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Anon gets his chance | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/13/21(Fri)01:58:54 No.860933312 >be me >had crush on girl for years now >we're friends and I'm too much of a p---- to confess >coming home from school >it's pretty late in the day >quite hot out 6 KB JPG >see crush across street >"yo!" >sees me and crosses street >walkinghometogether.jpeg >suddenly holds my hand >look at her >she's blushing >"wanna go back to my house anon?" >fuckyeah.png >get to her place >parents aren't home >horny as f--- >walk around her house for a minute >suddenly get pushed when I turn around >she's on top of me >making out >taking off my pants >wake up >realize that all of it was a dream and I haven't talked to her in 2 weeks >cry
: Anonymous 08/13/21(Fri)01:58:54 No.860933312 >be me >had crush on girl for years now >we're friends and I'm too much of a p---- to confess >coming home from school >it's pretty late in the day >quite hot out 6 KB JPG >see crush across street >"yo!" >sees me and crosses street >walkinghometogether.jpeg >suddenly holds my hand >look at her >she's blushing >"wanna go back to my house anon?" >fuckyeah.png >get to her place >parents aren't home >horny as f--- >walk around her house for a minute >suddenly get pushed when I turn around >she's on top of me >making out >taking off my pants >wake up >realize that all of it was a dream and I haven't talked to her in 2 weeks >cry

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Anon regrets his decisions | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 08/10/21(Tue)14:18:02 No.2149174 D File: 53E346A4-1362-4124-8188-3(...).jpg (463 KB, 2048x1536) >decide to stay home >"I should've gone out tonight" >next day >decide to go out >"I should've stayed home tonight"
O Anonymous 08/10/21(Tue)14:18:02 No.2149174 D File: 53E346A4-1362-4124-8188-3(...).jpg (463 KB, 2048x1536) >decide to stay home >"I should've gone out tonight" >next day >decide to go out >"I should've stayed home tonight"

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Anon Meets the Penis Inspector | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/10/21(Tue)22:38:42 No.64925813 >on night walk few hours ago >see person walking my way >hes wearing a black hoodie with the hood up and dark trousers >get nervous and start panicking >clench my fists and mentally prepare myself for a fight 15 KB JPG >he approaches >he speaks >"hey man" >i turn to face him >"whats up" >"hey man are you gay?" >confused as f--- >"what?" >"hey man i said are you gay?" >"no..." >"oh right, well you have a good night!" >he smiles a big grin >he walks past me and continues down the street only in britain...
: Anonymous 08/10/21(Tue)22:38:42 No.64925813 >on night walk few hours ago >see person walking my way >hes wearing a black hoodie with the hood up and dark trousers >get nervous and start panicking >clench my fists and mentally prepare myself for a fight 15 KB JPG >he approaches >he speaks >"hey man" >i turn to face him >"whats up" >"hey man are you gay?" >confused as f--- >"what?" >"hey man i said are you gay?" >"no..." >"oh right, well you have a good night!" >he smiles a big grin >he walks past me and continues down the street only in britain...

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Guide on how to be rich | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/02/17(Fn)21:42:54 No.9005626 nuggets.jpg 478 KB JPG What is your largest fast food order? : Anonymous 06/03/17(Sat)00:25:47 No.9006160 >>9005626 (OP) i was in the phillipines and ordered 30 yum burgers from jollibees because they were so cheap my action caused a huge scene because i was in a remote city that rarely sees white people, and the magnitude of burgers i ordered 229006183 # 229006205 : Anonymous 06/03/17(Sat)00:45:01 No.9006205 >>9006160 >Never see a white person in all 35 years of your life >Hear stories about how much they eat >Think that impossible, nobody could stomach that much! >One day, skinny white man arrives >Astounding! >What a novelty! >But surely the rumors must be false, see how thin he is >Follow him into local Jollibees to confirm >He orders 30 f------ burgers >3 f------ 0 >Go home to wife >Tell her we must sell everything >Need to open hotdog stand in America >We will be fabulously wealthy
: Anonymous 06/02/17(Fn)21:42:54 No.9005626 nuggets.jpg 478 KB JPG What is your largest fast food order? : Anonymous 06/03/17(Sat)00:25:47 No.9006160 >>9005626 (OP) i was in the phillipines and ordered 30 yum burgers from jollibees because they were so cheap my action caused a huge scene because i was in a remote city that rarely sees white people, and the magnitude of burgers i ordered 229006183 # 229006205 : Anonymous 06/03/17(Sat)00:45:01 No.9006205 >>9006160 >Never see a white person in all 35 years of your life >Hear stories about how much they eat >Think that impossible, nobody could stomach that much! >One day, skinny white man arrives >Astounding! >What a novelty! >But surely the rumors must be false, see how thin he is >Follow him into local Jollibees to confirm >He orders 30 f------ burgers >3 f------ 0 >Go home to wife >Tell her we must sell everything >Need to open hotdog stand in America >We will be fabulously wealthy

