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Anon is Edgar Allan Poe | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: miuDQCso) 12/08/19(Sun)10:02:09 No.235544335 Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary, over many a quaint and curious profile of a tinder w---- while I read it, nearly swiping, suddenly I spied her typing "Kids? Still want them!" starts the griping, "even 122 KB JPG though I'm 44" "Tis impossible," I muttered "having kids at 44" Chance of offspring: nevermore >>235544846 # >>235545117 # >>235546408 # >>235547541 # >>235548662 # >>235552925 # >>235557647 # >>235557957 # imgfilip.com
: Anonymous (ID: miuDQCso) 12/08/19(Sun)10:02:09 No.235544335 Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary, over many a quaint and curious profile of a tinder w---- while I read it, nearly swiping, suddenly I spied her typing "Kids? Still want them!" starts the griping, "even 122 KB JPG though I'm 44" "Tis impossible," I muttered "having kids at 44" Chance of offspring: nevermore >>235544846 # >>235545117 # >>235546408 # >>235547541 # >>235548662 # >>235552925 # >>235557647 # >>235557957 # imgfilip.com

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anon is musican | /r/Greentext


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gamers in a nutshell? not mine but thought it belongs here | /r/Greentext

1607397557617.png 58 KB PNG >win game >feel nothing >lose game >day ruined
1607397557617.png 58 KB PNG >win game >feel nothing >lose game >day ruined

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Anon discovers masturbation | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/01/18(Tue)01:46:12 No.767319186 Aight f--- i got one for you >be me, 5 >in bed with my dad cause renovating >ask dad what he dreams about Erection in progress >"hot girls, anon" >suddenly get erection for some reason >dont know what an erection is 15 KB JPG >go to bathroom to pee >rub my d--- by accident >feelsgoodman.jpg >fast forward 2 days >watching fashiontv for some reason >get erect >everyone around me >pulls out d--- and start rubbing it >orgasm >no c-- cause 5 >mom notices and screams "ANON WHAT ARE YOU DOING" >gets beaten >fast forward a few years >discovers what m----------- and erection are >mfw i remember jerking off in front of parents So hows it going /b/
: Anonymous 05/01/18(Tue)01:46:12 No.767319186 Aight f--- i got one for you >be me, 5 >in bed with my dad cause renovating >ask dad what he dreams about Erection in progress >"hot girls, anon" >suddenly get erection for some reason >dont know what an erection is 15 KB JPG >go to bathroom to pee >rub my d--- by accident >feelsgoodman.jpg >fast forward 2 days >watching fashiontv for some reason >get erect >everyone around me >pulls out d--- and start rubbing it >orgasm >no c-- cause 5 >mom notices and screams "ANON WHAT ARE YOU DOING" >gets beaten >fast forward a few years >discovers what m----------- and erection are >mfw i remember jerking off in front of parents So hows it going /b/

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I fucking hate zoomers | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/11/21(Tue)17:15:05 No.854186812 Zoomers >lets goooo >finna >no cap >vibing 103 KB JPG >rn >fr >ion 42 Replies / 9 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 05/11/21(Tue)17:15:05 No.854186812 Zoomers >lets goooo >finna >no cap >vibing 103 KB JPG >rn >fr >ion 42 Replies / 9 Images View Thread

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can anon do it. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/05/22(Wed)23:27:32 No.870035903 Let's turn "NFT" into a racial slur against black people, I think we should do this for the following reasons: -"NFT" starts with the letter N -NFTS are commonly associated with monkeys (most NFT memes involve a monkey of some kind and a lot of NFTS 20 KB JPG are just monkey drawings) -Black people used to be traded as property FINALLY AND MOST IMPORTANTLY: It would make all the people trying to get rich off of this s--- (especially celebs and influencers) really really f------ mad Let's do it bros 2 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 01/05/22(Wed)23:27:32 No.870035903 Let's turn "NFT" into a racial slur against black people, I think we should do this for the following reasons: -"NFT" starts with the letter N -NFTS are commonly associated with monkeys (most NFT memes involve a monkey of some kind and a lot of NFTS 20 KB JPG are just monkey drawings) -Black people used to be traded as property FINALLY AND MOST IMPORTANTLY: It would make all the people trying to get rich off of this s--- (especially celebs and influencers) really really f------ mad Let's do it bros 2 Replies View Thread

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Let the bodies hit the floor | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/26/21(Thu)10:03:09 No.65138040 stay hydrated >exercise for the first time in five or six years >can't move this is a threat >actually can't move and it isn't a joke >pleadingly look at the people around the gym and squirm on the floor 624 КВ PNG >blood sugar is low >l faint >l wake up a half hour later in the same spot >barely get on my feet >stumble out of the gym
: Anonymous 08/26/21(Thu)10:03:09 No.65138040 stay hydrated >exercise for the first time in five or six years >can't move this is a threat >actually can't move and it isn't a joke >pleadingly look at the people around the gym and squirm on the floor 624 КВ PNG >blood sugar is low >l faint >l wake up a half hour later in the same spot >barely get on my feet >stumble out of the gym

