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Anon watches 13 reasons why | /r/Greentext


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Road to Damascus | /r/Greentext


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Doctors with borders | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/18/21(Sat)08:01:57 No.66612337 >>66611702 (OP) # >high school >adorable little asian girl lives near me >we ride the bus every morning and usually together after school >bus + train + bus again ride is 319 KB JPG like 1.5 hrs long >talk every day >after about 8 months I ask her out while we walk back home >didnt stutter, chicken or anything >actually impressed with myself >she just stops talking for a few seconds and you can see her thinking really hard >says she doesnt date white people >says its because of her strict parents >l really know its just because im a complete burnout already in high school >she could have easily became a doctor >very rarely interacted with me from there at least I actually f------ tried I guess
: Anonymous 12/18/21(Sat)08:01:57 No.66612337 >>66611702 (OP) # >high school >adorable little asian girl lives near me >we ride the bus every morning and usually together after school >bus + train + bus again ride is 319 KB JPG like 1.5 hrs long >talk every day >after about 8 months I ask her out while we walk back home >didnt stutter, chicken or anything >actually impressed with myself >she just stops talking for a few seconds and you can see her thinking really hard >says she doesnt date white people >says its because of her strict parents >l really know its just because im a complete burnout already in high school >she could have easily became a doctor >very rarely interacted with me from there at least I actually f------ tried I guess

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Anon is kinky | /r/Greentext

>kink is to be shamed for having odd kinks >don't actually have any odd kinks so make them up to be shamed for >instant rush seeing disgusted chicks saying "ew w-- are you doing anon 133 KB JPG thats weird" >time goes on >kinky weirdos join gay parades asking for acceptance >w-- >people start getting used to kinks >"kink shaming is wrong" >chicks want to be "supportive" of my weird fantasies and want me to feel "comfortable being myself" >this sucks >ask someone to shame me >it's not the same >mfw this generation ruined my f------ kink
>kink is to be shamed for having odd kinks >don't actually have any odd kinks so make them up to be shamed for >instant rush seeing disgusted chicks saying "ew w-- are you doing anon 133 KB JPG thats weird" >time goes on >kinky weirdos join gay parades asking for acceptance >w-- >people start getting used to kinks >"kink shaming is wrong" >chicks want to be "supportive" of my weird fantasies and want me to feel "comfortable being myself" >this sucks >ask someone to shame me >it's not the same >mfw this generation ruined my f------ kink

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Anon is cum sock | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/06/18(Mon)23:01:38 No.776473181 >decide to commit suicide >Try to put things in best order I possibly can >Clean up room, throw away c---sock, say goodbye to neighbors >Readytodienow.exe >Go to garage and put gun in my mouth 8 KB JPG >Took me about an hour to get preped >Friend calls me, talks me out of it >TEW I threw out my c---sock for nothing
: Anonymous 08/06/18(Mon)23:01:38 No.776473181 >decide to commit suicide >Try to put things in best order I possibly can >Clean up room, throw away c---sock, say goodbye to neighbors >Readytodienow.exe >Go to garage and put gun in my mouth 8 KB JPG >Took me about an hour to get preped >Friend calls me, talks me out of it >TEW I threw out my c---sock for nothing

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Anon goes to a party | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/21/21(Mon)14:07:11 No.64244130 >Go to party/large social situation >Girls literally just sit there and feel no pressure to do anything while the guys engage in constant psychological warfare and competition to be the most fun I hate this 619 KB JPG
: Anonymous 06/21/21(Mon)14:07:11 No.64244130 >Go to party/large social situation >Girls literally just sit there and feel no pressure to do anything while the guys engage in constant psychological warfare and competition to be the most fun I hate this 619 KB JPG

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Anon devours trees | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/16/21(Thu)21:43:30 No.64778471 Never prepared those myself before. What is the secret to make them tasty? 459 KB JPG 64 Replies / 8 Images View Thread : Anonymous 12/17/21(Fri)06:31:17 No.64782935 >>64778471 (OP) # Eat them raw while pretending to be an enormous dinosaur 62 KB JPG devouring tiny trees >>64783160 #
: Anonymous 12/16/21(Thu)21:43:30 No.64778471 Never prepared those myself before. What is the secret to make them tasty? 459 KB JPG 64 Replies / 8 Images View Thread : Anonymous 12/17/21(Fri)06:31:17 No.64782935 >>64778471 (OP) # Eat them raw while pretending to be an enormous dinosaur 62 KB JPG devouring tiny trees >>64783160 #

