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Avoir du chien | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/24/21(Sat)15:28:04 No.64697220 S8IGIIP >walking my retarded dog >hes a 110 Ib black lab 547 >some cutie walks past me with her tiny dog >my dog goes ballistic and slips out of the collar >has a history of fighting other dogs becuase hes a little retarded 364 KB PNG >panic.jpg >doesnt kill her dog dispite violently huffing and growling >wind up in conversation with qt for like 15-20 minutes >somehow walk away with her number Just get a dog you retards
: Anonymous 07/24/21(Sat)15:28:04 No.64697220 S8IGIIP >walking my retarded dog >hes a 110 Ib black lab 547 >some cutie walks past me with her tiny dog >my dog goes ballistic and slips out of the collar >has a history of fighting other dogs becuase hes a little retarded 364 KB PNG >panic.jpg >doesnt kill her dog dispite violently huffing and growling >wind up in conversation with qt for like 15-20 minutes >somehow walk away with her number Just get a dog you retards

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Anon doesn't go to camp | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/24/21(Sat)12:59:09 No.859603195 >Be me >Be 13 >Be summer >Parents forcing me to go to this retarded summer camp owned by both The boy scouts and f------ 446 KB PNG mormons >Have an idea >Go to church with dumb parents >sit down in the front row >Half way though say "F--- YOU" as loud as I could >Literally nobody except my dad reacted >mfw I get punished for pretty obvious reasons >mfw my parents don't send me to the summer camp
: Anonymous 07/24/21(Sat)12:59:09 No.859603195 >Be me >Be 13 >Be summer >Parents forcing me to go to this retarded summer camp owned by both The boy scouts and f------ 446 KB PNG mormons >Have an idea >Go to church with dumb parents >sit down in the front row >Half way though say "F--- YOU" as loud as I could >Literally nobody except my dad reacted >mfw I get punished for pretty obvious reasons >mfw my parents don't send me to the summer camp

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Anon on the racial difference of sex. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/24/21(Sat)15:15:59 No.64697091 >black girl >"AYYYYYYY IM GONNA F----- CREAM ON YO BIG D--- DADDY! AYYYYYYYYY F--- ME F--- ME! YAAAAASSSSSOH MY GODDDDDDDDDDD" >her whole body is squirming around, p---- is flexing expertly, and squeezing out all of your c-- >white girl sex >"uhhh mmm uhhh mmmm" >lays flat, no movement
Anonymous 07/24/21(Sat)15:15:59 No.64697091 >black girl >"AYYYYYYY IM GONNA F----- CREAM ON YO BIG D--- DADDY! AYYYYYYYYY F--- ME F--- ME! YAAAAASSSSSOH MY GODDDDDDDDDDD" >her whole body is squirming around, p---- is flexing expertly, and squeezing out all of your c-- >white girl sex >"uhhh mmm uhhh mmmm" >lays flat, no movement

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Anti-masker | /r/Greentext

File: 1623079004073.jpg (19 KB, 299x260) Anonymous 07/24/21(Sat)10:04:46 No.64694036 [Reply] D>>64694406 >roomate wont stop getting angry and start screaming like crazy throughout the entire apartment 10 times a day because hje keeps getting angry at rainbow six siege online >cant do anything because hes extremely aggressive when hes playing the game and hes 10 times stringer than me >he starts screaming even at 3 or 5 am >its been like this for almost 2 years now im about to snap soon guys, i have murder fantasies almost every single day now, in which i imagine scenarios where i violently kill him
File: 1623079004073.jpg (19 KB, 299x260) Anonymous 07/24/21(Sat)10:04:46 No.64694036 [Reply] D>>64694406 >roomate wont stop getting angry and start screaming like crazy throughout the entire apartment 10 times a day because hje keeps getting angry at rainbow six siege online >cant do anything because hes extremely aggressive when hes playing the game and hes 10 times stringer than me >he starts screaming even at 3 or 5 am >its been like this for almost 2 years now im about to snap soon guys, i have murder fantasies almost every single day now, in which i imagine scenarios where i violently kill him

