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Anon is home alone | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/04/19(Fri)18:49:20 No.7483658 >be me >Parents leaves house >Brother leaves house >Hellyeah.jpeg >Go to my room >"Alright, here goes" >*Ahem* 157 KB JPG >"Ni-ni-nig-nigg-N-----" >Finally say the N-WORD Alright, so Basically after I said the n-word some weird penguin entered my room and knocked me out. I'm now trapped in a basement and my ass is hurting. Please help guys. I'm sorry for saying the n-word.
: Anonymous 01/04/19(Fri)18:49:20 No.7483658 >be me >Parents leaves house >Brother leaves house >Hellyeah.jpeg >Go to my room >"Alright, here goes" >*Ahem* 157 KB JPG >"Ni-ni-nig-nigg-N-----" >Finally say the N-WORD Alright, so Basically after I said the n-word some weird penguin entered my room and knocked me out. I'm now trapped in a basement and my ass is hurting. Please help guys. I'm sorry for saying the n-word.

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Anon can’t abandon Big Boss | /r/Greentext

File: 1384015653236.gif-(3 MB, 416x405, sad boss.gif) 3 GO 88O Anonymous 11/09/13(Sat)11:47 UTC-5 No.217367432 Replies: >>217367735 >>217367839 >>217367934 >217368005 >>217368007 >>217368101 >>217368213 >>217368318 >>217368332 >>217368557 >>217368638 >>217368639 >>217368746 >>217368793 >>217368885 >>217368897 >>217368906 >>217368936 >>217369192 >>217369197 >>217369947 >>217370617 >>217370651 >>217370743 2>217370929 >>217371345 >>217371543 >>217372025 >>217372335 2>217372589 >>217373079 >>217373274 >>217374096 >>217374636 >>217375214 >>217375570 >>217375891 >>217376593 >>217376596 >>217376673 >>217377858 >>217379472 >>217379810 >Acquire a girlfriend >She's a solid 6/10 >Spend time together >One day she finds a picture of Big Boss in my wallet >Since then she acts weird >Finally, she finds my Big Boss folder on my po >2GB of Big Boss pom, speeches, motivational posters and cosplay >Notices my collection of vidya games isnt all that impressive, but i have all MGS titles next to a Big Boss figurine and my BB husbando picture where i feed my monitor showing Big Boss doritos and yerba mate >Demands I delete my folder and hide eveyrthing Big Boss related, consoles included or she leaves >Gives me 24 hours >16 hours have passed What do I do, /vi? I can't just abandon Big Boss.
File: 1384015653236.gif-(3 MB, 416x405, sad boss.gif) 3 GO 88O Anonymous 11/09/13(Sat)11:47 UTC-5 No.217367432 Replies: >>217367735 >>217367839 >>217367934 >217368005 >>217368007 >>217368101 >>217368213 >>217368318 >>217368332 >>217368557 >>217368638 >>217368639 >>217368746 >>217368793 >>217368885 >>217368897 >>217368906 >>217368936 >>217369192 >>217369197 >>217369947 >>217370617 >>217370651 >>217370743 2>217370929 >>217371345 >>217371543 >>217372025 >>217372335 2>217372589 >>217373079 >>217373274 >>217374096 >>217374636 >>217375214 >>217375570 >>217375891 >>217376593 >>217376596 >>217376673 >>217377858 >>217379472 >>217379810 >Acquire a girlfriend >She's a solid 6/10 >Spend time together >One day she finds a picture of Big Boss in my wallet >Since then she acts weird >Finally, she finds my Big Boss folder on my po >2GB of Big Boss pom, speeches, motivational posters and cosplay >Notices my collection of vidya games isnt all that impressive, but i have all MGS titles next to a Big Boss figurine and my BB husbando picture where i feed my monitor showing Big Boss doritos and yerba mate >Demands I delete my folder and hide eveyrthing Big Boss related, consoles included or she leaves >Gives me 24 hours >16 hours have passed What do I do, /vi? I can't just abandon Big Boss.

