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anon loves his girlfriend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/31/21(Sat)12:12:47 No.860054704 >be me >have gf >slap her ass all the time >do it whenever shes walking up the stairs, doing the dishes, or even when she's laying with me >she f------ hates it lol 26 KB JPG >constantly tells me to stop and that she doesn't want me to do it anymore >okayfine.png >I stop doing it for ONE day and she starts asking what's wrong, wants to have sex with me constantly and MAKES me slap her ass I love my girlfriend bro I think she's the one
: Anonymous 07/31/21(Sat)12:12:47 No.860054704 >be me >have gf >slap her ass all the time >do it whenever shes walking up the stairs, doing the dishes, or even when she's laying with me >she f------ hates it lol 26 KB JPG >constantly tells me to stop and that she doesn't want me to do it anymore >okayfine.png >I stop doing it for ONE day and she starts asking what's wrong, wants to have sex with me constantly and MAKES me slap her ass I love my girlfriend bro I think she's the one

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Anon is American | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/04/21(Fri)07:19:14 No.856048371 >be american >get genitally mutilated >your sister births a mulatto >your mum overdoses on sleeping pills >your dad gets a heart attack from eating too much McWendy'sln-N- 1.64 MB JPG OutBellHut >get shot 4 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 06/04/21(Fri)07:19:14 No.856048371 >be american >get genitally mutilated >your sister births a mulatto >your mum overdoses on sleeping pills >your dad gets a heart attack from eating too much McWendy'sln-N- 1.64 MB JPG OutBellHut >get shot 4 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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There's always a bigger fish | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/31/21(Sat)00:14:46 No.64775604 >403 IQ >Tested my skull measurement again and 403 IQ popped up for the third time, so that's the real value tya ty ntn 41 >Stood away from the camera at a distance and centered my head with the lens so there's no 184 KB JPG distortion I think the human maximum IQ is 423-460. Anything higher than that and there's no reproduction. 9 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 07/31/21(Sat)00:33:19 No.64775749 >>64775761 # >>64775861 # : Anonymous 07/31/21(Sat)00:33:48 No.64775753 : Anonymous 07/31/21(Sat)00:34:49 No.64775761 : Anonymous 07/31/21(Sat)00:50:36 No.64775861 : Anonymous 07/31/21(Sat)01:09:10 No.64776032 1626613300544.png 110 KВ PNG >>64775604 (OP) # I just got a 414, triple checked. sorry OP picrel. its you
: Anonymous 07/31/21(Sat)00:14:46 No.64775604 >403 IQ >Tested my skull measurement again and 403 IQ popped up for the third time, so that's the real value tya ty ntn 41 >Stood away from the camera at a distance and centered my head with the lens so there's no 184 KB JPG distortion I think the human maximum IQ is 423-460. Anything higher than that and there's no reproduction. 9 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 07/31/21(Sat)00:33:19 No.64775749 >>64775761 # >>64775861 # : Anonymous 07/31/21(Sat)00:33:48 No.64775753 : Anonymous 07/31/21(Sat)00:34:49 No.64775761 : Anonymous 07/31/21(Sat)00:50:36 No.64775861 : Anonymous 07/31/21(Sat)01:09:10 No.64776032 1626613300544.png 110 KВ PNG >>64775604 (OP) # I just got a 414, triple checked. sorry OP picrel. its you

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The greatest greentext | /r/Greentext

