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Anon wants a Spotify student discount | /r/Greentext

U Anonymous 07/25/21(Sun)16:15:09 No.104953433 >want Spotify student discount >search for some random "UNIVERSITY CLASS OF 2022" facebook page >find random stacy with her birthday in her profile >use her name/birthday/uni to claim discount easy as pie i do this once a year
U Anonymous 07/25/21(Sun)16:15:09 No.104953433 >want Spotify student discount >search for some random "UNIVERSITY CLASS OF 2022" facebook page >find random stacy with her birthday in her profile >use her name/birthday/uni to claim discount easy as pie i do this once a year

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Anon is a proud Chinese citizen | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: H2PqNkyH 07/25/21(Sun)14:37:21 No.331452024 >be Chinese >wake up at 3am >breakfast: 5 packs of cigarettes and powdered elephant tusk for strong penis >get into car and drive off 679 KB WEBM >see elderly woman with her grandson on sidewalk >veer onto sidewalk to run them over >check rearview mirror >kid's still twitching >hit reverse and finish the job >get on highway >sit in 3 day traffic jam surviving on cigarettes and roadkill soup >arrive at shoe factory in time for my 18 hour shift >spend all day praising glorious leader Xi for wonderful life
: Anonymous (ID: H2PqNkyH 07/25/21(Sun)14:37:21 No.331452024 >be Chinese >wake up at 3am >breakfast: 5 packs of cigarettes and powdered elephant tusk for strong penis >get into car and drive off 679 KB WEBM >see elderly woman with her grandson on sidewalk >veer onto sidewalk to run them over >check rearview mirror >kid's still twitching >hit reverse and finish the job >get on highway >sit in 3 day traffic jam surviving on cigarettes and roadkill soup >arrive at shoe factory in time for my 18 hour shift >spend all day praising glorious leader Xi for wonderful life

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Anon’s brother gets a girlfriend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/25/21(Sun)22:45:58 No.859647910 >be me >brother gets girlfriend >becomes an absolute douchebag d------- 98 KB JPG driving me f------ insane h--------
: Anonymous 07/25/21(Sun)22:45:58 No.859647910 >be me >brother gets girlfriend >becomes an absolute douchebag d------- 98 KB JPG driving me f------ insane h--------

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Anon is a wagie | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/22/21(Thu)23:07:14 No.64672110 >Be me >Working at Burger King >l add an extra chicken nuggets to bags when they're for a kid's meal >Imagine the kid feeling so lucky he got an extra nugget >He wasn't actually lucky though, as I did that deliberately 12 KB JPG My devilish nature cannot be contained
: Anonymous 07/22/21(Thu)23:07:14 No.64672110 >Be me >Working at Burger King >l add an extra chicken nuggets to bags when they're for a kid's meal >Imagine the kid feeling so lucky he got an extra nugget >He wasn't actually lucky though, as I did that deliberately 12 KB JPG My devilish nature cannot be contained

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Anon does “Centirsm” | /r/Greentext

File: del.png (144 KB, 800x800) O Centirsm Anonymous (ID: KpiJom | 02/20/20(Thu)16:49:45 No.244596911 >be me, centrist >wake up in my bed in the center of the room >eat bland breakfast as not to upset anyone's palate >pick up some friends for lunch >at a 2 way intersection >one friend wants to go right for some food and the other wants to go left >centrism kicks in >go straight forward into building and crash car >wake up later in hospital >nurse says I should've broken my back, but luckily I am spineless >mfw it finally pays off to be a centrist
File: del.png (144 KB, 800x800) O Centirsm Anonymous (ID: KpiJom | 02/20/20(Thu)16:49:45 No.244596911 >be me, centrist >wake up in my bed in the center of the room >eat bland breakfast as not to upset anyone's palate >pick up some friends for lunch >at a 2 way intersection >one friend wants to go right for some food and the other wants to go left >centrism kicks in >go straight forward into building and crash car >wake up later in hospital >nurse says I should've broken my back, but luckily I am spineless >mfw it finally pays off to be a centrist