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Anon defeats a cryptothot using dinosaurs and autism. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: PN9YpXsp ) 09/05/21(Sun)18:34:47 No.40458494 >>40457457 (OP) # saw a girl last month. she try cancel the date within 1st hour. now she hits me up everyday. and wants me be her "friend" i got her into crypto, and showed her 1 of my stacks. she figured out i made 40 grand this month. now i just send her dinosaur pictures. and tell her im autistic. it's driving her crazy. she tried to f--- me thurs and friday night calling me up giving me the "im lonely.." "my bf.. "i think" isnt paying attention to me." bitch. have a f------ stegosaurus. have a f------ triceratops.. >>40458543 # >>40458566 # >>40458649 # >>40459728 # >>40460038 # >>40460097 # >>40460234 # >>40460287 # >>40460444 # >>40460529 # >>40460556 # >>40462971 #
: Anonymous (ID: PN9YpXsp ) 09/05/21(Sun)18:34:47 No.40458494 >>40457457 (OP) # saw a girl last month. she try cancel the date within 1st hour. now she hits me up everyday. and wants me be her "friend" i got her into crypto, and showed her 1 of my stacks. she figured out i made 40 grand this month. now i just send her dinosaur pictures. and tell her im autistic. it's driving her crazy. she tried to f--- me thurs and friday night calling me up giving me the "im lonely.." "my bf.. "i think" isnt paying attention to me." bitch. have a f------ stegosaurus. have a f------ triceratops.. >>40458543 # >>40458566 # >>40458649 # >>40459728 # >>40460038 # >>40460097 # >>40460234 # >>40460287 # >>40460444 # >>40460529 # >>40460556 # >>40462971 #

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Anon gets robbed | /r/Greentext

U Anonymous 10/27/16(Thu)07:10:15 No.32360229 File: 223211b5a1.png (440 KB, 632x604) >>32360378 >>32360816 Not really cringe, but I have a story from a friend about missing social cues. >Walking around town late at night >Reach a guy sitting on the sidewalk, he asks me for money >"Sorry man, I don't have any money." >"I have a knife." >"Nah, that's okay man, I don't need a knife" >Walk away, don't realize I was getting robbed until later that night
U Anonymous 10/27/16(Thu)07:10:15 No.32360229 File: 223211b5a1.png (440 KB, 632x604) >>32360378 >>32360816 Not really cringe, but I have a story from a friend about missing social cues. >Walking around town late at night >Reach a guy sitting on the sidewalk, he asks me for money >"Sorry man, I don't have any money." >"I have a knife." >"Nah, that's okay man, I don't need a knife" >Walk away, don't realize I was getting robbed until later that night

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Anon and his wife | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/06/18(Mon)13:28:07 No.776407860 >come home after work >wife is p----- off at me >investigate to find out why >she tells me we haven't tried anything new in bed >"oh s---, ok" >we start playing and messing around >she tells me she wants me to eat her ass >"sure, why not?" >she turns over, ass in the air, spreads ass >go down to brown town >she's moaning and staring to push on the back of my head not letting me back up for a breath >tells me to lay on my back >she stands over me and squats down >ass in face >proceeds to ram that hole with my tongue >i hear her giggle >hear her stomach make a weird noise >she lets loose and farts in my mouth >i try to push her off but the gas won't stop >eventually she rolls over laughing >i sit up >look directly into the camera >"the thing's i do for love" >live studio audience explodes with laughter and cheers >zooms out >i'm on a set with my tv wife laughing and waving to the audience as we're wrapping up this week's episode >wake up
: Anonymous 08/06/18(Mon)13:28:07 No.776407860 >come home after work >wife is p----- off at me >investigate to find out why >she tells me we haven't tried anything new in bed >"oh s---, ok" >we start playing and messing around >she tells me she wants me to eat her ass >"sure, why not?" >she turns over, ass in the air, spreads ass >go down to brown town >she's moaning and staring to push on the back of my head not letting me back up for a breath >tells me to lay on my back >she stands over me and squats down >ass in face >proceeds to ram that hole with my tongue >i hear her giggle >hear her stomach make a weird noise >she lets loose and farts in my mouth >i try to push her off but the gas won't stop >eventually she rolls over laughing >i sit up >look directly into the camera >"the thing's i do for love" >live studio audience explodes with laughter and cheers >zooms out >i'm on a set with my tv wife laughing and waving to the audience as we're wrapping up this week's episode >wake up

