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Anon puts it together | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/25/21(Thu)16:17:55 No.867392430 PEOPLE CAN SMELL C-- 49 KB PNG
: Anonymous 11/25/21(Thu)16:17:55 No.867392430 PEOPLE CAN SMELL C-- 49 KB PNG

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Anon commits a war crime | /r/Greentext

I Anonymous 04/15/18(Sun)19:41:20 No.44709361 >yesterday >it's my little sister's birthday >she's a literal 13 year old Stacy >f------ spoiled as s--- as well >always tells me to leave the house already as I am 26 years old >hate her guts >be lactose intolerant >she and her classmates were out bowling >eat a s--- ton of varying dairy products >2 different kinds of yogurt, 3 different kinds of cheese and 2 tall glasses of milk >a deadlier version of mustard gas starts building up inside of me >spend the next 15 minutes farting inside my sister's bedroom >farted in every single sleeping bag and corner >10 minutes later sister comes back >they all run upstairs to watch some gay dancing movie >sister opens door >a wall of sulfuric gas hits her and her friends in the face >one of the quiet kids almost fainted >sister yells at parents >parents suspect it's a gas leak because they thought no man could produce such stench >got off scot-free Anyone else ldevilish/?
I Anonymous 04/15/18(Sun)19:41:20 No.44709361 >yesterday >it's my little sister's birthday >she's a literal 13 year old Stacy >f------ spoiled as s--- as well >always tells me to leave the house already as I am 26 years old >hate her guts >be lactose intolerant >she and her classmates were out bowling >eat a s--- ton of varying dairy products >2 different kinds of yogurt, 3 different kinds of cheese and 2 tall glasses of milk >a deadlier version of mustard gas starts building up inside of me >spend the next 15 minutes farting inside my sister's bedroom >farted in every single sleeping bag and corner >10 minutes later sister comes back >they all run upstairs to watch some gay dancing movie >sister opens door >a wall of sulfuric gas hits her and her friends in the face >one of the quiet kids almost fainted >sister yells at parents >parents suspect it's a gas leak because they thought no man could produce such stench >got off scot-free Anyone else ldevilish/?

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Anon gets trolled by his professor | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/13/21 (Mon)18:37:56 No.13958065 >Don't worry about x for now, we'll go into more depth on it later >never gets back to it 26 KB PNG : Anonymous 12/13/21(Mon)19:30:53 No.13958189 >it comes up in the test >"hey, i don't think we went over this" >"yes we did" *walks away* 52 KB JPG
: Anonymous 12/13/21 (Mon)18:37:56 No.13958065 >Don't worry about x for now, we'll go into more depth on it later >never gets back to it 26 KB PNG : Anonymous 12/13/21(Mon)19:30:53 No.13958189 >it comes up in the test >"hey, i don't think we went over this" >"yes we did" *walks away* 52 KB JPG

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Anon explains how taxes work | /r/Greentext


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Chest dimorphism | /r/Greentext


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Nothing but a tease | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/22/21(Wed)10:01:04 No.66668993 >be me growing up >mom would constantly tease me about liking girls >making me blush was the funniest thing to her >be me today >adult virgin filled with internalized shame about my 46 KB JPG sexuality >can't express my interest in women without cringing internally thanks mom
: Anonymous 12/22/21(Wed)10:01:04 No.66668993 >be me growing up >mom would constantly tease me about liking girls >making me blush was the funniest thing to her >be me today >adult virgin filled with internalized shame about my 46 KB JPG sexuality >can't express my interest in women without cringing internally thanks mom

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Communism is when no food | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/11/21(Mon)08:05:05 No.65719328 .. .... .... .... .... 1COB62ED-BE9C-4EF8-A5D2-F1402C141A3F.jpg 621 KB JPG >tfw grocery store in Cuba has everything you need but there aren't different labels for the same products owned by the same company so it's not freedom
: Anonymous 10/11/21(Mon)08:05:05 No.65719328 .. .... .... .... .... 1COB62ED-BE9C-4EF8-A5D2-F1402C141A3F.jpg 621 KB JPG >tfw grocery store in Cuba has everything you need but there aren't different labels for the same products owned by the same company so it's not freedom

