Greentext Stories - Images

Sorted By:

Anon refuses a free sandwich. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/10/22(Mon)19:14:30 No.66934070 >be me >14 >home alone w/ Grandma >she's upstairs taking a nap >need to feel some excitement in my life >have to wank in the kitchen 1.98 MB JPG >about to coom >can hear grandma walking down the stairs >ohshit.jpg >panic >can't find anywhere to finish >spot mayonnaise jar on the counter >rush to open it >coom into the mayonnaise >feelsgoodman >no one will notice it >devilish smile flashes across my lips >looks like an old jar, nobody even likes mayonnaise, nobody will know >grandma walks into the kitchen >pretend to look busy >asks if I want a sandwich, I tell her sure >she makes bologna sandwiches >asks if I want mayo >fuckfuckfuck >no >she adds mayo to her sandwich >nogrannyno >takes everything inside me not to scream don't eat the coom mayo
: Anonymous 01/10/22(Mon)19:14:30 No.66934070 >be me >14 >home alone w/ Grandma >she's upstairs taking a nap >need to feel some excitement in my life >have to wank in the kitchen 1.98 MB JPG >about to coom >can hear grandma walking down the stairs >ohshit.jpg >panic >can't find anywhere to finish >spot mayonnaise jar on the counter >rush to open it >coom into the mayonnaise >feelsgoodman >no one will notice it >devilish smile flashes across my lips >looks like an old jar, nobody even likes mayonnaise, nobody will know >grandma walks into the kitchen >pretend to look busy >asks if I want a sandwich, I tell her sure >she makes bologna sandwiches >asks if I want mayo >fuckfuckfuck >no >she adds mayo to her sandwich >nogrannyno >takes everything inside me not to scream don't eat the coom mayo

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon goes hunting. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/08/19(Tue)03:31:42 No.789437948 >be me >hunterfag >sitting out in the cold ass swamp at 6 in the morning doing some duck hunting >before first light my stomach starts going f------ nuts 49 KB JPG >ate Taco Bell for breakfast. >realize I'm about to s--- myself >run behind some tall grass, pull waders down so I can s--- >right as I start I hear something move behind me >l turn my head to look >it's a f------ gator >said gator is now covered in my Taco Bell diarrhea Pic related
: Anonymous 01/08/19(Tue)03:31:42 No.789437948 >be me >hunterfag >sitting out in the cold ass swamp at 6 in the morning doing some duck hunting >before first light my stomach starts going f------ nuts 49 KB JPG >ate Taco Bell for breakfast. >realize I'm about to s--- myself >run behind some tall grass, pull waders down so I can s--- >right as I start I hear something move behind me >l turn my head to look >it's a f------ gator >said gator is now covered in my Taco Bell diarrhea Pic related

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext organism terrestrial plant font

Anon likes big ladies | /r/Greentext

>>227582769 # Thats not for you to decide, boy 92410745 p0.jpg 1.34 MB JPG Japan is heading towards the golden age boys Anonymous 08/31/21(Tue)14:51:56 No.227582769 >>227582715 (OP) # I will not have sex with the big ladies. >>227582806 # >>227582809 # >>227583324 # >>227583546 # >>227588283 # >>227589610 # >227590878 # >>227592395 # Anonymous08/31/21(Tue)19:07:56 No.227592395 >>227582769 # Thats not for you to decide, boy 82798 ead
>>227582769 # Thats not for you to decide, boy 92410745 p0.jpg 1.34 MB JPG Japan is heading towards the golden age boys Anonymous 08/31/21(Tue)14:51:56 No.227582769 >>227582715 (OP) # I will not have sex with the big ladies. >>227582806 # >>227582809 # >>227583324 # >>227583546 # >>227588283 # >>227589610 # >227590878 # >>227592395 # Anonymous08/31/21(Tue)19:07:56 No.227592395 >>227582769 # Thats not for you to decide, boy 82798 ead

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext facial expression mouth gesture

Anon has a cool grandpa. | /r/Greentext


Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

cherry chapstick | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/11/21(Mon)23:27:35 No.65729540 >be me in high school >truth or dare at a party >get dare to kiss my bro on the lips >we peck and everyone starts chuckling >haha hoho so funny 40 KB JPG FF to today >haven't talked to bro since high school >bro came out as trans today on Facebook >basically kissed a girl See ya later virgins
: Anonymous 10/11/21(Mon)23:27:35 No.65729540 >be me in high school >truth or dare at a party >get dare to kiss my bro on the lips >we peck and everyone starts chuckling >haha hoho so funny 40 KB JPG FF to today >haven't talked to bro since high school >bro came out as trans today on Facebook >basically kissed a girl See ya later virgins