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Anon has a BIG fetish | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/24/21(Sat)23:10:46 No.859595986 >be me >had a dream in which I summoned a demoness >she wasn't happy about it >she pointed her finger at me >as she lowered it down I felt a tremendous force 102 KB JPG >which pushed me down to my knees before her >she came closer and touched my forehead with her finger >l could feel she was able to read my every thought >she knew absolutely everything about me now >and she learned about my giantess fetish as well >she smiled and said she will let me experience it to the full extent >she shrunk me to about 4 inches and grabbed me in her hand >she looked at me with a grin on her face >and forced me into her p---- >she used me as a dildo >until she orgasmed hard >then she pushed me all the way deep inside her >and shrunk me to the size of a grain of sand >l heard her laughing somewhere above me >then she started to shrink me even more >l woke up sweating and tired af
: Anonymous 07/24/21(Sat)23:10:46 No.859595986 >be me >had a dream in which I summoned a demoness >she wasn't happy about it >she pointed her finger at me >as she lowered it down I felt a tremendous force 102 KB JPG >which pushed me down to my knees before her >she came closer and touched my forehead with her finger >l could feel she was able to read my every thought >she knew absolutely everything about me now >and she learned about my giantess fetish as well >she smiled and said she will let me experience it to the full extent >she shrunk me to about 4 inches and grabbed me in her hand >she looked at me with a grin on her face >and forced me into her p---- >she used me as a dildo >until she orgasmed hard >then she pushed me all the way deep inside her >and shrunk me to the size of a grain of sand >l heard her laughing somewhere above me >then she started to shrink me even more >l woke up sweating and tired af

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Anon finds happiness | /r/Greentext

File: 870288BA-382B-4A6D-985C-9(...).jpg (44 KB, 575x719) O Anonymous 07/24/21(Sat)12:10:44 No.859598527 >be stuck in dead-end job >boss is an a------ >best job i can get so i'm stuck >wife is useless, unemployed nag >annoying family takes up all my time >i exist solely to pay bills >no hobbies >only time i feel happy... >the bathroom >sit down and relax >look at p--- on phone >take huge satisfying s--- >savor the stench >blissful solitude >mfw the only time i'm happy is when i s---
File: 870288BA-382B-4A6D-985C-9(...).jpg (44 KB, 575x719) O Anonymous 07/24/21(Sat)12:10:44 No.859598527 >be stuck in dead-end job >boss is an a------ >best job i can get so i'm stuck >wife is useless, unemployed nag >annoying family takes up all my time >i exist solely to pay bills >no hobbies >only time i feel happy... >the bathroom >sit down and relax >look at p--- on phone >take huge satisfying s--- >savor the stench >blissful solitude >mfw the only time i'm happy is when i s---

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4chan being 4chan | /r/Greentext

A heartbreaking sign of the times: In isolation wards where patients die alone, craving the touch of their loved ones, nurses fill gloves with warm water to simulate that comfort. They call it the Hand of God. Anonymous 07/23/21(Fri)23:43:11 No.331211140 ▼ >>331211470 >>331211483 >>331196128 >be alone in the dark >barely able to move >your only comfort a warm, water filled glove on your hand >you need to pee but it's better than nothing >the minutes of your lives dusk tick by >the glove slowly cools like the hand of a dead man >dropping even below ambient temperature >the cold hand of the reaper pulling you to the afterlife
A heartbreaking sign of the times: In isolation wards where patients die alone, craving the touch of their loved ones, nurses fill gloves with warm water to simulate that comfort. They call it the Hand of God. Anonymous 07/23/21(Fri)23:43:11 No.331211140 ▼ >>331211470 >>331211483 >>331196128 >be alone in the dark >barely able to move >your only comfort a warm, water filled glove on your hand >you need to pee but it's better than nothing >the minutes of your lives dusk tick by >the glove slowly cools like the hand of a dead man >dropping even below ambient temperature >the cold hand of the reaper pulling you to the afterlife