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Khan Rogan | /r/Greentext

: test 09/27/20(Sun)08:35:11 No.139903097 Joe Rogan is like some barbarian Khan from the steppes that took an interest in intellectual things and his show is basically him bringing slightly nervous scholars and magicians to come before him to explain how the world works "glasses man, you explain to Joe why sky big, and how tree grow" but he will also believe almost anything you tell him, and only recently (in the past few years) does he clap back like "Tiny hat man say otherwise, do you lie to Joe? Tiny hat man say fat not bad for you, that sugar is enemy, so which is truth? Joe thinks you are wrong" and people just nervously go "oh-oh ok h-Haha yah I guess so" 83 KB JPG "Joe spend many moons on horseback and training with bow and sword, but joe also wonder why skyfire rise from mountains every morning, you will explain this to Joe."
: test 09/27/20(Sun)08:35:11 No.139903097 Joe Rogan is like some barbarian Khan from the steppes that took an interest in intellectual things and his show is basically him bringing slightly nervous scholars and magicians to come before him to explain how the world works "glasses man, you explain to Joe why sky big, and how tree grow" but he will also believe almost anything you tell him, and only recently (in the past few years) does he clap back like "Tiny hat man say otherwise, do you lie to Joe? Tiny hat man say fat not bad for you, that sugar is enemy, so which is truth? Joe thinks you are wrong" and people just nervously go "oh-oh ok h-Haha yah I guess so" 83 KB JPG "Joe spend many moons on horseback and training with bow and sword, but joe also wonder why skyfire rise from mountains every morning, you will explain this to Joe."

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What do you think? | /r/Greentext

File :1144613769.jpg-(5 KB, 320x240, Picture 5.jpg) O 04/09/06(Sun)15:16:09 No.6578677 hay guys i just finished making this hat for a freind. what do you think? :D >> O 04/09/06(Sun)15:16:54 No.6578693 i think you don't have any friends. enjoy your hat
File :1144613769.jpg-(5 KB, 320x240, Picture 5.jpg) O 04/09/06(Sun)15:16:09 No.6578677 hay guys i just finished making this hat for a freind. what do you think? :D >> O 04/09/06(Sun)15:16:54 No.6578693 i think you don't have any friends. enjoy your hat

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No wheels, no deals | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)22:06:01 No.869069189 im so f------ annoyed right now >make a tinder account >girl swipes right, i quickly get her snap, we exchange nudes and be horny 92 KB PNG >i live in a hotel rn because of plumbing issues >neither of us have drivers licenses so we cant drive >multiple days go by, we have not f----- >i suggest she get an uber so she can come to my hotel room >"ok" >she is also a babysitter >another day goes by, we havent f----- yet >ask her if she can get an uber >"no" >ask her when she can get an uber >"idk" most likely we will not f--- tonight
: Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)22:06:01 No.869069189 im so f------ annoyed right now >make a tinder account >girl swipes right, i quickly get her snap, we exchange nudes and be horny 92 KB PNG >i live in a hotel rn because of plumbing issues >neither of us have drivers licenses so we cant drive >multiple days go by, we have not f----- >i suggest she get an uber so she can come to my hotel room >"ok" >she is also a babysitter >another day goes by, we havent f----- yet >ask her if she can get an uber >"no" >ask her when she can get an uber >"idk" most likely we will not f--- tonight

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Anon is frustrated with his parents decision | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)13:19:06 No.869048373 >one (1) (one) shot at life >circumcised FP-0 477 KB PNG : Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)13:44:56 No.869049660
: Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)13:19:06 No.869048373 >one (1) (one) shot at life >circumcised FP-0 477 KB PNG : Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)13:44:56 No.869049660

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Anon Gets Streamzoned | /r/Greentext


