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anon has no soul | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: UBJI06A9) EE 03/28/21(Sun)10:53:44 No.314055710 Why is p--- "free"? 1.33 MB GIF : Anonymous (ID: ERMIQL5) 03/28/21(Sun)10:55:40 No.314055923 You pay with your soul. >>314056253 # >»314056324 # >>314056358 # >>314056703 # >>314056805 # >>314056930 # >>314058051 # >>314058688 # >>314059313 # »314060353 # >>314060464 # >>314061625 # >>314062131 # >>314065229 # >>314067383 # >>314069964 # >314070646 # >314070660 # >>314071345 # >>314072426 # >>314073708 # »314074561 # >>314076275 # >>314077770 # >>314077773 # >>314078918 # >>314079854 # >>314080244 #
: Anonymous (ID: UBJI06A9) EE 03/28/21(Sun)10:53:44 No.314055710 Why is p--- "free"? 1.33 MB GIF : Anonymous (ID: ERMIQL5) 03/28/21(Sun)10:55:40 No.314055923 You pay with your soul. >>314056253 # >»314056324 # >>314056358 # >>314056703 # >>314056805 # >>314056930 # >>314058051 # >>314058688 # >>314059313 # »314060353 # >>314060464 # >>314061625 # >>314062131 # >>314065229 # >>314067383 # >>314069964 # >314070646 # >314070660 # >>314071345 # >>314072426 # >>314073708 # »314074561 # >>314076275 # >>314077770 # >>314077773 # >>314078918 # >>314079854 # >>314080244 #

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Anon is a jerk off | /r/Greentext

| Anonymous 11/05/16(Sat)03:24:29 No.71060352 So I've been c------ in my roommates girlfriend's body wash because they're annoying as f---. For like two months, jerk it in the shower, open the pump, dump it in, and give it a good shake. 14 KB JPG He just told me her period was super late so they took a pregnancy test and she's knocked up. He said "I trust her, I guess a condom ripped or idk" and they're going to raise it. We have a year on the lease. Problem is, I'm Greek and they're white as f---. What are the chances I'm a dad? : Anonymous 11/05/16(Sat)03:25:48 No.710603604 what the f--- is wrong with you >>710603671 # >>710604623 #
| Anonymous 11/05/16(Sat)03:24:29 No.71060352 So I've been c------ in my roommates girlfriend's body wash because they're annoying as f---. For like two months, jerk it in the shower, open the pump, dump it in, and give it a good shake. 14 KB JPG He just told me her period was super late so they took a pregnancy test and she's knocked up. He said "I trust her, I guess a condom ripped or idk" and they're going to raise it. We have a year on the lease. Problem is, I'm Greek and they're white as f---. What are the chances I'm a dad? : Anonymous 11/05/16(Sat)03:25:48 No.710603604 what the f--- is wrong with you >>710603671 # >>710604623 #

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Anon can't get a girlfriend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/02/22(Sun)11:32:45 No.66815095 >think I'm not successful enough to get a girl >have my own place but a boring, unskilled job >unemployed people gets gfs >that's not it 15 KB PNG >think I'm too ugly to get a gf >ugly people gets gfs too >that's not it >think I'm not fit enough to get a gf >fat f---- gets gfs too >that's not it >only have introverted hobbies and think I'm too boring to get a gf >people that just sit around and watch TV gets gfs >that's not it WHAT THE F--- IS WRONG WITH MEEEEEEE
: Anonymous 01/02/22(Sun)11:32:45 No.66815095 >think I'm not successful enough to get a girl >have my own place but a boring, unskilled job >unemployed people gets gfs >that's not it 15 KB PNG >think I'm too ugly to get a gf >ugly people gets gfs too >that's not it >think I'm not fit enough to get a gf >fat f---- gets gfs too >that's not it >only have introverted hobbies and think I'm too boring to get a gf >people that just sit around and watch TV gets gfs >that's not it WHAT THE F--- IS WRONG WITH MEEEEEEE

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anon gets fish | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/14/21(Sun)21:25:35 No.849599313 >Dad left when I was 12yo >l'm now 36yo >Calls me every 3 months or so to ask if I want fish >lf I say yes he drops by and gives me a frozen fish I think my dad has autism. 13 KB JPG
Anonymous 03/14/21(Sun)21:25:35 No.849599313 >Dad left when I was 12yo >l'm now 36yo >Calls me every 3 months or so to ask if I want fish >lf I say yes he drops by and gives me a frozen fish I think my dad has autism. 13 KB JPG

