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Anon works as a waiter | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/19/14(Wed)19:02 UTC-4 No.25665884 Replies: >>25665919 >>25665920 >>25665925 >>25665942 >>25665983 >>25665986 File: 1395270125225.jpg-(44 KB, 960x640, 1370027577314.jpg) I WISH >>25665769 Okay >work as a waiter >eat a massive pot roast sandwich and a protein shake before work >20 minutes in my stomach sounds like a dryer with tennis shoes thrown in it TO DIE >m-m-manager I have to go home >NO WAY ANON DINNER RUSH IS HERE >o-okay >taking the orders on a table of 50 black people >asking this lady what she wants for her dressing when I very casually begin spraying diarrhea down my leg >l freeze up hard and just continue s------- >seriously it was like a quart of s--- that came out >try to say something but can only manage a whining sound (eeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhh) >it finally stops >s--- is pooling at my feet >suddenly YO DIS N---- POOPED HIS PANTS >give a little laugh to lighten to mood >it doesn't >take off into the kitchen >there is a trail of s--- behind me >run out a backdoor >drive home >phone has rang about 10000 times >never going to pick it up
Anonymous 03/19/14(Wed)19:02 UTC-4 No.25665884 Replies: >>25665919 >>25665920 >>25665925 >>25665942 >>25665983 >>25665986 File: 1395270125225.jpg-(44 KB, 960x640, 1370027577314.jpg) I WISH >>25665769 Okay >work as a waiter >eat a massive pot roast sandwich and a protein shake before work >20 minutes in my stomach sounds like a dryer with tennis shoes thrown in it TO DIE >m-m-manager I have to go home >NO WAY ANON DINNER RUSH IS HERE >o-okay >taking the orders on a table of 50 black people >asking this lady what she wants for her dressing when I very casually begin spraying diarrhea down my leg >l freeze up hard and just continue s------- >seriously it was like a quart of s--- that came out >try to say something but can only manage a whining sound (eeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhh) >it finally stops >s--- is pooling at my feet >suddenly YO DIS N---- POOPED HIS PANTS >give a little laugh to lighten to mood >it doesn't >take off into the kitchen >there is a trail of s--- behind me >run out a backdoor >drive home >phone has rang about 10000 times >never going to pick it up

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Anon learns about piracy | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 08/17/21(Tue)16:50:04 No.65014438 [Reply) >be me Fallsul 3 >decide to illegally download fallout 3 >google "fallout 3 download 2021 no virus" >click 3rd result >website seems kinda off, very minimal and it had no pop up ads or anything >say f--- it, whats the worst that could happen >click download >as soon as i clicked download, my monitor started flickering >pc fans turn red and start whirring like a jet engine from f------ hell >printer starts rapidly printing out satanic drawings >monitor is now violently flashing black and white at godspeed >hear a window behind me crash >pass out from the shear fear and anxiety >wake up in an icebath in an abandoned warehouse somewhere in south africa, missing my kidneys and limbs Piracy is no joke guys
O Anonymous 08/17/21(Tue)16:50:04 No.65014438 [Reply) >be me Fallsul 3 >decide to illegally download fallout 3 >google "fallout 3 download 2021 no virus" >click 3rd result >website seems kinda off, very minimal and it had no pop up ads or anything >say f--- it, whats the worst that could happen >click download >as soon as i clicked download, my monitor started flickering >pc fans turn red and start whirring like a jet engine from f------ hell >printer starts rapidly printing out satanic drawings >monitor is now violently flashing black and white at godspeed >hear a window behind me crash >pass out from the shear fear and anxiety >wake up in an icebath in an abandoned warehouse somewhere in south africa, missing my kidneys and limbs Piracy is no joke guys

