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Anon Helps a New Friend

O Anonymous 02/11/19(Mon)11:15:07 No.792359077 >be me >gap year >work as nursery assistant at a home for mentally challenged (IQ>70) >one guy is very unintelligent >24 years old >IQ too low to learn how to speak >only says weird sounds >no friends >only hobby is to suck puddles dry >once tried sucking lake dry >puked multiple times >once all got sick from bad food >he didn't because of superior stomach from sucking puddles >one day the home gets a new manager >decides that puddlesucker cannot suck puddles anymore >puddlesucker gets very sad >one time I have the night shift >its raining >see puddlesucker stand by the window crying looking at the many delicious puddles >l open the door >puddlesucker runs outside faster than a 4chan user chasing an icecream truck >sucks on atleast 7 puddles >comes back >gives me big wet hug >mfw guy who doesn't even crack a smile when he sees his family after 2 months, gives me a hug
O Anonymous 02/11/19(Mon)11:15:07 No.792359077 >be me >gap year >work as nursery assistant at a home for mentally challenged (IQ>70) >one guy is very unintelligent >24 years old >IQ too low to learn how to speak >only says weird sounds >no friends >only hobby is to suck puddles dry >once tried sucking lake dry >puked multiple times >once all got sick from bad food >he didn't because of superior stomach from sucking puddles >one day the home gets a new manager >decides that puddlesucker cannot suck puddles anymore >puddlesucker gets very sad >one time I have the night shift >its raining >see puddlesucker stand by the window crying looking at the many delicious puddles >l open the door >puddlesucker runs outside faster than a 4chan user chasing an icecream truck >sucks on atleast 7 puddles >comes back >gives me big wet hug >mfw guy who doesn't even crack a smile when he sees his family after 2 months, gives me a hug

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A Good Grandson

: Anonymous Family stories 07/21/21(Wed)21:01:47 No.64662661 Family is important anons, lets share some stories! > be me > be good grandson who loves his grandparents > hear that grandma fell > shes got paranoia and 54 KB JPG depression from before, so this affects her more > know shes very religious > offer myself to take her to church > bring her inner peace and comfort > happy.exe > shes very thankful and gives me a very warm smile and soft hug 1 Reply View Thread
: Anonymous Family stories 07/21/21(Wed)21:01:47 No.64662661 Family is important anons, lets share some stories! > be me > be good grandson who loves his grandparents > hear that grandma fell > shes got paranoia and 54 KB JPG depression from before, so this affects her more > know shes very religious > offer myself to take her to church > bring her inner peace and comfort > happy.exe > shes very thankful and gives me a very warm smile and soft hug 1 Reply View Thread

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Anon Meets a Flat Earther

>be me >be training new guy at work >first shift training him he mentions he believes in the flat earth >begin to protest and try to point out the numerous holes in his 73 KB JPG logic >realize i am a wage-slave >realize he is also a wage-slave >realize what either of us believes in doesn't matter at all >he will never be in a profession that requires him to account for the earth not being flat >let him have his fantasy in peace if it makes being a wage-slave easier >get a little closer to divinity by not feeling the need to try and assert intellectual superiority over pointless topic : Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)22:13:57 No.29294396 >>29294362 (OP)_# Nice. That's what I would call being comfortable with yourself. Disagreement doesn't matter when there's nothing at stake, and being comfortable enough to not require everyone to agree with 232 KB JPG you is mature. Sincerely good post, OP.
>be me >be training new guy at work >first shift training him he mentions he believes in the flat earth >begin to protest and try to point out the numerous holes in his 73 KB JPG logic >realize i am a wage-slave >realize he is also a wage-slave >realize what either of us believes in doesn't matter at all >he will never be in a profession that requires him to account for the earth not being flat >let him have his fantasy in peace if it makes being a wage-slave easier >get a little closer to divinity by not feeling the need to try and assert intellectual superiority over pointless topic : Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)22:13:57 No.29294396 >>29294362 (OP)_# Nice. That's what I would call being comfortable with yourself. Disagreement doesn't matter when there's nothing at stake, and being comfortable enough to not require everyone to agree with 232 KB JPG you is mature. Sincerely good post, OP.

