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Anon performs a routine checkup. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/08/21(Fri)02:14:13 No.65680030 TheQuartering OTheQiarterine >Be me My Doctor asked me today if wanted the flu shot. >Doctor My reply: The flu is still a THING?!?! >Unhealthy 5ft tall 400lb manbeast comes in for checkup >Will not shut up about how SJWS infiltrated his games and movies >After telling him about his low T count and type 2 diabetes I ask if he'd like a flu shot She laughed. I politely declined as I always do but this time with a quip about how only 11 people got it in all of 2020 worldwide she did not laugh 4:30 PM 06 Cet 21 Twiter Wet App 75 KB JPG >he makes a fuss and high pitch shrieks "THE FLU IS STILL A THING!?" >Uncomfortably laugh to humor him and get him out the door faster >he cracks a "joke" about only a few people having it in 2020 >couldn't laugh because of how unfunny it was >he looks smug, like he just owned the libs yet again >he pees on my floor >leaves
: Anonymous 10/08/21(Fri)02:14:13 No.65680030 TheQuartering OTheQiarterine >Be me My Doctor asked me today if wanted the flu shot. >Doctor My reply: The flu is still a THING?!?! >Unhealthy 5ft tall 400lb manbeast comes in for checkup >Will not shut up about how SJWS infiltrated his games and movies >After telling him about his low T count and type 2 diabetes I ask if he'd like a flu shot She laughed. I politely declined as I always do but this time with a quip about how only 11 people got it in all of 2020 worldwide she did not laugh 4:30 PM 06 Cet 21 Twiter Wet App 75 KB JPG >he makes a fuss and high pitch shrieks "THE FLU IS STILL A THING!?" >Uncomfortably laugh to humor him and get him out the door faster >he cracks a "joke" about only a few people having it in 2020 >couldn't laugh because of how unfunny it was >he looks smug, like he just owned the libs yet again >he pees on my floor >leaves

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Anon realizes he is a beta provider | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 6sQDVTGa 10/08/21(Fri)04:58:30 No.41665243 COHOL 200 PROOF FCA45871-B85F-4439-9F09-342C5059E4F7.jpg 694 KB JPG >gf gives me her iCloud to transfer our engagement photos and cute s--- bc I'm the tech geek > Over 20k pics of s--- >mostly memes and college stuff >folder called "him" >oh no >look inside >dozens of videos and photos of her with her ex >in the videos he f---- her like an animal >choking, BDSM, ropes, throatfucking, a---, etc.. >mfw I shut the laptop >Mfw she's always told me she's just not "a sexual person >l've had starfish sex with a woman I bought a house for meanwhile her FWB who looked like Vinnie hacker was making her make noises like a cat
: Anonymous (ID: 6sQDVTGa 10/08/21(Fri)04:58:30 No.41665243 COHOL 200 PROOF FCA45871-B85F-4439-9F09-342C5059E4F7.jpg 694 KB JPG >gf gives me her iCloud to transfer our engagement photos and cute s--- bc I'm the tech geek > Over 20k pics of s--- >mostly memes and college stuff >folder called "him" >oh no >look inside >dozens of videos and photos of her with her ex >in the videos he f---- her like an animal >choking, BDSM, ropes, throatfucking, a---, etc.. >mfw I shut the laptop >Mfw she's always told me she's just not "a sexual person >l've had starfish sex with a woman I bought a house for meanwhile her FWB who looked like Vinnie hacker was making her make noises like a cat

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Anon's hero disappoints him | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/08/21(Fri)13:05:57 No.63835482 >3 years ago >I was a flaming fat f-----, 220 lbs 5'8 >Decide to man up and go to the gym >Get nervous as s---, people are chuckling at me >Chad sees me, offers to help out 7 KB JPG >Basically becomes my mentor >Start making gains >Fast forward to now >Life's going great, have had a relationship >Encounter Gymchad in a diner >He's accompanied by this f------ bouncing ball of a kid, looks like picrel >Disgusting little s--- is devouring a burger like the Apple of Eden >Ask him who the kid is. >"Oh haha Anon that's my son." The f---? How does a Chad like that raise this f------ gremlin? I've honestly never been more disappointed in someone like this
: Anonymous 10/08/21(Fri)13:05:57 No.63835482 >3 years ago >I was a flaming fat f-----, 220 lbs 5'8 >Decide to man up and go to the gym >Get nervous as s---, people are chuckling at me >Chad sees me, offers to help out 7 KB JPG >Basically becomes my mentor >Start making gains >Fast forward to now >Life's going great, have had a relationship >Encounter Gymchad in a diner >He's accompanied by this f------ bouncing ball of a kid, looks like picrel >Disgusting little s--- is devouring a burger like the Apple of Eden >Ask him who the kid is. >"Oh haha Anon that's my son." The f---? How does a Chad like that raise this f------ gremlin? I've honestly never been more disappointed in someone like this

