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Anon gets a hotdog | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/15/19(Tue)09:02:28 No.790057917 >be me >8 y/o >on bus home >really damn hungry maybe the real rare >see much older kid (15) behind pepes were the friends we found along the way me open his hot dog >always been scared of older kids >hunger.mpg is using too much 12 KB JPG memory >"hey, can I please have a small bite?" >he turns to face me >doesn't utter a word, just smiles and hands me the whole hotdog >i grab it and sit back in my seat >happiest little f--- in the bus >22 now and I still regret not thanking that blessed soul Wherever you are, I hope you have a happy life my bro. 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 01/15/19(Tue)09:04:51 No.790058025 >>790057917 (OP) # fat c---
: Anonymous 01/15/19(Tue)09:02:28 No.790057917 >be me >8 y/o >on bus home >really damn hungry maybe the real rare >see much older kid (15) behind pepes were the friends we found along the way me open his hot dog >always been scared of older kids >hunger.mpg is using too much 12 KB JPG memory >"hey, can I please have a small bite?" >he turns to face me >doesn't utter a word, just smiles and hands me the whole hotdog >i grab it and sit back in my seat >happiest little f--- in the bus >22 now and I still regret not thanking that blessed soul Wherever you are, I hope you have a happy life my bro. 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 01/15/19(Tue)09:04:51 No.790058025 >>790057917 (OP) # fat c---

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'Tis a pity she was a whore | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/21/21(Sat)20:57:41 No.65080341 >be me >Go on discord looking for girls near me >find a girl who was browsing /soc/ and lives extremely close apparently >We meetup with another person from the discord server 728 КВ PNG feelsgoodman.jpg >The next day I go to her house and have sex >The sex is good but I don't nut >We hangout again cuddle and watch anime and have sex again >Start falling for her >"Oh anon l'll have sex with anyone when I'm horny lol" >She says she's pity f----- other anons before >Tfw pity f----- >We genuinely have similar interests and even the same birthday funny enough and she said I was cool >says she'd never be in a relationship with me >Doesn't want to break my heart even though she already kinda has so she wants to just be friends now or something. >Radio silence on discord not even picking up my calls Bros if you genuinely like someone never have casual sex that s--- ruins everything. Why the f--- is life so cruel
: Anonymous 08/21/21(Sat)20:57:41 No.65080341 >be me >Go on discord looking for girls near me >find a girl who was browsing /soc/ and lives extremely close apparently >We meetup with another person from the discord server 728 КВ PNG feelsgoodman.jpg >The next day I go to her house and have sex >The sex is good but I don't nut >We hangout again cuddle and watch anime and have sex again >Start falling for her >"Oh anon l'll have sex with anyone when I'm horny lol" >She says she's pity f----- other anons before >Tfw pity f----- >We genuinely have similar interests and even the same birthday funny enough and she said I was cool >says she'd never be in a relationship with me >Doesn't want to break my heart even though she already kinda has so she wants to just be friends now or something. >Radio silence on discord not even picking up my calls Bros if you genuinely like someone never have casual sex that s--- ruins everything. Why the f--- is life so cruel

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Branching paths | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous i f----- up story time 08/21/21(Sat)20:52:17 No.65080276 The 20 Year Old DOOMER >be in high school and like 14 >sit with people who would be considered thugs (jocky/fuckboi/gansta type) >Ask me why i switched from thw chractertes d het. poor memory rtne g "mleecholy n ning i lp 20 ntaf tgtetter sdrt eng dtoy t e ese e kay drama to bio class 73 KB JPG >claim "im trying to go to college for stem" >14 year old me believed that they would go nowhere in life and that i will live well off after hs >they joke "why dont you just work at mcdonalds, they pay good cash" >fast forward a few years >they are all in uni having fun except for one guy who is doing a trade and moving out of his parents house at 19 >i'm stuck in my parents house doing zoom uni and drowning my face in math. i feel like i f----- myself over
: Anonymous i f----- up story time 08/21/21(Sat)20:52:17 No.65080276 The 20 Year Old DOOMER >be in high school and like 14 >sit with people who would be considered thugs (jocky/fuckboi/gansta type) >Ask me why i switched from thw chractertes d het. poor memory rtne g "mleecholy n ning i lp 20 ntaf tgtetter sdrt eng dtoy t e ese e kay drama to bio class 73 KB JPG >claim "im trying to go to college for stem" >14 year old me believed that they would go nowhere in life and that i will live well off after hs >they joke "why dont you just work at mcdonalds, they pay good cash" >fast forward a few years >they are all in uni having fun except for one guy who is doing a trade and moving out of his parents house at 19 >i'm stuck in my parents house doing zoom uni and drowning my face in math. i feel like i f----- myself over