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anon is lucky | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/22/21(Thu)09:39:36 No.859463835 >be 23 >Drive these 10 hours a day for four days, then have four days off. >Earn $160,000 AUD a year. >Literally no experience needed. >About to start my shift now, gonna 77 KB JPG listen to audiobooks. >F--- life is easy when you live in the greatest nation on Earth. 58 Replies / 8 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 07/22/21(Thu)09:39:36 No.859463835 >be 23 >Drive these 10 hours a day for four days, then have four days off. >Earn $160,000 AUD a year. >Literally no experience needed. >About to start my shift now, gonna 77 KB JPG listen to audiobooks. >F--- life is easy when you live in the greatest nation on Earth. 58 Replies / 8 Images View Thread

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Anon has a bad day | /r/Greentext


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anon goes to a dance | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)08:13:41 No.64654697 >>64654248 (OP) # >be me >be 14 15 KB JPG >attend boys only school (thanks mum and dad) >go to school dance held with local 'sister' school >didn't get a dance all night >feelsbadman.jpg >towards the end of the night a qt comes up and asks "Hey, want to dance?" >couldn't believe my luck >Say yes >She says "Just kidding!" >Walks away with her friend laughing >Self esteem was already critically low - now depleted Why are girls like this? I'm glad women have to suffer periods and childbirth. They f------ deserve it.
: Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)08:13:41 No.64654697 >>64654248 (OP) # >be me >be 14 15 KB JPG >attend boys only school (thanks mum and dad) >go to school dance held with local 'sister' school >didn't get a dance all night >feelsbadman.jpg >towards the end of the night a qt comes up and asks "Hey, want to dance?" >couldn't believe my luck >Say yes >She says "Just kidding!" >Walks away with her friend laughing >Self esteem was already critically low - now depleted Why are girls like this? I'm glad women have to suffer periods and childbirth. They f------ deserve it.

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Anon wants to masturbate | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)09:38:09 No.64655424 >go to Pornhub for a quick fap >find a video >there's a girl in it >close tab and never comes back nice try foids 33 KB JPG
Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)09:38:09 No.64655424 >go to Pornhub for a quick fap >find a video >there's a girl in it >close tab and never comes back nice try foids 33 KB JPG

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Anon might have a problem with God | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/22/21(Thu)13:23:16 No.64665666 >be me >highschool >try to get girlfriend >"sorry anon let's stay friends" >becomes a nun >uni >have a gf >"sorry anon I felt the calling" 27 KB JPG >becomes a nun >make friends with lady at the cafe near my home >ask on a date >"oh anon pardon me, I can't" >ofc she would be a nun How the f--- am I supposed to compete with Jesus? : Anonymous 07/22/21(Thu)13:27:57 No.64665698 >>64665666 (OP) # >666 Lmao get f----- antichrist
: Anonymous 07/22/21(Thu)13:23:16 No.64665666 >be me >highschool >try to get girlfriend >"sorry anon let's stay friends" >becomes a nun >uni >have a gf >"sorry anon I felt the calling" 27 KB JPG >becomes a nun >make friends with lady at the cafe near my home >ask on a date >"oh anon pardon me, I can't" >ofc she would be a nun How the f--- am I supposed to compete with Jesus? : Anonymous 07/22/21(Thu)13:27:57 No.64665698 >>64665666 (OP) # >666 Lmao get f----- antichrist

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Real Ghosts | /r/Greentext

>Girlfriend of 4 years leaves me last week >She moved out while I was at work >Went into computer room >Her desk is completely empty 13 KB JPG >l sit down and browse the internet for a bit >Looking at random funny videos >Hours pass >Find one funny video I can't stop laughing at >"Hey you have to see th-" >Turn to see an empty desk beside mine I thought she was still here.
>Girlfriend of 4 years leaves me last week >She moved out while I was at work >Went into computer room >Her desk is completely empty 13 KB JPG >l sit down and browse the internet for a bit >Looking at random funny videos >Hours pass >Find one funny video I can't stop laughing at >"Hey you have to see th-" >Turn to see an empty desk beside mine I thought she was still here.

