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Anon has a nickname | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/29/21(Wed)22:01:08 No.869540527 >one chance at life >got nicknamed 'creamy' in high school >still live in my hometown 15 years later >people I went to school with still regularly address me as creamy >even their children know me by this >people I didn't even go to high school with call me 16 KB JPG creamy along with half the f------ town >3 days ago I had to go pick up some car parts for my father >overheard him on the phone speaking to the mechanic who he's friends with >'yeah my son is going to come pick them up, the older one you know him... yeah that's the one. Creamy' Mfw
: Anonymous 12/29/21(Wed)22:01:08 No.869540527 >one chance at life >got nicknamed 'creamy' in high school >still live in my hometown 15 years later >people I went to school with still regularly address me as creamy >even their children know me by this >people I didn't even go to high school with call me 16 KB JPG creamy along with half the f------ town >3 days ago I had to go pick up some car parts for my father >overheard him on the phone speaking to the mechanic who he's friends with >'yeah my son is going to come pick them up, the older one you know him... yeah that's the one. Creamy' Mfw

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Anon is a NASA engineer | /r/Greentext

> be me > be in 2003 > firework night > britfag celebration of the torture of a catholic > Uncle reveals he's attached mice/guinea pigs to the rockets along with makeshift parachutes > fireworks start going off > no mice survive > wholesome family tradition begins RED WHIT & B PARACH > be one year later > more mice > family compete to see who can make the best parachutes > no mice survive > be in 2008 > first successful landing > first firework day trophy is awarded to my sister > still no survivors though > baby steps > be in 2010 > first survivor touches down > big celebration > we begin breeding the mice to save money > survivor is used as stud to selectively breed an ubermaus race of rocket riders > be in 2011 > we are getting good at this > survival rate has reached -5 per year > survivors are sent back up > clearly they are the best specimens > need to stay competetive to win the trophy and newly introduced monetary prize > be in 2015 > great year for rocket riders > 11 survive > mfw I still haven't won a trophy > pic related
> be me > be in 2003 > firework night > britfag celebration of the torture of a catholic > Uncle reveals he's attached mice/guinea pigs to the rockets along with makeshift parachutes > fireworks start going off > no mice survive > wholesome family tradition begins RED WHIT & B PARACH > be one year later > more mice > family compete to see who can make the best parachutes > no mice survive > be in 2008 > first successful landing > first firework day trophy is awarded to my sister > still no survivors though > baby steps > be in 2010 > first survivor touches down > big celebration > we begin breeding the mice to save money > survivor is used as stud to selectively breed an ubermaus race of rocket riders > be in 2011 > we are getting good at this > survival rate has reached -5 per year > survivors are sent back up > clearly they are the best specimens > need to stay competetive to win the trophy and newly introduced monetary prize > be in 2015 > great year for rocket riders > 11 survive > mfw I still haven't won a trophy > pic related

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Playing a calculator | /r/Greentext

File: Idiot png (10 KB, 194x259) idiot Marbidene O Anonymous 12/29/21(Wed)15:02:29 No.869532606 [Reply] >Found out desmos can play musical tones from your graph. >Looks up desmos's example that they made >got f------ rick rolled by desmos graphing calculator goodbye world
File: Idiot png (10 KB, 194x259) idiot Marbidene O Anonymous 12/29/21(Wed)15:02:29 No.869532606 [Reply] >Found out desmos can play musical tones from your graph. >Looks up desmos's example that they made >got f------ rick rolled by desmos graphing calculator goodbye world

