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Anon is reads between the lines | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/15/21(Tue)09:59:58 No.152340406 "Help, help! Cedric Diggory has been killed! Yes, Cedric Diggory, my main rival as Hogwarts Champion and object of Cho Chang's affection, has been killed in the maze! Voldemort did it! He's been dead for thirteen years, but he's back, and he killed Cedric! Don't ask how, no one ask how! There were no witnesses, please do not look for any! The other two Champions in the maze were cursed with Imperio! Don't bother fetching your Veritaserum, professor Snape, I believe it's all been stolen. I am so upset right now! Has anyone seen Cho? When do I get the prize money?" 42 KB JPG
: Anonymous 06/15/21(Tue)09:59:58 No.152340406 "Help, help! Cedric Diggory has been killed! Yes, Cedric Diggory, my main rival as Hogwarts Champion and object of Cho Chang's affection, has been killed in the maze! Voldemort did it! He's been dead for thirteen years, but he's back, and he killed Cedric! Don't ask how, no one ask how! There were no witnesses, please do not look for any! The other two Champions in the maze were cursed with Imperio! Don't bother fetching your Veritaserum, professor Snape, I believe it's all been stolen. I am so upset right now! Has anyone seen Cho? When do I get the prize money?" 42 KB JPG

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Anon starts speaking polish | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/03/21 (Mon)17:24:58 No.14 >Fall asleep on my keyboard >Poles in the thread agree with me 62 KB JPG
Anonymous 05/03/21 (Mon)17:24:58 No.14 >Fall asleep on my keyboard >Poles in the thread agree with me 62 KB JPG

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Anon does business | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 5LNU3RNK ) 06/22/19(Sat)10:34:49 No.217104587 >>217101455 (OP) # >neighbor puts house up for sale >grow out grass and throw trash on the lawn >buy a s----- car, leave it on blocks in the driveway 81 KB JPG >buy neighbor's house for a steal >cut grass, clean up trash, scrap car >sell neighbor's house >mfw 40% profit
: Anonymous (ID: 5LNU3RNK ) 06/22/19(Sat)10:34:49 No.217104587 >>217101455 (OP) # >neighbor puts house up for sale >grow out grass and throw trash on the lawn >buy a s----- car, leave it on blocks in the driveway 81 KB JPG >buy neighbor's house for a steal >cut grass, clean up trash, scrap car >sell neighbor's house >mfw 40% profit

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why_alachol_is_bad_Anon_2003-05-02.pptx | /r/Greentext

> be me > in health class, have to make a powerpoint about why alcohol is bad 359 KB PNG > 12th grade so no one cares > presentation day comes along > no one has done any work > teacher opens up class file > one project > titled "alachol" > teacher walks out of room > mfw
> be me > in health class, have to make a powerpoint about why alcohol is bad 359 KB PNG > 12th grade so no one cares > presentation day comes along > no one has done any work > teacher opens up class file > one project > titled "alachol" > teacher walks out of room > mfw

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Anon experiences typical day in healthcare | /r/Greentext