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Frenchanon contemplates the future of transgendered in Afghanistan. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: J1317TCK ) 08/17/21(Tue)05:56:26 No.334597514 >>334597908 >>334598669 >>334608709 >>334611433 >>334615055 >>334634646 >>334636257 >>334640164 File: 1620025588224.png (68 KB, 512x512) >>334594773 (OP) >Be me >Born Male in America >Enlist in the US Army >Deploy in Afghanistan and Irak >Get traumatized by war on Terror >Developp PTSD >My psy council me to transition into women >Now l'm a women >Engage again but as a Contractor >Trap in Afghanistan when the Talichads takes control >Talichads find me and force me to marry one of them >Talichad bring me to his home with his 3 new wifes. >Talichad want to f--- me, get a boner by the idea to be f----- by an Alpha male >Talichad find out i'm not a real women >Now I'm on the roof of the tallest tower of Kaboul and I remember this quote I read on 4chan >"You will never be a women"
Anonymous (ID: J1317TCK ) 08/17/21(Tue)05:56:26 No.334597514 >>334597908 >>334598669 >>334608709 >>334611433 >>334615055 >>334634646 >>334636257 >>334640164 File: 1620025588224.png (68 KB, 512x512) >>334594773 (OP) >Be me >Born Male in America >Enlist in the US Army >Deploy in Afghanistan and Irak >Get traumatized by war on Terror >Developp PTSD >My psy council me to transition into women >Now l'm a women >Engage again but as a Contractor >Trap in Afghanistan when the Talichads takes control >Talichads find me and force me to marry one of them >Talichad bring me to his home with his 3 new wifes. >Talichad want to f--- me, get a boner by the idea to be f----- by an Alpha male >Talichad find out i'm not a real women >Now I'm on the roof of the tallest tower of Kaboul and I remember this quote I read on 4chan >"You will never be a women"

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Anon is a shithead | /r/Greentext

2:32 A boards.4chan.org – Private Board /b/ - Random Settings Mobile Home >got my brother's spare key because we live a walking distance away >we buy the same kind of bread because that's the same one we had at home 85 KB JPG >he's a man of schedule, goes shopping the same day every week, he goes on the same walk at the same time of day every day >always hated how irregular my habits are >decide to be a s------- for no reason >get a bag of bread on the same day he's gone shopping >toast the entire thing and put it back in the bag >wait until it's time for brother's walk >take my bag of toast and sneak in with my keys >know where he keeps his bread, switch the bag of bread with the bag of toast >toast two slices of bread to make the whole house smell like toast >escape once they're done >make sure I left no mark in the house, touch nothing >make it to home, start gaming >25 minutes later I get a text "I don't know how or why you've done this but I will f------ end you." View Thread
2:32 A boards.4chan.org – Private Board /b/ - Random Settings Mobile Home >got my brother's spare key because we live a walking distance away >we buy the same kind of bread because that's the same one we had at home 85 KB JPG >he's a man of schedule, goes shopping the same day every week, he goes on the same walk at the same time of day every day >always hated how irregular my habits are >decide to be a s------- for no reason >get a bag of bread on the same day he's gone shopping >toast the entire thing and put it back in the bag >wait until it's time for brother's walk >take my bag of toast and sneak in with my keys >know where he keeps his bread, switch the bag of bread with the bag of toast >toast two slices of bread to make the whole house smell like toast >escape once they're done >make sure I left no mark in the house, touch nothing >make it to home, start gaming >25 minutes later I get a text "I don't know how or why you've done this but I will f------ end you." View Thread

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The government turned anon gay | /r/Greentext

File: EA050439-584B-4A06-BEAD-0(.--).jpg (74 KB, 712x579) Being watched on the toilet Anonymous 08/16/21(Mon)11:17:08 No.65003492 [Reply] >Be me >Serve in military for 4 years >have to go to the bathroom in front of EVERYBODY >At the time think its gross and get stagefright >Now have a fetish for being watched on the toilet by other men even though Im not gay Why does the brain work like this >> Anonymous 08/16/21(Mon)11:31:16 No.65003604 ► >65003678 The government turned you gay. It's not uncommon.
File: EA050439-584B-4A06-BEAD-0(.--).jpg (74 KB, 712x579) Being watched on the toilet Anonymous 08/16/21(Mon)11:17:08 No.65003492 [Reply] >Be me >Serve in military for 4 years >have to go to the bathroom in front of EVERYBODY >At the time think its gross and get stagefright >Now have a fetish for being watched on the toilet by other men even though Im not gay Why does the brain work like this >> Anonymous 08/16/21(Mon)11:31:16 No.65003604 ► >65003678 The government turned you gay. It's not uncommon.

