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Anon is a doctor | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/01/18(Sat)11:58 >be me >surgeon >35 hour operation >do it perfectly with no mistakes everyone thanks god
Anonymous 09/01/18(Sat)11:58 >be me >surgeon >35 hour operation >do it perfectly with no mistakes everyone thanks god

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Anon is a true monster | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/08/21(Fri)09:46:19 No.864620424 >be me, 2005 >10 years old, had moved to a new school 2 years ago >keep in touch with old friends via RuneScape >one of their moms dies from 216 KB JPG cancer, has a mildly abusive dad with temper >go to funeral, first time l've seen this friend since I moved >he's really sad but handling it well, we talk about RuneScape and I tell him I can help level his skills >he gives me his password >I steal all of his valuable stuff, change the password, and sell his account to one of my friends at my new school for $5 >never talked to the old friend again Mfw I realize was a sociopath as a child
: Anonymous 10/08/21(Fri)09:46:19 No.864620424 >be me, 2005 >10 years old, had moved to a new school 2 years ago >keep in touch with old friends via RuneScape >one of their moms dies from 216 KB JPG cancer, has a mildly abusive dad with temper >go to funeral, first time l've seen this friend since I moved >he's really sad but handling it well, we talk about RuneScape and I tell him I can help level his skills >he gives me his password >I steal all of his valuable stuff, change the password, and sell his account to one of my friends at my new school for $5 >never talked to the old friend again Mfw I realize was a sociopath as a child

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anon makes a discovery | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/07/21(Tue)05:55:10 No.868146754 >almost completely unregulated >incompatible with traffic jams >no note >no insurance needed >no license needed >fuel it with determination and whatever 148 KB JPG you ate for breakfast this morning >probably one of the most fuel-efficient vehicles in existence, come to think of it >goes as far and as fast as you can >no need for parking lots, just leave it anywhere there is a secure structure you can attach it to >and even if someone does steal it, it's so inexpensive you could literally just buy another no problem >physically improves you while you use it >plain ol' fun >minimal environmental impact >collisions are significantly less likely to kill or even injure >if entire cities were designed around these the way they are with cars, everyone would be fine with it >doesn't even need seatbelts why is the automobile viewed as the ultimate symbol of freedom again?
: Anonymous 12/07/21(Tue)05:55:10 No.868146754 >almost completely unregulated >incompatible with traffic jams >no note >no insurance needed >no license needed >fuel it with determination and whatever 148 KB JPG you ate for breakfast this morning >probably one of the most fuel-efficient vehicles in existence, come to think of it >goes as far and as fast as you can >no need for parking lots, just leave it anywhere there is a secure structure you can attach it to >and even if someone does steal it, it's so inexpensive you could literally just buy another no problem >physically improves you while you use it >plain ol' fun >minimal environmental impact >collisions are significantly less likely to kill or even injure >if entire cities were designed around these the way they are with cars, everyone would be fine with it >doesn't even need seatbelts why is the automobile viewed as the ultimate symbol of freedom again?

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I pray this was not posted yet lmao | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/29/18(Sat)18:31:43 No.788513303 >be me 17 today >into erotic hypnosis >Family out to dinner obviously didn't invite my autistic ass >thisismynight.pepe >get completely nakey >lay on bed and play some thot hypnotisis audio on speaker 23 KB JPG >Dropse me in a trance >Turns out to be some femdom sissy s--- >asks me to lick p---- >Ofukyea.kek >the whole time I'm so aroused my pp leaking c-- >She finally commands me to c-- >Best orgasm of my life >open eyes >mom is sobbing on the floor >Dad is screaming about how I was jamming my tongue in n out >Never heard them come in cuz in trance >They both ignore me around the house >What do /b/?
: Anonymous 12/29/18(Sat)18:31:43 No.788513303 >be me 17 today >into erotic hypnosis >Family out to dinner obviously didn't invite my autistic ass >thisismynight.pepe >get completely nakey >lay on bed and play some thot hypnotisis audio on speaker 23 KB JPG >Dropse me in a trance >Turns out to be some femdom sissy s--- >asks me to lick p---- >Ofukyea.kek >the whole time I'm so aroused my pp leaking c-- >She finally commands me to c-- >Best orgasm of my life >open eyes >mom is sobbing on the floor >Dad is screaming about how I was jamming my tongue in n out >Never heard them come in cuz in trance >They both ignore me around the house >What do /b/?