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Tied to the mast | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/24/21(Sat)07:35:54 No.64692884 >week into no fap feeling good and energetic >keep getting random erections tempting me to break the streak so this is what its like when your d--- works again 107 KB JPG
: Anonymous 07/24/21(Sat)07:35:54 No.64692884 >week into no fap feeling good and energetic >keep getting random erections tempting me to break the streak so this is what its like when your d--- works again 107 KB JPG

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Business deductions | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/23/21(Fri)14:31:17 No.64684070 >talking to friend the other day >he's been a bit more hostile to me lately >asking him why he still speaks to me if he clearly doesn't enjoy it >tells me that he has "business" 654 KB PNG with me and he can't tell me what it is >basically admits to using me >mfw I have no idea what this f----- could be trying to use me for. AlLI do is sit in my room all day jerking off and gaming
: Anonymous 07/23/21(Fri)14:31:17 No.64684070 >talking to friend the other day >he's been a bit more hostile to me lately >asking him why he still speaks to me if he clearly doesn't enjoy it >tells me that he has "business" 654 KB PNG with me and he can't tell me what it is >basically admits to using me >mfw I have no idea what this f----- could be trying to use me for. AlLI do is sit in my room all day jerking off and gaming

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Anon has a cat | /r/Greentext

f--- /b/ they're back >be me last night >live in house built in 1900-1910s >get in bed around 2am with my cat >cuddling and watching YT >at some point he gets up and walks to 650 KB JPG my closet door >starts flipping the f--- out and jumps up on windowsill licking himself like crazy >starts clawing at the window a ton >is completely avoiding the floor only jumping up on my dresser, bed, and window >feel some liquid start dripping on me >there's nothing on me and nothing coming from the ceiling >start seeing grey figures pop up around my bed >grab special Damascus knife I keep next to bed since it's the holy steel >the figures disappear >a couple sec later I hear human screaming outside >can hear it come up to porch steps >loud crack and screaming stops >hear footsteps come up porch towards windows >see figure move past first window >goes around corner to second window >it looks like some pale, mangy, 7ft dog with human like front legs >starts f------ with window >windows are just wood frames with glass so no locks >window starts to lift up >dive out first window with cat and knife >jump up on railing and climb onto roof just before it reaches me >wait it out till sunrise in boxers on roof with cat >watch it go into woods behind house >get back inside and in bed >cat finally calms down and goes to bed I haven't slept yet, this is the 3rd time this has happened but it's never been this bad Pic related it's my cat now that's he's sleeping
f--- /b/ they're back >be me last night >live in house built in 1900-1910s >get in bed around 2am with my cat >cuddling and watching YT >at some point he gets up and walks to 650 KB JPG my closet door >starts flipping the f--- out and jumps up on windowsill licking himself like crazy >starts clawing at the window a ton >is completely avoiding the floor only jumping up on my dresser, bed, and window >feel some liquid start dripping on me >there's nothing on me and nothing coming from the ceiling >start seeing grey figures pop up around my bed >grab special Damascus knife I keep next to bed since it's the holy steel >the figures disappear >a couple sec later I hear human screaming outside >can hear it come up to porch steps >loud crack and screaming stops >hear footsteps come up porch towards windows >see figure move past first window >goes around corner to second window >it looks like some pale, mangy, 7ft dog with human like front legs >starts f------ with window >windows are just wood frames with glass so no locks >window starts to lift up >dive out first window with cat and knife >jump up on railing and climb onto roof just before it reaches me >wait it out till sunrise in boxers on roof with cat >watch it go into woods behind house >get back inside and in bed >cat finally calms down and goes to bed I haven't slept yet, this is the 3rd time this has happened but it's never been this bad Pic related it's my cat now that's he's sleeping