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Anon refuses to run | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/28/21(Tue)16:57:32 No.64919431 >>64916847 (OP) # The human body is not adapted to run every day, certainly not routinely The human body is adapted for walking, sprinting, lifting, climbing, wrestling, fighting, swimming, throwing, and f------ Any workout that isn't entirely these things is bad for your body The only evolutionary advantage running gives you is to escape from situations, it is a fear based action, winners do not need to run Some people falsely believe our ancestors used running to persistence hunt This is false, human beings developed their intelligence to be able to hunt in more creative ways, using tools, luring, trapping, outsmarting their prey Any persistence hunters were smoothbrains You release pheromones that signal to women you are a coward if you run, and your body becomes gangly and unattractive to women It's an evolutionary way to weed out cowards Another evolutionary reason running exist is for incel that were outcast from the tribe desiring to mate, would run after lone women until they were exhausted and then r--- them It's literally the workout of prehistoric incel rapists >>64919871 # >>64920730
: Anonymous 12/28/21(Tue)16:57:32 No.64919431 >>64916847 (OP) # The human body is not adapted to run every day, certainly not routinely The human body is adapted for walking, sprinting, lifting, climbing, wrestling, fighting, swimming, throwing, and f------ Any workout that isn't entirely these things is bad for your body The only evolutionary advantage running gives you is to escape from situations, it is a fear based action, winners do not need to run Some people falsely believe our ancestors used running to persistence hunt This is false, human beings developed their intelligence to be able to hunt in more creative ways, using tools, luring, trapping, outsmarting their prey Any persistence hunters were smoothbrains You release pheromones that signal to women you are a coward if you run, and your body becomes gangly and unattractive to women It's an evolutionary way to weed out cowards Another evolutionary reason running exist is for incel that were outcast from the tribe desiring to mate, would run after lone women until they were exhausted and then r--- them It's literally the workout of prehistoric incel rapists >>64919871 # >>64920730

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Anon buys cigs | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/04/18(Tue)10:18:35 No.49657430 BORN TO >buying cigarettes at the usual FEEL gas station >girl behind counter "you look so young, why are you ruining your good looks with cigarettes?" >ask her if she really meant i look good 24 KB JPG >"nah just kidding haha smoke away buddy" 4 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 12/04/18(Tue)10:18:35 No.49657430 BORN TO >buying cigarettes at the usual FEEL gas station >girl behind counter "you look so young, why are you ruining your good looks with cigarettes?" >ask her if she really meant i look good 24 KB JPG >"nah just kidding haha smoke away buddy" 4 Replies View Thread

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Anon cheats the system | /r/Greentext

>be me >NEET who's painfully addicted to Korra Hentai >Spend 6 hours a day browsing NSFW Korra threads >Fill 4 GB flashdrive 99 KB JPG >Fill 16 GB flashdrive >Spend 14 hours a day browsing Korra threads >Fill 1 terabyte external hard drive in 2 months >Decide I need more storage >Needforspeed.exe >Quit NEET and get bachelors in cybersecurity >Stalk NSA agents who are responsible for new hires >Learn their taste in anime, vidya, and of course wifu preference >Apply to NSA get interview >Shoot the s--- with Brent over MHA ships for 45m f------ Bakudeku deviant >Hires me on the spot >Get access to NSA servers >91Gbpsdownloadspeed.jpg >Devote 1/3 of NSA servers to Korra Hentai >Delete info for entire east coast surveillance >Including Boston area fertilizer and pressure cooker sales >Whocares.notme >Have NordVPN to confuse IP >NSA thinks I'm a Prussian hacker >Run marathons of new Korra Hentai nightly
>be me >NEET who's painfully addicted to Korra Hentai >Spend 6 hours a day browsing NSFW Korra threads >Fill 4 GB flashdrive 99 KB JPG >Fill 16 GB flashdrive >Spend 14 hours a day browsing Korra threads >Fill 1 terabyte external hard drive in 2 months >Decide I need more storage >Needforspeed.exe >Quit NEET and get bachelors in cybersecurity >Stalk NSA agents who are responsible for new hires >Learn their taste in anime, vidya, and of course wifu preference >Apply to NSA get interview >Shoot the s--- with Brent over MHA ships for 45m f------ Bakudeku deviant >Hires me on the spot >Get access to NSA servers >91Gbpsdownloadspeed.jpg >Devote 1/3 of NSA servers to Korra Hentai >Delete info for entire east coast surveillance >Including Boston area fertilizer and pressure cooker sales >Whocares.notme >Have NordVPN to confuse IP >NSA thinks I'm a Prussian hacker >Run marathons of new Korra Hentai nightly

