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Anon fuckes up | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/10/18(Fri)09:54:45 No.776769563 >be me 24yo female >virgin and actually friendless >been working the same job for 2 years and not have a single friend at work >dude that has been working with me for a year and has never 165 KB JPG acknowledged me, randomly asks me out >desperate so I say yes >had sex cuz I really wanted to loose my virginity >missed period >got pregnant >gave birth a month ago >he quit the job we shared and blocked my number haven't seen him since the birth of our son
: Anonymous 08/10/18(Fri)09:54:45 No.776769563 >be me 24yo female >virgin and actually friendless >been working the same job for 2 years and not have a single friend at work >dude that has been working with me for a year and has never 165 KB JPG acknowledged me, randomly asks me out >desperate so I say yes >had sex cuz I really wanted to loose my virginity >missed period >got pregnant >gave birth a month ago >he quit the job we shared and blocked my number haven't seen him since the birth of our son

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Anon remembers the past | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/09/18(Thu)23:31:45 No.47407001 >many years ago >i wrote a minecraft version of an imagine dragons song >haunts my memories 48 KB JPG
: Anonymous 08/09/18(Thu)23:31:45 No.47407001 >many years ago >i wrote a minecraft version of an imagine dragons song >haunts my memories 48 KB JPG

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Anon reconnects with an old friend | /r/Greentext

File: dsafvearsvszdf.jpg (34 KB, 600x600) Anonymous 10/20/21(Mon)19:14:11 No.868979630 >Dad has p------------ ex that rinsed him of a bunch of money >Years since I've spoken to her >She randomly messages me on facebook >"How you been? How's your dad?" bla bla bla >Text my dad saying she's popped up asking to talk >"Just ignore her anon she's bad news" >Curious what she wants, continue to small talk >Eventually she says "Has your dad heard about my accident?" >Accident? >Check her profile >Lost her f------ legs in a car accident at some point >Text dad again >"I couldn't give a f--- about her accident" >understandablehaveaniceday.png >Devil on my shoulder hatches a plan >Do some googling >Message her a number saying it's my dad's >It's the f------ Hot Wheels helpline >5 minutes go by >Any second now >"Do you think thatťs f------ funny anon?" I'm telling you /b/ros I haven't laughed that f------ hard in a long time. Feel like l'd just finished a workout. Anyway that was the last I heard from her as it happens. F--- that bitch.
File: dsafvearsvszdf.jpg (34 KB, 600x600) Anonymous 10/20/21(Mon)19:14:11 No.868979630 >Dad has p------------ ex that rinsed him of a bunch of money >Years since I've spoken to her >She randomly messages me on facebook >"How you been? How's your dad?" bla bla bla >Text my dad saying she's popped up asking to talk >"Just ignore her anon she's bad news" >Curious what she wants, continue to small talk >Eventually she says "Has your dad heard about my accident?" >Accident? >Check her profile >Lost her f------ legs in a car accident at some point >Text dad again >"I couldn't give a f--- about her accident" >understandablehaveaniceday.png >Devil on my shoulder hatches a plan >Do some googling >Message her a number saying it's my dad's >It's the f------ Hot Wheels helpline >5 minutes go by >Any second now >"Do you think thatťs f------ funny anon?" I'm telling you /b/ros I haven't laughed that f------ hard in a long time. Feel like l'd just finished a workout. Anyway that was the last I heard from her as it happens. F--- that bitch.

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Anon has a special place | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/10/18(Fri)14:47:42 No.776766079 >father found semen sanctuary 289 KB JPG
: Anonymous 08/10/18(Fri)14:47:42 No.776766079 >father found semen sanctuary 289 KB JPG

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Anon likes it thin | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)04:14:50 No.868991567 what would you do to her? HERT 59 KB JPG 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)04:15:29 No.868991601 Take her to a gym, and leave her there
: Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)04:14:50 No.868991567 what would you do to her? HERT 59 KB JPG 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)04:15:29 No.868991601 Take her to a gym, and leave her there

