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Anon Gets Shanghaied | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/16/21(Mon)09:31:00 No.65004196 >wake up THE >you're in a lowe's >they're fortifying the area with sandbags and mounted turrets HOME >blue-coloured BGM-71 TOW anti-tank launcher is being placed by two employees >you realize what's about to happen, but 6 KB PNG it's too late >mortar fire engulfs the area around the lowe's, as you run to aisle 3 to hide yourself >the sound of helicopters slowly gets louder, as you begin to hear the home depot theme >the front of the store is annihilated from the mortar fire >there's nothing but a cloud of smoke in front of the store >the lowe's employees let loose on the M3M turrets as the home depot loyalists charge into the store, improvised bayonets made from wooden planks fixed to their rifles >the home depot loyalists' helicopters are quickly taken down by the lowe's gunners >splattered red paste soaks the front of the home improvement store turned battlefield >the fighting stops as both sides focus their attention to the noises of incoming tanks >your ears ring, as a deafening noise assails the store >"SAVE BIG MONEY AT MENARDS," the speakers begin to exclaim, as the tanks begin to fire upon the lowe's >the home depot loyalists join forces with the lowe's workers, as they prepare to hold off the forces of menards
: Anonymous 08/16/21(Mon)09:31:00 No.65004196 >wake up THE >you're in a lowe's >they're fortifying the area with sandbags and mounted turrets HOME >blue-coloured BGM-71 TOW anti-tank launcher is being placed by two employees >you realize what's about to happen, but 6 KB PNG it's too late >mortar fire engulfs the area around the lowe's, as you run to aisle 3 to hide yourself >the sound of helicopters slowly gets louder, as you begin to hear the home depot theme >the front of the store is annihilated from the mortar fire >there's nothing but a cloud of smoke in front of the store >the lowe's employees let loose on the M3M turrets as the home depot loyalists charge into the store, improvised bayonets made from wooden planks fixed to their rifles >the home depot loyalists' helicopters are quickly taken down by the lowe's gunners >splattered red paste soaks the front of the home improvement store turned battlefield >the fighting stops as both sides focus their attention to the noises of incoming tanks >your ears ring, as a deafening noise assails the store >"SAVE BIG MONEY AT MENARDS," the speakers begin to exclaim, as the tanks begin to fire upon the lowe's >the home depot loyalists join forces with the lowe's workers, as they prepare to hold off the forces of menards

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Anon found the glitch | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/17/21(Tue)01:32:03 No.65009259 >you need to have sex to stop being an incel >women don't have sex with incels the game is rigged from the start 12 KB PNG
: Anonymous 08/17/21(Tue)01:32:03 No.65009259 >you need to have sex to stop being an incel >women don't have sex with incels the game is rigged from the start 12 KB PNG

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Anon is a secret agent | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/03/20(Thu)13:39:24 No.77546528 File: gjC9Byr7.jpg (66 KB, 948x661) >>77548958 >>77550391 FB1 >>77544429 (OP) >give me all you have on this man >sir the subject appears to not have any form of social media to his name >no job record >not married >he is practically a ghost >nobody can spend decades as a recluse he must be a foreign operative >sir the only thing he does is posting "based & redpilled" on a mongolian fishing forum >could this be a secret message?
Anonymous 09/03/20(Thu)13:39:24 No.77546528 File: gjC9Byr7.jpg (66 KB, 948x661) >>77548958 >>77550391 FB1 >>77544429 (OP) >give me all you have on this man >sir the subject appears to not have any form of social media to his name >no job record >not married >he is practically a ghost >nobody can spend decades as a recluse he must be a foreign operative >sir the only thing he does is posting "based & redpilled" on a mongolian fishing forum >could this be a secret message?

