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Anon eats his pickle | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/23/15(Wed)22:56:01 No.642863132 >>642860186 (OP) # >work at liqour store >see obviously underage girls enter and rush to the back >hear them whispering and discussing what to get >they grab heaven hill vodka >they try and check out and I ask for l'd >they "lost" it but one says her dad says its ok she's 22 >laugh at them and tell them gtfo >same girl tells me her dad is rich blah blah >they leave and I start eating a pickle in a bag >drive thru bell rings >walk over and see its the same girls >they freak out one says that there should have been someone else >l stare at them eating my pickle >they speed off >good pickle
: Anonymous 09/23/15(Wed)22:56:01 No.642863132 >>642860186 (OP) # >work at liqour store >see obviously underage girls enter and rush to the back >hear them whispering and discussing what to get >they grab heaven hill vodka >they try and check out and I ask for l'd >they "lost" it but one says her dad says its ok she's 22 >laugh at them and tell them gtfo >same girl tells me her dad is rich blah blah >they leave and I start eating a pickle in a bag >drive thru bell rings >walk over and see its the same girls >they freak out one says that there should have been someone else >l stare at them eating my pickle >they speed off >good pickle

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Anon submits a greentext post | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/08/19(Fri)17:38:28 No.792141603 >seeing some girl recently >go to her house to f--- her again >while we are cuddling ask her what's on her mind >tells me that she likes me >tell her I like her too 410 KB PNG >tells me how she likes to kiss me, hold me, how she likes me eyes, my laugh, the way I talk >we don't fall asleep until 5am >leave her house around 7am >keeps saying she doesn't want me to go >driving back to my place the feelings hit me >tfw you've been emotionally deprived for the first 19 years of your life >tfw you thought you would end up alone and a loser but you managed to turn out just fine >tfw you realize you aren't alone in this world >tfw you matter to someone It's a feeling that is warmer than heroin /b/
: Anonymous 02/08/19(Fri)17:38:28 No.792141603 >seeing some girl recently >go to her house to f--- her again >while we are cuddling ask her what's on her mind >tells me that she likes me >tell her I like her too 410 KB PNG >tells me how she likes to kiss me, hold me, how she likes me eyes, my laugh, the way I talk >we don't fall asleep until 5am >leave her house around 7am >keeps saying she doesn't want me to go >driving back to my place the feelings hit me >tfw you've been emotionally deprived for the first 19 years of your life >tfw you thought you would end up alone and a loser but you managed to turn out just fine >tfw you realize you aren't alone in this world >tfw you matter to someone It's a feeling that is warmer than heroin /b/

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Anon is tired | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: dlvNZoUJ )+ 08/21/18(Tue)02:58:33 No.6234215 >Be me >14 >math class >flip through the book to see where we left off >yawn like three times in a row 85 KB PNG >tired like balls >whatthefuck.jpg >l was really energetic an hour ago >look over to my friend >she yawns >she's almost asleep >teacher says she's tired >whatthefuck.v2 >look around the class >everyone's yawning their souls away >someone mentions he's tired as well >like four people are resting their heads on the table >headmaster talks trough the intercom >we have to evacuate >everyone goes outside >get told to go home >get home >sleep >wake up >7 pm >look at the news >someone had planted some sleeping gas in our school or some s--- >mfw our whole class was high Kids Need Vitamins & Minerals to Grow 3 Repli E Up Healthy: Search Children's Vitamins iread Ad by Healthl ivina today
: Anonymous (ID: dlvNZoUJ )+ 08/21/18(Tue)02:58:33 No.6234215 >Be me >14 >math class >flip through the book to see where we left off >yawn like three times in a row 85 KB PNG >tired like balls >whatthefuck.jpg >l was really energetic an hour ago >look over to my friend >she yawns >she's almost asleep >teacher says she's tired >whatthefuck.v2 >look around the class >everyone's yawning their souls away >someone mentions he's tired as well >like four people are resting their heads on the table >headmaster talks trough the intercom >we have to evacuate >everyone goes outside >get told to go home >get home >sleep >wake up >7 pm >look at the news >someone had planted some sleeping gas in our school or some s--- >mfw our whole class was high Kids Need Vitamins & Minerals to Grow 3 Repli E Up Healthy: Search Children's Vitamins iread Ad by Healthl ivina today

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Chris brown saves the day | /r/Greentext