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Anon has a pleasant weekend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/24/21(Sat)11:34:23 No.154020703 >Gf is on a girls weekend away >Have the house all to myself >Going to marathon some manly kino >fridge stocked with beer and pizza pre ordered 189 KB JPG How is your weekend going? : Anonymous 07/24/21(Sat)11:36:16 No.154020748 She's gonna cuck you. You should call her and tell her to not go. Trust me on this. I'm like Hitch
: Anonymous 07/24/21(Sat)11:34:23 No.154020703 >Gf is on a girls weekend away >Have the house all to myself >Going to marathon some manly kino >fridge stocked with beer and pizza pre ordered 189 KB JPG How is your weekend going? : Anonymous 07/24/21(Sat)11:36:16 No.154020748 She's gonna cuck you. You should call her and tell her to not go. Trust me on this. I'm like Hitch

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Chad Cat lives the Chad life | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous /r9kot/ 07/24/21(Sat)00:20:06 No.64689751 >12 years old >spent 5 years as a stray >fathered 6 litters in that time >chill af >walks to the park with me >sleeps on my chest at night >dogs that get close are beaten into 76 KB JPG submission >doesn't leave the property when outdoors alone >never hisses or growls : Anonymous 07/24/21(Sat)00:23:56 No.64689777 >>64689751 (OP) # Sounds like a perfect cat, good for you man. Chad cat bro thinks you're a bro to him. 8 KB JPG : Anonymous 07/24/21(Sat)00:35:39 No.64689856 >>64689751 (OP) # Cats are gay therefore by extension you are gay >>64689916 # >>64690664 #
: Anonymous /r9kot/ 07/24/21(Sat)00:20:06 No.64689751 >12 years old >spent 5 years as a stray >fathered 6 litters in that time >chill af >walks to the park with me >sleeps on my chest at night >dogs that get close are beaten into 76 KB JPG submission >doesn't leave the property when outdoors alone >never hisses or growls : Anonymous 07/24/21(Sat)00:23:56 No.64689777 >>64689751 (OP) # Sounds like a perfect cat, good for you man. Chad cat bro thinks you're a bro to him. 8 KB JPG : Anonymous 07/24/21(Sat)00:35:39 No.64689856 >>64689751 (OP) # Cats are gay therefore by extension you are gay >>64689916 # >>64690664 #

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Anon lives in the middle east | /r/Greentext

>be muslim woman >accidentally bump into another man >get stoned to death
>be muslim woman >accidentally bump into another man >get stoned to death

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Anon takes the bus. | /r/Greentext

o Anonymous (ID: tLz24/mU) 07/26/13(Fri)16:44:48 No.495804625 File: 1374871488943.jpg-(12 KB, 262x192, s---.jpg) I'VE SEEN SOME S--- >> >be 13 >sick as a f------ dog still had to go to school, dads man, dads >finally made it to the end of the day, on bus trying not to puke >beautiful princess bitch in front of me with her friend >her perfume makes me f------ nauseous >bus hits bump going around a corner AND SOME S--- ACCESSORIES >oh man >projectile vomit with the force of a billion suns directly into her hair >down her back >into her purse, like i was a f------ machine built specifically to throw up gallons of bile >she throws up too, shes crying and puking >we're both shaking and throwing up, she aint even mad >forced to sit together because we reek and are sufficiently nasty best for 6 years. Replies: >>495805258>>495805824>>495807148
o Anonymous (ID: tLz24/mU) 07/26/13(Fri)16:44:48 No.495804625 File: 1374871488943.jpg-(12 KB, 262x192, s---.jpg) I'VE SEEN SOME S--- >> >be 13 >sick as a f------ dog still had to go to school, dads man, dads >finally made it to the end of the day, on bus trying not to puke >beautiful princess bitch in front of me with her friend >her perfume makes me f------ nauseous >bus hits bump going around a corner AND SOME S--- ACCESSORIES >oh man >projectile vomit with the force of a billion suns directly into her hair >down her back >into her purse, like i was a f------ machine built specifically to throw up gallons of bile >she throws up too, shes crying and puking >we're both shaking and throwing up, she aint even mad >forced to sit together because we reek and are sufficiently nasty best for 6 years. Replies: >>495805258>>495805824>>495807148

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Anon creates a safe space | /r/Greentext

LGBTQ+ Safe Space Thread >Rules: >No Hate >No Bigotry >No /pol/tards 6 KB PNG How is you day, anon?
LGBTQ+ Safe Space Thread >Rules: >No Hate >No Bigotry >No /pol/tards 6 KB PNG How is you day, anon?

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Anon screws up | /r/Greentext

>dad made steaks >tells me to take one small one and one big one >accidentally take the 2 smalls ones >the 2 big steaks are the only ones left >dad throws a tantrum because he 21 KB JPG basically has more food than me how do i keep f------ up?
>dad made steaks >tells me to take one small one and one big one >accidentally take the 2 smalls ones >the 2 big steaks are the only ones left >dad throws a tantrum because he 21 KB JPG basically has more food than me how do i keep f------ up?

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Anon loves his dad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous E 07/23/21(Fri)21:36:08 No.564823574 >be me >early millenial >dad gen xer >he used to play games as a young father of 23 years >even beat half life on hard >he has to take on more 144 KB PNG responsibility at work to afford being a single father >stops playing games but always gets me Nintendo stuff to keep my attention at home alone >surprises me with snes, n64, gamecube, wii through the years >my favorite thing is playing video games because that's what I did growing up besides playing with friends >hes much older now with a cozy easy construction position >randomly decides to get back into games several years ago >it's movie games but my dad is always asking me about the latest games and consoles now It came full circle bros, make sure to tell your dad you love them
: Anonymous E 07/23/21(Fri)21:36:08 No.564823574 >be me >early millenial >dad gen xer >he used to play games as a young father of 23 years >even beat half life on hard >he has to take on more 144 KB PNG responsibility at work to afford being a single father >stops playing games but always gets me Nintendo stuff to keep my attention at home alone >surprises me with snes, n64, gamecube, wii through the years >my favorite thing is playing video games because that's what I did growing up besides playing with friends >hes much older now with a cozy easy construction position >randomly decides to get back into games several years ago >it's movie games but my dad is always asking me about the latest games and consoles now It came full circle bros, make sure to tell your dad you love them

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Anon has a fetish | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/24/20(Mon)15:06:50 No.834800792 >getting into piss fetish >tugging my gherkin looking at some sweet pee pee pron >see people drink piss >ThatsHawt.png >consider drinking it myself 6 KB JPG >f--- it >it's taste test time >wee in a cup >put that golden body liquor to my lips >tastes sweet >weird but nice >google sweet urine >find tons of sources saying that only happens because of diabeetus >OH F--- OH S--- OH F--- >mfw I have to go to the doctor to ask for a diabetes test and he asks me why I think I need it Wut do /b/? : Anonymous 08/24/20(Mon)15:14:02 No.834801168 Fat f---, hope they cut off your feet
: Anonymous 08/24/20(Mon)15:06:50 No.834800792 >getting into piss fetish >tugging my gherkin looking at some sweet pee pee pron >see people drink piss >ThatsHawt.png >consider drinking it myself 6 KB JPG >f--- it >it's taste test time >wee in a cup >put that golden body liquor to my lips >tastes sweet >weird but nice >google sweet urine >find tons of sources saying that only happens because of diabeetus >OH F--- OH S--- OH F--- >mfw I have to go to the doctor to ask for a diabetes test and he asks me why I think I need it Wut do /b/? : Anonymous 08/24/20(Mon)15:14:02 No.834801168 Fat f---, hope they cut off your feet

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Anon feels down | /r/Greentext