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Anon gets a GF | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/15/21(Wed)15:04:47 No.66575792 >girl I've been paying $600 a month to be my girlfriend says she's caught feelings for me and has started refusing my money >gave me back $1800 out of the $3000 I've paid so far >says she'll give me back the rest when she gets the money 295 KB PNG >wants to see me more often now What do I do now? Anonymous 12/15/21(Wed)15:07:20 No.66575822 >>66575792 (OP) >What do I do now? enjoy your gf for free?
Anonymous 12/15/21(Wed)15:04:47 No.66575792 >girl I've been paying $600 a month to be my girlfriend says she's caught feelings for me and has started refusing my money >gave me back $1800 out of the $3000 I've paid so far >says she'll give me back the rest when she gets the money 295 KB PNG >wants to see me more often now What do I do now? Anonymous 12/15/21(Wed)15:07:20 No.66575822 >>66575792 (OP) >What do I do now? enjoy your gf for free?

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anon uses his special move | /r/Greentext

File: Nervous pepe.jpg (7 KB, 231x218) Anonymous 03/12/17(Sun)15:57:54 No.35478083 >Playing air hockey with sister's friend. >She's pregnant >Accidentally knock the puck into her stomach >Joke that I used my secret baby killing technique >She has a miscarriage.
File: Nervous pepe.jpg (7 KB, 231x218) Anonymous 03/12/17(Sun)15:57:54 No.35478083 >Playing air hockey with sister's friend. >She's pregnant >Accidentally knock the puck into her stomach >Joke that I used my secret baby killing technique >She has a miscarriage.

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Anon's kid turns out fine | /r/Greentext

O 07/07/07(Sat)19:00:20 No.32255003 If I was a girl, I would get pregnant as many times as possible, then have abortions after the third month of being pregnant so i would deliver a potato sized 1/3 developed dead fetus, then i would take the fetus, put it in a jar of preservative liquid and put it on a shelf in a secret room in my house. and i would do it until i had so many the rooms walls were nothing but potato sized aborted fetuses. then i would have a kid and when they're bad i would make them sit in the fetus room and remind them of how easy i could have aborted their ass.
O 07/07/07(Sat)19:00:20 No.32255003 If I was a girl, I would get pregnant as many times as possible, then have abortions after the third month of being pregnant so i would deliver a potato sized 1/3 developed dead fetus, then i would take the fetus, put it in a jar of preservative liquid and put it on a shelf in a secret room in my house. and i would do it until i had so many the rooms walls were nothing but potato sized aborted fetuses. then i would have a kid and when they're bad i would make them sit in the fetus room and remind them of how easy i could have aborted their ass.

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Anon is old fashioned. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/18/18(Sun)13:58:05 No.785213139 > The year is 1950 > Come home from a long day at work > Greeted by wife, slap her in the face > She laughs and gets back to cooking my tendies 125 KB JPG > Tendies are of much higher quality than today, no GMO's or preservatives > Sit in a recliner, read the paper > Look out the window, see a black guy > Shoot him > He dies > His corpse gets arrested > Wife brings me the tendies, she can't have any because I need her to maintain her ribcage > The day ends and I f--- her while she hates every second of it > Doesn't even know female orgasms are possible Ah, how great it would be to have lived and died in this time period.
: Anonymous 11/18/18(Sun)13:58:05 No.785213139 > The year is 1950 > Come home from a long day at work > Greeted by wife, slap her in the face > She laughs and gets back to cooking my tendies 125 KB JPG > Tendies are of much higher quality than today, no GMO's or preservatives > Sit in a recliner, read the paper > Look out the window, see a black guy > Shoot him > He dies > His corpse gets arrested > Wife brings me the tendies, she can't have any because I need her to maintain her ribcage > The day ends and I f--- her while she hates every second of it > Doesn't even know female orgasms are possible Ah, how great it would be to have lived and died in this time period.

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/b/uilt to last | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)14:10:47 No.869044859 >scrolling /b/ >BBC >loli 19 KB JPG >socials >mediocre secrets thread made by obvious glowie >shota >streamer simp thread >BBC The absolute state of /b/
: Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)14:10:47 No.869044859 >scrolling /b/ >BBC >loli 19 KB JPG >socials >mediocre secrets thread made by obvious glowie >shota >streamer simp thread >BBC The absolute state of /b/

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Anon is waiting for it to get better | /r/Greentext

>it'll get better in high school >it'll get better in college >it'l' get better in university >it will get better when i have a job
>it'll get better in high school >it'll get better in college >it'l' get better in university >it will get better when i have a job

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Anon loses his virginity | /r/Greentext