Anonymous No.627025189 16 minutes ago Got a story for ya. I'm not good at writing so bear with me. Ceci n'est pas une pen >A girl I knew in school was a total attention w----. >Never arrived to class on time and always made sure to make a huge fuss about it. >Didn't talk to her all that much but I did have a few conversations with her >Her wrists had cuts and burns all over them, she wore t shirts so she never hid them >l asked her why she was hurting herself like that >She said "No one loves me and my life is painful" etc etc >"No one loves you?" What about your parents or your boyfriend? >Answer she gave me was something like "They don't really love me" or some s--- >Made a point not to interact with her too much after that, because she's an attention w---- >End of the school year she came up to me and asked me if I wanted to go somewhere with her that Sunday >l'm not good with these situations so I couldn't say no even though I didn't like her >Sunday came and we went to the top of one of those tower car parks >Just as we got to the top she told me that she wanted me to be here as a witness to her suicide >Oh s---, I thought, she was going to jump and she was going to force me to watch >Had I known she was going to do this s--- I would never have gone with her >Not watching unless you do a flip, I said that to try and shock her into realizing this was stupid >Complete shock was written all over her face. She had thought l'd try to stop her >Ehh?! A-aren't you going to try to stop me? >Nah, go ahead. If you really wanted to live you'd stop yourself. >After a while she got down off the edge She walked up to me afterwards and tried to hug me with tears in her eyes but I told her I loved someone else. She asked me who and I told her to read the first letter of every line. 3 replies
Anonymous No.627025189 16 minutes ago Got a story for ya. I'm not good at writing so bear with me. Ceci n'est pas une pen >A girl I knew in school was a total attention w----. >Never arrived to class on time and always made sure to make a huge fuss about it. >Didn't talk to her all that much but I did have a few conversations with her >Her wrists had cuts and burns all over them, she wore t shirts so she never hid them >l asked her why she was hurting herself like that >She said "No one loves me and my life is painful" etc etc >"No one loves you?" What about your parents or your boyfriend? >Answer she gave me was something like "They don't really love me" or some s--- >Made a point not to interact with her too much after that, because she's an attention w---- >End of the school year she came up to me and asked me if I wanted to go somewhere with her that Sunday >l'm not good with these situations so I couldn't say no even though I didn't like her >Sunday came and we went to the top of one of those tower car parks >Just as we got to the top she told me that she wanted me to be here as a witness to her suicide >Oh s---, I thought, she was going to jump and she was going to force me to watch >Had I known she was going to do this s--- I would never have gone with her >Not watching unless you do a flip, I said that to try and shock her into realizing this was stupid >Complete shock was written all over her face. She had thought l'd try to stop her >Ehh?! A-aren't you going to try to stop me? >Nah, go ahead. If you really wanted to live you'd stop yourself. >After a while she got down off the edge She walked up to me afterwards and tried to hug me with tears in her eyes but I told her I loved someone else. She asked me who and I told her to read the first letter of every line. 3 replies

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Something fishy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/31/21(Sat)11:44:59 No.64780885 >order a pizza with anchovies because I want to try something new >the entire pizza tastes like unwashed p---- what a horrible mistake I've made 12 KB JPG
: Anonymous 07/31/21(Sat)11:44:59 No.64780885 >order a pizza with anchovies because I want to try something new >the entire pizza tastes like unwashed p---- what a horrible mistake I've made 12 KB JPG

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Anon masturbates | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/19/21(Sat)09:31:41 No.64217580 08/11/2011 F2DT7KGGR6XJJFT.jpg 14 KB JPG >put a sock ball between your balls and ass and press it >leave it there while masturbating >have the best orgasm of your life
: Anonymous 06/19/21(Sat)09:31:41 No.64217580 08/11/2011 F2DT7KGGR6XJJFT.jpg 14 KB JPG >put a sock ball between your balls and ass and press it >leave it there while masturbating >have the best orgasm of your life

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Paranormal inactivity | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/31/21(Sat)07:37:09 No.64778808 >GHOSTS ARE NOT F------ REAL OTHERWISE WE'D HAVE SCIENTIFIC PROOF 169 КВ PNG : Anonymous 07/31/21(Sat)07:38:42 No.64778818 >>64778808 (OP)# >billions and billions of dead people >not even one tiny bit of evidence that ghosts exist >best we have is security cam footage of a door opening on its own : Anonymous 07/31/21(Sat)09:47:04 No.64779657 >Ghosts don't like the wild, they feel more comfortable indoors for some reason >they can fly anywhere they want but they stay within the boundaries of the wooden walls of a house 1.23 MB GIF >humans have been living and dying since 200,000 BC but somehow every ghost is dressed in Victorian era clothing >not one neolithic ghost in a burlap tunic ever seen >>64779679 #
: Anonymous 07/31/21(Sat)07:37:09 No.64778808 >GHOSTS ARE NOT F------ REAL OTHERWISE WE'D HAVE SCIENTIFIC PROOF 169 КВ PNG : Anonymous 07/31/21(Sat)07:38:42 No.64778818 >>64778808 (OP)# >billions and billions of dead people >not even one tiny bit of evidence that ghosts exist >best we have is security cam footage of a door opening on its own : Anonymous 07/31/21(Sat)09:47:04 No.64779657 >Ghosts don't like the wild, they feel more comfortable indoors for some reason >they can fly anywhere they want but they stay within the boundaries of the wooden walls of a house 1.23 MB GIF >humans have been living and dying since 200,000 BC but somehow every ghost is dressed in Victorian era clothing >not one neolithic ghost in a burlap tunic ever seen >>64779679 #