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Camp fever | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/25/21(Sun)08:50:31 No.64706166 >go to the same summer camp every year >there was a girl with that I was unbelievably in love with >every year we'd latch onto each other and do everything we could together >only time we didn't see each 486 KB JPG other was through circumstance of schedule, night, etc >never had sex but kissed and did perform manual and oral on each other >haven't seen her for five years >she found a way to get to me through family because I don't have any social media profiles >meeting up with her next weekend So uh, what do I say? I've kind of become a s------ since then.
: Anonymous 07/25/21(Sun)08:50:31 No.64706166 >go to the same summer camp every year >there was a girl with that I was unbelievably in love with >every year we'd latch onto each other and do everything we could together >only time we didn't see each 486 KB JPG other was through circumstance of schedule, night, etc >never had sex but kissed and did perform manual and oral on each other >haven't seen her for five years >she found a way to get to me through family because I don't have any social media profiles >meeting up with her next weekend So uh, what do I say? I've kind of become a s------ since then.

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Father of the groom | /r/Greentext

U Anonymous 07/24/21(Sat)23:27:05 No.62730570 >>62731454 >>62732944 >>62733242 File: 773F1974-789B-4A2A-B5F0-D(...).jpg (25 KB, 250x293) >>62715432 (OP)# >Making out with girl in party >we're kinda making small talk between kisses >she says "wanna know why I think you're hot?" >l say yea sure why not >because you look like my dad when he was younger >mfw
U Anonymous 07/24/21(Sat)23:27:05 No.62730570 >>62731454 >>62732944 >>62733242 File: 773F1974-789B-4A2A-B5F0-D(...).jpg (25 KB, 250x293) >>62715432 (OP)# >Making out with girl in party >we're kinda making small talk between kisses >she says "wanna know why I think you're hot?" >l say yea sure why not >because you look like my dad when he was younger >mfw

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Anon has a headache | /r/Greentext

Has anyone else ever had m----------- almost ruined for them? >Be me >23 years old >Have a pretty gnarly headache >f--- it, decide to fap anyways 1.58 MB JPG | >as soon as I c--, a wave of pain pulsates over my head >can't help but think of pots and pans being thrown down the stairs >now whenever I c-- I think about pots and pans clanging together loudly >mfw
Has anyone else ever had m----------- almost ruined for them? >Be me >23 years old >Have a pretty gnarly headache >f--- it, decide to fap anyways 1.58 MB JPG | >as soon as I c--, a wave of pain pulsates over my head >can't help but think of pots and pans being thrown down the stairs >now whenever I c-- I think about pots and pans clanging together loudly >mfw

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The flow of time itself is convoluted | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Guys am I broken? 07/25/21(Sun)06:52:50 No.64705304 >go outside >McDonalds nugget time >see the spitting image of the basedjak there >I say hey did you start working here cause of the Schezwan 69 KB JPG sauce? >lts not gonna come back no matter how often you post on Reddit >he says dude what? Anyway here are you nuggets >angry at his dismal of me >l say you know what I mean >like the funny meme from a bit ago >dude that was 5 years ago Was 2016 really 5 f------ years ago? No way right? I know how f------ long a year is and thats too short. Are years being sped up to deny us of our youth and get us to wage slave faster? 10 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 07/25/21(Sun)07:14:38 No.64705483 >>64705304 (OP) # >be OP >10 years from now >see an amputee with no arms >look him straight in the eyes >"amogus." >>64705495 #
: Anonymous Guys am I broken? 07/25/21(Sun)06:52:50 No.64705304 >go outside >McDonalds nugget time >see the spitting image of the basedjak there >I say hey did you start working here cause of the Schezwan 69 KB JPG sauce? >lts not gonna come back no matter how often you post on Reddit >he says dude what? Anyway here are you nuggets >angry at his dismal of me >l say you know what I mean >like the funny meme from a bit ago >dude that was 5 years ago Was 2016 really 5 f------ years ago? No way right? I know how f------ long a year is and thats too short. Are years being sped up to deny us of our youth and get us to wage slave faster? 10 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 07/25/21(Sun)07:14:38 No.64705483 >>64705304 (OP) # >be OP >10 years from now >see an amputee with no arms >look him straight in the eyes >"amogus." >>64705495 #

