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Nothing to lose | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/28/21(Wed)15:20:48 No.853184775 File: 1611427684701.jpg (57 KB, 275x275) >>853183576 >be me in college >public speaking class >have idea >tell prof on 1st day I stutter sometimes >it's ok anon we'll get through it >really lay it on >3 minutes per paragraph in front of 40 peers >next week do a little better >can still see pain in the faces of kids when I stammer for 10 seconds on a word >prof encourages me every time >she even kicked a kid out of class for saying "come on" under his breath >improving every class >almost no stuttering now >final speech give a perfect oration for me, didn't have to fake stutter at all >get an A mfw never stuttered in my life
Anonymous 04/28/21(Wed)15:20:48 No.853184775 File: 1611427684701.jpg (57 KB, 275x275) >>853183576 >be me in college >public speaking class >have idea >tell prof on 1st day I stutter sometimes >it's ok anon we'll get through it >really lay it on >3 minutes per paragraph in front of 40 peers >next week do a little better >can still see pain in the faces of kids when I stammer for 10 seconds on a word >prof encourages me every time >she even kicked a kid out of class for saying "come on" under his breath >improving every class >almost no stuttering now >final speech give a perfect oration for me, didn't have to fake stutter at all >get an A mfw never stuttered in my life

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Anon is a prankster | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/01/21(Thu)22:15:58 No.851084157 > be me, in the kitchen >see little brother How to prenk >he ripped a sugar packet open and just ate it Step 1: >confused.wma >an idea pops in my head >"Hey little bro want to taste something 54 KB JPG sweeter than sugar?" >"Okay anon" >hand him bottle of vanilla extract >tell him to smell it first >he takes a big gulp He isn't talking to me View Thread
: Anonymous 04/01/21(Thu)22:15:58 No.851084157 > be me, in the kitchen >see little brother How to prenk >he ripped a sugar packet open and just ate it Step 1: >confused.wma >an idea pops in my head >"Hey little bro want to taste something 54 KB JPG sweeter than sugar?" >"Okay anon" >hand him bottle of vanilla extract >tell him to smell it first >he takes a big gulp He isn't talking to me View Thread

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Anon finds a way to profit off weebs | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/01/21 (Wed)00:34:23 No.65213888 >learn to do anime girl voice >Pay some dude to make me a vtuber model >Start streaming, gain a small fanbase >Start onlyfans >Get 15k+ a month from posing a 3D model for onlyfans and sexting losers 42 KB JPG By the time this cashcow runs dry l'll be set for life, I guess life ain't so bad
: Anonymous 09/01/21 (Wed)00:34:23 No.65213888 >learn to do anime girl voice >Pay some dude to make me a vtuber model >Start streaming, gain a small fanbase >Start onlyfans >Get 15k+ a month from posing a 3D model for onlyfans and sexting losers 42 KB JPG By the time this cashcow runs dry l'll be set for life, I guess life ain't so bad

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Anon gets ghosted | /r/Greentext

>be me >about to sleep one night >start thinking how it will feel like to get a b------ >suddenly get the sensation of getting my d--- sucked (i wasnt touching it) 1.35 MB GIF >c--- buckets W-- bros, did i got a b------ from a ghost? I swear it really felt like i was getting my d--- sucked.
>be me >about to sleep one night >start thinking how it will feel like to get a b------ >suddenly get the sensation of getting my d--- sucked (i wasnt touching it) 1.35 MB GIF >c--- buckets W-- bros, did i got a b------ from a ghost? I swear it really felt like i was getting my d--- sucked.

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Anon downloads free Minecraft | /r/Greentext


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Anon has an existential crisis | /r/Greentext

>turn 30 >feels like yesterday that I was 20 >at the blink of an eye I will be 40 >soon after, I will die >entire existence has been no different than any animal, bacteria, or any other thing 377 KB JPG >not an iota of difference to the universe >everyone I know will die soon >never mattered and never will to anyone except for a handful of people I came across during my moment's life >the universe itself will die >we are all nothing more than a short glitch in the universe Tell me /b/ how is the entire humanity being controlled as much as it is?? Billions of beings with awareness that nothing really matters and everything they care about will die are fully locked into caring about their jobs and movies they like and what their neighbor thinks about their new car. How is the planet not in complete chaos?? Why is every being with such critical information about death not completely unchained, ransacking the world for any pleasure it can have while it lasts???
>turn 30 >feels like yesterday that I was 20 >at the blink of an eye I will be 40 >soon after, I will die >entire existence has been no different than any animal, bacteria, or any other thing 377 KB JPG >not an iota of difference to the universe >everyone I know will die soon >never mattered and never will to anyone except for a handful of people I came across during my moment's life >the universe itself will die >we are all nothing more than a short glitch in the universe Tell me /b/ how is the entire humanity being controlled as much as it is?? Billions of beings with awareness that nothing really matters and everything they care about will die are fully locked into caring about their jobs and movies they like and what their neighbor thinks about their new car. How is the planet not in complete chaos?? Why is every being with such critical information about death not completely unchained, ransacking the world for any pleasure it can have while it lasts???

