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Anon gets rejected | /r/Greentext

Melissa And yeah I do think you're real cute and real sweet too hahaa Aww bit taller it's just that, I prefer guys that are a But not meaning I won't want to hangout!! Meannn we're like the same height haha ik but yknow , you're 23 and I'm 12!I might be taller than U soon ahaha But it dont matter anyways okay? Aww I'm sorrry it's not bad or anything Youre still super sweet and you have a real nice body cause U workout ! thanks I guess don't be like thatttt I isten how about we hangout again and we JAnonymous 12/02/21(Thu)17:54:51 No.867825522 Why the f--- are all girls like this /b/?? I'm a super manlet, I'm only 5'2" and it's affected nearly everything on my life. Will I ever find someone that will like me for me and not care about height? Yes she is a bit younger than me but even older women have the same attitude. Any other manlet bros here that can give me advice? > Also inb4 b& or v& because she's just a friend but still she's a girl and they have similar mindsets O Anonymous 12/02/21(Thu)17:57:08 No.867825589 File: Pls (1).jpg (272 KB, 1057x1053) >shes 12 Anon, please kill yourself ...
Melissa And yeah I do think you're real cute and real sweet too hahaa Aww bit taller it's just that, I prefer guys that are a But not meaning I won't want to hangout!! Meannn we're like the same height haha ik but yknow , you're 23 and I'm 12!I might be taller than U soon ahaha But it dont matter anyways okay? Aww I'm sorrry it's not bad or anything Youre still super sweet and you have a real nice body cause U workout ! thanks I guess don't be like thatttt I isten how about we hangout again and we JAnonymous 12/02/21(Thu)17:54:51 No.867825522 Why the f--- are all girls like this /b/?? I'm a super manlet, I'm only 5'2" and it's affected nearly everything on my life. Will I ever find someone that will like me for me and not care about height? Yes she is a bit younger than me but even older women have the same attitude. Any other manlet bros here that can give me advice? > Also inb4 b& or v& because she's just a friend but still she's a girl and they have similar mindsets O Anonymous 12/02/21(Thu)17:57:08 No.867825589 File: Pls (1).jpg (272 KB, 1057x1053) >shes 12 Anon, please kill yourself ...

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Anon self-medicates | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/25/20(Sun)21:47:13 No.838633423 >be me >have severe constipation >go to store >lick every surface people have been touching >get the flu >get diarrhea >constipation gone 175 KB PNG
: Anonymous 10/25/20(Sun)21:47:13 No.838633423 >be me >have severe constipation >go to store >lick every surface people have been touching >get the flu >get diarrhea >constipation gone 175 KB PNG

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Anon rigs the economy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: egPLaWtA 02/04/21(Thu)01:57:08 No.27695254 >be elon >Buy a s--- ton of dogecoin >Say that 100 dogecoin is now worth a Tesla >Dogecoin jump to at least 600 a share cuz it's now backed by a tesla >Elon sells off all dogecoin, still turns a 57 KB JPG massive profit despite giving away some cars Tell Me one reason why this wouldn't work?
: Anonymous (ID: egPLaWtA 02/04/21(Thu)01:57:08 No.27695254 >be elon >Buy a s--- ton of dogecoin >Say that 100 dogecoin is now worth a Tesla >Dogecoin jump to at least 600 a share cuz it's now backed by a tesla >Elon sells off all dogecoin, still turns a 57 KB JPG massive profit despite giving away some cars Tell Me one reason why this wouldn't work?

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Anon reminisces | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/01/21(Mon)16:23:22 No.62555204 >>62553781 (OP) # >late 90's >10 >would finish school on a friday >eat dinner and then turn on my 496 KB PNG N64 >play Mario Kart, Mario 64, Goldeneye etc >bed time at 11:00 >would get into bed >pretend to fall asleep >wait until my mother went to sleep >boot up my N64 again >play all night I'd love to go back to being that carefree. Just once.
: Anonymous 03/01/21(Mon)16:23:22 No.62555204 >>62553781 (OP) # >late 90's >10 >would finish school on a friday >eat dinner and then turn on my 496 KB PNG N64 >play Mario Kart, Mario 64, Goldeneye etc >bed time at 11:00 >would get into bed >pretend to fall asleep >wait until my mother went to sleep >boot up my N64 again >play all night I'd love to go back to being that carefree. Just once.