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext happy

Anon is one of us | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/16/22(Sun)22:46:04 No.870805396 >be me, 10 mins ago >mother calls me >"I want to show you something you probably can't even remember but I guess you're old enough to AUTISM know" 149 KB JPG >whatshappening.jpeg >read papers “autism test, anon, 7 years old" >remember I went to an psychological faculty of the local university back then Turns out I have “light Asperger's syndrome", I'm one of you, I'm officially socially retarded! >mom says things like I will support you I know you have it harder but you're intelligent never forget that >say thanks mom >dance in my room - I now have an excuse for being a Virgin at 23
: Anonymous 01/16/22(Sun)22:46:04 No.870805396 >be me, 10 mins ago >mother calls me >"I want to show you something you probably can't even remember but I guess you're old enough to AUTISM know" 149 KB JPG >whatshappening.jpeg >read papers “autism test, anon, 7 years old" >remember I went to an psychological faculty of the local university back then Turns out I have “light Asperger's syndrome", I'm one of you, I'm officially socially retarded! >mom says things like I will support you I know you have it harder but you're intelligent never forget that >say thanks mom >dance in my room - I now have an excuse for being a Virgin at 23

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon is a psychopath | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/16/22(Sun)05:55:54 No.870781845 >be me indian f-- >small d--- ugly face basically >but smart because of tiger parents >mentaltorment.png >hate school >still spend 4 years of prep to get into top 10 university >get into top university 7 KB JPG >success.jpg >hate the university i gave up my adolscence for this s--- and now they excpect me to work more?f--- them >badrades.jpg >durin my senior year found my passion of animal abuse >bludlust.jpg >mostly kill stray dogs and cats >graduation.jpg >wagecuck.png >ask a muslim girl neibour out. rejects me impolitly . >other neibour is a devout cow worshiper >muslim and cow worshiper fight. coz she a bitch >later killed a cow i found on the road. this is common in my country. >enjoy it very much but dont know how to dispose of such large animal >lightbulb.jpg >drop dead bloody cow in front of cow worshiper house >cow worshiper immediatly suspects muslim because they eat beef >communal violence occurs and muslim girl gets killed in it >feels good man
: Anonymous 01/16/22(Sun)05:55:54 No.870781845 >be me indian f-- >small d--- ugly face basically >but smart because of tiger parents >mentaltorment.png >hate school >still spend 4 years of prep to get into top 10 university >get into top university 7 KB JPG >success.jpg >hate the university i gave up my adolscence for this s--- and now they excpect me to work more?f--- them >badrades.jpg >durin my senior year found my passion of animal abuse >bludlust.jpg >mostly kill stray dogs and cats >graduation.jpg >wagecuck.png >ask a muslim girl neibour out. rejects me impolitly . >other neibour is a devout cow worshiper >muslim and cow worshiper fight. coz she a bitch >later killed a cow i found on the road. this is common in my country. >enjoy it very much but dont know how to dispose of such large animal >lightbulb.jpg >drop dead bloody cow in front of cow worshiper house >cow worshiper immediatly suspects muslim because they eat beef >communal violence occurs and muslim girl gets killed in it >feels good man

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Regrets, I’ve had a few | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/19/21(Thu)08:04:55 No.65046222 Please be patient I have autism >two years ago >sitting in my room playing vidya >get phone call from a lady friend >pick up, she's in hysterics >after calming down a little bit she tells me her boyfriend sold her nudes to some 42 KB JPG of his friends and she doesn't know what to do >calm her down and tell her to just break up with him >talk for 5 minutes and just have a heart to heart >she says she loves me >inner autism activates >"ok" >hang up >go back to gaming Probably the most retarded moment in my life
: Anonymous 08/19/21(Thu)08:04:55 No.65046222 Please be patient I have autism >two years ago >sitting in my room playing vidya >get phone call from a lady friend >pick up, she's in hysterics >after calming down a little bit she tells me her boyfriend sold her nudes to some 42 KB JPG of his friends and she doesn't know what to do >calm her down and tell her to just break up with him >talk for 5 minutes and just have a heart to heart >she says she loves me >inner autism activates >"ok" >hang up >go back to gaming Probably the most retarded moment in my life