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Anon Skipped Sex Ed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous The d--- herp 08/15/21(Sun)16:19:37 No.63053590 >get fit (cheers bros) >Start slamming p---- endlessly >Now got herpes What do bros? 614 KB PNG
: Anonymous The d--- herp 08/15/21(Sun)16:19:37 No.63053590 >get fit (cheers bros) >Start slamming p---- endlessly >Now got herpes What do bros? 614 KB PNG

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Anon comments on recent events | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: CDB6xOaw ) 08/16/21(Mon)23:06:57 No.334643290 >>334625082 # >view pictures of aghanistan landscape >it's all arid, mountainous desert that looks inhospitable to life >38 million f------ people jesus christ muslims are rodents C
Anonymous (ID: CDB6xOaw ) 08/16/21(Mon)23:06:57 No.334643290 >>334625082 # >view pictures of aghanistan landscape >it's all arid, mountainous desert that looks inhospitable to life >38 million f------ people jesus christ muslims are rodents C

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Check no mate | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/16/21(Mon)08:31:22 No.63059642 >Girl makes fun of me >Say 'have sex' >She say 'i will' 25 KB JPG
: Anonymous 08/16/21(Mon)08:31:22 No.63059642 >Girl makes fun of me >Say 'have sex' >She say 'i will' 25 KB JPG

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Anon trolls people | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/16/21(Mon)23:31:00 No.861202609 >be me >on Reddit cause I'm a f----- >discover a subreddit called “Are TheCisOk" >basically every post is some t----- crying over a meme >getting offended over 4chan posts 10 KB JPG with "f-----" in it We've successfully trolled them, eat s--- f---.
: Anonymous 08/16/21(Mon)23:31:00 No.861202609 >be me >on Reddit cause I'm a f----- >discover a subreddit called “Are TheCisOk" >basically every post is some t----- crying over a meme >getting offended over 4chan posts 10 KB JPG with "f-----" in it We've successfully trolled them, eat s--- f---.

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Like a true New Yorker | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/08/16(Sun)23:04:54 No.683368161 >be me >20 >walking around Brooklyn >new to the city >feel and opportunity come up >yell at the top of my lungs 6 KB JPG >BADDA BING > some fat guy in a greasy tank top yells from his apartment window >BADDA BOOM >mfw
Anonymous 05/08/16(Sun)23:04:54 No.683368161 >be me >20 >walking around Brooklyn >new to the city >feel and opportunity come up >yell at the top of my lungs 6 KB JPG >BADDA BING > some fat guy in a greasy tank top yells from his apartment window >BADDA BOOM >mfw

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Anon is an absolute dumbass | /r/Greentext

File: 1595075047375.png (41 KB, 400x416) Anonymous 08/16/21(Mon)01:57:17 No.64999554 >rejected a 8/10 fit/ cheerleader because she was a virgin >i was also a virgin but trying to look cool JUST BE YOURFUCKINGSELF ANON IT'S NOT A CLICHE JUST BE GENUINE AND STOP SEEKING APPROVAL YOU WILL MISS OUT ON MUCH MORE THAN YOU REALIZE
File: 1595075047375.png (41 KB, 400x416) Anonymous 08/16/21(Mon)01:57:17 No.64999554 >rejected a 8/10 fit/ cheerleader because she was a virgin >i was also a virgin but trying to look cool JUST BE YOURFUCKINGSELF ANON IT'S NOT A CLICHE JUST BE GENUINE AND STOP SEEKING APPROVAL YOU WILL MISS OUT ON MUCH MORE THAN YOU REALIZE