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Anon doesn't get the hint | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/06/19(Wed)17:42:29 No.50829211 this happened a few years ago >have a crush on girl >manage to get her over to my house to watch a movie >we're both on the couch watching it >she grabs my arm and wraps it 40 KB JPG around her so we're cuddled together and she starts leaning into me more >just stay like that for a while, feels good >at some point she gets up and goes to the bathroom >when she comes back to the bathroom i look up and see she doesn't have a shirt or bra on >her t------ are just... right there and she's looking right at me >brain completely freezes and i'm totally confused >i give her a f------ thumbs up and say nice t--- then go back to watching the movie >she stands there for a few seconds then goes back to the bathroom and puts her bra and shirt back on and watches the rest of the movie like nothing happened i think that is the most autistic moment in my life View Thread
: Anonymous 02/06/19(Wed)17:42:29 No.50829211 this happened a few years ago >have a crush on girl >manage to get her over to my house to watch a movie >we're both on the couch watching it >she grabs my arm and wraps it 40 KB JPG around her so we're cuddled together and she starts leaning into me more >just stay like that for a while, feels good >at some point she gets up and goes to the bathroom >when she comes back to the bathroom i look up and see she doesn't have a shirt or bra on >her t------ are just... right there and she's looking right at me >brain completely freezes and i'm totally confused >i give her a f------ thumbs up and say nice t--- then go back to watching the movie >she stands there for a few seconds then goes back to the bathroom and puts her bra and shirt back on and watches the rest of the movie like nothing happened i think that is the most autistic moment in my life View Thread

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Anon takes a shit. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/23/21(Tue)09:54:45 No.848100344 >be me >frequently have liquid s---- >doc recommends I start taking Metamucil (fiber supplement) >read the instructions 225 KB JPG >it says take two scoops and mix it in water >my dumb ass assumed 1 scoop = 1 cup >grab my big gallon water bottle, put two cups of it in and mix it with water >chug >fast forward five days >haven't shat yet >can feel the baby sized turd growing in me >chug a bunch of coffee to trigger a bowel movement >sit on toilet for three hours as I push a f------ football out of my a------ >feel like l'm getting f----- in the prison showers >it seriously feels like my a------ is being ripped open >keep pushing >relief >s--- was the size of a $5 footlong sub >have to break it down with the plunger to flush it Now I'm considering doing it again cause the feeling it had on my a------ kinda turned me on. Thoughts?
: Anonymous 02/23/21(Tue)09:54:45 No.848100344 >be me >frequently have liquid s---- >doc recommends I start taking Metamucil (fiber supplement) >read the instructions 225 KB JPG >it says take two scoops and mix it in water >my dumb ass assumed 1 scoop = 1 cup >grab my big gallon water bottle, put two cups of it in and mix it with water >chug >fast forward five days >haven't shat yet >can feel the baby sized turd growing in me >chug a bunch of coffee to trigger a bowel movement >sit on toilet for three hours as I push a f------ football out of my a------ >feel like l'm getting f----- in the prison showers >it seriously feels like my a------ is being ripped open >keep pushing >relief >s--- was the size of a $5 footlong sub >have to break it down with the plunger to flush it Now I'm considering doing it again cause the feeling it had on my a------ kinda turned me on. Thoughts?

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Anon has a boyfriend. | /r/Greentext

19KİB, 498x498, 77177F8C-334F-4A0E-92B5- 4FBC2FD1973D.jpg Anonymous Wed 22 Dec 2021 20:40:44 No.869087701 View Quoted By: >>869087721 >be me >f-- >meet this cool dude at starbucks >he asks for my number >we start going out >one day he admits that he's trans >whatever.jpg >accept him as a her, he's super cool anyway >"no not like that anon" >turns out he's ftm >later that day we end up at his place >we f--- >realise p---- isn't that bad actually >ffw 3 months >bloated stomach >positive pregnancy test >mfw my boyfriend is pregnant
19KİB, 498x498, 77177F8C-334F-4A0E-92B5- 4FBC2FD1973D.jpg Anonymous Wed 22 Dec 2021 20:40:44 No.869087701 View Quoted By: >>869087721 >be me >f-- >meet this cool dude at starbucks >he asks for my number >we start going out >one day he admits that he's trans >whatever.jpg >accept him as a her, he's super cool anyway >"no not like that anon" >turns out he's ftm >later that day we end up at his place >we f--- >realise p---- isn't that bad actually >ffw 3 months >bloated stomach >positive pregnancy test >mfw my boyfriend is pregnant

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anon has autism powers | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)12:15:11 No.66657584 [Reply] >be me >walk through hallway >girl coming the other way >could move around but figure she'll move >she doesn't >eventually stop in front of each other >try going my right, she does too >same when going left >ok this is going nowhere >grab her arms like picking up a box by the sides >pick her up, turn around, set her down without saying a word >give her a nod as she looks at me wide eyed >turn around and go on my way Autism makes me strong
O Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)12:15:11 No.66657584 [Reply] >be me >walk through hallway >girl coming the other way >could move around but figure she'll move >she doesn't >eventually stop in front of each other >try going my right, she does too >same when going left >ok this is going nowhere >grab her arms like picking up a box by the sides >pick her up, turn around, set her down without saying a word >give her a nod as she looks at me wide eyed >turn around and go on my way Autism makes me strong