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext goggles

Anon is about to get swatted by Pornhub | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/16/22(Sun)10:33:43 No.870767599 Warning i pomhub.com/video/search?search=black+slave A Warning Your search could be for illegal and abusive sexual material, including non-consensual intimate imagery (NCII) or image- based sexual abuse (IBSA). The recording and/or distribution of NCII may be a crime in the area where you reside, as well as in many other jurisdictions. Actual or staged depictions of coerced or non-consensual sexual acts or the use of a person's likeness without their consent is not permitted on our site. We take image-based sexual abuse and non-consensual intimate imagery very seriously. For more information about our policies related to NCII and IBSA, please visit our Trust & Safety Centre. If you are the victim, or have personal knowledge that an intimate image/video has already been shared on our site without consent, you can report it via our Content Removal Request Form, or to the police. Additional information regarding victim resources can be found through the Cyber Civil Rights Initiative. Go Back Homepage Capture.jpg 150 KB JPG >search 'white slave' >684 results >search 'black slave' >picrel well I guess i'm about to get swatted by pornhub
: Anonymous 01/16/22(Sun)10:33:43 No.870767599 Warning i pomhub.com/video/search?search=black+slave A Warning Your search could be for illegal and abusive sexual material, including non-consensual intimate imagery (NCII) or image- based sexual abuse (IBSA). The recording and/or distribution of NCII may be a crime in the area where you reside, as well as in many other jurisdictions. Actual or staged depictions of coerced or non-consensual sexual acts or the use of a person's likeness without their consent is not permitted on our site. We take image-based sexual abuse and non-consensual intimate imagery very seriously. For more information about our policies related to NCII and IBSA, please visit our Trust & Safety Centre. If you are the victim, or have personal knowledge that an intimate image/video has already been shared on our site without consent, you can report it via our Content Removal Request Form, or to the police. Additional information regarding victim resources can be found through the Cyber Civil Rights Initiative. Go Back Homepage Capture.jpg 150 KB JPG >search 'white slave' >684 results >search 'black slave' >picrel well I guess i'm about to get swatted by pornhub

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext product font material property

Anon is kinda dumb | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Why did they name it blue whal(...) 01/08/22(Sat)01:48:57 No.4030682 1626562413731.jpg 159 KB JPG >Biggest animal on earth >Bigger than any other being that has or will exist >Bigger than all dinosaurs >Bigger than the Megalodon >Instead of being named something like "king whale" or "ultra killer murder whale" it's just named blue whale it's not even that blue
: Anonymous Why did they name it blue whal(...) 01/08/22(Sat)01:48:57 No.4030682 1626562413731.jpg 159 KB JPG >Biggest animal on earth >Bigger than any other being that has or will exist >Bigger than all dinosaurs >Bigger than the Megalodon >Instead of being named something like "king whale" or "ultra killer murder whale" it's just named blue whale it's not even that blue

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext eyebrow azure organism eyelash font slope material property

anon kills a man | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/17/21(Sun)11:50:00 No.845062302 >be me >at mall >taking s--- in restroom >hear door open >guy goes 'jesus f----' >hear door close 11 KB JPG >hear what sounds like profuse vomiting just outside door >hear someone scream 'call 911!' >scared.png >stay in stall >15 minutes later hear ambulance sirens >hear someone say 'don't you die on me you bastard' >hear 'clear!' And what sounds like shocking >goes on for 5 minutes >hear 'call it, death 2:30 pm' Still in stall
: Anonymous 01/17/21(Sun)11:50:00 No.845062302 >be me >at mall >taking s--- in restroom >hear door open >guy goes 'jesus f----' >hear door close 11 KB JPG >hear what sounds like profuse vomiting just outside door >hear someone scream 'call 911!' >scared.png >stay in stall >15 minutes later hear ambulance sirens >hear someone say 'don't you die on me you bastard' >hear 'clear!' And what sounds like shocking >goes on for 5 minutes >hear 'call it, death 2:30 pm' Still in stall

