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Anon no longer possesses virginity | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/23/19(Wed)21:25:10 No.790753828 >Girl looks at me >The image of me is now pulsing through her neurons >Technically am inside her >Later virgins 29 KB JPG
: Anonymous 01/23/19(Wed)21:25:10 No.790753828 >Girl looks at me >The image of me is now pulsing through her neurons >Technically am inside her >Later virgins 29 KB JPG

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Specious and Homosexual | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/07/20(Sat)13:25:40 No.839527345 >Be me >Make tendies >Mom working >Give mom some tendies "Thanks anon love you" Love you too mom 62 KB PNG 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 11/07/20(Sat)13:25:40 No.839527345 >Be me >Make tendies >Mom working >Give mom some tendies "Thanks anon love you" Love you too mom 62 KB PNG 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon is in a predicament | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/18/21(Sat)17:40:01 No.23651468 >trans lesbian >only want a cis lesbian gf >cis lesbians also only want cis lesbian gf Should I actually commit suicide? l'll never be loved or wanted and if I even attempt to talk to a cis lesbian l'll be seen as a 20 KB JPG monster. Why should I even live?
: Anonymous 12/18/21(Sat)17:40:01 No.23651468 >trans lesbian >only want a cis lesbian gf >cis lesbians also only want cis lesbian gf Should I actually commit suicide? l'll never be loved or wanted and if I even attempt to talk to a cis lesbian l'll be seen as a 20 KB JPG monster. Why should I even live?

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Anon is good guy | /r/Greentext

post stories when you got f----- for doing the right thing >be me >22 unifag >at party >s-------- girl tries to take me upstairs 158 KB JPG >refuse because dont want to r--- >she gets p----- >with the force of a thousand tards she punches me and breaks my jaw >in rehab for months because i turned down drunk p---- dont f------ laugh at me anons. its super f------ easy to break a jaw if you get lucky
post stories when you got f----- for doing the right thing >be me >22 unifag >at party >s-------- girl tries to take me upstairs 158 KB JPG >refuse because dont want to r--- >she gets p----- >with the force of a thousand tards she punches me and breaks my jaw >in rehab for months because i turned down drunk p---- dont f------ laugh at me anons. its super f------ easy to break a jaw if you get lucky

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Anon hates nostalgia | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/06/21(Tue)05:55:53 No.63077012 >DUDE DO YOU REMEMBER 2XXX or 1XXX I MISS MY CHILDHOOD SO MUCH BROS WHY CAN'T IT BE LIKE THE OLD DAY- 81 KB JPG SHUT THE F--- UP. I hate nostalgia tards so much. You know how tony soprano says that remember when is the lowest form of conversation? He is f------ correct, I literally cannot stand the amount of nostalgic sentiment on the internet and even IRL. F--- OFF. : Anonymous 04/06/21(Tue)05:58:48 No.63077044 >>63077012 (OP) # Do you remember when op wasnt a f-----? Yeah me neither. 185 KB PNG
: Anonymous 04/06/21(Tue)05:55:53 No.63077012 >DUDE DO YOU REMEMBER 2XXX or 1XXX I MISS MY CHILDHOOD SO MUCH BROS WHY CAN'T IT BE LIKE THE OLD DAY- 81 KB JPG SHUT THE F--- UP. I hate nostalgia tards so much. You know how tony soprano says that remember when is the lowest form of conversation? He is f------ correct, I literally cannot stand the amount of nostalgic sentiment on the internet and even IRL. F--- OFF. : Anonymous 04/06/21(Tue)05:58:48 No.63077044 >>63077012 (OP) # Do you remember when op wasnt a f-----? Yeah me neither. 185 KB PNG

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Anon goes full Potato | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/24/13(Sun)19:45:44 UTC-5 No.6215899 9 Replies: >>6215917 >>6214437 (OP) >Eating sandwich at beach >Skipping stones >Watching the sunset and thinking about life >Throw sandwich into ocean >Bite rock people saw
Anonymous 03/24/13(Sun)19:45:44 UTC-5 No.6215899 9 Replies: >>6215917 >>6214437 (OP) >Eating sandwich at beach >Skipping stones >Watching the sunset and thinking about life >Throw sandwich into ocean >Bite rock people saw