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We have an Orca within us. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/26/18(Sun)11:26:07 No.778248228 f-----.jpg 327 KB JPG >Go out of map bounds >High level enemy spawns that kills you almost immediately : Anonymous 08/26/18(Sun)11:27:34 No.778248229 >>778248228 (OP) # F--- off. There has never been a documented orca attack on a human in the wild. Orca's don't view humans as food nor as a threat. They mostly just ignore any humans in the water that we see. >>778248231 # >>778248232 # >>778248234 # >>778248235 # >>778248236 # >>778248237 # >>778248244 # >>778248245 # >>778248246 # >>778248248 # Anonymous 08/26/18(Sun)11:40:22 No.778248244 >>778248253 # >>778248254 # >>778248263 # >>778248264 # >>778248229 # >>778248272 # >>778248282 # >>778248292 # >>778248297 # >we >>778248301 # >>778248302 # >>778248310 # >>778248314 # 207 KB PNG >>778248321 # >>778248351 # >>778248397 # >>778248611 # >>778248815 # >>778248875 # >>778249065 # >>778250198 # >>778250913 # >>778251090 # >>778251464 #
: Anonymous 08/26/18(Sun)11:26:07 No.778248228 f-----.jpg 327 KB JPG >Go out of map bounds >High level enemy spawns that kills you almost immediately : Anonymous 08/26/18(Sun)11:27:34 No.778248229 >>778248228 (OP) # F--- off. There has never been a documented orca attack on a human in the wild. Orca's don't view humans as food nor as a threat. They mostly just ignore any humans in the water that we see. >>778248231 # >>778248232 # >>778248234 # >>778248235 # >>778248236 # >>778248237 # >>778248244 # >>778248245 # >>778248246 # >>778248248 # Anonymous 08/26/18(Sun)11:40:22 No.778248244 >>778248253 # >>778248254 # >>778248263 # >>778248264 # >>778248229 # >>778248272 # >>778248282 # >>778248292 # >>778248297 # >we >>778248301 # >>778248302 # >>778248310 # >>778248314 # 207 KB PNG >>778248321 # >>778248351 # >>778248397 # >>778248611 # >>778248815 # >>778248875 # >>778249065 # >>778250198 # >>778250913 # >>778251090 # >>778251464 #

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Anon has a sexual awakening | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/19/21(Sun)22:50:51 No.868944635 >be me, 18 male, tall, big >be not me, 7/10 qt fwb i have been on and off with for about 4 months >she has always joked about me killing her and her liking it if i did >get done with movie date and driving 12 KB JPG her home >ask if she were to be killed by someone how would she want to die > her "have the best day of my life with the murderer then have him stab me" >me "what about strangling?" >her "yeah that would work to" >i pull over the car and ask her if she had a good time with me >her "anon stop you're not funny" >i unbuckle my seat belt and turn towards her with a straight face > she starts crying hysterically >her "please dont kill me i dont want to die" >mfw her begging to not be killed gave me the hardest boner of my life Is this normal?
: Anonymous 12/19/21(Sun)22:50:51 No.868944635 >be me, 18 male, tall, big >be not me, 7/10 qt fwb i have been on and off with for about 4 months >she has always joked about me killing her and her liking it if i did >get done with movie date and driving 12 KB JPG her home >ask if she were to be killed by someone how would she want to die > her "have the best day of my life with the murderer then have him stab me" >me "what about strangling?" >her "yeah that would work to" >i pull over the car and ask her if she had a good time with me >her "anon stop you're not funny" >i unbuckle my seat belt and turn towards her with a straight face > she starts crying hysterically >her "please dont kill me i dont want to die" >mfw her begging to not be killed gave me the hardest boner of my life Is this normal?

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Anon is lonely | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)11:08:28 No.869012367 >Join a discord >Start talking >Chat goes dead 63 KB JPG
: Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)11:08:28 No.869012367 >Join a discord >Start talking >Chat goes dead 63 KB JPG