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Anon gets a kiss on b day the | /r/Greentext


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Anon makes his own snacks | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/16/21(Thu)14:44:17 No.17135950 >favorite snack gets discontinued 31 KB JPG : Anonymous 12/16/21(Thu)14:49:07 No.17135960 i dont eat snacks : Anonymous 12/16/21(Thu)14:54:52 No.17135971 >>17135950 (OP) # make ur own >>17135973 # : Anonymous 12/16/21(Thu)14:56:07 No.17135973 >>17135971 # F--- you f----- you try making homemade Orbitz and then suck my d--- as an apology when you fail like a bitch. >>17137046 # >>17140962 #
: Anonymous 12/16/21(Thu)14:44:17 No.17135950 >favorite snack gets discontinued 31 KB JPG : Anonymous 12/16/21(Thu)14:49:07 No.17135960 i dont eat snacks : Anonymous 12/16/21(Thu)14:54:52 No.17135971 >>17135950 (OP) # make ur own >>17135973 # : Anonymous 12/16/21(Thu)14:56:07 No.17135973 >>17135971 # F--- you f----- you try making homemade Orbitz and then suck my d--- as an apology when you fail like a bitch. >>17137046 # >>17140962 #

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Anon goes hunting | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/14/12(Sat)11:27 No.10543005 This board is the closest thing to /outdoors/ so I though I might want to post this here. >Going boar hunting with friend. >He said he wants to bring his animal cause it can hunt effectively >"What's it's name" >"Fluffy" he says >That's a strange name for a dog a think >Comes back with a 140 Ib cougar >l almost shoulder my rifle We didn't even get to shoot anything. It would just run into the wood's and and drag back dead boar's. It's almost cheating. We live in Ohio, so it's legal to own a cougar btw. Blackadder !hDddafoU.A 01/14/12(Sat)11:29 No.10543013 File1326558540.gif-(700 KB, 480x270, 1326421282530.gif) Holy balls Anonymous 01/14/12(Sat)11:47 No.10543108 File1326559673.png-(55 KB, 493x425, 1310054150718.png) >upstanding african american gentlment break into your house >ITS A F------ COUGAR AIN'T THAT SOME S---?
Anonymous 01/14/12(Sat)11:27 No.10543005 This board is the closest thing to /outdoors/ so I though I might want to post this here. >Going boar hunting with friend. >He said he wants to bring his animal cause it can hunt effectively >"What's it's name" >"Fluffy" he says >That's a strange name for a dog a think >Comes back with a 140 Ib cougar >l almost shoulder my rifle We didn't even get to shoot anything. It would just run into the wood's and and drag back dead boar's. It's almost cheating. We live in Ohio, so it's legal to own a cougar btw. Blackadder !hDddafoU.A 01/14/12(Sat)11:29 No.10543013 File1326558540.gif-(700 KB, 480x270, 1326421282530.gif) Holy balls Anonymous 01/14/12(Sat)11:47 No.10543108 File1326559673.png-(55 KB, 493x425, 1310054150718.png) >upstanding african american gentlment break into your house >ITS A F------ COUGAR AIN'T THAT SOME S---?

