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anon got the virus | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)17:59:35 No.859435707 >Got tested for coronavirus today >Company policy, whatever >They stuck a swab up my nose >feelsbadman.jpg >all done, don't have to worry about it now 519 KB PNG >OCD kicks in >feeling the need of an equal stimulus on the other side of the nose >literally fighting against the impulse of stabbing my face with a pencil what should I do /b/?
: Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)17:59:35 No.859435707 >Got tested for coronavirus today >Company policy, whatever >They stuck a swab up my nose >feelsbadman.jpg >all done, don't have to worry about it now 519 KB PNG >OCD kicks in >feeling the need of an equal stimulus on the other side of the nose >literally fighting against the impulse of stabbing my face with a pencil what should I do /b/?

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Tranon gets mad | /r/Greentext

File: was were.jpg (6 KB, 192x185) O T----- name Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)21:47:49 No.64660105 ► >Be me, t----- >Finally tell family, ask them to call me Lily >None of them really care either way >Little brother has a friend called Lily >Starts calling me "Lily with a Willy" >Rest of family thinks it's funny, also call me that >Over time it spreads, basically everyone I know through family calls me that It's been three years and I've had bottom surgery but they still call me it. I'm gonna go 41% WASWERE [Return] [Catalog] [Top] [Update] [ OAuto] [Post a Reply]
File: was were.jpg (6 KB, 192x185) O T----- name Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)21:47:49 No.64660105 ► >Be me, t----- >Finally tell family, ask them to call me Lily >None of them really care either way >Little brother has a friend called Lily >Starts calling me "Lily with a Willy" >Rest of family thinks it's funny, also call me that >Over time it spreads, basically everyone I know through family calls me that It's been three years and I've had bottom surgery but they still call me it. I'm gonna go 41% WASWERE [Return] [Catalog] [Top] [Update] [ OAuto] [Post a Reply]

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Anon discovers the dead Kennedy’s | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/04/21(Sun)23:32:32 No.104625464 >The dead Kennedy's were an extremely political punk rock band from 1978-1986 >they were so political most record shops refused to stock their records >their name is literally mocking the death of president Kennedy >mfw I realize what they could have done 21 KB JPG to minorities, recent elections, ect.
: Anonymous 07/04/21(Sun)23:32:32 No.104625464 >The dead Kennedy's were an extremely political punk rock band from 1978-1986 >they were so political most record shops refused to stock their records >their name is literally mocking the death of president Kennedy >mfw I realize what they could have done 21 KB JPG to minorities, recent elections, ect.

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Anon trolls demon back to hell | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/19/21(Mon)01:23:57 No.29262884 >be me >long time lurker on this board >decide to try the arts goetia because why not? >perform the ritual and decided to summon Stolas 119 KB JPG >room gets strangely cold >decide to look into the circle and yell sneed at him >rooms goes back to normal How can I keep trolling demons? : Anonymous 07/19/21(Mon)01:35:14 No.29262999 >>29262884 (OP) # I swear I already saw some deranged autist posting on /x/ how he is beating up ghosts in the astral and threatened to r--- lilith and her daughters and now OP, yet another degenerate, starts f------ with spiritual beings. Keep it up you retards and you will soon bring upon us the end of the world. How fitting it would be if the day of apocalypse would be accelerated by societal outcasts. >>29263082 # >>29263218 # >>29263225 # >>29263414 # >>29263463 # >>29263501 # >>29263604 # >>29264020 # >>29264039 # >>29264838 # >>29264901 # >>29265160 # >>29268983 # >>29269082 # >>29269371 #
: Anonymous 07/19/21(Mon)01:23:57 No.29262884 >be me >long time lurker on this board >decide to try the arts goetia because why not? >perform the ritual and decided to summon Stolas 119 KB JPG >room gets strangely cold >decide to look into the circle and yell sneed at him >rooms goes back to normal How can I keep trolling demons? : Anonymous 07/19/21(Mon)01:35:14 No.29262999 >>29262884 (OP) # I swear I already saw some deranged autist posting on /x/ how he is beating up ghosts in the astral and threatened to r--- lilith and her daughters and now OP, yet another degenerate, starts f------ with spiritual beings. Keep it up you retards and you will soon bring upon us the end of the world. How fitting it would be if the day of apocalypse would be accelerated by societal outcasts. >>29263082 # >>29263218 # >>29263225 # >>29263414 # >>29263463 # >>29263501 # >>29263604 # >>29264020 # >>29264039 # >>29264838 # >>29264901 # >>29265160 # >>29268983 # >>29269082 # >>29269371 #

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Thought this would take a turn for the worse. | /r/Greentext