>Be male 26y RN >Sort of Dudebroish. >Been working at a Pediatric hospital(l actually really don't like kids) >Doing an administration of new kid >T1 Diabetic. >Sexual trauma, with really bad burns on his right arm >Both parents lost custody and are in jail >CPS is getting him checked out before putting him in the system >Been through the same thing so I know he'|l be in a state facility for quite some time >Feelbadbutwhatevernotme.jpg >Figure he'll be here a week before they ship him to a orphanage. >Fastforward >Doing his Pre dinner injection/regular assessments >Kid looks a lot like me when I was a kid >Tried to turn on the TV and talk to him, but he won't say anything to me >Give him his light and right as I go to leave he begs me to stay >Caught up with work at the moment, and it is in my Job description. Figure he'll just cry and tell me what happened to him. >Actually end up talking about his interests >He played Civ 4 and liked it, was a really big fan of Kirby games, however his favorite game so far was demon souls when he played it at his friends house >holyshitthiskidiscool.jpg >Literally spent an hour talking to him, getting behind on my rounds at the same time. >Do double shifts as much as possible just to hang out with him >Friends wondering why I'm working so hard, they don't understand that I'm actually excited to go to work for once >Kid is piratically my little brother at this point >Considering applying to be his foster father, talked to the state/my job about it. >Literally no push back from the state, just have to show I have a stable housing and good income(esypsy) >Job upset, however they understand and tell me I can't be his nurse due to conflict of interest, and I have to be on leave till he's discharged. >He's getting discharged in 2 days w/e. >cont'd : Anonymous 03/18/16(Fri)12:25:37 No.674590932 >>674589230 # >Gonna surprise him tomorrow the day before he gets discharged >look up cool room designs for him, really excited 338 KB JPG >Notice new nurse working the hall >Tell her all about his favorite foods and how too approach him/talk to him >Brushes me off and tells me I need to go. >Tell her to just be mindful. >Feel like I can be the father I never had >I know it's gonna be rough but I love this kid enough to give up my life for him >Fastforward to the morning >Was too excited to sleep >Notice Police cars by where I walk in >Notuncommon >DoN is talking to officers >Her face goes pure white as soon as she sees me >Look at her strangely as I walk to kidsbros room >Not there >Look for him in the activity room >Not there >DoN stopped talking to officers at this point, still staring >Walk up and ask her where kid bro is >She can't look me in the face >Panicing at this point >"Where is he?."Voice noticeably raised. >All she can mutter is "I'm sorry..." >Heart drops >Literally starting running back and forth down the halls looking for him >Another nurse had to tell me what happened because the DoN was too afraid >Kidbro died because the new nurse doubled his insulin injections. TWICE >Walk into his room and sit on his bed crying >Never knew I was this emotional >Quit my job the next day Bye Shawn, I'm sorry that I wasn't there to help you...You made me realize how badly I wanted to be the father you should of had, that I should of had.
>Be male 26y RN >Sort of Dudebroish. >Been working at a Pediatric hospital(l actually really don't like kids) >Doing an administration of new kid >T1 Diabetic. >Sexual trauma, with really bad burns on his right arm >Both parents lost custody and are in jail >CPS is getting him checked out before putting him in the system >Been through the same thing so I know he'|l be in a state facility for quite some time >Feelbadbutwhatevernotme.jpg >Figure he'll be here a week before they ship him to a orphanage. >Fastforward >Doing his Pre dinner injection/regular assessments >Kid looks a lot like me when I was a kid >Tried to turn on the TV and talk to him, but he won't say anything to me >Give him his light and right as I go to leave he begs me to stay >Caught up with work at the moment, and it is in my Job description. Figure he'll just cry and tell me what happened to him. >Actually end up talking about his interests >He played Civ 4 and liked it, was a really big fan of Kirby games, however his favorite game so far was demon souls when he played it at his friends house >holyshitthiskidiscool.jpg >Literally spent an hour talking to him, getting behind on my rounds at the same time. >Do double shifts as much as possible just to hang out with him >Friends wondering why I'm working so hard, they don't understand that I'm actually excited to go to work for once >Kid is piratically my little brother at this point >Considering applying to be his foster father, talked to the state/my job about it. >Literally no push back from the state, just have to show I have a stable housing and good income(esypsy) >Job upset, however they understand and tell me I can't be his nurse due to conflict of interest, and I have to be on leave till he's discharged. >He's getting discharged in 2 days w/e. >cont'd : Anonymous 03/18/16(Fri)12:25:37 No.674590932 >>674589230 # >Gonna surprise him tomorrow the day before he gets discharged >look up cool room designs for him, really excited 338 KB JPG >Notice new nurse working the hall >Tell her all about his favorite foods and how too approach him/talk to him >Brushes me off and tells me I need to go. >Tell her to just be mindful. >Feel like I can be the father I never had >I know it's gonna be rough but I love this kid enough to give up my life for him >Fastforward to the morning >Was too excited to sleep >Notice Police cars by where I walk in >Notuncommon >DoN is talking to officers >Her face goes pure white as soon as she sees me >Look at her strangely as I walk to kidsbros room >Not there >Look for him in the activity room >Not there >DoN stopped talking to officers at this point, still staring >Walk up and ask her where kid bro is >She can't look me in the face >Panicing at this point >"Where is he?."Voice noticeably raised. >All she can mutter is "I'm sorry..." >Heart drops >Literally starting running back and forth down the halls looking for him >Another nurse had to tell me what happened because the DoN was too afraid >Kidbro died because the new nurse doubled his insulin injections. TWICE >Walk into his room and sit on his bed crying >Never knew I was this emotional >Quit my job the next day Bye Shawn, I'm sorry that I wasn't there to help you...You made me realize how badly I wanted to be the father you should of had, that I should of had.