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Anon uses Tinder. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/25/21(Sun)05:31:04 No.64704762 >quit 4chan and other stupid s--- >try to be outgoing 24/7 >get zero matches on tinder >not fat, have hair, clear skin >bought tinder plus when I was drunk >sat there swiping for hours and never one match 10 KB JPG >managed to talk to some girls most seemed like w----- and too far away to do anything 7 Replies / 1 Image View Thread Anonymous 07/25/21(Sun)05:44:05 No.64704874 >>64704762 (OP) Do you have any friends with Tinder success? Ask them to look over your profile Anonymous 07/25/21(Sun)05:53:03 No.64704928 >>64704771 My face is perfectly symmetrical and I look 14 Anonymous 07/25/21(Sun)05:55:36 No.64704945 >>64704928 >and I look 14 Have you considered that is your problem?
Anonymous 07/25/21(Sun)05:31:04 No.64704762 >quit 4chan and other stupid s--- >try to be outgoing 24/7 >get zero matches on tinder >not fat, have hair, clear skin >bought tinder plus when I was drunk >sat there swiping for hours and never one match 10 KB JPG >managed to talk to some girls most seemed like w----- and too far away to do anything 7 Replies / 1 Image View Thread Anonymous 07/25/21(Sun)05:44:05 No.64704874 >>64704762 (OP) Do you have any friends with Tinder success? Ask them to look over your profile Anonymous 07/25/21(Sun)05:53:03 No.64704928 >>64704771 My face is perfectly symmetrical and I look 14 Anonymous 07/25/21(Sun)05:55:36 No.64704945 >>64704928 >and I look 14 Have you considered that is your problem?

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Anon is a female Twitch streamer. | /r/Greentext

07/25/21(Sun)06:06:07 No.64705000 Anonymous Being a woman is great Hey, I'm a twitch tittystreamer you definitely would have heard of, and honestly my life is so much better than all of yours >Start stream >Thousands of losers like you all tune in to watch 112 KB JPG >ldiots immediately start throwing bits, donating and subscribing literally just because they can see the tiniest bit of my cleavage >Spend 3 hours doing nothing but hanging out in my room, very occasionally answering chat >Pretend I need to get something so I can bend over >Donations skyrocket >"Okay that's it for today guys byeeeeee" >Collect a MINIMUM of $8k for doing this >Go through to the next room and give my boyfriend a b------ so he orders us food and buys us some weed >Do it all again the next day How does it feel knowing I've had more success in me early twenties than you'll have in your entire life literally just because I have decently sized t---? Lol
07/25/21(Sun)06:06:07 No.64705000 Anonymous Being a woman is great Hey, I'm a twitch tittystreamer you definitely would have heard of, and honestly my life is so much better than all of yours >Start stream >Thousands of losers like you all tune in to watch 112 KB JPG >ldiots immediately start throwing bits, donating and subscribing literally just because they can see the tiniest bit of my cleavage >Spend 3 hours doing nothing but hanging out in my room, very occasionally answering chat >Pretend I need to get something so I can bend over >Donations skyrocket >"Okay that's it for today guys byeeeeee" >Collect a MINIMUM of $8k for doing this >Go through to the next room and give my boyfriend a b------ so he orders us food and buys us some weed >Do it all again the next day How does it feel knowing I've had more success in me early twenties than you'll have in your entire life literally just because I have decently sized t---? Lol