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Anon learns how to mimic normies | /r/Greentext

File: dbuoije-df2d1e1f-8076-450().png (417 KB, 483x484) O Anonymous 10/06/20(Tue)21:51:14 No.60353915 [Reply] > 2>60354085 >>60354811 >>60354712 >be me, on the spectrum >learn to mimic normie behavior almost perfectly >treat social interaction like i'm a spy infiltrating a foreign entity >start listening to normie music >literally google s--- like "how to dress well" and "how to make small talk" >ffw to now: dress like a f------ on weekends, talk about Sports-Ball with unsuspecting normals, even flirt with roasties when i feel brave enough >nobody suspects a f------ thing who here /undercover/?
File: dbuoije-df2d1e1f-8076-450().png (417 KB, 483x484) O Anonymous 10/06/20(Tue)21:51:14 No.60353915 [Reply] > 2>60354085 >>60354811 >>60354712 >be me, on the spectrum >learn to mimic normie behavior almost perfectly >treat social interaction like i'm a spy infiltrating a foreign entity >start listening to normie music >literally google s--- like "how to dress well" and "how to make small talk" >ffw to now: dress like a f------ on weekends, talk about Sports-Ball with unsuspecting normals, even flirt with roasties when i feel brave enough >nobody suspects a f------ thing who here /undercover/?

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Why Do Women Care About Netflix | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/14/21(Thu)10:51:43 No.65758276 >bring a date over to my apartment to watch kino >pull my 14 tb hd > she starts giving me looks and says "don't you have Netflix?" >say "no why would I waste money 96 KB JPG on that" >she pulls her phone and starts texting furiously >30 mins later after we started kino she says "oh sorry anon, I forgot that my nightshift was today" and leaves >it has been 2 weeks and I haven't heard from her since What is wrong with women? Why are they attracted to gimmicks like netflix?
: Anonymous 10/14/21(Thu)10:51:43 No.65758276 >bring a date over to my apartment to watch kino >pull my 14 tb hd > she starts giving me looks and says "don't you have Netflix?" >say "no why would I waste money 96 KB JPG on that" >she pulls her phone and starts texting furiously >30 mins later after we started kino she says "oh sorry anon, I forgot that my nightshift was today" and leaves >it has been 2 weeks and I haven't heard from her since What is wrong with women? Why are they attracted to gimmicks like netflix?

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Anon describes 90% of 4chan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/30/21(Tue)03:21:23 No.62973896 >be me >why wopemann no touch penis waaaah >sad and virgin shoudl i just kill mytlsef bros??? 59 KB JPG View Thread
: Anonymous 03/30/21(Tue)03:21:23 No.62973896 >be me >why wopemann no touch penis waaaah >sad and virgin shoudl i just kill mytlsef bros??? 59 KB JPG View Thread

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Anon uncovers the truth | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/20/21(Sun)21:19:38 No.64234583 Imagine if everyone else other than you on this board is actually a normie in real life and they were just playing along with the r9k Damy stock photo culture >what are you doing anon? >oh it's just this funny internet 128 KB JPG meme where we pretend to be virgins haha. >what? Why would you do that? >its just funny. We make fun of each other but we all know we are all just lying >look at this guy! Haha! He's saying he's 25 year old kissless virgin? >What? Does that kind of person even exist? >of course not. They are just saying it as a meme. here let me reply to him >'same. I am 5'6 and ugly. It's over for me. I cant even afford plastic surgery.' >Anon just come to the bed with me >yea yea. after just one more post lol
: Anonymous 06/20/21(Sun)21:19:38 No.64234583 Imagine if everyone else other than you on this board is actually a normie in real life and they were just playing along with the r9k Damy stock photo culture >what are you doing anon? >oh it's just this funny internet 128 KB JPG meme where we pretend to be virgins haha. >what? Why would you do that? >its just funny. We make fun of each other but we all know we are all just lying >look at this guy! Haha! He's saying he's 25 year old kissless virgin? >What? Does that kind of person even exist? >of course not. They are just saying it as a meme. here let me reply to him >'same. I am 5'6 and ugly. It's over for me. I cant even afford plastic surgery.' >Anon just come to the bed with me >yea yea. after just one more post lol