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Anon’s shit phenomenon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/16/21(Mon)09:13:06 No.65002965 >Need to s--- real bad, like "insides are audibly rumbling" bad >Go to sit on the toilet >Suddenly don't feel the need to s--- anymore >Sit there and push for a few minutes just in case 19 KB JPG >Guess I don't really need to s--- >Get up to wash my friends >Suddenly need to s--- again but disappears as quickly again MAKE UP YOUR MIND, GOD DAMN IT Anyone else experience this s--- phenomenon? I haven't s--- yet. : Anonymous 08/16/21(Mon)09:15:47 No.65002986 >>65002965 (OP) # Hands, I meant hands.
: Anonymous 08/16/21(Mon)09:13:06 No.65002965 >Need to s--- real bad, like "insides are audibly rumbling" bad >Go to sit on the toilet >Suddenly don't feel the need to s--- anymore >Sit there and push for a few minutes just in case 19 KB JPG >Guess I don't really need to s--- >Get up to wash my friends >Suddenly need to s--- again but disappears as quickly again MAKE UP YOUR MIND, GOD DAMN IT Anyone else experience this s--- phenomenon? I haven't s--- yet. : Anonymous 08/16/21(Mon)09:15:47 No.65002986 >>65002965 (OP) # Hands, I meant hands.

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Americhad enters Afghanistan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/16/21(Mon)16:52:53 No.861183969 >barges into Afghanistan in 2001 >destabilizes entire country >control 60% of it >leaves >entire country falls into chaos >refuses to elaborate, is never heard from again 62 KB JPG
: Anonymous 08/16/21(Mon)16:52:53 No.861183969 >barges into Afghanistan in 2001 >destabilizes entire country >control 60% of it >leaves >entire country falls into chaos >refuses to elaborate, is never heard from again 62 KB JPG

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Anon buys some movies | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 6 hours ago 434656828 >1 in the morning >GF at the time wanted to get food and rent a movie to fool around to before bed >Stop by a redbox at a walgreens near her place >Black guy dressed like f------ Peter Pan or something pulls up to us in his car by the redbox >Figure, "oh s--- here we go, going to have to fight some nog" >"Nah y'all don't need to be paying for that now, f--- a redbox my dude" >Hands us a Wal-Mart bag filled with about 40 burnt disks with recent movie titles on them >Backseat is full of these bags >Go to shake his hand and say "Jesus man, thanks. What's your name?" >"Who me? Y'all can just call me... N---- ROBIN HOOD!" >Dude peels out of the parking lot and speeds off into the night >GF and I confused as f--- >Go home, put in the disks >About half of the movies are HD rips of what the disks says they are, other half are actually just filled to the brim with new brazzers scenes Unironically the most based dude l've ever met 6 REPLIES
Anonymous 6 hours ago 434656828 >1 in the morning >GF at the time wanted to get food and rent a movie to fool around to before bed >Stop by a redbox at a walgreens near her place >Black guy dressed like f------ Peter Pan or something pulls up to us in his car by the redbox >Figure, "oh s--- here we go, going to have to fight some nog" >"Nah y'all don't need to be paying for that now, f--- a redbox my dude" >Hands us a Wal-Mart bag filled with about 40 burnt disks with recent movie titles on them >Backseat is full of these bags >Go to shake his hand and say "Jesus man, thanks. What's your name?" >"Who me? Y'all can just call me... N---- ROBIN HOOD!" >Dude peels out of the parking lot and speeds off into the night >GF and I confused as f--- >Go home, put in the disks >About half of the movies are HD rips of what the disks says they are, other half are actually just filled to the brim with new brazzers scenes Unironically the most based dude l've ever met 6 REPLIES

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Stupid society | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/16/21(Mon)22:35:27 No.861179364 >>861179153 # > humans have sex with animals all the time as a normal part of farming and pet breeding as part of a job > why cant I f--- my dog , stupid society : Anonymous 08/16/21(Mon)22:35:33 No.861179369 >>861179153 # >humans have sex with animals all the time as a normal part of farming and pet breeding This is not how farming works...
: Anonymous 08/16/21(Mon)22:35:27 No.861179364 >>861179153 # > humans have sex with animals all the time as a normal part of farming and pet breeding as part of a job > why cant I f--- my dog , stupid society : Anonymous 08/16/21(Mon)22:35:33 No.861179369 >>861179153 # >humans have sex with animals all the time as a normal part of farming and pet breeding This is not how farming works...

