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anon finds a youtube channel | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/06/19(Sat)20:43:20 No.804024147 >be me >watching anything and everything on youtube as usual >watch a video i find legit hilarious >actually laugh and feel happy >channel has over 100 videos, over 10 minutes long, and all equally hilarious 157 KB PNG >binge watch all of them over the course of three days >no more videos >only uploads every couple weeks >source of entertainment and happiness gone >feel sad and empty
: Anonymous 07/06/19(Sat)20:43:20 No.804024147 >be me >watching anything and everything on youtube as usual >watch a video i find legit hilarious >actually laugh and feel happy >channel has over 100 videos, over 10 minutes long, and all equally hilarious 157 KB PNG >binge watch all of them over the course of three days >no more videos >only uploads every couple weeks >source of entertainment and happiness gone >feel sad and empty

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Deer Don't Care | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/23/19(Thu)15:04:02 No.1521313 >first time backpacking >went solo >setup tent going to sleep hear something walking around >poke head out with headlamp and holding knife >deer is walking around my tent eating stuff >l yell at it and go back in my tent >it walks up and sleeps on my tent, collapsing half of it while I'm in the other half >it leaves at break of daylight and I get up and leave as well wasn't spoopy when I poked my head out, but the noises it made just outside my tent before I saw it were freaky. >>1521331 # >>1521676 # : Anonymous 05/23/19(Thu)15:41:59 No.1521331 >>1521313 # Thats honestly f------ awesome! : Anonymous 05/24/19(Fri)02:49:55 No.1521676 DeerPepe.jpg 3.28 MB JPG >>1521313 # >be deer >roaming woods doing deer s--- >see some loner bedding down in his tent >walk around and sample some of the fine greens around his camp >loner pops out holding a knife and wearing a headlamp like some kind of spelunker >can see his shadowed face holding a scared expression >lol.treescratching >then the a------ has the idea to yell at me >ah hell naw son >"that tent looks comfy, room for two?" >sit my tick-bitten ass right on top of loner's tent >sleep snugly and smugly until the crack of dawn >leave feeling like a total 8-point >never saw him in my woods again >die of chronic wasting disease a week later
: Anonymous 05/23/19(Thu)15:04:02 No.1521313 >first time backpacking >went solo >setup tent going to sleep hear something walking around >poke head out with headlamp and holding knife >deer is walking around my tent eating stuff >l yell at it and go back in my tent >it walks up and sleeps on my tent, collapsing half of it while I'm in the other half >it leaves at break of daylight and I get up and leave as well wasn't spoopy when I poked my head out, but the noises it made just outside my tent before I saw it were freaky. >>1521331 # >>1521676 # : Anonymous 05/23/19(Thu)15:41:59 No.1521331 >>1521313 # Thats honestly f------ awesome! : Anonymous 05/24/19(Fri)02:49:55 No.1521676 DeerPepe.jpg 3.28 MB JPG >>1521313 # >be deer >roaming woods doing deer s--- >see some loner bedding down in his tent >walk around and sample some of the fine greens around his camp >loner pops out holding a knife and wearing a headlamp like some kind of spelunker >can see his shadowed face holding a scared expression >lol.treescratching >then the a------ has the idea to yell at me >ah hell naw son >"that tent looks comfy, room for two?" >sit my tick-bitten ass right on top of loner's tent >sleep snugly and smugly until the crack of dawn >leave feeling like a total 8-point >never saw him in my woods again >die of chronic wasting disease a week later

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Anon promotes vaccines | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/13/22(Thu)23:26:17 No.870627843 >be me >recently promoted manager and a proud member of the vaxxer race. > after so many workers got alianated because of my actions, it gathers the attention of the ceo, and i get called to his office 69 KB JPG >he is a moderna cuck, but still an honorary vaxxer >"anon, it came to my attention that you have been alienating workers making them eat outside the building? i'd like to receive an explanation. especially right before we appropiate X company" >i use my persuasive skills to explain my very well justified and righteous motivation >"w-wow anon, i didn't know you felt so strongly about this... i understand... your struggle." >gives me the ok to continue >i ask my group to start wearing black raincoats in order to impose authority and compell the inferior scums >i start creating a list of names for more targetted persuasions >see an increase in vaccinated people >nazi salute with a "heil Pfeizer" becomes the only acceptable greeting the work continues. i will hunt down every last one of these animals until it is done. heilPfizer.
: Anonymous 01/13/22(Thu)23:26:17 No.870627843 >be me >recently promoted manager and a proud member of the vaxxer race. > after so many workers got alianated because of my actions, it gathers the attention of the ceo, and i get called to his office 69 KB JPG >he is a moderna cuck, but still an honorary vaxxer >"anon, it came to my attention that you have been alienating workers making them eat outside the building? i'd like to receive an explanation. especially right before we appropiate X company" >i use my persuasive skills to explain my very well justified and righteous motivation >"w-wow anon, i didn't know you felt so strongly about this... i understand... your struggle." >gives me the ok to continue >i ask my group to start wearing black raincoats in order to impose authority and compell the inferior scums >i start creating a list of names for more targetted persuasions >see an increase in vaccinated people >nazi salute with a "heil Pfeizer" becomes the only acceptable greeting the work continues. i will hunt down every last one of these animals until it is done. heilPfizer.