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Anon was in Afghanistan | /r/Greentext

File: 031sMh_wjR-L.jpg (51 KB, 594x394) Anonymous 08/16/21(Mon)00:51:08 No.861142020 >>861142074 >>86114238 >861144572 >>861144654 >>861145618 >>861146271 >>861146338 >>861146426 >>861146460 >be me >Afghanistan vet >years spent with sand n------ >years spent teaching and building their armed forces >trillions spent >years of my life spent >countless dead in warfare >watch as the fighting force you helped to build crumbles in days of you leaving >mfw
File: 031sMh_wjR-L.jpg (51 KB, 594x394) Anonymous 08/16/21(Mon)00:51:08 No.861142020 >>861142074 >>86114238 >861144572 >>861144654 >>861145618 >>861146271 >>861146338 >>861146426 >>861146460 >be me >Afghanistan vet >years spent with sand n------ >years spent teaching and building their armed forces >trillions spent >years of my life spent >countless dead in warfare >watch as the fighting force you helped to build crumbles in days of you leaving >mfw

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Anon wants to join the 27 club. | /r/Greentext

| Anonymous 08/16/21(Mon)19:11:31 No.65009820 >parents say that I've overstayed my welcome since I'm 27 and they said that most people get kicked НАНАНА IVE HAD ENOUGH! out at 18 >Credit is trashed, cannot even go into debt to get started 104 KB JPG >Have no desires left >Every night I pray for death >My options are be homeless and work myself to the bone or work myself to the bone for a cot in a room for $1ka month >Everyone hates me for no reason, cannot find friends >Plan is to save up for a gun to blow my brains out once I get kicked out This is fun, this is normal 11 Replies / 2 Images View Thread
| Anonymous 08/16/21(Mon)19:11:31 No.65009820 >parents say that I've overstayed my welcome since I'm 27 and they said that most people get kicked НАНАНА IVE HAD ENOUGH! out at 18 >Credit is trashed, cannot even go into debt to get started 104 KB JPG >Have no desires left >Every night I pray for death >My options are be homeless and work myself to the bone or work myself to the bone for a cot in a room for $1ka month >Everyone hates me for no reason, cannot find friends >Plan is to save up for a gun to blow my brains out once I get kicked out This is fun, this is normal 11 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Anon tries brown town | /r/Greentext

File: 1385097571576.jpg-(213 KB, 625x882, sadlebron.jpg) O Anonymous 11/22/13(Fri)00:19:31 UTC-5 No.517378963 >be 17yo me >alone with gf at her house, her parents out >commence nudity on living room couch >asks if I want to try something new >next exit: brown town >put it in her buttz >meh, everything I hoped for and less >decide to keep going to get the xp >hear car door slam in driveway >ishouldprobablyheadout.zip >pull out too fast >explosive torrent of diarrhea erupts forth upon withdrawal >stomach, d---, and thighs all covered in doodie >all over couch and rug too >gf to scared to be embarassed >tells me she will blame the poopoo mess on her dog >hurries me out back door as her parents enter >decide to hide for a few minutes and see how situation plays out >after a short while her dad brings dog out into back yard >pulls handgun out of jacket >shoots dog in head >mfw jesus dog died for our sins
File: 1385097571576.jpg-(213 KB, 625x882, sadlebron.jpg) O Anonymous 11/22/13(Fri)00:19:31 UTC-5 No.517378963 >be 17yo me >alone with gf at her house, her parents out >commence nudity on living room couch >asks if I want to try something new >next exit: brown town >put it in her buttz >meh, everything I hoped for and less >decide to keep going to get the xp >hear car door slam in driveway >ishouldprobablyheadout.zip >pull out too fast >explosive torrent of diarrhea erupts forth upon withdrawal >stomach, d---, and thighs all covered in doodie >all over couch and rug too >gf to scared to be embarassed >tells me she will blame the poopoo mess on her dog >hurries me out back door as her parents enter >decide to hide for a few minutes and see how situation plays out >after a short while her dad brings dog out into back yard >pulls handgun out of jacket >shoots dog in head >mfw jesus dog died for our sins