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Anon goes for a job interview | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/16/21(Mon)13:26:45 No.861172531 >go in for job interview >Only m----------- in there with ironed business casual clothes >Everyone else showed up to the interview in just a T-shirt and some jeans >l'm the only person that brought a copy of my resume and college schedule in a binder. 61 KB JPG I don't think I'm gonna get this job anons.
: Anonymous 08/16/21(Mon)13:26:45 No.861172531 >go in for job interview >Only m----------- in there with ironed business casual clothes >Everyone else showed up to the interview in just a T-shirt and some jeans >l'm the only person that brought a copy of my resume and college schedule in a binder. 61 KB JPG I don't think I'm gonna get this job anons.

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Anon gets culture shocked | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/16/21(Mon)12:04:21 No.65004638 >Be me, black >Grow up in hood, going to s----- public school >hide in locker rooms during PE and recess playing Yugioh or gambling with other boys in my class > No supervision, a few fights/bullies 181 KB JPG but otherwise chill. > Mom works her ass off to get me into a private high school in a rich white neighborhood. > Never really been around white ppl before > Enter locker room for gym class on 1st day. > People strutting around naked, their pale bodies like featherless chickens. > Waving their tiny cocks around > Shoving axe body spray cans up their asses > Jizzing on each others belongings as "pranks". > Not only am I the only N---- in the school, I'm the weirdo kid who changes in the toilet stall by himself. This type of thing was a regular occurrence all 4 years. Is this standard Caucasoid behavior? No wonder your race is dying out.
: Anonymous 08/16/21(Mon)12:04:21 No.65004638 >Be me, black >Grow up in hood, going to s----- public school >hide in locker rooms during PE and recess playing Yugioh or gambling with other boys in my class > No supervision, a few fights/bullies 181 KB JPG but otherwise chill. > Mom works her ass off to get me into a private high school in a rich white neighborhood. > Never really been around white ppl before > Enter locker room for gym class on 1st day. > People strutting around naked, their pale bodies like featherless chickens. > Waving their tiny cocks around > Shoving axe body spray cans up their asses > Jizzing on each others belongings as "pranks". > Not only am I the only N---- in the school, I'm the weirdo kid who changes in the toilet stall by himself. This type of thing was a regular occurrence all 4 years. Is this standard Caucasoid behavior? No wonder your race is dying out.

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Phantom limb | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/16/21(Mon)13:26:29 No.65004942 >2020 >be 348lb fat f--- >decided to finally commit to weight loss after years of failure >diet like a mad man, workout till Im near puking for a year >yesterday >current weight 192 CMARS 8 KB JPG >feel great, whole new wardrobe bc old clothes literally look like rags on me >family and friends constantly comment on how great I look >walking in Target >see gargantuan fat man >instantly think "I probably still look like that" >don't eat for rest of day It's happening more and more often. Im not sure if it's like impostor syndrome or something, but l'm so horrified of being fat again that the sight of a fat person is enough to send me spiraling. I didn't want to trade one eating disorder for another but I guess that's how it is.
: Anonymous 08/16/21(Mon)13:26:29 No.65004942 >2020 >be 348lb fat f--- >decided to finally commit to weight loss after years of failure >diet like a mad man, workout till Im near puking for a year >yesterday >current weight 192 CMARS 8 KB JPG >feel great, whole new wardrobe bc old clothes literally look like rags on me >family and friends constantly comment on how great I look >walking in Target >see gargantuan fat man >instantly think "I probably still look like that" >don't eat for rest of day It's happening more and more often. Im not sure if it's like impostor syndrome or something, but l'm so horrified of being fat again that the sight of a fat person is enough to send me spiraling. I didn't want to trade one eating disorder for another but I guess that's how it is.