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Anon in army | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/15/21(Fri)19:24:49 No.65773140 BORN TO FEEV >be me >Austrian, so mandatory military service >at physical exam >doctor asks me if I am in a relationship (obviously no) >"Why not? You are a handsome 70 KB JPG young man!" >"You want my number?" >She sends me out >A few mins later the officer comes and shouts at me that I "sexually harrassed the doctor"
: Anonymous 10/15/21(Fri)19:24:49 No.65773140 BORN TO FEEV >be me >Austrian, so mandatory military service >at physical exam >doctor asks me if I am in a relationship (obviously no) >"Why not? You are a handsome 70 KB JPG young man!" >"You want my number?" >She sends me out >A few mins later the officer comes and shouts at me that I "sexually harrassed the doctor"

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Anon’s brother teaches history | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: CYaRgWDp 07/28/17(Fri)08:3 >>135275894 >>135276090 >>135276165 >>135277069 >>135278 >>135286564 >>135286951 >>135289136 >>135289396 >>135290 >Brother is a history teacher for kids in 5th grade >Told me he brought up 9/11 to his class >Said kids went instantly insane >They didn't know it was real >One kid said he thought it was just a meme
Anonymous (ID: CYaRgWDp 07/28/17(Fri)08:3 >>135275894 >>135276090 >>135276165 >>135277069 >>135278 >>135286564 >>135286951 >>135289136 >>135289396 >>135290 >Brother is a history teacher for kids in 5th grade >Told me he brought up 9/11 to his class >Said kids went instantly insane >They didn't know it was real >One kid said he thought it was just a meme

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Anon gets what he deserves | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/08/21(Mon)19:01:23 No.62658503 >finish c-------- >drop it in can >mfw it's the soda I just walked into the kitchen to get 33 KB JPG : Anonymous 03/08/21(Mon)20:36:36 No.62659783 Smoking inside is gross and you deserve this.
: Anonymous 03/08/21(Mon)19:01:23 No.62658503 >finish c-------- >drop it in can >mfw it's the soda I just walked into the kitchen to get 33 KB JPG : Anonymous 03/08/21(Mon)20:36:36 No.62659783 Smoking inside is gross and you deserve this.

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Anon has a plan b | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/07/22(Fri)02:01:16 No.870157656 Hey /b/ Just wondering if you guys had any plan b's outside of suicide in case life doesn't go the way you want it too 7 KB JPG : Anonymous 01/07/22(Fri)02:14:18 No.870158139 School shooter
: Anonymous 01/07/22(Fri)02:01:16 No.870157656 Hey /b/ Just wondering if you guys had any plan b's outside of suicide in case life doesn't go the way you want it too 7 KB JPG : Anonymous 01/07/22(Fri)02:14:18 No.870158139 School shooter

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Anon's name is Tyrone | /r/Greentext


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Anon is in pain | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 50011631 3 hr ago >be me >born in january first '96 >have no friends or family, just people at my job in a store but they don't like me >mom died in a car accident and dad died during an robbery >all alone in the world >every year i buy an birthday cake at dec/31 >let it on me bedroom and go to sleep >when everyone starts to light fireworks i pretend that they are my friends and they all are cheering for my birthday 82.1 kB PNG will the pain ever cease, anons?
Anonymous | 50011631 3 hr ago >be me >born in january first '96 >have no friends or family, just people at my job in a store but they don't like me >mom died in a car accident and dad died during an robbery >all alone in the world >every year i buy an birthday cake at dec/31 >let it on me bedroom and go to sleep >when everyone starts to light fireworks i pretend that they are my friends and they all are cheering for my birthday 82.1 kB PNG will the pain ever cease, anons?

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Anon is a chad. | /r/Greentext

>be me >13 >social outcast with no social skills who everyone makes fun of >at a school party >everyone's dancing, I just awkwardly stand there >a stacy from my class comes up 42 KB JPG to me >asks me to dance with a smug look on her face >autism kicks in >just stand there and stare at her for a solid 5 seconds >then just turn and walk the other way as fast as I can >next day in class >overhear the girl talking with her friends >hear her say that her plan was to embarass me but got embarrassed herself for being rejected by such a lowlife >mfw my autism inadvertently made me look like a chad >take that stacy
>be me >13 >social outcast with no social skills who everyone makes fun of >at a school party >everyone's dancing, I just awkwardly stand there >a stacy from my class comes up 42 KB JPG to me >asks me to dance with a smug look on her face >autism kicks in >just stand there and stare at her for a solid 5 seconds >then just turn and walk the other way as fast as I can >next day in class >overhear the girl talking with her friends >hear her say that her plan was to embarass me but got embarrassed herself for being rejected by such a lowlife >mfw my autism inadvertently made me look like a chad >take that stacy