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Anon knows how to cook with gas | /r/Greentext

png (19 KB, 123x117) I f----- up No.46975740 Anonymous 33 sec. ago So I may have humiliated myself and my mother in front of 20 or so people. >be me 19 neet who's only kept around because I can cook >mum has large party happening. Anniversary of something or some s---. >mum asks me to make a chicken parm bake with my little sister but to let her do the majority >fuckit.idontcare >the entire time she is asking f------ questions that she has no intent on getting answers to >doesn't even know how to preheat an oven >eventually i reach my wits end and just f------ screech "MISSY DO I HAVE TO DIG UP HITLER JUST TO SHOW YOU HOW TA USE A F------ OVEN?" entire house heard this btw. I have a booming voice >mfw my mother slapped me and my sister ran off crying >mfw I still need to finish the chicken bake because I don't want to waste chicken >mfw instead of fixing s--- I came here
png (19 KB, 123x117) I f----- up No.46975740 Anonymous 33 sec. ago So I may have humiliated myself and my mother in front of 20 or so people. >be me 19 neet who's only kept around because I can cook >mum has large party happening. Anniversary of something or some s---. >mum asks me to make a chicken parm bake with my little sister but to let her do the majority >fuckit.idontcare >the entire time she is asking f------ questions that she has no intent on getting answers to >doesn't even know how to preheat an oven >eventually i reach my wits end and just f------ screech "MISSY DO I HAVE TO DIG UP HITLER JUST TO SHOW YOU HOW TA USE A F------ OVEN?" entire house heard this btw. I have a booming voice >mfw my mother slapped me and my sister ran off crying >mfw I still need to finish the chicken bake because I don't want to waste chicken >mfw instead of fixing s--- I came here

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Anon has an epiphany | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)08:18:56 No.62001152 Anyone else probably gonna die a virgin because you refuse to settle for the fat/ugly easy girls? I'm just not even interested in anything less than a qt, or at least a chubby girl with sexy fat distribution and a decent face. 84 KB JPG : Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)08:21:17 No.62001180 >>62001152 (OP) # >applies reverse logic >realises women will never settle for him 23 KB PNG tfw
: Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)08:18:56 No.62001152 Anyone else probably gonna die a virgin because you refuse to settle for the fat/ugly easy girls? I'm just not even interested in anything less than a qt, or at least a chubby girl with sexy fat distribution and a decent face. 84 KB JPG : Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)08:21:17 No.62001180 >>62001152 (OP) # >applies reverse logic >realises women will never settle for him 23 KB PNG tfw

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Anon forgot | /r/Greentext

H--------, do I have a story for you. Happened yesterday, but finally writing this out. >many moons ago I was in college >met girl through friends who was just so mundane and forgettable. 158 KB JPG >introduce myself >l keep "meeting" her because she was so f------ plain and boring I would forget her >girl gets p----- everytime I "introduce myself" >girl gets complex over it because she's "generic white girl #4" >l don't help it at all as throughout the 4 years I was in college, I could never remember this chick. >Graduated. Working for years in industry. >Business meeting with other departments, introduce myself to a really mundane and forgettable girl >This. Chick. FLIPS. OUT. >She attacks me infront of large group of peers and management. >She's restrained and security escorts her out screaming. Guys.. The last thing she said was "I bet you'll remember me now, you f-----!". I legit don't know what's wrong with me. Great way to start the 3-day weekend. : Anonymous 01/01/22(Sat)02:51:05 No.869720963 : Anonymous 01/01/22(Sat)02:52:51 No.869721058 : Anonymous 01/01/22(Sat)02:54:07 No.869721114 >>869720828 (OP) # Inb4 leddit screenshot
H--------, do I have a story for you. Happened yesterday, but finally writing this out. >many moons ago I was in college >met girl through friends who was just so mundane and forgettable. 158 KB JPG >introduce myself >l keep "meeting" her because she was so f------ plain and boring I would forget her >girl gets p----- everytime I "introduce myself" >girl gets complex over it because she's "generic white girl #4" >l don't help it at all as throughout the 4 years I was in college, I could never remember this chick. >Graduated. Working for years in industry. >Business meeting with other departments, introduce myself to a really mundane and forgettable girl >This. Chick. FLIPS. OUT. >She attacks me infront of large group of peers and management. >She's restrained and security escorts her out screaming. Guys.. The last thing she said was "I bet you'll remember me now, you f-----!". I legit don't know what's wrong with me. Great way to start the 3-day weekend. : Anonymous 01/01/22(Sat)02:51:05 No.869720963 : Anonymous 01/01/22(Sat)02:52:51 No.869721058 : Anonymous 01/01/22(Sat)02:54:07 No.869721114 >>869720828 (OP) # Inb4 leddit screenshot

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Anon is 6ix9ine in prison | /r/Greentext