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Anon watches better call saul | /r/Greentext

File: FB_IMG_1520188491183.jpg (21 KB, 400x400) Anonymous 08/12/21(Thu)20:25:37 No.860893911 >>860893964 >got cozy blanket >window open and cool air incoming >got my chips >ready up my cold beer >most lights off Yep, its better call saul time Anonymous 08/12/21(Thu)20:26:51 No.860893964 >>860894094 File: Ikke-navngivet.png (47 KB, 1350x730) >>860893911 (OP) dogs shouldnt have beer O Anonymous 08/12/21(Thu)20:29:46 No.860894094 File: FB_IMG_1582993264344.jpg (67 KB, 960x948) >>860894401 >>860893964 Dont worry it dosent contain alcohol Mr. Duck
File: FB_IMG_1520188491183.jpg (21 KB, 400x400) Anonymous 08/12/21(Thu)20:25:37 No.860893911 >>860893964 >got cozy blanket >window open and cool air incoming >got my chips >ready up my cold beer >most lights off Yep, its better call saul time Anonymous 08/12/21(Thu)20:26:51 No.860893964 >>860894094 File: Ikke-navngivet.png (47 KB, 1350x730) >>860893911 (OP) dogs shouldnt have beer O Anonymous 08/12/21(Thu)20:29:46 No.860894094 File: FB_IMG_1582993264344.jpg (67 KB, 960x948) >>860894401 >>860893964 Dont worry it dosent contain alcohol Mr. Duck

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Snap back to reality | /r/Greentext


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Anon is The Last Fartbender | /r/Greentext


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Anon is Motivational | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/04/21(Wed)18:52:56 No.64839918 Ugly dudes do not exist. Let me explain. >Say you are a solid 2/10. >Start working out and you become a 4/10. >Then you buy new clothes and fix your style and become a 6/10. >You also start grooming yourself correctly, this makes you an 8/10. ted of everyone bu 104 KB JPG >After all that, you get your money up and women now see you as a 10/10. It all starts with you. What will you do to elevate yourself?
: Anonymous 08/04/21(Wed)18:52:56 No.64839918 Ugly dudes do not exist. Let me explain. >Say you are a solid 2/10. >Start working out and you become a 4/10. >Then you buy new clothes and fix your style and become a 6/10. >You also start grooming yourself correctly, this makes you an 8/10. ted of everyone bu 104 KB JPG >After all that, you get your money up and women now see you as a 10/10. It all starts with you. What will you do to elevate yourself?

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Anon knows hank hills | /r/Greentext

10804645 - Aug 1 >back in high school >group of kids do nothing but talk like hank hill >imagine a dozen f------ hank hills >have some anti drug rally >guy starts saying some reasons kids get lured into drugs >kid raises hand and says "why do drugs when you can just mow a lawn" >group praises him by saying "taste the meat not the heat" >guy legitimately has no idea what to reply, "next question"s it
10804645 - Aug 1 >back in high school >group of kids do nothing but talk like hank hill >imagine a dozen f------ hank hills >have some anti drug rally >guy starts saying some reasons kids get lured into drugs >kid raises hand and says "why do drugs when you can just mow a lawn" >group praises him by saying "taste the meat not the heat" >guy legitimately has no idea what to reply, "next question"s it