File: EAB7F2EB-DA46-4C18-A32F-9(..).png (7 KB, 225x225) O Anonymous 12/16/20(Wed)17:33:51 No.842461255 >>842461463 >>84 >be me >sad and s--- bc roommates kicked me out >had to move someplace out of town >living by myself >hear foxes screaming all the time, dumb bitch next door feeds them >so bummed out after work, don't even wanna play vidya >all I do is sit on my phone for hours on end >sleep deprived because of lack of exercise and l'm on my phone too much >one night I go down bar >drink, try and pick up 7/10 >missionfailed.wav >thought I was a junky >ffs >sitting outside bar on the curb >some chad walks by with his protein shake >it's like eight at night w-- >asks me why l'm so bummed out sitting by the road >tell him my life's a mess, dropped out of college, can't get gf, new flat etc >puts his arm on my shoulder and says to me >hey man dont worry we'll getcha sorted >tell him f--- you, my life is falling apart don't tell me not to worry >he takes out his earphones and drops his gym bag next to me >looks me dead in the eye >ohfuckohfuckohfuck >picks me up by the shoulder and points at me >moustache appears on his face and four other men form around him >young man >there's no need to feel down >I said young man >pick yourself off the ground >l said young man >cause your in a new town >there's no need to be unhappy Anonymous 12/16/20(Wed)17:38:22 No.842461463 >>842461255 (OP) Kek, good one op Anonymous 12/16/20(Wed)17:41:43 No.842461611 >>842461255 (OP) I don't get it O Anonymous 12/16/20(Wed)17:46:49 No.842461836 File: 1608139245994.gif (14 KB, 112x112) >>842461255 (OP) >checked and kekked F--- me, I'm 34 and all this time I thought they were saying Yo man
File: EAB7F2EB-DA46-4C18-A32F-9(..).png (7 KB, 225x225) O Anonymous 12/16/20(Wed)17:33:51 No.842461255 >>842461463 >>84 >be me >sad and s--- bc roommates kicked me out >had to move someplace out of town >living by myself >hear foxes screaming all the time, dumb bitch next door feeds them >so bummed out after work, don't even wanna play vidya >all I do is sit on my phone for hours on end >sleep deprived because of lack of exercise and l'm on my phone too much >one night I go down bar >drink, try and pick up 7/10 >missionfailed.wav >thought I was a junky >ffs >sitting outside bar on the curb >some chad walks by with his protein shake >it's like eight at night w-- >asks me why l'm so bummed out sitting by the road >tell him my life's a mess, dropped out of college, can't get gf, new flat etc >puts his arm on my shoulder and says to me >hey man dont worry we'll getcha sorted >tell him f--- you, my life is falling apart don't tell me not to worry >he takes out his earphones and drops his gym bag next to me >looks me dead in the eye >ohfuckohfuckohfuck >picks me up by the shoulder and points at me >moustache appears on his face and four other men form around him >young man >there's no need to feel down >I said young man >pick yourself off the ground >l said young man >cause your in a new town >there's no need to be unhappy Anonymous 12/16/20(Wed)17:38:22 No.842461463 >>842461255 (OP) Kek, good one op Anonymous 12/16/20(Wed)17:41:43 No.842461611 >>842461255 (OP) I don't get it O Anonymous 12/16/20(Wed)17:46:49 No.842461836 File: 1608139245994.gif (14 KB, 112x112) >>842461255 (OP) >checked and kekked F--- me, I'm 34 and all this time I thought they were saying Yo man

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anon cheats | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous cheating 07/23/21(Fri)17:29:35 No.24625011 475949D6-01C9-4FF9-9607-F80D592AC6CE.jpg 58 KB JPG >be me >cheat on gf >hoe i cheated with ghosts me >sad what do?
: Anonymous cheating 07/23/21(Fri)17:29:35 No.24625011 475949D6-01C9-4FF9-9607-F80D592AC6CE.jpg 58 KB JPG >be me >cheat on gf >hoe i cheated with ghosts me >sad what do?

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