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Anon has a funny name | /r/Greentext


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Anon is an Anarchist | /r/Greentext


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Anon becomes a ghost buster | /r/Greentext


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Foreigners Hate Anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/15/21(Thu)20:16:37 No.16426145 >be me >go to Italy >ask for macn cheese >they don't have it and laugh at me Has this s--- happened to anyone else? It's like foreign countries don't know how to make their own food. 10 KB JPG : Anonymous 07/15/21(Thu)20:36:40 No.16426205 >>16426145 (OP) # (OP) That's because you didn't ask them in their own language. Next time, say "macron du fromage" >>16426226 #
: Anonymous 07/15/21(Thu)20:16:37 No.16426145 >be me >go to Italy >ask for macn cheese >they don't have it and laugh at me Has this s--- happened to anyone else? It's like foreign countries don't know how to make their own food. 10 KB JPG : Anonymous 07/15/21(Thu)20:36:40 No.16426205 >>16426145 (OP) # (OP) That's because you didn't ask them in their own language. Next time, say "macron du fromage" >>16426226 #

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Anon gets a mental coach | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)11:36:31 No.859348001 This is a short story about never trusting mental coaches >be me >nervous about upcoming presentation >speak to mental coach >'just imagine everyone in the room is naked for the lulz' >feel better equipped with this technique Presentation day arrives >ladies and gentlement please welcome Anon >applause >step up to the podium >look into the audience >just imagine everyone in the room is naked >instantbonerbulge.gif >get fired for sexual intimidation f------ mental coaches man
Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)11:36:31 No.859348001 This is a short story about never trusting mental coaches >be me >nervous about upcoming presentation >speak to mental coach >'just imagine everyone in the room is naked for the lulz' >feel better equipped with this technique Presentation day arrives >ladies and gentlement please welcome Anon >applause >step up to the podium >look into the audience >just imagine everyone in the room is naked >instantbonerbulge.gif >get fired for sexual intimidation f------ mental coaches man

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Anon asks a question | /r/Greentext

peaher.jpg (56 KB, 640x426) google iqdb Anonymous (ID: WNdy4bK5 ) 1 hour ago No.550424805 >>550425229 Teacher Stories: Ed >First day of high school >Have 8/10 female english teacher in her mid 20s >Says she wants us to get to know her >Asks each kid to write down a question for her and drop it in box >Don't need to sign name if you don't want >l write "Do you swallow?" >Drop paper in box >She opens box and starts answering questions >Gets to my scrap of paper >"Tm not going to read this one out loud. But the answer is yes." >buckets thinking about that for months Anonymous (ID: eXiSUst ) 1 hour ago No.550425229 >>550425453 >>550424805 (OP) 10/10
peaher.jpg (56 KB, 640x426) google iqdb Anonymous (ID: WNdy4bK5 ) 1 hour ago No.550424805 >>550425229 Teacher Stories: Ed >First day of high school >Have 8/10 female english teacher in her mid 20s >Says she wants us to get to know her >Asks each kid to write down a question for her and drop it in box >Don't need to sign name if you don't want >l write "Do you swallow?" >Drop paper in box >She opens box and starts answering questions >Gets to my scrap of paper >"Tm not going to read this one out loud. But the answer is yes." >buckets thinking about that for months Anonymous (ID: eXiSUst ) 1 hour ago No.550425229 >>550425453 >>550424805 (OP) 10/10

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Anon feels disgusted | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/16/18(Sun)06:03:13 No.48156298 >when someone says "doggo" 16 KB JPG 12 Replies / 3 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 09/16/18(Sun)06:03:13 No.48156298 >when someone says "doggo" 16 KB JPG 12 Replies / 3 Images View Thread

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Anon likes his dad’s cooking | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/19/21(Mon)11:05:59 No.16442307 >Mom cooks "alright" dishes daily to feed the family >Holiday comes around >Dad cooks >Ends up being one of the best f------ dishes of all time 37 KB JPG How do dads do this?
: Anonymous 07/19/21(Mon)11:05:59 No.16442307 >Mom cooks "alright" dishes daily to feed the family >Holiday comes around >Dad cooks >Ends up being one of the best f------ dishes of all time 37 KB JPG How do dads do this?

