably just hung out in the cockpit and pretended he didn't hear it.

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This is a test | /r/Greentext

sandmandaddy69 Follow <opinion> opinion> <opinion> vopinic <opinion> kabrOnex Follow This is literally 4chan for the past decade mr-system-of-a-downer Follow spy vs spy 2,196 notes
sandmandaddy69 Follow <opinion> opinion> <opinion> vopinic <opinion> kabrOnex Follow This is literally 4chan for the past decade mr-system-of-a-downer Follow spy vs spy 2,196 notes

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Anon loves hollywood remakes. | /r/Greentext


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Anon is born in Norway | /r/Greentext

>Be me. Born in Norway >My name is Sven. I am 6 foot 4, and ľm in great shape >Parents upper middle class. Get full advantage of Norwegian life >My erect penis points all the way to the right and is curved towards my body. 72 KB JPG >It looks like a Jew's nose. >MFW I had one shot at life, and I got a weird penis. | Pic related
>Be me. Born in Norway >My name is Sven. I am 6 foot 4, and ľm in great shape >Parents upper middle class. Get full advantage of Norwegian life >My erect penis points all the way to the right and is curved towards my body. 72 KB JPG >It looks like a Jew's nose. >MFW I had one shot at life, and I got a weird penis. | Pic related

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Brit visits America | /r/Greentext


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Anon gets herpes | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/23/22(Sun)10:41:09 No.25719261 >be me no confidence and chubby and never had a gf >work super hard on my body and mind >meet a cute and funny girl >despite having no experience and acting like social outcast i conquer 9 KB JPG her heart >ask her on a date >we kiss for the first time >2 days ago my upper lip feels weird >today i see some herpes on my lip How f----- am i ?I asked her if she had herpes on her mouth she told me she got it as a kid w-- ? : Anonymous 01/23/22(Sun)10:45:22 No.25719277 >>25719261 (OP) # It will go away don't worry.
: Anonymous 01/23/22(Sun)10:41:09 No.25719261 >be me no confidence and chubby and never had a gf >work super hard on my body and mind >meet a cute and funny girl >despite having no experience and acting like social outcast i conquer 9 KB JPG her heart >ask her on a date >we kiss for the first time >2 days ago my upper lip feels weird >today i see some herpes on my lip How f----- am i ?I asked her if she had herpes on her mouth she told me she got it as a kid w-- ? : Anonymous 01/23/22(Sun)10:45:22 No.25719277 >>25719261 (OP) # It will go away don't worry.

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Anon needs medicine | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/02/17(Wed)13:48:25 No.19385128 Weirdest sleep paralysis story? I'l start >Wake up looking at ceiling >Can't move >Grudge looking ass baby comes 7 KB JPG in >Starts dancing on my chest >Utters these exact words "I MAY BE DEAD, BUT AT LEAST I HAVE DENTAL INSURANCE!" >Start laughing >He laughs with me >Kisses me on my nose "See ya again, buttercup!! >Wake up with my pants covered with semen
: Anonymous 08/02/17(Wed)13:48:25 No.19385128 Weirdest sleep paralysis story? I'l start >Wake up looking at ceiling >Can't move >Grudge looking ass baby comes 7 KB JPG in >Starts dancing on my chest >Utters these exact words "I MAY BE DEAD, BUT AT LEAST I HAVE DENTAL INSURANCE!" >Start laughing >He laughs with me >Kisses me on my nose "See ya again, buttercup!! >Wake up with my pants covered with semen

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Anon is horny. | /r/Greentext

What's your most shameful fap? It can be your most cringe-worthy fap or a fap that showed you the depths of your deviancy. 32 KB JPG Cringe-worthy: >Probably about 14 or 15 years old >Have f------ dial-up internet (rural-f-- here) >Family goes to bed >Try to connect to interwebs >Connection fails repeatedly >Get hornier by the second >Get an idea >Open a program called "Pivot StickFigure Animator" (lets you make little stop-motion movies) >Make a stick figure with a big-ol' dong >Make a stick figure with long hair and t------ >Go through painful task of animating them engaged in foreplay >StickLady blows StickDude >I c-- >Delete my movie >Shutdown PC >Go to bed >Mind represses this memory for about 12 years >Memory floods back after I finish f------ my fiance >Laugh for a goddamned hour
What's your most shameful fap? It can be your most cringe-worthy fap or a fap that showed you the depths of your deviancy. 32 KB JPG Cringe-worthy: >Probably about 14 or 15 years old >Have f------ dial-up internet (rural-f-- here) >Family goes to bed >Try to connect to interwebs >Connection fails repeatedly >Get hornier by the second >Get an idea >Open a program called "Pivot StickFigure Animator" (lets you make little stop-motion movies) >Make a stick figure with a big-ol' dong >Make a stick figure with long hair and t------ >Go through painful task of animating them engaged in foreplay >StickLady blows StickDude >I c-- >Delete my movie >Shutdown PC >Go to bed >Mind represses this memory for about 12 years >Memory floods back after I finish f------ my fiance >Laugh for a goddamned hour

