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Anon is retarded | /r/Greentext

>sitting on living room couch, snapchatting gril >watching shrek at the same time >snap her a pic of the tv with shrek on it 13 KB JPG >she stops replying am i clinically retarded?
>sitting on living room couch, snapchatting gril >watching shrek at the same time >snap her a pic of the tv with shrek on it 13 KB JPG >she stops replying am i clinically retarded?

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Anon is in pure agony | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/18/19(Mon)21:50:28 No.792989476 >be me >talented guitarist and pianist >won numerous talent shows >also a big fan of the youtube channel Vsauce >one day get into an accident >lose my fingers as a result >I have to type with my nose 120 KB JPG >can no longer play instruments >my life passions are gone >feeling really depressed >see a new Vsauce video in my subscriptions box >"Is Anything Real?" uploaded June 3rd 2013 >so excited to watch a new Vsauce video >video starts >"Hey, Vsauce! Michael here! Where are your fingers?" >immediately start crying
: Anonymous 02/18/19(Mon)21:50:28 No.792989476 >be me >talented guitarist and pianist >won numerous talent shows >also a big fan of the youtube channel Vsauce >one day get into an accident >lose my fingers as a result >I have to type with my nose 120 KB JPG >can no longer play instruments >my life passions are gone >feeling really depressed >see a new Vsauce video in my subscriptions box >"Is Anything Real?" uploaded June 3rd 2013 >so excited to watch a new Vsauce video >video starts >"Hey, Vsauce! Michael here! Where are your fingers?" >immediately start crying

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Anon is a man of culture | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/05/18(Mon)18:12:37 No.784150030 >be me >jerking off >see overwatch p--- >the girls have d---- >instantly nut >think i might be gay >watch gay p--- 12 KB JPG >its terrible >the men are annoying and im flaccid the whole time >what am i? Comment too long. Click here to view the full text. 4 Replies /1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 11/05/18(Mon)18:15:19 No.784150214 >>784150030 (OP) # A bit of a f----- : Anonymous 11/05/18(Mon)18:25:10 No.784150918 >>784150030 (OP) # A man of culture anon 42 KB JPG
: Anonymous 11/05/18(Mon)18:12:37 No.784150030 >be me >jerking off >see overwatch p--- >the girls have d---- >instantly nut >think i might be gay >watch gay p--- 12 KB JPG >its terrible >the men are annoying and im flaccid the whole time >what am i? Comment too long. Click here to view the full text. 4 Replies /1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 11/05/18(Mon)18:15:19 No.784150214 >>784150030 (OP) # A bit of a f----- : Anonymous 11/05/18(Mon)18:25:10 No.784150918 >>784150030 (OP) # A man of culture anon 42 KB JPG

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Anon is Red Pilled | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/27/18(Sat)13:06:54 No.783389771 How I discovered my litteral Autism >Be me, senior year of highschool > 'arts café' at my school, basically the arts program (music drama, etc) does a bunch of performances and there's free food 37 KB PNG >Free food, so I go with some of my friends >In between performances the MC's make s----- puns >one of them is about Obama >Goes along the lines of 'what does Barack say to Michele when he wakes up' >Autism kicks in >shout 'time to OBOMBA some middle eastern children! >ohshit.jpeg >There are litteraly a hundred people there including parents and little kids, all staring at me >Every single teacher I had has a 'discussion' with me including the principle >she says I won't get suspended because I have a 'mental illness'
: Anonymous 10/27/18(Sat)13:06:54 No.783389771 How I discovered my litteral Autism >Be me, senior year of highschool > 'arts café' at my school, basically the arts program (music drama, etc) does a bunch of performances and there's free food 37 KB PNG >Free food, so I go with some of my friends >In between performances the MC's make s----- puns >one of them is about Obama >Goes along the lines of 'what does Barack say to Michele when he wakes up' >Autism kicks in >shout 'time to OBOMBA some middle eastern children! >ohshit.jpeg >There are litteraly a hundred people there including parents and little kids, all staring at me >Every single teacher I had has a 'discussion' with me including the principle >she says I won't get suspended because I have a 'mental illness'

