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Anon watches movies | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/31/21(Tue)11:17:39 No.155661490 >Frankenstein is not the monster >The big Lebowski is not the dude >Dorothy is not the wizard of Oz oke 919 KB PNG : Anonymous 08/31/21(Tue)11:20:26 No.155661549 >>155661490 (OP)_# >OP is not straight
: Anonymous 08/31/21(Tue)11:17:39 No.155661490 >Frankenstein is not the monster >The big Lebowski is not the dude >Dorothy is not the wizard of Oz oke 919 KB PNG : Anonymous 08/31/21(Tue)11:20:26 No.155661549 >>155661490 (OP)_# >OP is not straight

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Anon loses fat | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 45243472 >be me >22 yo >overweight beta loser >decide to f--- it all and get my life in control >get new clothes >go to the gym >work out harder than ever in my life >sweat dripping off me >can't feel my legs >a couple of chads walk by >hear one of them say to the other >"What a fat loser" 42,2 kB JPG >... >He's technically right >l am losing a lot of fat 3 REPLIES O IMAGES REPLY Anonymous 45243502 Nice keep going man
Anonymous | 45243472 >be me >22 yo >overweight beta loser >decide to f--- it all and get my life in control >get new clothes >go to the gym >work out harder than ever in my life >sweat dripping off me >can't feel my legs >a couple of chads walk by >hear one of them say to the other >"What a fat loser" 42,2 kB JPG >... >He's technically right >l am losing a lot of fat 3 REPLIES O IMAGES REPLY Anonymous 45243502 Nice keep going man

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Anon is unhappy with his name | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/27/21(Sat)00:29:45 No.867460819 >be me >born >parents get to choose my name >Choose Gaynor >f------ GAYNOR 45 KB JPG
: Anonymous 11/27/21(Sat)00:29:45 No.867460819 >be me >born >parents get to choose my name >Choose Gaynor >f------ GAYNOR 45 KB JPG

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Anon cures his depression | /r/Greentext

Anyone here just goes out at night and fights people? My life was boring as f--- and I was depressed so I started going out and just fighting people I started putting on a ski mask and at first it was only homeless people then it evolved to highschool kids and now I'm picking fights with grown men 137 KB JPG I even have a nemesis >beat up the same guy a couple of times >find out where he works >catch him off guard after he gets off work >he's been posting on Facebook about catching me at night and giving me what I deserve >dude drives around at night with a shotgun trying to kill me basically My life is soo much more excited now am I f------ crazy for doing this ?
Anyone here just goes out at night and fights people? My life was boring as f--- and I was depressed so I started going out and just fighting people I started putting on a ski mask and at first it was only homeless people then it evolved to highschool kids and now I'm picking fights with grown men 137 KB JPG I even have a nemesis >beat up the same guy a couple of times >find out where he works >catch him off guard after he gets off work >he's been posting on Facebook about catching me at night and giving me what I deserve >dude drives around at night with a shotgun trying to kill me basically My life is soo much more excited now am I f------ crazy for doing this ?

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Anon is a dog person | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 790197942 49 min. ago ●• >at a party >sitting alone and petting dog because aspergers.jpg >cute 6/10 with nice tight bod comes up to me > "hehe are you more of a dog person than a cat person anon" Autism kicks in 178.3 kB JPG > "hehe a holes a hole to me"
Anonymous | 790197942 49 min. ago ●• >at a party >sitting alone and petting dog because aspergers.jpg >cute 6/10 with nice tight bod comes up to me > "hehe are you more of a dog person than a cat person anon" Autism kicks in 178.3 kB JPG > "hehe a holes a hole to me"

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Suicide hotline anon | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 815056689 1시간 전 ·. Hey /b/ I need to tell you guys a story >Be me >Be working at suicide hotline >Have access to donation logs >Go through them from time to time between calls >Notice a man has made a donation of 124.0 kB PNG $17.50 every month, same day, for a couple years >Check to see if there's a note with the donations >They all read something like as follows "To Jason, from dad. I miss you every day" >l asked about it, turns out his son killed himself when he was really young >That money is his son's allowance Don't think that people won't miss you, or people will forget you, you are loved anon even if you don't feel it right now. 3 REPLIES 3 IMAGES REPLY
Anonymous | 815056689 1시간 전 ·. Hey /b/ I need to tell you guys a story >Be me >Be working at suicide hotline >Have access to donation logs >Go through them from time to time between calls >Notice a man has made a donation of 124.0 kB PNG $17.50 every month, same day, for a couple years >Check to see if there's a note with the donations >They all read something like as follows "To Jason, from dad. I miss you every day" >l asked about it, turns out his son killed himself when he was really young >That money is his son's allowance Don't think that people won't miss you, or people will forget you, you are loved anon even if you don't feel it right now. 3 REPLIES 3 IMAGES REPLY