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Anon has memory issues | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/26/18(Thu)21:20:08 No.775417615 >be me >have memory loss >get a gf >everything is good >get drafted for the military >my girl is waiting for me >serve my time >over my time in the service I forgot I had a gf >go on living life as normal >grow my hair out and a beard >decide to visit my hometown >go to the local pub >meet a really nice bartender girl >she starts telling me how her husband is in the military >tells me she's lonely >icanfixthat.jpeg >we head to her place >f--- like rabbits >finish up and pass out >next morning she's making breakfast >as I'm laying in bed I notice a picture >it's her and her husband >examine it closely >it's me without my beard and long hair >everything suddenly comes back to me >l just f----- my own wife >l just cucked myself >forget about it two weeks later
Anonymous 07/26/18(Thu)21:20:08 No.775417615 >be me >have memory loss >get a gf >everything is good >get drafted for the military >my girl is waiting for me >serve my time >over my time in the service I forgot I had a gf >go on living life as normal >grow my hair out and a beard >decide to visit my hometown >go to the local pub >meet a really nice bartender girl >she starts telling me how her husband is in the military >tells me she's lonely >icanfixthat.jpeg >we head to her place >f--- like rabbits >finish up and pass out >next morning she's making breakfast >as I'm laying in bed I notice a picture >it's her and her husband >examine it closely >it's me without my beard and long hair >everything suddenly comes back to me >l just f----- my own wife >l just cucked myself >forget about it two weeks later

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Anon comes back to reality | /r/Greentext


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anon talks politics | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/08/21(Mon)00:53:13 No.849071227 >be me >l wanna talk about some politics >go to /pol/ >"Jewish people and minorities are the cause of 126 KB PNG the worlds issues." >w--.jpg >go to twitter >"all white people are inherently racist and homophobic." >w-- that's not true >go to reddit >"communism has never failed" >have you people taken a single history class?? >go to facebook >"if I see another sheep wearing a mask I'm going to gun them down" >huh??? What happened to normal political views?
: Anonymous 03/08/21(Mon)00:53:13 No.849071227 >be me >l wanna talk about some politics >go to /pol/ >"Jewish people and minorities are the cause of 126 KB PNG the worlds issues." >w--.jpg >go to twitter >"all white people are inherently racist and homophobic." >w-- that's not true >go to reddit >"communism has never failed" >have you people taken a single history class?? >go to facebook >"if I see another sheep wearing a mask I'm going to gun them down" >huh??? What happened to normal political views?

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Anon attracts land whales | /r/Greentext

File: nowwhat.png (117 KB, 490x586) O Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)19:34:11 No.64644989 [Reply] >be chubby white boy >get ignored by females >tired of it >start working out for 2 years 6x per week on a strict diet >start feeling slightly better >clothes starts fitting tighter >get somewhat swole >today >class as usual >there is a 150cm 120kg landwhale sitting across the room from my seat >see her struggle to stand up >she wobbles over to me with her stumpy legs >ΝΟΝΟΝΟΝΟΝΟ jpg >stands in front of my desk >"hey, do you wanna do something this weekend? We could go do x" >politely decline her >she starts throwing a small fit but then leaves >silence in the rest of the room Lads, is this what working on yourself does? How do I reset my progress?
File: nowwhat.png (117 KB, 490x586) O Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)19:34:11 No.64644989 [Reply] >be chubby white boy >get ignored by females >tired of it >start working out for 2 years 6x per week on a strict diet >start feeling slightly better >clothes starts fitting tighter >get somewhat swole >today >class as usual >there is a 150cm 120kg landwhale sitting across the room from my seat >see her struggle to stand up >she wobbles over to me with her stumpy legs >ΝΟΝΟΝΟΝΟΝΟ jpg >stands in front of my desk >"hey, do you wanna do something this weekend? We could go do x" >politely decline her >she starts throwing a small fit but then leaves >silence in the rest of the room Lads, is this what working on yourself does? How do I reset my progress?

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Desperate Dancing | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)14:56:03 No.64645786 here is a tip for you horny virgins >go to a student bar type dance club >sit by yourself and sip your drink >after some time the club get's fuller and fuller >people will sit around you because their drunk and need a break >they will ask you why you are sitting by yourself >they will offer you to party/dance with them >???? >profit happened to me several times and I am a super sperg
: Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)14:56:03 No.64645786 here is a tip for you horny virgins >go to a student bar type dance club >sit by yourself and sip your drink >after some time the club get's fuller and fuller >people will sit around you because their drunk and need a break >they will ask you why you are sitting by yourself >they will offer you to party/dance with them >???? >profit happened to me several times and I am a super sperg

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Anon Hates Women | /r/Greentext


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You come at the king, you best not miss | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)15:08:02 No.62662469 >be me 5'10 >at party chatting to 3 qts and a 6'1 lanklet know his height cos we used to play sports together >qts ask lanklet how tall he is >"i'm 5'11" bastard gives me the 33 KB JPG biggest s--- eating grin >qts turn to me >jump in before they can ask me >"that's not possible i'm 5'6 so you gotta be 5'9 at at most" >qts burst out laughing, lanklet starts spurting that he's actually 6'1 >"no way why would anon lie about being 5'6" Dont f--- with me lanklets i can bring you down to my level
: Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)15:08:02 No.62662469 >be me 5'10 >at party chatting to 3 qts and a 6'1 lanklet know his height cos we used to play sports together >qts ask lanklet how tall he is >"i'm 5'11" bastard gives me the 33 KB JPG biggest s--- eating grin >qts turn to me >jump in before they can ask me >"that's not possible i'm 5'6 so you gotta be 5'9 at at most" >qts burst out laughing, lanklet starts spurting that he's actually 6'1 >"no way why would anon lie about being 5'6" Dont f--- with me lanklets i can bring you down to my level