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Anon's grandpa killed fiddy men | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/14/10(Wed)18:49 No.66942573 File :1279147765740.jpg-(18 KB, 167x237, jesusfuckingchristfledgeling.jpg) >Grandfather watching me play Far Cry 2 >It's raining, and I'm in the middle of the jungle, trying to revive a fallen partner >"Keep trying, son" >I keep trying to revive him, but he dies anyway >Grandfather mutters "Aw s--- this brings me back. Son of a bitch." >my face S---, I'm sorry, grandpa
Anonymous 07/14/10(Wed)18:49 No.66942573 File :1279147765740.jpg-(18 KB, 167x237, jesusfuckingchristfledgeling.jpg) >Grandfather watching me play Far Cry 2 >It's raining, and I'm in the middle of the jungle, trying to revive a fallen partner >"Keep trying, son" >I keep trying to revive him, but he dies anyway >Grandfather mutters "Aw s--- this brings me back. Son of a bitch." >my face S---, I'm sorry, grandpa

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Anon Goes To The Bank | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/18/21(Sat)20:54:47 No.868873452 >Be me >Going to a bank to cash a check for the first time in years >Wearing black shirt, baggy sweatpants, and a black beanie >Walk up to lady working at the counter, she's busy but notices me >Jumps a bit before laughing nervously 19 KB JPG >"Jeez, is that you Anon? It's been awhile, I thought you were a robber for a second!" >Try to come up with a clever comeback to ease tension >"The only way l'd rob a place is if it were a sperm bank!" >She doesn't laugh >People around me look at me, a few people I know even >All disgusted >Quickly cash check and run out Am I autistic, Anons?
: Anonymous 12/18/21(Sat)20:54:47 No.868873452 >Be me >Going to a bank to cash a check for the first time in years >Wearing black shirt, baggy sweatpants, and a black beanie >Walk up to lady working at the counter, she's busy but notices me >Jumps a bit before laughing nervously 19 KB JPG >"Jeez, is that you Anon? It's been awhile, I thought you were a robber for a second!" >Try to come up with a clever comeback to ease tension >"The only way l'd rob a place is if it were a sperm bank!" >She doesn't laugh >People around me look at me, a few people I know even >All disgusted >Quickly cash check and run out Am I autistic, Anons?

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Gimme a K! Gimme a Y! Gimme a... | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/29/17(Wed)20:46:20 No.41441199 My life is an /r9k/ meme >nerd and outcast all my life >ignore women completely because they ignore me >start making money as 108 KB JPG web engineer for Yahoo >eventually find cute girl that seems to care about me >Get married 2006 Fast forward to last year >have 3 kids, one 10, one 8, and one 7 >oldest son plays baseball, really loves it. Athletic, highest grades in class. >Middle girl also plays sports and gets great grades >youngest son isn't doing so well. Bullied at school, somehow overweight, screams over the tiniest things >in December my wife tells me that my oldest two kids aren't mine >they're actually my former boss's So what do I do here? Kill myself, I guess?
: Anonymous 11/29/17(Wed)20:46:20 No.41441199 My life is an /r9k/ meme >nerd and outcast all my life >ignore women completely because they ignore me >start making money as 108 KB JPG web engineer for Yahoo >eventually find cute girl that seems to care about me >Get married 2006 Fast forward to last year >have 3 kids, one 10, one 8, and one 7 >oldest son plays baseball, really loves it. Athletic, highest grades in class. >Middle girl also plays sports and gets great grades >youngest son isn't doing so well. Bullied at school, somehow overweight, screams over the tiniest things >in December my wife tells me that my oldest two kids aren't mine >they're actually my former boss's So what do I do here? Kill myself, I guess?

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Anon is family man | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/18/21(Sat)18:38:57 No.868866635 >"I'm telling you Rupert, this is even worse than the time I went to that Travis Scott concert" >cuts to concert grounds >Stewie starts jumping up and down to try and see him 294 KB JPG >he stumbles as people start walking on top of him >he's flat as a pancake >he turns to the camera and says "Now I know what it's like to be Taylor Swift's chest"
: Anonymous 12/18/21(Sat)18:38:57 No.868866635 >"I'm telling you Rupert, this is even worse than the time I went to that Travis Scott concert" >cuts to concert grounds >Stewie starts jumping up and down to try and see him 294 KB JPG >he stumbles as people start walking on top of him >he's flat as a pancake >he turns to the camera and says "Now I know what it's like to be Taylor Swift's chest"