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Anon is ready to get topped now. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/12/21(Sun)13:22:56 No.66528839 >find cute, average looking girl on Tinder we share several obscure interests with, going by our bios >get excited, swipe right on her >48 hoursl later, we still haven't matched 35 KB JPG She swiped left on me, didn't she? Even an average woman l'd mesh well with would rather get pumped and dumped by a Chad that she has no common ground with. God, I hate women so f------ much. : Anonymous 12/12/21(Sun)13:24:16 No.66528853 >inb4 the algorithm is hiding your profile from her соре
: Anonymous 12/12/21(Sun)13:22:56 No.66528839 >find cute, average looking girl on Tinder we share several obscure interests with, going by our bios >get excited, swipe right on her >48 hoursl later, we still haven't matched 35 KB JPG She swiped left on me, didn't she? Even an average woman l'd mesh well with would rather get pumped and dumped by a Chad that she has no common ground with. God, I hate women so f------ much. : Anonymous 12/12/21(Sun)13:24:16 No.66528853 >inb4 the algorithm is hiding your profile from her соре

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Anon is Handsome | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Thank you, drunk lady 10/14/21(Thu)13:15:51 No.65759683 >Be me, 2 years ago >Unlocking my Bike at 3:30am, ready to go home after a night out >Notice a girl coming walking out of the bar, visibly drunk AF. >She stop right next to me, and yell (HOLLY S--- YOURE HANDSOME!!).mp3 69 KB JPG >Ask if she want to come home with me >Says no because she have a bf but she still wanted to let me know that Im handsome >BF arrive (Whats goin on?).mp3 >Her (Look hes handsome).mp3 >BF look at me (Yeah he is).mp3 >They walk away >Even tho they probably only said that because she was drunk and her bf just went along with it, It still make me feel good to this day. >Thank you, drunk lady!
: Anonymous Thank you, drunk lady 10/14/21(Thu)13:15:51 No.65759683 >Be me, 2 years ago >Unlocking my Bike at 3:30am, ready to go home after a night out >Notice a girl coming walking out of the bar, visibly drunk AF. >She stop right next to me, and yell (HOLLY S--- YOURE HANDSOME!!).mp3 69 KB JPG >Ask if she want to come home with me >Says no because she have a bf but she still wanted to let me know that Im handsome >BF arrive (Whats goin on?).mp3 >Her (Look hes handsome).mp3 >BF look at me (Yeah he is).mp3 >They walk away >Even tho they probably only said that because she was drunk and her bf just went along with it, It still make me feel good to this day. >Thank you, drunk lady!

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Balls to the wall | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/12/21(Sun)11:42:44 No.66533365 >DID YOU SEE THE GAME LAST NIGH- no I did not. why the f--- are normies so obsessed with sportsball? It's gay as f--- 242 KB PNG >00H BOY I LOVE WATCHING THE BIG MUSCULAR MEN THROW AROUND THE PIGSKIN, AHHH I'M GONNA C-- WATCHING THEIR BIG SWEATY BODIES
: Anonymous 12/12/21(Sun)11:42:44 No.66533365 >DID YOU SEE THE GAME LAST NIGH- no I did not. why the f--- are normies so obsessed with sportsball? It's gay as f--- 242 KB PNG >00H BOY I LOVE WATCHING THE BIG MUSCULAR MEN THROW AROUND THE PIGSKIN, AHHH I'M GONNA C-- WATCHING THEIR BIG SWEATY BODIES

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Golden years | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/12/21(Sun)11:26:21 No.66533158 >install Happn two days ago >match with a shitload of 35-38yo single women >some of the look pretty good >got 5 numbers within a day >just avoid steering the convo into the direction of sex LET THE GOOÐ TIMES ROLL 1.3 MB PNG >avoid making cheap sexual innuendo's like most c---- do >eventually they figure I'm not after sex specifically and they invite me over >f----- one the same evening >set up 3 dates for next week >they're all chill and just want to hang out without any strings attached >watch Formula 1 with one today while she massages my shoulders and brings food >f--- her afterwards to celebrate AMX's victory Why the f--- did no one tell me about this? : Anonymous 12/12/21(Sun)11:28:39 No.66533186 >>66533158 (OP) # I'm not downloading your s----- app, shill
: Anonymous 12/12/21(Sun)11:26:21 No.66533158 >install Happn two days ago >match with a shitload of 35-38yo single women >some of the look pretty good >got 5 numbers within a day >just avoid steering the convo into the direction of sex LET THE GOOÐ TIMES ROLL 1.3 MB PNG >avoid making cheap sexual innuendo's like most c---- do >eventually they figure I'm not after sex specifically and they invite me over >f----- one the same evening >set up 3 dates for next week >they're all chill and just want to hang out without any strings attached >watch Formula 1 with one today while she massages my shoulders and brings food >f--- her afterwards to celebrate AMX's victory Why the f--- did no one tell me about this? : Anonymous 12/12/21(Sun)11:28:39 No.66533186 >>66533158 (OP) # I'm not downloading your s----- app, shill