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Anon talks to autistic retard neckbeards. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/27/18(Tue)15:49:02 No.785975313 >Be me >/b/tard >Dad sees me laughing at my phone >ohshit.jpg CLAP CLAP >"What you laughing at anon?" >Panic tell them just the funny 30 KB JPG meme website called 4chan >Dad loses it >"THAT WEBSITE IS FULL OF HACKERS AND PEDOPHILES, ARE YOU TRYING TO GET ABDUCTED? ARE YOU A PDEOPHILE? DO I NEED TO WORRY ABOUT YOU COMMITTING HACKER CRIMES ONLINE?" >mfw my dad thinks im talking to elite hacker pedophiles online >mfw I really talk to autistic retard neckbeards
: Anonymous 11/27/18(Tue)15:49:02 No.785975313 >Be me >/b/tard >Dad sees me laughing at my phone >ohshit.jpg CLAP CLAP >"What you laughing at anon?" >Panic tell them just the funny 30 KB JPG meme website called 4chan >Dad loses it >"THAT WEBSITE IS FULL OF HACKERS AND PEDOPHILES, ARE YOU TRYING TO GET ABDUCTED? ARE YOU A PDEOPHILE? DO I NEED TO WORRY ABOUT YOU COMMITTING HACKER CRIMES ONLINE?" >mfw my dad thinks im talking to elite hacker pedophiles online >mfw I really talk to autistic retard neckbeards

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Anon fixes his low self esteem | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/11/21(Wed)19:46:45 No.64936813 >be me >low self esteem >try and change it >become narcissist did i do something wrong? 55 KB JPG 1 Reply View Thread
: Anonymous 08/11/21(Wed)19:46:45 No.64936813 >be me >low self esteem >try and change it >become narcissist did i do something wrong? 55 KB JPG 1 Reply View Thread

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Anon may have saved a girl's life | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Adopted a qt homeless girl 08/12/21 (Thu)10:46:06 No.64945303 >Be 28 >Meet qt 19 tomboy qt through mutual fren >We hit it off in a couple of days, sleep with her >Find out more about her >Dad was abusive, mom a crackhead 582 KB JPG and tried to prostitute her >She goes into cps and group homes and hates it >She turns 19 and goes back to her mom's >Mom is regretful but still a crack head and making her daughter sell drugs with her to help pay rent >l immediately take her away from there and have her stay at my place >Don't know what to do. I have funds but not sure what right thing to do is : Anonymous 08/12/21(Thu)10:47:52 No.64945324 I mean, I like her, but the age difference is pretty weird and don't know if I should bring her around to friends and family. Also I don't want her to be obliged to be in a relationship with me because I'm taking care of her >>64945434 # >>64945478 # >>64945534 # >>64945924 #
: Anonymous Adopted a qt homeless girl 08/12/21 (Thu)10:46:06 No.64945303 >Be 28 >Meet qt 19 tomboy qt through mutual fren >We hit it off in a couple of days, sleep with her >Find out more about her >Dad was abusive, mom a crackhead 582 KB JPG and tried to prostitute her >She goes into cps and group homes and hates it >She turns 19 and goes back to her mom's >Mom is regretful but still a crack head and making her daughter sell drugs with her to help pay rent >l immediately take her away from there and have her stay at my place >Don't know what to do. I have funds but not sure what right thing to do is : Anonymous 08/12/21(Thu)10:47:52 No.64945324 I mean, I like her, but the age difference is pretty weird and don't know if I should bring her around to friends and family. Also I don't want her to be obliged to be in a relationship with me because I'm taking care of her >>64945434 # >>64945478 # >>64945534 # >>64945924 #

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Anon gets fired | /r/Greentext