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Anon is evil | /r/Greentext

>Call my local bowling alley >"Do you have 30 lb balls? I can't really lift/throw anything heavier." >"Yes we do have 30 lb balls." >"THEN HOW DO YOU WALK!?!" >Hang up the phone 318.2 kB JPG НАНАНАНАНАНАНАНА
>Call my local bowling alley >"Do you have 30 lb balls? I can't really lift/throw anything heavier." >"Yes we do have 30 lb balls." >"THEN HOW DO YOU WALK!?!" >Hang up the phone 318.2 kB JPG НАНАНАНАНАНАНАНА

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Anon is disturbed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/23/22(Sun)13:41:50 No.871235498 >be me >sitting in restaurant eating sandwich >look over at Puerto Rican looking guy across the way >he ordered a baked potato >proceeds to tear into the f------ thing like a velociraptor eviscerating a poodle, or a hunk of bread >no knife and fork, or napkin, in f------ sight >Captain Caveman eats the entire thing skin and all >soon there is nothing left that would ever indicate there had ever been a baked potato, the neanderthal literally ate the entire potato out of existence I'm deeply disturbed. What the f---? Who eats a baked 15 KB JPG potato like this?
: Anonymous 01/23/22(Sun)13:41:50 No.871235498 >be me >sitting in restaurant eating sandwich >look over at Puerto Rican looking guy across the way >he ordered a baked potato >proceeds to tear into the f------ thing like a velociraptor eviscerating a poodle, or a hunk of bread >no knife and fork, or napkin, in f------ sight >Captain Caveman eats the entire thing skin and all >soon there is nothing left that would ever indicate there had ever been a baked potato, the neanderthal literally ate the entire potato out of existence I'm deeply disturbed. What the f---? Who eats a baked 15 KB JPG potato like this?

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Anon had a reddit account | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/23/22(Sun)11:07:19 No.871236751 C7dT5q0X4AAeajJ.jpg 65 KB JPG >be me yesterday >Reddit account is 2 years old, 300000 karma >Hundreds of high quality memes, interesting discussions, game dev posts, etc >post ONE shitpost making fun of trannies >account permanently banned Rest In Peace, old reddit account. I loved you.
: Anonymous 01/23/22(Sun)11:07:19 No.871236751 C7dT5q0X4AAeajJ.jpg 65 KB JPG >be me yesterday >Reddit account is 2 years old, 300000 karma >Hundreds of high quality memes, interesting discussions, game dev posts, etc >post ONE shitpost making fun of trannies >account permanently banned Rest In Peace, old reddit account. I loved you.

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Anon shits on the floor and thinks it's funny | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 01/22/22(Sat)16:59:38 No.871180171 >871180261 The most autistic thing I've ever done >be five year old me >think pooping and anything related to poop is the funniest thing ever >mom tells me that dad had a bad day at work >decide to cheer him up. he's in the living room watching TV >i stand in front of the TV. "Daddy, i hope this makes you laugh like me!" >pull my pants down and s--- on the carpet >i start laughing hysterically >mom and dad beat the hell out of me afterward >mfw I just wanted to cheer up my dad >> O Anonymous 01/22/22(Sat)17:01:50 No.871180261 >>871180171 (OP)
O Anonymous 01/22/22(Sat)16:59:38 No.871180171 >871180261 The most autistic thing I've ever done >be five year old me >think pooping and anything related to poop is the funniest thing ever >mom tells me that dad had a bad day at work >decide to cheer him up. he's in the living room watching TV >i stand in front of the TV. "Daddy, i hope this makes you laugh like me!" >pull my pants down and s--- on the carpet >i start laughing hysterically >mom and dad beat the hell out of me afterward >mfw I just wanted to cheer up my dad >> O Anonymous 01/22/22(Sat)17:01:50 No.871180261 >>871180171 (OP)

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Anon gets drunk | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/07/21(Tue)20:22:52 No.66467571 >got drunk and accidentally texted a picture of my penis e---------- to my work WhatsApp group It's f------ over, I haven't even looked at the replies and people have been calling my phone 85 KB JPG
: Anonymous 12/07/21(Tue)20:22:52 No.66467571 >got drunk and accidentally texted a picture of my penis e---------- to my work WhatsApp group It's f------ over, I haven't even looked at the replies and people have been calling my phone 85 KB JPG

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Anon Tries to Get a Better Look | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/15/21(Thu)10:49:47 No.64579795 >get new mirror on inside of door >Checking myself out all nakey in new mirror > Look at a------ >A------ is all red >Spread cheeks and bend over to get 373 KB PNG better look at red a------ >Mom opens door suddenly >Sees me bent over spreading and flexing my a------ >"Sorry" closes door What do I do now
: Anonymous 07/15/21(Thu)10:49:47 No.64579795 >get new mirror on inside of door >Checking myself out all nakey in new mirror > Look at a------ >A------ is all red >Spread cheeks and bend over to get 373 KB PNG better look at red a------ >Mom opens door suddenly >Sees me bent over spreading and flexing my a------ >"Sorry" closes door What do I do now

