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Anon is underaged | /r/Greentext

ITT Big Screw-ups I'll start. >Be me >go to church with my family >the preacher says >"god is Among Us" >Autism.jpg 103 KB PNG >literally burst out laughing and screaming sus out of instinct >Everyone looks at me in disgust >mfw they refuse to speak with me now
ITT Big Screw-ups I'll start. >Be me >go to church with my family >the preacher says >"god is Among Us" >Autism.jpg 103 KB PNG >literally burst out laughing and screaming sus out of instinct >Everyone looks at me in disgust >mfw they refuse to speak with me now

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Anon found out about the piss goblins | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/18/22(Tue)09:03:16 No.67040942 >drink 1.5l of water in one sitting >Have to piss a lot POPO >Go to bed >Wake up having to piss in the morning, piss is still clear POPOV 339 KB PNG >Drink 1.5l of vodka and a mixer in one sitting >Piss maybe once or twice >Go to bed >Wake up, don't have to piss >Whatever piss that does come out is deep yellow How does this work? Where is my piss disappearing to? Are there piss goblins or something that steal my pee when I'm drunk?
: Anonymous 01/18/22(Tue)09:03:16 No.67040942 >drink 1.5l of water in one sitting >Have to piss a lot POPO >Go to bed >Wake up having to piss in the morning, piss is still clear POPOV 339 KB PNG >Drink 1.5l of vodka and a mixer in one sitting >Piss maybe once or twice >Go to bed >Wake up, don't have to piss >Whatever piss that does come out is deep yellow How does this work? Where is my piss disappearing to? Are there piss goblins or something that steal my pee when I'm drunk?

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anon goes to Wendy's | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 48813221 2 min ago >Be me >At Wendy's waiting in line for tendies >Black guy walks into store and stands behind me >Immediately think to myself, "s---, this dude is about the rob the store" >Realize that I just unfairly based my thoughts on a stereotype >Decide that thinking in that way is unfair to others and close-minded 25.7 kB JPG and that I should pursue a more open-minded and accepting view of humanity from now on >Black guy pulls out gun >Robs the store >mfw REPLY
Anonymous | 48813221 2 min ago >Be me >At Wendy's waiting in line for tendies >Black guy walks into store and stands behind me >Immediately think to myself, "s---, this dude is about the rob the store" >Realize that I just unfairly based my thoughts on a stereotype >Decide that thinking in that way is unfair to others and close-minded 25.7 kB JPG and that I should pursue a more open-minded and accepting view of humanity from now on >Black guy pulls out gun >Robs the store >mfw REPLY

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Firth grade | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/17/17(Sun)21:56:15 No.754124819 > Back in 1th grade > Teacher ask to write my name > Draw a banana > Gets a F and public exposure I hate my life 13 KB JPG : Anonymous 12/17/17(Sun)21:58:23 No.754125046 >1th You deserve what you got op
: Anonymous 12/17/17(Sun)21:56:15 No.754124819 > Back in 1th grade > Teacher ask to write my name > Draw a banana > Gets a F and public exposure I hate my life 13 KB JPG : Anonymous 12/17/17(Sun)21:58:23 No.754125046 >1th You deserve what you got op

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Ma'am stop | /r/Greentext

No.723560076 53 minutes ago JPG 23.9 KiB 495x495 >be me >14 y/o > school uses white boards > replace white board marker ink with permanent marker ink > Bio class > teacher happens to teach human reproduction on that day > Live in a pretty conservative country so it is a taboo topic > draws huge c--- on the board > class over > next teacher comes in > tries to erase the board > class laughs > my autism kicks in > "Ma'am stop rubbing the penis" > She loses it > principal's office > She doesn't know I replaced the ink > Lets me go >I go back and see 3 bottles of acetone from the chem lab > successfully wasted time and resources
No.723560076 53 minutes ago JPG 23.9 KiB 495x495 >be me >14 y/o > school uses white boards > replace white board marker ink with permanent marker ink > Bio class > teacher happens to teach human reproduction on that day > Live in a pretty conservative country so it is a taboo topic > draws huge c--- on the board > class over > next teacher comes in > tries to erase the board > class laughs > my autism kicks in > "Ma'am stop rubbing the penis" > She loses it > principal's office > She doesn't know I replaced the ink > Lets me go >I go back and see 3 bottles of acetone from the chem lab > successfully wasted time and resources