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Anon’s grandpa did a little trolling | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Most kek thing your grandparen(...) 05/21/21(Fri)05:51:34 No.63764689 What's the most kek thing your grandparents have ever done? >be me >on vacation in France with family >dad grandpa and I all go out to eat at fancy restaurant 9 KB PNG >we can hear the staff belittling us for being tourists >grandpa leans into my ear and tells me to play along >slowly starts speaking in a more southern accent as the meal goes on >by the time the check comes he is completely unintelligible from the amount of hick speak coming out of his mouth >end of the meal comes >he tucks the table cloth into his pants and gets up and leave >naturally all the plates and glasses break >everyone turns and looks >grandpa runs out of the f------ restaurant babbling like a loon >fly back to America before we get in legal trouble Man, I love your grandpa. Wish you were still here.
: Anonymous Most kek thing your grandparen(...) 05/21/21(Fri)05:51:34 No.63764689 What's the most kek thing your grandparents have ever done? >be me >on vacation in France with family >dad grandpa and I all go out to eat at fancy restaurant 9 KB PNG >we can hear the staff belittling us for being tourists >grandpa leans into my ear and tells me to play along >slowly starts speaking in a more southern accent as the meal goes on >by the time the check comes he is completely unintelligible from the amount of hick speak coming out of his mouth >end of the meal comes >he tucks the table cloth into his pants and gets up and leave >naturally all the plates and glasses break >everyone turns and looks >grandpa runs out of the f------ restaurant babbling like a loon >fly back to America before we get in legal trouble Man, I love your grandpa. Wish you were still here.

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anon is wanted | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/24/21(Sat)00:01:29 No.859536655 >post on 4chan >people actually respond to my b------- >mfw 101 KB JPG 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 07/24/21(Sat)00:02:08 No.859536677 >>859536655 (OP) # F--- off
: Anonymous 07/24/21(Sat)00:01:29 No.859536655 >post on 4chan >people actually respond to my b------- >mfw 101 KB JPG 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 07/24/21(Sat)00:02:08 No.859536677 >>859536655 (OP) # F--- off

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Virtual Boy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/31/21(Sat)08:36:11 No.64779162 >Get a fun job at pizza place >Girl i've been friends with for years is there, we have tons of fun >We relate a lot, like similar video games and shows >S--- she's even pretty attractive in my opinion >Have a great time 205 KB JPG >"Yeah i'm matching pfp with my bf" >Oh okay.png >"We met on vr chat"
: Anonymous 07/31/21(Sat)08:36:11 No.64779162 >Get a fun job at pizza place >Girl i've been friends with for years is there, we have tons of fun >We relate a lot, like similar video games and shows >S--- she's even pretty attractive in my opinion >Have a great time 205 KB JPG >"Yeah i'm matching pfp with my bf" >Oh okay.png >"We met on vr chat"

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Anon is a gifted kid. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/31/21(Sat)08:54:36 No.64775233 >>64770824 (OP) >gifted kid >get put in class with other smart kids >stupidest of the group it was there that I should have realized it was a lie
Anonymous 07/31/21(Sat)08:54:36 No.64775233 >>64770824 (OP) >gifted kid >get put in class with other smart kids >stupidest of the group it was there that I should have realized it was a lie

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Arngeir tries his best | /r/Greentext