TOMMY HILFICEP 918C6D05-AC64-4623-8A6B-276D8F8C2BE5.jpg 88 KB JPG PRISON IFFY UH SOAP GETTIN SLIPPY UH CELLMATE GOT THE STIFFY UH BOIHOLE GETTIN JIZZY UH | Anonymous 11/01/18(Thu)07:59:10 No.8373910 CUUUUUUMMMMM GAAAAANNNGGGGG
TOMMY HILFICEP 918C6D05-AC64-4623-8A6B-276D8F8C2BE5.jpg 88 KB JPG PRISON IFFY UH SOAP GETTIN SLIPPY UH CELLMATE GOT THE STIFFY UH BOIHOLE GETTIN JIZZY UH | Anonymous 11/01/18(Thu)07:59:10 No.8373910 CUUUUUUMMMMM GAAAAANNNGGGGG

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Anon’s cat is the best | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/12/19(Tue)20:46:04 No.792494021 >be me, 17f and in treatmen and recovery from r--- >walking through petco to pick up crickets for my friends pet lizard >lock eyes with this cat in the adoption area >she presses her paw up to the 570 KB JPG glass >cryinginpublic.jpg >l impulsively adopt her >two months later, sucidal thoughts almost nonexistent and able to talk to strangers again >cat is my best friend, she never leaves my side when I'm home and encourages me to get out of bed in the morning Don't forget to give your pet a hug today
: Anonymous 02/12/19(Tue)20:46:04 No.792494021 >be me, 17f and in treatmen and recovery from r--- >walking through petco to pick up crickets for my friends pet lizard >lock eyes with this cat in the adoption area >she presses her paw up to the 570 KB JPG glass >cryinginpublic.jpg >l impulsively adopt her >two months later, sucidal thoughts almost nonexistent and able to talk to strangers again >cat is my best friend, she never leaves my side when I'm home and encourages me to get out of bed in the morning Don't forget to give your pet a hug today

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Anon has a psychotic episode. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous No.622798957 17 minutes ago I once pretended to have a psychotic episode and smashed a macbook with a bat to keep my brother and his fiancee from stumbling across pictures I photoshopped of her giving birth to me. 6 replies
Anonymous No.622798957 17 minutes ago I once pretended to have a psychotic episode and smashed a macbook with a bat to keep my brother and his fiancee from stumbling across pictures I photoshopped of her giving birth to me. 6 replies

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Anon has an aneurysm | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/12/13(Fri)14:30:26 No.199598329 [▼] >>199598406 >>199598453 >>199598534 >>199598550 >>199598573 >>199598658 >>199598719 >>199598727 >>199598815 >>199598938 >>199599198 >>199599272 >>199599359 >>199599453 >>199599572 >>199599590 >>199599702 >>199599915 >>199600141 >>199600235 >>199600503 >>199601595 >>199598245 (OP) Nl is now 90% comprised of f------ who have been lurking for less than a year. You seriously expecou4hy4tujj43e I Anonymous 07/12/13(Fri)14:31:27 No.199598406 [▼] images (1).jpg (8 KB, 275x183) sounds google iqdb >>199598329 a-a-anon? Anonymous 07/12/13(Fri)14:35:46 No.199598815 [▼] 1368271761002. png (8 KB, 164x268) sounds google igdb I Anonymous 07/12/13(Fri)14:32:52 No.199598534 [▼] oh s--- n----.jpg (6 KB, 182x276) sounds google igdb >>199598329 Are you alright? Anonymous 07/12/13(Fri)14:33:05 No.199598550 [▼] >>199598329 I think he just had a brain haemorrhage >>199598329 de stroke I Anonymous 07/12/13(Fri)14:34:51 No.199598719 [▼] 1371049130000.png (54 KB, 293x328) sounds google iqdb Anonymous 07/12/13(Fri)14:33:22 No.199598! bark no you don't understand.jpg (35 KB, 604x4 Anonymous 07/12/13(Fri)14:42:46 No.199599453 [▼] 1332535086288.png (91 KB, 299x288) sounds google iqdb >>199598329 >>199598329 Anon are you alright?! it a sec are u trying to cheat me again >>199598329 Did you just..did you.. are you okay anon??? Anonymous 07/12/13(Fri)14:31:59 No I Anonymous 07/12/13(Fri)14 Did he just die? >>199598329 >You seriously expecou4hy4tujj43e Well what the f--- just happened here? >>199598329 >You seriously expecou4hy4tujj43e F---, I have no idea if that anon is being serious or not, but I once fainted while on 4chan my head mustve hit the keyboard because when I woke up I was still in the thread and posted a bunch of gibberish. Everyone thought I was faking when I apparently had stroke Anonymous 07/12/13(Fri)14:41:52 No.199599359 [▼] >>199599503 Anonymous 07/12/13(Fri)14:40:52 No.199599272 [▼] wfuh.jpg (7 KB, 259x194) sounds google iqdb >>199598329 I seriously think he had a stroke. I've almost blacked out while browsing 4chan. And it's not farfetched that he typed the captcha first >>199598329 He had a stroke Sh-sh-should we call the ambulance His heart was going nuts He grabbed his chest and with his last breath entered captcha and clicked submit Anonymous 07/12/13(Fri)14:44:00 No.199599590 [] >>199599647 >>199599707 >>199599896 >>199598329 WHO CLICKED THE SUBMIT BUTTON THE PEOPLE MUST KNOW Anonymous 07/12/13(Fri)15:04:05 No.199601595 [▼] Anonymous 07/12/13(Fri)14:50:37 No.199600235 [▼] Anonymous 07/12/13(Fri)14:47:38 No.199599915 [▼] >>19959 a.aaa-Oh-S---.jpg (23 KB, 340x255) sounds google iqdb >>199598329 THE FBI STOPPED HIM >>199599974 >l've been browsing for a little over a year now. And because I browse quite frequently >>199598329 Should we call the dentist? It's people like you that killed anon: >>199598329 Anonymous 07/12/13(Fri)14:45:32 No.199599707[7] Anonymous 07/12/13(Fri)14:37:05 No.199598938 [▼] >>199599016 >>199599159 >>199599198 >>199599559 >>199601292 >>199601360 OH, S--- >>199599590 All you have to do is press enter. Here is my theory >>199598329 Imagine if you were human and you actually have a stroke and die while browsing 4chan. >Anon is either a gold member or entered the captcha beforehand >was halfway through typing message >stroke or fainted And when the police come, they see what you were shitposting. That would be terrifying >head hit the keyboard >twitched or rolled around a bit I Anonymous 07/12/13(Fri)14:43:44 No.199599559 [▼] scared.png (151 KB, 421x500) sounds google iqdb >hits enter >>199598938 >Imagine if you were human SCARED Are you saying you arent? I Anonymous 07/12/13(Fri)14:49:47 No.199600141[v] >>199600242 >>199600361 >>199600382 >>199600458 >>199600538 >>199601187>>199602014 >>199598329 Okay, I was typing this and all of a sudden I wake up with a nose bleed. Should I go to the hospital? Anonymous 07/12/13(Fri)14:53:29 No.199600538 [▼] >>199600774 >>199600141 Post pictures of bloosy nose soo we know it's not b------- I Anonymous 07/12/13(Fri)14:55:41 No.199600774 [ v] >>199600993 >>199601068 >>199600538 okay, i only have the blood that's on the floor that i need to clean up hang on I Anonymous 07/12/13(Fri)14:57:58 No.199600993 [▼] >>199601083 >>199601116 >>199601118 >>199601137 >>199601148 >>199601153 >>199601207 >>199601212 >>199601295 >>199601304 >>199601313 >>199601323 >>199601387 >>199601419 >>199601436 >>199601450 >>199601774 >>199601806 >>199601861 >>199602380 >>199602634 >>199602819 >>199602845 IMG3.png (747 KB, 551x531) sounds google iqdb >>199600774 Is it a lot of blood, /v/? Should I be worried? You've all scared me right now. Anonymous 07/12/13(Fri)14:58:54 No.199601083 [ ▼] Anonymous 07/12/13(Fri)14:59:25 No.199601137 [▼] bl.jpg (23 KB, 362x372) sounds google iqdb Anonymous 07/12/13(Fri)15:00:02 No.199601207 [▼] ohgodwhat.jpg (4 KB, 128x156) sounds google igdb 1312004841504.jpa (29 KB, 419x333) sounds google iqdb >>199600993 >>199600993 >>199600993 >>199600993 ------- -- ----- Anonymous 07/12/13(Fri)14:59:33 No.1996 >>199600993 Anonymous 07/12/13(Fri)14:59:15 No.19 >>199600993 Anonymous 07/12/13(Fri)15:29:35 No.199604189 [▼] HOSPITAL. NOW. F-------. Anonymous 07/12/13(Fri)14:59:16 No.199601118 [▼] >>199600993 PANIC traeger1.png (914 KB, 1365x818) sounds google iqdb You should probably go to hospital, or at least call. Anonymous 07/12/13(Fri)14:59:35 No.199601153 [▼] >>1996009 Anonymous 07/12/13(Fri)15:02:25 No.199601436 [▼] The Horror.png (63 KB, 239x188) sounds google iqdb >>199600993 What are you still doing here? That's an aneurysm I Anonymous 07/12/13(Fri)15:44:07 No.199605601 [v]>>199605657 >>199605707 >>199 >>199605882 >>199605917 >>199605929 tumblr_m4jybopGf01qzz0iu.jpg (19 KB, 500x367) sounds google iqdb Thing is, that's how I thought everyone who ever put time here would die. Made sense. >>199605289 Maybe the anon had a stroke of genius Anonymous 07/12/13(Fri)15:01:10 No.199601304 [▼] Anonymous 07/12/13(Fri)15:07:13 No.199601901 [▼] >>199600993 That's not blood, nice try. >>199601148 call 911, don't drive yourself DO NOT DRIVE YOURSELF TO THE HOSPITAL IF ANYTHING LIKE THIS EVER HAPPENS Anonymous 07/12/13(Fri)15:06:52 No.199601861 [▼] >>199602018 >>199602038 >>199600993 >newfaggots claiming this isnt blood >google backsearch brings up nothing Just go straight to the hospital Anonymous 07/12/13(Fri)15:16:20 No.199602819 [▼] >>199602945 >>199603017 >>199603581 >>199600993 This is definitely blood, coming from a med student I can tell you blood has different colors due to the fact of oxigen binding to hemoglobin and s---. Google this if you don't believe me, but this is definitely blood. Anonymous 07/12/13(Fri)14:53:16 No.199600503 [▼] >>199598329 anons last words, calling people f------ SEE YOU SPACE COWBOY ...
Anonymous 07/12/13(Fri)14:30:26 No.199598329 [▼] >>199598406 >>199598453 >>199598534 >>199598550 >>199598573 >>199598658 >>199598719 >>199598727 >>199598815 >>199598938 >>199599198 >>199599272 >>199599359 >>199599453 >>199599572 >>199599590 >>199599702 >>199599915 >>199600141 >>199600235 >>199600503 >>199601595 >>199598245 (OP) Nl is now 90% comprised of f------ who have been lurking for less than a year. You seriously expecou4hy4tujj43e I Anonymous 07/12/13(Fri)14:31:27 No.199598406 [▼] images (1).jpg (8 KB, 275x183) sounds google iqdb >>199598329 a-a-anon? Anonymous 07/12/13(Fri)14:35:46 No.199598815 [▼] 1368271761002. png (8 KB, 164x268) sounds google igdb I Anonymous 07/12/13(Fri)14:32:52 No.199598534 [▼] oh s--- n----.jpg (6 KB, 182x276) sounds google igdb >>199598329 Are you alright? Anonymous 07/12/13(Fri)14:33:05 No.199598550 [▼] >>199598329 I think he just had a brain haemorrhage >>199598329 de stroke I Anonymous 07/12/13(Fri)14:34:51 No.199598719 [▼] 1371049130000.png (54 KB, 293x328) sounds google iqdb Anonymous 07/12/13(Fri)14:33:22 No.199598! bark no you don't understand.jpg (35 KB, 604x4 Anonymous 07/12/13(Fri)14:42:46 No.199599453 [▼] 1332535086288.png (91 KB, 299x288) sounds google iqdb >>199598329 >>199598329 Anon are you alright?! it a sec are u trying to cheat me again >>199598329 Did you just..did you.. are you okay anon??? Anonymous 07/12/13(Fri)14:31:59 No I Anonymous 07/12/13(Fri)14 Did he just die? >>199598329 >You seriously expecou4hy4tujj43e Well what the f--- just happened here? >>199598329 >You seriously expecou4hy4tujj43e F---, I have no idea if that anon is being serious or not, but I once fainted while on 4chan my head mustve hit the keyboard because when I woke up I was still in the thread and posted a bunch of gibberish. Everyone thought I was faking when I apparently had stroke Anonymous 07/12/13(Fri)14:41:52 No.199599359 [▼] >>199599503 Anonymous 07/12/13(Fri)14:40:52 No.199599272 [▼] wfuh.jpg (7 KB, 259x194) sounds google iqdb >>199598329 I seriously think he had a stroke. I've almost blacked out while browsing 4chan. And it's not farfetched that he typed the captcha first >>199598329 He had a stroke Sh-sh-should we call the ambulance His heart was going nuts He grabbed his chest and with his last breath entered captcha and clicked submit Anonymous 07/12/13(Fri)14:44:00 No.199599590 [] >>199599647 >>199599707 >>199599896 >>199598329 WHO CLICKED THE SUBMIT BUTTON THE PEOPLE MUST KNOW Anonymous 07/12/13(Fri)15:04:05 No.199601595 [▼] Anonymous 07/12/13(Fri)14:50:37 No.199600235 [▼] Anonymous 07/12/13(Fri)14:47:38 No.199599915 [▼] >>19959 a.aaa-Oh-S---.jpg (23 KB, 340x255) sounds google iqdb >>199598329 THE FBI STOPPED HIM >>199599974 >l've been browsing for a little over a year now. And because I browse quite frequently >>199598329 Should we call the dentist? It's people like you that killed anon: >>199598329 Anonymous 07/12/13(Fri)14:45:32 No.199599707[7] Anonymous 07/12/13(Fri)14:37:05 No.199598938 [▼] >>199599016 >>199599159 >>199599198 >>199599559 >>199601292 >>199601360 OH, S--- >>199599590 All you have to do is press enter. Here is my theory >>199598329 Imagine if you were human and you actually have a stroke and die while browsing 4chan. >Anon is either a gold member or entered the captcha beforehand >was halfway through typing message >stroke or fainted And when the police come, they see what you were shitposting. That would be terrifying >head hit the keyboard >twitched or rolled around a bit I Anonymous 07/12/13(Fri)14:43:44 No.199599559 [▼] scared.png (151 KB, 421x500) sounds google iqdb >hits enter >>199598938 >Imagine if you were human SCARED Are you saying you arent? I Anonymous 07/12/13(Fri)14:49:47 No.199600141[v] >>199600242 >>199600361 >>199600382 >>199600458 >>199600538 >>199601187>>199602014 >>199598329 Okay, I was typing this and all of a sudden I wake up with a nose bleed. Should I go to the hospital? Anonymous 07/12/13(Fri)14:53:29 No.199600538 [▼] >>199600774 >>199600141 Post pictures of bloosy nose soo we know it's not b------- I Anonymous 07/12/13(Fri)14:55:41 No.199600774 [ v] >>199600993 >>199601068 >>199600538 okay, i only have the blood that's on the floor that i need to clean up hang on I Anonymous 07/12/13(Fri)14:57:58 No.199600993 [▼] >>199601083 >>199601116 >>199601118 >>199601137 >>199601148 >>199601153 >>199601207 >>199601212 >>199601295 >>199601304 >>199601313 >>199601323 >>199601387 >>199601419 >>199601436 >>199601450 >>199601774 >>199601806 >>199601861 >>199602380 >>199602634 >>199602819 >>199602845 IMG3.png (747 KB, 551x531) sounds google iqdb >>199600774 Is it a lot of blood, /v/? Should I be worried? You've all scared me right now. Anonymous 07/12/13(Fri)14:58:54 No.199601083 [ ▼] Anonymous 07/12/13(Fri)14:59:25 No.199601137 [▼] bl.jpg (23 KB, 362x372) sounds google iqdb Anonymous 07/12/13(Fri)15:00:02 No.199601207 [▼] ohgodwhat.jpg (4 KB, 128x156) sounds google igdb 1312004841504.jpa (29 KB, 419x333) sounds google iqdb >>199600993 >>199600993 >>199600993 >>199600993 ------- -- ----- Anonymous 07/12/13(Fri)14:59:33 No.1996 >>199600993 Anonymous 07/12/13(Fri)14:59:15 No.19 >>199600993 Anonymous 07/12/13(Fri)15:29:35 No.199604189 [▼] HOSPITAL. NOW. F-------. Anonymous 07/12/13(Fri)14:59:16 No.199601118 [▼] >>199600993 PANIC traeger1.png (914 KB, 1365x818) sounds google iqdb You should probably go to hospital, or at least call. Anonymous 07/12/13(Fri)14:59:35 No.199601153 [▼] >>1996009 Anonymous 07/12/13(Fri)15:02:25 No.199601436 [▼] The Horror.png (63 KB, 239x188) sounds google iqdb >>199600993 What are you still doing here? That's an aneurysm I Anonymous 07/12/13(Fri)15:44:07 No.199605601 [v]>>199605657 >>199605707 >>199 >>199605882 >>199605917 >>199605929 tumblr_m4jybopGf01qzz0iu.jpg (19 KB, 500x367) sounds google iqdb Thing is, that's how I thought everyone who ever put time here would die. Made sense. >>199605289 Maybe the anon had a stroke of genius Anonymous 07/12/13(Fri)15:01:10 No.199601304 [▼] Anonymous 07/12/13(Fri)15:07:13 No.199601901 [▼] >>199600993 That's not blood, nice try. >>199601148 call 911, don't drive yourself DO NOT DRIVE YOURSELF TO THE HOSPITAL IF ANYTHING LIKE THIS EVER HAPPENS Anonymous 07/12/13(Fri)15:06:52 No.199601861 [▼] >>199602018 >>199602038 >>199600993 >newfaggots claiming this isnt blood >google backsearch brings up nothing Just go straight to the hospital Anonymous 07/12/13(Fri)15:16:20 No.199602819 [▼] >>199602945 >>199603017 >>199603581 >>199600993 This is definitely blood, coming from a med student I can tell you blood has different colors due to the fact of oxigen binding to hemoglobin and s---. Google this if you don't believe me, but this is definitely blood. Anonymous 07/12/13(Fri)14:53:16 No.199600503 [▼] >>199598329 anons last words, calling people f------ SEE YOU SPACE COWBOY ...

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Anon becomes an instagram mom | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/01/22(Sat)17:23:28 No.869751457 >be moderately attractive white woman in early 20s >start an instagram page where you claim to be married with children and raising them with Jesus >bs story about how you met your husband in church and now have 7 children and counting >get 8 fake pregnancy bellies at different stages, wear one in every staged selfie and candid picture >post strategically angled pictures of your own nicely furnished apartment with long gushing captions about how nice it is your husband can pay for a big house for all of you and you can stay at home like the Bible says >post random bible verses and cooking recipes of whatever random European country you decided to arbitrarily claim ancestry from and translated with google translate >explain the lack of pictures of your fake husband and your fake children by claiming you -respect their privacy >don't show skin because of -modesty- but plenty of barefoot pics as a treat for the foot fetish dudes
Anonymous 01/01/22(Sat)17:23:28 No.869751457 >be moderately attractive white woman in early 20s >start an instagram page where you claim to be married with children and raising them with Jesus >bs story about how you met your husband in church and now have 7 children and counting >get 8 fake pregnancy bellies at different stages, wear one in every staged selfie and candid picture >post strategically angled pictures of your own nicely furnished apartment with long gushing captions about how nice it is your husband can pay for a big house for all of you and you can stay at home like the Bible says >post random bible verses and cooking recipes of whatever random European country you decided to arbitrarily claim ancestry from and translated with google translate >explain the lack of pictures of your fake husband and your fake children by claiming you -respect their privacy >don't show skin because of -modesty- but plenty of barefoot pics as a treat for the foot fetish dudes

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Anon gets criticized for his breakfast making strategy | /r/Greentext


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Plant Owner | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/01/22(Sat)13:18:14 No.66804949 >be me >have plant >dont give it water >watch it slowly die over time while i do nothing about it >mfw 908 KB PNG View Thread
: Anonymous 01/01/22(Sat)13:18:14 No.66804949 >be me >have plant >dont give it water >watch it slowly die over time while i do nothing about it >mfw 908 KB PNG View Thread

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Anon can't cry | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/01/22(Sat)20:16:02 No.869754426 >be me >never cried once besides from pain when i was young >not from movies >not from songs >not even from the death of my very close grandfather >i felt sad but never enough to 64 KB JPG make me cry >feel like s--- and a sociopath because of it fast forward several months >still feel like an empty sociopath >finds random album >supposed to be a sad album from what ive heard >by a literal black f----- tho >Imaowatthefuckisthis.avi >fast forward 45 minutes im on the floor sobbing like a p---- ass f----- >realization that not even the most sorrow of things that can happen to a person will make me cry but this gay ass album by a f----- does it in under an hour >feel like s--- again >mfw 2 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 01/01/22(Sat)20:16:02 No.869754426 >be me >never cried once besides from pain when i was young >not from movies >not from songs >not even from the death of my very close grandfather >i felt sad but never enough to 64 KB JPG make me cry >feel like s--- and a sociopath because of it fast forward several months >still feel like an empty sociopath >finds random album >supposed to be a sad album from what ive heard >by a literal black f----- tho >Imaowatthefuckisthis.avi >fast forward 45 minutes im on the floor sobbing like a p---- ass f----- >realization that not even the most sorrow of things that can happen to a person will make me cry but this gay ass album by a f----- does it in under an hour >feel like s--- again >mfw 2 Replies View Thread

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Another Story of Anon Meets Chad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/01/22(Sat)12:38:04 No.869758651 >be weak overweight slob, decide to get fit for 2022 >Go to gym, my very first exercise is bench. >next to me are some Chads and Zoomers, they snicker and laugh >Don't want to cry in front of them >Run into the locker room and start to pack up 73 KB PNG >Chad sees me, says he'll help me learn to bench >I smile, then he grabs me and yells "we're going to make those bitch t--- into rock hard pecs," slaps my bitch t---. >Then I notice his raging erection. UH_OH.exe >He whips his massive c--- out. He's sweaty from his workout. >He jams it down my throat and makes me suck it until I swallow his load >He yells "bitch t--- swallows," and all the Chads and Zoomers come running in. They all take turns face f------ me. >After that he takes me out to the gym and teaches me to bench. >Afterwards he says that he'll be there tomorrow for leg day, he will teach me to suck two at once and deadlift. >Are all gyms like this?
: Anonymous 01/01/22(Sat)12:38:04 No.869758651 >be weak overweight slob, decide to get fit for 2022 >Go to gym, my very first exercise is bench. >next to me are some Chads and Zoomers, they snicker and laugh >Don't want to cry in front of them >Run into the locker room and start to pack up 73 KB PNG >Chad sees me, says he'll help me learn to bench >I smile, then he grabs me and yells "we're going to make those bitch t--- into rock hard pecs," slaps my bitch t---. >Then I notice his raging erection. UH_OH.exe >He whips his massive c--- out. He's sweaty from his workout. >He jams it down my throat and makes me suck it until I swallow his load >He yells "bitch t--- swallows," and all the Chads and Zoomers come running in. They all take turns face f------ me. >After that he takes me out to the gym and teaches me to bench. >Afterwards he says that he'll be there tomorrow for leg day, he will teach me to suck two at once and deadlift. >Are all gyms like this?