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Anon has small pp energy | /r/Greentext

>be tall >have big pp >5/10 face >1/10 personality >never get any girls 105 KB JPG What am I supposed to do, go around telling women I have a big d---? Where did this notion come from that tall guys with big d---- can get laid easily? Why does hollywood promote this idea so much??
>be tall >have big pp >5/10 face >1/10 personality >never get any girls 105 KB JPG What am I supposed to do, go around telling women I have a big d---? Where did this notion come from that tall guys with big d---- can get laid easily? Why does hollywood promote this idea so much??

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Anon Cringes | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/12/21(Tue)22:21:03 No.864910750 survival stories thread >be me >depressed, suicidal >make plan to kill myself >get everything ready, set date >day comes 18 KB JPG >write long and heartfelt suicide note >leave for an hour or so >come back >read suicide note >think it's cringe >think suicide is cringe >don't kill myself >next day start working out >ffw 1 year, have hot girlfriend and stable job >ffe 15 years l'm married, have a daughter and another baby on the way >all thanks to thinking my gay-ass letter was cringe
: Anonymous 10/12/21(Tue)22:21:03 No.864910750 survival stories thread >be me >depressed, suicidal >make plan to kill myself >get everything ready, set date >day comes 18 KB JPG >write long and heartfelt suicide note >leave for an hour or so >come back >read suicide note >think it's cringe >think suicide is cringe >don't kill myself >next day start working out >ffw 1 year, have hot girlfriend and stable job >ffe 15 years l'm married, have a daughter and another baby on the way >all thanks to thinking my gay-ass letter was cringe

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Anon hates being called Larold | /r/Greentext


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Twist and shout | /r/Greentext


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Anon meets the least insane vr chat users | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/12/21(Sun)07:54:33 No.66527675 >be me >board one night >log onto VR Chat to see what other people on the internet are like >join a world that's called 'chill and movies' or some s--- 5 KB JPG >"Seems ok." >expect to maybe meet some people and have nice conversations >get into world >the walls are covered in pictures of people in edgy anime and cat-boy/girl avatars >"This is just one room right?" >walk further in >it's everywhere >so many pictures of e-couples who will never meet >find people >come across a couple moaning to each-other (probably while masturbating) >there's more people doing similar things and just overall be weird as f--- >get uncomfortable out and alt-f4 the f--- out of there >uninstall game >never try socializing with random people online again unless it's with friends Is everyone like this on there? Is that what a degenerate looks like? Why are people like this?
: Anonymous 12/12/21(Sun)07:54:33 No.66527675 >be me >board one night >log onto VR Chat to see what other people on the internet are like >join a world that's called 'chill and movies' or some s--- 5 KB JPG >"Seems ok." >expect to maybe meet some people and have nice conversations >get into world >the walls are covered in pictures of people in edgy anime and cat-boy/girl avatars >"This is just one room right?" >walk further in >it's everywhere >so many pictures of e-couples who will never meet >find people >come across a couple moaning to each-other (probably while masturbating) >there's more people doing similar things and just overall be weird as f--- >get uncomfortable out and alt-f4 the f--- out of there >uninstall game >never try socializing with random people online again unless it's with friends Is everyone like this on there? Is that what a degenerate looks like? Why are people like this?

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Anon farts on a girl | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/11/21(Sat)20:33:56 No.868434403 >be me >coworker goes around making jokes >everyone laughs >he farts on people >they laugh >idea.jpg >l fart on the girl I like (she laughs when he does it) THE AMBALAMPS Bring them 866 KB PNG >she calls me disgusting Why? 9 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 12/11/21(Sat)20:33:56 No.868434403 >be me >coworker goes around making jokes >everyone laughs >he farts on people >they laugh >idea.jpg >l fart on the girl I like (she laughs when he does it) THE AMBALAMPS Bring them 866 KB PNG >she calls me disgusting Why? 9 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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