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Anon wants to masturbate | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)09:38:09 No.64655424 >go to Pornhub for a quick fap >find a video >there's a girl in it >close tab and never comes back nice try foids 33 KB JPG
Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)09:38:09 No.64655424 >go to Pornhub for a quick fap >find a video >there's a girl in it >close tab and never comes back nice try foids 33 KB JPG

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Anon might have a problem with God | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/22/21(Thu)13:23:16 No.64665666 >be me >highschool >try to get girlfriend >"sorry anon let's stay friends" >becomes a nun >uni >have a gf >"sorry anon I felt the calling" 27 KB JPG >becomes a nun >make friends with lady at the cafe near my home >ask on a date >"oh anon pardon me, I can't" >ofc she would be a nun How the f--- am I supposed to compete with Jesus? : Anonymous 07/22/21(Thu)13:27:57 No.64665698 >>64665666 (OP) # >666 Lmao get f----- antichrist
: Anonymous 07/22/21(Thu)13:23:16 No.64665666 >be me >highschool >try to get girlfriend >"sorry anon let's stay friends" >becomes a nun >uni >have a gf >"sorry anon I felt the calling" 27 KB JPG >becomes a nun >make friends with lady at the cafe near my home >ask on a date >"oh anon pardon me, I can't" >ofc she would be a nun How the f--- am I supposed to compete with Jesus? : Anonymous 07/22/21(Thu)13:27:57 No.64665698 >>64665666 (OP) # >666 Lmao get f----- antichrist

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Real Ghosts | /r/Greentext

>Girlfriend of 4 years leaves me last week >She moved out while I was at work >Went into computer room >Her desk is completely empty 13 KB JPG >l sit down and browse the internet for a bit >Looking at random funny videos >Hours pass >Find one funny video I can't stop laughing at >"Hey you have to see th-" >Turn to see an empty desk beside mine I thought she was still here.
>Girlfriend of 4 years leaves me last week >She moved out while I was at work >Went into computer room >Her desk is completely empty 13 KB JPG >l sit down and browse the internet for a bit >Looking at random funny videos >Hours pass >Find one funny video I can't stop laughing at >"Hey you have to see th-" >Turn to see an empty desk beside mine I thought she was still here.

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Anon lives on the west coast | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)23:00:04 No.859435734 San Pedro St ROSSLYK Little Tokye + Fashin ist TLAS F------.jpg 188 KB JPG >Live on the west coast >Walk outside >Sidewalks covered in tents and trash >A tipped over RECYCLING bin filled to the brim with used needles >walk further down the street >see a sign on a store window >"SUPPORT OUT TENTED NEIGHBORS" I f------ hate bums so goddamn much, idc that that they "have it rough" get off the sidewalk and stop turning the public parks I pay for into a dumpster. 19 Replies / 3 Images View Thread : Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)23:57:54 No.859439133 >>859438867 # >typical punk teenager >J------- too much Anon this is you
: Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)23:00:04 No.859435734 San Pedro St ROSSLYK Little Tokye + Fashin ist TLAS F------.jpg 188 KB JPG >Live on the west coast >Walk outside >Sidewalks covered in tents and trash >A tipped over RECYCLING bin filled to the brim with used needles >walk further down the street >see a sign on a store window >"SUPPORT OUT TENTED NEIGHBORS" I f------ hate bums so goddamn much, idc that that they "have it rough" get off the sidewalk and stop turning the public parks I pay for into a dumpster. 19 Replies / 3 Images View Thread : Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)23:57:54 No.859439133 >>859438867 # >typical punk teenager >J------- too much Anon this is you

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thanks mr. doggo | /r/Greentext

Best mom ever >be me >be 21 yr old and depressed >have no friends and no gf >mom comes >sees I'm unhappy and buys me a gift >mfw its a dog 20 KB JPG >gives me food for the dog >healthy doggo is cute >people see dog >pet dog >dog makes me new friends >thanks to dog have a lot of friends >no gf but still happy >thank mr.doggo >thanks mom for being the best mom and blessing me with a dog >happiness and love
Best mom ever >be me >be 21 yr old and depressed >have no friends and no gf >mom comes >sees I'm unhappy and buys me a gift >mfw its a dog 20 KB JPG >gives me food for the dog >healthy doggo is cute >people see dog >pet dog >dog makes me new friends >thanks to dog have a lot of friends >no gf but still happy >thank mr.doggo >thanks mom for being the best mom and blessing me with a dog >happiness and love