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Anon lives with his dad | /r/Greentext

>be me >age 11 >live in a s----- apartment with my dad, my mom and him got a divorce, he got custody because of my moms drinking problem. (I know, usually it's the other way around, right?) >head to the pond, notice a duck sleeping 210 KB JPG >autism kicks in, duck must be dying >gently bring the sleeping duck to my apartment >bring the duck in the bathroom, the bathroom is tiny, just a tub, a toilet, and a sink, barely any space between them >duck lives near water, therefore can breath underwater >run water over the ducks head >duck wakes up >im excited, look at the duck >it s---- in the tub >duck promptly goes batshit crazy, trying to get out >I locked the door >f--- f--- f--- >desperately try to get the door unlocked >duck starts biting at me >trip and fall down, grab the duck and hold it over my head to stop it from attacking me >it f------ pisses on me, some of it gets in my mouth >throw up all over myself and the duck >dad comes over and knocks on the door >ANON WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING IN THERE >duck flies back into the tub, flings it's s--- all over the place >piss, s---, and my own throw up flying all over the f------ place >while the duck is in the tub, manage to get the door unlocked and I open it >dad looks at me in horror, I'm covered in piss, throw up, and duck s--- >duck, also covered in piss, s---, and my throw up flies out and rushes out of the apartment >chaos ensues in the apartment >it got so bad they just f------ shot the duck dont bring wild animals into an enclosed room. you will regret it.
>be me >age 11 >live in a s----- apartment with my dad, my mom and him got a divorce, he got custody because of my moms drinking problem. (I know, usually it's the other way around, right?) >head to the pond, notice a duck sleeping 210 KB JPG >autism kicks in, duck must be dying >gently bring the sleeping duck to my apartment >bring the duck in the bathroom, the bathroom is tiny, just a tub, a toilet, and a sink, barely any space between them >duck lives near water, therefore can breath underwater >run water over the ducks head >duck wakes up >im excited, look at the duck >it s---- in the tub >duck promptly goes batshit crazy, trying to get out >I locked the door >f--- f--- f--- >desperately try to get the door unlocked >duck starts biting at me >trip and fall down, grab the duck and hold it over my head to stop it from attacking me >it f------ pisses on me, some of it gets in my mouth >throw up all over myself and the duck >dad comes over and knocks on the door >ANON WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING IN THERE >duck flies back into the tub, flings it's s--- all over the place >piss, s---, and my own throw up flying all over the f------ place >while the duck is in the tub, manage to get the door unlocked and I open it >dad looks at me in horror, I'm covered in piss, throw up, and duck s--- >duck, also covered in piss, s---, and my throw up flies out and rushes out of the apartment >chaos ensues in the apartment >it got so bad they just f------ shot the duck dont bring wild animals into an enclosed room. you will regret it.

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Anon is relatable | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/22/21(Sun)07:54:38 No.861561160 >I mistook sympathy for affection >again >end me 283 KB PNG 2 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 08/22/21(Sun)07:54:38 No.861561160 >I mistook sympathy for affection >again >end me 283 KB PNG 2 Replies View Thread

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anon watches a nature show | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/19/21(Thu)11:38:47 No.3900501 >Nature documentary >Last 15ish minutes >"These animals are great, but global war- >Turn it off 75 KB JPG
: Anonymous 08/19/21(Thu)11:38:47 No.3900501 >Nature documentary >Last 15ish minutes >"These animals are great, but global war- >Turn it off 75 KB JPG

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How can anon profit from this? | /r/Greentext