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Anon Gets Shanghaied | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/16/21(Mon)09:31:00 No.65004196 >wake up THE >you're in a lowe's >they're fortifying the area with sandbags and mounted turrets HOME >blue-coloured BGM-71 TOW anti-tank launcher is being placed by two employees >you realize what's about to happen, but 6 KB PNG it's too late >mortar fire engulfs the area around the lowe's, as you run to aisle 3 to hide yourself >the sound of helicopters slowly gets louder, as you begin to hear the home depot theme >the front of the store is annihilated from the mortar fire >there's nothing but a cloud of smoke in front of the store >the lowe's employees let loose on the M3M turrets as the home depot loyalists charge into the store, improvised bayonets made from wooden planks fixed to their rifles >the home depot loyalists' helicopters are quickly taken down by the lowe's gunners >splattered red paste soaks the front of the home improvement store turned battlefield >the fighting stops as both sides focus their attention to the noises of incoming tanks >your ears ring, as a deafening noise assails the store >"SAVE BIG MONEY AT MENARDS," the speakers begin to exclaim, as the tanks begin to fire upon the lowe's >the home depot loyalists join forces with the lowe's workers, as they prepare to hold off the forces of menards
: Anonymous 08/16/21(Mon)09:31:00 No.65004196 >wake up THE >you're in a lowe's >they're fortifying the area with sandbags and mounted turrets HOME >blue-coloured BGM-71 TOW anti-tank launcher is being placed by two employees >you realize what's about to happen, but 6 KB PNG it's too late >mortar fire engulfs the area around the lowe's, as you run to aisle 3 to hide yourself >the sound of helicopters slowly gets louder, as you begin to hear the home depot theme >the front of the store is annihilated from the mortar fire >there's nothing but a cloud of smoke in front of the store >the lowe's employees let loose on the M3M turrets as the home depot loyalists charge into the store, improvised bayonets made from wooden planks fixed to their rifles >the home depot loyalists' helicopters are quickly taken down by the lowe's gunners >splattered red paste soaks the front of the home improvement store turned battlefield >the fighting stops as both sides focus their attention to the noises of incoming tanks >your ears ring, as a deafening noise assails the store >"SAVE BIG MONEY AT MENARDS," the speakers begin to exclaim, as the tanks begin to fire upon the lowe's >the home depot loyalists join forces with the lowe's workers, as they prepare to hold off the forces of menards

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Anon found the glitch | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/17/21(Tue)01:32:03 No.65009259 >you need to have sex to stop being an incel >women don't have sex with incels the game is rigged from the start 12 KB PNG
: Anonymous 08/17/21(Tue)01:32:03 No.65009259 >you need to have sex to stop being an incel >women don't have sex with incels the game is rigged from the start 12 KB PNG

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Anon is a secret agent | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/03/20(Thu)13:39:24 No.77546528 File: gjC9Byr7.jpg (66 KB, 948x661) >>77548958 >>77550391 FB1 >>77544429 (OP) >give me all you have on this man >sir the subject appears to not have any form of social media to his name >no job record >not married >he is practically a ghost >nobody can spend decades as a recluse he must be a foreign operative >sir the only thing he does is posting "based & redpilled" on a mongolian fishing forum >could this be a secret message?
Anonymous 09/03/20(Thu)13:39:24 No.77546528 File: gjC9Byr7.jpg (66 KB, 948x661) >>77548958 >>77550391 FB1 >>77544429 (OP) >give me all you have on this man >sir the subject appears to not have any form of social media to his name >no job record >not married >he is practically a ghost >nobody can spend decades as a recluse he must be a foreign operative >sir the only thing he does is posting "based & redpilled" on a mongolian fishing forum >could this be a secret message?