File: 8dla7zh7h6461.jpg (37 KB, 459x428) O Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)18:31:50 No.859421852 >be me, 35, medical caregiver for mentally disabled people >people often contract me to take care of their disabled relatives when they want to take a vacation >one day, a family hires me, they have a 22 year old daughter with the mental age of 4 >tell me where everything is, living expenses will be covered >they introduce me to her, while she plays with plush-toys in her room >tell me she is really clingy and that she has no sense of shame or anything, so im prepared >they leave, first evening without trouble, she is a messy eater, but not aggressive as others >days pass, we play and make some little excursions in the neighborhood >come near town square, wanna shop for groceries >suddenly, she undresses, pullover, shirt, everything gone >people stop, and stare >some guys whistle >my heartbeat goes through the roof >try my best to cover her, leave in a hurry >relax later with her on the couch, after I went shopping alone >cuddle time >remember her nice breasts >r----------- >f------ hate myself
File: 8dla7zh7h6461.jpg (37 KB, 459x428) O Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)18:31:50 No.859421852 >be me, 35, medical caregiver for mentally disabled people >people often contract me to take care of their disabled relatives when they want to take a vacation >one day, a family hires me, they have a 22 year old daughter with the mental age of 4 >tell me where everything is, living expenses will be covered >they introduce me to her, while she plays with plush-toys in her room >tell me she is really clingy and that she has no sense of shame or anything, so im prepared >they leave, first evening without trouble, she is a messy eater, but not aggressive as others >days pass, we play and make some little excursions in the neighborhood >come near town square, wanna shop for groceries >suddenly, she undresses, pullover, shirt, everything gone >people stop, and stare >some guys whistle >my heartbeat goes through the roof >try my best to cover her, leave in a hurry >relax later with her on the couch, after I went shopping alone >cuddle time >remember her nice breasts >r----------- >f------ hate myself

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Anon owes the wrong people money | /r/Greentext

>be me >be Muggle >daughter is hot 10/10 wiz kid genius >send her to Hogwarts because that's what you do >she's very talented 1.05 MB JPG >good for her >tri wizard tournament >Dumbledore kidnapps my daughter, ties her up and throws her into the lake to drown as part of a Tri Wizard challenge for some cheeky bastard named Harry Potter >to this day Dumbledor keeps sending owls telling me to pay school fees >still haven't got my baby girl back >the owls keep coming
>be me >be Muggle >daughter is hot 10/10 wiz kid genius >send her to Hogwarts because that's what you do >she's very talented 1.05 MB JPG >good for her >tri wizard tournament >Dumbledore kidnapps my daughter, ties her up and throws her into the lake to drown as part of a Tri Wizard challenge for some cheeky bastard named Harry Potter >to this day Dumbledor keeps sending owls telling me to pay school fees >still haven't got my baby girl back >the owls keep coming

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Anon Tries to Feed the Homeless | /r/Greentext


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Anon describing humans | /r/Greentext


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Plague Inc. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)04:21:50 No.64653353 >Noticed rats in the bushes downtown >Started leaving lots of waste food for them >Bread, cakes, meat, etc whatever I get for free from the foodbank >Top up their water bowl every day 1.56 MB WEBM I've been doing this for a couple of months and my pet ratties are getting so big! And they've got lots of little babies now too. : Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)04:24:50 No.64653370 >>64653353 (OP) # You've managed to find the most wholesome yet destructive community activity I've seen. Well done. : Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)04:28:43 No.64653391 >>64653353 (OP) # based Rat King
: Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)04:21:50 No.64653353 >Noticed rats in the bushes downtown >Started leaving lots of waste food for them >Bread, cakes, meat, etc whatever I get for free from the foodbank >Top up their water bowl every day 1.56 MB WEBM I've been doing this for a couple of months and my pet ratties are getting so big! And they've got lots of little babies now too. : Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)04:24:50 No.64653370 >>64653353 (OP) # You've managed to find the most wholesome yet destructive community activity I've seen. Well done. : Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)04:28:43 No.64653391 >>64653353 (OP) # based Rat King

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Break from tradition | /r/Greentext


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anon has ADHD | /r/Greentext


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Anon like the Johnny test reboot | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/18/21(Sun)18:23:06 No.124513770 >Listened to criticism and gave improvements to virtually everything over the original's last few seasons. >Simple silly slapstick show you can just turn your brain off and enjoy the crazy ride. >Doesn't pander to a side of politics or lecture you 80 KB JPG or obsess over "feelings". >Has the balls to make fun of itself and the poor production values of the original. >Manages to make retards seethe for simply existing. Yeah, I'm thinking this reboot is based.
: Anonymous 07/18/21(Sun)18:23:06 No.124513770 >Listened to criticism and gave improvements to virtually everything over the original's last few seasons. >Simple silly slapstick show you can just turn your brain off and enjoy the crazy ride. >Doesn't pander to a side of politics or lecture you 80 KB JPG or obsess over "feelings". >Has the balls to make fun of itself and the poor production values of the original. >Manages to make retards seethe for simply existing. Yeah, I'm thinking this reboot is based.