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Anon is a sad giraffe | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/30/18(Tue)17:10:00 No.783660720 >be me >giraffe >eating leaves >watch the cheetahs race >go in for another bite of leaves >whole branch falls on me and I fall 45 KB JPG down covered in leaves >monkey who was on the tree saw me >he says "this n---- eatin leaves" >my whole herd laughs at me >mfw
: Anonymous 10/30/18(Tue)17:10:00 No.783660720 >be me >giraffe >eating leaves >watch the cheetahs race >go in for another bite of leaves >whole branch falls on me and I fall 45 KB JPG down covered in leaves >monkey who was on the tree saw me >he says "this n---- eatin leaves" >my whole herd laughs at me >mfw

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Anon gets an apartment | /r/Greentext

Story time robots >be me >27 year old nerd-virgin >Finally move out of my parent's house and into an apartment complex a month ago The stt even my frai lom 148 KB PNG >live next to roastie >Trying to go to sleep first night living here >Hear this bitch moaning and making loud sex sounds for a solid hour >Keeps me up past midnight >tired at work next morning >this happens EVERY F------ night >l try banging on the wall >F------ don't hear it or just ignore it >After a week, I go over and voice my dissatisfaction >Chad and bitch come out and say that they have the right to do what they want in their apartment >tell me to get f----- >That night, they're louder, more obnoxious, and go for longer than before >itson.wav >go to guitar center and buy the biggest, loudest, speakers they have >record audio of them f------ a few nights (gotta ensure I get the very best they have to offer) >begin observing their habits >notice they have friends over every friday night for drinking and s--- >intend to execute my plan the next Friday >Come home on a Wednesday and as I'm walking by, I see her walking into her apartment with her parents >ohshit.webm >Run into my apartment faster than a n----- with a TV >plug speakers into laptop >Crank it up to max setting >ExecuteOrder66.gif >audio file begins playing >sounds of "uhhh, UHHHHH UHHHHHHHH CHAD YES! YES! F--- MY ASS!!" can be heard throughout the building >feels like the windows might shatter from the sounds >when audio file ends, hear yelling from her apartment >hear sirens >Apparently, her father had a stroke from the embarrassment of hearing his daughter ask for Chad's hot c-- in her a------ >He recovers (kind of) >Never see Chad again >Roastie never has guys over again either >Last I heard, she was on antidepressants and doesn't go out anymore mfw I finally can get to sleep at a decent hour. mfw I ruin a roastie's life. mfw it was all well worth it
Story time robots >be me >27 year old nerd-virgin >Finally move out of my parent's house and into an apartment complex a month ago The stt even my frai lom 148 KB PNG >live next to roastie >Trying to go to sleep first night living here >Hear this bitch moaning and making loud sex sounds for a solid hour >Keeps me up past midnight >tired at work next morning >this happens EVERY F------ night >l try banging on the wall >F------ don't hear it or just ignore it >After a week, I go over and voice my dissatisfaction >Chad and bitch come out and say that they have the right to do what they want in their apartment >tell me to get f----- >That night, they're louder, more obnoxious, and go for longer than before >itson.wav >go to guitar center and buy the biggest, loudest, speakers they have >record audio of them f------ a few nights (gotta ensure I get the very best they have to offer) >begin observing their habits >notice they have friends over every friday night for drinking and s--- >intend to execute my plan the next Friday >Come home on a Wednesday and as I'm walking by, I see her walking into her apartment with her parents >ohshit.webm >Run into my apartment faster than a n----- with a TV >plug speakers into laptop >Crank it up to max setting >ExecuteOrder66.gif >audio file begins playing >sounds of "uhhh, UHHHHH UHHHHHHHH CHAD YES! YES! F--- MY ASS!!" can be heard throughout the building >feels like the windows might shatter from the sounds >when audio file ends, hear yelling from her apartment >hear sirens >Apparently, her father had a stroke from the embarrassment of hearing his daughter ask for Chad's hot c-- in her a------ >He recovers (kind of) >Never see Chad again >Roastie never has guys over again either >Last I heard, she was on antidepressants and doesn't go out anymore mfw I finally can get to sleep at a decent hour. mfw I ruin a roastie's life. mfw it was all well worth it

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Anon plays healer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/11/21(Thu)10:30:28 No.543918161 yuck_1600.jpg 189 KB JPG >sit down to watch my boyfriend play >he's a healer : Anonymous 02/11/21(Thu)10:33:21 No.543918434 Healer is actually the most alpha class Without you the entire group would fail You are keeping everyone alive
: Anonymous 02/11/21(Thu)10:30:28 No.543918161 yuck_1600.jpg 189 KB JPG >sit down to watch my boyfriend play >he's a healer : Anonymous 02/11/21(Thu)10:33:21 No.543918434 Healer is actually the most alpha class Without you the entire group would fail You are keeping everyone alive