>devote my entire life to the voice >have to live in some boring ass temple on the top of cold as s--- mountain >live off of salted fish >no running water, everyone smells like s--- >nobody else can talk >f------ b------- >dozens of years pass >the f------ dragonborn comes to save the world >comes into the monastery and immediatley steals all of our potions and food >pickpockets all my s--- >i try my best to teach him the ways of the voice >practices his thu'um on my priceless antique vases >blasts me off the mountain every time i go outside >i'm cursed with undeath, and brake many bones on the way down >half to walk my 500 year old ass back up the 7000 steps with broken legs >mfw
>devote my entire life to the voice >have to live in some boring ass temple on the top of cold as s--- mountain >live off of salted fish >no running water, everyone smells like s--- >nobody else can talk >f------ b------- >dozens of years pass >the f------ dragonborn comes to save the world >comes into the monastery and immediatley steals all of our potions and food >pickpockets all my s--- >i try my best to teach him the ways of the voice >practices his thu'um on my priceless antique vases >blasts me off the mountain every time i go outside >i'm cursed with undeath, and brake many bones on the way down >half to walk my 500 year old ass back up the 7000 steps with broken legs >mfw

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Anon hits back at his friend | /r/Greentext

File: laughingpepe.jpg (8 KB, 179x282) Anonymous 07/31/21(Sat)15:41:45 No.860030547 >My African American friend calls me a street s------ because I'm from India >So, I call him a n----- >He gets p----- off >I then tell him that not all Indians are street s-------, but all blacks are n------ >Micdrop.exe
File: laughingpepe.jpg (8 KB, 179x282) Anonymous 07/31/21(Sat)15:41:45 No.860030547 >My African American friend calls me a street s------ because I'm from India >So, I call him a n----- >He gets p----- off >I then tell him that not all Indians are street s-------, but all blacks are n------ >Micdrop.exe

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Anon has a few stories | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Most embarrassing gun to be ki(...) 07/30/21(Fri)23:11:55 No.50102514 I'm a cop, I've seen some things and I'm wondering which of these is a more embarrassing way to die >three white guys hold up a gas station >two in the store with a shotgun and a glock 42 KB JPG >random gay guy pulls out .22 revolver and shoots shotgun guy right in the head from about 3ft away >yes he was gay, effeminate, English accent despite being American >shoots the glock guy twice in the chest >getaway driver runs in with another glock >gets blasted away with 22LR, 3/4 shots land >guy is out of ammo, had 7/8 chambers loaded because he's scared of misfires >four Black gang members with Draco AK pistols break into an apartment >korean 35 year old woman unleads a highpoint 9mm >two dead, two in hospital >3 hispanic gangbangers break into house >all armed with gold plated 1911s with their gang logo on it >two end up dead from a judge taurus being shot from the top of the stairs >guy with Mac-10 and bullet proof vest blasting at cops >multiple cops poke out and empty mags at the guy without hitting him because he's behind a concrete barrier and wearing body armor >older detective happens to be there >tell him to stay back, he just has a .38 special revolver, the smallest gun he can legally carry as detectives legally must carry a gun, even though they never use them >he pokes over the car, aims and BANG >silence >headshot, right into the guys left eye >"you know, those things on top of the gun are for aiming, he wasn't using them either" the sheer number of people shot with .22 is amazing. I've always believed in .45 or .357 magnum revolvers but over the last few years I've started thinking it's overkill. it's more survivable than a larger caliber but it still stops people. 25 Replies /1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous Most embarrassing gun to be ki(...) 07/30/21(Fri)23:11:55 No.50102514 I'm a cop, I've seen some things and I'm wondering which of these is a more embarrassing way to die >three white guys hold up a gas station >two in the store with a shotgun and a glock 42 KB JPG >random gay guy pulls out .22 revolver and shoots shotgun guy right in the head from about 3ft away >yes he was gay, effeminate, English accent despite being American >shoots the glock guy twice in the chest >getaway driver runs in with another glock >gets blasted away with 22LR, 3/4 shots land >guy is out of ammo, had 7/8 chambers loaded because he's scared of misfires >four Black gang members with Draco AK pistols break into an apartment >korean 35 year old woman unleads a highpoint 9mm >two dead, two in hospital >3 hispanic gangbangers break into house >all armed with gold plated 1911s with their gang logo on it >two end up dead from a judge taurus being shot from the top of the stairs >guy with Mac-10 and bullet proof vest blasting at cops >multiple cops poke out and empty mags at the guy without hitting him because he's behind a concrete barrier and wearing body armor >older detective happens to be there >tell him to stay back, he just has a .38 special revolver, the smallest gun he can legally carry as detectives legally must carry a gun, even though they never use them >he pokes over the car, aims and BANG >silence >headshot, right into the guys left eye >"you know, those things on top of the gun are for aiming, he wasn't using them either" the sheer number of people shot with .22 is amazing. I've always believed in .45 or .357 magnum revolvers but over the last few years I've started thinking it's overkill. it's more survivable than a larger caliber but it still stops people. 25 Replies /1 Image View Thread