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Anon's 14 year old Brother | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/23/22(Sun)04:59:53 No.871226058 Be me. Accidentally catch my 14 year old brother on Nhentai. Was never gonna bring it up again but the little f--- started acting weird. Apparently he's been browsing the shotacon, i-----, milf tags cuz he's recently taken an interest in our aunt. mf isn't even subtle about it. Thinks the world runs on hentai logic. One night when we're sleeping over at her place he wakes up at like 12:00pm and gets out of bed. I'm still awake and follow him. lil bro goes to aunt reading on the couch. He has a massive f------ boner. Pulls the generic hentai "It suddenly got big" "help me". Whips out his c--- and gets closer expecting a f---. Instead gets screamed at by the aunt and essentially every member of the family the next day, + no internet, TV or videogames for the next year. Serves you right you f------ dumbass >>871226224 #
: Anonymous 01/23/22(Sun)04:59:53 No.871226058 Be me. Accidentally catch my 14 year old brother on Nhentai. Was never gonna bring it up again but the little f--- started acting weird. Apparently he's been browsing the shotacon, i-----, milf tags cuz he's recently taken an interest in our aunt. mf isn't even subtle about it. Thinks the world runs on hentai logic. One night when we're sleeping over at her place he wakes up at like 12:00pm and gets out of bed. I'm still awake and follow him. lil bro goes to aunt reading on the couch. He has a massive f------ boner. Pulls the generic hentai "It suddenly got big" "help me". Whips out his c--- and gets closer expecting a f---. Instead gets screamed at by the aunt and essentially every member of the family the next day, + no internet, TV or videogames for the next year. Serves you right you f------ dumbass >>871226224 #

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Anon pranks femanon | /r/Greentext


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Anon confirms he is human | /r/Greentext

File: 515E65A3-A8D3-4148-97A7-5().jpg (56 KB, 655x527) O Anonymous 08/25/18(Sat)21:59:19 No.47735907 [Reply] >need to reset hentaihaven premium password >Captcha >remember really hard what a street sign looks like (3years into neetdom) >Člick all four of them successfully >Verified I'm human See ya later robots
File: 515E65A3-A8D3-4148-97A7-5().jpg (56 KB, 655x527) O Anonymous 08/25/18(Sat)21:59:19 No.47735907 [Reply] >need to reset hentaihaven premium password >Captcha >remember really hard what a street sign looks like (3years into neetdom) >Člick all four of them successfully >Verified I'm human See ya later robots

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Anon ate too much | /r/Greentext

2h (1/22 14:00) · 67105339 10 Re · 0 Img · JPG · 64KB · (633 × 758) 8 Replies >ate 7000 calories today >it's not even 5 pm yet help me 1h (1/22 14:03) · 67105374 >>67105339 (OP) How do you eat 7000 calories a day? Like My record was an entire 400g Nutella Jar and Even then I felt horrible afterwards. Thats like 2000 Kcal at max.
2h (1/22 14:00) · 67105339 10 Re · 0 Img · JPG · 64KB · (633 × 758) 8 Replies >ate 7000 calories today >it's not even 5 pm yet help me 1h (1/22 14:03) · 67105374 >>67105339 (OP) How do you eat 7000 calories a day? Like My record was an entire 400g Nutella Jar and Even then I felt horrible afterwards. Thats like 2000 Kcal at max.

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Anon's wife is away | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/05/21(Sun)13:23:04 No.66439080 >wife about to leave for holiday trip to Jamaica >almost finished downloading all my games l'll play when she's away >working from home due to the coof aka gaming all day 79 KB JPG Kino. I love her but sometimes a man needs some manly time alone. You guys should be thankful you dont have to deal with a womans s--- 24/7. : Anonymous 12/05/21(Sun)13:24:19 No.66439093 >>66439080 (OP) # >holiday trip to jamaica hahahahAHAНАНАНАНАНАНАН 22 KB JPG
: Anonymous 12/05/21(Sun)13:23:04 No.66439080 >wife about to leave for holiday trip to Jamaica >almost finished downloading all my games l'll play when she's away >working from home due to the coof aka gaming all day 79 KB JPG Kino. I love her but sometimes a man needs some manly time alone. You guys should be thankful you dont have to deal with a womans s--- 24/7. : Anonymous 12/05/21(Sun)13:24:19 No.66439093 >>66439080 (OP) # >holiday trip to jamaica hahahahAHAНАНАНАНАНАНАН 22 KB JPG

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Anon sees cute girls | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/08/20(Thu)21:17:09 No.60383480 >drive to work looking at cute tired girls >work seeing cute girls all day drive home seeing cute girls out with friends smoking cigarettes and cool clothes > come into the house to fat 139 KB JPG nagging pig faced bitch who demands i make her dinner even though she does nothing but sit around and watch the masked singer never settle anons
: Anonymous 10/08/20(Thu)21:17:09 No.60383480 >drive to work looking at cute tired girls >work seeing cute girls all day drive home seeing cute girls out with friends smoking cigarettes and cool clothes > come into the house to fat 139 KB JPG nagging pig faced bitch who demands i make her dinner even though she does nothing but sit around and watch the masked singer never settle anons

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