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Anon gets new shoes | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/28/20(Mon)07:10:26 No.61590654 >get rejected by my crush >she tells me should try walking in her shoes >buy shoes similar to hers >everyone starts calling me f----- 63 KB JPG 4 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 12/28/20(Mon)07:10:26 No.61590654 >get rejected by my crush >she tells me should try walking in her shoes >buy shoes similar to hers >everyone starts calling me f----- 63 KB JPG 4 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon has a project | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/11/21(Mon)22:51:24 No.844617213 >be me >6th grade >spent a week working with a group for a project >presentation day comes >watching all the other kids present from back of the class >fake applause when they're 55 KB JPG done >going good so far >middle of one group's powerpoint >suddenly get a r----------- >hide it under the table hoping no one notices >last group finishes >teacher calls my group to go up >boner hasn't gone away >S--- >get up from my seat as slowly as possible >dreading the walk of shame to the front of the class >trying to hold my d--- down with my hands in my pockets >only making it more noticable >teacher looks at me >sees my pain >"anon, why don't you come up to my computer and change the slides" >THANK F------ GOD >quickly shuffle over to the computer >hide d--- under desk >only the teacher knows >mfw I realize the teacher saved me from hanging myself that night
: Anonymous 01/11/21(Mon)22:51:24 No.844617213 >be me >6th grade >spent a week working with a group for a project >presentation day comes >watching all the other kids present from back of the class >fake applause when they're 55 KB JPG done >going good so far >middle of one group's powerpoint >suddenly get a r----------- >hide it under the table hoping no one notices >last group finishes >teacher calls my group to go up >boner hasn't gone away >S--- >get up from my seat as slowly as possible >dreading the walk of shame to the front of the class >trying to hold my d--- down with my hands in my pockets >only making it more noticable >teacher looks at me >sees my pain >"anon, why don't you come up to my computer and change the slides" >THANK F------ GOD >quickly shuffle over to the computer >hide d--- under desk >only the teacher knows >mfw I realize the teacher saved me from hanging myself that night

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It is evolving, just backwards | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/23/21(Fri)21:15:19 No.13427435 Autism is the next step in evolution. >high intelligence >either emotionless or highly empathetic >many hobbies/skills 63 KB JPG Fish are learning to walk, humans are evolving too.
: Anonymous 07/23/21(Fri)21:15:19 No.13427435 Autism is the next step in evolution. >high intelligence >either emotionless or highly empathetic >many hobbies/skills 63 KB JPG Fish are learning to walk, humans are evolving too.

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We do a little trolling | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 07/24/21(Sat)11:15:29 No.64694127 File: 1626895392803.png (132 KB, 400x346) >>64690732 (OP) >Be me >13 >never had gf >bullied in school >attracted to this one girl >text her >she texts me back >call her beautiful, say she is the prettiest girl in the class, all that bs >Text a little more, indirectly but very obviously express my feelings >next day im school >she says I'm pretty >I had bad acne >be happy >next day >we talk in school >she says we are in a relationship >be very happy >few days later >be in love >She says she wants to break up >be sad >find out she trolled me, sent the bullies screenshots of our texts >bullies make fun of me >mfw the bullies used her to hurt me >mfw it f------ hurt
O Anonymous 07/24/21(Sat)11:15:29 No.64694127 File: 1626895392803.png (132 KB, 400x346) >>64690732 (OP) >Be me >13 >never had gf >bullied in school >attracted to this one girl >text her >she texts me back >call her beautiful, say she is the prettiest girl in the class, all that bs >Text a little more, indirectly but very obviously express my feelings >next day im school >she says I'm pretty >I had bad acne >be happy >next day >we talk in school >she says we are in a relationship >be very happy >few days later >be in love >She says she wants to break up >be sad >find out she trolled me, sent the bullies screenshots of our texts >bullies make fun of me >mfw the bullies used her to hurt me >mfw it f------ hurt

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Anon tried | /r/Greentext

#1 331353106 >drop out of high school >limited to minimum wage s--- jobs >work my ass off and have nothing to show for it >decide enough is enough >go to college, study IT, graduate with degree >apply for hundreds of jobs in IT field >0% success rate >go back to working minimum wage jobs full time >decide enough is enough >go on welfare and get paid to be unemployed >drink myself to death and smoke weed and play vidya all day funded by taxpayers Yeah I tried but it didn't work. Sorry guys I'm not gonna get a job.
#1 331353106 >drop out of high school >limited to minimum wage s--- jobs >work my ass off and have nothing to show for it >decide enough is enough >go to college, study IT, graduate with degree >apply for hundreds of jobs in IT field >0% success rate >go back to working minimum wage jobs full time >decide enough is enough >go on welfare and get paid to be unemployed >drink myself to death and smoke weed and play vidya all day funded by taxpayers Yeah I tried but it didn't work. Sorry guys I'm not gonna get a job.