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Anon lives on the west coast | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)23:00:04 No.859435734 San Pedro St ROSSLYK Little Tokye + Fashin ist TLAS F------.jpg 188 KB JPG >Live on the west coast >Walk outside >Sidewalks covered in tents and trash >A tipped over RECYCLING bin filled to the brim with used needles >walk further down the street >see a sign on a store window >"SUPPORT OUT TENTED NEIGHBORS" I f------ hate bums so goddamn much, idc that that they "have it rough" get off the sidewalk and stop turning the public parks I pay for into a dumpster. 19 Replies / 3 Images View Thread : Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)23:57:54 No.859439133 >>859438867 # >typical punk teenager >J------- too much Anon this is you
: Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)23:00:04 No.859435734 San Pedro St ROSSLYK Little Tokye + Fashin ist TLAS F------.jpg 188 KB JPG >Live on the west coast >Walk outside >Sidewalks covered in tents and trash >A tipped over RECYCLING bin filled to the brim with used needles >walk further down the street >see a sign on a store window >"SUPPORT OUT TENTED NEIGHBORS" I f------ hate bums so goddamn much, idc that that they "have it rough" get off the sidewalk and stop turning the public parks I pay for into a dumpster. 19 Replies / 3 Images View Thread : Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)23:57:54 No.859439133 >>859438867 # >typical punk teenager >J------- too much Anon this is you

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thanks mr. doggo | /r/Greentext

Best mom ever >be me >be 21 yr old and depressed >have no friends and no gf >mom comes >sees I'm unhappy and buys me a gift >mfw its a dog 20 KB JPG >gives me food for the dog >healthy doggo is cute >people see dog >pet dog >dog makes me new friends >thanks to dog have a lot of friends >no gf but still happy >thank mr.doggo >thanks mom for being the best mom and blessing me with a dog >happiness and love
Best mom ever >be me >be 21 yr old and depressed >have no friends and no gf >mom comes >sees I'm unhappy and buys me a gift >mfw its a dog 20 KB JPG >gives me food for the dog >healthy doggo is cute >people see dog >pet dog >dog makes me new friends >thanks to dog have a lot of friends >no gf but still happy >thank mr.doggo >thanks mom for being the best mom and blessing me with a dog >happiness and love

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anon is an addict | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)00:00:30 No.64651422 >mild drug addict >used to have 2-3 friends here and there a few people I talked to sometimes talked to girls >entire time I was saying man this sucks I want money and unlimited drugs >I get money and unlimited drugs years later 55 KB JPG >l have no friends >no drug makes me happy >I can smoke a gram of weed and a Xanax bar and just sigh bored >lay in bed alone all day >weed used to cheer me up and make me laugh no matter what and feel comfy and now it usually just feels like a chore that makes me tired >10 year smoking habit so I just habitually wake up smoke weed pop a Xanax to chill out do some kratom or opiates >no friends at all so I mostly just stare at a screen >my RuneScape account got hacked so I dont even have that >no one wants to be around me >made all my neighbors hate me because theyre all loud ass holes and I dont even like walking outside >just listen to old music from when I was happy >sometimes I try getting in touch with someone or make a friend >it just ends in nothing >havent talked to a girl in a year
: Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)00:00:30 No.64651422 >mild drug addict >used to have 2-3 friends here and there a few people I talked to sometimes talked to girls >entire time I was saying man this sucks I want money and unlimited drugs >I get money and unlimited drugs years later 55 KB JPG >l have no friends >no drug makes me happy >I can smoke a gram of weed and a Xanax bar and just sigh bored >lay in bed alone all day >weed used to cheer me up and make me laugh no matter what and feel comfy and now it usually just feels like a chore that makes me tired >10 year smoking habit so I just habitually wake up smoke weed pop a Xanax to chill out do some kratom or opiates >no friends at all so I mostly just stare at a screen >my RuneScape account got hacked so I dont even have that >no one wants to be around me >made all my neighbors hate me because theyre all loud ass holes and I dont even like walking outside >just listen to old music from when I was happy >sometimes I try getting in touch with someone or make a friend >it just ends in nothing >havent talked to a girl in a year