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Anon is good at math | /r/Greentext

File: Suicide.jpg (12 KB, 237x250) O Anonymous 11/14/17(Tue)10:15:05 No.9295979 >>9295985 ITT: tell us about the most autistic /sci/ related thing you've ever done Here's mine >Be me >Be a useless sack of s--- till i'm 18 >Start teaching myself math >For once in my lifetime I have self confidence >Feel like l'm literally unstoppable >Go to a restaurant >As I am paying the tab this genius idea crosses my mind >I write the definite integral of a polynomial as the tip >My logic at the time was that only someone who is good in math should deserve the tip >I smugly smile to the waitress expecting her to be confused or to compliment me >Instead she whips out her phone, types wolframalpha (I presume) and finds the solution in less than 20 seconds >Turns out that my mental estimate of 16$ was wrong and the tip actually amounts to about 300$ >Too ashamed to protest
File: Suicide.jpg (12 KB, 237x250) O Anonymous 11/14/17(Tue)10:15:05 No.9295979 >>9295985 ITT: tell us about the most autistic /sci/ related thing you've ever done Here's mine >Be me >Be a useless sack of s--- till i'm 18 >Start teaching myself math >For once in my lifetime I have self confidence >Feel like l'm literally unstoppable >Go to a restaurant >As I am paying the tab this genius idea crosses my mind >I write the definite integral of a polynomial as the tip >My logic at the time was that only someone who is good in math should deserve the tip >I smugly smile to the waitress expecting her to be confused or to compliment me >Instead she whips out her phone, types wolframalpha (I presume) and finds the solution in less than 20 seconds >Turns out that my mental estimate of 16$ was wrong and the tip actually amounts to about 300$ >Too ashamed to protest

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Anon says no | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/02/21(Thu)00:24:05 No.66390963 >talk to female friend >she randomly says if she wanted me she could have me >I tell her no she couldn'tt >she gets really mad and says she could easily have me if she wanted to, practically has a fit of rage 6 KB JPG w-- happened here?
: Anonymous 12/02/21(Thu)00:24:05 No.66390963 >talk to female friend >she randomly says if she wanted me she could have me >I tell her no she couldn'tt >she gets really mad and says she could easily have me if she wanted to, practically has a fit of rage 6 KB JPG w-- happened here?

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Anon is a tech freelancer | /r/Greentext

6h (1/21 6:20) ·85317828 32 Re · 4 Img JPG 100KB · (900 × 507) 10 Replies hailand proper m EAST 88 COAST Pattayamost trusted realtor EAST COAST REALESTATE 12 >Learn Python >Work from home for an American company and also a freelancer >Make 3k$ a month after taxes >Pay 350$ for this house in Pattaya, Thailand Are you living the dream Anon? Do any of you work freelance from home? What do you do?
6h (1/21 6:20) ·85317828 32 Re · 4 Img JPG 100KB · (900 × 507) 10 Replies hailand proper m EAST 88 COAST Pattayamost trusted realtor EAST COAST REALESTATE 12 >Learn Python >Work from home for an American company and also a freelancer >Make 3k$ a month after taxes >Pay 350$ for this house in Pattaya, Thailand Are you living the dream Anon? Do any of you work freelance from home? What do you do?

