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Bill Nye speaks | /r/Greentext

ave_true_to_caesar.jpg, 60KİB, 424x500 Anonymous ID:0OGTK×VC Sat 14 Jul 2018 23:24:14 No.178779029 View >>178769660 >bill nye the science goy walks into a lab >starts yelling "BILL NYE THE SCIENCE GUY" >proceeds to pick up some beakers, shaking them around yelling "BILL BILL BILL" >scientists working there tell him to please stop >"SCIENCE RULES" >"Bill those are highly volatile chemicals, and you have neither the proper safety equipment or experience to be handling them.." >Bill suddenly freezes up and looks dead silent at the head researcher >"inertia is a property of matter" >smashes the beakers on the ground and storms out making air guitar noises
ave_true_to_caesar.jpg, 60KİB, 424x500 Anonymous ID:0OGTK×VC Sat 14 Jul 2018 23:24:14 No.178779029 View >>178769660 >bill nye the science goy walks into a lab >starts yelling "BILL NYE THE SCIENCE GUY" >proceeds to pick up some beakers, shaking them around yelling "BILL BILL BILL" >scientists working there tell him to please stop >"SCIENCE RULES" >"Bill those are highly volatile chemicals, and you have neither the proper safety equipment or experience to be handling them.." >Bill suddenly freezes up and looks dead silent at the head researcher >"inertia is a property of matter" >smashes the beakers on the ground and storms out making air guitar noises

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Anon visits Syria | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/11/17(Mon)04:43:48 No.753533284 >Be me at age 13 >Go to Syria to visit family >Family helper recruited by the army >Made meals, helped with house work >Family tells me to call him abad >Constantly call him abad >Skip to years after trip back home >Father says abad as we pass black people AS ALL >Father says abad means black people >abad=n----- >Mfw
Anonymous 12/11/17(Mon)04:43:48 No.753533284 >Be me at age 13 >Go to Syria to visit family >Family helper recruited by the army >Made meals, helped with house work >Family tells me to call him abad >Constantly call him abad >Skip to years after trip back home >Father says abad as we pass black people AS ALL >Father says abad means black people >abad=n----- >Mfw

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Commuted sentence | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/17/21(Tue)06:48:17 No.65016243 >be me >have to take the bus to the city >miss bus >next bus comes in 30 minutes >ok I'm just going to the store >go to store >get can of mountain dew 699 KB PNG >get to the cash register >want to buy can >cashier asks me how old I am >why.jpg >say I'm 18 >she asks for ID >the moment I want to give her my ID, all my change falls out of my wallet >get embarrassed and pick it up >pay >she gives me my money >money falls out of my hand on the ground >want to pick it up and get out of there >girl behind me says that I missed a coin >say thanks and wanted to take it >falls on ground >people start to laugh >just go out of the store as fast as possible. >go to bus station >still have to wait 20 minutes I hate my life
: Anonymous 08/17/21(Tue)06:48:17 No.65016243 >be me >have to take the bus to the city >miss bus >next bus comes in 30 minutes >ok I'm just going to the store >go to store >get can of mountain dew 699 KB PNG >get to the cash register >want to buy can >cashier asks me how old I am >why.jpg >say I'm 18 >she asks for ID >the moment I want to give her my ID, all my change falls out of my wallet >get embarrassed and pick it up >pay >she gives me my money >money falls out of my hand on the ground >want to pick it up and get out of there >girl behind me says that I missed a coin >say thanks and wanted to take it >falls on ground >people start to laugh >just go out of the store as fast as possible. >go to bus station >still have to wait 20 minutes I hate my life

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Anon gets an erection at the gym | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/22/14(Fri)22:43:37 No.28304814 File: image.jpg (66 KB, 645x773) >be finishing workout >qt calls me over to spot her bench >okay.jpg >get a mini hard-on while im over her >spot 40kg bench >she gets it, i mire hard, sexy as fuark too >"thanks, that was hard!" >No i wasn't! >"what?" >turn 360 degrees and power walk out the gym F---...
Anonymous 08/22/14(Fri)22:43:37 No.28304814 File: image.jpg (66 KB, 645x773) >be finishing workout >qt calls me over to spot her bench >okay.jpg >get a mini hard-on while im over her >spot 40kg bench >she gets it, i mire hard, sexy as fuark too >"thanks, that was hard!" >No i wasn't! >"what?" >turn 360 degrees and power walk out the gym F---...