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Anon has a fantasy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/28/21(Tue)16:20:09 No.24982850 Imagine she's pulled over on the side of the road with engine troubles, and you pull over to help her. As you're coming back from your car to grab your tools, you trip on a jack stand right behind her, and you fall forward onto your knees, grabbing her for support, and her pants accidentally come down and your face implants into her bare ass. Imagine the 148 KB JPG smel.. : Giddy !!zChevKPVdJz 12/28/21(Tue)16:22:53 No.24982863 >>24982850 (OP) # what ass? : Anonymous 12/28/21(Tue)16:23:46 No.24982866 why is she 4 feet tall >>24982887 # : Anonymous 12/28/21(Tue)16:28:39 No.24982885 >>24982850 (OP) # 1: Anon that's a child.
: Anonymous 12/28/21(Tue)16:20:09 No.24982850 Imagine she's pulled over on the side of the road with engine troubles, and you pull over to help her. As you're coming back from your car to grab your tools, you trip on a jack stand right behind her, and you fall forward onto your knees, grabbing her for support, and her pants accidentally come down and your face implants into her bare ass. Imagine the 148 KB JPG smel.. : Giddy !!zChevKPVdJz 12/28/21(Tue)16:22:53 No.24982863 >>24982850 (OP) # what ass? : Anonymous 12/28/21(Tue)16:23:46 No.24982866 why is she 4 feet tall >>24982887 # : Anonymous 12/28/21(Tue)16:28:39 No.24982885 >>24982850 (OP) # 1: Anon that's a child.

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Anon is lower middle class | /r/Greentext

>notice that I have a strong dislike for most minorities >worry that I may be racist >decide to test if I really am >go out for a couple of drinks with a friend of a colleague 22 KB PNG >he's black >pretty good guy actually >turns out I just hate poor people phew good thing l'm not racist
>notice that I have a strong dislike for most minorities >worry that I may be racist >decide to test if I really am >go out for a couple of drinks with a friend of a colleague 22 KB PNG >he's black >pretty good guy actually >turns out I just hate poor people phew good thing l'm not racist

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Anon fucking dies | /r/Greentext

File: 820F1ED0-0564-40C2-A33C-7(...).jpg (506 KB, 1170x1207) Epic Prank Anonymous CainM.RI M.RI. M.RI 12/28/21(Tue)23:32:37 No.869522413 >>869522613 >>869523183 >>869523218 >>869523426 Any doctors or MRI Technicians that can help me recreate this meme with the most efficiency? I'm planning to do this next week when I get my MRI to go out with a blast.
File: 820F1ED0-0564-40C2-A33C-7(...).jpg (506 KB, 1170x1207) Epic Prank Anonymous CainM.RI M.RI. M.RI 12/28/21(Tue)23:32:37 No.869522413 >>869522613 >>869523183 >>869523218 >>869523426 Any doctors or MRI Technicians that can help me recreate this meme with the most efficiency? I'm planning to do this next week when I get my MRI to go out with a blast.

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Anon likes Advil | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/28/21(Tue)22:01:07 No.66756546 If I take enough ibuprofen, can I completely eliminate the feeling of pain? Could I become a superhero if I took enough advil??? equate Ibuprofen 1.16 MB JPG : Anonymous 12/28/21(Tue)22:03:44 No.66756572 >>66756546 (OP) # >can I completely eliminate the feeling of pain? take enough and all pains are gone forever >>66756601 #
: Anonymous 12/28/21(Tue)22:01:07 No.66756546 If I take enough ibuprofen, can I completely eliminate the feeling of pain? Could I become a superhero if I took enough advil??? equate Ibuprofen 1.16 MB JPG : Anonymous 12/28/21(Tue)22:03:44 No.66756572 >>66756546 (OP) # >can I completely eliminate the feeling of pain? take enough and all pains are gone forever >>66756601 #

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Anon watches a horror flick | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/04/14(Sat)17:46 UTC-5 No.40237147 0 Replies: >>40237326 >>40237371 >Go see some horror movie years ago with a friend at midnight. >Theater is empty except some black woman up front. >she starts yelling. >"NAW DONT GO IN THERE" >"WHY YOU DO THAT" >l yell back "TELL HER" >"YEAH SEE THIS BOI GETS IT" >"YEAH I GET IT" >later, a person dies from being decapitated, the woman screams. >"0000H DAYUM" >l yell back. >"DO YOU THINK SHE'S DEAD" >"HOW THE F--- YOU GON LIVE WITH NO HEAD" >"I DONT KNOW MAYBE AN AMBULANCE WILL COME" >"THEY IN THE F----- WOODS"
Anonymous 01/04/14(Sat)17:46 UTC-5 No.40237147 0 Replies: >>40237326 >>40237371 >Go see some horror movie years ago with a friend at midnight. >Theater is empty except some black woman up front. >she starts yelling. >"NAW DONT GO IN THERE" >"WHY YOU DO THAT" >l yell back "TELL HER" >"YEAH SEE THIS BOI GETS IT" >"YEAH I GET IT" >later, a person dies from being decapitated, the woman screams. >"0000H DAYUM" >l yell back. >"DO YOU THINK SHE'S DEAD" >"HOW THE F--- YOU GON LIVE WITH NO HEAD" >"I DONT KNOW MAYBE AN AMBULANCE WILL COME" >"THEY IN THE F----- WOODS"