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Anon is a chad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/17/21(Sat)01:36:34 No.859149129 >watching YouTube >open video >woman's voice >close video 20 KB JPG
: Anonymous 07/17/21(Sat)01:36:34 No.859149129 >watching YouTube >open video >woman's voice >close video 20 KB JPG

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Anon wants to be /fit/ | /r/Greentext

File: annoy pepe.png (130 KB, 360x360) Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)19:28:16 No.62666743 >>62666920 >>62668226 >>62668277 >>62668318 >>62668412 >>62668413 >>62668417 >>62668526 >>62669309 >Try to lose weight >mom cooks my favorite food >dad buys my favorite beer Isit even possible to lose weight if you don't live alone? O Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)19:41:11 No.62666883 Just eat a smaller portion and don't drink the beer
File: annoy pepe.png (130 KB, 360x360) Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)19:28:16 No.62666743 >>62666920 >>62668226 >>62668277 >>62668318 >>62668412 >>62668413 >>62668417 >>62668526 >>62669309 >Try to lose weight >mom cooks my favorite food >dad buys my favorite beer Isit even possible to lose weight if you don't live alone? O Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)19:41:11 No.62666883 Just eat a smaller portion and don't drink the beer

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Anon is sus | /r/Greentext


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Anon has intentions | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)00:09:11 No.64651866 GTA V has messed me up >Driving down freeway >Notice motorcyclist >Get behind him and start going full speed >Snap out of it a fair distance away from him 204 KB JPG >I think people saw me and knew of my intentions 2 Replies / 2 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)00:09:11 No.64651866 GTA V has messed me up >Driving down freeway >Notice motorcyclist >Get behind him and start going full speed >Snap out of it a fair distance away from him 204 KB JPG >I think people saw me and knew of my intentions 2 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Chadanon goes to the grocery store | /r/Greentext

File: b3b9e29f70ae2b7451ece3dac6db55.jpg (43 KB, 513x600) O Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)00:25:30 No.859398128 >be me at the grocery store >ask the cashier why do they sell all of this stuff, I dont need it >leave without any explanation
File: b3b9e29f70ae2b7451ece3dac6db55.jpg (43 KB, 513x600) O Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)00:25:30 No.859398128 >be me at the grocery store >ask the cashier why do they sell all of this stuff, I dont need it >leave without any explanation

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Anon has a fetish | /r/Greentext


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Anon saves money | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/22/21(Thu)01:29:48 No.859414685 >be me, trying to lose virginity >go on escort site and see the prices >"I can't afford this" >cheapest w---- is $250 for 30 minutes 45 KB JPG >l get an idea >after some e-savvyness I find her socials >I contact her and we somehow hit it off >after weeks of talking we meet up for dinner at a restaurant >things go good so we head back to her place and things get steamy >l bust in 10 minutes and can't get it back up again so she disappointedly lets me spend the night >leave after taking a shower and never see her again and she blocks me >l get home and total up my expenses from courting this escort >$4.93 for data,$213.67 for dinner, $20 for uber totalling $238.60 >mfw when I saved $11 and still got to have sex with the escort
: Anonymous 07/22/21(Thu)01:29:48 No.859414685 >be me, trying to lose virginity >go on escort site and see the prices >"I can't afford this" >cheapest w---- is $250 for 30 minutes 45 KB JPG >l get an idea >after some e-savvyness I find her socials >I contact her and we somehow hit it off >after weeks of talking we meet up for dinner at a restaurant >things go good so we head back to her place and things get steamy >l bust in 10 minutes and can't get it back up again so she disappointedly lets me spend the night >leave after taking a shower and never see her again and she blocks me >l get home and total up my expenses from courting this escort >$4.93 for data,$213.67 for dinner, $20 for uber totalling $238.60 >mfw when I saved $11 and still got to have sex with the escort

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Lactose Intolerant | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)16:27:38 No.64646556 >go for a walk >walk into a store >get a carton of milk >go outside and open milk >walk around while drinking it >enjoying life >everyone starts looking at me >few people start laughing 76 KB JPG >keep drinking milk what the f--- is wrong with people can i not drink milk?
: Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)16:27:38 No.64646556 >go for a walk >walk into a store >get a carton of milk >go outside and open milk >walk around while drinking it >enjoying life >everyone starts looking at me >few people start laughing 76 KB JPG >keep drinking milk what the f--- is wrong with people can i not drink milk?

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