>be me >dog of 15 years just died 2 weeks ago >spend every day in bed >feel lump on my right nipple >go to doc to check it out >doc does a bunch of test, turns out i have breast cancer >ask doc "i thought only women can get that?" >turns out a small percentage of breast cancer cases are men >mfw can't afford chemo >mfw maybe 6 months left >mfw dog still dead how do i profit off this, bros?
>be me >dog of 15 years just died 2 weeks ago >spend every day in bed >feel lump on my right nipple >go to doc to check it out >doc does a bunch of test, turns out i have breast cancer >ask doc "i thought only women can get that?" >turns out a small percentage of breast cancer cases are men >mfw can't afford chemo >mfw maybe 6 months left >mfw dog still dead how do i profit off this, bros?

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Anon is a good guy. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/05/21(Thu)18:46:21 No.64851589 >be me >in highschool >decide to give the quiet kid a chance, he seems alright >my friend andi approach him "hey dude yeah wassup u alright" >he has like no one to talk to he gives in 484 KB PNG >6 months go by, we are talking like usual >since i like to talk to lots of different people, people always come to talk to me >also, since quiet kid has no one he just kinda sticks by me most times >overtime, we talk less; other people see that he is likeable and hang out with him at school >eventually, we stop talking >no problem, my main intention was for him to have friends anyway fast forward months later >schools ended >check his instagram story >its him and his friends from our old highschool hanging out >see it quite frequently now >proud of him mission passed, glad that he actually has friends now
: Anonymous 08/05/21(Thu)18:46:21 No.64851589 >be me >in highschool >decide to give the quiet kid a chance, he seems alright >my friend andi approach him "hey dude yeah wassup u alright" >he has like no one to talk to he gives in 484 KB PNG >6 months go by, we are talking like usual >since i like to talk to lots of different people, people always come to talk to me >also, since quiet kid has no one he just kinda sticks by me most times >overtime, we talk less; other people see that he is likeable and hang out with him at school >eventually, we stop talking >no problem, my main intention was for him to have friends anyway fast forward months later >schools ended >check his instagram story >its him and his friends from our old highschool hanging out >see it quite frequently now >proud of him mission passed, glad that he actually has friends now

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anon has a coworker | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/21/21(Sat)12:07:44 No.65074316 >coworker says i never smile or talk >tell her i dont get happy when i see her so i dont smile >tell her she can talk to other рeople >she says that sounds like something a serial killer would say 36 КВ ЈPG >tell her that they are my own words and to let me work >inform my boss and treat her coldly for 5 months >asks if she remembers calling me a serial killer >she laughs and says she doesnt remember >says i do seem like one though >she gets nervous when she realizes the situation she put herself into >later she tries to apologize >did not accept her apology do think i crossed a line here? you
: Anonymous 08/21/21(Sat)12:07:44 No.65074316 >coworker says i never smile or talk >tell her i dont get happy when i see her so i dont smile >tell her she can talk to other рeople >she says that sounds like something a serial killer would say 36 КВ ЈPG >tell her that they are my own words and to let me work >inform my boss and treat her coldly for 5 months >asks if she remembers calling me a serial killer >she laughs and says she doesnt remember >says i do seem like one though >she gets nervous when she realizes the situation she put herself into >later she tries to apologize >did not accept her apology do think i crossed a line here? you

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Anon watches The Little Mermaid | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/10/21(Tue)09:06:09 No.125014102 >meets a disabled 14 year on the beach, completely naked >attempts to marry her without once trying to find our where her parents are 73 KB JPG : Anonymous 08/10/21(Tue)09:07:48 No.125014133 >>125014102 (OP)# Finders keepers.
: Anonymous 08/10/21(Tue)09:06:09 No.125014102 >meets a disabled 14 year on the beach, completely naked >attempts to marry her without once trying to find our where her parents are 73 KB JPG : Anonymous 08/10/21(Tue)09:07:48 No.125014133 >>125014102 (OP)# Finders keepers.