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Anon has a new fetish | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/10/20(Thu)12:24:26 No.835769198 >be me, mid twenties >always late for work >idea.bat >start jerking off white l'm taking my morning s--- to save time >going well, few months now and 21 KB JPG I'm late much less >one morning, do my business, take a s--- and j-------, get ready for work >walk outside to my car >smell dog s--- >boner God have mercy on me
: Anonymous 09/10/20(Thu)12:24:26 No.835769198 >be me, mid twenties >always late for work >idea.bat >start jerking off white l'm taking my morning s--- to save time >going well, few months now and 21 KB JPG I'm late much less >one morning, do my business, take a s--- and j-------, get ready for work >walk outside to my car >smell dog s--- >boner God have mercy on me

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Anon & Mr. Pringles | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)12:32:28 No.64641307 >be me >Hanging with friends >We go out to get snacks >Grab some candy, a drink, and some Pringles >We get back to his place >Start eating chips 83 KB JPG >Suddenly horny >Look at Pringles can >Intentionally leave chips in can so I bring it home with me >Get home >Still horny >Gather all that is needed and begin building makeshift fleshlight >Ponder my life choices halfway through but I've gone too far to turn back >Look at Mr. Pringles >He looks at me >Obviously f--- the can >Coom >Clean up a stash can away There's no point to this except I just made your dumbass read about me f------ a can of Pringles.
: Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)12:32:28 No.64641307 >be me >Hanging with friends >We go out to get snacks >Grab some candy, a drink, and some Pringles >We get back to his place >Start eating chips 83 KB JPG >Suddenly horny >Look at Pringles can >Intentionally leave chips in can so I bring it home with me >Get home >Still horny >Gather all that is needed and begin building makeshift fleshlight >Ponder my life choices halfway through but I've gone too far to turn back >Look at Mr. Pringles >He looks at me >Obviously f--- the can >Coom >Clean up a stash can away There's no point to this except I just made your dumbass read about me f------ a can of Pringles.

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Anon hates the British | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/10/21(Sat)10:46:45 No.858729928 >be me >making fun of british people is funny >working register at fast food place >british couple walks in, I take their order >strong British accent >trying really hard not to laugh 34 KB JPG >one of them says "water" >burst out laughing, both at the accent and my own autism >can't stop >coworker has to finish taking their order >manager p----- at me >still laughing F--- British people
: Anonymous 07/10/21(Sat)10:46:45 No.858729928 >be me >making fun of british people is funny >working register at fast food place >british couple walks in, I take their order >strong British accent >trying really hard not to laugh 34 KB JPG >one of them says "water" >burst out laughing, both at the accent and my own autism >can't stop >coworker has to finish taking their order >manager p----- at me >still laughing F--- British people

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The hidden fridge secret | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/24/18(Sun)06:37:57 No.46325141 >Be me >mom locks the fridge >looking for keys >open high cabinet >see a burnt meth pipe >oh f--- 22 КВ ЈPG >take a few hits >confront my mom >getmyassbeat.jpg
: Anonymous 06/24/18(Sun)06:37:57 No.46325141 >Be me >mom locks the fridge >looking for keys >open high cabinet >see a burnt meth pipe >oh f--- 22 КВ ЈPG >take a few hits >confront my mom >getmyassbeat.jpg

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anon awakend once again | /r/Greentext

File: 148ie3d59mq01.jpg (123 KB, 1756x1080) Anonymous 07/20/21 (Tue)01:40:49 No.564396095 >>564396239 >be me >see zeldas ass in the ending cutscene >immediately start searching "zelda p---" >jerk one off to zelda and the water girl w-- is wrong with me? Anonymous 07/20/21 (Tue)01:41:52 No.564396208 congratulations, you're a typical human male with a healthy libido you sick FREAK
File: 148ie3d59mq01.jpg (123 KB, 1756x1080) Anonymous 07/20/21 (Tue)01:40:49 No.564396095 >>564396239 >be me >see zeldas ass in the ending cutscene >immediately start searching "zelda p---" >jerk one off to zelda and the water girl w-- is wrong with me? Anonymous 07/20/21 (Tue)01:41:52 No.564396208 congratulations, you're a typical human male with a healthy libido you sick FREAK

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