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Anon played himself | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/28/21(Sun)12:59:04 No.848456155 >be me saturday morning >carefully walking to bedroom with a cup full of coffee >realize f--- it, I can just yeet this cup, future me will have to clean it up >yeet said cup, coffee everywhere on 19 KB JPG carpet and bed >j------- while laughing at cuck future me >mfw I'm future me
: Anonymous 02/28/21(Sun)12:59:04 No.848456155 >be me saturday morning >carefully walking to bedroom with a cup full of coffee >realize f--- it, I can just yeet this cup, future me will have to clean it up >yeet said cup, coffee everywhere on 19 KB JPG carpet and bed >j------- while laughing at cuck future me >mfw I'm future me

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Anon has a dream! | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/24/18(Mon)10:39:21 No.780684379 >be me lonely virgin >only ever hooked up with one grill >friends invite me to movie theatre >didn't want to go, but they convinced me to come 10 KB JPG along >end up meeting this qt 3.14 >solid 8/10, bright blue eyes, pretty face, t hicc >we actually hit it off pretty well >go in the theatre and we end up being alone together >we ended up holding hands and that's when It happened >mfw when I wake up from my dream and I was literally f------ holding my own hand, alone in bed. Please someone just kill me 2 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 09/24/18(Mon)10:39:21 No.780684379 >be me lonely virgin >only ever hooked up with one grill >friends invite me to movie theatre >didn't want to go, but they convinced me to come 10 KB JPG along >end up meeting this qt 3.14 >solid 8/10, bright blue eyes, pretty face, t hicc >we actually hit it off pretty well >go in the theatre and we end up being alone together >we ended up holding hands and that's when It happened >mfw when I wake up from my dream and I was literally f------ holding my own hand, alone in bed. Please someone just kill me 2 Replies View Thread

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Anon is in denial | /r/Greentext

H8SYBAEI (OP) 10m (1/20 14:13) · 357303044 7 Re 3 Img JPG 70KB (750O × 1334) 4 Replies S TikTok enamjooncrispytitties >watch tv >"russia is going to invade" >listen to car radio >"russia is going to invade" >go on the internet >"russia is going to invade" >talk with other people >"russia is going to invade" Thate journalists so much. Nothing is going to happen yet they keep riling everyone up, every single time. I'm So sick of it.
H8SYBAEI (OP) 10m (1/20 14:13) · 357303044 7 Re 3 Img JPG 70KB (750O × 1334) 4 Replies S TikTok enamjooncrispytitties >watch tv >"russia is going to invade" >listen to car radio >"russia is going to invade" >go on the internet >"russia is going to invade" >talk with other people >"russia is going to invade" Thate journalists so much. Nothing is going to happen yet they keep riling everyone up, every single time. I'm So sick of it.

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Anon likes 4chan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/20/22(Thu)06:01:57 No.871036510 >be me >shitpost to 4chan >get 4chan replies >be me >ask 4chan a genuine question that had been nagging me >Comments are filled with genuine information 446 KB JPG >the internet lies about you people >have a wonderful day :D
: Anonymous 01/20/22(Thu)06:01:57 No.871036510 >be me >shitpost to 4chan >get 4chan replies >be me >ask 4chan a genuine question that had been nagging me >Comments are filled with genuine information 446 KB JPG >the internet lies about you people >have a wonderful day :D

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Anon is alone | /r/Greentext

>Girlfriend of 4 years leaves me last week >She moved out while I was at work >Went into computer room >Her desk is completely empty 13 KB JPG >I sit down and browse the internet for a bit >Looking at random funny videos >Hours pass >Find one funny video I can't stop laughing at >"Hey you have to see th-" >Turn to see an empty desk beside mine I thought she was still here.
>Girlfriend of 4 years leaves me last week >She moved out while I was at work >Went into computer room >Her desk is completely empty 13 KB JPG >I sit down and browse the internet for a bit >Looking at random funny videos >Hours pass >Find one funny video I can't stop laughing at >"Hey you have to see th-" >Turn to see an empty desk beside mine I thought she was still here.