>play WoWS >fire a shell at a ship >it penetrates the hull >ships are female >l penetrated a female See ya later virgins 134.4 kB JPG
>play WoWS >fire a shell at a ship >it penetrates the hull >ships are female >l penetrated a female See ya later virgins 134.4 kB JPG

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Anon is home alone | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/04/19(Fri)18:49:20 No.7483658 >be me >Parents leaves house >Brother leaves house >Hellyeah.jpeg >Go to my room >"Alright, here goes" >*Ahem* 157 KB JPG >"Ni-ni-nig-nigg-N-----" >Finally say the N-WORD Alright, so Basically after I said the n-word some weird penguin entered my room and knocked me out. I'm now trapped in a basement and my ass is hurting. Please help guys. I'm sorry for saying the n-word.
: Anonymous 01/04/19(Fri)18:49:20 No.7483658 >be me >Parents leaves house >Brother leaves house >Hellyeah.jpeg >Go to my room >"Alright, here goes" >*Ahem* 157 KB JPG >"Ni-ni-nig-nigg-N-----" >Finally say the N-WORD Alright, so Basically after I said the n-word some weird penguin entered my room and knocked me out. I'm now trapped in a basement and my ass is hurting. Please help guys. I'm sorry for saying the n-word.

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Anon can’t abandon Big Boss | /r/Greentext

File: 1384015653236.gif-(3 MB, 416x405, sad boss.gif) 3 GO 88O Anonymous 11/09/13(Sat)11:47 UTC-5 No.217367432 Replies: >>217367735 >>217367839 >>217367934 >217368005 >>217368007 >>217368101 >>217368213 >>217368318 >>217368332 >>217368557 >>217368638 >>217368639 >>217368746 >>217368793 >>217368885 >>217368897 >>217368906 >>217368936 >>217369192 >>217369197 >>217369947 >>217370617 >>217370651 >>217370743 2>217370929 >>217371345 >>217371543 >>217372025 >>217372335 2>217372589 >>217373079 >>217373274 >>217374096 >>217374636 >>217375214 >>217375570 >>217375891 >>217376593 >>217376596 >>217376673 >>217377858 >>217379472 >>217379810 >Acquire a girlfriend >She's a solid 6/10 >Spend time together >One day she finds a picture of Big Boss in my wallet >Since then she acts weird >Finally, she finds my Big Boss folder on my po >2GB of Big Boss pom, speeches, motivational posters and cosplay >Notices my collection of vidya games isnt all that impressive, but i have all MGS titles next to a Big Boss figurine and my BB husbando picture where i feed my monitor showing Big Boss doritos and yerba mate >Demands I delete my folder and hide eveyrthing Big Boss related, consoles included or she leaves >Gives me 24 hours >16 hours have passed What do I do, /vi? I can't just abandon Big Boss.
File: 1384015653236.gif-(3 MB, 416x405, sad boss.gif) 3 GO 88O Anonymous 11/09/13(Sat)11:47 UTC-5 No.217367432 Replies: >>217367735 >>217367839 >>217367934 >217368005 >>217368007 >>217368101 >>217368213 >>217368318 >>217368332 >>217368557 >>217368638 >>217368639 >>217368746 >>217368793 >>217368885 >>217368897 >>217368906 >>217368936 >>217369192 >>217369197 >>217369947 >>217370617 >>217370651 >>217370743 2>217370929 >>217371345 >>217371543 >>217372025 >>217372335 2>217372589 >>217373079 >>217373274 >>217374096 >>217374636 >>217375214 >>217375570 >>217375891 >>217376593 >>217376596 >>217376673 >>217377858 >>217379472 >>217379810 >Acquire a girlfriend >She's a solid 6/10 >Spend time together >One day she finds a picture of Big Boss in my wallet >Since then she acts weird >Finally, she finds my Big Boss folder on my po >2GB of Big Boss pom, speeches, motivational posters and cosplay >Notices my collection of vidya games isnt all that impressive, but i have all MGS titles next to a Big Boss figurine and my BB husbando picture where i feed my monitor showing Big Boss doritos and yerba mate >Demands I delete my folder and hide eveyrthing Big Boss related, consoles included or she leaves >Gives me 24 hours >16 hours have passed What do I do, /vi? I can't just abandon Big Boss.