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Anon is the boogeyman. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/12/21(Thu)22:23:03 No.860920667 >be me >19 yo normie M >6'6 and moderate muscles from being a fitizen >get into elevator >listening to Radio Head (Before you ask, no I was not 479 KB JPG listening to Lift) >small 5'5 woman gets into elevator with me. >we make eye contact >she gets into the corner of the elevator >she clutches her purse tightly >she holds her pepper spray tight in her hand >l get off two stops later >get into car absolutely broken God what the f--- bros do I really scare her? I feel really bad. I get in large but to think I'm scary enough to warrant her reaction? 20 Replies / 3 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 08/12/21(Thu)22:23:03 No.860920667 >be me >19 yo normie M >6'6 and moderate muscles from being a fitizen >get into elevator >listening to Radio Head (Before you ask, no I was not 479 KB JPG listening to Lift) >small 5'5 woman gets into elevator with me. >we make eye contact >she gets into the corner of the elevator >she clutches her purse tightly >she holds her pepper spray tight in her hand >l get off two stops later >get into car absolutely broken God what the f--- bros do I really scare her? I feel really bad. I get in large but to think I'm scary enough to warrant her reaction? 20 Replies / 3 Images View Thread

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Anon is depressed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/12/21(Thu)10:06:21 No.64941666 >wake up >start crying big bleh 28 KB PNG
: Anonymous 08/12/21(Thu)10:06:21 No.64941666 >wake up >start crying big bleh 28 KB PNG

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Anon gets put in place | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/27/19(Sat)08:24:41 No.53599618 >be me in highschool >one day the teacher asks the class what album or song he should play >most of the class asked him to play lil pump or BTS or whatever s--- to have the teacher play >teacher picks me and I say Master of Puppets album from Metallica >he plays it and the entire class is saying to pick 73 KB JPG something else >MFW I'm the only one that enjoys rock and metal music of my class >MFW everyone is saying that it's garbage : Anonymous 07/27/19(Sat)08:28:12 No.53599650 >>53599618 (OP) # you were born in the wrong generation huh? Take your boomer rock and f--- off to the nursing home. Yeah >>53599805 #
: Anonymous 07/27/19(Sat)08:24:41 No.53599618 >be me in highschool >one day the teacher asks the class what album or song he should play >most of the class asked him to play lil pump or BTS or whatever s--- to have the teacher play >teacher picks me and I say Master of Puppets album from Metallica >he plays it and the entire class is saying to pick 73 KB JPG something else >MFW I'm the only one that enjoys rock and metal music of my class >MFW everyone is saying that it's garbage : Anonymous 07/27/19(Sat)08:28:12 No.53599650 >>53599618 (OP) # you were born in the wrong generation huh? Take your boomer rock and f--- off to the nursing home. Yeah >>53599805 #

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Anon feels good | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/12/21(Thu)10:59:16 No.64942058 >>64941666 (OP) # >wake up >splitting headache >start drinking >feel better Feels good
: Anonymous 08/12/21(Thu)10:59:16 No.64942058 >>64941666 (OP) # >wake up >splitting headache >start drinking >feel better Feels good

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Anon gets his chance | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/13/21(Fri)01:58:54 No.860933312 >be me >had crush on girl for years now >we're friends and I'm too much of a p---- to confess >coming home from school >it's pretty late in the day >quite hot out 6 KB JPG >see crush across street >"yo!" >sees me and crosses street >walkinghometogether.jpeg >suddenly holds my hand >look at her >she's blushing >"wanna go back to my house anon?" >fuckyeah.png >get to her place >parents aren't home >horny as f--- >walk around her house for a minute >suddenly get pushed when I turn around >she's on top of me >making out >taking off my pants >wake up >realize that all of it was a dream and I haven't talked to her in 2 weeks >cry
: Anonymous 08/13/21(Fri)01:58:54 No.860933312 >be me >had crush on girl for years now >we're friends and I'm too much of a p---- to confess >coming home from school >it's pretty late in the day >quite hot out 6 KB JPG >see crush across street >"yo!" >sees me and crosses street >walkinghometogether.jpeg >suddenly holds my hand >look at her >she's blushing >"wanna go back to my house anon?" >fuckyeah.png >get to her place >parents aren't home >horny as f--- >walk around her house for a minute >suddenly get pushed when I turn around >she's on top of me >making out >taking off my pants >wake up >realize that all of it was a dream and I haven't talked to her in 2 weeks >cry

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Anon regrets his decisions | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 08/10/21(Tue)14:18:02 No.2149174 D File: 53E346A4-1362-4124-8188-3(...).jpg (463 KB, 2048x1536) >decide to stay home >"I should've gone out tonight" >next day >decide to go out >"I should've stayed home tonight"
O Anonymous 08/10/21(Tue)14:18:02 No.2149174 D File: 53E346A4-1362-4124-8188-3(...).jpg (463 KB, 2048x1536) >decide to stay home >"I should've gone out tonight" >next day >decide to go out >"I should've stayed home tonight"