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anon doesn't trust the Gov | /r/Greentext


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Anon is tall | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/20/22(Thu)14:08:18 No.67070737 I'm tired IMSORRY BUT FEMBOY HOOTERS YOUR SOCKS ARENTTALLENOUGH TO WORK HERE Tmgfip.com RDT_20211228_1613327834922091457431188.png 879 KB PNG >6"5 >live in a country that uses metric so nobody cares Americans have it so easy CITE
: Anonymous 01/20/22(Thu)14:08:18 No.67070737 I'm tired IMSORRY BUT FEMBOY HOOTERS YOUR SOCKS ARENTTALLENOUGH TO WORK HERE Tmgfip.com RDT_20211228_1613327834922091457431188.png 879 KB PNG >6"5 >live in a country that uses metric so nobody cares Americans have it so easy CITE

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Anon is an actor | /r/Greentext

23.07 ul 4G : Anonymous 10/23/21(Sat)02:26:36 No.865389576 >Be me, 63 y/o male, actor, married for 2nd time >Have affair with Co worker on film set ALEC BALDWIN - F.A.G. >She threatens to tell my wife >Shitshitshit 11 KB JPG >FFW few days, keep affair going but have a plan >Decide to replace blank rounds with live bullet in prop gun >Accidentally fire live round at co worker. Kill her. >Use all my acting skills to get off the hook and blame everyone else. Anons did I do good? Pic not related
23.07 ul 4G : Anonymous 10/23/21(Sat)02:26:36 No.865389576 >Be me, 63 y/o male, actor, married for 2nd time >Have affair with Co worker on film set ALEC BALDWIN - F.A.G. >She threatens to tell my wife >Shitshitshit 11 KB JPG >FFW few days, keep affair going but have a plan >Decide to replace blank rounds with live bullet in prop gun >Accidentally fire live round at co worker. Kill her. >Use all my acting skills to get off the hook and blame everyone else. Anons did I do good? Pic not related

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Anon hate women. | /r/Greentext

File: thonk.jpg (30 KB, 610x357) O Anonymous 01/02/22(Sun)00:58:06 No.869783557 >Be me >Walking down the street >Run into another guy >We do that thing where you move side to side simultaneously and keep accidentally blocking each other. >Y'know, that thing. >He shrugs and says "great minds think alike!" >We laugh, fist-bump, and go our separate ways. >Few weeks later, same thing happens >Woman this time. >She's a solid cute/10 >idea.jpg >"Hey, great minds think ali-" >She rolls her eyes, scoffs loudly, and angrily shoulders past me. >Calls me a "f------ idiot" on her way out for good measure. How do I become gay? Does electroshock therapy work in reverse too?
File: thonk.jpg (30 KB, 610x357) O Anonymous 01/02/22(Sun)00:58:06 No.869783557 >Be me >Walking down the street >Run into another guy >We do that thing where you move side to side simultaneously and keep accidentally blocking each other. >Y'know, that thing. >He shrugs and says "great minds think alike!" >We laugh, fist-bump, and go our separate ways. >Few weeks later, same thing happens >Woman this time. >She's a solid cute/10 >idea.jpg >"Hey, great minds think ali-" >She rolls her eyes, scoffs loudly, and angrily shoulders past me. >Calls me a "f------ idiot" on her way out for good measure. How do I become gay? Does electroshock therapy work in reverse too?