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Anon is Fragile | /r/Greentext


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Anon gets sweet revenge | /r/Greentext

>be me >have actual butt burgers >social retard >somehow get job doing kitchen installs for resturants >am good worker >jew boss finds out im a "computer wiz" >literally know f--- all beyond installing loonix >has me do all the paperwork and financies and s--- on his s----- dell thats a decade old >tax time comes... >"hey anon, do my taxes" >i have literally never done taxes in life >tfw 34 years old >intentionally f--- up >he gets audited >bussiness gets audited >assets frozen >turns out hes been cheating his taxes for years >his court date is sometime in october F--- you you fat k---, should have just paid me what you owed me. 08/16/21 08:28:47 PM 1 reply
>be me >have actual butt burgers >social retard >somehow get job doing kitchen installs for resturants >am good worker >jew boss finds out im a "computer wiz" >literally know f--- all beyond installing loonix >has me do all the paperwork and financies and s--- on his s----- dell thats a decade old >tax time comes... >"hey anon, do my taxes" >i have literally never done taxes in life >tfw 34 years old >intentionally f--- up >he gets audited >bussiness gets audited >assets frozen >turns out hes been cheating his taxes for years >his court date is sometime in october F--- you you fat k---, should have just paid me what you owed me. 08/16/21 08:28:47 PM 1 reply

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Anon works as a waiter | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/19/14(Wed)19:02 UTC-4 No.25665884 Replies: >>25665919 >>25665920 >>25665925 >>25665942 >>25665983 >>25665986 File: 1395270125225.jpg-(44 KB, 960x640, 1370027577314.jpg) I WISH >>25665769 Okay >work as a waiter >eat a massive pot roast sandwich and a protein shake before work >20 minutes in my stomach sounds like a dryer with tennis shoes thrown in it TO DIE >m-m-manager I have to go home >NO WAY ANON DINNER RUSH IS HERE >o-okay >taking the orders on a table of 50 black people >asking this lady what she wants for her dressing when I very casually begin spraying diarrhea down my leg >l freeze up hard and just continue s------- >seriously it was like a quart of s--- that came out >try to say something but can only manage a whining sound (eeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhh) >it finally stops >s--- is pooling at my feet >suddenly YO DIS N---- POOPED HIS PANTS >give a little laugh to lighten to mood >it doesn't >take off into the kitchen >there is a trail of s--- behind me >run out a backdoor >drive home >phone has rang about 10000 times >never going to pick it up
Anonymous 03/19/14(Wed)19:02 UTC-4 No.25665884 Replies: >>25665919 >>25665920 >>25665925 >>25665942 >>25665983 >>25665986 File: 1395270125225.jpg-(44 KB, 960x640, 1370027577314.jpg) I WISH >>25665769 Okay >work as a waiter >eat a massive pot roast sandwich and a protein shake before work >20 minutes in my stomach sounds like a dryer with tennis shoes thrown in it TO DIE >m-m-manager I have to go home >NO WAY ANON DINNER RUSH IS HERE >o-okay >taking the orders on a table of 50 black people >asking this lady what she wants for her dressing when I very casually begin spraying diarrhea down my leg >l freeze up hard and just continue s------- >seriously it was like a quart of s--- that came out >try to say something but can only manage a whining sound (eeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhh) >it finally stops >s--- is pooling at my feet >suddenly YO DIS N---- POOPED HIS PANTS >give a little laugh to lighten to mood >it doesn't >take off into the kitchen >there is a trail of s--- behind me >run out a backdoor >drive home >phone has rang about 10000 times >never going to pick it up

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Anon learns about piracy | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 08/17/21(Tue)16:50:04 No.65014438 [Reply) >be me Fallsul 3 >decide to illegally download fallout 3 >google "fallout 3 download 2021 no virus" >click 3rd result >website seems kinda off, very minimal and it had no pop up ads or anything >say f--- it, whats the worst that could happen >click download >as soon as i clicked download, my monitor started flickering >pc fans turn red and start whirring like a jet engine from f------ hell >printer starts rapidly printing out satanic drawings >monitor is now violently flashing black and white at godspeed >hear a window behind me crash >pass out from the shear fear and anxiety >wake up in an icebath in an abandoned warehouse somewhere in south africa, missing my kidneys and limbs Piracy is no joke guys
O Anonymous 08/17/21(Tue)16:50:04 No.65014438 [Reply) >be me Fallsul 3 >decide to illegally download fallout 3 >google "fallout 3 download 2021 no virus" >click 3rd result >website seems kinda off, very minimal and it had no pop up ads or anything >say f--- it, whats the worst that could happen >click download >as soon as i clicked download, my monitor started flickering >pc fans turn red and start whirring like a jet engine from f------ hell >printer starts rapidly printing out satanic drawings >monitor is now violently flashing black and white at godspeed >hear a window behind me crash >pass out from the shear fear and anxiety >wake up in an icebath in an abandoned warehouse somewhere in south africa, missing my kidneys and limbs Piracy is no joke guys