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God bless lil cats | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/10/21(Thu)04:44:21 No.64081337 >cat barks at me for 5 minutes >not sure why >eventually decide to make a pillow fort for cat >cat stops meowing and goes to sleep >check on cat and see she is rolled over 74 KB PNG asleep :)
: Anonymous 06/10/21(Thu)04:44:21 No.64081337 >cat barks at me for 5 minutes >not sure why >eventually decide to make a pillow fort for cat >cat stops meowing and goes to sleep >check on cat and see she is rolled over 74 KB PNG asleep :)

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Anon likes orange | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/25/21(Mon)21:29:29 No.62035306 Is there any color more based than orange? >oranges >Gods glorious sunlight >my piss 14 KB JPG >basketballs >Fresh autumn leaves >pumpkins
: Anonymous 01/25/21(Mon)21:29:29 No.62035306 Is there any color more based than orange? >oranges >Gods glorious sunlight >my piss 14 KB JPG >basketballs >Fresh autumn leaves >pumpkins

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Anons has a dog | /r/Greentext


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Goodbye, Columbus | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous BLOG 08/20/21(Fri)22:11:08 No.65069298 >HS dropout spent 4 years in the military jerking off on artillery (13B gang) >Now Im 27 work in a dairy spray drying facility (I operate some machine that processes dairy tanker trucks) >27/hour, 5-10 hours OT/ week >I know its not a lot compared to white 941 KB JPG collar work but I feel pretty comfortable >Start dating a girl with a masters degree in something computer related >no Idea what she does, but its something with software at some cool startup >always feel intimidated by the class difference between us >pick her up at her apartment and its a really expensive complex in Burlington VT(way overpriced metro area) >feeling really insecure about looking dumb and poor and she actually seems like a well educated, smart successful chick >try to avoid talking about "where did you go to school" or money type stuff >on our 4th date she mentions she's making payments on her car>her rent is literally 1800/month>she cant even afford to fix her car>shes making payments on her f------ car >mfw my car is paid off, paid in cash day 1 and I make enough to cover my monthly rent and most of my monthly expenses in a f------ week I never lol'd so hard in my life I thought I was poor but turns out she's the poor retard
: Anonymous BLOG 08/20/21(Fri)22:11:08 No.65069298 >HS dropout spent 4 years in the military jerking off on artillery (13B gang) >Now Im 27 work in a dairy spray drying facility (I operate some machine that processes dairy tanker trucks) >27/hour, 5-10 hours OT/ week >I know its not a lot compared to white 941 KB JPG collar work but I feel pretty comfortable >Start dating a girl with a masters degree in something computer related >no Idea what she does, but its something with software at some cool startup >always feel intimidated by the class difference between us >pick her up at her apartment and its a really expensive complex in Burlington VT(way overpriced metro area) >feeling really insecure about looking dumb and poor and she actually seems like a well educated, smart successful chick >try to avoid talking about "where did you go to school" or money type stuff >on our 4th date she mentions she's making payments on her car>her rent is literally 1800/month>she cant even afford to fix her car>shes making payments on her f------ car >mfw my car is paid off, paid in cash day 1 and I make enough to cover my monthly rent and most of my monthly expenses in a f------ week I never lol'd so hard in my life I thought I was poor but turns out she's the poor retard

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Anon is a hacker | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/12/19(Thu)06:37:54 No.809373009 How I almost hacked borderlands 3 preload AMI DISABLED? > be me > have bl3 pre loaded on console > day before launch, cant sleep ..can't wait 346 KB JPG Geniusidea.exe > spring out of bed > grab controller > manually roll forward date on console to 9/13 BI3.exe > still won't start Almost famous
: Anonymous 09/12/19(Thu)06:37:54 No.809373009 How I almost hacked borderlands 3 preload AMI DISABLED? > be me > have bl3 pre loaded on console > day before launch, cant sleep ..can't wait 346 KB JPG Geniusidea.exe > spring out of bed > grab controller > manually roll forward date on console to 9/13 BI3.exe > still won't start Almost famous

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Anon Overshares | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/21/21(Sat)00:24:21 No.65070149 >tell girl I've done a lot of different drugs throughout my life >she seems nervous I f----- up didn't 1? She started it, she asked if l've ever smoked pot. 9 KB JPG
: Anonymous 08/21/21(Sat)00:24:21 No.65070149 >tell girl I've done a lot of different drugs throughout my life >she seems nervous I f----- up didn't 1? She started it, she asked if l've ever smoked pot. 9 KB JPG