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Anon can’t be naked in his own room anymore | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)12:29:14 No.869000123 >b me 15 mins ago >currently like 40°c in australia >wearing only my boxer shorts >blanket over my shorts with legs and upper body hanging out so I'm basically naked 15 KB PNG >knock on the door. "Come in" I say, thinking it was a family member >11/10 opens the door >quite audibly say who the f--- are you >she's the real estate agent coming to "check the windows" >she grins and closes the door This was not a good grin bros. I don't feel comfortable in my own house anymore. She's definitely going to tell her Stacy and chad friends about this at a Christmas party
: Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)12:29:14 No.869000123 >b me 15 mins ago >currently like 40°c in australia >wearing only my boxer shorts >blanket over my shorts with legs and upper body hanging out so I'm basically naked 15 KB PNG >knock on the door. "Come in" I say, thinking it was a family member >11/10 opens the door >quite audibly say who the f--- are you >she's the real estate agent coming to "check the windows" >she grins and closes the door This was not a good grin bros. I don't feel comfortable in my own house anymore. She's definitely going to tell her Stacy and chad friends about this at a Christmas party

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Hauling freight | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/20/21(Mon)19:39:01 No.66646800 >you just moved into a new apartment >your next door neighbor is the girl you had a crush on in high school >back then, she was skinny and considered one of the prettiest girls in 969 KB PNG school >pic related is what she looks like now What would you do in this situation? : Anonymous 12/20/21(Mon)19:41:06 No.66646821 >>66647759 # >>66647940 # : Anonymous 12/20/21(Mon)20:44:09 No.66647668 >>66646800 (OP) # >fireman carry her to the chinese buffet >firemen carry back to my 250 sq ft apartment and f--- her on my futon easy >>66647755 # >>66647953 #
: Anonymous 12/20/21(Mon)19:39:01 No.66646800 >you just moved into a new apartment >your next door neighbor is the girl you had a crush on in high school >back then, she was skinny and considered one of the prettiest girls in 969 KB PNG school >pic related is what she looks like now What would you do in this situation? : Anonymous 12/20/21(Mon)19:41:06 No.66646821 >>66647759 # >>66647940 # : Anonymous 12/20/21(Mon)20:44:09 No.66647668 >>66646800 (OP) # >fireman carry her to the chinese buffet >firemen carry back to my 250 sq ft apartment and f--- her on my futon easy >>66647755 # >>66647953 #

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Anons are based | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)04:11:16 No.868991392 She felt sleep. What should I do? 1.08 MB JPG 7 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)04:13:57 No.868991532 >>868991392 (OP) # Hang yourself >Imagine the keks when she wakes up : Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)04:14:19 No.868991548 >>868991441 # close up ass shot : Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)04:16:03 No.868991631 blanket. Leave the room. Go to your own room and wait for your dad to m----- you when you fall asleep
: Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)04:11:16 No.868991392 She felt sleep. What should I do? 1.08 MB JPG 7 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)04:13:57 No.868991532 >>868991392 (OP) # Hang yourself >Imagine the keks when she wakes up : Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)04:14:19 No.868991548 >>868991441 # close up ass shot : Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)04:16:03 No.868991631 blanket. Leave the room. Go to your own room and wait for your dad to m----- you when you fall asleep

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Anon can't be threatened | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/11/20(Wed)19:20:17 No.839866040 >go to buy some weed >dealer invites me up for dabs >tells me “just a heads up I have a P gun out" >"no problem man I grew up with guns" >walk up to his apartment 28 KB JPG >don't know what to talk about, ask him what type of guns he has >"uhh I have a 9mm pistol I don't know the brand >take a dab and buy my weed I'm just now realizing that it was a threat, not a concern over whether or not I was comfortable around guns
: Anonymous 11/11/20(Wed)19:20:17 No.839866040 >go to buy some weed >dealer invites me up for dabs >tells me “just a heads up I have a P gun out" >"no problem man I grew up with guns" >walk up to his apartment 28 KB JPG >don't know what to talk about, ask him what type of guns he has >"uhh I have a 9mm pistol I don't know the brand >take a dab and buy my weed I'm just now realizing that it was a threat, not a concern over whether or not I was comfortable around guns

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Reddit ruins anons fun :( | /r/Greentext


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Licence to REEEEEEEE | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: fvgOASRk 05/02/18(Wed)05:24: >be top tier british spy >need a licence to kill 59 KB JPG
: Anonymous (ID: fvgOASRk 05/02/18(Wed)05:24: >be top tier british spy >need a licence to kill 59 KB JPG

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Anon makes a sacrifice so we can laugh | /r/Greentext