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Anon likes fancy food | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/01/19(Fri)19:45:09 No.13151086 >Welcome to Paris monsieur, we serve ze best cuisine in ze universe >May I take your ordeure ? 122 KB JPG : Anonymous 11/01/19(Fri)19:46:56 No.13151098 I'll have the chicken tenderloins. Lightly fried, with a honey sweetened Dijon mustard sauce. 57 KB JPG
: Anonymous 11/01/19(Fri)19:45:09 No.13151086 >Welcome to Paris monsieur, we serve ze best cuisine in ze universe >May I take your ordeure ? 122 KB JPG : Anonymous 11/01/19(Fri)19:46:56 No.13151098 I'll have the chicken tenderloins. Lightly fried, with a honey sweetened Dijon mustard sauce. 57 KB JPG

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Anon gets probed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/06/19(Sun)13:17:14 No.789291479 >be me >dream about aliens abducting me >getting probed and s--- >felt really f------ realistic >wake up >little bit scared 15 KB PNG >notice that my a------ kinda hurts and tingles >Mfw I have a tapeworm infection 3 Replies / 2 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 01/06/19(Sun)13:17:14 No.789291479 >be me >dream about aliens abducting me >getting probed and s--- >felt really f------ realistic >wake up >little bit scared 15 KB PNG >notice that my a------ kinda hurts and tingles >Mfw I have a tapeworm infection 3 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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what happens when you make a serious post on 4chan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/23/19(Sun)21:36:34 No.802981558 >Mom and dad are fighting >my dad starts packing his things in a plastic bag >He sees me playing minecraft >"Hey anon your Minecraft house need some greenery" >alright dad 27 KB PNG >dad leaves and drives away >l ask my mom where he went >"he's gone to stay somewhere else anon" >mfw >it's been 2 hours and l'm still crying : Anonymous 06/23/19(Sun)21:37:46 No.802981607 get your priorities straight. Fix up your s------- of a minecraft house for f---- sake. That's why he left. >>802981826 #
: Anonymous 06/23/19(Sun)21:36:34 No.802981558 >Mom and dad are fighting >my dad starts packing his things in a plastic bag >He sees me playing minecraft >"Hey anon your Minecraft house need some greenery" >alright dad 27 KB PNG >dad leaves and drives away >l ask my mom where he went >"he's gone to stay somewhere else anon" >mfw >it's been 2 hours and l'm still crying : Anonymous 06/23/19(Sun)21:37:46 No.802981607 get your priorities straight. Fix up your s------- of a minecraft house for f---- sake. That's why he left. >>802981826 #

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Anon is strong | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/14/22(Fri)11:26:12 No.870642332 >be me >be sat at work >really really want to just strip naked and dance round the office masturbating and spraying urine over evryone and everything >somehow manage to resist the urge >not sure how long I can hold out like 266 KB PNG this
: Anonymous 01/14/22(Fri)11:26:12 No.870642332 >be me >be sat at work >really really want to just strip naked and dance round the office masturbating and spraying urine over evryone and everything >somehow manage to resist the urge >not sure how long I can hold out like 266 KB PNG this

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Anon hates the British | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: AHS4×SCJ). The Malvinas should be given b(...) 01/14/22(Fri)10:09:42 No.356335741 Las Malvinas (erronously called the Falkland islands), is illegally owned by the UK currently. When are they going to give the island back to its rightful owners? 12,978 km ??? 403.5 km 251 KB PNG >used jew tactis asking indio and traitor neighbor pinoshit dictatorship chile for help >sent indians ghurkas to war, british are too p------ to fight themselves >help from usa in form of intelligence information, fuel, missiles, stockpiles and mortar shells >literally asking shitskin nations for help 78 Replies / 11 Images View Thread : Anonymous (ID: (W8lqUzZ) 01/14/22(Fri)12:03:04 No.356350686 >>356335741 (OP) # Seething, crying-s--- brown Argie Maggie Thatcher sank your bargie Mowed your troops down just like 229 KB JPG grass Kicked your cheeky Argie arse Bazza broke your father's nose Islas Malvinas? What are those?
: Anonymous (ID: AHS4×SCJ). The Malvinas should be given b(...) 01/14/22(Fri)10:09:42 No.356335741 Las Malvinas (erronously called the Falkland islands), is illegally owned by the UK currently. When are they going to give the island back to its rightful owners? 12,978 km ??? 403.5 km 251 KB PNG >used jew tactis asking indio and traitor neighbor pinoshit dictatorship chile for help >sent indians ghurkas to war, british are too p------ to fight themselves >help from usa in form of intelligence information, fuel, missiles, stockpiles and mortar shells >literally asking shitskin nations for help 78 Replies / 11 Images View Thread : Anonymous (ID: (W8lqUzZ) 01/14/22(Fri)12:03:04 No.356350686 >>356335741 (OP) # Seething, crying-s--- brown Argie Maggie Thatcher sank your bargie Mowed your troops down just like 229 KB JPG grass Kicked your cheeky Argie arse Bazza broke your father's nose Islas Malvinas? What are those?