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C ya defribillater | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/14/21(Tue)06:26:48 No.65375180 >28 >never even bothered to ask a girl out before >decide ill try it out >theres a girl ive been crushing on for months 53 KB JPG >get rejected >the feeling of overwhelmingly brutal depression comes over me >first time ive felt anything in years Honestly it was worth it
: Anonymous 09/14/21(Tue)06:26:48 No.65375180 >28 >never even bothered to ask a girl out before >decide ill try it out >theres a girl ive been crushing on for months 53 KB JPG >get rejected >the feeling of overwhelmingly brutal depression comes over me >first time ive felt anything in years Honestly it was worth it

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Anon orders pizza | /r/Greentext

:Anonymous 08/10/18(Fri)10:45:19 No.47412826 >Pizza delivery place recognized me and offered me a discount. 35 KB PNG
:Anonymous 08/10/18(Fri)10:45:19 No.47412826 >Pizza delivery place recognized me and offered me a discount. 35 KB PNG

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Anon works at McDonald’s | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 753841064 45 min. geleden •.. story time 399ANoW >working at McDonald's >*autistic kid appears* >screams all the time : CHICKEN MCNUGGETS CHICHEN a py mel AN EXCELLENT HAPP >wants a happy meal with nuggets >gave him 5 instead of 4 cuz of my kindness 300,3 kB JPG >he noticed >*autistic screeching* >wanted a new one with only 4 nuggets i hate children. 3 REPLIES O IMAGES REPLY
Anonymous | 753841064 45 min. geleden •.. story time 399ANoW >working at McDonald's >*autistic kid appears* >screams all the time : CHICKEN MCNUGGETS CHICHEN a py mel AN EXCELLENT HAPP >wants a happy meal with nuggets >gave him 5 instead of 4 cuz of my kindness 300,3 kB JPG >he noticed >*autistic screeching* >wanted a new one with only 4 nuggets i hate children. 3 REPLIES O IMAGES REPLY

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New Props Dept. Manager for Rust | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: AXRR684N )E 10/22/21(Fri)12:04:35 No.344411289 45376474.jpg 10 KB JPG "Here's your prop gun, Mr. Baldwin. Don't worry, it's not loaded."
: Anonymous (ID: AXRR684N )E 10/22/21(Fri)12:04:35 No.344411289 45376474.jpg 10 KB JPG "Here's your prop gun, Mr. Baldwin. Don't worry, it's not loaded."

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Anon learns to cook | /r/Greentext

:Anonymous 08/10/18(Fri)09:14:28 No.47411618 >learn how to cook because I got bored while being NEET >make some great quiche and put it in the fridge >cut it up into blocks and put them in a freezer bag 6 KB JPG for later >go to see the new incredibles 2 film with my quiche as a snack >ask the grill next to me if she wants some and she starts laughing at me >feel sad and eat my quiche alone
:Anonymous 08/10/18(Fri)09:14:28 No.47411618 >learn how to cook because I got bored while being NEET >make some great quiche and put it in the fridge >cut it up into blocks and put them in a freezer bag 6 KB JPG for later >go to see the new incredibles 2 film with my quiche as a snack >ask the grill next to me if she wants some and she starts laughing at me >feel sad and eat my quiche alone

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Anon wonder | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: Wz+crcd+ 04/17/19(Wed)05:40:40 No.7873168 >legal drinking/smoking/gambling age is 18 >weed is legal >prostitution is de facto legal >no prison labor or private prisons >all police departments have required civilian oversight 21 KB JPG Is this the true land of the free? 7 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous (ID: Wz+crcd+ 04/17/19(Wed)05:40:40 No.7873168 >legal drinking/smoking/gambling age is 18 >weed is legal >prostitution is de facto legal >no prison labor or private prisons >all police departments have required civilian oversight 21 KB JPG Is this the true land of the free? 7 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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YouTube comments | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)18:38:53 No.66656416 [Reply] >>66656519 >>66656531 >>66656803 >>66656823 YouTube comments are peak NPc >Can we appreciate that- >I love how- >The fact that- >Nobody: Literally nobody: 99% of comments start like this. + 3 replies and 2 images omitted. Click here to view. >> Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)18:47:02 No.66656519 >> Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)18:48:21 No.66656531 O Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)19:11:28 No.66656803 ► >>66656416 (OP). The iPhone and its consequences have been a disaster for the internet.
O Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)18:38:53 No.66656416 [Reply] >>66656519 >>66656531 >>66656803 >>66656823 YouTube comments are peak NPc >Can we appreciate that- >I love how- >The fact that- >Nobody: Literally nobody: 99% of comments start like this. + 3 replies and 2 images omitted. Click here to view. >> Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)18:47:02 No.66656519 >> Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)18:48:21 No.66656531 O Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)19:11:28 No.66656803 ► >>66656416 (OP). The iPhone and its consequences have been a disaster for the internet.

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