>be me, 15, virgin >gf calls me over >watch movie, bla, bla end up making out on couch >she is touching me all over body >my brain gets scrambled thinking about losing virginity >try to take her bra off >can't do it, because brain started to drift off >"You haven't unhooked lots of bra's, have you Anon?" >"Just your mom's" >wtfdidljustsay.jpg >tells me to leave >explain to her that I didn't mean it >nope.avi >breaks up with me next day >still virgin, hate my life Why do I say these things
>be me, 15, virgin >gf calls me over >watch movie, bla, bla end up making out on couch >she is touching me all over body >my brain gets scrambled thinking about losing virginity >try to take her bra off >can't do it, because brain started to drift off >"You haven't unhooked lots of bra's, have you Anon?" >"Just your mom's" >wtfdidljustsay.jpg >tells me to leave >explain to her that I didn't mean it >nope.avi >breaks up with me next day >still virgin, hate my life Why do I say these things

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The apple dosent fall far from the tree | /r/Greentext


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99% of NFTs look absolutely awful | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/20/21(Mon)14:25:05 No.66643416 >be me >work IT for company that does s--- for a few fortune 500 companies >at office xmas party, owner's son bothering the s--- out of me >stupid s--- is annoying as f---, makes 50k more a year than anyone else, and everyone has to kiss up to him because Every day. We stray further from god. 117 KB PNG daddy's money >everyone got bonuses this year upwards of 20k, he's bragging that he got a 40k bonus because "I'm that good at my job" >make small talk because I have to, ask him what he did with his bonus >"You ever hear of NFTS anon? Bored monkeys" >youfuckingdidn't.mp3 >l bought this guy for my bonus plus a few grand I've had saved" >shows me the s-------- looking, ugly ass monkey with yellowed teeth and pot eyes >"I mean, you can't top what I got, but what did you get with your bonus? My little champion here will last for ever, I doubt whatever you got would." >show him a bid I placed on a mp7 >"wha-what's that for?" >Tell the windowlicker how I was into collecting obscure firearms and it caught my eye, tell him that no one can right click my gun >sissy storms off all pouty >called in the office next day by big boss >"Anon, I have gotten reports that you were threatening to shoot up the office, you are fired, if you come here again, the police will be called." >mfw this prissy daddy boy's d------ got me fired because I told him his art scam is s--- and my gun money has to go towards keeping me afloat until I can get a new job >mfw I can't use this job as a reference despite being here for 8 years How have your holidays been going so far?
: Anonymous 12/20/21(Mon)14:25:05 No.66643416 >be me >work IT for company that does s--- for a few fortune 500 companies >at office xmas party, owner's son bothering the s--- out of me >stupid s--- is annoying as f---, makes 50k more a year than anyone else, and everyone has to kiss up to him because Every day. We stray further from god. 117 KB PNG daddy's money >everyone got bonuses this year upwards of 20k, he's bragging that he got a 40k bonus because "I'm that good at my job" >make small talk because I have to, ask him what he did with his bonus >"You ever hear of NFTS anon? Bored monkeys" >youfuckingdidn't.mp3 >l bought this guy for my bonus plus a few grand I've had saved" >shows me the s-------- looking, ugly ass monkey with yellowed teeth and pot eyes >"I mean, you can't top what I got, but what did you get with your bonus? My little champion here will last for ever, I doubt whatever you got would." >show him a bid I placed on a mp7 >"wha-what's that for?" >Tell the windowlicker how I was into collecting obscure firearms and it caught my eye, tell him that no one can right click my gun >sissy storms off all pouty >called in the office next day by big boss >"Anon, I have gotten reports that you were threatening to shoot up the office, you are fired, if you come here again, the police will be called." >mfw this prissy daddy boy's d------ got me fired because I told him his art scam is s--- and my gun money has to go towards keeping me afloat until I can get a new job >mfw I can't use this job as a reference despite being here for 8 years How have your holidays been going so far?