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C ya defribillater | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/14/21(Tue)06:26:48 No.65375180 >28 >never even bothered to ask a girl out before >decide ill try it out >theres a girl ive been crushing on for months 53 KB JPG >get rejected >the feeling of overwhelmingly brutal depression comes over me >first time ive felt anything in years Honestly it was worth it
: Anonymous 09/14/21(Tue)06:26:48 No.65375180 >28 >never even bothered to ask a girl out before >decide ill try it out >theres a girl ive been crushing on for months 53 KB JPG >get rejected >the feeling of overwhelmingly brutal depression comes over me >first time ive felt anything in years Honestly it was worth it

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Anon orders pizza | /r/Greentext

:Anonymous 08/10/18(Fri)10:45:19 No.47412826 >Pizza delivery place recognized me and offered me a discount. 35 KB PNG
:Anonymous 08/10/18(Fri)10:45:19 No.47412826 >Pizza delivery place recognized me and offered me a discount. 35 KB PNG

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Anon works at McDonald’s | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 753841064 45 min. geleden •.. story time 399ANoW >working at McDonald's >*autistic kid appears* >screams all the time : CHICKEN MCNUGGETS CHICHEN a py mel AN EXCELLENT HAPP >wants a happy meal with nuggets >gave him 5 instead of 4 cuz of my kindness 300,3 kB JPG >he noticed >*autistic screeching* >wanted a new one with only 4 nuggets i hate children. 3 REPLIES O IMAGES REPLY
Anonymous | 753841064 45 min. geleden •.. story time 399ANoW >working at McDonald's >*autistic kid appears* >screams all the time : CHICKEN MCNUGGETS CHICHEN a py mel AN EXCELLENT HAPP >wants a happy meal with nuggets >gave him 5 instead of 4 cuz of my kindness 300,3 kB JPG >he noticed >*autistic screeching* >wanted a new one with only 4 nuggets i hate children. 3 REPLIES O IMAGES REPLY

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New Props Dept. Manager for Rust | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: AXRR684N )E 10/22/21(Fri)12:04:35 No.344411289 45376474.jpg 10 KB JPG "Here's your prop gun, Mr. Baldwin. Don't worry, it's not loaded."
: Anonymous (ID: AXRR684N )E 10/22/21(Fri)12:04:35 No.344411289 45376474.jpg 10 KB JPG "Here's your prop gun, Mr. Baldwin. Don't worry, it's not loaded."

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Anon learns to cook | /r/Greentext

:Anonymous 08/10/18(Fri)09:14:28 No.47411618 >learn how to cook because I got bored while being NEET >make some great quiche and put it in the fridge >cut it up into blocks and put them in a freezer bag 6 KB JPG for later >go to see the new incredibles 2 film with my quiche as a snack >ask the grill next to me if she wants some and she starts laughing at me >feel sad and eat my quiche alone
:Anonymous 08/10/18(Fri)09:14:28 No.47411618 >learn how to cook because I got bored while being NEET >make some great quiche and put it in the fridge >cut it up into blocks and put them in a freezer bag 6 KB JPG for later >go to see the new incredibles 2 film with my quiche as a snack >ask the grill next to me if she wants some and she starts laughing at me >feel sad and eat my quiche alone

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Anon wonder | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: Wz+crcd+ 04/17/19(Wed)05:40:40 No.7873168 >legal drinking/smoking/gambling age is 18 >weed is legal >prostitution is de facto legal >no prison labor or private prisons >all police departments have required civilian oversight 21 KB JPG Is this the true land of the free? 7 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous (ID: Wz+crcd+ 04/17/19(Wed)05:40:40 No.7873168 >legal drinking/smoking/gambling age is 18 >weed is legal >prostitution is de facto legal >no prison labor or private prisons >all police departments have required civilian oversight 21 KB JPG Is this the true land of the free? 7 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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YouTube comments | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)18:38:53 No.66656416 [Reply] >>66656519 >>66656531 >>66656803 >>66656823 YouTube comments are peak NPc >Can we appreciate that- >I love how- >The fact that- >Nobody: Literally nobody: 99% of comments start like this. + 3 replies and 2 images omitted. Click here to view. >> Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)18:47:02 No.66656519 >> Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)18:48:21 No.66656531 O Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)19:11:28 No.66656803 ► >>66656416 (OP). The iPhone and its consequences have been a disaster for the internet.
O Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)18:38:53 No.66656416 [Reply] >>66656519 >>66656531 >>66656803 >>66656823 YouTube comments are peak NPc >Can we appreciate that- >I love how- >The fact that- >Nobody: Literally nobody: 99% of comments start like this. + 3 replies and 2 images omitted. Click here to view. >> Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)18:47:02 No.66656519 >> Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)18:48:21 No.66656531 O Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)19:11:28 No.66656803 ► >>66656416 (OP). The iPhone and its consequences have been a disaster for the internet.

