Greentext Stories - Images

Sorted By:

(Fem)anon is single | /r/Greentext

>be 6'3" lean educated with a good job with a 6.5/10 face >failure on tinder, bumble, hinge >W-- >create a femanon account to see what I'm up against Not to sound like an ass /b/ but I am 77 KB JPG definitely above average. Not top 10% but definitely in the top 25%. Makes no sense! >tell myself it's because I'm not white I. Smh racisssss >get ready to delete the account >hold on! I still remember the one time a girl complimented me. Feltsogoodman >stay on as femanon and match some kings to compliment them >tell them l'm not looking for anything so they shouldn't expect anything but compliment the f--- out of them I know I'm probably giving false hope to some but hope some dudes are feeling a little better about themselves. >inb4 gay

>be 6'3" lean educated with a good job with a 6.5/10 face >failure on tinder, bumble, hinge >W-- >create a femanon account to see what I'm up against Not to sound like an ass /b/ but I am 77 KB JPG definitely above average. Not top 10% but definitely in the top 25%. Makes no sense! >tell myself it's because I'm not white I. Smh racisssss >get ready to delete the account >hold on! I still remember the one time a girl complimented me. Feltsogoodman >stay on as femanon and match some kings to compliment them >tell them l'm not looking for anything so they shouldn't expect anything but compliment the f--- out of them I know I'm probably giving false hope to some but hope some dudes are feeling a little better about themselves. >inb4 gay

Greentext Stories

reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

anon likes ed sheeran | /r/Greentext

Greentext Stories

reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon is Eleven | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/25/18(Sat)05:00:20 No.47729096 most retarded moments thread ? Merthern Virginia > be me > be 11 > in car with family heading home from county fair 100 KB JPG > dad wants dinner > mom hands me the phone book and tells me to look up the number for the place dad wanted so she could check the wait > for whatever f------ reason I hear "get rid of this" > roll down the window and chunk the phone book as we're going 80 on the interstate I didn't get dinner that night

: Anonymous 08/25/18(Sat)05:00:20 No.47729096 most retarded moments thread ? Merthern Virginia > be me > be 11 > in car with family heading home from county fair 100 KB JPG > dad wants dinner > mom hands me the phone book and tells me to look up the number for the place dad wanted so she could check the wait > for whatever f------ reason I hear "get rid of this" > roll down the window and chunk the phone book as we're going 80 on the interstate I didn't get dinner that night

Greentext Stories

reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon tries to trade bants with his girlfriend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/09/21(Thu)09:49:46 No.25444378 >gf calls my foreskin d--- cheese stick or smelly stick all the time >make one joke about her having beef curtains >she ignored me for a whole week that's women for you >>25444382 # >>25444383 # >>25444397 # >>25444399 # >>25444461 #

: Anonymous 12/09/21(Thu)09:49:46 No.25444378 >gf calls my foreskin d--- cheese stick or smelly stick all the time >make one joke about her having beef curtains >she ignored me for a whole week that's women for you >>25444382 # >>25444383 # >>25444397 # >>25444399 # >>25444461 #

Greentext Stories

reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext product rectangle font line

Anon needs help | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/09/21(Thu)18:51:34 No.868304057 really need some help bros. I decided that I needed some quick cash to fund my emo rap career >Meet old Russian man on this amateur h----- site >He said he wants a young hung stud for his wife >Go to his mansion in Orange County 28 KB JPG >There is no wife >Only this creepy old guy >He shows me a suitcase full of dollars >Tells me there's 25k in the suitcase >Says he will give it to me if I let him top me and finish him with a r----- >He made me crossdress as a sissy maid >l had the dirtiest and most painful sex ever with this old f-- >after he came down my throat he pushed me out the door >Threw the suitcase at me >Told me he had the "love bug" >Turns out I have aids >Turns out the money was counterfeit >The old man recorded the whole thing with a secret camera and now it's all over the Russian internet apparently I should probably kys View Thread