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Mistakes were made | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/02/19(Sat)06:39:11 No.51238294 >going to school >realise i forgot my bag >conclude the only explenation is that im in a dream >go into school bathroom and r--- a girl >dont wake up 63 KB JPG
: Anonymous 03/02/19(Sat)06:39:11 No.51238294 >going to school >realise i forgot my bag >conclude the only explenation is that im in a dream >go into school bathroom and r--- a girl >dont wake up 63 KB JPG

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Anon is from the future | /r/Greentext

: Anonymouse (ID: PTHXrgTY ) 12/02/21(Thu)19:55:41 No.350509369 >>350507410 (OP) # >>be me 2027 >>decide to play the new battlefield 1944 >>no scoreboard >>all player characters are LGBT >>all player characters colored, gender non binary, trans furkins >>all chat is monitored by a team led by Anita Sarkeasian >>Only white men in the game are the axis NAZI's >>you can't play as the nazi's >>you can't pick up nazi weapons without first playing "combating white racism" hour long seminar, and buying the shitlord DLC for 29.99 This actually seems fairly plausible to me imho
: Anonymouse (ID: PTHXrgTY ) 12/02/21(Thu)19:55:41 No.350509369 >>350507410 (OP) # >>be me 2027 >>decide to play the new battlefield 1944 >>no scoreboard >>all player characters are LGBT >>all player characters colored, gender non binary, trans furkins >>all chat is monitored by a team led by Anita Sarkeasian >>Only white men in the game are the axis NAZI's >>you can't play as the nazi's >>you can't pick up nazi weapons without first playing "combating white racism" hour long seminar, and buying the shitlord DLC for 29.99 This actually seems fairly plausible to me imho

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Anon reaches enlightenment | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/02/21(Thu)19:32:44 No.867868810 thumb_the-enlightened-one-34799927.png 27 KB PNG >be 21 >gf sucks d--- like a pro >can it get any better than this? >she goes down to the balls >amazing as usual >then something entirely new >she goes down to the a------ >a path she hadn't dared go down before >an aura forms around me >l hear God's voice for the fırst time >Gabriel's trumpet is playing >my eyes glow a bright white >we levitate together with her tounge in-between my ass cheeks >l send out vibrations of pure ecstacy the entire universe can feel >c-- >feel gay, but it was the most incredible orgasm of my entire life >haven't been able to achieve this enlightenment again >been searching for it ever since
: Anonymous 12/02/21(Thu)19:32:44 No.867868810 thumb_the-enlightened-one-34799927.png 27 KB PNG >be 21 >gf sucks d--- like a pro >can it get any better than this? >she goes down to the balls >amazing as usual >then something entirely new >she goes down to the a------ >a path she hadn't dared go down before >an aura forms around me >l hear God's voice for the fırst time >Gabriel's trumpet is playing >my eyes glow a bright white >we levitate together with her tounge in-between my ass cheeks >l send out vibrations of pure ecstacy the entire universe can feel >c-- >feel gay, but it was the most incredible orgasm of my entire life >haven't been able to achieve this enlightenment again >been searching for it ever since

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Anon is not attractive | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/02/20(Sat)20:36:38 No.826674449 >at university >accidentally bump into a girl carrying papers >kneel down to help her collect them >our eyes meet >l say something like "hey, its like in the movies" 228 KB PNG >"yeah except in movies the guys attractive" 4 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 05/02/20(Sat)20:36:38 No.826674449 >at university >accidentally bump into a girl carrying papers >kneel down to help her collect them >our eyes meet >l say something like "hey, its like in the movies" 228 KB PNG >"yeah except in movies the guys attractive" 4 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon hates the Minecraft community | /r/Greentext

I f------ hate the Minecraft community >ask game devs to add something >they add it >ew w-- why would they add something we didn't want 56 KB JPG
I f------ hate the Minecraft community >ask game devs to add something >they add it >ew w-- why would they add something we didn't want 56 KB JPG