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Anon consumes oregano | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/22/18(Wed)09:08:49 No.777883934 >be me >am 17 >am pretty stupid and broke so decide to sell fake feels good man drugs >start filling a few bags with oregano and selling to 30 KB JPG freshmen >kids actually believe it's weed and buy some >mfw they fake being high and then come back to buy more >one day called up to principals office >there's a cop in there >they ask to search my bag >mfw all they find is oregano >mfw I say I'm making pasta after school and my friend gave me some oregano he grew to use >mfw they can't do anything so they send me back to class
: Anonymous 08/22/18(Wed)09:08:49 No.777883934 >be me >am 17 >am pretty stupid and broke so decide to sell fake feels good man drugs >start filling a few bags with oregano and selling to 30 KB JPG freshmen >kids actually believe it's weed and buy some >mfw they fake being high and then come back to buy more >one day called up to principals office >there's a cop in there >they ask to search my bag >mfw all they find is oregano >mfw I say I'm making pasta after school and my friend gave me some oregano he grew to use >mfw they can't do anything so they send me back to class

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Anon is a middle school teacher | /r/Greentext

Post your favourite pokegirl and your job Post your favourite pokegirl a(...) 12/20/21(Mon)12:51:18 No.4° I'll start: >Lillie >middle school teacher 63 KB JPG : Anonymous 12/20/21(Mon)12:52:15 No.49 >>49060224 (OP) # 809 KB PNG
Post your favourite pokegirl and your job Post your favourite pokegirl a(...) 12/20/21(Mon)12:51:18 No.4° I'll start: >Lillie >middle school teacher 63 KB JPG : Anonymous 12/20/21(Mon)12:52:15 No.49 >>49060224 (OP) # 809 KB PNG

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Anon has a routine | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Daily Routine 12/13/21(Mon)14:39:20 No.64733831 What is your daily routine look like? 1 12 Here's mine. 5:00 AM - Rise 5:02 AM - Piss 5:30 AM - Finish pissing and brush teeth with activated charcoal (not 60 KB JPG toothpaste) 5:33 AM - Cold Shower (below freezing temp) 5:33 AM - Step out of shower and shake body like a dog 5:34 AM - Arrive at gym and ingest 700 mg caffeine and eat whole chicken (alive) 5:45 AM - Lift (full body, 40 Sets of 2 half-reps) 7:30 AM - Send a Bomb Threat to a Orphanage 8:00 AM - Clock into shift at my job (the gym) 8:10 AM - Ignore customers and lift (full body, 40 sets of 2 half-reps) 9:55 AM - Clock out of work 10:00 AM - Bomb Orphanage 10:15 AM - Arrive home and speed read Dr. Seuss books 5:00 PM - Dinner (green tea and a pack of cigarettes) 5:30 PM - Listen to ASMR and edge for three hours 8:30 PM - Play chess against the man that lives in my walls 9:00 PM - F--- bitches (several) 12:00 AM - Go for a midnight run (chasing women) 1:00 AM - Edge for 3 hours 4:00 AM - Boiling hot shower 4:55 AM - Sleep
: Anonymous Daily Routine 12/13/21(Mon)14:39:20 No.64733831 What is your daily routine look like? 1 12 Here's mine. 5:00 AM - Rise 5:02 AM - Piss 5:30 AM - Finish pissing and brush teeth with activated charcoal (not 60 KB JPG toothpaste) 5:33 AM - Cold Shower (below freezing temp) 5:33 AM - Step out of shower and shake body like a dog 5:34 AM - Arrive at gym and ingest 700 mg caffeine and eat whole chicken (alive) 5:45 AM - Lift (full body, 40 Sets of 2 half-reps) 7:30 AM - Send a Bomb Threat to a Orphanage 8:00 AM - Clock into shift at my job (the gym) 8:10 AM - Ignore customers and lift (full body, 40 sets of 2 half-reps) 9:55 AM - Clock out of work 10:00 AM - Bomb Orphanage 10:15 AM - Arrive home and speed read Dr. Seuss books 5:00 PM - Dinner (green tea and a pack of cigarettes) 5:30 PM - Listen to ASMR and edge for three hours 8:30 PM - Play chess against the man that lives in my walls 9:00 PM - F--- bitches (several) 12:00 AM - Go for a midnight run (chasing women) 1:00 AM - Edge for 3 hours 4:00 AM - Boiling hot shower 4:55 AM - Sleep

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