: Anonymous 12/09/21(Thu)18:51:34 No.868304057 really need some help bros. I decided that I needed some quick cash to fund my emo rap career >Meet old Russian man on this amateur h----- site >He said he wants a young hung stud for his wife >Go to his mansion in Orange County 28 KB JPG >There is no wife >Only this creepy old guy >He shows me a suitcase full of dollars >Tells me there's 25k in the suitcase >Says he will give it to me if I let him top me and finish him with a r----- >He made me crossdress as a sissy maid >l had the dirtiest and most painful sex ever with this old f-- >after he came down my throat he pushed me out the door >Threw the suitcase at me >Told me he had the "love bug" >Turns out I have aids >Turns out the money was counterfeit >The old man recorded the whole thing with a secret camera and now it's all over the Russian internet apparently I should probably kys View Thread

Greentext Stories

reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon the Astronaut | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/09/21(Thu)02:13:35 No.64674046 >>64667626 (OP) # >Whats the hardest s--- you've ever done Just yesterday 295 KB JPG >Completely constipated, hadn't taken a s--- for 4days >Decide enough is enough. >Sit on my throne, trying to pass the massive solid buttbaby >Break out a sweat, can feel the ground underneath me shaking >Can feel my anus opening up the size of a tennis ball, but nothing comes out >5 minutes has passed by now >"This takes too long, I want to go back to gaming" >Imagine myself spaceX' falcon 9 rocket at t-3 seconds >Use all my strength to evacuate the log as quickly as possible >"Boosters have ignited" >The crap comes out at mach 0.9 (sound barrier remains unbroken) >Sounds like rock against porcelain when the log gets dumped >"We have liftoff" >Collapse on the floor in fetal position, can't move, butthole hurts, strength of drained >Wave of happiness falls over me >The greatest ordeal men has experienced is over >Regain composure >Look at my artwork in the bowl >"Satisfied" >Flush it down >Toilet clogs

: Anonymous 12/09/21(Thu)02:13:35 No.64674046 >>64667626 (OP) # >Whats the hardest s--- you've ever done Just yesterday 295 KB JPG >Completely constipated, hadn't taken a s--- for 4days >Decide enough is enough. >Sit on my throne, trying to pass the massive solid buttbaby >Break out a sweat, can feel the ground underneath me shaking >Can feel my anus opening up the size of a tennis ball, but nothing comes out >5 minutes has passed by now >"This takes too long, I want to go back to gaming" >Imagine myself spaceX' falcon 9 rocket at t-3 seconds >Use all my strength to evacuate the log as quickly as possible >"Boosters have ignited" >The crap comes out at mach 0.9 (sound barrier remains unbroken) >Sounds like rock against porcelain when the log gets dumped >"We have liftoff" >Collapse on the floor in fetal position, can't move, butthole hurts, strength of drained >Wave of happiness falls over me >The greatest ordeal men has experienced is over >Regain composure >Look at my artwork in the bowl >"Satisfied" >Flush it down >Toilet clogs

Greentext Stories

reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon's dad is a prankster | /r/Greentext

File: 1636150337691.jpg (74 KB, 638x676) O Anonymous 12/10/21(Fri)09:43:19 No.868293266 Born to Fren ITT we post stories about in the army autism >be dad >there's this guy who always begs others for cigarettes >really annoying for everyone >one day >they find some unused ammo >idea.png >take it apart >put the gunpowder into a a c-------- >not enough to blast the guy's face off, but enough to leave a mark >put the gunpowder aroung the middle part of it so it doesn't blow up the second he lits it >guy comes in >asks for a c-------- >here_you_go_man.wav >everyone is watching him intensely >he doesn't suspect anything >he lits it and a few seconds after it a blinding light >like those old camera flashes that work with magnesium >the c-- blew >imagine some tom and jerry type of s---, the guy lost all his facial hair, excepta part of his eyebrow which was blocked by his nose >next day >dad asks him if he wants a c-- >hell no not from you jackasses >hfw mission passed

File: 1636150337691.jpg (74 KB, 638x676) O Anonymous 12/10/21(Fri)09:43:19 No.868293266 Born to Fren ITT we post stories about in the army autism >be dad >there's this guy who always begs others for cigarettes >really annoying for everyone >one day >they find some unused ammo >idea.png >take it apart >put the gunpowder into a a c-------- >not enough to blast the guy's face off, but enough to leave a mark >put the gunpowder aroung the middle part of it so it doesn't blow up the second he lits it >guy comes in >asks for a c-------- >here_you_go_man.wav >everyone is watching him intensely >he doesn't suspect anything >he lits it and a few seconds after it a blinding light >like those old camera flashes that work with magnesium >the c-- blew >imagine some tom and jerry type of s---, the guy lost all his facial hair, excepta part of his eyebrow which was blocked by his nose >next day >dad asks him if he wants a c-- >hell no not from you jackasses >hfw mission passed