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Earl of Sandwich | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/27/21(Fri)21:13:07 No.65157997 >>65156362 >live in a bad part of town >work at a grocery store >always give hobos the food the store wants to throw out 52 KB JPG >on cold days, I make a big jug of coffee and hand it out to them >no one ever asks me for cash because they know l'm broke >am known as the "sandwich man" because I usually make sandwiches for them >last year, got mugged walking back home >5 seconds after being confronted I hear "AYO GET AWAY FROM THE SANDWICH MAN!" >4 or 5 homeless guys run to me from half a block away yelling at the mugger to get away from me despite him having a knife >he ran off after they came and they chased after him >follow and there was like 10 of them gathered around and he was pinned to the ground >one called the police and they arrested the guy >was told "if anyone f---- with you sandwich man, we got your back" >mfw I basically have a street gang by giving away day old sandwich meat and bread I am told to throw in the trash
: Anonymous 08/27/21(Fri)21:13:07 No.65157997 >>65156362 >live in a bad part of town >work at a grocery store >always give hobos the food the store wants to throw out 52 KB JPG >on cold days, I make a big jug of coffee and hand it out to them >no one ever asks me for cash because they know l'm broke >am known as the "sandwich man" because I usually make sandwiches for them >last year, got mugged walking back home >5 seconds after being confronted I hear "AYO GET AWAY FROM THE SANDWICH MAN!" >4 or 5 homeless guys run to me from half a block away yelling at the mugger to get away from me despite him having a knife >he ran off after they came and they chased after him >follow and there was like 10 of them gathered around and he was pinned to the ground >one called the police and they arrested the guy >was told "if anyone f---- with you sandwich man, we got your back" >mfw I basically have a street gang by giving away day old sandwich meat and bread I am told to throw in the trash

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Anon feels mischievous | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/22/21(Thu)23:07:14 No.6467211C >Be me >Working at Burger King >l add an extra chicken nuggets to bags when they're for a kid's meal >Imagine the kid feeling so lucky he got an extra nugget >He wasn't actually lucky though, as I did that deliberately 12 KB JPG My devilish nature cannot be contained
: Anonymous 07/22/21(Thu)23:07:14 No.6467211C >Be me >Working at Burger King >l add an extra chicken nuggets to bags when they're for a kid's meal >Imagine the kid feeling so lucky he got an extra nugget >He wasn't actually lucky though, as I did that deliberately 12 KB JPG My devilish nature cannot be contained

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Anon secretly just wanted to fuck his sister | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/03/21(Fri)01:18:32 No.66405526 >be me >have a degenerate sister >stalk her twitter sometimes and found she has an onlyfans >want to show her the dangers of showing her body on the internet >ideajpg >subscribe to her onlyfans with a fake 13 KB PNG name >earn her thrust and also troll her by paying for specific videos like toe spreading, shoving her brother's (me) controller up her vag, sucking her t--- etc etc >troll her by asking her to record a video with her brother (know she would never do that) >unsurprisingly she rejects my request >tell her that I know where she lives and if she doesn't deliver she'll suffer the consequences >sis thinks it's just a bluff >write our adress to scare her >mom is sewing on the couch next to our big window >idea2.png >tell her her mom looks cute sewing >tell her to be careful while she sleeps >bitch blocks me >be dinner time >she looks really anxious and isnt talking much Hope she learns her f------ lesson
: Anonymous 12/03/21(Fri)01:18:32 No.66405526 >be me >have a degenerate sister >stalk her twitter sometimes and found she has an onlyfans >want to show her the dangers of showing her body on the internet >ideajpg >subscribe to her onlyfans with a fake 13 KB PNG name >earn her thrust and also troll her by paying for specific videos like toe spreading, shoving her brother's (me) controller up her vag, sucking her t--- etc etc >troll her by asking her to record a video with her brother (know she would never do that) >unsurprisingly she rejects my request >tell her that I know where she lives and if she doesn't deliver she'll suffer the consequences >sis thinks it's just a bluff >write our adress to scare her >mom is sewing on the couch next to our big window >idea2.png >tell her her mom looks cute sewing >tell her to be careful while she sleeps >bitch blocks me >be dinner time >she looks really anxious and isnt talking much Hope she learns her f------ lesson

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Anon goes swimming | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 6iroW1cc 12/02/21(Thu)21:07:15 No.350473422 >be me >weigh 650 lbs >can't really move to exercise so I just sit inside playing WoW all day >healthcare provider forced me to go water aerobics class today >most embarrassing day of my life 29 KB JPG >wheeled in and lowered into the water while lesser obese people stare >helpers let go of me, I immediately start sinking >luckily stop with nose above water, held aloft by fart gas inside stomach >sit at the back flailing around a little >rip an enormous fart >it gets trapped entirely between my asscheeks >sudden change in buoyancy causes me to flop forwards on to my face >weakly flail my arms but kind of want to die >cute skinny blonde helper can't tip me up, so she has to stick her hand into my asscrack to free the fart >she's shaking and crying afterwards saying she never wants to do volunteer work again >don't even bother apologizing, just keep my head down while they wheel me away and transport me home how was your day /pol/?
: Anonymous (ID: 6iroW1cc 12/02/21(Thu)21:07:15 No.350473422 >be me >weigh 650 lbs >can't really move to exercise so I just sit inside playing WoW all day >healthcare provider forced me to go water aerobics class today >most embarrassing day of my life 29 KB JPG >wheeled in and lowered into the water while lesser obese people stare >helpers let go of me, I immediately start sinking >luckily stop with nose above water, held aloft by fart gas inside stomach >sit at the back flailing around a little >rip an enormous fart >it gets trapped entirely between my asscheeks >sudden change in buoyancy causes me to flop forwards on to my face >weakly flail my arms but kind of want to die >cute skinny blonde helper can't tip me up, so she has to stick her hand into my asscrack to free the fart >she's shaking and crying afterwards saying she never wants to do volunteer work again >don't even bother apologizing, just keep my head down while they wheel me away and transport me home how was your day /pol/?