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Anon does what is called a pro gamer moment | /r/Greentext

| Anonymous 01/19/19(Sat)19:43:52 No.50505418 just man the f--- up and get a gf. 59 KB JPG 8 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 01/19/19(Sat)20:02:04 No.50505556 >>50505418 (OP) # How bout you man the f--- down and become my gf uwu
| Anonymous 01/19/19(Sat)19:43:52 No.50505418 just man the f--- up and get a gf. 59 KB JPG 8 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 01/19/19(Sat)20:02:04 No.50505556 >>50505418 (OP) # How bout you man the f--- down and become my gf uwu

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Anon gets a bonsai tree | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/31/19(Fri)00:48:52 No.801024299 Storytime /b/. >be me, depressed and homebody >smoke in my room almost constantly >decide to get a bonsai tree >looking up maintenance and care, completely overlooked my smoking 7 KB JPG habit >realize im killing this tree with my s----- choice to smoke, ignoring the irony of killing myself with my choice to smoke >started smoking outside >Started smoking less >Bonsy is looking great >i feel much better too >quit smoking Thanks bonsy. 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 05/31/19(Fri)00:48:52 No.801024299 Storytime /b/. >be me, depressed and homebody >smoke in my room almost constantly >decide to get a bonsai tree >looking up maintenance and care, completely overlooked my smoking 7 KB JPG habit >realize im killing this tree with my s----- choice to smoke, ignoring the irony of killing myself with my choice to smoke >started smoking outside >Started smoking less >Bonsy is looking great >i feel much better too >quit smoking Thanks bonsy. 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon misses 2008 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/14/18(Wed)02:03:49 No.49268962 >tfw ideal is qt emo looking gf >pale skin, black hair, bangs, cute face, not fat >it's not 2008 anymore >l didn't have to courage to talk to them when I was a 54 KB PNG teenager >emo chicks aren't around anymore, especially in 20s age bracket this feels like when your favourite food place stops making your favourite limited time food, but worse.
: Anonymous 11/14/18(Wed)02:03:49 No.49268962 >tfw ideal is qt emo looking gf >pale skin, black hair, bangs, cute face, not fat >it's not 2008 anymore >l didn't have to courage to talk to them when I was a 54 KB PNG teenager >emo chicks aren't around anymore, especially in 20s age bracket this feels like when your favourite food place stops making your favourite limited time food, but worse.

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Anon Learns The Globe | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/09/17(Tue)08:34:00 No.36887885 >be american BORN TO >get fat, get shot, become poor because surgery is 100 000$ FEEL 14 KB JPG >be european >get beheaded by isis >be asian >suicide because of stress and no gf >be african >be african >be australian >get killed by venomous animal and lose war against emu I guess no place on earth is good after all
Anonymous 05/09/17(Tue)08:34:00 No.36887885 >be american BORN TO >get fat, get shot, become poor because surgery is 100 000$ FEEL 14 KB JPG >be european >get beheaded by isis >be asian >suicide because of stress and no gf >be african >be african >be australian >get killed by venomous animal and lose war against emu I guess no place on earth is good after all

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Anon doesn't understand | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/17/22(Mon)18:39:35 No.870887802 1642471935984.png 161 KB PNG >turns out there is a girl who has a crush on me >but she has a boyfriend How does that work?
: Anonymous 01/17/22(Mon)18:39:35 No.870887802 1642471935984.png 161 KB PNG >turns out there is a girl who has a crush on me >but she has a boyfriend How does that work?

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Anon reads Harry Potter | /r/Greentext


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Anon finds love | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 01/18/22(Tue)07:50:58 No.870900548 Be me: 23 y/o living in Chicago > Lonely > Go to bar with friends > Drinking > See cute girl across from bar > Fit figure with huge honkers > Drink more shots > Watch her leave > idea.png > Follow her outside > Drag her into alleyway > R--- her hard > She says no entire time > Tells me she's not on birth control > "That's too bad" > C-- hard inside of her > After I pull out she smiling > Gives me her number > Ask her why > Turns out she is single with a massive r--- fetish Been together for 3 years and I still do her in alleyways whenever we go out
O Anonymous 01/18/22(Tue)07:50:58 No.870900548 Be me: 23 y/o living in Chicago > Lonely > Go to bar with friends > Drinking > See cute girl across from bar > Fit figure with huge honkers > Drink more shots > Watch her leave > idea.png > Follow her outside > Drag her into alleyway > R--- her hard > She says no entire time > Tells me she's not on birth control > "That's too bad" > C-- hard inside of her > After I pull out she smiling > Gives me her number > Ask her why > Turns out she is single with a massive r--- fetish Been together for 3 years and I still do her in alleyways whenever we go out