Greentext Stories

reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext terrestrial plant

Anon almost dies shitting | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/27/21(Wed)17:15:19 No.845914110 >taking massive s--- >coming out sideways >hurts like hell >feel and hear anus tearing >losing lots of blood >pass out from blood loss >wake up around 15 minutes later 52 KB PNG >go to wipe >cleanwipe.doc >no blood, no s--- >feel around a------ >someone sewn up my gaping wound and cleaned it >blood and s--- still in toilet Thank you mystery a------ mender, i am forever in your debt

: Anonymous 01/27/21(Wed)17:15:19 No.845914110 >taking massive s--- >coming out sideways >hurts like hell >feel and hear anus tearing >losing lots of blood >pass out from blood loss >wake up around 15 minutes later 52 KB PNG >go to wipe >cleanwipe.doc >no blood, no s--- >feel around a------ >someone sewn up my gaping wound and cleaned it >blood and s--- still in toilet Thank you mystery a------ mender, i am forever in your debt

Greentext Stories

reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

The My Lai Massacre | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/09/21(Thu)16:56:24 No.66497615 Be 26 year old male super sperg >Mom gets a new Husband >Huge 6'5 muscular ex-marine Sergeant wanna die. >Seems like a cool guy initially >Gets real bitchy when I listen to cumtown cause they mock Israel 186 KB PNG and the troops >He gets angry when I listen to Burzum cause he thinks Nordic metal is pagan and satanic >He ripped down all my Hitomi Tanaka posters and took away all my sexy 2B figurines But it gets worse WAY WORSE >A year later >He keeps coming into my room in the middle of the night butt naked >He tells me old Iraq War stories >One day he comes in drunk and starts waving his d--- around >Tells me I will never have a big d--- like him >Too spergy to stand up for myself so I just squeal until he leaves >Another night he accuses me of being gay despite my obvious love for Japanese women >He literally bends over and shows me his big pale ass >He shouted "ya wanna f--- this you fruity peckerwood sunuva BITCH!" >Then he spat on me and mocked me for wearing my spider man onsie and having a creeper plushie >One night he was really drunk and cut a hole in my creeper and started f------ it in front of me when mom was at the spa >He filled it full of his c-- and threw it at me and said "Here ya go Jack! that's what happens to little boy p------ like you in the Marines" >I cried for 5 hours straight that night No one will help me because l'm an adult male

: Anonymous 12/09/21(Thu)16:56:24 No.66497615 Be 26 year old male super sperg >Mom gets a new Husband >Huge 6'5 muscular ex-marine Sergeant wanna die. >Seems like a cool guy initially >Gets real bitchy when I listen to cumtown cause they mock Israel 186 KB PNG and the troops >He gets angry when I listen to Burzum cause he thinks Nordic metal is pagan and satanic >He ripped down all my Hitomi Tanaka posters and took away all my sexy 2B figurines But it gets worse WAY WORSE >A year later >He keeps coming into my room in the middle of the night butt naked >He tells me old Iraq War stories >One day he comes in drunk and starts waving his d--- around >Tells me I will never have a big d--- like him >Too spergy to stand up for myself so I just squeal until he leaves >Another night he accuses me of being gay despite my obvious love for Japanese women >He literally bends over and shows me his big pale ass >He shouted "ya wanna f--- this you fruity peckerwood sunuva BITCH!" >Then he spat on me and mocked me for wearing my spider man onsie and having a creeper plushie >One night he was really drunk and cut a hole in my creeper and started f------ it in front of me when mom was at the spa >He filled it full of his c-- and threw it at me and said "Here ya go Jack! that's what happens to little boy p------ like you in the Marines" >I cried for 5 hours straight that night No one will help me because l'm an adult male

Greentext Stories

reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anons Parents hate him | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous namelet thread 10/27/21(Wed)00:11:46 No.65912566 >born with a twin >parents wanted to give us similar names >twin was named logan >parents had a wide selection of L names to choose from >and they named me f------ LAROLD 83 KB PNG