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Anon is a permanent virgin | /r/Greentext

File: 2C992141-1C85-48E2-943A-E(..).png (87 KB, 684x576) Anonymous 01/19/22(Wed)21:52:13 No.67065253 Anons what sealed your fate as a permanent virgin? >be me >flashback to my freshman year of high school >i look decent, not a f------ but not ugly as s---, no one would really wanna date me though and im too p---- to talk to a girl >not many friends either, and i sat alone at lunch >end of semester exams happening >physics exam today >all set, notes done and everything, feel like im actually gonna do good on it >sit alone at lunch, again >really popular and hot girl who is in my physics class comes up to me and asks me if i want to study with her for the exam next period >enormousopportunity.png >taken aback because i didn't think she would ask such an outcast like me >give my best response >"no im already set for it thanks" >she walks away giving an "okay i guess" look >im blissfully unaware of the incredibly retarded decision i just made >guys down the table look at me and they look like they are going to have heart attacks >"ANON WHY THE F--- WOULD YOU REJECT HER" >"_because im already set for the exam and i don't need to study?" >finish my lunch >go sit in my secret spot on a distant part of the campus for the rest of the lunch period, alone >ponder over the decision >slowly realize the enormous opportunity to build a social life that i just threw away >never made a move on a girl since and was pretty much alone for the rest of high school >to this day i feel like such a retard I actually did pretty good on the exam
File: 2C992141-1C85-48E2-943A-E(..).png (87 KB, 684x576) Anonymous 01/19/22(Wed)21:52:13 No.67065253 Anons what sealed your fate as a permanent virgin? >be me >flashback to my freshman year of high school >i look decent, not a f------ but not ugly as s---, no one would really wanna date me though and im too p---- to talk to a girl >not many friends either, and i sat alone at lunch >end of semester exams happening >physics exam today >all set, notes done and everything, feel like im actually gonna do good on it >sit alone at lunch, again >really popular and hot girl who is in my physics class comes up to me and asks me if i want to study with her for the exam next period >enormousopportunity.png >taken aback because i didn't think she would ask such an outcast like me >give my best response >"no im already set for it thanks" >she walks away giving an "okay i guess" look >im blissfully unaware of the incredibly retarded decision i just made >guys down the table look at me and they look like they are going to have heart attacks >"ANON WHY THE F--- WOULD YOU REJECT HER" >"_because im already set for the exam and i don't need to study?" >finish my lunch >go sit in my secret spot on a distant part of the campus for the rest of the lunch period, alone >ponder over the decision >slowly realize the enormous opportunity to build a social life that i just threw away >never made a move on a girl since and was pretty much alone for the rest of high school >to this day i feel like such a retard I actually did pretty good on the exam

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4Chan i blame you | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 761573897 9 min. ago 4chan I blame you. >be me, 17 >just got license >home alone, want McD's >Drive in my Mom's minivan >4chan has been daily browsing for me at this point >drive through >"Yeah, uhm, can I get a 10 pc of some chicken tendies?" >whatthefuckdidljustsay.exe has been executed >this m----------- says "sure anon" >oneofus.jpg >drive to window, embarrassed af >guy is 20 something, says "you seem chill" and passes me note with his twitter >dm him >now best friends.
Anonymous | 761573897 9 min. ago 4chan I blame you. >be me, 17 >just got license >home alone, want McD's >Drive in my Mom's minivan >4chan has been daily browsing for me at this point >drive through >"Yeah, uhm, can I get a 10 pc of some chicken tendies?" >whatthefuckdidljustsay.exe has been executed >this m----------- says "sure anon" >oneofus.jpg >drive to window, embarrassed af >guy is 20 something, says "you seem chill" and passes me note with his twitter >dm him >now best friends.

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Anon imagines himself in the sopranos | /r/Greentext


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Anon reads the newspaper | /r/Greentext

3m (1/20 11:34) · 871021317 O Re · O Img · JPG- 997KB · (1908 × 1146) VB >be me >at grandma's house >read a newspaper for the first time in a decade >front page features my cousin being arrested for multiple counts of r--- against a minor So how is your Thursday doing?
3m (1/20 11:34) · 871021317 O Re · O Img · JPG- 997KB · (1908 × 1146) VB >be me >at grandma's house >read a newspaper for the first time in a decade >front page features my cousin being arrested for multiple counts of r--- against a minor So how is your Thursday doing?