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Anon is hungry | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/04/18(Thu)00:49:35 No.42248973 Social f--- up thread? >Be me >Hungry before work >See donut shop and think "f--- it, that sounds pretty good" >Go inside and get a chocolate BER EEE EEEEEEEEE 172 KB PNG donut and a chocolate muffin >Cashier says "Wow, lots of chocolate today huh?" >"Haha yeah, I'm the chocolate man from chocolate land." >never return there Why am I like this?
: Anonymous 01/04/18(Thu)00:49:35 No.42248973 Social f--- up thread? >Be me >Hungry before work >See donut shop and think "f--- it, that sounds pretty good" >Go inside and get a chocolate BER EEE EEEEEEEEE 172 KB PNG donut and a chocolate muffin >Cashier says "Wow, lots of chocolate today huh?" >"Haha yeah, I'm the chocolate man from chocolate land." >never return there Why am I like this?

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Anon finds evidence of Nazi atrocities | /r/Greentext

Daniella Hill @Daniella_Hill Nazis killed my great- grandmas friend in Belgium by putting him in a giant freezer, he fell out and broke into pieces infront of her... 2:11 PM · 8/17/12 · Twitter Web Client 1566280174666.jpg 62 KB JPG >the holocaust was fa- : Anonymous (ID: P85Z×RYU 08/20/19(Tue)05:41:40 No.223748152 >223746792 (OP) # nazis drew a tunel on a wall and my grandpa ran in to it and died 15 KB JPG >>223748236 # >>223748504 # >>223749077 # >>223749200 # >>223749945 # >>223750793 # >>223750928 # >>223751221 # >>223751485 # >>223752175 #
Daniella Hill @Daniella_Hill Nazis killed my great- grandmas friend in Belgium by putting him in a giant freezer, he fell out and broke into pieces infront of her... 2:11 PM · 8/17/12 · Twitter Web Client 1566280174666.jpg 62 KB JPG >the holocaust was fa- : Anonymous (ID: P85Z×RYU 08/20/19(Tue)05:41:40 No.223748152 >223746792 (OP) # nazis drew a tunel on a wall and my grandpa ran in to it and died 15 KB JPG >>223748236 # >>223748504 # >>223749077 # >>223749200 # >>223749945 # >>223750793 # >>223750928 # >>223751221 # >>223751485 # >>223752175 #

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Atleast we got a cool meme format | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/06/21(Fri)20:03:55 No.112188222 the virgin jockey vs the uncooperative chad stallion.jpg 118 KB JPG >dedicate several years of your life training for the olympics >be on gold course >go from #1 to rock bottom because your performance in a meme discipline gets foiled by a f------ horse >>112188359 #
: Anonymous 08/06/21(Fri)20:03:55 No.112188222 the virgin jockey vs the uncooperative chad stallion.jpg 118 KB JPG >dedicate several years of your life training for the olympics >be on gold course >go from #1 to rock bottom because your performance in a meme discipline gets foiled by a f------ horse >>112188359 #

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Anon has birthday at mom's | /r/Greentext

>be me >Divorced parents >Weekends with mom >l had birthday >l arrived to mom's place >She had s--- job with low money >Enter her flat >She kissed me and show me her presents/gifts >She bought entire pizza just for me, and Star Wars Force Unleased for PSP >One of best days in life
>be me >Divorced parents >Weekends with mom >l had birthday >l arrived to mom's place >She had s--- job with low money >Enter her flat >She kissed me and show me her presents/gifts >She bought entire pizza just for me, and Star Wars Force Unleased for PSP >One of best days in life

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Anon roleplays | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/09/21(Mon)20:37:09 No.860703546 >be me, bisexual girl on Discord >join 13+ NSFW server >mod slides into my DMs, asks for nudes >say "go back to 4chan" How do you feel about this? You are the home of this b-------. 9 KB JPG : Anonymous 08/09/21 (Mon)20:45:20 No.860703993 >>860703546 (OP) # >be you >sweaty obese man >larping How does it feel anon?
: Anonymous 08/09/21(Mon)20:37:09 No.860703546 >be me, bisexual girl on Discord >join 13+ NSFW server >mod slides into my DMs, asks for nudes >say "go back to 4chan" How do you feel about this? You are the home of this b-------. 9 KB JPG : Anonymous 08/09/21 (Mon)20:45:20 No.860703993 >>860703546 (OP) # >be you >sweaty obese man >larping How does it feel anon?