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Anon thinks everything is about him | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/03/21(Fri)02:16:16 No.66405964 >tfw name is Brandon >Everyone has been cheering lately me on 67 KB PNG
: Anonymous 12/03/21(Fri)02:16:16 No.66405964 >tfw name is Brandon >Everyone has been cheering lately me on 67 KB PNG

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Anon gets what we all deserve | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/15/15(Tue)12:18:37 No.657625227 >be me >be autistic fun lover >live on farm in the middle of nowhere Downy >one day working out in the fields >tummy starts to hurt >toomuchtendies.jpeg >feel the largest s--- of my life approaching my 88 KB JPG rectum >drop my pants and lean on an old fence for support >push out a massive turd with the strength of a thousand young suns >feelsgood.meme >be a month later >doctor finds a tumor near my tailbone >fence I shat on had lots of carcinogenic paint on it >mfw I literally got ass cancer from s--- posting
: Anonymous 12/15/15(Tue)12:18:37 No.657625227 >be me >be autistic fun lover >live on farm in the middle of nowhere Downy >one day working out in the fields >tummy starts to hurt >toomuchtendies.jpeg >feel the largest s--- of my life approaching my 88 KB JPG rectum >drop my pants and lean on an old fence for support >push out a massive turd with the strength of a thousand young suns >feelsgood.meme >be a month later >doctor finds a tumor near my tailbone >fence I shat on had lots of carcinogenic paint on it >mfw I literally got ass cancer from s--- posting

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Anon goes to space | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: Wkjdyg9l File: chimp.png (198 KB, 233x375) 02/26/17(Sun)12:53:04 No.114410325 LE NAS >be me.a f------ monkey >live around African negroes for 20,000 years >climbing trees and s--- >meet some white guys >Become astronaut, fly in space ships and s---, orbit the planet many times.
Anonymous (ID: Wkjdyg9l File: chimp.png (198 KB, 233x375) 02/26/17(Sun)12:53:04 No.114410325 LE NAS >be me.a f------ monkey >live around African negroes for 20,000 years >climbing trees and s--- >meet some white guys >Become astronaut, fly in space ships and s---, orbit the planet many times.

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Anon's wife didn't feel good | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 785707303 3 min. ago ••• >be me >meet qt3.14 in uni >ask her out on date >she says yes >fast forward 7 years we're still together >l propose to her on our anniversary and she says yes >about 5 months pass and it's our wedding day >do out vowels and everything >"You may now kiss the bride" >leans in to kiss her 53.3 kB JPG >she suddenly turns into dust >w--.jpg >most of the people in the church turn to dust as well F--- you Thanos REPLY
Anonymous | 785707303 3 min. ago ••• >be me >meet qt3.14 in uni >ask her out on date >she says yes >fast forward 7 years we're still together >l propose to her on our anniversary and she says yes >about 5 months pass and it's our wedding day >do out vowels and everything >"You may now kiss the bride" >leans in to kiss her 53.3 kB JPG >she suddenly turns into dust >w--.jpg >most of the people in the church turn to dust as well F--- you Thanos REPLY

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So that's where the milk goes, kids! | /r/Greentext


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Anon says when | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/03/18(Tue)10:38:59 No.46535165 ITT: Childhood autism >go to italian restaurant >order pasta >waiter asks me if i want cheese on my pasta 53 KB JPG >say yes >waiter says "ok say when" >i say "when" >"so you don't want any cheese?" >i am confused >"of course i want cheese" >"ok then, say when" >"when" >waiter is p-----, leaves and gives me no cheese >it dawns on me How was I this stupid?
: Anonymous 07/03/18(Tue)10:38:59 No.46535165 ITT: Childhood autism >go to italian restaurant >order pasta >waiter asks me if i want cheese on my pasta 53 KB JPG >say yes >waiter says "ok say when" >i say "when" >"so you don't want any cheese?" >i am confused >"of course i want cheese" >"ok then, say when" >"when" >waiter is p-----, leaves and gives me no cheese >it dawns on me How was I this stupid?