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Belethors deal | /r/Greentext

File: char 58483 jpg (10 KB, 210x240) Anonymous 05/11/16(Wed)12:33: 10 No.683783111 >be me >average shopkeeper >good location and good business >new guy comes in, probably traveler >try to be nice to the new guy >Everythings for sale! >this guy looks kind of sketchy >he walks over my table to the counter >he does not speak or blink >i show him everything i own >my hands tremble as i feel fear >he lays down 10 bloody armor pelts >where did he get these >i slowly pay for the items >he sells me out for every gold piece >he walks to the door without a word >walks directly through my fire pit >he doesnt even flinch >do come back i say >i hope he never comes back >my shop is filled with bloody armor >i lost all of my gold >traveler doesnt come back for days > one morning i go to my shop >he is standing outside, motionless >how long has he been there >i walk up to him >he is standing outside the door >he does not blink or move >i am too scared to ask him to move >he doesnt move a muscle >i attempt to access the door >i must squeeze around him >im careful not to touch him >i slowly open the front door >i am finally in >my heart is pounding >i wonder how long he will stay >hours pass by before the door opens >mfw it comes in >he says nothing, i feel true fear >he presents 15 dragon bones >how is this possible >i give him every last cent >i no longer have a retirement fund >fear strikes me as he leaves silently >do come back i say again >loudsweating.jpeg >i hope he never comes back >who is this demon
File: char 58483 jpg (10 KB, 210x240) Anonymous 05/11/16(Wed)12:33: 10 No.683783111 >be me >average shopkeeper >good location and good business >new guy comes in, probably traveler >try to be nice to the new guy >Everythings for sale! >this guy looks kind of sketchy >he walks over my table to the counter >he does not speak or blink >i show him everything i own >my hands tremble as i feel fear >he lays down 10 bloody armor pelts >where did he get these >i slowly pay for the items >he sells me out for every gold piece >he walks to the door without a word >walks directly through my fire pit >he doesnt even flinch >do come back i say >i hope he never comes back >my shop is filled with bloody armor >i lost all of my gold >traveler doesnt come back for days > one morning i go to my shop >he is standing outside, motionless >how long has he been there >i walk up to him >he is standing outside the door >he does not blink or move >i am too scared to ask him to move >he doesnt move a muscle >i attempt to access the door >i must squeeze around him >im careful not to touch him >i slowly open the front door >i am finally in >my heart is pounding >i wonder how long he will stay >hours pass by before the door opens >mfw it comes in >he says nothing, i feel true fear >he presents 15 dragon bones >how is this possible >i give him every last cent >i no longer have a retirement fund >fear strikes me as he leaves silently >do come back i say again >loudsweating.jpeg >i hope he never comes back >who is this demon

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Anon makes it to the other side | /r/Greentext

>be me, insignificant soldier in the army >go to war with a bunch of blacks >f--- this, run away as fast as I can >manage to dodge men of God trying to smite me and f------ wartowers >get to the other side unscathed by some miracle after seeing numerous footsoldiers die in front of me >king calls me back, puts me in a dress and puts a crown on my head >tells me l'm his wife now
>be me, insignificant soldier in the army >go to war with a bunch of blacks >f--- this, run away as fast as I can >manage to dodge men of God trying to smite me and f------ wartowers >get to the other side unscathed by some miracle after seeing numerous footsoldiers die in front of me >king calls me back, puts me in a dress and puts a crown on my head >tells me l'm his wife now