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Anon dies peacefully | /r/Greentext


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Don't do it bros | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/16/21(Fri)01:07:26 No.4517231C >Be paramedic >Seen dozens of suicides in the last 8 years >The reactions of the loved ones are always bad 169 KB JPG >None is ever worse than a dad loosing his son There is not a thing in this world that is more depressing sounding than a man sobbing while clutching his sons lifeless body. I remember one who killed himself by shotgun slug after he came back from Iraq. There was nothing left of him, and his father got home just as we were getting ready to leave. I couldn't let him see, so I stood there and just didn't let him through. He went downstairs to the basement and clutched his sons old baseball glove, rocking back and forth, just saying "papas here, buddy, papas here." Don't do it anons. >>45172699 #
: Anonymous 03/16/21(Fri)01:07:26 No.4517231C >Be paramedic >Seen dozens of suicides in the last 8 years >The reactions of the loved ones are always bad 169 KB JPG >None is ever worse than a dad loosing his son There is not a thing in this world that is more depressing sounding than a man sobbing while clutching his sons lifeless body. I remember one who killed himself by shotgun slug after he came back from Iraq. There was nothing left of him, and his father got home just as we were getting ready to leave. I couldn't let him see, so I stood there and just didn't let him through. He went downstairs to the basement and clutched his sons old baseball glove, rocking back and forth, just saying "papas here, buddy, papas here." Don't do it anons. >>45172699 #

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Anon tries to sleep | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/24/18(Wed)21:18:09 No.48899955 >go on computer >falling asleep from tiredness >try to go to sleep >feel as awake as I do in the middle of the day Anyone else know this feel? 21 KB PNG 3 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 10/24/18(Wed)21:18:09 No.48899955 >go on computer >falling asleep from tiredness >try to go to sleep >feel as awake as I do in the middle of the day Anyone else know this feel? 21 KB PNG 3 Replies View Thread

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Anon is slow tard | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 50120427 2 min. ago >be me >16 years old >cute girl from class sends me a message >"hey, anon, I've got two tickets to this comedy show, would you like to..." 66.3 kB PNG >thinking she wants to sell them to me >"oh, no thanks, I don't really like these guys" > oh... okay, sorry >more than 4 years later >lying in bed unable to sleep >finally realise what she meant >mfw
Anonymous | 50120427 2 min. ago >be me >16 years old >cute girl from class sends me a message >"hey, anon, I've got two tickets to this comedy show, would you like to..." 66.3 kB PNG >thinking she wants to sell them to me >"oh, no thanks, I don't really like these guys" > oh... okay, sorry >more than 4 years later >lying in bed unable to sleep >finally realise what she meant >mfw

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Anon Owns An Art Page | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/25/18(Thu)13:44:53 No.783244436 >be me >M18 >own an art page >everyone I went to high school with wants my art >make $10-$35 per commission >$450 and counting generated 12 KB JPG >Mum sees me counting my cash >"It must be your artistic skills, Anon. You are making money off of your art!" >she is proud of me now Thanksgiving Day. >at my chill af aunt's big ass house >Mum tells her sisters I am making so much cash off of my art >one of them wants to see it >her 18 y/o daughter brings in the commission I made for her >shows it to my aunt >ohfuck.jpg A soccer mother sees my X------ content. >calls me a sellout I am just sitting in my chair emotionless. >Mum and I left the house while her sisters are having an argument In my room. >just sitting emotionless again >Mum walks in >tells me that she has seen my art is fire af >then hands me $50 >for a landscape poster of bootylicious trap versions of me and my friends in one-piece swimsuits Moral of the story: your mother better be supporting you or else your ass is grass.
: Anonymous 10/25/18(Thu)13:44:53 No.783244436 >be me >M18 >own an art page >everyone I went to high school with wants my art >make $10-$35 per commission >$450 and counting generated 12 KB JPG >Mum sees me counting my cash >"It must be your artistic skills, Anon. You are making money off of your art!" >she is proud of me now Thanksgiving Day. >at my chill af aunt's big ass house >Mum tells her sisters I am making so much cash off of my art >one of them wants to see it >her 18 y/o daughter brings in the commission I made for her >shows it to my aunt >ohfuck.jpg A soccer mother sees my X------ content. >calls me a sellout I am just sitting in my chair emotionless. >Mum and I left the house while her sisters are having an argument In my room. >just sitting emotionless again >Mum walks in >tells me that she has seen my art is fire af >then hands me $50 >for a landscape poster of bootylicious trap versions of me and my friends in one-piece swimsuits Moral of the story: your mother better be supporting you or else your ass is grass.

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Losing the V-card | /r/Greentext


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