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Anon Meets the Penis Inspector | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/10/21(Tue)22:38:42 No.64925813 >on night walk few hours ago >see person walking my way >hes wearing a black hoodie with the hood up and dark trousers >get nervous and start panicking >clench my fists and mentally prepare myself for a fight 15 KB JPG >he approaches >he speaks >"hey man" >i turn to face him >"whats up" >"hey man are you gay?" >confused as f--- >"what?" >"hey man i said are you gay?" >"no..." >"oh right, well you have a good night!" >he smiles a big grin >he walks past me and continues down the street only in britain...
: Anonymous 08/10/21(Tue)22:38:42 No.64925813 >on night walk few hours ago >see person walking my way >hes wearing a black hoodie with the hood up and dark trousers >get nervous and start panicking >clench my fists and mentally prepare myself for a fight 15 KB JPG >he approaches >he speaks >"hey man" >i turn to face him >"whats up" >"hey man are you gay?" >confused as f--- >"what?" >"hey man i said are you gay?" >"no..." >"oh right, well you have a good night!" >he smiles a big grin >he walks past me and continues down the street only in britain...

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Guide on how to be rich | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/02/17(Fn)21:42:54 No.9005626 nuggets.jpg 478 KB JPG What is your largest fast food order? : Anonymous 06/03/17(Sat)00:25:47 No.9006160 >>9005626 (OP) i was in the phillipines and ordered 30 yum burgers from jollibees because they were so cheap my action caused a huge scene because i was in a remote city that rarely sees white people, and the magnitude of burgers i ordered 229006183 # 229006205 : Anonymous 06/03/17(Sat)00:45:01 No.9006205 >>9006160 >Never see a white person in all 35 years of your life >Hear stories about how much they eat >Think that impossible, nobody could stomach that much! >One day, skinny white man arrives >Astounding! >What a novelty! >But surely the rumors must be false, see how thin he is >Follow him into local Jollibees to confirm >He orders 30 f------ burgers >3 f------ 0 >Go home to wife >Tell her we must sell everything >Need to open hotdog stand in America >We will be fabulously wealthy
: Anonymous 06/02/17(Fn)21:42:54 No.9005626 nuggets.jpg 478 KB JPG What is your largest fast food order? : Anonymous 06/03/17(Sat)00:25:47 No.9006160 >>9005626 (OP) i was in the phillipines and ordered 30 yum burgers from jollibees because they were so cheap my action caused a huge scene because i was in a remote city that rarely sees white people, and the magnitude of burgers i ordered 229006183 # 229006205 : Anonymous 06/03/17(Sat)00:45:01 No.9006205 >>9006160 >Never see a white person in all 35 years of your life >Hear stories about how much they eat >Think that impossible, nobody could stomach that much! >One day, skinny white man arrives >Astounding! >What a novelty! >But surely the rumors must be false, see how thin he is >Follow him into local Jollibees to confirm >He orders 30 f------ burgers >3 f------ 0 >Go home to wife >Tell her we must sell everything >Need to open hotdog stand in America >We will be fabulously wealthy

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Anon watches better call saul | /r/Greentext

File: FB_IMG_1520188491183.jpg (21 KB, 400x400) Anonymous 08/12/21(Thu)20:25:37 No.860893911 >>860893964 >got cozy blanket >window open and cool air incoming >got my chips >ready up my cold beer >most lights off Yep, its better call saul time Anonymous 08/12/21(Thu)20:26:51 No.860893964 >>860894094 File: Ikke-navngivet.png (47 KB, 1350x730) >>860893911 (OP) dogs shouldnt have beer O Anonymous 08/12/21(Thu)20:29:46 No.860894094 File: FB_IMG_1582993264344.jpg (67 KB, 960x948) >>860894401 >>860893964 Dont worry it dosent contain alcohol Mr. Duck
File: FB_IMG_1520188491183.jpg (21 KB, 400x400) Anonymous 08/12/21(Thu)20:25:37 No.860893911 >>860893964 >got cozy blanket >window open and cool air incoming >got my chips >ready up my cold beer >most lights off Yep, its better call saul time Anonymous 08/12/21(Thu)20:26:51 No.860893964 >>860894094 File: Ikke-navngivet.png (47 KB, 1350x730) >>860893911 (OP) dogs shouldnt have beer O Anonymous 08/12/21(Thu)20:29:46 No.860894094 File: FB_IMG_1582993264344.jpg (67 KB, 960x948) >>860894401 >>860893964 Dont worry it dosent contain alcohol Mr. Duck

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Snap back to reality | /r/Greentext


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Anon is The Last Fartbender | /r/Greentext


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Anon is Motivational | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/04/21(Wed)18:52:56 No.64839918 Ugly dudes do not exist. Let me explain. >Say you are a solid 2/10. >Start working out and you become a 4/10. >Then you buy new clothes and fix your style and become a 6/10. >You also start grooming yourself correctly, this makes you an 8/10. ted of everyone bu 104 KB JPG >After all that, you get your money up and women now see you as a 10/10. It all starts with you. What will you do to elevate yourself?
: Anonymous 08/04/21(Wed)18:52:56 No.64839918 Ugly dudes do not exist. Let me explain. >Say you are a solid 2/10. >Start working out and you become a 4/10. >Then you buy new clothes and fix your style and become a 6/10. >You also start grooming yourself correctly, this makes you an 8/10. ted of everyone bu 104 KB JPG >After all that, you get your money up and women now see you as a 10/10. It all starts with you. What will you do to elevate yourself?