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Anon has a nightly encounter | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/15/20(Thu)08:03:25 No.26452956 >>26425930 (OP) # >Be me 13 >Get up for a glass of water at 1am >Living room pitch black, except the glow from a dull yellow lamp >Hear a voice calling my name: "anon." and pausing before calling again: "anon." >Get a really weird sensation in my legs as I look around the room. >I think "ah man, the schizophrenia's kicking in" >"Anon." and I notice the voice is coming from outside the window >Walk over to the window, and the voice says "good night anon" >lt was just my dad out in the yard looking at stars
: Anonymous 10/15/20(Thu)08:03:25 No.26452956 >>26425930 (OP) # >Be me 13 >Get up for a glass of water at 1am >Living room pitch black, except the glow from a dull yellow lamp >Hear a voice calling my name: "anon." and pausing before calling again: "anon." >Get a really weird sensation in my legs as I look around the room. >I think "ah man, the schizophrenia's kicking in" >"Anon." and I notice the voice is coming from outside the window >Walk over to the window, and the voice says "good night anon" >lt was just my dad out in the yard looking at stars

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Anon Has a Good Outlook on Achieving His Life Goals... Right? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/15/19(Thu)20:11:48 No.53925486 >Walk up to boss >"Hey anything we gotta do around here?" >"Yeah we gotta do all the drum brakes on the trailers but some of the bolts broke off so you'll have to melt em off with the cutting torch." 82 KB JPG >Pretend he is an NPC giving me a quest >Money is my EXP >Each pay period is a level up >level 208 right now keep grinding out the levels friends
: Anonymous 08/15/19(Thu)20:11:48 No.53925486 >Walk up to boss >"Hey anything we gotta do around here?" >"Yeah we gotta do all the drum brakes on the trailers but some of the bolts broke off so you'll have to melt em off with the cutting torch." 82 KB JPG >Pretend he is an NPC giving me a quest >Money is my EXP >Each pay period is a level up >level 208 right now keep grinding out the levels friends

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Anon has hope | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/10/21(Wed)20:14:08 No.62270735 a girl in my Spanish zoom class dm'd me saying nice job when I got a question right today. Is there hope? 21 KB JPG 2 Replies /1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 02/10/21(Wed)20:15:21 No.62270750 >>62270735 (OP) # >He's mistaking a nicety for affection again 8 KB PNG
: Anonymous 02/10/21(Wed)20:14:08 No.62270735 a girl in my Spanish zoom class dm'd me saying nice job when I got a question right today. Is there hope? 21 KB JPG 2 Replies /1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 02/10/21(Wed)20:15:21 No.62270750 >>62270735 (OP) # >He's mistaking a nicety for affection again 8 KB PNG

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Anon is Christian | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/09/21 (Tue)19:28:06 No.27883609 >Gave birth to himself to kill himself as a sacrifice himself in order to appease himself so that he would no longer have to throw us into a fiery pit for all eternity because he made us in a way that was not up to his own very high standard 31 KB JPG Thanks? 94 Replies / 6 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 03/09/21 (Tue)19:28:06 No.27883609 >Gave birth to himself to kill himself as a sacrifice himself in order to appease himself so that he would no longer have to throw us into a fiery pit for all eternity because he made us in a way that was not up to his own very high standard 31 KB JPG Thanks? 94 Replies / 6 Images View Thread

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Anon has a creative use for his pocket watch | /r/Greentext

No.860727197 5 minutes ago 1928373482.jpg JPG 89.5 KiB 1300x975 >be me >volunteer work in an office >got sent there by the welfare bucks people >people keep interrupting me with useless information >annoying >next day bring in a stopwatch >when someone walks up to me click start >make sure the time is visible to them as they are talking >create two spreadsheets >longest talker >most frequent talker >at the end of my two weeks i print them off for the boss of the office >few days later he emails me saying how thankful he is for my creative work >offers me a job to work there full time >reply telling him i'd rather kill myself than spend any more time around those people >he calls the police to check up on me for suicidal thoughts >police man and police lady turn up at my door >get my stopwatch out my pocket after they start talking >7 minutes for the man >21 minutes for the lady >decided not to email a spreadsheet to the police station
No.860727197 5 minutes ago 1928373482.jpg JPG 89.5 KiB 1300x975 >be me >volunteer work in an office >got sent there by the welfare bucks people >people keep interrupting me with useless information >annoying >next day bring in a stopwatch >when someone walks up to me click start >make sure the time is visible to them as they are talking >create two spreadsheets >longest talker >most frequent talker >at the end of my two weeks i print them off for the boss of the office >few days later he emails me saying how thankful he is for my creative work >offers me a job to work there full time >reply telling him i'd rather kill myself than spend any more time around those people >he calls the police to check up on me for suicidal thoughts >police man and police lady turn up at my door >get my stopwatch out my pocket after they start talking >7 minutes for the man >21 minutes for the lady >decided not to email a spreadsheet to the police station

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Anon has a big brain moment | /r/Greentext