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Anon’s shit phenomenon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/16/21(Mon)09:13:06 No.65002965 >Need to s--- real bad, like "insides are audibly rumbling" bad >Go to sit on the toilet >Suddenly don't feel the need to s--- anymore >Sit there and push for a few minutes just in case 19 KB JPG >Guess I don't really need to s--- >Get up to wash my friends >Suddenly need to s--- again but disappears as quickly again MAKE UP YOUR MIND, GOD DAMN IT Anyone else experience this s--- phenomenon? I haven't s--- yet. : Anonymous 08/16/21(Mon)09:15:47 No.65002986 >>65002965 (OP) # Hands, I meant hands.
: Anonymous 08/16/21(Mon)09:13:06 No.65002965 >Need to s--- real bad, like "insides are audibly rumbling" bad >Go to sit on the toilet >Suddenly don't feel the need to s--- anymore >Sit there and push for a few minutes just in case 19 KB JPG >Guess I don't really need to s--- >Get up to wash my friends >Suddenly need to s--- again but disappears as quickly again MAKE UP YOUR MIND, GOD DAMN IT Anyone else experience this s--- phenomenon? I haven't s--- yet. : Anonymous 08/16/21(Mon)09:15:47 No.65002986 >>65002965 (OP) # Hands, I meant hands.

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Americhad enters Afghanistan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/16/21(Mon)16:52:53 No.861183969 >barges into Afghanistan in 2001 >destabilizes entire country >control 60% of it >leaves >entire country falls into chaos >refuses to elaborate, is never heard from again 62 KB JPG
: Anonymous 08/16/21(Mon)16:52:53 No.861183969 >barges into Afghanistan in 2001 >destabilizes entire country >control 60% of it >leaves >entire country falls into chaos >refuses to elaborate, is never heard from again 62 KB JPG

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Anon buys some movies | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 6 hours ago 434656828 >1 in the morning >GF at the time wanted to get food and rent a movie to fool around to before bed >Stop by a redbox at a walgreens near her place >Black guy dressed like f------ Peter Pan or something pulls up to us in his car by the redbox >Figure, "oh s--- here we go, going to have to fight some nog" >"Nah y'all don't need to be paying for that now, f--- a redbox my dude" >Hands us a Wal-Mart bag filled with about 40 burnt disks with recent movie titles on them >Backseat is full of these bags >Go to shake his hand and say "Jesus man, thanks. What's your name?" >"Who me? Y'all can just call me... N---- ROBIN HOOD!" >Dude peels out of the parking lot and speeds off into the night >GF and I confused as f--- >Go home, put in the disks >About half of the movies are HD rips of what the disks says they are, other half are actually just filled to the brim with new brazzers scenes Unironically the most based dude l've ever met 6 REPLIES
Anonymous 6 hours ago 434656828 >1 in the morning >GF at the time wanted to get food and rent a movie to fool around to before bed >Stop by a redbox at a walgreens near her place >Black guy dressed like f------ Peter Pan or something pulls up to us in his car by the redbox >Figure, "oh s--- here we go, going to have to fight some nog" >"Nah y'all don't need to be paying for that now, f--- a redbox my dude" >Hands us a Wal-Mart bag filled with about 40 burnt disks with recent movie titles on them >Backseat is full of these bags >Go to shake his hand and say "Jesus man, thanks. What's your name?" >"Who me? Y'all can just call me... N---- ROBIN HOOD!" >Dude peels out of the parking lot and speeds off into the night >GF and I confused as f--- >Go home, put in the disks >About half of the movies are HD rips of what the disks says they are, other half are actually just filled to the brim with new brazzers scenes Unironically the most based dude l've ever met 6 REPLIES

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