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Anon isn’t Catholic | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/07/21(Thu)11:59:10 No.864567264 >art class >l don't like anybody, sitting in the back corner by myself >everybody is weird or really gay >get bored >talk to the one of the Trump guys >chat about shampoo (for some f------ LA 467 KB JPG reason) and football >ask about the Events the Church does every week >he asks if I believe in God >I tell him I'm kinda just Catholic, only for him to say it's offensive to him saying „Kinda“ >I commit to Catholicism and say it's like the older kind, so it's better >asks a couple other questions >"Okay, anon, I think you can come by! It's got some food and games“ >"Yeah, anon! You should check it out! I didn't know you were Catholic." >mfw when Il'm a satanist
: Anonymous 10/07/21(Thu)11:59:10 No.864567264 >art class >l don't like anybody, sitting in the back corner by myself >everybody is weird or really gay >get bored >talk to the one of the Trump guys >chat about shampoo (for some f------ LA 467 KB JPG reason) and football >ask about the Events the Church does every week >he asks if I believe in God >I tell him I'm kinda just Catholic, only for him to say it's offensive to him saying „Kinda“ >I commit to Catholicism and say it's like the older kind, so it's better >asks a couple other questions >"Okay, anon, I think you can come by! It's got some food and games“ >"Yeah, anon! You should check it out! I didn't know you were Catholic." >mfw when Il'm a satanist

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Oh shit its the Dwarf | /r/Greentext

>be me, alone in uni library >studying late for math exam tomorrow >11:00 pm >suddenly an eerie feeling washes over me 462 KB JPG >l'm being watched >I stand up and shout "SHOW YOURSELF" a faint giggle all too familiar sounds through > ... the hall >the r--- dwarf >panic >break into a sprint through the bookshelves >I can hear its massive c--- drag across the carpet as it chases me >"CHНННННННННННН" >oh f--- >run for the closest door >bathroom >enter and barricade the door >phew >safe >search the bathroom for weapons but nothing >"hihihihihihi" >the giggle emanates from the urinals and the toilets >hes in the sewer system! >liquid pre-c-- starts dripping from the tap >"for anon no escape but for me a hole to gape" help me anons
>be me, alone in uni library >studying late for math exam tomorrow >11:00 pm >suddenly an eerie feeling washes over me 462 KB JPG >l'm being watched >I stand up and shout "SHOW YOURSELF" a faint giggle all too familiar sounds through > ... the hall >the r--- dwarf >panic >break into a sprint through the bookshelves >I can hear its massive c--- drag across the carpet as it chases me >"CHНННННННННННН" >oh f--- >run for the closest door >bathroom >enter and barricade the door >phew >safe >search the bathroom for weapons but nothing >"hihihihihihi" >the giggle emanates from the urinals and the toilets >hes in the sewer system! >liquid pre-c-- starts dripping from the tap >"for anon no escape but for me a hole to gape" help me anons

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Anon is a Softened Criminal | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/10/19(Tue)15:20:42 No.815935798 >be me >commit jaywalking several times >commit online piracy more times than I can count >never been caught fear me mortals, your laws do not shackle me 84 KB JPG
: Anonymous 12/10/19(Tue)15:20:42 No.815935798 >be me >commit jaywalking several times >commit online piracy more times than I can count >never been caught fear me mortals, your laws do not shackle me 84 KB JPG

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Anon s Endgame | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/30/21(Fri)17:20:40 No.63458186 >mom unironically caught me s------- on the floor it's f------ over 49 KB JPG 9 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 04/30/21(Fri)17:20:40 No.63458186 >mom unironically caught me s------- on the floor it's f------ over 49 KB JPG 9 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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The Broken Dam | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/06/21(Wed)23:42:05 No.65666913 >check recent files >someone found my horse mating vids folder >and spent 45 minutes watching them >mom avoids eye contact at dinner 43 KB JPG
: Anonymous 10/06/21(Wed)23:42:05 No.65666913 >check recent files >someone found my horse mating vids folder >and spent 45 minutes watching them >mom avoids eye contact at dinner 43 KB JPG

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Bloons Tower Defense | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/07/21(Thu)17:01:49 No.864579631 >see someone listening to music in a discord vc >notice there are 7 music bots in the discord >idea.jpg >join 82 KB PNG >play monkey sounds on 5 bots >play pirate shanties on the remaining music bot >"yo what the f---" >ROFL while listening to some boomer yell "SHUT THE F--- UP" at bots
: Anonymous 10/07/21(Thu)17:01:49 No.864579631 >see someone listening to music in a discord vc >notice there are 7 music bots in the discord >idea.jpg >join 82 KB PNG >play monkey sounds on 5 bots >play pirate shanties on the remaining music bot >"yo what the f---" >ROFL while listening to some boomer yell "SHUT THE F--- UP" at bots

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Anon KOs a pedo | /r/Greentext

Here's a story for you kids > be me > 24 > go to the park with my nephew and my niece > One is an 8 year old girl and one is a 12 year old boy. 59 KB JPG > let them do their dumb s--- while keeping a keen eye on them. > Creepy guy in his 30s presumably comes up to them. > creepy dead eyes > hairline is f----- > fat c--- > they aren't to far off so I can hear their conversation. > "hey do you two like animals?" > They're kids so of course they say yes. > "oh nice I work at a zoo and I work with all types of animals." >I call out to my nephew to come to me. >I say “Make sure that f----- doesn't do anything over the line" > He nods > Before he reaches the creepy guy I hear the creepy guy say to my niece > "When you're in high school, the boys will be all over you. Maybe I could teach you a thing or two beforehand" > grabs her waist > Nephew gives me a look > I immediately run to the f----- and grab him by the neck and slam him down. > "what the hell are you doing? I'm going to call the f------ police on you a------" > punch the c--- once > knocks him out > people gather around > police arrive and arrest him > my niece asks me what he meant by the high school thing > "he was talking about math and how all the boys will help you with it" > she asks "okay then why did you punch him" > "it's my job to help you with math not him" And that's really it. If you guys see any people like this. Do me a favour and give them a good punch to the teeth
Here's a story for you kids > be me > 24 > go to the park with my nephew and my niece > One is an 8 year old girl and one is a 12 year old boy. 59 KB JPG > let them do their dumb s--- while keeping a keen eye on them. > Creepy guy in his 30s presumably comes up to them. > creepy dead eyes > hairline is f----- > fat c--- > they aren't to far off so I can hear their conversation. > "hey do you two like animals?" > They're kids so of course they say yes. > "oh nice I work at a zoo and I work with all types of animals." >I call out to my nephew to come to me. >I say “Make sure that f----- doesn't do anything over the line" > He nods > Before he reaches the creepy guy I hear the creepy guy say to my niece > "When you're in high school, the boys will be all over you. Maybe I could teach you a thing or two beforehand" > grabs her waist > Nephew gives me a look > I immediately run to the f----- and grab him by the neck and slam him down. > "what the hell are you doing? I'm going to call the f------ police on you a------" > punch the c--- once > knocks him out > people gather around > police arrive and arrest him > my niece asks me what he meant by the high school thing > "he was talking about math and how all the boys will help you with it" > she asks "okay then why did you punch him" > "it's my job to help you with math not him" And that's really it. If you guys see any people like this. Do me a favour and give them a good punch to the teeth

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Anon Wears a Mask | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/27/21(Tue)10:53:06 No.859783084 >am fully vaccinated >still wear a mask in public because it triggers antimaskers into fits >l'm free to wear a mask and that freedom makes them seeth. 288 KB JPG
: Anonymous 07/27/21(Tue)10:53:06 No.859783084 >am fully vaccinated >still wear a mask in public because it triggers antimaskers into fits >l'm free to wear a mask and that freedom makes them seeth. 288 KB JPG

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Pay to play | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Making friends isn't as hard a...) 10/07/21(Thu)13:17:23 No.65671075 >be me, today >felt loney the whole month and watched self-impovement content >go on a walk around the neighborhood >tell myself I'm going to try the "old man" approach where you say 73 KB PNG hi and talk to everyone you see >some young lawn care serive guy is shoveling dirt into a wheel barrel >l say to him "looks like hard work" >he says "yeah, it is" >i say "let me give it a try" >I'm shoveling the dirt >he says "this makes my job a little easier" >i tell him the I don't mind because I don't need to work because I bought dogecoin (not even true I'm just a neet) >now he's greatly interested >I'm telling him about crypto and the lady who's house he was working on asks us about what we're talking about >i help both of them set up a coinbase account and we're all been talking like an hour after that >add the dude on IG I guess we're friends now.
: Anonymous Making friends isn't as hard a...) 10/07/21(Thu)13:17:23 No.65671075 >be me, today >felt loney the whole month and watched self-impovement content >go on a walk around the neighborhood >tell myself I'm going to try the "old man" approach where you say 73 KB PNG hi and talk to everyone you see >some young lawn care serive guy is shoveling dirt into a wheel barrel >l say to him "looks like hard work" >he says "yeah, it is" >i say "let me give it a try" >I'm shoveling the dirt >he says "this makes my job a little easier" >i tell him the I don't mind because I don't need to work because I bought dogecoin (not even true I'm just a neet) >now he's greatly interested >I'm telling him about crypto and the lady who's house he was working on asks us about what we're talking about >i help both of them set up a coinbase account and we're all been talking like an hour after that >add the dude on IG I guess we're friends now.

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Anon debunks asian culture | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/08/21(Fri)01:56:45 No.65674513 >Move to Southeast Asia to teach English, but mostly to find love >Finding a girlfriend ends up being even easier than I expected, most girls end up making the first move on me for a change >All my high school student girls 83 KB JPG look at me with the "f--- me" eyes >Literally treated like a celebrity, I've had girls I don't even know literally grab my arm while walking past them on the street and ask "f--- me?" for no pay (initially) >Then end up realizing the more we talk after a few weeks that I actually am a walking wallet and social trophy to them >Only then started to realize asian culture (even east Asian culture) is centered around prestige and social class. There's no such thing as true love in Asia if you're not financially well off or white. Luckily I'm both of those things, but I don't feel like I'm being loved for me. When I f--- these girls I can obviously tell they're into me, but when I have usual boyfriend-girlfriend conversations with them I start to doubt that they actually like me for who I am. I was always an Incel in America, but now l'm a freaking p---- slayer and still feel empty. Is this what Stacy's feel like? Devoid of unconditional love and emotional affection?
: Anonymous 10/08/21(Fri)01:56:45 No.65674513 >Move to Southeast Asia to teach English, but mostly to find love >Finding a girlfriend ends up being even easier than I expected, most girls end up making the first move on me for a change >All my high school student girls 83 KB JPG look at me with the "f--- me" eyes >Literally treated like a celebrity, I've had girls I don't even know literally grab my arm while walking past them on the street and ask "f--- me?" for no pay (initially) >Then end up realizing the more we talk after a few weeks that I actually am a walking wallet and social trophy to them >Only then started to realize asian culture (even east Asian culture) is centered around prestige and social class. There's no such thing as true love in Asia if you're not financially well off or white. Luckily I'm both of those things, but I don't feel like I'm being loved for me. When I f--- these girls I can obviously tell they're into me, but when I have usual boyfriend-girlfriend conversations with them I start to doubt that they actually like me for who I am. I was always an Incel in America, but now l'm a freaking p---- slayer and still feel empty. Is this what Stacy's feel like? Devoid of unconditional love and emotional affection?

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anon has a suicidal dilemma | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/07/21(Thu)14:49:59 No.65671918 >was gonna kill myself this week >sister's closest friend just killed themselves 30 minutes ago DANG >cant burden her with another suicide why do bitches always gotta steal the spotlight 17 KB JPG
Anonymous 10/07/21(Thu)14:49:59 No.65671918 >was gonna kill myself this week >sister's closest friend just killed themselves 30 minutes ago DANG >cant burden her with another suicide why do bitches always gotta steal the spotlight 17 KB JPG

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A Pro Gamer Move | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/06/21(Wed)22:40:28 No.864541000 > Be contract employee at company > Boss says my contract won't be renewed > Apply for new job at same company > Get job offer > Reject it 65 KB JPG
: Anonymous 10/06/21(Wed)22:40:28 No.864541000 > Be contract employee at company > Boss says my contract won't be renewed > Apply for new job at same company > Get job offer > Reject it 65 KB JPG

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Sticky situation | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/07/21(Thu)15:15:43 No.65672199 >The mayo >The mayo bottle is greasy >The mayo bottle will always be HELLMANNS 100% RECYCD OrE greasy >You cannot un-grease the mayo bottle 302 KB JPG >Your hands are always covered in sandwich supply debris >The mayo bottle is always greasy >Even if you touched nothing else before the mayo bottle, it makes your hands greasy >The mayo bottle slowly greases the fridge >You cannot clean either of them >You will never free yourself from grease >The mayo 5 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 10/07/21(Thu)15:17:38 No.65672214 >puts the bottle under running water >rub for a few minutes >wipe with paper towel >put bottle back in fridge or just stop picking up the bottle with your dirty hands you dumb f---
: Anonymous 10/07/21(Thu)15:15:43 No.65672199 >The mayo >The mayo bottle is greasy >The mayo bottle will always be HELLMANNS 100% RECYCD OrE greasy >You cannot un-grease the mayo bottle 302 KB JPG >Your hands are always covered in sandwich supply debris >The mayo bottle is always greasy >Even if you touched nothing else before the mayo bottle, it makes your hands greasy >The mayo bottle slowly greases the fridge >You cannot clean either of them >You will never free yourself from grease >The mayo 5 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 10/07/21(Thu)15:17:38 No.65672214 >puts the bottle under running water >rub for a few minutes >wipe with paper towel >put bottle back in fridge or just stop picking up the bottle with your dirty hands you dumb f---

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Anon makes a deal with the devil | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/07/21(Thu)18:24:40 No.65674198 >run into weird satanic witchcraft cringe dude on insta >instead of calling him an idiot and getting blocked I try to have fun with it >tell him to use his "powers" to get my coworker to fall in love with me 31 KB JPG >"ok" >asks me to DM him photos of her >no word for a few days >kinda just forget about >2 days ago finally DMs me "done" >yesterday coworker was acting really really chummy with me >texted me today asking if I'm doing anything on Saturday to go on a date >get scared realizing l've very possibly made an actual deal with satan >whathaveidone Guys.. God knows I was just trolling right? I'm not gonna be cast to hell for this right? I didn't think this was real but also my coworker is really hot so I don't want to just ignore her.
: Anonymous 10/07/21(Thu)18:24:40 No.65674198 >run into weird satanic witchcraft cringe dude on insta >instead of calling him an idiot and getting blocked I try to have fun with it >tell him to use his "powers" to get my coworker to fall in love with me 31 KB JPG >"ok" >asks me to DM him photos of her >no word for a few days >kinda just forget about >2 days ago finally DMs me "done" >yesterday coworker was acting really really chummy with me >texted me today asking if I'm doing anything on Saturday to go on a date >get scared realizing l've very possibly made an actual deal with satan >whathaveidone Guys.. God knows I was just trolling right? I'm not gonna be cast to hell for this right? I didn't think this was real but also my coworker is really hot so I don't want to just ignore her.

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Japan is the model | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: mIF/4VTZ 01/05/21(Tue)02:11:56 No.300213273 Everything about Japan makes sense when you realize its basically an entire nation run by right wing, autistic nerds. >Efficiency is prioritized. >Orderly conduct and rule following 212 KB JPG emphasized as social values. >Men are too shy to seduce women independently so they mainly rely on matchmaking through friends. >6.2% of marriages are still arranged. >Legal prostitution for guys who can't get laid. >Emphasis on girls being cute and child-like. Delayed physical and emotional maturity is common. >More intelligent on average. >Loves robots and artificial intelligence. >Media works overtime to essentially brainwash the women into being attracted to shy nerdy guys. Japan is proof that if right-wing autists ruled the world, we'd create the greatest society ever known to mankind.
: Anonymous (ID: mIF/4VTZ 01/05/21(Tue)02:11:56 No.300213273 Everything about Japan makes sense when you realize its basically an entire nation run by right wing, autistic nerds. >Efficiency is prioritized. >Orderly conduct and rule following 212 KB JPG emphasized as social values. >Men are too shy to seduce women independently so they mainly rely on matchmaking through friends. >6.2% of marriages are still arranged. >Legal prostitution for guys who can't get laid. >Emphasis on girls being cute and child-like. Delayed physical and emotional maturity is common. >More intelligent on average. >Loves robots and artificial intelligence. >Media works overtime to essentially brainwash the women into being attracted to shy nerdy guys. Japan is proof that if right-wing autists ruled the world, we'd create the greatest society ever known to mankind.

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Second Opinion | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/06/21(Wed)20:40:18 No.65663565 >meet girl on insta >all her posts are FDS s--- about high value males and how women shouldn't serve men and they shouldn't be attractive just for hey ^^ sit down wherever u want men 77 KB JPG >keep talking to her and start sexting >she keeps saying she wants to worship me and wants me to throw her around and use her I feel like this is a constant theme with most women I talk to. Why is the cognitive dissonance so prevalent?
: Anonymous 10/06/21(Wed)20:40:18 No.65663565 >meet girl on insta >all her posts are FDS s--- about high value males and how women shouldn't serve men and they shouldn't be attractive just for hey ^^ sit down wherever u want men 77 KB JPG >keep talking to her and start sexting >she keeps saying she wants to worship me and wants me to throw her around and use her I feel like this is a constant theme with most women I talk to. Why is the cognitive dissonance so prevalent?

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Ferris you sly bastard | /r/Greentext

>Be me >22 year old virgin >Complete f------ loser >Can't talk to girls >At bar drinking away sorrows >Qt3.14 approaches me, asks for my 6 KB JPG number >wut >Give to her, start texting >Flash forward a few days >Invites me over to smoke weed >Super super dank s--- >Get high as m------------ balls >Girl invites me back to her room >Gets on top, starts kissing me >Holyshititshappening.jpg >Hey anon, l'm gonna turn on a movie for some background noise >Barely even hear her, blood entirely below the belt >Turns on some Netflix movie, starts taking off clothes >"Incredible! One of the worst performances of my career and they never doubted it for a second" >It's f------ Ferris Bueller >My favorite movie >My stoned ass only wants to watch this movie >I will literally f------ kill myself if I don't get to watch this movie right now >Getthefuckoffmebitch.png >ls something wrong Anon? >I can't have sex in front of Ferris >Sit on the edge of her bed and watch the entire movie without blinking >Erect the entire time >She falls asleep >Finish movie, call friend to take me home >Wake up next morning >Oh my dear f------ god how autistic am I >Girl angry that I ignored her and blocks me >Mfw my stoned ass watched a movie from the 80s rather than get laid >Pic related
>Be me >22 year old virgin >Complete f------ loser >Can't talk to girls >At bar drinking away sorrows >Qt3.14 approaches me, asks for my 6 KB JPG number >wut >Give to her, start texting >Flash forward a few days >Invites me over to smoke weed >Super super dank s--- >Get high as m------------ balls >Girl invites me back to her room >Gets on top, starts kissing me >Holyshititshappening.jpg >Hey anon, l'm gonna turn on a movie for some background noise >Barely even hear her, blood entirely below the belt >Turns on some Netflix movie, starts taking off clothes >"Incredible! One of the worst performances of my career and they never doubted it for a second" >It's f------ Ferris Bueller >My favorite movie >My stoned ass only wants to watch this movie >I will literally f------ kill myself if I don't get to watch this movie right now >Getthefuckoffmebitch.png >ls something wrong Anon? >I can't have sex in front of Ferris >Sit on the edge of her bed and watch the entire movie without blinking >Erect the entire time >She falls asleep >Finish movie, call friend to take me home >Wake up next morning >Oh my dear f------ god how autistic am I >Girl angry that I ignored her and blocks me >Mfw my stoned ass watched a movie from the 80s rather than get laid >Pic related

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