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Anon tries dating sites | /r/Greentext


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Anon's mother takes a secret in grave | /r/Greentext

>be young >have a brother 1 year older >mother gets daily visitors >each time she gets a visitor she locks us in a room >looks away and says :"lookout for your retarded brother >each one of us thinks the other JPG 7.3 kB is retarded >mother dies Still don't know which one of us was the retarded one
>be young >have a brother 1 year older >mother gets daily visitors >each time she gets a visitor she locks us in a room >looks away and says :"lookout for your retarded brother >each one of us thinks the other JPG 7.3 kB is retarded >mother dies Still don't know which one of us was the retarded one

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Femanon interacts with her uncle | /r/Greentext

>Be me, 9yo femanon >Uncle is coming up from EREECANDY Alabama to visit >Don't really know him that well >He stays for dinner, keeps looking at me and smiling 16 KB JPG >I smile back >After dinner he tells me he wants to show me something in his van >Go to his van and he opens up the trunk >Costume box full of little girl's dresses >He brings it back to the house and we go downstairs >l ask why he has the dresses, he says they used to be his daughter's before she died >I say l'm sorry that his daughter died >He tells me there's something I can do to cheer him up >Tells me to take off my clothes >As a 9yo I just do it >He puts one of the dresses on me and smiles and says "You look just like her." >We go back upstairs and have a great time with my family >10 years later he pays for half my tuition >I love my uncle, greatest man I've ever known >Pic unrelated
>Be me, 9yo femanon >Uncle is coming up from EREECANDY Alabama to visit >Don't really know him that well >He stays for dinner, keeps looking at me and smiling 16 KB JPG >I smile back >After dinner he tells me he wants to show me something in his van >Go to his van and he opens up the trunk >Costume box full of little girl's dresses >He brings it back to the house and we go downstairs >l ask why he has the dresses, he says they used to be his daughter's before she died >I say l'm sorry that his daughter died >He tells me there's something I can do to cheer him up >Tells me to take off my clothes >As a 9yo I just do it >He puts one of the dresses on me and smiles and says "You look just like her." >We go back upstairs and have a great time with my family >10 years later he pays for half my tuition >I love my uncle, greatest man I've ever known >Pic unrelated

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anons loves space | /r/Greentext

>be me >sad depressed >suicidal thoughts >dad notices >thinks it's because of my siblings >thinks i don't get enough attention >takes me to the planetarium every other 29 KB JPG weekend because i love space >falls asleep every time because he's working 12h a day >he always takes me >still alive >thanks dad
>be me >sad depressed >suicidal thoughts >dad notices >thinks it's because of my siblings >thinks i don't get enough attention >takes me to the planetarium every other 29 KB JPG weekend because i love space >falls asleep every time because he's working 12h a day >he always takes me >still alive >thanks dad

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Anon shows the path to enlightenment | /r/Greentext


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Anon gonna get disowned | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/29/21(Wed)00:37:09 No.66753014 >be me >grow up in racist household >only attracted to brown girls What did god mean with this? 1.91 MB JPG
: Anonymous 12/29/21(Wed)00:37:09 No.66753014 >be me >grow up in racist household >only attracted to brown girls What did god mean with this? 1.91 MB JPG

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Anon gets a good nights sleep | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/12/17(Thu)23:00:07 No.40366294 >love having pressure on top of me >buy a weighted blanket so I can have something snug and warm lay on top of me and feel like I'm being hugged 96 KB JPG >do more research >find out weighted blankets are made for autistic kids oh no
: Anonymous 10/12/17(Thu)23:00:07 No.40366294 >love having pressure on top of me >buy a weighted blanket so I can have something snug and warm lay on top of me and feel like I'm being hugged 96 KB JPG >do more research >find out weighted blankets are made for autistic kids oh no

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anon needs to get his shit together | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 791795067 25 min. ago >be me >or not be me pic related 193.2 kB PNG
Anonymous | 791795067 25 min. ago >be me >or not be me pic related 193.2 kB PNG

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Gimme a K! Gimme a Y! Gimme a... | /r/Greentext


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