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Anon is facing a moral dilemma | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/17/21(Fri)20:39:32 No.868786509 >found hot hentai >after finished i noticed a bruise in her neck oh no >reread the whole thing >she was already not moving from page 10 22 KB JPG did i just get off to necrophilia, bros? View Thread
: Anonymous 12/17/21(Fri)20:39:32 No.868786509 >found hot hentai >after finished i noticed a bruise in her neck oh no >reread the whole thing >she was already not moving from page 10 22 KB JPG did i just get off to necrophilia, bros? View Thread

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A streak of bad luck | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/17/21(Fri)21:13:06 No.868807689 >be me >take a s--- >realize I have no toilet paper left >oh well, I'll wash it out in the shower >get in shower >get preoccupied with listening to podcast They're Waiting 66 KB JPG >just stand there for 20 minutes >get out of the shower, gf is laying on bed >sit on her and start moving back an fourth >"dry my ass babe!" >she looks annoyed >get up, see massive s--- streak on her shirt >"ANON WTE IS THAT S---?" >realize I forgot to wash my ass in the shower >stand in silence >get dressed, leave the room >she locks it behind me Anons how do I fix this
: Anonymous 12/17/21(Fri)21:13:06 No.868807689 >be me >take a s--- >realize I have no toilet paper left >oh well, I'll wash it out in the shower >get in shower >get preoccupied with listening to podcast They're Waiting 66 KB JPG >just stand there for 20 minutes >get out of the shower, gf is laying on bed >sit on her and start moving back an fourth >"dry my ass babe!" >she looks annoyed >get up, see massive s--- streak on her shirt >"ANON WTE IS THAT S---?" >realize I forgot to wash my ass in the shower >stand in silence >get dressed, leave the room >she locks it behind me Anons how do I fix this

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Antichrist drops in to complain | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/22/21(Thu)13:23:16 No.64665666 >be me >highschool >try to get girlfriend >"sorry anon let's stay friends" >becomes a nun >uni >have a gf >"sorry anon I felt the calling" 27 KB JPG >becomes a nun >make friends with lady at the cafe near my home >ask on a date >"oh anon pardon me, I can't" >ofc she would be a nun How the f--- am I supposed to compete with Jesus? : Anonymous 07/22/21(Thu)13:27:57 No.64665698 >>64665666 (OP) # >666 Lmao get f----- antichrist
: Anonymous 07/22/21(Thu)13:23:16 No.64665666 >be me >highschool >try to get girlfriend >"sorry anon let's stay friends" >becomes a nun >uni >have a gf >"sorry anon I felt the calling" 27 KB JPG >becomes a nun >make friends with lady at the cafe near my home >ask on a date >"oh anon pardon me, I can't" >ofc she would be a nun How the f--- am I supposed to compete with Jesus? : Anonymous 07/22/21(Thu)13:27:57 No.64665698 >>64665666 (OP) # >666 Lmao get f----- antichrist

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German Goy breaks the rules | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: Haz1Rpl ) 07/31/18(Tue)02:47:49 No.180658807 >Be German >Pass Jewish person on street >Get arested for not apologizing for the holocaust 32 KB JPG
: Anonymous (ID: Haz1Rpl ) 07/31/18(Tue)02:47:49 No.180658807 >Be German >Pass Jewish person on street >Get arested for not apologizing for the holocaust 32 KB JPG

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I'm sure redditors can relate to anon's situation | /r/Greentext


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Anon is flat-earther | /r/Greentext

>Be me >Flat Earther >Friend works at NASA >Gives me a ticket to go to outer space >He said it'll change my views >Don'tbelievehim.png 65 KB JPG >Go to outer space >See that the Earth is round >wtfman.jpg >This can't be real >Realize NASA must have hacked my eyes
>Be me >Flat Earther >Friend works at NASA >Gives me a ticket to go to outer space >He said it'll change my views >Don'tbelievehim.png 65 KB JPG >Go to outer space >See that the Earth is round >wtfman.jpg >This can't be real >Realize NASA must have hacked my eyes

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Deep in the heart attack of Texas | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 07/08/21(Thu)10:06:52 No.16398753 File: 1597772991157.jpg (27 KB, 600x600) >>16397611 (OP) # >be on road trip >in texas >decide to stop at a steakhouse in east texas b------ nowhere >they have a salad bar >pasta salad >marshmallow salad >potato salad >macaroni salad >fruit salad with whipped cream >there's no vegetables at the salad bar
O Anonymous 07/08/21(Thu)10:06:52 No.16398753 File: 1597772991157.jpg (27 KB, 600x600) >>16397611 (OP) # >be on road trip >in texas >decide to stop at a steakhouse in east texas b------ nowhere >they have a salad bar >pasta salad >marshmallow salad >potato salad >macaroni salad >fruit salad with whipped cream >there's no vegetables at the salad bar

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