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Anon is from another timeline | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/17/22(Mon)11:29:16 No.67027727 >decided to reread about the Iranian embassy siege on 1980 >sources say that only a few hostages died and it was an overall success >distinctly remember reading years ago that the siege was a colossal failure and got way more civilians 161 KB JPG killed after an SAS f----- >also read that the embassy siege put the SAS in the public consciousness, became known to the public afterward whereas they were classified before, and the aftermath saw many have more faith in Thatcher's government >remember reading years ago that they were already known before this and the failure of the siege severely damaged their reputation, as well as there being a loss of faith in the British government afterwards What f------ timeline is this? Am I going insane? 24 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 01/17/22(Mon)11:29:16 No.67027727 >decided to reread about the Iranian embassy siege on 1980 >sources say that only a few hostages died and it was an overall success >distinctly remember reading years ago that the siege was a colossal failure and got way more civilians 161 KB JPG killed after an SAS f----- >also read that the embassy siege put the SAS in the public consciousness, became known to the public afterward whereas they were classified before, and the aftermath saw many have more faith in Thatcher's government >remember reading years ago that they were already known before this and the failure of the siege severely damaged their reputation, as well as there being a loss of faith in the British government afterwards What f------ timeline is this? Am I going insane? 24 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon gets laid | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/01/18(Thu)11:11:00 No.783768621 >>783768080 (OP) # >be me, 18 >get drunk >girl i'm dating also gets drunk >asks if i want to f--- >hell yeah >stick it in >c-- on 1st thrust >hell yeah
: Anonymous 11/01/18(Thu)11:11:00 No.783768621 >>783768080 (OP) # >be me, 18 >get drunk >girl i'm dating also gets drunk >asks if i want to f--- >hell yeah >stick it in >c-- on 1st thrust >hell yeah

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Anon is a procrastinator | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/01/18(Thu)20:30:36 No.49047062 >Have a whole week to do an assignment >Wait until the last 4 hours >have panic attack and total meltdown because 4 hours isn't enough to do it >have to try 58 KB PNG >do it in 2 hours >get 95% on the assignment >one week to do assignment >wait until the last 2 hours
: Anonymous 11/01/18(Thu)20:30:36 No.49047062 >Have a whole week to do an assignment >Wait until the last 4 hours >have panic attack and total meltdown because 4 hours isn't enough to do it >have to try 58 KB PNG >do it in 2 hours >get 95% on the assignment >one week to do assignment >wait until the last 2 hours

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Anon's thoughts about weed | /r/Greentext


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Anon lives in the big city | /r/Greentext


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Anons friend has an onlyfans | /r/Greentext


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I haven't seen Chris Brown in a while | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 49141130 1 órával ezelőtt •.. >Walk into biology class >Teacher has a bruise on her arm >Autistic spaz ask teacher how she got it >autism.mp4 >l scream out >"she got Chris Browned" >mfw when everyone is laughing >mfw I don't get into trouble 25,7 kB JPG 1 REPLY O IMAGES Anonymous | 49141950 25 perccel ezelőtt •.. >>49141130 (OP) The teacher didn't punish you because she felt sorry for you and took pity on you, because you are retarded. I was once a teacher and I would ignore the retards because I genuinely couldn't bring myself to make their life any worse than it was.
Anonymous | 49141130 1 órával ezelőtt •.. >Walk into biology class >Teacher has a bruise on her arm >Autistic spaz ask teacher how she got it >autism.mp4 >l scream out >"she got Chris Browned" >mfw when everyone is laughing >mfw I don't get into trouble 25,7 kB JPG 1 REPLY O IMAGES Anonymous | 49141950 25 perccel ezelőtt •.. >>49141130 (OP) The teacher didn't punish you because she felt sorry for you and took pity on you, because you are retarded. I was once a teacher and I would ignore the retards because I genuinely couldn't bring myself to make their life any worse than it was.

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Anon fails upward | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/17/22(Mon)17:06:19 No.67034628 >try to be as cringe and feminine as possible to make gf hate me >she likes me even more and wants to spend more time together This is totally not good. >will never escape her at this rate Goddamnit 90 KB JPG View Thread
: Anonymous 01/17/22(Mon)17:06:19 No.67034628 >try to be as cringe and feminine as possible to make gf hate me >she likes me even more and wants to spend more time together This is totally not good. >will never escape her at this rate Goddamnit 90 KB JPG View Thread

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