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Frenchanon contemplates the future of transgendered in Afghanistan. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: J1317TCK ) 08/17/21(Tue)05:56:26 No.334597514 >>334597908 >>334598669 >>334608709 >>334611433 >>334615055 >>334634646 >>334636257 >>334640164 File: 1620025588224.png (68 KB, 512x512) >>334594773 (OP) >Be me >Born Male in America >Enlist in the US Army >Deploy in Afghanistan and Irak >Get traumatized by war on Terror >Developp PTSD >My psy council me to transition into women >Now l'm a women >Engage again but as a Contractor >Trap in Afghanistan when the Talichads takes control >Talichads find me and force me to marry one of them >Talichad bring me to his home with his 3 new wifes. >Talichad want to f--- me, get a boner by the idea to be f----- by an Alpha male >Talichad find out i'm not a real women >Now I'm on the roof of the tallest tower of Kaboul and I remember this quote I read on 4chan >"You will never be a women"
Anonymous (ID: J1317TCK ) 08/17/21(Tue)05:56:26 No.334597514 >>334597908 >>334598669 >>334608709 >>334611433 >>334615055 >>334634646 >>334636257 >>334640164 File: 1620025588224.png (68 KB, 512x512) >>334594773 (OP) >Be me >Born Male in America >Enlist in the US Army >Deploy in Afghanistan and Irak >Get traumatized by war on Terror >Developp PTSD >My psy council me to transition into women >Now l'm a women >Engage again but as a Contractor >Trap in Afghanistan when the Talichads takes control >Talichads find me and force me to marry one of them >Talichad bring me to his home with his 3 new wifes. >Talichad want to f--- me, get a boner by the idea to be f----- by an Alpha male >Talichad find out i'm not a real women >Now I'm on the roof of the tallest tower of Kaboul and I remember this quote I read on 4chan >"You will never be a women"

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Anon is a shithead | /r/Greentext

2:32 A boards.4chan.org – Private Board /b/ - Random Settings Mobile Home >got my brother's spare key because we live a walking distance away >we buy the same kind of bread because that's the same one we had at home 85 KB JPG >he's a man of schedule, goes shopping the same day every week, he goes on the same walk at the same time of day every day >always hated how irregular my habits are >decide to be a s------- for no reason >get a bag of bread on the same day he's gone shopping >toast the entire thing and put it back in the bag >wait until it's time for brother's walk >take my bag of toast and sneak in with my keys >know where he keeps his bread, switch the bag of bread with the bag of toast >toast two slices of bread to make the whole house smell like toast >escape once they're done >make sure I left no mark in the house, touch nothing >make it to home, start gaming >25 minutes later I get a text "I don't know how or why you've done this but I will f------ end you." View Thread
2:32 A boards.4chan.org – Private Board /b/ - Random Settings Mobile Home >got my brother's spare key because we live a walking distance away >we buy the same kind of bread because that's the same one we had at home 85 KB JPG >he's a man of schedule, goes shopping the same day every week, he goes on the same walk at the same time of day every day >always hated how irregular my habits are >decide to be a s------- for no reason >get a bag of bread on the same day he's gone shopping >toast the entire thing and put it back in the bag >wait until it's time for brother's walk >take my bag of toast and sneak in with my keys >know where he keeps his bread, switch the bag of bread with the bag of toast >toast two slices of bread to make the whole house smell like toast >escape once they're done >make sure I left no mark in the house, touch nothing >make it to home, start gaming >25 minutes later I get a text "I don't know how or why you've done this but I will f------ end you." View Thread

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The government turned anon gay | /r/Greentext