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The Internet | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: MZ20POFE 01/16/17(Mon)18:36:57 No.107430086 Before internet >i want to f--- toasters >dont be a f------ retard >grow up After internet >l want to f--- a toaster >google >find a community with 1000+ members about people wanting to f--- toasters >f--- up your life >>107430609 #
: Anonymous (ID: MZ20POFE 01/16/17(Mon)18:36:57 No.107430086 Before internet >i want to f--- toasters >dont be a f------ retard >grow up After internet >l want to f--- a toaster >google >find a community with 1000+ members about people wanting to f--- toasters >f--- up your life >>107430609 #

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Jap anon goes to paris | /r/Greentext

No.150230605 18 minutes ago AOD88ED6-9CF4-4D90-934E-794C1C8670D7.png PNG 10.6 KiB 600x800 United States >Ah finarry, I have arrived in Paris, city of rove.. >l-I-IS THAT B-B-B-BRACK PEEPORU??? AND ARAB?! >AAAAAAAAAAIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE >*dies*
No.150230605 18 minutes ago AOD88ED6-9CF4-4D90-934E-794C1C8670D7.png PNG 10.6 KiB 600x800 United States >Ah finarry, I have arrived in Paris, city of rove.. >l-I-IS THAT B-B-B-BRACK PEEPORU??? AND ARAB?! >AAAAAAAAAAIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE >*dies*

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Eye on the prize | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/14/21(Sat)10:44:53 No.63033657 File: fellowkids.jpg (87 KB, 900x720) >>63033745 >>63026058 (OP)# >Last sunday, sleep a bit longer then usual ISIC BRAD >Hear some rumblin on the stairs and quiet voices >Door opens, my wife and two kids enter with breakfast >Wife and oldest kid tells me they love me >Eat breakfast, get a smile from the baby Being a dad is awesome, hope you are all going to make it.
Anonymous 08/14/21(Sat)10:44:53 No.63033657 File: fellowkids.jpg (87 KB, 900x720) >>63033745 >>63026058 (OP)# >Last sunday, sleep a bit longer then usual ISIC BRAD >Hear some rumblin on the stairs and quiet voices >Door opens, my wife and two kids enter with breakfast >Wife and oldest kid tells me they love me >Eat breakfast, get a smile from the baby Being a dad is awesome, hope you are all going to make it.

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Facing the facts | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/16/21(Mon)09:39:33 No.65002696 >girl keeps looking at me in class >always hanging out around me >her body language says that she likes me >add her on facebook >doesnt accept >"ok so she probably doesnt like me then" 2 KB JPG >stop giving her attention >then a few days later again she starts dropping hints >add her again >doesnt accept Can someone explain this behavior? What does she want?
: Anonymous 08/16/21(Mon)09:39:33 No.65002696 >girl keeps looking at me in class >always hanging out around me >her body language says that she likes me >add her on facebook >doesnt accept >"ok so she probably doesnt like me then" 2 KB JPG >stop giving her attention >then a few days later again she starts dropping hints >add her again >doesnt accept Can someone explain this behavior? What does she want?

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Jawbreaker | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/16/21(Mon)09:56:42 No.65002817 >Your interview went quite well anon, I have to say! >But... I can't offer you the position. >See, we want the general public to feel 'safe' when shopping here, and unfortunately for you, you have that particular 'look' which makes people uncomfortable... I think 56 KB JPG it's the weak jawline. >I hope this experience hasn't discouraged you since I wish you the best of luck :) 2 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 08/16/21(Mon)09:57:47 No.65002826 You've made a powerful enemy today Bethany.
: Anonymous 08/16/21(Mon)09:56:42 No.65002817 >Your interview went quite well anon, I have to say! >But... I can't offer you the position. >See, we want the general public to feel 'safe' when shopping here, and unfortunately for you, you have that particular 'look' which makes people uncomfortable... I think 56 KB JPG it's the weak jawline. >I hope this experience hasn't discouraged you since I wish you the best of luck :) 2 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 08/16/21(Mon)09:57:47 No.65002826 You've made a powerful enemy today Bethany.