File: neckbeard.jpg.jpg (70 KB, 780x438) Anonymous 08/12/21(Thu)15:33:42 No.64944133 > be me > cave dwelling neckbeard f-- > translate video games to get by > hate my life > doing a little trolling.exe to pass time fast forward 3 years > work is actually fun > start putting my heart into it > promotion.xcf > now work for Rewpawn entertainment > happy fast forward to 2021 > salt miners find 14 year old shitposts > get fired > mfw
File: neckbeard.jpg.jpg (70 KB, 780x438) Anonymous 08/12/21(Thu)15:33:42 No.64944133 > be me > cave dwelling neckbeard f-- > translate video games to get by > hate my life > doing a little trolling.exe to pass time fast forward 3 years > work is actually fun > start putting my heart into it > promotion.xcf > now work for Rewpawn entertainment > happy fast forward to 2021 > salt miners find 14 year old shitposts > get fired > mfw

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Anon is not that misogynistic | /r/Greentext


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Beat boxing | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/12/21(Thu)09:44:43 No.64944243 >Be Fembot >Hooking up with guy from the factory I work at >Accidentally fart in doggystyle >He says 'Damn, that p---- talkin to me >:)' 61 KB JPG >Mfw
: Anonymous 08/12/21(Thu)09:44:43 No.64944243 >Be Fembot >Hooking up with guy from the factory I work at >Accidentally fart in doggystyle >He says 'Damn, that p---- talkin to me >:)' 61 KB JPG >Mfw

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Anon is Italian | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/22/18(Wed)09:08:49 No.777883934 >be me >am 17 >am pretty stupid and broke so decide to sell fake feels good drugs >start filling a few bags with oregano and selling to man 30 KB JPG freshmen >kids actually believe it's weed and buy some >mfw they fake being high and then come back to buy more >one day called up to principals office >there's a cop in there >they ask to search my bag >mfw all they find is oregano >mfw I say I'm making pasta after school and my friend gave me some oregano he grew to use >mfw they can't do anything so they send me back to class
: Anonymous 08/22/18(Wed)09:08:49 No.777883934 >be me >am 17 >am pretty stupid and broke so decide to sell fake feels good drugs >start filling a few bags with oregano and selling to man 30 KB JPG freshmen >kids actually believe it's weed and buy some >mfw they fake being high and then come back to buy more >one day called up to principals office >there's a cop in there >they ask to search my bag >mfw all they find is oregano >mfw I say I'm making pasta after school and my friend gave me some oregano he grew to use >mfw they can't do anything so they send me back to class

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Anon is a great Dad. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 1 hour ago 47948202 Bye :) >Be me >have a kid at 18yrs old >at first gfs pregnancy is meh >she bitch alot >deal wit it until kid is born >kid borns, it's the most horrifying event to watch >kid is all good, be happy :) >>>fast forward minot AM NOT CRYING OKAY >now I'm 22, kid is about to turn 5 at this xmas >me goes to doctors cause bad prolonged headaches... >get diagnosed with brain cancer >mfw >try to tell 4yr old why dad is not going to be around anymore >he does not understand >l make sure that he will be ok >I love that little mf, he is my life, the only good thing I ever made... >l only have about 6 to 10month if lucky >Good Bye greentexts and anons :') 9 REPLIES
Anonymous 1 hour ago 47948202 Bye :) >Be me >have a kid at 18yrs old >at first gfs pregnancy is meh >she bitch alot >deal wit it until kid is born >kid borns, it's the most horrifying event to watch >kid is all good, be happy :) >>>fast forward minot AM NOT CRYING OKAY >now I'm 22, kid is about to turn 5 at this xmas >me goes to doctors cause bad prolonged headaches... >get diagnosed with brain cancer >mfw >try to tell 4yr old why dad is not going to be around anymore >he does not understand >l make sure that he will be ok >I love that little mf, he is my life, the only good thing I ever made... >l only have about 6 to 10month if lucky >Good Bye greentexts and anons :') 9 REPLIES