NEAT 1. #103618555 10/17/18, 5:00 PM >mfw I realize all of Spider-Man's enemies are modeled after the spider's natural predators 9 REPLIES 2 #103618579 10/17/18 5:01 PM >>103618555 OP How is an octopus a natural predator for spiders? 2 REPLIES 3 #103618601 10/17/18 5:02 PM >>103618555 OP Rhino, alien symbiote, electricity, etc.... seems legit. 2 REPLIES 4 #103618607 10/17/18 5:03 PM >>103618555 OP Ah yes, the greatest of the natural predators, the goblin.
NEAT 1. #103618555 10/17/18, 5:00 PM >mfw I realize all of Spider-Man's enemies are modeled after the spider's natural predators 9 REPLIES 2 #103618579 10/17/18 5:01 PM >>103618555 OP How is an octopus a natural predator for spiders? 2 REPLIES 3 #103618601 10/17/18 5:02 PM >>103618555 OP Rhino, alien symbiote, electricity, etc.... seems legit. 2 REPLIES 4 #103618607 10/17/18 5:03 PM >>103618555 OP Ah yes, the greatest of the natural predators, the goblin.

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Anon has a good boss | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous feels good man 04/28/19(Sun)01:11:46 No.52153310 >be me >been working at bbq joint for 3 years >boss is like a dad but cooler, we drink/smoke together >song from his favorite 91 KB JPG band is playing "oooh do you know who this is anon?" >answer instantly with correct answer "aaayyyyyee thats my boy" >mfw it feels good to have someone proud of me thanks boss 6 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous feels good man 04/28/19(Sun)01:11:46 No.52153310 >be me >been working at bbq joint for 3 years >boss is like a dad but cooler, we drink/smoke together >song from his favorite 91 KB JPG band is playing "oooh do you know who this is anon?" >answer instantly with correct answer "aaayyyyyee thats my boy" >mfw it feels good to have someone proud of me thanks boss 6 Replies View Thread

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Anon gets drunk with his gf | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/08/21 (Mon)06:44:33 No.62231753 >>62230411 # >manage to get a gf at 23 >move in together >things are really looking good for me >two years go by >seriously think of marrying this girl in the near future sreaming begina agnin 57 KB JPG >one day get drunk at home with her >she says she's been fi ing her coworker who she introduced me to and who i thought of as a decent enough guy >figure she's just drunk and making stuff up >go through her phone just in case >mfw she's been sexting and exchanging nudes with him for about 10 months >leave the apartment while she's ranting about how good at bed her coworker is >she's moves in with him a month after Anyway, that's how i came back here, i don't think i'll be leaving again soon...
: Anonymous 02/08/21 (Mon)06:44:33 No.62231753 >>62230411 # >manage to get a gf at 23 >move in together >things are really looking good for me >two years go by >seriously think of marrying this girl in the near future sreaming begina agnin 57 KB JPG >one day get drunk at home with her >she says she's been fi ing her coworker who she introduced me to and who i thought of as a decent enough guy >figure she's just drunk and making stuff up >go through her phone just in case >mfw she's been sexting and exchanging nudes with him for about 10 months >leave the apartment while she's ranting about how good at bed her coworker is >she's moves in with him a month after Anyway, that's how i came back here, i don't think i'll be leaving again soon...

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Anon goes to college | /r/Greentext

>be me, 19 >in college >arrive at college before class started, needed to s--- before first class >get to the bathroom and open the door >prof is in there s-------, door wide open >w--.jpg >stare at each other for a few secs 48 KB JPG >he holds his hand out to close the door >i shake his hand
>be me, 19 >in college >arrive at college before class started, needed to s--- before first class >get to the bathroom and open the door >prof is in there s-------, door wide open >w--.jpg >stare at each other for a few secs 48 KB JPG >he holds his hand out to close the door >i shake his hand

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Anon has a cool dad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/14/20(Mon)12:51:30 No.842311163 >be me >about 12 or 13 >my dad bought me a ps2 >my dad would take me every other week to buy a new game >played a lot of cool games >we played this game called 46 KB JPG Baldur's Gate: Dark Alliance >it had a co-op mode so we'd play it together a lot >l'd always pick the human and he'd be the dwarf >we almost 100% it and even unlocked the secret 4th character Thanks dad
: Anonymous 12/14/20(Mon)12:51:30 No.842311163 >be me >about 12 or 13 >my dad bought me a ps2 >my dad would take me every other week to buy a new game >played a lot of cool games >we played this game called 46 KB JPG Baldur's Gate: Dark Alliance >it had a co-op mode so we'd play it together a lot >l'd always pick the human and he'd be the dwarf >we almost 100% it and even unlocked the secret 4th character Thanks dad

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