: Anonymous namelet thread 10/27/21(Wed)00:11:46 No.65912566 >born with a twin >parents wanted to give us similar names >twin was named logan >parents had a wide selection of L names to choose from >and they named me f------ LAROLD 83 KB PNG

Greentext Stories

reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext product organism plant mammal gesture font

Anon says- Trumpers hold this L | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: Sfkg22R6) : 01/07/21(Thu)21:04:44 No.301025036 imagine spending the better part of the last 5 years having your brain and ego melted by uninterrupted /pol/ exposure, flying to washington in the middle of a pandemic to hear trump whine about oprah and mike pence at a rally, marching up to congress on his orders to smash s--- and then mill around aimlessly 51 KB JPG you go home and hear that biden won anyway and all of your favorite twitter news sources named like Patriot Newsman Of the West with avatars of roman statues have posted your photo online and are labeling you a "gay communist antifa actor." then the next day the god emperor you pasted into warhammer memes puts out a video cucking himself and bending the knee. "i'm sorry, those were heinous acts! p-please let me tweet again jack!!" you can't leave dc because the airlines have dubbed you a flight risk. you can't stay because the cops are actively looking for you after one of their own died. your roommate at the only hotel that would accept you is a guy named based_kekistani1488 who wants to show you his goblin slayer torrents. the sun is going down and you're getting cold.

: Anonymous (ID: Sfkg22R6) : 01/07/21(Thu)21:04:44 No.301025036 imagine spending the better part of the last 5 years having your brain and ego melted by uninterrupted /pol/ exposure, flying to washington in the middle of a pandemic to hear trump whine about oprah and mike pence at a rally, marching up to congress on his orders to smash s--- and then mill around aimlessly 51 KB JPG you go home and hear that biden won anyway and all of your favorite twitter news sources named like Patriot Newsman Of the West with avatars of roman statues have posted your photo online and are labeling you a "gay communist antifa actor." then the next day the god emperor you pasted into warhammer memes puts out a video cucking himself and bending the knee. "i'm sorry, those were heinous acts! p-please let me tweet again jack!!" you can't leave dc because the airlines have dubbed you a flight risk. you can't stay because the cops are actively looking for you after one of their own died. your roommate at the only hotel that would accept you is a guy named based_kekistani1488 who wants to show you his goblin slayer torrents. the sun is going down and you're getting cold.

Greentext Stories

reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon is a decent human | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/22/18(Fri)07:00:15 No.772251560 >>772251055 (OP) # >be 15 WOOSH. VOUAVE Smol pener >sister 17 >walks out of bathroom after shower 40 KB JPG >towel hanging very loose around her body. >tell her to fasten her towel before it falls off >she nods and fastens it before walking away >i go shower and forget about it >because im not some sick degenerate like you f----. >>772251744 #

: Anonymous 06/22/18(Fri)07:00:15 No.772251560 >>772251055 (OP) # >be 15 WOOSH. VOUAVE Smol pener >sister 17 >walks out of bathroom after shower 40 KB JPG >towel hanging very loose around her body. >tell her to fasten her towel before it falls off >she nods and fastens it before walking away >i go shower and forget about it >because im not some sick degenerate like you f----. >>772251744 #

Greentext Stories

reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

anon gets hugged by goth roastie | /r/Greentext

File: take-some-time-of-your-da(...).jpg (38 KB, 602x538) O Anonymous 12/09/21(Thu)17:17:54 No.66494062 >be me >in class with the /b/oys >7/10 goth qt comes in >hugs all of us >w--.jpeg >she says : " y'all are good persons. that's why I hugged you." >doesnt elaborate >leaves I'm kinda happy, but w-- did she meant by that ? is she retarded ? was it a truth or dare ? what do robots ?

File: take-some-time-of-your-da(...).jpg (38 KB, 602x538) O Anonymous 12/09/21(Thu)17:17:54 No.66494062 >be me >in class with the /b/oys >7/10 goth qt comes in >hugs all of us >w--.jpeg >she says : " y'all are good persons. that's why I hugged you." >doesnt elaborate >leaves I'm kinda happy, but w-- did she meant by that ? is she retarded ? was it a truth or dare ? what do robots ?