File: EA050439-584B-4A06-BEAD-0(.--).jpg (74 KB, 712x579) Being watched on the toilet Anonymous 08/16/21(Mon)11:17:08 No.65003492 [Reply] >Be me >Serve in military for 4 years >have to go to the bathroom in front of EVERYBODY >At the time think its gross and get stagefright >Now have a fetish for being watched on the toilet by other men even though Im not gay Why does the brain work like this >> Anonymous 08/16/21(Mon)11:31:16 No.65003604 ► >65003678 The government turned you gay. It's not uncommon.
File: EA050439-584B-4A06-BEAD-0(.--).jpg (74 KB, 712x579) Being watched on the toilet Anonymous 08/16/21(Mon)11:17:08 No.65003492 [Reply] >Be me >Serve in military for 4 years >have to go to the bathroom in front of EVERYBODY >At the time think its gross and get stagefright >Now have a fetish for being watched on the toilet by other men even though Im not gay Why does the brain work like this >> Anonymous 08/16/21(Mon)11:31:16 No.65003604 ► >65003678 The government turned you gay. It's not uncommon.

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Anon Skipped Sex Ed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous The d--- herp 08/15/21(Sun)16:19:37 No.63053590 >get fit (cheers bros) >Start slamming p---- endlessly >Now got herpes What do bros? 614 KB PNG
: Anonymous The d--- herp 08/15/21(Sun)16:19:37 No.63053590 >get fit (cheers bros) >Start slamming p---- endlessly >Now got herpes What do bros? 614 KB PNG

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Anon comments on recent events | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: CDB6xOaw ) 08/16/21(Mon)23:06:57 No.334643290 >>334625082 # >view pictures of aghanistan landscape >it's all arid, mountainous desert that looks inhospitable to life >38 million f------ people jesus christ muslims are rodents C
Anonymous (ID: CDB6xOaw ) 08/16/21(Mon)23:06:57 No.334643290 >>334625082 # >view pictures of aghanistan landscape >it's all arid, mountainous desert that looks inhospitable to life >38 million f------ people jesus christ muslims are rodents C

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Check no mate | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/16/21(Mon)08:31:22 No.63059642 >Girl makes fun of me >Say 'have sex' >She say 'i will' 25 KB JPG
: Anonymous 08/16/21(Mon)08:31:22 No.63059642 >Girl makes fun of me >Say 'have sex' >She say 'i will' 25 KB JPG

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Anon trolls people | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/16/21(Mon)23:31:00 No.861202609 >be me >on Reddit cause I'm a f----- >discover a subreddit called “Are TheCisOk" >basically every post is some t----- crying over a meme >getting offended over 4chan posts 10 KB JPG with "f-----" in it We've successfully trolled them, eat s--- f---.
: Anonymous 08/16/21(Mon)23:31:00 No.861202609 >be me >on Reddit cause I'm a f----- >discover a subreddit called “Are TheCisOk" >basically every post is some t----- crying over a meme >getting offended over 4chan posts 10 KB JPG with "f-----" in it We've successfully trolled them, eat s--- f---.

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Like a true New Yorker | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/08/16(Sun)23:04:54 No.683368161 >be me >20 >walking around Brooklyn >new to the city >feel and opportunity come up >yell at the top of my lungs 6 KB JPG >BADDA BING > some fat guy in a greasy tank top yells from his apartment window >BADDA BOOM >mfw
Anonymous 05/08/16(Sun)23:04:54 No.683368161 >be me >20 >walking around Brooklyn >new to the city >feel and opportunity come up >yell at the top of my lungs 6 KB JPG >BADDA BING > some fat guy in a greasy tank top yells from his apartment window >BADDA BOOM >mfw

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Anon is an absolute dumbass | /r/Greentext

File: 1595075047375.png (41 KB, 400x416) Anonymous 08/16/21(Mon)01:57:17 No.64999554 >rejected a 8/10 fit/ cheerleader because she was a virgin >i was also a virgin but trying to look cool JUST BE YOURFUCKINGSELF ANON IT'S NOT A CLICHE JUST BE GENUINE AND STOP SEEKING APPROVAL YOU WILL MISS OUT ON MUCH MORE THAN YOU REALIZE
File: 1595075047375.png (41 KB, 400x416) Anonymous 08/16/21(Mon)01:57:17 No.64999554 >rejected a 8/10 fit/ cheerleader because she was a virgin >i was also a virgin but trying to look cool JUST BE YOURFUCKINGSELF ANON IT'S NOT A CLICHE JUST BE GENUINE AND STOP SEEKING APPROVAL YOU WILL MISS OUT ON MUCH MORE THAN YOU REALIZE