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Anon ordering food | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 761573897 9 min. ago 4chan I blame you. >be me, 17 >just got license >home alone, want McD's >Drive in my Mom's minivan >4chan has been daily browsing for me at this point >drive through >"Yeah, uhm, can I get a 10 pc of some chicken tendies?" >whatthefuckdidljustsay.exe has been executed >this m----------- says "sure anon" >oneofus.jpg >drive to window, embarrassed af >guy is 20 something, says "you seem chill" and passes me note with his twitter >dm him >now best friends.
Anonymous | 761573897 9 min. ago 4chan I blame you. >be me, 17 >just got license >home alone, want McD's >Drive in my Mom's minivan >4chan has been daily browsing for me at this point >drive through >"Yeah, uhm, can I get a 10 pc of some chicken tendies?" >whatthefuckdidljustsay.exe has been executed >this m----------- says "sure anon" >oneofus.jpg >drive to window, embarrassed af >guy is 20 something, says "you seem chill" and passes me note with his twitter >dm him >now best friends.

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Anon is a doctor | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/01/18(Sat)11:58 >be me >surgeon >35 hour operation >do it perfectly with no mistakes everyone thanks god
Anonymous 09/01/18(Sat)11:58 >be me >surgeon >35 hour operation >do it perfectly with no mistakes everyone thanks god

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Anon is a true monster | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/08/21(Fri)09:46:19 No.864620424 >be me, 2005 >10 years old, had moved to a new school 2 years ago >keep in touch with old friends via RuneScape >one of their moms dies from 216 KB JPG cancer, has a mildly abusive dad with temper >go to funeral, first time l've seen this friend since I moved >he's really sad but handling it well, we talk about RuneScape and I tell him I can help level his skills >he gives me his password >I steal all of his valuable stuff, change the password, and sell his account to one of my friends at my new school for $5 >never talked to the old friend again Mfw I realize was a sociopath as a child
: Anonymous 10/08/21(Fri)09:46:19 No.864620424 >be me, 2005 >10 years old, had moved to a new school 2 years ago >keep in touch with old friends via RuneScape >one of their moms dies from 216 KB JPG cancer, has a mildly abusive dad with temper >go to funeral, first time l've seen this friend since I moved >he's really sad but handling it well, we talk about RuneScape and I tell him I can help level his skills >he gives me his password >I steal all of his valuable stuff, change the password, and sell his account to one of my friends at my new school for $5 >never talked to the old friend again Mfw I realize was a sociopath as a child

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anon makes a discovery | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/07/21(Tue)05:55:10 No.868146754 >almost completely unregulated >incompatible with traffic jams >no note >no insurance needed >no license needed >fuel it with determination and whatever 148 KB JPG you ate for breakfast this morning >probably one of the most fuel-efficient vehicles in existence, come to think of it >goes as far and as fast as you can >no need for parking lots, just leave it anywhere there is a secure structure you can attach it to >and even if someone does steal it, it's so inexpensive you could literally just buy another no problem >physically improves you while you use it >plain ol' fun >minimal environmental impact >collisions are significantly less likely to kill or even injure >if entire cities were designed around these the way they are with cars, everyone would be fine with it >doesn't even need seatbelts why is the automobile viewed as the ultimate symbol of freedom again?
: Anonymous 12/07/21(Tue)05:55:10 No.868146754 >almost completely unregulated >incompatible with traffic jams >no note >no insurance needed >no license needed >fuel it with determination and whatever 148 KB JPG you ate for breakfast this morning >probably one of the most fuel-efficient vehicles in existence, come to think of it >goes as far and as fast as you can >no need for parking lots, just leave it anywhere there is a secure structure you can attach it to >and even if someone does steal it, it's so inexpensive you could literally just buy another no problem >physically improves you while you use it >plain ol' fun >minimal environmental impact >collisions are significantly less likely to kill or even injure >if entire cities were designed around these the way they are with cars, everyone would be fine with it >doesn't even need seatbelts why is the automobile viewed as the ultimate symbol of freedom again?

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