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Anon knows how to get happy with himself | /r/Greentext

File: 91.jpg (105 KB, 820x564) Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)12:50:58 No.66653144 [Reply] | any other narcissists here? >be me >about to sleep >stressed about work >give myself pep talk >end it with "Take care of yourself. I care about you." >fuzzy feelings drifting off into sleep I love myself so much
File: 91.jpg (105 KB, 820x564) Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)12:50:58 No.66653144 [Reply] | any other narcissists here? >be me >about to sleep >stressed about work >give myself pep talk >end it with "Take care of yourself. I care about you." >fuzzy feelings drifting off into sleep I love myself so much

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Anons brother watches too much hentai | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 47 minutes ago 867266728 >Be me >Accidentally catch my 14 year old brother on Nhentai >Was gonna never bring it up again but the little f--- started acting weird >Apparently he's been browsing the shotacon, i-----, milf tags cuz he's recently taken an interest in our aunt >mf isn't even subtle about it >Thinks the world runs on hentai logic >One night when we're sleeping over at her place he wakes up at like 12:00pm and gets out of bed >l'm still awake and follow him >lil bro goes to aunt reading on the couch >He has a massive f------ boner >Pulls the generic hentai "It suddenly got big" "help me" >Whips out his c--- and gets closer expecting a f--- >Instead gets screamed at by the aunt and essentially every member of the family the next day, + no internet, TV or videogames for the next year Serves you right you little f------ dumbass 5 REPLIES
Anonymous 47 minutes ago 867266728 >Be me >Accidentally catch my 14 year old brother on Nhentai >Was gonna never bring it up again but the little f--- started acting weird >Apparently he's been browsing the shotacon, i-----, milf tags cuz he's recently taken an interest in our aunt >mf isn't even subtle about it >Thinks the world runs on hentai logic >One night when we're sleeping over at her place he wakes up at like 12:00pm and gets out of bed >l'm still awake and follow him >lil bro goes to aunt reading on the couch >He has a massive f------ boner >Pulls the generic hentai "It suddenly got big" "help me" >Whips out his c--- and gets closer expecting a f--- >Instead gets screamed at by the aunt and essentially every member of the family the next day, + no internet, TV or videogames for the next year Serves you right you little f------ dumbass 5 REPLIES

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Autist's guild | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)09:30:57 No.66654183 >men on the spectrum become incels who resent women Heler because they can't find loving relationships >women on the spectrum Heler become feminists who hate men 156 KB PNG because they've fallen prey to too many sleazebags >both view themselves as victims of a society that's dominated by abusive chads/stacies while ignoring the men/women who would actually treat them with respect are incels and feminists really sworn enemies or do we both just really hate the worst the opposite sex has to offer?
: Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)09:30:57 No.66654183 >men on the spectrum become incels who resent women Heler because they can't find loving relationships >women on the spectrum Heler become feminists who hate men 156 KB PNG because they've fallen prey to too many sleazebags >both view themselves as victims of a society that's dominated by abusive chads/stacies while ignoring the men/women who would actually treat them with respect are incels and feminists really sworn enemies or do we both just really hate the worst the opposite sex has to offer?

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Anon wins goty | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)09:22:05 No.582: >DUDE DIVORCE SUCKS LMAO *wins GOTY* takes two i-is that all it takes? Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)09:22:46 No. >>582254486 >>582254490 >>582254492 >>58225523 no it takes two
O Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)09:22:05 No.582: >DUDE DIVORCE SUCKS LMAO *wins GOTY* takes two i-is that all it takes? Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)09:22:46 No. >>582254486 >>582254490 >>582254492 >>58225523 no it takes two

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mall santa is sad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: (7Fs4Gtvf ) E Is this a sign of the times we(..) 12/21/21(Tue)11:18:52 No.353028357 >be me, 22 >Walking through the mall with my mom and little brothers >We walk by where they have Santa sitting for pictures >1 family in line, no others 66 KB JPG >Mall is pretty dead, it's on its last legs, don't think it'll be open much longer >Family gets their photo and Santa waves at us and says merry Christmas as we walk by, we respond in kind >We sit down for about 30 minutes >Nobody coming up to Santa, his "ho ho hos" echo throughout the hardly filled mall >10 mins later still nobody in his line, he starts singing White Christmas, stops mid song >5 mins later sings Baby it's Cold Outside, again shortly stops >As we leave, he wishes us another merry Christmas This was seriously one of the absolute saddest things I've ever seen, whenever I think about it I almost feel like crying. This happy jolly old man just wants to spread Christmas cheer and he can hardly get a single family to take a photo, his great singing just echoing through the almost dead mall. This s--- has been seriously depressing me bros, any whitepills?
: Anonymous (ID: (7Fs4Gtvf ) E Is this a sign of the times we(..) 12/21/21(Tue)11:18:52 No.353028357 >be me, 22 >Walking through the mall with my mom and little brothers >We walk by where they have Santa sitting for pictures >1 family in line, no others 66 KB JPG >Mall is pretty dead, it's on its last legs, don't think it'll be open much longer >Family gets their photo and Santa waves at us and says merry Christmas as we walk by, we respond in kind >We sit down for about 30 minutes >Nobody coming up to Santa, his "ho ho hos" echo throughout the hardly filled mall >10 mins later still nobody in his line, he starts singing White Christmas, stops mid song >5 mins later sings Baby it's Cold Outside, again shortly stops >As we leave, he wishes us another merry Christmas This was seriously one of the absolute saddest things I've ever seen, whenever I think about it I almost feel like crying. This happy jolly old man just wants to spread Christmas cheer and he can hardly get a single family to take a photo, his great singing just echoing through the almost dead mall. This s--- has been seriously depressing me bros, any whitepills?