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Now I'm a believer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/24/21(Sat)23:41:24 No.64702305 >talking with receptionist who gives me my check >known her for years professionally >i mention that aliens may have invaded on the 18th 53 KB JPG >she asks all about it >find out she's a conspiracy theorist >she believes in gang stalking >believes in hollow earth >doesn't think humans went to the moon >tells me she often checks out the sky at night| just in case >got excited when i told her about how she can see starlink >she became 10x hotter after learning all this about her f---, how bad can it really be?
: Anonymous 07/24/21(Sat)23:41:24 No.64702305 >talking with receptionist who gives me my check >known her for years professionally >i mention that aliens may have invaded on the 18th 53 KB JPG >she asks all about it >find out she's a conspiracy theorist >she believes in gang stalking >believes in hollow earth >doesn't think humans went to the moon >tells me she often checks out the sky at night| just in case >got excited when i told her about how she can see starlink >she became 10x hotter after learning all this about her f---, how bad can it really be?

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Anon will be dead when his parents die. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/10/16(Wed)12:25:21 No.30565626 >be wagecuck >finally retire in your sixties >body's too broken to do anything physical >all the fun things you put off doing when you were young in order to focus on your career 52 KB JPG just aren't fun at your age anymore >all you can do is sit around all day for maybe another twenty years and wait for the cold hands of death to take you away Meanwhile... >be NEET >be in the prime of your life >healthy body because you avoided a lifetime of slave labor, maybe a bit out of shape from being sedentary, but nothing a few months in the gym won't fix >indulge in as much fun entertainment as you want >video games are still fun and exciting >decades of comfiness and relaxation await you Wagies literally do not have an argument.
: Anonymous 08/10/16(Wed)12:25:21 No.30565626 >be wagecuck >finally retire in your sixties >body's too broken to do anything physical >all the fun things you put off doing when you were young in order to focus on your career 52 KB JPG just aren't fun at your age anymore >all you can do is sit around all day for maybe another twenty years and wait for the cold hands of death to take you away Meanwhile... >be NEET >be in the prime of your life >healthy body because you avoided a lifetime of slave labor, maybe a bit out of shape from being sedentary, but nothing a few months in the gym won't fix >indulge in as much fun entertainment as you want >video games are still fun and exciting >decades of comfiness and relaxation await you Wagies literally do not have an argument.

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Japanon explains the united states | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 5TJEFM/7 07/24/21(Sat)20:21:58 No.331365976 >be the united states >actively discriminate against the smartest and most capable >reward the incapable and incompetent >diversity quotas are more important than anything else 72 KB PNG because they get you twitter likes >be shocked when your country can't accomplish anything or achieve greatness anymore
: Anonymous (ID: 5TJEFM/7 07/24/21(Sat)20:21:58 No.331365976 >be the united states >actively discriminate against the smartest and most capable >reward the incapable and incompetent >diversity quotas are more important than anything else 72 KB PNG because they get you twitter likes >be shocked when your country can't accomplish anything or achieve greatness anymore

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Anon is in a slasher film. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/25/21(Sun)00:34:06 No.64702696 >be me >get phone call from unknown number >ignores it >unknown caller leaves voicemail >voicemail says theres a gift at my door >checks front door thinking my friend is trolling me >opens the box at front door >has a plastic Jason mask with paint on it and a note that says "dont fail we are watching, kill them" >gets more voicemails telling me to go to certain 302 KB JPG addresses >doesn't go thinking its some retard making a empty threat >gets brick thrown through my window with a note attached >note says "strike 1" should i do what they say?
Anonymous 07/25/21(Sun)00:34:06 No.64702696 >be me >get phone call from unknown number >ignores it >unknown caller leaves voicemail >voicemail says theres a gift at my door >checks front door thinking my friend is trolling me >opens the box at front door >has a plastic Jason mask with paint on it and a note that says "dont fail we are watching, kill them" >gets more voicemails telling me to go to certain 302 KB JPG addresses >doesn't go thinking its some retard making a empty threat >gets brick thrown through my window with a note attached >note says "strike 1" should i do what they say?

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