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Anon pulls a prank | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous03/09/19(Sat)18:02:25 No.794558144 >tell f----- brother he just got pranked >"how?" >tell him to look in his room >he spends 10 minutes looking for the prank >there was no prank 23 KB JPG >mfw that was the prank
: Anonymous03/09/19(Sat)18:02:25 No.794558144 >tell f----- brother he just got pranked >"how?" >tell him to look in his room >he spends 10 minutes looking for the prank >there was no prank 23 KB JPG >mfw that was the prank

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Anon gets caught by his teacher | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/03/21(Fri)17:10:37 No.867916346 Parents ignored school shooter's depression >teacher caught him searching gun ammunition in school and contacted 188 KB JPG his parents >mom later sent him a text with "lol" and told him not to get caught next time >few days later teacher catches him drawing pictures of a gun and bullet with "my life is s---" and "kill classmates" quotes >contacted his parents again >they downplayed it and wanted him to go back to class >later on that day his dad sent him a text "please don't do it" after discovering his gun was missing 51 Replies / 4 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 12/03/21(Fri)17:10:37 No.867916346 Parents ignored school shooter's depression >teacher caught him searching gun ammunition in school and contacted 188 KB JPG his parents >mom later sent him a text with "lol" and told him not to get caught next time >few days later teacher catches him drawing pictures of a gun and bullet with "my life is s---" and "kill classmates" quotes >contacted his parents again >they downplayed it and wanted him to go back to class >later on that day his dad sent him a text "please don't do it" after discovering his gun was missing 51 Replies / 4 Images View Thread

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i mean, he has a point... | /r/Greentext

That Guy No.54766295 Yesterday PNG 376.5 KiB 900x702 >Playing DnD >Wizard gets into a fight with an important NPC >When the wizard realizes who the NPC is, he apologizes and asks "As a token of my goodwill, would you like me to make you a magical sword?" >NPC agrees >Wizard casts polymorph and turns them into a sword. >Argues that the NPC shouldn't have a will save because they agreed to it. 10 replies
That Guy No.54766295 Yesterday PNG 376.5 KiB 900x702 >Playing DnD >Wizard gets into a fight with an important NPC >When the wizard realizes who the NPC is, he apologizes and asks "As a token of my goodwill, would you like me to make you a magical sword?" >NPC agrees >Wizard casts polymorph and turns them into a sword. >Argues that the NPC shouldn't have a will save because they agreed to it. 10 replies

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On the backburner | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/03/21(Fri)07:33:11 No.66408053 > be me > 3th world muslim s------- > my elementary school finest student always at the top of my class > there is this girl who was my only competitor > she got better grades than me 19 KB JPG leaving me in the second place > dad hears about it abd beats the s--- out of me > my back still has burn marks since he used hot glowing skewers and put them on my back > managed to get better grades than her for the rest of Elementary > still remember what she did to me > fast forward to high school > see her talking to a dude > took photos of it and sent it to hwr super conservative muslim dad > he forced her out of school and she never finished her studies Guess who had the last laughs bitch
: Anonymous 12/03/21(Fri)07:33:11 No.66408053 > be me > 3th world muslim s------- > my elementary school finest student always at the top of my class > there is this girl who was my only competitor > she got better grades than me 19 KB JPG leaving me in the second place > dad hears about it abd beats the s--- out of me > my back still has burn marks since he used hot glowing skewers and put them on my back > managed to get better grades than her for the rest of Elementary > still remember what she did to me > fast forward to high school > see her talking to a dude > took photos of it and sent it to hwr super conservative muslim dad > he forced her out of school and she never finished her studies Guess who had the last laughs bitch

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Anon Reveals The Truth | /r/Greentext