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Anon wakes up | /r/Greentext


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Ye olde switcheroo | /r/Greentext


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Anon goes to homecoming | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/14/19(Mon)00:07:10 No.789958785 >Be me in highschool >Sunny day in January >Chilling in the cafeteria with my friends >7/10 girl from math walks up to me 34 KB JPG >She asks if I wanna go to homecoming with her >Get super excited and agree >She walks away >Why is homecoming in January? >Try to ask one of my friends when homecoming is >They dont answer >Wait no >Mfw I woke up
: Anonymous 01/14/19(Mon)00:07:10 No.789958785 >Be me in highschool >Sunny day in January >Chilling in the cafeteria with my friends >7/10 girl from math walks up to me 34 KB JPG >She asks if I wanna go to homecoming with her >Get super excited and agree >She walks away >Why is homecoming in January? >Try to ask one of my friends when homecoming is >They dont answer >Wait no >Mfw I woke up

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anon is autischad | /r/Greentext


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Anon has $1,000,000 | /r/Greentext


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We will never win | /r/Greentext


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Anon is poor | /r/Greentext


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Anon watches Smosh | /r/Greentext


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Anon Stops being a land whale. | /r/Greentext


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Anon ends up in a win-win situation | /r/Greentext


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Anon's mum needs to print something | /r/Greentext

File: pc 4 story jpg (5 KB, 253x199) Anonymous (ID: qsOVXED7 ) 09/14/14(Sun)13:59:27 No.568666427 [Reply] I have a story for you >my mom comes home after work >she needs to use the computer >the internet starts messing up and she gets mad >she calls me downstairs and asks me why its being slow >i told her to restart it >windows needs to update and it takes a while >after the incident she calls my old nanny and her best friend the "computer expert" >she shows her the issues and everything is working fine >she then tries to print something and it didnt work >she gets upset and i offer help >"YOU DONT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING. YOU BROKE THIS WITH YOUR GAMES!" > i told her i got the games through steam and that was impossible >Our so called expert decides to wiegh in >"kid every time you download a game it has a virus. even on steam downloads are just links with malware" >i go upstairs because they are being retarded >they give up and say they will fix it tomorrow >i go downstairs and the printer was just out of ink and that is how i lost faith in humanity
File: pc 4 story jpg (5 KB, 253x199) Anonymous (ID: qsOVXED7 ) 09/14/14(Sun)13:59:27 No.568666427 [Reply] I have a story for you >my mom comes home after work >she needs to use the computer >the internet starts messing up and she gets mad >she calls me downstairs and asks me why its being slow >i told her to restart it >windows needs to update and it takes a while >after the incident she calls my old nanny and her best friend the "computer expert" >she shows her the issues and everything is working fine >she then tries to print something and it didnt work >she gets upset and i offer help >"YOU DONT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING. YOU BROKE THIS WITH YOUR GAMES!" > i told her i got the games through steam and that was impossible >Our so called expert decides to wiegh in >"kid every time you download a game it has a virus. even on steam downloads are just links with malware" >i go upstairs because they are being retarded >they give up and say they will fix it tomorrow >i go downstairs and the printer was just out of ink and that is how i lost faith in humanity

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Anon calls a sex line. | /r/Greentext

1• #752755361 12/2/17, 8:32 PM >Decide to call a sex line today >Girl with a really sweet voice picks up >Ask her what she's wearing, etc, etc. >She tells me that she's in college >She mentions that there are a lot of communists and SJW's at her school >End up spending about 40 minutes talking about how SJW's suck and how communism will never work off of paper I jacked off the whole time, but I was honestly more interested in the conversation
1• #752755361 12/2/17, 8:32 PM >Decide to call a sex line today >Girl with a really sweet voice picks up >Ask her what she's wearing, etc, etc. >She tells me that she's in college >She mentions that there are a lot of communists and SJW's at her school >End up spending about 40 minutes talking about how SJW's suck and how communism will never work off of paper I jacked off the whole time, but I was honestly more interested in the conversation

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