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Anon is gaming | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/14/21(Tue)13:09:11 No.570829076 >Playing MMO >Walk up to rando >Start jumping >They jump too It's the little things, lads. 50 KB JPG
: Anonymous 09/14/21(Tue)13:09:11 No.570829076 >Playing MMO >Walk up to rando >Start jumping >They jump too It's the little things, lads. 50 KB JPG

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anon gives some bad advice | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/02/18(Wed)17:08:54 No.45836085 >>45834564 # You should act a bit more alpha so she thinks you're a Chad, try messaging her "get your t--- out now or l'll f------ kill you. >>45837596 # Anonymous05/02/18(Wed)20:35:42 No.45837596 >>45836085 # do not do this
: Anonymous 05/02/18(Wed)17:08:54 No.45836085 >>45834564 # You should act a bit more alpha so she thinks you're a Chad, try messaging her "get your t--- out now or l'll f------ kill you. >>45837596 # Anonymous05/02/18(Wed)20:35:42 No.45837596 >>45836085 # do not do this

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Anon loves women. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/02/21(Thu)19:05:13 No.66402402 >straight 18 year old male with crippling sissy fetish who just wants to completely submit to a man who can fill the hole left by his father while dressed as a girl. how do i get a gf when this has somehow became what i want. 67 KB JPG : Anonymous 12/02/21(Thu)19:06:19 No.66402418 >>66402402 (OP) # >straight not sure about that one chief >>66402449 # >>66402479 #
: Anonymous 12/02/21(Thu)19:05:13 No.66402402 >straight 18 year old male with crippling sissy fetish who just wants to completely submit to a man who can fill the hole left by his father while dressed as a girl. how do i get a gf when this has somehow became what i want. 67 KB JPG : Anonymous 12/02/21(Thu)19:06:19 No.66402418 >>66402402 (OP) # >straight not sure about that one chief >>66402449 # >>66402479 #

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Anon makes a powerpoint | /r/Greentext

> be me > in health class, have to make a powerpoint about why alcohol is bad 359 КВ PNG > 12th grade so no one cares > presentation day comes along > no one has done any work > teacher opens up class file > one project > titled "alachol" > teacher walks out of room > mfw
> be me > in health class, have to make a powerpoint about why alcohol is bad 359 КВ PNG > 12th grade so no one cares > presentation day comes along > no one has done any work > teacher opens up class file > one project > titled "alachol" > teacher walks out of room > mfw

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Anon's classmate knows the rules | /r/Greentext

Board /b/ - Random v Settings Mobile Home : Anonymous 12/02/21(Thu)23:49:19 No.867857894 > Be me > Go to primary school assembly in Year 5 (Britbong land) > One day the head teacher is asking us about school rules > Autistic kid puts hand up > Head teacher looks thrilled he can join the discussion 40 KB JPG > "Yes, what rule did you remember?" > "Don't say n-----" > Entire school hall loses it > He has to be taken outside > Head teacher can't carry on, everyone's laughing > Has to abandon assembly Sometimes it's better to assess the situation
Board /b/ - Random v Settings Mobile Home : Anonymous 12/02/21(Thu)23:49:19 No.867857894 > Be me > Go to primary school assembly in Year 5 (Britbong land) > One day the head teacher is asking us about school rules > Autistic kid puts hand up > Head teacher looks thrilled he can join the discussion 40 KB JPG > "Yes, what rule did you remember?" > "Don't say n-----" > Entire school hall loses it > He has to be taken outside > Head teacher can't carry on, everyone's laughing > Has to abandon assembly Sometimes it's better to assess the situation

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Anon Believes that He Can Fool a Trained Nurse with a Plastic Arm | /r/Greentext


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And on that bombshell… | /r/Greentext


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