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Anon knows hank hills | /r/Greentext

10804645 - Aug 1 >back in high school >group of kids do nothing but talk like hank hill >imagine a dozen f------ hank hills >have some anti drug rally >guy starts saying some reasons kids get lured into drugs >kid raises hand and says "why do drugs when you can just mow a lawn" >group praises him by saying "taste the meat not the heat" >guy legitimately has no idea what to reply, "next question"s it
10804645 - Aug 1 >back in high school >group of kids do nothing but talk like hank hill >imagine a dozen f------ hank hills >have some anti drug rally >guy starts saying some reasons kids get lured into drugs >kid raises hand and says "why do drugs when you can just mow a lawn" >group praises him by saying "taste the meat not the heat" >guy legitimately has no idea what to reply, "next question"s it

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Anon talks to autistic retard neckbeards. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/27/18(Tue)15:49:02 No.785975313 >Be me >/b/tard >Dad sees me laughing at my phone >ohshit.jpg CLAP CLAP >"What you laughing at anon?" >Panic tell them just the funny 30 KB JPG meme website called 4chan >Dad loses it >"THAT WEBSITE IS FULL OF HACKERS AND PEDOPHILES, ARE YOU TRYING TO GET ABDUCTED? ARE YOU A PDEOPHILE? DO I NEED TO WORRY ABOUT YOU COMMITTING HACKER CRIMES ONLINE?" >mfw my dad thinks im talking to elite hacker pedophiles online >mfw I really talk to autistic retard neckbeards
: Anonymous 11/27/18(Tue)15:49:02 No.785975313 >Be me >/b/tard >Dad sees me laughing at my phone >ohshit.jpg CLAP CLAP >"What you laughing at anon?" >Panic tell them just the funny 30 KB JPG meme website called 4chan >Dad loses it >"THAT WEBSITE IS FULL OF HACKERS AND PEDOPHILES, ARE YOU TRYING TO GET ABDUCTED? ARE YOU A PDEOPHILE? DO I NEED TO WORRY ABOUT YOU COMMITTING HACKER CRIMES ONLINE?" >mfw my dad thinks im talking to elite hacker pedophiles online >mfw I really talk to autistic retard neckbeards

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Anon fixes his low self esteem | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/11/21(Wed)19:46:45 No.64936813 >be me >low self esteem >try and change it >become narcissist did i do something wrong? 55 KB JPG 1 Reply View Thread
: Anonymous 08/11/21(Wed)19:46:45 No.64936813 >be me >low self esteem >try and change it >become narcissist did i do something wrong? 55 KB JPG 1 Reply View Thread

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Anon may have saved a girl's life | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Adopted a qt homeless girl 08/12/21 (Thu)10:46:06 No.64945303 >Be 28 >Meet qt 19 tomboy qt through mutual fren >We hit it off in a couple of days, sleep with her >Find out more about her >Dad was abusive, mom a crackhead 582 KB JPG and tried to prostitute her >She goes into cps and group homes and hates it >She turns 19 and goes back to her mom's >Mom is regretful but still a crack head and making her daughter sell drugs with her to help pay rent >l immediately take her away from there and have her stay at my place >Don't know what to do. I have funds but not sure what right thing to do is : Anonymous 08/12/21(Thu)10:47:52 No.64945324 I mean, I like her, but the age difference is pretty weird and don't know if I should bring her around to friends and family. Also I don't want her to be obliged to be in a relationship with me because I'm taking care of her >>64945434 # >>64945478 # >>64945534 # >>64945924 #
: Anonymous Adopted a qt homeless girl 08/12/21 (Thu)10:46:06 No.64945303 >Be 28 >Meet qt 19 tomboy qt through mutual fren >We hit it off in a couple of days, sleep with her >Find out more about her >Dad was abusive, mom a crackhead 582 KB JPG and tried to prostitute her >She goes into cps and group homes and hates it >She turns 19 and goes back to her mom's >Mom is regretful but still a crack head and making her daughter sell drugs with her to help pay rent >l immediately take her away from there and have her stay at my place >Don't know what to do. I have funds but not sure what right thing to do is : Anonymous 08/12/21(Thu)10:47:52 No.64945324 I mean, I like her, but the age difference is pretty weird and don't know if I should bring her around to friends and family. Also I don't want her to be obliged to be in a relationship with me because I'm taking care of her >>64945434 # >>64945478 # >>64945534 # >>64945924 #

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