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font terrestrial plant

He is right | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/13/19(Tue)01:30:00 No.53878455 >>53878466 >>53878475 >>53878439 >she if it has a penis it isnt a "she" Anonymous 08/13/19(Tue)01:30:54 No.53878466 File: 410gxVYu08L. _SX425_jpg (21 KB, 425x408) >>53878515 >>53878455 I'm straight so whatever makes my d--- hard is a woman f----- reddit
Anonymous 08/13/19(Tue)01:30:00 No.53878455 >>53878466 >>53878475 >>53878439 >she if it has a penis it isnt a "she" Anonymous 08/13/19(Tue)01:30:54 No.53878466 File: 410gxVYu08L. _SX425_jpg (21 KB, 425x408) >>53878515 >>53878455 I'm straight so whatever makes my d--- hard is a woman f----- reddit

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font rectangle

anon buys a car | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: aVy/Oy25 11/21/21(Sun)15:58:22 No.348798710 >buy new car in illinois >state law says you can return a car to a dealer within 30 days for any reason no questions asked as long as its not damaged, full 100% refund >return car after 29 days >dealer is livid but must accept it by law >come back next day, inquire about the same car >act as if I know absolutely nothing about the events of the previous month >dealer is blurting out features and options through clenched teeth >l'm interested... can you run a car fax for me? >oh this car is used >I'm still interested but not at that price, here's half >sales wagie has to breathe into a paper bag so he doesn't collapse from stress >l buy a new car at half price
: Anonymous (ID: aVy/Oy25 11/21/21(Sun)15:58:22 No.348798710 >buy new car in illinois >state law says you can return a car to a dealer within 30 days for any reason no questions asked as long as its not damaged, full 100% refund >return car after 29 days >dealer is livid but must accept it by law >come back next day, inquire about the same car >act as if I know absolutely nothing about the events of the previous month >dealer is blurting out features and options through clenched teeth >l'm interested... can you run a car fax for me? >oh this car is used >I'm still interested but not at that price, here's half >sales wagie has to breathe into a paper bag so he doesn't collapse from stress >l buy a new car at half price

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon is a succesful bussinesman | /r/Greentext


Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Anons girl is a bit challenged... | /r/Greentext

No. 870773168 01/16/22(Sun)04:20:46 pepesmalleyes.jpg 8 KB 236x202 >Be me, go on a date with this 7.5/10 big booba chick >We go to a lakeside cafe >A lot of mosquitos around us >l try to kill one with my hands, but she stops me >l ask her w-- is she doing, and she tells me that mosquito lives matter >I look at her like a f------ retard that just jumped out of a mental asylum >She then tells me that all lives matter >So I ask her what about my precious life >Human lives don't matter but mosquitos does >Tell me why should I date women again?
No. 870773168 01/16/22(Sun)04:20:46 pepesmalleyes.jpg 8 KB 236x202 >Be me, go on a date with this 7.5/10 big booba chick >We go to a lakeside cafe >A lot of mosquitos around us >l try to kill one with my hands, but she stops me >l ask her w-- is she doing, and she tells me that mosquito lives matter >I look at her like a f------ retard that just jumped out of a mental asylum >She then tells me that all lives matter >So I ask her what about my precious life >Human lives don't matter but mosquitos does >Tell me why should I date women again?

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext organism terrestrial plant

Good times | /r/Greentext

T0/09/ TO(Tut)10.09.J0 TNU.70T00JTT4 Haven't told anyone this yet so you all will be the first > be me > horny 14 year old > playing Smash Melee with gf > jokingly say "if I win you're giving me a h------" 1.7 MB GIF > beat her because girls can't game for s--- > celebrating.ogg > "anon do you still want that h------?" > holup.mov > I didn't think she would take it seriously but f--- yeah > whip out my d--- > she jacks me off for a while > feelsprettygoodman > she suggests a b------ > f--- yes > stop her before l'm about to bust > ask if she wants to f--- > she does > pull out the condoms because I was a responsible retard back then > we start f------ (both being virgins) > once I finish we go back to playing melee I wish I was 14 again. Now I just want to kill myself.
T0/09/ TO(Tut)10.09.J0 TNU.70T00JTT4 Haven't told anyone this yet so you all will be the first > be me > horny 14 year old > playing Smash Melee with gf > jokingly say "if I win you're giving me a h------" 1.7 MB GIF > beat her because girls can't game for s--- > celebrating.ogg > "anon do you still want that h------?" > holup.mov > I didn't think she would take it seriously but f--- yeah > whip out my d--- > she jacks me off for a while > feelsprettygoodman > she suggests a b------ > f--- yes > stop her before l'm about to bust > ask if she wants to f--- > she does > pull out the condoms because I was a responsible retard back then > we start f------ (both being virgins) > once I finish we go back to playing melee I wish I was 14 again. Now I just want to kill myself.