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Blame game | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)08:38:03 No.859412865 I can't f------ take it anymore. >Bitch sister >Always called me names and hit me whenever she was stressed/ felt like it >Finally hit back and give her stitches >Police are called, but I'm let off with a 108 KB JPG warning >This was last August >Go through a period of ignoring each other >Earlier May this year >Starts kicking my door and making vomit noises when I pass her >lgnore this >She starts to get more confident and starts shoving and hitting me >Punch her in the face whenever she does >Runs off to my parents to tell on me whenever I retaliate >Parents always act like I'm in the wrong even they agree that she hit first Why won't they all die already?
: Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)08:38:03 No.859412865 I can't f------ take it anymore. >Bitch sister >Always called me names and hit me whenever she was stressed/ felt like it >Finally hit back and give her stitches >Police are called, but I'm let off with a 108 KB JPG warning >This was last August >Go through a period of ignoring each other >Earlier May this year >Starts kicking my door and making vomit noises when I pass her >lgnore this >She starts to get more confident and starts shoving and hitting me >Punch her in the face whenever she does >Runs off to my parents to tell on me whenever I retaliate >Parents always act like I'm in the wrong even they agree that she hit first Why won't they all die already?

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Anon spooks some coppers | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Pranking Open Carriers 07/21/21(Wed)13:15:48 No.50014309 >be me >going to my favorite kinda pricy hot chicken joint >gotta get me a hot chicken sandwich and some greens mmm >see a diverse group of six or so former- military types all open carrying duty 12 KB JPG pistols >one if them has this ridiculous leg rig >another has a f------ MED KIT BELT >stifle laughter >these guys look like they just left Fallujah, seem about as on edge too >when we get our chicken buddy goes back outside to ask why they are dressed like that >they are super snarky and basically admit they are off duty cops >musing about how I could probably get the drop on them and execute all 6 with my cc g19 without one of them drawing >have an idea >as we leave throw a couple firecrackers from my car at them >activate sheepdog.exe >they all jolt into action >it's nothing >kek You too can throw firecrackers at on-edge sheepdogs. It's probably legal. How do you f--- with OCers?
: Anonymous Pranking Open Carriers 07/21/21(Wed)13:15:48 No.50014309 >be me >going to my favorite kinda pricy hot chicken joint >gotta get me a hot chicken sandwich and some greens mmm >see a diverse group of six or so former- military types all open carrying duty 12 KB JPG pistols >one if them has this ridiculous leg rig >another has a f------ MED KIT BELT >stifle laughter >these guys look like they just left Fallujah, seem about as on edge too >when we get our chicken buddy goes back outside to ask why they are dressed like that >they are super snarky and basically admit they are off duty cops >musing about how I could probably get the drop on them and execute all 6 with my cc g19 without one of them drawing >have an idea >as we leave throw a couple firecrackers from my car at them >activate sheepdog.exe >they all jolt into action >it's nothing >kek You too can throw firecrackers at on-edge sheepdogs. It's probably legal. How do you f--- with OCers?