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anon is an addict | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)00:00:30 No.64651422 >mild drug addict >used to have 2-3 friends here and there a few people I talked to sometimes talked to girls >entire time I was saying man this sucks I want money and unlimited drugs >I get money and unlimited drugs years later 55 KB JPG >l have no friends >no drug makes me happy >I can smoke a gram of weed and a Xanax bar and just sigh bored >lay in bed alone all day >weed used to cheer me up and make me laugh no matter what and feel comfy and now it usually just feels like a chore that makes me tired >10 year smoking habit so I just habitually wake up smoke weed pop a Xanax to chill out do some kratom or opiates >no friends at all so I mostly just stare at a screen >my RuneScape account got hacked so I dont even have that >no one wants to be around me >made all my neighbors hate me because theyre all loud ass holes and I dont even like walking outside >just listen to old music from when I was happy >sometimes I try getting in touch with someone or make a friend >it just ends in nothing >havent talked to a girl in a year
: Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)00:00:30 No.64651422 >mild drug addict >used to have 2-3 friends here and there a few people I talked to sometimes talked to girls >entire time I was saying man this sucks I want money and unlimited drugs >I get money and unlimited drugs years later 55 KB JPG >l have no friends >no drug makes me happy >I can smoke a gram of weed and a Xanax bar and just sigh bored >lay in bed alone all day >weed used to cheer me up and make me laugh no matter what and feel comfy and now it usually just feels like a chore that makes me tired >10 year smoking habit so I just habitually wake up smoke weed pop a Xanax to chill out do some kratom or opiates >no friends at all so I mostly just stare at a screen >my RuneScape account got hacked so I dont even have that >no one wants to be around me >made all my neighbors hate me because theyre all loud ass holes and I dont even like walking outside >just listen to old music from when I was happy >sometimes I try getting in touch with someone or make a friend >it just ends in nothing >havent talked to a girl in a year

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Blame game | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)08:38:03 No.859412865 I can't f------ take it anymore. >Bitch sister >Always called me names and hit me whenever she was stressed/ felt like it >Finally hit back and give her stitches >Police are called, but I'm let off with a 108 KB JPG warning >This was last August >Go through a period of ignoring each other >Earlier May this year >Starts kicking my door and making vomit noises when I pass her >lgnore this >She starts to get more confident and starts shoving and hitting me >Punch her in the face whenever she does >Runs off to my parents to tell on me whenever I retaliate >Parents always act like I'm in the wrong even they agree that she hit first Why won't they all die already?
: Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)08:38:03 No.859412865 I can't f------ take it anymore. >Bitch sister >Always called me names and hit me whenever she was stressed/ felt like it >Finally hit back and give her stitches >Police are called, but I'm let off with a 108 KB JPG warning >This was last August >Go through a period of ignoring each other >Earlier May this year >Starts kicking my door and making vomit noises when I pass her >lgnore this >She starts to get more confident and starts shoving and hitting me >Punch her in the face whenever she does >Runs off to my parents to tell on me whenever I retaliate >Parents always act like I'm in the wrong even they agree that she hit first Why won't they all die already?

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Anon spooks some coppers | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Pranking Open Carriers 07/21/21(Wed)13:15:48 No.50014309 >be me >going to my favorite kinda pricy hot chicken joint >gotta get me a hot chicken sandwich and some greens mmm >see a diverse group of six or so former- military types all open carrying duty 12 KB JPG pistols >one if them has this ridiculous leg rig >another has a f------ MED KIT BELT >stifle laughter >these guys look like they just left Fallujah, seem about as on edge too >when we get our chicken buddy goes back outside to ask why they are dressed like that >they are super snarky and basically admit they are off duty cops >musing about how I could probably get the drop on them and execute all 6 with my cc g19 without one of them drawing >have an idea >as we leave throw a couple firecrackers from my car at them >activate sheepdog.exe >they all jolt into action >it's nothing >kek You too can throw firecrackers at on-edge sheepdogs. It's probably legal. How do you f--- with OCers?
: Anonymous Pranking Open Carriers 07/21/21(Wed)13:15:48 No.50014309 >be me >going to my favorite kinda pricy hot chicken joint >gotta get me a hot chicken sandwich and some greens mmm >see a diverse group of six or so former- military types all open carrying duty 12 KB JPG pistols >one if them has this ridiculous leg rig >another has a f------ MED KIT BELT >stifle laughter >these guys look like they just left Fallujah, seem about as on edge too >when we get our chicken buddy goes back outside to ask why they are dressed like that >they are super snarky and basically admit they are off duty cops >musing about how I could probably get the drop on them and execute all 6 with my cc g19 without one of them drawing >have an idea >as we leave throw a couple firecrackers from my car at them >activate sheepdog.exe >they all jolt into action >it's nothing >kek You too can throw firecrackers at on-edge sheepdogs. It's probably legal. How do you f--- with OCers?