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something something “anon idiot” | /r/Greentext


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Anon autisms on a farmer | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/05/14(Wed)20:29:30 No.530995260 ITT: Autistic Mistakes > Be 15 > Go to farm on after- school group's field trip > Want to be funny > Go to farmer 19 KB JPG "You have a nice d---." > MFW meant to say c--- > MEW I realize he grew vegatables > MFW I'm probably retarded
Anonymous 02/05/14(Wed)20:29:30 No.530995260 ITT: Autistic Mistakes > Be 15 > Go to farm on after- school group's field trip > Want to be funny > Go to farmer 19 KB JPG "You have a nice d---." > MFW meant to say c--- > MEW I realize he grew vegatables > MFW I'm probably retarded

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Anon discusses inflation | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: wwbpAQRN ) 07/24/21 (Sat)11:40:12 No.331224460 Dr Angharad Watson @AngharadWatson My husband has just had a pay rise, which is lovely, but I can't help notice that in the last 10 years, his salary has increased 87%, while mine has increased by 18% I've spent most of that time working on curing cancer. He's been calculating your car insurance. 8:29 AM - Jul 21, 2021- Twitter for Android 17.3K Retweets 977 Quote Tweets 147.7K Likes Screen Shot 2021-07-23 at 8.34.54 AM.png 146 KB PNG Why is this F------ allowed!? She is LITERALLY curing cancer and this dude works on Car Insurance rates, and he has almost F------ doubled his salary in 10 years while she is barely keeping up with inflation! : Anonymous (ID: AC2P/oy 07/24/21(Sat)11:41:52 No.331224662 >>331224460 (OP) # is cancer cured yet? ১১৪31224846 # ১১331225089 # ১১331225531 #2১331226805 # ১১331226825 # >>331227083 # >>331227108 # >331227940 # >>331228019 # >>331228197 # >>331228259 # >>331228741 # >>331232342 # >>331232525 # 2>331232839 # >>331232971 # >>331233259 # >>331233523 #
: Anonymous (ID: wwbpAQRN ) 07/24/21 (Sat)11:40:12 No.331224460 Dr Angharad Watson @AngharadWatson My husband has just had a pay rise, which is lovely, but I can't help notice that in the last 10 years, his salary has increased 87%, while mine has increased by 18% I've spent most of that time working on curing cancer. He's been calculating your car insurance. 8:29 AM - Jul 21, 2021- Twitter for Android 17.3K Retweets 977 Quote Tweets 147.7K Likes Screen Shot 2021-07-23 at 8.34.54 AM.png 146 KB PNG Why is this F------ allowed!? She is LITERALLY curing cancer and this dude works on Car Insurance rates, and he has almost F------ doubled his salary in 10 years while she is barely keeping up with inflation! : Anonymous (ID: AC2P/oy 07/24/21(Sat)11:41:52 No.331224662 >>331224460 (OP) # is cancer cured yet? ১১৪31224846 # ১১331225089 # ১১331225531 #2১331226805 # ১১331226825 # >>331227083 # >>331227108 # >331227940 # >>331228019 # >>331228197 # >>331228259 # >>331228741 # >>331232342 # >>331232525 # 2>331232839 # >>331232971 # >>331233259 # >>331233523 #

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Anon wonders | /r/Greentext


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Anon is french | /r/Greentext


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Anon goes to school with a retard | /r/Greentext


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I’d be scared too | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Wat 09/24/18(Mon)23:23:35 No.48329553 >be me >Viet Cong >hear Fortunate Son in distance >mfw 150 KB PNG
: Anonymous Wat 09/24/18(Mon)23:23:35 No.48329553 >be me >Viet Cong >hear Fortunate Son in distance >mfw 150 KB PNG

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