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Duality of Man | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)15:51:01 No.64659427 >all men talk about is sex >all men think about is sex >the only way men can show affection is through sex a sexless relationship with a moid is impossible 1.28 MB PNG : Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)16:13:49 No.64659708 Реерее роороо :DDDD 62 КВ ЈPG
: Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)15:51:01 No.64659427 >all men talk about is sex >all men think about is sex >the only way men can show affection is through sex a sexless relationship with a moid is impossible 1.28 MB PNG : Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)16:13:49 No.64659708 Реерее роороо :DDDD 62 КВ ЈPG

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Anon is a Chad and he must suffer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)16:16:07 No.6465580- >be me >on antidepressants >can't coom >f--- some bitch knowing nothing will come out >a week later.. >"anon! I'm pregnant" 113 KB JPG : Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)16:20:16 No.64655846 : Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)16:47:25 No.64656097 >>64655804 (OP) # Paternity test. Very likely it's not yours. >>64656105 # : Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)16:48:16 No.64656105 >>64656097 # Quiet Anon, Chad must suffer for g-----------. : Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)16:49:02 No.64656111 youre so stupid anon, you should use a condom but youre so, so stupid that you just ruined your life : Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)16:50:20 No.64656126 >>64655804 (OP) # Congratulations! (if the child is white)
: Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)16:16:07 No.6465580- >be me >on antidepressants >can't coom >f--- some bitch knowing nothing will come out >a week later.. >"anon! I'm pregnant" 113 KB JPG : Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)16:20:16 No.64655846 : Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)16:47:25 No.64656097 >>64655804 (OP) # Paternity test. Very likely it's not yours. >>64656105 # : Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)16:48:16 No.64656105 >>64656097 # Quiet Anon, Chad must suffer for g-----------. : Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)16:49:02 No.64656111 youre so stupid anon, you should use a condom but youre so, so stupid that you just ruined your life : Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)16:50:20 No.64656126 >>64655804 (OP) # Congratulations! (if the child is white)

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anon gets advice | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/22/21(Thu)01:44:02 No.859441579 >be me >ask question about weed >"rope n-----" >"kys f-----" >"show a------" >go to reddit >ask same question 27 KB JPG >get good advice 2 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 07/22/21(Thu)01:44:02 No.859441579 >be me >ask question about weed >"rope n-----" >"kys f-----" >"show a------" >go to reddit >ask same question 27 KB JPG >get good advice 2 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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More than a feeling | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)10:17:30 No.859416630 >l message you for the s--- and giggles >we play a few games and talk >goes well and we end up becoming good pals >time goes by and covid settles down >decide we should meet up and hang out in person >we hit it off even in real life >we go to a bar to try and score some p--- >you hand me a drink as im scoping around >drink it >dontfeelsogood.jpg >black out >wake up in a ice bath >feel a pain in my right hip >sees stitches >mfw this was a long con to harvest my kidneys
: Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)10:17:30 No.859416630 >l message you for the s--- and giggles >we play a few games and talk >goes well and we end up becoming good pals >time goes by and covid settles down >decide we should meet up and hang out in person >we hit it off even in real life >we go to a bar to try and score some p--- >you hand me a drink as im scoping around >drink it >dontfeelsogood.jpg >black out >wake up in a ice bath >feel a pain in my right hip >sees stitches >mfw this was a long con to harvest my kidneys

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Anon dislikes Elne | /r/Greentext

>me BLEACH >30 >finally not living in my own filth/parents' basement 401 KB JPG >rainbowskeepfallingonmyhead.mp4 >have a big boy job and my own place >think to myself Anon, we are adult now, it's time to move on >make le deddit account >mostly normie s--- >discover d/greentext >lol normies sharing 4chan masterpieces >see some stupid dedditer "Elne" pic related >ffw now permanently blind and back in my own filth in parents' basement F--- you Elne
>me BLEACH >30 >finally not living in my own filth/parents' basement 401 KB JPG >rainbowskeepfallingonmyhead.mp4 >have a big boy job and my own place >think to myself Anon, we are adult now, it's time to move on >make le deddit account >mostly normie s--- >discover d/greentext >lol normies sharing 4chan masterpieces >see some stupid dedditer "Elne" pic related >ffw now permanently blind and back in my own filth in parents' basement F--- you Elne

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