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The gay science | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/18/21(Sat)14:04:41 No.66614926 >tfw too intelligent for heterosexuality Being gay is my only hope of finding a partner even close to my intellectual league. 35 KB JPG : Anonymous 12/18/21(Sat)15:40:12 No.66616042 Are you from Ancient Greece or something
: Anonymous 12/18/21(Sat)14:04:41 No.66614926 >tfw too intelligent for heterosexuality Being gay is my only hope of finding a partner even close to my intellectual league. 35 KB JPG : Anonymous 12/18/21(Sat)15:40:12 No.66616042 Are you from Ancient Greece or something

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anon discovers the truth | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: Wz+crcd+ 04/17/19(Wed)05:40:40 No.7873168 >legal drinking/smoking/gambling age is 18 >weed is legal >prostitution is de facto legal >no prison labor or private prisons >all police departments have required civilian oversight 21 KB JPG Is this the true land of the free? 7 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous (ID: Wz+crcd+ 04/17/19(Wed)05:40:40 No.7873168 >legal drinking/smoking/gambling age is 18 >weed is legal >prostitution is de facto legal >no prison labor or private prisons >all police departments have required civilian oversight 21 KB JPG Is this the true land of the free? 7 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Perhaps it was something he said? | /r/Greentext

why are women so f------ stupi(...) 12/18/21(Sat)16:05:19 No.66614387 >be hanging out with my older sister having comfy discussion >mention how I hate the fact that I'm no girlfriend >"I'm sure you'll find someone special anon, I know you're a quiet person but you have an amazing 10 KB JPG heart and you need to find someone who appreciates that" >tell her all my friends have a gf and its not fair its just me >"its okay anon these things take time" >tell her l'm going to kill myself >she gets sad and tells me to stop talking like that, its not funny >ask her how she'd react if I put a shotgun in my mouth and blew my brains over her face or if she walked in one morning and found me swinging from | a rope >she just bursts out crying for no reason with her face in her hands and wont stop crying or even answer me Why are women so f------ stupid and illogical? You ask them one basic question and they just start crying to avoid answering it because its all they know how to do. F--- I hate women. 8 Replies View Thread
why are women so f------ stupi(...) 12/18/21(Sat)16:05:19 No.66614387 >be hanging out with my older sister having comfy discussion >mention how I hate the fact that I'm no girlfriend >"I'm sure you'll find someone special anon, I know you're a quiet person but you have an amazing 10 KB JPG heart and you need to find someone who appreciates that" >tell her all my friends have a gf and its not fair its just me >"its okay anon these things take time" >tell her l'm going to kill myself >she gets sad and tells me to stop talking like that, its not funny >ask her how she'd react if I put a shotgun in my mouth and blew my brains over her face or if she walked in one morning and found me swinging from | a rope >she just bursts out crying for no reason with her face in her hands and wont stop crying or even answer me Why are women so f------ stupid and illogical? You ask them one basic question and they just start crying to avoid answering it because its all they know how to do. F--- I hate women. 8 Replies View Thread

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Anon is sad | /r/Greentext


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Anon talk with a girl | /r/Greentext

Anonymous I 12/18/21(Sat)12:50:50 No.116060894 >>116060916 >>116060934 >>116060812 >girl asked if I had instagram last week >told her no >"I expected that" What did she mean by this?
Anonymous I 12/18/21(Sat)12:50:50 No.116060894 >>116060916 >>116060934 >>116060812 >girl asked if I had instagram last week >told her no >"I expected that" What did she mean by this?

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Anon smells nice | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/07/21(Sun)09:56:30 No.66061441 >be me >with grandma >she's watching big bang theory >such s--- >woman on tv says to guy "find out what cologne her father wears if you want to have coitus with her" 1.45 MB PNG >hmm >been hanging out with this one girl who's really close with her father >met her dad before so I ask him what cologne he uses >tells me and I get the same one and use it >takes 5 days before me and girl have sex >it was her first time >mega virgin sitcom got me laid All in a days work
: Anonymous 11/07/21(Sun)09:56:30 No.66061441 >be me >with grandma >she's watching big bang theory >such s--- >woman on tv says to guy "find out what cologne her father wears if you want to have coitus with her" 1.45 MB PNG >hmm >been hanging out with this one girl who's really close with her father >met her dad before so I ask him what cologne he uses >tells me and I get the same one and use it >takes 5 days before me and girl have sex >it was her first time >mega virgin sitcom got me laid All in a days work