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Anon escapes the internet | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/16/21 (Mon)04:21:00 No.65000211 >used the internet to escape reality >now I have to use the reality to escape internet 70 KB JPG
: Anonymous 08/16/21 (Mon)04:21:00 No.65000211 >used the internet to escape reality >now I have to use the reality to escape internet 70 KB JPG

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Anon uses Omegle | /r/Greentext

File: 20190131-053124-Ali-Liston.jpg (239 KB, 1500x1125) O Anonymous 05/13/21(Thu)16:56:30 No.854355841 >logs onto omegle for daily social interaction >"stranger: what are ur pronouns?" >SJW spotted >"Me:Nig/Ger." >They disconect crowning me the victor pic related
File: 20190131-053124-Ali-Liston.jpg (239 KB, 1500x1125) O Anonymous 05/13/21(Thu)16:56:30 No.854355841 >logs onto omegle for daily social interaction >"stranger: what are ur pronouns?" >SJW spotted >"Me:Nig/Ger." >They disconect crowning me the victor pic related

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is this a W? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/17/19(Sat)17:25:33 No.53964074 >send d--- pic to a girl from soc, so she can rate it >says it's 2/10 and small A girl saw my peepee. Later virgins 28 KB JPG : Anonymous 08/17/19(Sat)17:27:17 No.53964102 >>53964074 (OP) # >girl some guy just bullied your small d---
: Anonymous 08/17/19(Sat)17:25:33 No.53964074 >send d--- pic to a girl from soc, so she can rate it >says it's 2/10 and small A girl saw my peepee. Later virgins 28 KB JPG : Anonymous 08/17/19(Sat)17:27:17 No.53964102 >>53964074 (OP) # >girl some guy just bullied your small d---

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Anon goes to Chuck e Cheeseddds | /r/Greentext

true dedication >be me >9 >around 2004 >good boys who do good in classes get a free trip to chuck e cheeze >they give us barely any tokens though >good at the games so i get a s--- load 2.7 kB JPG of tickets >use tickets to buy big ass chuck e cheeze plush >teachers catch me >teachers say ''it's not fair for the other students who didnt get enough tickets to buy one, give it to me'" >whatthefuck.jpeg >9 year old me is processing this mindfuck >whale teacher looks at me >take chuck e cheese >book it >run outside of chuck e cheeze >skinny me manages to run fast even though not exercising at all >make it to school >rest for 5 minutes >im surprised the teacher didnt come chasing back, she was a whale >walk home >chuck e cheese plush is with me >come to school next day >principal gives me a talk >never allowed to go to the events for the high class good boys >mfw i look back at this
true dedication >be me >9 >around 2004 >good boys who do good in classes get a free trip to chuck e cheeze >they give us barely any tokens though >good at the games so i get a s--- load 2.7 kB JPG of tickets >use tickets to buy big ass chuck e cheeze plush >teachers catch me >teachers say ''it's not fair for the other students who didnt get enough tickets to buy one, give it to me'" >whatthefuck.jpeg >9 year old me is processing this mindfuck >whale teacher looks at me >take chuck e cheese >book it >run outside of chuck e cheeze >skinny me manages to run fast even though not exercising at all >make it to school >rest for 5 minutes >im surprised the teacher didnt come chasing back, she was a whale >walk home >chuck e cheese plush is with me >come to school next day >principal gives me a talk >never allowed to go to the events for the high class good boys >mfw i look back at this

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Anon is lonely | /r/Greentext

: OP 08/15/21(Sun)19:32:57 No.64989598 >18th birthday >No messages from friends because I don't have any >No messages from family >Just alone in my one room appartment I don't want this take me back to being a child where I had no 300 KB PNG responsibility 44 Replies / 10 Images View Thread
: OP 08/15/21(Sun)19:32:57 No.64989598 >18th birthday >No messages from friends because I don't have any >No messages from family >Just alone in my one room appartment I don't want this take me back to being a child where I had no 300 KB PNG responsibility 44 Replies / 10 Images View Thread

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