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Anon leads a surprisingly normal life. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/05/21(Sun)02:12:31 No.868008307 >be me >wake up >not obsessed with nfts >not transphobic >not a nazi >not a tankie 136 KB JPG >not obsessed with male hierarchy >don't have twitter >don't worship some mediocre pop star >don't watch annoying s-------- on youtube >life is good Just dont be a dumbass anons, it's that easy.
: Anonymous 12/05/21(Sun)02:12:31 No.868008307 >be me >wake up >not obsessed with nfts >not transphobic >not a nazi >not a tankie 136 KB JPG >not obsessed with male hierarchy >don't have twitter >don't worship some mediocre pop star >don't watch annoying s-------- on youtube >life is good Just dont be a dumbass anons, it's that easy.

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anon is a scientist | /r/Greentext

File: 1623425111132.png (81 KB, 461x720) O Anonymous 12/20/21(Mon)22:40:11 No.869006958 >be me >chemanon >labtime >idea.png >combine peroxide and sulfuric acid >piranha solution.exe >c--- is hard >dip c--- in piranha solution >c--- dissolves >penis carbon oxidized to penis carbon dioxide >femanon lab partner breathes in penis carbon dioxide >penis carbon dioxide in her mouth >mfw a girl basically has my c--- in her mouth >later virgins
File: 1623425111132.png (81 KB, 461x720) O Anonymous 12/20/21(Mon)22:40:11 No.869006958 >be me >chemanon >labtime >idea.png >combine peroxide and sulfuric acid >piranha solution.exe >c--- is hard >dip c--- in piranha solution >c--- dissolves >penis carbon oxidized to penis carbon dioxide >femanon lab partner breathes in penis carbon dioxide >penis carbon dioxide in her mouth >mfw a girl basically has my c--- in her mouth >later virgins

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Anon discovers the truth! | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 785456065 7 min. ago >Be Redditfag >Read r/greentext >Have lots of laughs >"I wonder what the real 4chan website is like?" >Go to /b/ >lt's all p---. 85.4 kB PNG Why did reddit lie to me?
Anonymous | 785456065 7 min. ago >Be Redditfag >Read r/greentext >Have lots of laughs >"I wonder what the real 4chan website is like?" >Go to /b/ >lt's all p---. 85.4 kB PNG Why did reddit lie to me?

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anon likes eggs | /r/Greentext


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Cultural differences | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)08:58:33 No.869031157 >go to supermarket for eggnog >all sold out? >see black employee >ask "do you have any eggnog?" >he leads me to the eggs 94 KB JPG
: Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)08:58:33 No.869031157 >go to supermarket for eggnog >all sold out? >see black employee >ask "do you have any eggnog?" >he leads me to the eggs 94 KB JPG

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Anon talks to a qt 3.14 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/08/19(Thu)23:24:33 No.806672993 >Be me >In school >Striking up conversation with 9/10 qt 3.14 >Things start escalating quickly >She says she wants to f--- me in the 53 KB JPG bathroom >l agree >Before lunch, I sneak into girl's bathroom with her >Right about to pop my cherry >Shots ring out >holyshit.jpg >Someone is shooting up the f------ school >murica.png >Shooter breaks into the bathroom we're in >Kicks in the stall >Shoots me in the head >l wake up from my dream right before the bullet hits >Mfw I realize my own brain just cockblocked me by shooting up my school
: Anonymous 08/08/19(Thu)23:24:33 No.806672993 >Be me >In school >Striking up conversation with 9/10 qt 3.14 >Things start escalating quickly >She says she wants to f--- me in the 53 KB JPG bathroom >l agree >Before lunch, I sneak into girl's bathroom with her >Right about to pop my cherry >Shots ring out >holyshit.jpg >Someone is shooting up the f------ school >murica.png >Shooter breaks into the bathroom we're in >Kicks in the stall >Shoots me in the head >l wake up from my dream right before the bullet hits >Mfw I realize my own brain just cockblocked me by shooting up my school

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