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Anon hasn’t eaten in 6 days | /r/Greentext

>be me >GenYfag so still living with mom >"Anon I need money for this bill" (though she obviously didn't based on what she really used it for) >Literally give her all the cash in my wallet >Broke as f--- for the week 266.6 kB JPG >Friday comes >Walking to work without wallet for 6th day in a row >Suddenly guy in car pulls up >"Hey boy come here" >strangerdanger.gif >Realize I'm not 5 >l get closer as he pulls out several dollar bills >"Here, buy yourself a burger or something" >Gives me $3, turns the corner and drives away Pretty much makes this the best day of my week
>be me >GenYfag so still living with mom >"Anon I need money for this bill" (though she obviously didn't based on what she really used it for) >Literally give her all the cash in my wallet >Broke as f--- for the week 266.6 kB JPG >Friday comes >Walking to work without wallet for 6th day in a row >Suddenly guy in car pulls up >"Hey boy come here" >strangerdanger.gif >Realize I'm not 5 >l get closer as he pulls out several dollar bills >"Here, buy yourself a burger or something" >Gives me $3, turns the corner and drives away Pretty much makes this the best day of my week

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Anon wants to go... | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 52 minutes ago 56403233 >Wanna say "Let's go" and "okay" >Said "Let's gay" >Got weird looks
Anonymous 52 minutes ago 56403233 >Wanna say "Let's go" and "okay" >Said "Let's gay" >Got weird looks

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Anon gives a history lesson | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/07/19(Sun)00:05:50 No.804036790 >Mao sees birds eat grains >he tells 1 billion chinks to kill all the birds in China so that the birds won't eat their grains anymore >1 billion chinks kill all the birds in China 20 KB JPG >with no more birds, the insect population explodes in China >the insects eat all the grains >45 million chinks starve to death https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Four_Pests_Campaign >Mao needs steel to make buildings >he tells 1 billion chinks to stop farming and working, and instead to melt down all their metal to produce steel >1 billion chinks gather every single piece of metal in sight, including farming tools, pots, and pans >1 billion chinks chop down every single tree in sight to fuel the furnaces, and even tear down their own houses to provide more wood >in the end, 1 billion chinks produce millions of tons of useless pig iron that is completely unusable >1 billion chinks now have no homes to live in, no tools to use for farming, no pots to cook food, no wood to heat the pots, and no food to eat because the insects helped themselves to it with no birds to worry about China. The Chinese really are the stupidest m------------ in history.
: Anonymous 07/07/19(Sun)00:05:50 No.804036790 >Mao sees birds eat grains >he tells 1 billion chinks to kill all the birds in China so that the birds won't eat their grains anymore >1 billion chinks kill all the birds in China 20 KB JPG >with no more birds, the insect population explodes in China >the insects eat all the grains >45 million chinks starve to death https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Four_Pests_Campaign >Mao needs steel to make buildings >he tells 1 billion chinks to stop farming and working, and instead to melt down all their metal to produce steel >1 billion chinks gather every single piece of metal in sight, including farming tools, pots, and pans >1 billion chinks chop down every single tree in sight to fuel the furnaces, and even tear down their own houses to provide more wood >in the end, 1 billion chinks produce millions of tons of useless pig iron that is completely unusable >1 billion chinks now have no homes to live in, no tools to use for farming, no pots to cook food, no wood to heat the pots, and no food to eat because the insects helped themselves to it with no birds to worry about China. The Chinese really are the stupidest m------------ in history.

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Milfs in your area | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/18/21(Sat)08:40:18 No.66612518 >39 year old girl flirts with a 25 year old guy >she wants to feel young, innocent, naive and foolish again >he just wants a second mother YIKES! 105 KB JPG many such cases : Anonymous 12/18/21(Sat)08:41:51 No.66612528 Post step by step guide on how to get this mommy gf you speak of t. 25 yr old
: Anonymous 12/18/21(Sat)08:40:18 No.66612518 >39 year old girl flirts with a 25 year old guy >she wants to feel young, innocent, naive and foolish again >he just wants a second mother YIKES! 105 KB JPG many such cases : Anonymous 12/18/21(Sat)08:41:51 No.66612528 Post step by step guide on how to get this mommy gf you speak of t. 25 yr old

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