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon spreads the good word | /r/Greentext

Marcissus IN9eDLmFsKI 08/11/11(Thu)12:43 No.87673510 File1313080993 png-(9 KB, 288x350, 1310957042554.png) >walking down street >group of hot girls ahead on sidewalk >oh f--- >aspie overload >cross street to avoid social WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS contact >they notice me crossing >they giggle > f--- this rll just pretend i live at this house" >go down random driveway >curtains shuffle >middle aged woman stars at me out the window >turn around fast >3 girls stood staring at me >this is their house >rapidly think of plan B >'have you accepted jesus as your lord and saviour?"
Marcissus IN9eDLmFsKI 08/11/11(Thu)12:43 No.87673510 File1313080993 png-(9 KB, 288x350, 1310957042554.png) >walking down street >group of hot girls ahead on sidewalk >oh f--- >aspie overload >cross street to avoid social WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS contact >they notice me crossing >they giggle > f--- this rll just pretend i live at this house" >go down random driveway >curtains shuffle >middle aged woman stars at me out the window >turn around fast >3 girls stood staring at me >this is their house >rapidly think of plan B >'have you accepted jesus as your lord and saviour?"

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon loathes Reddit | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/- ROBOT9001 v Settings Home : Anonymous 12/17/17(Sun)09:08:52 No.41840022 4chan >Call someone a f----- >At worst they call you a f----- back >That's that 3 KB PNG Reddit >Call someone a f----- >"I thought that in this day and age we wouldn't have to deal with homophobia my grandfather was a leather daddy in the 50s and he had AIDS and that's ok and multiculturalism is great and I love b--------- and... Etc >You have been banned fro r/whatever please suck our d---- to come back Redditors can't even handle entry-level banter, they're like the preschoolers of the internet.
Board /r9k/- ROBOT9001 v Settings Home : Anonymous 12/17/17(Sun)09:08:52 No.41840022 4chan >Call someone a f----- >At worst they call you a f----- back >That's that 3 KB PNG Reddit >Call someone a f----- >"I thought that in this day and age we wouldn't have to deal with homophobia my grandfather was a leather daddy in the 50s and he had AIDS and that's ok and multiculturalism is great and I love b--------- and... Etc >You have been banned fro r/whatever please suck our d---- to come back Redditors can't even handle entry-level banter, they're like the preschoolers of the internet.

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon is a dad | /r/Greentext

I Anonymous 12/04/16(Sun)00: 19 20 No 359600273 File: Spoiler Image (82 KB, 528x960) 22359599614 Its not much of a story anon il give you the quick green txt version >Be about 6 yrs ago >Meet a grill on FB >We hit it off and date >Few months into it she gets pregnant >We decide on adoption >Fast forward to delivery day >As my daughter is bom I decide I cant/wolnt give her away >Baby momma tells me she doesnt want her and if I want to keep her its all on me >l say alioht take the child and move back in with family >Raise the child for 4 years on my own with no help from her mother >My family helps out here and there >Finally save up enough to get a place for us and pay rent a year in advance move into a one bedroom >She gets the bedroom I sleep on the pullout >She is 5 now her bday is on the 17th >lve worked as much as I can so she will have stuff for her bday and christmas >We >pic related its last xmas
I Anonymous 12/04/16(Sun)00: 19 20 No 359600273 File: Spoiler Image (82 KB, 528x960) 22359599614 Its not much of a story anon il give you the quick green txt version >Be about 6 yrs ago >Meet a grill on FB >We hit it off and date >Few months into it she gets pregnant >We decide on adoption >Fast forward to delivery day >As my daughter is bom I decide I cant/wolnt give her away >Baby momma tells me she doesnt want her and if I want to keep her its all on me >l say alioht take the child and move back in with family >Raise the child for 4 years on my own with no help from her mother >My family helps out here and there >Finally save up enough to get a place for us and pay rent a year in advance move into a one bedroom >She gets the bedroom I sleep on the pullout >She is 5 now her bday is on the 17th >lve worked as much as I can so she will have stuff for her bday and christmas >We >pic related its last xmas

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext flower plant houseplant flowerpot window

Anon likes Obama | /r/Greentext


Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext