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Anon meets a Chad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/30/19(Sun)18:45:12 No.51382509 >first time in gym >my very first excercise is bench >next to me are some zoomers and wiggers >they snicker and say to themselves "This dude looks like he sits behind 11 KB JPG computer 24/7" >About to cry >make up some b------- like im thristy and go to toilets so i can pack and leave >Some dude stops me and say if he can use bench >It's m------------ Chad just like from the memes >say yea >Asks if i will spot him >0-okay >We start to talk he noticed im first timer in the gym >He teaches me lifts we talk for hour and for this whole hour it feels like im safe and protected >Mfw this chad says "see you tomorrow okay? I have leg day and i will t each you deadlifts" Is this how chads are? Is this how it feels to die for king? It felt like dream but it was all real. My king My liege WE WILL MAKE IT!
: Anonymous 06/30/19(Sun)18:45:12 No.51382509 >first time in gym >my very first excercise is bench >next to me are some zoomers and wiggers >they snicker and say to themselves "This dude looks like he sits behind 11 KB JPG computer 24/7" >About to cry >make up some b------- like im thristy and go to toilets so i can pack and leave >Some dude stops me and say if he can use bench >It's m------------ Chad just like from the memes >say yea >Asks if i will spot him >0-okay >We start to talk he noticed im first timer in the gym >He teaches me lifts we talk for hour and for this whole hour it feels like im safe and protected >Mfw this chad says "see you tomorrow okay? I have leg day and i will t each you deadlifts" Is this how chads are? Is this how it feels to die for king? It felt like dream but it was all real. My king My liege WE WILL MAKE IT!

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Anon is a freak | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/29/21(Sat)18:07:59 No.855618492 my girl died 8 days ago im still not over it help me /b/ 10 KB JPG 47 Replies / 8 Images View Thread : Anonymous 05/29/21(Sat)18:22:51 No.855619387 GEORGIA MAN KEPT DECEASED MOTHER IN >>855618492 (OP) # FREEZER FOR YEARS FOR "CASUAL SEX" >8 days ago still fesh 53 KB JPG
: Anonymous 05/29/21(Sat)18:07:59 No.855618492 my girl died 8 days ago im still not over it help me /b/ 10 KB JPG 47 Replies / 8 Images View Thread : Anonymous 05/29/21(Sat)18:22:51 No.855619387 GEORGIA MAN KEPT DECEASED MOTHER IN >>855618492 (OP) # FREEZER FOR YEARS FOR "CASUAL SEX" >8 days ago still fesh 53 KB JPG

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Rain, no shine | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/01/22(Sat)12:59:20 No.66811244 pepe-apu-raincoat-rain.gif 1.78 MB GIF >go to some silvester college party >drink liquid courage >chat with cute girls >"You look buff anon but sorry about that face" >other girls giggle >stand up and leave I feel defeated.
: Anonymous 01/01/22(Sat)12:59:20 No.66811244 pepe-apu-raincoat-rain.gif 1.78 MB GIF >go to some silvester college party >drink liquid courage >chat with cute girls >"You look buff anon but sorry about that face" >other girls giggle >stand up and leave I feel defeated.

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Anon finds a loophole | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/02/19(Wed)09:08:26 No.52625171 Just found a loop hole in the the system lads >be me >want steroids for quick gains >live in small town so I cant get them easily 21 KB PNG >hear about female to male hormone treatment >basically pure testosterone in a pill >idea.jpg >order a few months supply Muscle city here I come Anonymous 10/02/19(Wed)09:18:41 No.526 >>52625211 # Ya I'm trans alright. Male to alpha male >>52625279 # >>52625320 # >>52625346 # >>52625362 #
: Anonymous 10/02/19(Wed)09:08:26 No.52625171 Just found a loop hole in the the system lads >be me >want steroids for quick gains >live in small town so I cant get them easily 21 KB PNG >hear about female to male hormone treatment >basically pure testosterone in a pill >idea.jpg >order a few months supply Muscle city here I come Anonymous 10/02/19(Wed)09:18:41 No.526 >>52625211 # Ya I'm trans alright. Male to alpha male >>52625279 # >>52625320 # >>52625346 # >>52625362 #

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Anon enjoys christmas | /r/Greentext