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Anon was in Afghanistan | /r/Greentext

File: 031sMh_wjR-L.jpg (51 KB, 594x394) Anonymous 08/16/21(Mon)00:51:08 No.861142020 >>861142074 >>86114238 >861144572 >>861144654 >>861145618 >>861146271 >>861146338 >>861146426 >>861146460 >be me >Afghanistan vet >years spent with sand n------ >years spent teaching and building their armed forces >trillions spent >years of my life spent >countless dead in warfare >watch as the fighting force you helped to build crumbles in days of you leaving >mfw
File: 031sMh_wjR-L.jpg (51 KB, 594x394) Anonymous 08/16/21(Mon)00:51:08 No.861142020 >>861142074 >>86114238 >861144572 >>861144654 >>861145618 >>861146271 >>861146338 >>861146426 >>861146460 >be me >Afghanistan vet >years spent with sand n------ >years spent teaching and building their armed forces >trillions spent >years of my life spent >countless dead in warfare >watch as the fighting force you helped to build crumbles in days of you leaving >mfw

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Anon wants to join the 27 club. | /r/Greentext

| Anonymous 08/16/21(Mon)19:11:31 No.65009820 >parents say that I've overstayed my welcome since I'm 27 and they said that most people get kicked НАНАНА IVE HAD ENOUGH! out at 18 >Credit is trashed, cannot even go into debt to get started 104 KB JPG >Have no desires left >Every night I pray for death >My options are be homeless and work myself to the bone or work myself to the bone for a cot in a room for $1ka month >Everyone hates me for no reason, cannot find friends >Plan is to save up for a gun to blow my brains out once I get kicked out This is fun, this is normal 11 Replies / 2 Images View Thread
| Anonymous 08/16/21(Mon)19:11:31 No.65009820 >parents say that I've overstayed my welcome since I'm 27 and they said that most people get kicked НАНАНА IVE HAD ENOUGH! out at 18 >Credit is trashed, cannot even go into debt to get started 104 KB JPG >Have no desires left >Every night I pray for death >My options are be homeless and work myself to the bone or work myself to the bone for a cot in a room for $1ka month >Everyone hates me for no reason, cannot find friends >Plan is to save up for a gun to blow my brains out once I get kicked out This is fun, this is normal 11 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Anon tries brown town | /r/Greentext

File: 1385097571576.jpg-(213 KB, 625x882, sadlebron.jpg) O Anonymous 11/22/13(Fri)00:19:31 UTC-5 No.517378963 >be 17yo me >alone with gf at her house, her parents out >commence nudity on living room couch >asks if I want to try something new >next exit: brown town >put it in her buttz >meh, everything I hoped for and less >decide to keep going to get the xp >hear car door slam in driveway >ishouldprobablyheadout.zip >pull out too fast >explosive torrent of diarrhea erupts forth upon withdrawal >stomach, d---, and thighs all covered in doodie >all over couch and rug too >gf to scared to be embarassed >tells me she will blame the poopoo mess on her dog >hurries me out back door as her parents enter >decide to hide for a few minutes and see how situation plays out >after a short while her dad brings dog out into back yard >pulls handgun out of jacket >shoots dog in head >mfw jesus dog died for our sins
File: 1385097571576.jpg-(213 KB, 625x882, sadlebron.jpg) O Anonymous 11/22/13(Fri)00:19:31 UTC-5 No.517378963 >be 17yo me >alone with gf at her house, her parents out >commence nudity on living room couch >asks if I want to try something new >next exit: brown town >put it in her buttz >meh, everything I hoped for and less >decide to keep going to get the xp >hear car door slam in driveway >ishouldprobablyheadout.zip >pull out too fast >explosive torrent of diarrhea erupts forth upon withdrawal >stomach, d---, and thighs all covered in doodie >all over couch and rug too >gf to scared to be embarassed >tells me she will blame the poopoo mess on her dog >hurries me out back door as her parents enter >decide to hide for a few minutes and see how situation plays out >after a short while her dad brings dog out into back yard >pulls handgun out of jacket >shoots dog in head >mfw jesus dog died for our sins

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