Greentext Stories

reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext rectangle font

Anon is fucked in the head | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/10/21(Fri)01:15:46 No.868290294 >be me >hiding in alleyway >qt girl walking up the street doesn't see me >grab her and pull her into the 17 KB JPG shadows >put knife to her throat >she starts crying but i have my hand over her mouth >muffled "no please please don't no" >pull my phone out of my pocket >put it in front of her face >Never Gonna Give You Up by Rick Astley music video plays >she just looks at it >i let her go and run away laughing like Skeletor from He-Man Anyone else do things like this? it's a very fun prank to pull on late Friday nights when you're alone without any friends or loving caring family members.

: Anonymous 12/10/21(Fri)01:15:46 No.868290294 >be me >hiding in alleyway >qt girl walking up the street doesn't see me >grab her and pull her into the 17 KB JPG shadows >put knife to her throat >she starts crying but i have my hand over her mouth >muffled "no please please don't no" >pull my phone out of my pocket >put it in front of her face >Never Gonna Give You Up by Rick Astley music video plays >she just looks at it >i let her go and run away laughing like Skeletor from He-Man Anyone else do things like this? it's a very fun prank to pull on late Friday nights when you're alone without any friends or loving caring family members.

Greentext Stories

reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Drawing the short straw | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Why was I cursed with such shi(...) 12/08/21(Wed)18:48:15 No.66486135 >dad 6'1 >mom 5'10 >me 5'8" >younger brother 6'4 49 KB JPG >me kissless handheldless virgin at age 27 >younger brother Chad that had multiple girlfriends throughout high school and is in a college frat >me skinnyfat >younger brother 6 pack with sculpted body >me ugly beak like nose and beady eyes >younger brother chad jawline and hunter eyes Why was I cursed with such s--- genes? All the men in my family are taller than me. My father is 6'1, my paternal grandfather is 6'2, my maternal grandfather is 6'. My Uncles are 6' to 6'4, my cousins are 6'1 to 6'4. What happened?

: Anonymous Why was I cursed with such shi(...) 12/08/21(Wed)18:48:15 No.66486135 >dad 6'1 >mom 5'10 >me 5'8" >younger brother 6'4 49 KB JPG >me kissless handheldless virgin at age 27 >younger brother Chad that had multiple girlfriends throughout high school and is in a college frat >me skinnyfat >younger brother 6 pack with sculpted body >me ugly beak like nose and beady eyes >younger brother chad jawline and hunter eyes Why was I cursed with such s--- genes? All the men in my family are taller than me. My father is 6'1, my paternal grandfather is 6'2, my maternal grandfather is 6'. My Uncles are 6' to 6'4, my cousins are 6'1 to 6'4. What happened?

Greentext Stories

reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext product font

Anons muscles | /r/Greentext

1635133345252.jpg 22 KB JPG >A man hadn't expierenced love for 25 years and tried to replace it with weight lifting. Here's what happened to him. : Anonymous 10/25/21(Mon)14:50:08 No.64081020 >>64080979 (OP) # SHUT UP

1635133345252.jpg 22 KB JPG >A man hadn't expierenced love for 25 years and tried to replace it with weight lifting. Here's what happened to him. : Anonymous 10/25/21(Mon)14:50:08 No.64081020 >>64080979 (OP) # SHUT UP

Greentext Stories

reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext forehead hair chin eyebrow eyelash jaw sleeve gesture collar dress shirt flash photography

Anon is 'Murican | /r/Greentext

Greentext Stories

reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Anon has a trillion-dollar idea | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: NNJINTİH) 12/07/21(Tue)14:49:01 No.44210033 >go to Venezuela >exchange 1000 dollars for 700 trillion of local currency >go back to states >am now the richest person on earth crazy how that wurks huh >>44210578 #

: Anonymous (ID: NNJINTİH) 12/07/21(Tue)14:49:01 No.44210033 >go to Venezuela >exchange 1000 dollars for 700 trillion of local currency >go back to states >am now the richest person on earth crazy how that wurks huh >>44210578 #

Greentext Stories

reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext rectangle font

A Classic - Anon do be 17 tho | /r/Greentext

Greentext Stories

reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Whats taters, precious? | /r/Greentext

Greentext Stories

reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext