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Anon watches The Little Mermaid | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/10/21(Tue)09:06:09 No.125014102 >meets a disabled 14 year on the beach, completely naked >attempts to marry her without once trying to find our where her parents are 73 KB JPG : Anonymous 08/10/21(Tue)09:07:48 No.125014133 >>125014102 (OP)# Finders keepers.
: Anonymous 08/10/21(Tue)09:06:09 No.125014102 >meets a disabled 14 year on the beach, completely naked >attempts to marry her without once trying to find our where her parents are 73 KB JPG : Anonymous 08/10/21(Tue)09:07:48 No.125014133 >>125014102 (OP)# Finders keepers.

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God bless lil cats | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/10/21(Thu)04:44:21 No.64081337 >cat barks at me for 5 minutes >not sure why >eventually decide to make a pillow fort for cat >cat stops meowing and goes to sleep >check on cat and see she is rolled over 74 KB PNG asleep :)
: Anonymous 06/10/21(Thu)04:44:21 No.64081337 >cat barks at me for 5 minutes >not sure why >eventually decide to make a pillow fort for cat >cat stops meowing and goes to sleep >check on cat and see she is rolled over 74 KB PNG asleep :)

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Anon likes orange | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/25/21(Mon)21:29:29 No.62035306 Is there any color more based than orange? >oranges >Gods glorious sunlight >my piss 14 KB JPG >basketballs >Fresh autumn leaves >pumpkins
: Anonymous 01/25/21(Mon)21:29:29 No.62035306 Is there any color more based than orange? >oranges >Gods glorious sunlight >my piss 14 KB JPG >basketballs >Fresh autumn leaves >pumpkins

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Anons has a dog | /r/Greentext


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Goodbye, Columbus | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous BLOG 08/20/21(Fri)22:11:08 No.65069298 >HS dropout spent 4 years in the military jerking off on artillery (13B gang) >Now Im 27 work in a dairy spray drying facility (I operate some machine that processes dairy tanker trucks) >27/hour, 5-10 hours OT/ week >I know its not a lot compared to white 941 KB JPG collar work but I feel pretty comfortable >Start dating a girl with a masters degree in something computer related >no Idea what she does, but its something with software at some cool startup >always feel intimidated by the class difference between us >pick her up at her apartment and its a really expensive complex in Burlington VT(way overpriced metro area) >feeling really insecure about looking dumb and poor and she actually seems like a well educated, smart successful chick >try to avoid talking about "where did you go to school" or money type stuff >on our 4th date she mentions she's making payments on her car>her rent is literally 1800/month>she cant even afford to fix her car>shes making payments on her f------ car >mfw my car is paid off, paid in cash day 1 and I make enough to cover my monthly rent and most of my monthly expenses in a f------ week I never lol'd so hard in my life I thought I was poor but turns out she's the poor retard
: Anonymous BLOG 08/20/21(Fri)22:11:08 No.65069298 >HS dropout spent 4 years in the military jerking off on artillery (13B gang) >Now Im 27 work in a dairy spray drying facility (I operate some machine that processes dairy tanker trucks) >27/hour, 5-10 hours OT/ week >I know its not a lot compared to white 941 KB JPG collar work but I feel pretty comfortable >Start dating a girl with a masters degree in something computer related >no Idea what she does, but its something with software at some cool startup >always feel intimidated by the class difference between us >pick her up at her apartment and its a really expensive complex in Burlington VT(way overpriced metro area) >feeling really insecure about looking dumb and poor and she actually seems like a well educated, smart successful chick >try to avoid talking about "where did you go to school" or money type stuff >on our 4th date she mentions she's making payments on her car>her rent is literally 1800/month>she cant even afford to fix her car>shes making payments on her f------ car >mfw my car is paid off, paid in cash day 1 and I make enough to cover my monthly rent and most of my monthly expenses in a f------ week I never lol'd so hard in my life I thought I was poor but turns out she's the poor retard

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Anon is a hacker | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/12/19(Thu)06:37:54 No.809373009 How I almost hacked borderlands 3 preload AMI DISABLED? > be me > have bl3 pre loaded on console > day before launch, cant sleep ..can't wait 346 KB JPG Geniusidea.exe > spring out of bed > grab controller > manually roll forward date on console to 9/13 BI3.exe > still won't start Almost famous
: Anonymous 09/12/19(Thu)06:37:54 No.809373009 How I almost hacked borderlands 3 preload AMI DISABLED? > be me > have bl3 pre loaded on console > day before launch, cant sleep ..can't wait 346 KB JPG Geniusidea.exe > spring out of bed > grab controller > manually roll forward date on console to 9/13 BI3.exe > still won't start Almost famous

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Anon Overshares | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/21/21(Sat)00:24:21 No.65070149 >tell girl I've done a lot of different drugs throughout my life >she seems nervous I f----- up didn't 1? She started it, she asked if l've ever smoked pot. 9 KB JPG
: Anonymous 08/21/21(Sat)00:24:21 No.65070149 >tell girl I've done a lot of different drugs throughout my life >she seems nervous I f----- up didn't 1? She started it, she asked if l've ever smoked pot. 9 KB JPG

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Anon trolls two subreddits discords update in comments | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/21/21(Sat)17:35:49 No.861503898 >bored today going through /r/greentext >join their discord >it's what you'd expect of school kids home for summer >reddit mod SentinelBacon 32 KB JPG preparing to raid /r/dreamsmp discord to call them n------ or something >planhatching.exe >let a dreamsmp mod know of the plan he s---- the bed and locks down the server >kek >proceed to rub it in the /r/greentext discords members faces >SentinelBacons p----- calls me a n----- f----- >the whole server throws abuse at me and threatens to doxx me >banned >friend informs me they moved to troll minecraft servers >tell the dream admin they are still planning the raid as soon as its unlocked "We just won't unlock it then" >topkek >tell him l'll keep him updated mfw I control /r/dreamsmp discord mfw this greentext is posted on /r/greentext mfw both reddit mods see this mfw the only winner is me
: Anonymous 08/21/21(Sat)17:35:49 No.861503898 >bored today going through /r/greentext >join their discord >it's what you'd expect of school kids home for summer >reddit mod SentinelBacon 32 KB JPG preparing to raid /r/dreamsmp discord to call them n------ or something >planhatching.exe >let a dreamsmp mod know of the plan he s---- the bed and locks down the server >kek >proceed to rub it in the /r/greentext discords members faces >SentinelBacons p----- calls me a n----- f----- >the whole server throws abuse at me and threatens to doxx me >banned >friend informs me they moved to troll minecraft servers >tell the dream admin they are still planning the raid as soon as its unlocked "We just won't unlock it then" >topkek >tell him l'll keep him updated mfw I control /r/dreamsmp discord mfw this greentext is posted on /r/greentext mfw both reddit mods see this mfw the only winner is me

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4chan’s Reputation Precedes It | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/20/21(Fri)23:39:29 No.65069886 >go to make post >remember what this place is >nvm 1.9 MB GIF
: Anonymous 08/20/21(Fri)23:39:29 No.65069886 >go to make post >remember what this place is >nvm 1.9 MB GIF

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Anon takes a piss | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/21/21(Sat)11:20:04 No.861487184 >taking a piss >see loose pube on my knob >grab it off mid stream >piss all over my hands and floor >what did I think would happen? 19 KB JPG
: Anonymous 08/21/21(Sat)11:20:04 No.861487184 >taking a piss >see loose pube on my knob >grab it off mid stream >piss all over my hands and floor >what did I think would happen? 19 KB JPG

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based bri' isch officer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: IEQUUIUL ) 05/20/17(Sat)14:49:51 No.126302746 Typical everyday average British morning: >wake up >bobby knocks on door >"oi! open up you cheeky bastard and show me your 47 KB JPG sleeping licence!" >fumble around and finally find my licence >"s-sorry good sir. It's right here... God save the Queen." >bobby peers in and catches a glimpse of me telly >"halt! where's your TV licence you c---?!" >"draw TV licence from me wallet" >bobby gives a look like the bloody Queen's dodger >"oi mate! where's your permit for this licence?" >show him my licence permit >"this licence permit is expired. I'm taking you in!" >bobby draws his toy gun >stab him with my unregistered butterknife
: Anonymous (ID: IEQUUIUL ) 05/20/17(Sat)14:49:51 No.126302746 Typical everyday average British morning: >wake up >bobby knocks on door >"oi! open up you cheeky bastard and show me your 47 KB JPG sleeping licence!" >fumble around and finally find my licence >"s-sorry good sir. It's right here... God save the Queen." >bobby peers in and catches a glimpse of me telly >"halt! where's your TV licence you c---?!" >"draw TV licence from me wallet" >bobby gives a look like the bloody Queen's dodger >"oi mate! where's your permit for this licence?" >show him my licence permit >"this licence permit is expired. I'm taking you in!" >bobby draws his toy gun >stab him with my unregistered butterknife

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Anon is Ice Cube | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/20/21(Fri)21:58:34 No.65069196 >be me >wake up at 12 PM >my friend group wants to hang out, throw footballs and frisbees >whatever I join in >go back to my house to f--- around on BeamNG.drive 37 KB JPG >shitloads of fun >have to go to work >despite spraying dishes all damn day, I notice a qt coworker staring at me several times from the reflection of the glass pane >was oddly helpful with orders of which I can take on myself >shift ends, I order ice cream and bike home at night, no handlebars, eating ice cream whilst staring at the night sky >pic related >today was a good day
: Anonymous 08/20/21(Fri)21:58:34 No.65069196 >be me >wake up at 12 PM >my friend group wants to hang out, throw footballs and frisbees >whatever I join in >go back to my house to f--- around on BeamNG.drive 37 KB JPG >shitloads of fun >have to go to work >despite spraying dishes all damn day, I notice a qt coworker staring at me several times from the reflection of the glass pane >was oddly helpful with orders of which I can take on myself >shift ends, I order ice cream and bike home at night, no handlebars, eating ice cream whilst staring at the night sky >pic related >today was a good day

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Anon Passes the Ammunition | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/21/21(Sat)01:03:58 No.65070512 >tfw let my guard down and shared some personal stuff with my mom She's going to use this new knowledge against me soon 26 KB JPG
: Anonymous 08/21/21(Sat)01:03:58 No.65070512 >tfw let my guard down and shared some personal stuff with my mom She's going to use this new knowledge against me soon 26 KB JPG

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Anon stagnates | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/21/20(Sat)14:32:58 No.61025172 >sleep for 12+ hours >wake up at noon >refresh the same few websites over and over again >do absolutely f------ nothing >start and try to play video game 360 KB PNG >quit after a few minutes because i cant even force myself to have fun with it anymore >continue refreshing 4chan and youtube for hours again occasionally watching a few youtube videos that look interesting and that i havent seen yet >go to sleep feeling like a tired corpse even though i havent done anything is this even a life anymore?
: Anonymous 11/21/20(Sat)14:32:58 No.61025172 >sleep for 12+ hours >wake up at noon >refresh the same few websites over and over again >do absolutely f------ nothing >start and try to play video game 360 KB PNG >quit after a few minutes because i cant even force myself to have fun with it anymore >continue refreshing 4chan and youtube for hours again occasionally watching a few youtube videos that look interesting and that i havent seen yet >go to sleep feeling like a tired corpse even though i havent done anything is this even a life anymore?

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Anon gets exposed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/21/21(Sat)11:37:12 No.65074027 >guy from class messages me asking for some notes >clearly gay, cartoonishly gay even, like something from a /pol/ ms paint comic >try to keep the conversation short and to the point >he keeps messaging me 33 KB JPG >i give him one word replies >he asks me if i want to go watch a movie >He's not getting the hint >send him a message saying "no. I'm straight" >he gets angry >start getting random messages from people I don't know insulting me >google the gay guy's name, find his twitter account, he posted screenshots of our convo saying I'm being a bigot and that it wasn't a sexual invitation
: Anonymous 08/21/21(Sat)11:37:12 No.65074027 >guy from class messages me asking for some notes >clearly gay, cartoonishly gay even, like something from a /pol/ ms paint comic >try to keep the conversation short and to the point >he keeps messaging me 33 KB JPG >i give him one word replies >he asks me if i want to go watch a movie >He's not getting the hint >send him a message saying "no. I'm straight" >he gets angry >start getting random messages from people I don't know insulting me >google the gay guy's name, find his twitter account, he posted screenshots of our convo saying I'm being a bigot and that it wasn't a sexual invitation

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Cat's out of the bag | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/21/21(Sat)15:38:08 No.65076367 >cat headbutts me really hard >think we have a special relationship because of that >go to friends house >their cat does same thing >no longer appreciate and feel special when my cat headbutts 133 KB JPG me Is this what having past partners feels like?
: Anonymous 08/21/21(Sat)15:38:08 No.65076367 >cat headbutts me really hard >think we have a special relationship because of that >go to friends house >their cat does same thing >no longer appreciate and feel special when my cat headbutts 133 KB JPG me Is this what having past partners feels like?

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Anon experiencing cognitive dissonance | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/22/21(Sun)02:00:28 No.65078962 >be me >thinking about quiting p--- >start to search for anti-p--- propaganda >find an interview with an ex- pornstart talking about her depression and her suicide attempts, but how she improved and is empowered 508 KB PNG now >search for her p--- videos and watch both the interview and the p--- video at the same time >best f------ fap of my whole life Why am I like this? I wanted to quit this s--- and I gained a new horrible fetish.
: Anonymous 08/22/21(Sun)02:00:28 No.65078962 >be me >thinking about quiting p--- >start to search for anti-p--- propaganda >find an interview with an ex- pornstart talking about her depression and her suicide attempts, but how she improved and is empowered 508 KB PNG now >search for her p--- videos and watch both the interview and the p--- video at the same time >best f------ fap of my whole life Why am I like this? I wanted to quit this s--- and I gained a new horrible fetish.

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Pain in the neck | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous First date 08/21/21(Sat)13:22:53 No.65075068 >a girl shows interest in me >we chat for day's >we both seem intrigued >decide to go out >l buy her a gift >we finally set up a date >l go 31 KB PNG >she's not there >sends me an image of the building where we were supposed to meet saying she was there >lighting doesn't match the time of the day nor the look of the building >she keeps sending me text's >I decide to roll with it (f--- it) >we set up a second date >says she will call me to tell me time >the time has passed >no call from her >waiting for her excuse tonight at 11pm >i have no idea what to do with a necklace I brought for her My fırst date has surely been a blast. I don't know what to do bros.
: Anonymous First date 08/21/21(Sat)13:22:53 No.65075068 >a girl shows interest in me >we chat for day's >we both seem intrigued >decide to go out >l buy her a gift >we finally set up a date >l go 31 KB PNG >she's not there >sends me an image of the building where we were supposed to meet saying she was there >lighting doesn't match the time of the day nor the look of the building >she keeps sending me text's >I decide to roll with it (f--- it) >we set up a second date >says she will call me to tell me time >the time has passed >no call from her >waiting for her excuse tonight at 11pm >i have no idea what to do with a necklace I brought for her My fırst date has surely been a blast. I don't know what to do bros.

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Anon is a DM | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/21/21(Sat) 16:44:28 No.861516033 >Be me DM for 5E dnd game. >Level 2 party of 4 running about woodlands. >Random encounter generator.mov >Party comes across a hill giant cooking a Merchant and his cow over a fire straight Turducken style. >Hill giant is sat on top of merchant's goods. >Bard attempts to seduce hill giant in order to move 287 KB JPG them away from merchants goods. >Succeeds >Hill Giant slowly approaches Bard whilst licking lips. >Bard is fully prepared to f--- hill giant. >Leaves self open. >Gets messily devoured. >Group is p----- at me. W-- did they honestly expect to happen? : Anonymous 08/21/21(Sat)16:47:12 No.861516205 Degenerates deserve nothing but the sword.
: Anonymous 08/21/21(Sat) 16:44:28 No.861516033 >Be me DM for 5E dnd game. >Level 2 party of 4 running about woodlands. >Random encounter generator.mov >Party comes across a hill giant cooking a Merchant and his cow over a fire straight Turducken style. >Hill giant is sat on top of merchant's goods. >Bard attempts to seduce hill giant in order to move 287 KB JPG them away from merchants goods. >Succeeds >Hill Giant slowly approaches Bard whilst licking lips. >Bard is fully prepared to f--- hill giant. >Leaves self open. >Gets messily devoured. >Group is p----- at me. W-- did they honestly expect to happen? : Anonymous 08/21/21(Sat)16:47:12 No.861516205 Degenerates deserve nothing but the sword.

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Cross to bear | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/21/21(Sat)13:39:25 No.65075245 4niilvimeoi71.png 54 KB PNG >some random Jew dies in the middle east because he was being annoying Europe 2 thousand years later >OMG HE WAS THE SON OF GOD HE IS GOING TO RETURN AND PURGE THE WORLD OF ALL SIN AND EVIL AND IF YOU DON'T AGREE WITH US YOU'RE A HERETIC AND YOU'RE GOING TO BURN IN HELL FORA MILLION YEARS How can anyone take this s--- seriously?
: Anonymous 08/21/21(Sat)13:39:25 No.65075245 4niilvimeoi71.png 54 KB PNG >some random Jew dies in the middle east because he was being annoying Europe 2 thousand years later >OMG HE WAS THE SON OF GOD HE IS GOING TO RETURN AND PURGE THE WORLD OF ALL SIN AND EVIL AND IF YOU DON'T AGREE WITH US YOU'RE A HERETIC AND YOU'RE GOING TO BURN IN HELL FORA MILLION YEARS How can anyone take this s--- seriously?

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