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Duality of Man | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)15:51:01 No.64659427 >all men talk about is sex >all men think about is sex >the only way men can show affection is through sex a sexless relationship with a moid is impossible 1.28 MB PNG : Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)16:13:49 No.64659708 Реерее роороо :DDDD 62 КВ ЈPG
: Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)15:51:01 No.64659427 >all men talk about is sex >all men think about is sex >the only way men can show affection is through sex a sexless relationship with a moid is impossible 1.28 MB PNG : Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)16:13:49 No.64659708 Реерее роороо :DDDD 62 КВ ЈPG

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Anon is a Chad and he must suffer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)16:16:07 No.6465580- >be me >on antidepressants >can't coom >f--- some bitch knowing nothing will come out >a week later.. >"anon! I'm pregnant" 113 KB JPG : Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)16:20:16 No.64655846 : Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)16:47:25 No.64656097 >>64655804 (OP) # Paternity test. Very likely it's not yours. >>64656105 # : Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)16:48:16 No.64656105 >>64656097 # Quiet Anon, Chad must suffer for g-----------. : Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)16:49:02 No.64656111 youre so stupid anon, you should use a condom but youre so, so stupid that you just ruined your life : Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)16:50:20 No.64656126 >>64655804 (OP) # Congratulations! (if the child is white)
: Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)16:16:07 No.6465580- >be me >on antidepressants >can't coom >f--- some bitch knowing nothing will come out >a week later.. >"anon! I'm pregnant" 113 KB JPG : Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)16:20:16 No.64655846 : Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)16:47:25 No.64656097 >>64655804 (OP) # Paternity test. Very likely it's not yours. >>64656105 # : Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)16:48:16 No.64656105 >>64656097 # Quiet Anon, Chad must suffer for g-----------. : Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)16:49:02 No.64656111 youre so stupid anon, you should use a condom but youre so, so stupid that you just ruined your life : Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)16:50:20 No.64656126 >>64655804 (OP) # Congratulations! (if the child is white)

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anon gets advice | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/22/21(Thu)01:44:02 No.859441579 >be me >ask question about weed >"rope n-----" >"kys f-----" >"show a------" >go to reddit >ask same question 27 KB JPG >get good advice 2 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 07/22/21(Thu)01:44:02 No.859441579 >be me >ask question about weed >"rope n-----" >"kys f-----" >"show a------" >go to reddit >ask same question 27 KB JPG >get good advice 2 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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More than a feeling | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)10:17:30 No.859416630 >l message you for the s--- and giggles >we play a few games and talk >goes well and we end up becoming good pals >time goes by and covid settles down >decide we should meet up and hang out in person >we hit it off even in real life >we go to a bar to try and score some p--- >you hand me a drink as im scoping around >drink it >dontfeelsogood.jpg >black out >wake up in a ice bath >feel a pain in my right hip >sees stitches >mfw this was a long con to harvest my kidneys
: Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)10:17:30 No.859416630 >l message you for the s--- and giggles >we play a few games and talk >goes well and we end up becoming good pals >time goes by and covid settles down >decide we should meet up and hang out in person >we hit it off even in real life >we go to a bar to try and score some p--- >you hand me a drink as im scoping around >drink it >dontfeelsogood.jpg >black out >wake up in a ice bath >feel a pain in my right hip >sees stitches >mfw this was a long con to harvest my kidneys

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Anon dislikes Elne | /r/Greentext

>me BLEACH >30 >finally not living in my own filth/parents' basement 401 KB JPG >rainbowskeepfallingonmyhead.mp4 >have a big boy job and my own place >think to myself Anon, we are adult now, it's time to move on >make le deddit account >mostly normie s--- >discover d/greentext >lol normies sharing 4chan masterpieces >see some stupid dedditer "Elne" pic related >ffw now permanently blind and back in my own filth in parents' basement F--- you Elne
>me BLEACH >30 >finally not living in my own filth/parents' basement 401 KB JPG >rainbowskeepfallingonmyhead.mp4 >have a big boy job and my own place >think to myself Anon, we are adult now, it's time to move on >make le deddit account >mostly normie s--- >discover d/greentext >lol normies sharing 4chan masterpieces >see some stupid dedditer "Elne" pic related >ffw now permanently blind and back in my own filth in parents' basement F--- you Elne

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anon got the virus | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)17:59:35 No.859435707 >Got tested for coronavirus today >Company policy, whatever >They stuck a swab up my nose >feelsbadman.jpg >all done, don't have to worry about it now 519 KB PNG >OCD kicks in >feeling the need of an equal stimulus on the other side of the nose >literally fighting against the impulse of stabbing my face with a pencil what should I do /b/?
: Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)17:59:35 No.859435707 >Got tested for coronavirus today >Company policy, whatever >They stuck a swab up my nose >feelsbadman.jpg >all done, don't have to worry about it now 519 KB PNG >OCD kicks in >feeling the need of an equal stimulus on the other side of the nose >literally fighting against the impulse of stabbing my face with a pencil what should I do /b/?

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Tranon gets mad | /r/Greentext

File: was were.jpg (6 KB, 192x185) O T----- name Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)21:47:49 No.64660105 ► >Be me, t----- >Finally tell family, ask them to call me Lily >None of them really care either way >Little brother has a friend called Lily >Starts calling me "Lily with a Willy" >Rest of family thinks it's funny, also call me that >Over time it spreads, basically everyone I know through family calls me that It's been three years and I've had bottom surgery but they still call me it. I'm gonna go 41% WASWERE [Return] [Catalog] [Top] [Update] [ OAuto] [Post a Reply]
File: was were.jpg (6 KB, 192x185) O T----- name Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)21:47:49 No.64660105 ► >Be me, t----- >Finally tell family, ask them to call me Lily >None of them really care either way >Little brother has a friend called Lily >Starts calling me "Lily with a Willy" >Rest of family thinks it's funny, also call me that >Over time it spreads, basically everyone I know through family calls me that It's been three years and I've had bottom surgery but they still call me it. I'm gonna go 41% WASWERE [Return] [Catalog] [Top] [Update] [ OAuto] [Post a Reply]

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Anon discovers the dead Kennedy’s | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/04/21(Sun)23:32:32 No.104625464 >The dead Kennedy's were an extremely political punk rock band from 1978-1986 >they were so political most record shops refused to stock their records >their name is literally mocking the death of president Kennedy >mfw I realize what they could have done 21 KB JPG to minorities, recent elections, ect.
: Anonymous 07/04/21(Sun)23:32:32 No.104625464 >The dead Kennedy's were an extremely political punk rock band from 1978-1986 >they were so political most record shops refused to stock their records >their name is literally mocking the death of president Kennedy >mfw I realize what they could have done 21 KB JPG to minorities, recent elections, ect.

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Anon trolls demon back to hell | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/19/21(Mon)01:23:57 No.29262884 >be me >long time lurker on this board >decide to try the arts goetia because why not? >perform the ritual and decided to summon Stolas 119 KB JPG >room gets strangely cold >decide to look into the circle and yell sneed at him >rooms goes back to normal How can I keep trolling demons? : Anonymous 07/19/21(Mon)01:35:14 No.29262999 >>29262884 (OP) # I swear I already saw some deranged autist posting on /x/ how he is beating up ghosts in the astral and threatened to r--- lilith and her daughters and now OP, yet another degenerate, starts f------ with spiritual beings. Keep it up you retards and you will soon bring upon us the end of the world. How fitting it would be if the day of apocalypse would be accelerated by societal outcasts. >>29263082 # >>29263218 # >>29263225 # >>29263414 # >>29263463 # >>29263501 # >>29263604 # >>29264020 # >>29264039 # >>29264838 # >>29264901 # >>29265160 # >>29268983 # >>29269082 # >>29269371 #
: Anonymous 07/19/21(Mon)01:23:57 No.29262884 >be me >long time lurker on this board >decide to try the arts goetia because why not? >perform the ritual and decided to summon Stolas 119 KB JPG >room gets strangely cold >decide to look into the circle and yell sneed at him >rooms goes back to normal How can I keep trolling demons? : Anonymous 07/19/21(Mon)01:35:14 No.29262999 >>29262884 (OP) # I swear I already saw some deranged autist posting on /x/ how he is beating up ghosts in the astral and threatened to r--- lilith and her daughters and now OP, yet another degenerate, starts f------ with spiritual beings. Keep it up you retards and you will soon bring upon us the end of the world. How fitting it would be if the day of apocalypse would be accelerated by societal outcasts. >>29263082 # >>29263218 # >>29263225 # >>29263414 # >>29263463 # >>29263501 # >>29263604 # >>29264020 # >>29264039 # >>29264838 # >>29264901 # >>29265160 # >>29268983 # >>29269082 # >>29269371 #

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Thought this would take a turn for the worse. | /r/Greentext

File: 8dla7zh7h6461.jpg (37 KB, 459x428) O Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)18:31:50 No.859421852 >be me, 35, medical caregiver for mentally disabled people >people often contract me to take care of their disabled relatives when they want to take a vacation >one day, a family hires me, they have a 22 year old daughter with the mental age of 4 >tell me where everything is, living expenses will be covered >they introduce me to her, while she plays with plush-toys in her room >tell me she is really clingy and that she has no sense of shame or anything, so im prepared >they leave, first evening without trouble, she is a messy eater, but not aggressive as others >days pass, we play and make some little excursions in the neighborhood >come near town square, wanna shop for groceries >suddenly, she undresses, pullover, shirt, everything gone >people stop, and stare >some guys whistle >my heartbeat goes through the roof >try my best to cover her, leave in a hurry >relax later with her on the couch, after I went shopping alone >cuddle time >remember her nice breasts >r----------- >f------ hate myself
File: 8dla7zh7h6461.jpg (37 KB, 459x428) O Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)18:31:50 No.859421852 >be me, 35, medical caregiver for mentally disabled people >people often contract me to take care of their disabled relatives when they want to take a vacation >one day, a family hires me, they have a 22 year old daughter with the mental age of 4 >tell me where everything is, living expenses will be covered >they introduce me to her, while she plays with plush-toys in her room >tell me she is really clingy and that she has no sense of shame or anything, so im prepared >they leave, first evening without trouble, she is a messy eater, but not aggressive as others >days pass, we play and make some little excursions in the neighborhood >come near town square, wanna shop for groceries >suddenly, she undresses, pullover, shirt, everything gone >people stop, and stare >some guys whistle >my heartbeat goes through the roof >try my best to cover her, leave in a hurry >relax later with her on the couch, after I went shopping alone >cuddle time >remember her nice breasts >r----------- >f------ hate myself

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Anon owes the wrong people money | /r/Greentext

>be me >be Muggle >daughter is hot 10/10 wiz kid genius >send her to Hogwarts because that's what you do >she's very talented 1.05 MB JPG >good for her >tri wizard tournament >Dumbledore kidnapps my daughter, ties her up and throws her into the lake to drown as part of a Tri Wizard challenge for some cheeky bastard named Harry Potter >to this day Dumbledor keeps sending owls telling me to pay school fees >still haven't got my baby girl back >the owls keep coming
>be me >be Muggle >daughter is hot 10/10 wiz kid genius >send her to Hogwarts because that's what you do >she's very talented 1.05 MB JPG >good for her >tri wizard tournament >Dumbledore kidnapps my daughter, ties her up and throws her into the lake to drown as part of a Tri Wizard challenge for some cheeky bastard named Harry Potter >to this day Dumbledor keeps sending owls telling me to pay school fees >still haven't got my baby girl back >the owls keep coming

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Anon Tries to Feed the Homeless | /r/Greentext


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