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Anon saves a friend | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/15/18(Mon)14:52:40 No.48703858 >>48704560 >be me, end of high school >no friends >gf breaks up with me; can't do long distance >go home >think about future >parents want me to be a doctor and won't have it any other way >realize I don't want to go on >consider ending it >cry a bit >scan room, beginning to plan >see my pet tarantula (her name is Sheryl), molting. >waitafuckingsecond >she was exactly like this yesterday, with her legs about 1/3 removed >it's a bad/wet molt >if I leave her like this, she will die >I slowly and methodically cut away her molt with a pair of tweezers and my pocket knife >after about 3 hours, she's finally free >give her a few drips of water, which she gulps down greedily; she was obviously dehydrated >now comes the wait >new exo must harden, else she's a goner >worried sick for about 4 days, watching her constantly >another 3 days, and it's all over. I can handle her. >she practically jumps onto the back of my hand >she made it >my oldest and only friend pulled through >l cry tears of joy >remember my last tears >realize I was wrong >if I performed 3 hours of delicate surgery and cried for a spider, somebody would cry for me >life is a miracle, and it's worth living >set her back in her cage and she hides away in her burrow to sleep >l climb into bed, knowing that somebody out there cares >1 sleep peacefully for the first time in years
Anonymous 10/15/18(Mon)14:52:40 No.48703858 >>48704560 >be me, end of high school >no friends >gf breaks up with me; can't do long distance >go home >think about future >parents want me to be a doctor and won't have it any other way >realize I don't want to go on >consider ending it >cry a bit >scan room, beginning to plan >see my pet tarantula (her name is Sheryl), molting. >waitafuckingsecond >she was exactly like this yesterday, with her legs about 1/3 removed >it's a bad/wet molt >if I leave her like this, she will die >I slowly and methodically cut away her molt with a pair of tweezers and my pocket knife >after about 3 hours, she's finally free >give her a few drips of water, which she gulps down greedily; she was obviously dehydrated >now comes the wait >new exo must harden, else she's a goner >worried sick for about 4 days, watching her constantly >another 3 days, and it's all over. I can handle her. >she practically jumps onto the back of my hand >she made it >my oldest and only friend pulled through >l cry tears of joy >remember my last tears >realize I was wrong >if I performed 3 hours of delicate surgery and cried for a spider, somebody would cry for me >life is a miracle, and it's worth living >set her back in her cage and she hides away in her burrow to sleep >l climb into bed, knowing that somebody out there cares >1 sleep peacefully for the first time in years

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Anon has a lucid dream | /r/Greentext

O boards.4chan.org [][Return] [Catalog] [Bottom] File: D9FE10B6-A7E2-4C13-8BC2-F(...).jpg (303 KB, 750x753) Anonymous (ID: lamx35IV 10/27/18(Sat)11:47:57 No.6764941 >have lucid dream confessing love to girl >get rejected ][Return] [Catalog] [Top]
O boards.4chan.org [][Return] [Catalog] [Bottom] File: D9FE10B6-A7E2-4C13-8BC2-F(...).jpg (303 KB, 750x753) Anonymous (ID: lamx35IV 10/27/18(Sat)11:47:57 No.6764941 >have lucid dream confessing love to girl >get rejected ][Return] [Catalog] [Top]

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Anon is cousin of a serial killer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/17/21(Fri)07:09:10 No.65412695 Post the scariest experiences you've had >15 >cousin gets convicted for murdering three women 1.25 MB GIF >going through his house with family >one of my cousins from the other side of the family found a crawlspace >unironically said "I'm going in there to find dead bodies" >came out with a banker's box >envelopes full of pictures of his victims >ripped from the internet, taken while following them, etc >one of the envelopes was filled with pictures of me
: Anonymous 09/17/21(Fri)07:09:10 No.65412695 Post the scariest experiences you've had >15 >cousin gets convicted for murdering three women 1.25 MB GIF >going through his house with family >one of my cousins from the other side of the family found a crawlspace >unironically said "I'm going in there to find dead bodies" >came out with a banker's box >envelopes full of pictures of his victims >ripped from the internet, taken while following them, etc >one of the envelopes was filled with pictures of me

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Anon's daughter plays metal gear rising | /r/Greentext

>married, with a six year old daughter >wife hates violent videogames and doesn't want me playing them with daughter in same room >my little girl loves some of the violent stuff, but I do draw the line obviously >she absolutely loves, loves, loves Raiden, Sam, and the MGR: R cast of characters. Mostly likes Raiden and Sam over the rest of them. >get a phonecall from school, saying she was in a fight. >have to leave work and address this mess >principal explains to me that she punched a boy who made fun of her, stood over him and said, "Show me a good time, Jack." >l almost, almost started to laugh and had to brush it off like a cough. >had to ball my fist over my mouth, excuse myself. >'Anon, do you have any idea where she learned this?" >"No sir, but I will talk to her about it." >We made it five steps into the parking lot before I lost my s---, imagining my daughter standing over some little s--- with her arms spread saying, "Show me a good time, Jack." >got her ice cream, had a heart to heart, and had to play it down when wifey got home Kids are a treat sometimes.
>married, with a six year old daughter >wife hates violent videogames and doesn't want me playing them with daughter in same room >my little girl loves some of the violent stuff, but I do draw the line obviously >she absolutely loves, loves, loves Raiden, Sam, and the MGR: R cast of characters. Mostly likes Raiden and Sam over the rest of them. >get a phonecall from school, saying she was in a fight. >have to leave work and address this mess >principal explains to me that she punched a boy who made fun of her, stood over him and said, "Show me a good time, Jack." >l almost, almost started to laugh and had to brush it off like a cough. >had to ball my fist over my mouth, excuse myself. >'Anon, do you have any idea where she learned this?" >"No sir, but I will talk to her about it." >We made it five steps into the parking lot before I lost my s---, imagining my daughter standing over some little s--- with her arms spread saying, "Show me a good time, Jack." >got her ice cream, had a heart to heart, and had to play it down when wifey got home Kids are a treat sometimes.