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Anon trolls two subreddits discords update in comments | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/21/21(Sat)17:35:49 No.861503898 >bored today going through /r/greentext >join their discord >it's what you'd expect of school kids home for summer >reddit mod SentinelBacon 32 KB JPG preparing to raid /r/dreamsmp discord to call them n------ or something >planhatching.exe >let a dreamsmp mod know of the plan he s---- the bed and locks down the server >kek >proceed to rub it in the /r/greentext discords members faces >SentinelBacons p----- calls me a n----- f----- >the whole server throws abuse at me and threatens to doxx me >banned >friend informs me they moved to troll minecraft servers >tell the dream admin they are still planning the raid as soon as its unlocked "We just won't unlock it then" >topkek >tell him l'll keep him updated mfw I control /r/dreamsmp discord mfw this greentext is posted on /r/greentext mfw both reddit mods see this mfw the only winner is me
: Anonymous 08/21/21(Sat)17:35:49 No.861503898 >bored today going through /r/greentext >join their discord >it's what you'd expect of school kids home for summer >reddit mod SentinelBacon 32 KB JPG preparing to raid /r/dreamsmp discord to call them n------ or something >planhatching.exe >let a dreamsmp mod know of the plan he s---- the bed and locks down the server >kek >proceed to rub it in the /r/greentext discords members faces >SentinelBacons p----- calls me a n----- f----- >the whole server throws abuse at me and threatens to doxx me >banned >friend informs me they moved to troll minecraft servers >tell the dream admin they are still planning the raid as soon as its unlocked "We just won't unlock it then" >topkek >tell him l'll keep him updated mfw I control /r/dreamsmp discord mfw this greentext is posted on /r/greentext mfw both reddit mods see this mfw the only winner is me

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4chan’s Reputation Precedes It | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/20/21(Fri)23:39:29 No.65069886 >go to make post >remember what this place is >nvm 1.9 MB GIF
: Anonymous 08/20/21(Fri)23:39:29 No.65069886 >go to make post >remember what this place is >nvm 1.9 MB GIF

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Anon takes a piss | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/21/21(Sat)11:20:04 No.861487184 >taking a piss >see loose pube on my knob >grab it off mid stream >piss all over my hands and floor >what did I think would happen? 19 KB JPG
: Anonymous 08/21/21(Sat)11:20:04 No.861487184 >taking a piss >see loose pube on my knob >grab it off mid stream >piss all over my hands and floor >what did I think would happen? 19 KB JPG

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based bri' isch officer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: IEQUUIUL ) 05/20/17(Sat)14:49:51 No.126302746 Typical everyday average British morning: >wake up >bobby knocks on door >"oi! open up you cheeky bastard and show me your 47 KB JPG sleeping licence!" >fumble around and finally find my licence >"s-sorry good sir. It's right here... God save the Queen." >bobby peers in and catches a glimpse of me telly >"halt! where's your TV licence you c---?!" >"draw TV licence from me wallet" >bobby gives a look like the bloody Queen's dodger >"oi mate! where's your permit for this licence?" >show him my licence permit >"this licence permit is expired. I'm taking you in!" >bobby draws his toy gun >stab him with my unregistered butterknife
: Anonymous (ID: IEQUUIUL ) 05/20/17(Sat)14:49:51 No.126302746 Typical everyday average British morning: >wake up >bobby knocks on door >"oi! open up you cheeky bastard and show me your 47 KB JPG sleeping licence!" >fumble around and finally find my licence >"s-sorry good sir. It's right here... God save the Queen." >bobby peers in and catches a glimpse of me telly >"halt! where's your TV licence you c---?!" >"draw TV licence from me wallet" >bobby gives a look like the bloody Queen's dodger >"oi mate! where's your permit for this licence?" >show him my licence permit >"this licence permit is expired. I'm taking you in!" >bobby draws his toy gun >stab him with my unregistered butterknife

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