File: Helium.jpg (43 KB, 576x768) Helium shortage Anonymous (ID: VYHZRH00 12/03/21(Fri)14:01:48 No.350604709 ► You f------ retards You keep arguing about fossil fuels No one should be worried about that since once we run out we'll atleast have alternative energy sources You know what I'm worried about? When we eventually run out of Helium You know what Helium is used for? It's not just balloons >It's used for respiratory treatment >MRI magnets >The fiber optic cables we use for the internet >computer chips and hard drives >shielding and welding >Microscopes >lt cleans rockets and fuel tanks to make sure they don't f------ combust We only have 117 years worth of Helium, and that's assuming our population doesn't increase and that we continue to use it at our current rate. Get voidpilled, absolutely f------ blackholepilled
File: Helium.jpg (43 KB, 576x768) Helium shortage Anonymous (ID: VYHZRH00 12/03/21(Fri)14:01:48 No.350604709 ► You f------ retards You keep arguing about fossil fuels No one should be worried about that since once we run out we'll atleast have alternative energy sources You know what I'm worried about? When we eventually run out of Helium You know what Helium is used for? It's not just balloons >It's used for respiratory treatment >MRI magnets >The fiber optic cables we use for the internet >computer chips and hard drives >shielding and welding >Microscopes >lt cleans rockets and fuel tanks to make sure they don't f------ combust We only have 117 years worth of Helium, and that's assuming our population doesn't increase and that we continue to use it at our current rate. Get voidpilled, absolutely f------ blackholepilled

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Anon can’t find diet ice | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/03/21(Fri)12:16:03 No.867901951 >>867900400 (OP) # >be assistant manager at gas station >karen comes in for a cup of ice forty keks >straight face asks me where the diet 162 KB PNG ice is >brain just blue screened hearing that sentence >She said we had it a few months ago >I asked her if she meant crushed ice, and showed her which tab it was >She starts karen-raging about how I'm dumb for not knowing what diet ice >She leaves >tell my manager this funny story >manager tells me that a competitor gas station up the road put up a sign for diet ice for April fool's day this year >mfw this Karen fell for an April fools joke that hard
: Anonymous 12/03/21(Fri)12:16:03 No.867901951 >>867900400 (OP) # >be assistant manager at gas station >karen comes in for a cup of ice forty keks >straight face asks me where the diet 162 KB PNG ice is >brain just blue screened hearing that sentence >She said we had it a few months ago >I asked her if she meant crushed ice, and showed her which tab it was >She starts karen-raging about how I'm dumb for not knowing what diet ice >She leaves >tell my manager this funny story >manager tells me that a competitor gas station up the road put up a sign for diet ice for April fool's day this year >mfw this Karen fell for an April fools joke that hard

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Anon talks with his dad | /r/Greentext

> be me > having breakfast with dad > he's looking at something on his phone > "hey anon, whats 'MFW'?" > tell him > ask him where he heard that feels good man 206 KB PNG > "oh, i'm just looking at this image on r/greentext" > bond with dad over greentexts >i love you dad
> be me > having breakfast with dad > he's looking at something on his phone > "hey anon, whats 'MFW'?" > tell him > ask him where he heard that feels good man 206 KB PNG > "oh, i'm just looking at this image on r/greentext" > bond with dad over greentexts >i love you dad

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Anon's hole survives for now. | /r/Greentext

! Anonymous I cant date 12/03/21(Fri)1 1:58:56 No.66405625 >21 and never had a gf before > girl at work gets along with me really well >asks about my past relationships >tell her I never had one >she laughs and tells me she dont believe it 134 KB JPG >l say that I oam serious >she stops laughing >"anon you are tall and handsome. Are you maybe a player?" >autismkicks.png >get mad at her >call her a c--- >she stops talking to me >avoids me at work now This is why I dont try to date anymore. My past or my lack of a past is the ultimate dealbreaker. When girls hear that you never been in a relationship. They think that you are either a player or a f------ psychopath
! Anonymous I cant date 12/03/21(Fri)1 1:58:56 No.66405625 >21 and never had a gf before > girl at work gets along with me really well >asks about my past relationships >tell her I never had one >she laughs and tells me she dont believe it 134 KB JPG >l say that I oam serious >she stops laughing >"anon you are tall and handsome. Are you maybe a player?" >autismkicks.png >get mad at her >call her a c--- >she stops talking to me >avoids me at work now This is why I dont try to date anymore. My past or my lack of a past is the ultimate dealbreaker. When girls hear that you never been in a relationship. They think that you are either a player or a f------ psychopath

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