>Be me around 7 years old >Big family, lots of aunts, uncles, 14 if you include aunts and uncles by marriage. Also something like 30 cousins >When you are a little kid it's hard to keep track of all the relationships. Important later 479 KB JPG >We have Christmas at our house. It's pure chaos with so many people >The kids used to keep their toys under the tree for a few days after Christmas >I got Grayskull Castle and a bunch of He-Man toys. A few nights after Christmas, I want to play with it. I sneak downstairs after everyone has gone to bed >l walk into the living room and my mom is down on all fours getting absolutely f----- by one of my uncles. >l freak out and run upstairs crying. My dad comes out. Anger.exe screaming.wav >My parents stay together, but we move away. >We still see some of our family, but never that uncle. We see my grandparents and my dad's family a lot. >When I'm older I sort of bring, “Dad, have you ever talked to your brother since we moved?" >Dad says, "anon I only have sisters" >MFW my mom was f------ her brother >MFW I look completely like my mom's side of the family and nothing like my dad's
>Be me around 7 years old >Big family, lots of aunts, uncles, 14 if you include aunts and uncles by marriage. Also something like 30 cousins >When you are a little kid it's hard to keep track of all the relationships. Important later 479 KB JPG >We have Christmas at our house. It's pure chaos with so many people >The kids used to keep their toys under the tree for a few days after Christmas >I got Grayskull Castle and a bunch of He-Man toys. A few nights after Christmas, I want to play with it. I sneak downstairs after everyone has gone to bed >l walk into the living room and my mom is down on all fours getting absolutely f----- by one of my uncles. >l freak out and run upstairs crying. My dad comes out. Anger.exe screaming.wav >My parents stay together, but we move away. >We still see some of our family, but never that uncle. We see my grandparents and my dad's family a lot. >When I'm older I sort of bring, “Dad, have you ever talked to your brother since we moved?" >Dad says, "anon I only have sisters" >MFW my mom was f------ her brother >MFW I look completely like my mom's side of the family and nothing like my dad's

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Anon worships the devil | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/01/22(Sat)12:08:38 No.869757248 GOD: >wants you to worship him all day every day. >tells you what you should and shouldn't do without context or any real reason. 66 KB GIF >will get jealous at the though of you worshipping another god. >sends himself down as a sacrifice to himself to appease himself so humanity doesn't have to face the wrath of himself. >gives you the option to believe in him, but if you don't he'll cast you into a fiery lake of pain for all eternity. >punishes job who is a loyal follower over a cheap bet. >he loves you SATAN: >never asks you to worship him. >redpills adam and eve in the garden of eden, which frees them from being mindless npc's. >looked like chad when he was an angel. >wants you to be able to do whatever you want to. >advocates and supports human pleasures. >his realm has all the celebrities, partiers, rockstars, who feared nothing. >has a f------ demon dog with badass horns. Who is the evil one again?
: Anonymous 01/01/22(Sat)12:08:38 No.869757248 GOD: >wants you to worship him all day every day. >tells you what you should and shouldn't do without context or any real reason. 66 KB GIF >will get jealous at the though of you worshipping another god. >sends himself down as a sacrifice to himself to appease himself so humanity doesn't have to face the wrath of himself. >gives you the option to believe in him, but if you don't he'll cast you into a fiery lake of pain for all eternity. >punishes job who is a loyal follower over a cheap bet. >he loves you SATAN: >never asks you to worship him. >redpills adam and eve in the garden of eden, which frees them from being mindless npc's. >looked like chad when he was an angel. >wants you to be able to do whatever you want to. >advocates and supports human pleasures. >his realm has all the celebrities, partiers, rockstars, who feared nothing. >has a f------ demon dog with badass horns. Who is the evil one again?

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Anon is jacked | /r/Greentext

>>46575716 # >be me >neighbour has heavily disabled son 2.98 MB PNG >l'm talking Steven hawkings levels of qaudraspazzed >outside gym master race >one day I'm lifting and he's in the neighbors garden >l'm benching my 1RM >here a noise >look up and see this little spazoid cheering and bobbing his head >now every time I lift he wheels himself out and cheers me on >mfw I now lift for him >>46575873 # >>46575916 # >>46575954 # >>46575963 # >>46576013 # >>46576043 # >>46576233 # >>46578453 # >>46578580 # >>46578865 # >>46582317 # >>46582488 # >>46582583 # >>46582599 #
>>46575716 # >be me >neighbour has heavily disabled son 2.98 MB PNG >l'm talking Steven hawkings levels of qaudraspazzed >outside gym master race >one day I'm lifting and he's in the neighbors garden >l'm benching my 1RM >here a noise >look up and see this little spazoid cheering and bobbing his head >now every time I lift he wheels himself out and cheers me on >mfw I now lift for him >>46575873 # >>46575916 # >>46575954 # >>46575963 # >>46576013 # >>46576043 # >>46576233 # >>46578453 # >>46578580 # >>46578865 # >>46582317 # >>46582488 # >>46582583 # >>46582599 #

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league of legends g*mer | /r/Greentext

1607397557617.png 58 KB PNG >win game >feel nothing >lose game >day ruined
1607397557617.png 58 KB PNG >win game >feel nothing >lose game >day ruined

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Anon fucked up | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/01/22(Sat)15:08:33 No.869776799 >be me >11 >on a school trip, ice skating >younger students were with us so the teachers said everyone assigns themselves to one younger kid to teach them ice skating iminchargenow.png 204 KB PNG >go talk to one girl >looked about 6 years old >we start ice skating and i teach her a bit of stuff >i am behind her as we slide with quite the high speed >she trips and falls over shitshitshitshit.png >am too fast to dodge so i try to look cool by lifting one leg and sliding past her with the leg over her >get stuck and fall over her >lie behind her, wondering what i hit >blood starts soaking into the ice below her i rammed the sharp tip of my ice skating shoes right into her f------ head >she's unconscious and i start freaking out >call for help >next moment i remember the ambulance is here >whole ice skating field gets closed down and all i see is the ambulance treating her as she's lying on the ice >am in complete shock >haunts me to this day All i remember is someone coming over to me and telling me that she is going to be fine, but i don't know if that was actually the case or if that was just to ease my panic a little bit
: Anonymous 01/01/22(Sat)15:08:33 No.869776799 >be me >11 >on a school trip, ice skating >younger students were with us so the teachers said everyone assigns themselves to one younger kid to teach them ice skating iminchargenow.png 204 KB PNG >go talk to one girl >looked about 6 years old >we start ice skating and i teach her a bit of stuff >i am behind her as we slide with quite the high speed >she trips and falls over shitshitshitshit.png >am too fast to dodge so i try to look cool by lifting one leg and sliding past her with the leg over her >get stuck and fall over her >lie behind her, wondering what i hit >blood starts soaking into the ice below her i rammed the sharp tip of my ice skating shoes right into her f------ head >she's unconscious and i start freaking out >call for help >next moment i remember the ambulance is here >whole ice skating field gets closed down and all i see is the ambulance treating her as she's lying on the ice >am in complete shock >haunts me to this day All i remember is someone coming over to me and telling me that she is going to be fine, but i don't know if that was actually the case or if that was just to ease my panic a little bit

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Nad i thought my name was bad | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 804835787 3 min. ago >be born >one shot at life >live in sweden >so far so good >parents name you svenjamin and thats where it goes to s--- 15.7 kB JPG REPLY
Anonymous | 804835787 3 min. ago >be born >one shot at life >live in sweden >so far so good >parents name you svenjamin and thats where it goes to s--- 15.7 kB JPG REPLY

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Anons friend orders tendies | /r/Greentext

I Anonymous 01/01/22(Sat)15:05:58 No.66806060 Tendies >Go to Denny's with friend >He orders the tendies >Half hour passes >Four year old child in the booth behind us orders the "chicken tenders" 58 KB JPG >Mention to friend that the child didn't say tendies He's seething
I Anonymous 01/01/22(Sat)15:05:58 No.66806060 Tendies >Go to Denny's with friend >He orders the tendies >Half hour passes >Four year old child in the booth behind us orders the "chicken tenders" 58 KB JPG >Mention to friend that the child didn't say tendies He's seething

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Broke? Cope. | /r/Greentext

E Anonymous 12/20/21(Mon)19:55:31 No.156851335 Paddington @paddingtonposts · 1d Walmart is adding some interesting new signs in the baby formula aisle Show this thread Security cameras in use. 15 Pack 8 Can't afford to feed your kids? Cope. F70A9FD6-A2F1-4B26-9497-5B1E013B8666.jpg 123 KB JPG >tfw these are real signs here now
E Anonymous 12/20/21(Mon)19:55:31 No.156851335 Paddington @paddingtonposts · 1d Walmart is adding some interesting new signs in the baby formula aisle Show this thread Security cameras in use. 15 Pack 8 Can't afford to feed your kids? Cope. F70A9FD6-A2F1-4B26-9497-5B1E013B8666.jpg 123 KB JPG >tfw these are real signs here now

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Anon doesn't want to be a weeb anymore | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/01/22(Sat)23:21:09 No.66807627 >be me >huge weeb >out of anime to watch and bored out of my mind >youtube recomened meThe Call of Chtulu's audiobook >it has a slow start but I decided to keep listening to it because I 17 KB PNG have nothing better to do >wft halfway through it and it has a better mystery than any anime >story end >litteraly coolest s--- ever >suddenly I start crying >tfw i realized that not only is anime is garbage and the normies were right but I have wasted half of my life being addicted to it
: Anonymous 01/01/22(Sat)23:21:09 No.66807627 >be me >huge weeb >out of anime to watch and bored out of my mind >youtube recomened meThe Call of Chtulu's audiobook >it has a slow start but I decided to keep listening to it because I 17 KB PNG have nothing better to do >wft halfway through it and it has a better mystery than any anime >story end >litteraly coolest s--- ever >suddenly I start crying >tfw i realized that not only is anime is garbage and the normies were right but I have wasted half of my life being addicted to it

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Anon likes pistachios | /r/Greentext

>be me >high school student >no time for breakfast, Wenderful Roasted & Salted gotta get to school >wear cammo cargo pants >eating pistachios on the way to school, filling my 30 KB JPG pockets with pistachio shells >get into class, put pistachios in backpack >jock c--- walks in, stare a him intently >this.is.where.l.f-----.up.jpg >jock sits behind me >later in class, get hungry, reach for pistachios. >pistachio shells audiably ding around in my cammo pants pocket >reach into backpack, grabbing for dark black wonderful pistachios bag >jock thinks shells are shells, pistachios are gun >screams EVERYBODY DOWN >f------ jumps on me >grabs the "gun", he's pointing a bag of pistachios at me >pistachio shells falling out of pocket >hwf PISTACHIOS
>be me >high school student >no time for breakfast, Wenderful Roasted & Salted gotta get to school >wear cammo cargo pants >eating pistachios on the way to school, filling my 30 KB JPG pockets with pistachio shells >get into class, put pistachios in backpack >jock c--- walks in, stare a him intently >this.is.where.l.f-----.up.jpg >jock sits behind me >later in class, get hungry, reach for pistachios. >pistachio shells audiably ding around in my cammo pants pocket >reach into backpack, grabbing for dark black wonderful pistachios bag >jock thinks shells are shells, pistachios are gun >screams EVERYBODY DOWN >f------ jumps on me >grabs the "gun", he's pointing a bag of pistachios at me >pistachio shells falling out of pocket >hwf PISTACHIOS

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Anon has a gamer moment | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 48906634 36 min. ago >be me >be 15 >hear that only 14yo girls say oof >say oof >im basically a girl now >j------- >say oof again which means that im a guy again since the two oofs cancel each other out 123.2 kB JPG >basically got jacked off by a girl >basically had sex See ya later virgins REPLY Anonymous | 48906721 28 min. ago >be 15 Thanks for letting me know right at the beginning that this was trash
Anonymous | 48906634 36 min. ago >be me >be 15 >hear that only 14yo girls say oof >say oof >im basically a girl now >j------- >say oof again which means that im a guy again since the two oofs cancel each other out 123.2 kB JPG >basically got jacked off by a girl >basically had sex See ya later virgins REPLY Anonymous | 48906721 28 min. ago >be 15 Thanks for letting me know right at the beginning that this was trash

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Anon makes mad cash | /r/Greentext


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Anon is disliked | /r/Greentext


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Anon is insane | /r/Greentext

1537264774886.jpg 11 KB JPG >Order fries with no salt, causing the staff to cook a new batch >Put on salt myself Everything in this world is part of my game.
1537264774886.jpg 11 KB JPG >Order fries with no salt, causing the staff to cook a new batch >Put on salt myself Everything in this world is part of my game.

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Anon starts humming | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 8EHHJ892 11/14/15(Sat)08:14:19 No.55704068 >Watch several ISIS videos because I love gore >The song that plays in them gets stuck in my head >Start humming it to myself 96 KB PNG at work >Muslim coworker puts his hands on my shoulder and says "soon, brother. soon"
: Anonymous (ID: 8EHHJ892 11/14/15(Sat)08:14:19 No.55704068 >Watch several ISIS videos because I love gore >The song that plays in them gets stuck in my head >Start humming it to myself 96 KB PNG at work >Muslim coworker puts his hands on my shoulder and says "soon, brother. soon"

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anon gets cucked by his autism | /r/Greentext

| Anonymous 01/01/22(Sat)22:12:35 No.869763060 >be me >17 y/o working at Subway >Store is open later than usual because people keep coming in >Last lady inside is very nice to me, but I'm just trying to stay awake >Before she leaves, she stops for a moment, and turns around, and glances at 70 KB PNG my name tag. >"Excuse me, Anon?" >"Yeah?" >"I just wanted to say that I think that you're super cute." >"Thank you ma'am, have a nice day." >Grab the keys to lock the door when I realize what had just transpired. >Woman drives away forever. >Mfw 3 Replies View Thread
| Anonymous 01/01/22(Sat)22:12:35 No.869763060 >be me >17 y/o working at Subway >Store is open later than usual because people keep coming in >Last lady inside is very nice to me, but I'm just trying to stay awake >Before she leaves, she stops for a moment, and turns around, and glances at 70 KB PNG my name tag. >"Excuse me, Anon?" >"Yeah?" >"I just wanted to say that I think that you're super cute." >"Thank you ma'am, have a nice day." >Grab the keys to lock the door when I realize what had just transpired. >Woman drives away forever. >Mfw 3 Replies View Thread

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