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Anon meets cute girl | /r/Greentext

True story >Be me >Be 30 mins ago >Be virgin >Feelsbaman >Meet cute girl >Drive to girls house, watch some GOT and then we head up to her room >oHshit.avi 75.0 kB JPG >She starts kissing me >next thing i know im eating her out >Think about the stupid post where someone made a girl c-- by spelling out 'AyyLmao' on her vagina. >Laugh >Erection lost >Dosent come back Why did i loose my best opportunity to loose my virginity thanks to you f---.
True story >Be me >Be 30 mins ago >Be virgin >Feelsbaman >Meet cute girl >Drive to girls house, watch some GOT and then we head up to her room >oHshit.avi 75.0 kB JPG >She starts kissing me >next thing i know im eating her out >Think about the stupid post where someone made a girl c-- by spelling out 'AyyLmao' on her vagina. >Laugh >Erection lost >Dosent come back Why did i loose my best opportunity to loose my virginity thanks to you f---.

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Anon's Among Us experience is quite shrewd. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/21/20(Mon)15:38:16 No.525508738 >start game with friends >be one of the 2 imposters >kill first guy, friend watches me do it >rush to report the dead body and tell everyone that it was him >he tries to defend himself, butI keep cornering him >no one buys his story so he gets voted out >proceed to win the game because no one suspects me at this point >he's still angry at me for this I love this game
: Anonymous 09/21/20(Mon)15:38:16 No.525508738 >start game with friends >be one of the 2 imposters >kill first guy, friend watches me do it >rush to report the dead body and tell everyone that it was him >he tries to defend himself, butI keep cornering him >no one buys his story so he gets voted out >proceed to win the game because no one suspects me at this point >he's still angry at me for this I love this game

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Interesting... | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/27/21(Wed)12:22:34 No.542077390 >>542071209 (OP) # >the year is 2022 >gamestop market cap is now valued at 50 billion dollars >visit my local gamestop >the smell of urine, body odor and 111 KB JPG energy drink burps, no longer present in the air, instead replaced by a trail of petunias and daffodils leading to the revolving door entrance >leave my coat with the doorman and check myself in before walking into the air conditioned 2,000 square foot three story building with valet service >immediately greeted by the sounds of Vivaldi's Spring performed by the shop's string quartet on the way in >walk past the marble water fountains and roman pillars to the used blu-ray aisle >pick up a $3 copy of the classic Nicolas Cage film Drive Angry >guy in a tuxedo at the checkout puts on his white gloves and bags it for me while I enjoy a spoonful of complimentary caviar >sign up for the preorder list of Kerbal Space Program 2 and leave my signature in the guestbook >bellboy carries my bag for me to the entrance and wishes me a good evening
: Anonymous 01/27/21(Wed)12:22:34 No.542077390 >>542071209 (OP) # >the year is 2022 >gamestop market cap is now valued at 50 billion dollars >visit my local gamestop >the smell of urine, body odor and 111 KB JPG energy drink burps, no longer present in the air, instead replaced by a trail of petunias and daffodils leading to the revolving door entrance >leave my coat with the doorman and check myself in before walking into the air conditioned 2,000 square foot three story building with valet service >immediately greeted by the sounds of Vivaldi's Spring performed by the shop's string quartet on the way in >walk past the marble water fountains and roman pillars to the used blu-ray aisle >pick up a $3 copy of the classic Nicolas Cage film Drive Angry >guy in a tuxedo at the checkout puts on his white gloves and bags it for me while I enjoy a spoonful of complimentary caviar >sign up for the preorder list of Kerbal Space Program 2 and leave my signature in the guestbook >bellboy carries my bag for me to the entrance and wishes me a good evening

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Anon forgot where he was | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/02/21 (Thu)04:19:56 No.6638977 CAN YOU C---- GO ONE DAY WITHOUT POSTING P--- F------ 236 KB PNG
: Anonymous 12/02/21 (Thu)04:19:56 No.6638977 CAN YOU C---- GO ONE DAY WITHOUT POSTING P--- F------ 236 KB PNG

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