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Anon has a hobby | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/30/21(Fri)23:21:58 No.860021179 >J------- 12 times in less than 24 hours THIS IS THE LIKE THE 6TH DAY IN A ROW HOW THE F--- DO I STOP 27 KB JPG : Anonymous 07/30/21(Fri)23:22:36 No.860021211 >>860021179 (OP) # My d--- is raw after 3, how do you pull that off?
: Anonymous 07/30/21(Fri)23:21:58 No.860021179 >J------- 12 times in less than 24 hours THIS IS THE LIKE THE 6TH DAY IN A ROW HOW THE F--- DO I STOP 27 KB JPG : Anonymous 07/30/21(Fri)23:22:36 No.860021211 >>860021179 (OP) # My d--- is raw after 3, how do you pull that off?

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Advancement in vaccine technology | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/24/21 (Thu)22:09:26 No.857600977 >be Moderna >never produce a product since founding >goal was to produce a vaccine to cure cancer >COVID hapn >Moderna designed vaccine in 2 days >never before tested mRNA vaccine 30 KB JPG >Moderna is protected against lawsuits for potential damages And you took it. Lol! View Thread 2.0k 248 A Share +] Award TOP COMMENTS V BrocEILider 12h O O A S 7 Awards God damn right I took it. And what a leap forward in vaccine technology. Seems the covid mRNA vaccines are so advanced that they're causing autism specifically in the people who don't take them. 6 Reply 1.1k +
: Anonymous 06/24/21 (Thu)22:09:26 No.857600977 >be Moderna >never produce a product since founding >goal was to produce a vaccine to cure cancer >COVID hapn >Moderna designed vaccine in 2 days >never before tested mRNA vaccine 30 KB JPG >Moderna is protected against lawsuits for potential damages And you took it. Lol! View Thread 2.0k 248 A Share +] Award TOP COMMENTS V BrocEILider 12h O O A S 7 Awards God damn right I took it. And what a leap forward in vaccine technology. Seems the covid mRNA vaccines are so advanced that they're causing autism specifically in the people who don't take them. 6 Reply 1.1k +

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Anon is the president | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/03/21(Sat)14:48:10 No.11479694 >becomes 15th president of the United States >the union starts to fall apart and the south succeeds under him >does nothing >refuses to elaborate 22 KB JPG >leaves
: Anonymous 07/03/21(Sat)14:48:10 No.11479694 >becomes 15th president of the United States >the union starts to fall apart and the south succeeds under him >does nothing >refuses to elaborate 22 KB JPG >leaves

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Missed the chance to live rent free | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/29/21(Thu)12:01:02 No.154238346 >Peter, you're 5 minutes late to our date. I'm gonna go f--- some dudes now while you think about your behavior Name a worse capeshit love interest. 127 KB JPG : Anonymous 07/29/21(Thu)12:27:24 No.154238914 >>154238346 (OP)_# >landlord was literally trying to set peter up with his daughter >still simps for mary jane he deserves whatever bad things happened desu 59 KB JPG >>154238974 # >>154239096 # >>154239254 # >>154239631 # >>154240264 # >>154241451 # >>154241657 # >>154241866 # >>154243008 # >>154243882 # >>154250514 # >>154251754 #
: Anonymous 07/29/21(Thu)12:01:02 No.154238346 >Peter, you're 5 minutes late to our date. I'm gonna go f--- some dudes now while you think about your behavior Name a worse capeshit love interest. 127 KB JPG : Anonymous 07/29/21(Thu)12:27:24 No.154238914 >>154238346 (OP)_# >landlord was literally trying to set peter up with his daughter >still simps for mary jane he deserves whatever bad things happened desu 59 KB JPG >>154238974 # >>154239096 # >>154239254 # >>154239631 # >>154240264 # >>154241451 # >>154241657 # >>154241866 # >>154243008 # >>154243882 # >>154250514 # >>154251754 #

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