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Meet the parents | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/11/21(Wed)21:48:23 No.64938172 's house? >hey mom, can I go to >who's | ? where do they live? who are their parents? Are they home? >uh... I don't know. I'm like five and we just go to school together. >no. you can't go. >hey mom, can I go to ____'s birthday party? >who's _? who are their parents? where is it? what time is the party? >uh... I don't know. I just have an invitation. I assume there will be lots of kids and some parents. >no you can't go. >hey mom, my friend invited me to go fishing with his dad. Can go? >who's your friend? How big is the boat? Where are you fishing? Do they have life jackets? No. You can't go. It's not safe. >hey mom, can I go trick or treating? My friends are here and we're just going to go around the neighborhood. >no you can't go. Halloween is the devil's holiday and it's too dark outside and dangerous and you'll probably get hit by a car or get arrested for vandalizing the neighborhood. I bet your friend has eggs and toilet paper. >hey mom, a cute asian girl from band practice invited me to her Korean church, can I go? It's church. | >No. You cannot go to church with a cute asian girl who is showing interest in you. 3:00 pm on a Saturday >ANON, WAKE UUUUUUP! IT'S 3:00PM! WHY DON'T YOU GO OUT AND DO STUFF WITH YOUR FRIENDS?! YOU ARE WASTING YOUR LIFE AWAY AT HOO00OME DOING NO000TTTHIIIING! AAAAАНННННННННННННННННННН!
: Anonymous 08/11/21(Wed)21:48:23 No.64938172 's house? >hey mom, can I go to >who's | ? where do they live? who are their parents? Are they home? >uh... I don't know. I'm like five and we just go to school together. >no. you can't go. >hey mom, can I go to ____'s birthday party? >who's _? who are their parents? where is it? what time is the party? >uh... I don't know. I just have an invitation. I assume there will be lots of kids and some parents. >no you can't go. >hey mom, my friend invited me to go fishing with his dad. Can go? >who's your friend? How big is the boat? Where are you fishing? Do they have life jackets? No. You can't go. It's not safe. >hey mom, can I go trick or treating? My friends are here and we're just going to go around the neighborhood. >no you can't go. Halloween is the devil's holiday and it's too dark outside and dangerous and you'll probably get hit by a car or get arrested for vandalizing the neighborhood. I bet your friend has eggs and toilet paper. >hey mom, a cute asian girl from band practice invited me to her Korean church, can I go? It's church. | >No. You cannot go to church with a cute asian girl who is showing interest in you. 3:00 pm on a Saturday >ANON, WAKE UUUUUUP! IT'S 3:00PM! WHY DON'T YOU GO OUT AND DO STUFF WITH YOUR FRIENDS?! YOU ARE WASTING YOUR LIFE AWAY AT HOO00OME DOING NO000TTTHIIIING! AAAAАНННННННННННННННННННН!

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Anon is a YouTuber | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/12/20(Sat)16:24:43 No.60012186 >Try to start a Youtube >Post every day >30 days in >Embarrassed about my videos >only viewer is mom >she comments positive things on 10 KB JPG every video Thanks Mom
: Anonymous 09/12/20(Sat)16:24:43 No.60012186 >Try to start a Youtube >Post every day >30 days in >Embarrassed about my videos >only viewer is mom >she comments positive things on 10 KB JPG every video Thanks Mom

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Crunch n' munch | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/12/21(Thu)05:07:50 No.63001345 >b me >on the phone sitting next to mom >"so, you know that the obesity rate in america is like 40+%, isn't that crazy?" >"I guess so, anon. Why bring that up ?" 2.1 MB JPG >she was always insecure about her weight despite being 56 kg at 5'7 >"i just can't imagine how these people live ..rant... >fast forward to the next day. Find mom doing crunches in the living room Bless her soul, bros.
: Anonymous 08/12/21(Thu)05:07:50 No.63001345 >b me >on the phone sitting next to mom >"so, you know that the obesity rate in america is like 40+%, isn't that crazy?" >"I guess so, anon. Why bring that up ?" 2.1 MB JPG >she was always insecure about her weight despite being 56 kg at 5'7 >"i just can't imagine how these people live ..rant... >fast forward to the next day. Find mom doing crunches in the living room Bless her soul, bros.

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