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The old days | /r/Greentext

Anonymous NO.4TUTUT24 >1950 >ask a white virgin qt you met at the malt shop out on a date >you go get some burgers at the diner and watch a movie at the A 20 drive in 104 KB JPG >you take her home without having sex, as you just met her and that would be too soon
Anonymous NO.4TUTUT24 >1950 >ask a white virgin qt you met at the malt shop out on a date >you go get some burgers at the diner and watch a movie at the A 20 drive in 104 KB JPG >you take her home without having sex, as you just met her and that would be too soon

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Anon describes humanity | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 01/07/22(Fri)20:45:36 No.19708080 - >>19708096 >>19708107 >>19708112 >>19708127 >>19710099 >>19710226 I f------ cannot stand it at all that all nuclear power plants do is boil water. The history of humanity is nothing but boiling water. In the future there will be new ways to boil water and that's it. F--- it.
O Anonymous 01/07/22(Fri)20:45:36 No.19708080 - >>19708096 >>19708107 >>19708112 >>19708127 >>19710099 >>19710226 I f------ cannot stand it at all that all nuclear power plants do is boil water. The history of humanity is nothing but boiling water. In the future there will be new ways to boil water and that's it. F--- it.

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Anon is an artist | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 55 seconds ago No.33181590 E >>33181015 Art used to be something to cherish Now literally anything could be art This post is art.
Anonymous 55 seconds ago No.33181590 E >>33181015 Art used to be something to cherish Now literally anything could be art This post is art.

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Anon establishes his dominance in a work call | /r/Greentext

Times you acted like Bateman? >zoom call >Meeting with 20 or so people >l am muted, but think I am not muted as I need to keep talking >had my coffee just before the meeting >stomach troubles >feel the need to fart >better mute the mic >hit the key >just unmuted myself >fart loudly >click it again >realise i just unmuted my mic, interrupted this meeting by farting loudly and then muted again
Times you acted like Bateman? >zoom call >Meeting with 20 or so people >l am muted, but think I am not muted as I need to keep talking >had my coffee just before the meeting >stomach troubles >feel the need to fart >better mute the mic >hit the key >just unmuted myself >fart loudly >click it again >realise i just unmuted my mic, interrupted this meeting by farting loudly and then muted again

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Anon has a life | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/05/21(Sun)02:12:31 No.868008307 >be me >wake up >not obsessed with nfts >not transphobic >not a nazi >not a tankie >not obsessed with male hierarchy 136 KB JPG >don't have twitter >don't worship some mediocre pop star >don't watch annoying s-------- on youtube >life is good Just dont be a dumbass anons, it's that easy.
: Anonymous 12/05/21(Sun)02:12:31 No.868008307 >be me >wake up >not obsessed with nfts >not transphobic >not a nazi >not a tankie >not obsessed with male hierarchy 136 KB JPG >don't have twitter >don't worship some mediocre pop star >don't watch annoying s-------- on youtube >life is good Just dont be a dumbass anons, it's that easy.

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Anon is disliked | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/11/18(Sun)19:14:33 No.43126696 What are some of your worst experiences in school? >6th grade >teacher is calling on people to do math problems on the board >"If you get one wrong, I'll make 208 KB JPG you sit next to anon." >whole class erupts into laughter >tell my mom after school and she says it's my own fault nobody likes me
: Anonymous 02/11/18(Sun)19:14:33 No.43126696 What are some of your worst experiences in school? >6th grade >teacher is calling on people to do math problems on the board >"If you get one wrong, I'll make 208 KB JPG you sit next to anon." >whole class erupts into laughter >tell my mom after school and she says it's my own fault nobody likes me

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