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Anon is a menace to society | /r/Greentext

File: ony.gif (1.06 MB, 200x200) Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)18:33:23 No.4617848 >>4617951 >>4617973 >SIR YOU HAVE TO PAY FOR YOUR MEAL!!! >SIR YOU CAN'T LEAVE WITHOUT PAYING >WHY?!?! BECAUSE.... YOU JUST CAN'T!!! IT'S A CRIME!!!! >YOUR BILL IS $158.91 SO PAY IT OR ELSE!!!! >SIR GET BACK HERE YOU CAN'T LEAVE YOU AREN'T ALLOWED TO LEAVE WITHOUT PAYING FOR THE MEAL WE WORKED SO HARD TO COOK FOR YOU!!!! >SIR YOU CANNOT STEAL TIPS OFF OTHER CUSTOMERS' TABLES GET BACK HERE!!!!!
File: ony.gif (1.06 MB, 200x200) Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)18:33:23 No.4617848 >>4617951 >>4617973 >SIR YOU HAVE TO PAY FOR YOUR MEAL!!! >SIR YOU CAN'T LEAVE WITHOUT PAYING >WHY?!?! BECAUSE.... YOU JUST CAN'T!!! IT'S A CRIME!!!! >YOUR BILL IS $158.91 SO PAY IT OR ELSE!!!! >SIR GET BACK HERE YOU CAN'T LEAVE YOU AREN'T ALLOWED TO LEAVE WITHOUT PAYING FOR THE MEAL WE WORKED SO HARD TO COOK FOR YOU!!!! >SIR YOU CANNOT STEAL TIPS OFF OTHER CUSTOMERS' TABLES GET BACK HERE!!!!!

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Anon learns | /r/Greentext


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Anon gets depanted | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)20:28:00 No.859382879 >Be me,16 in highschool >Talking to girl at summer camp >Friend pants me and my underwear come down >girl runs away at sight of my d--- >considered suicide after that one 22 KB JPG
: Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)20:28:00 No.859382879 >Be me,16 in highschool >Talking to girl at summer camp >Friend pants me and my underwear come down >girl runs away at sight of my d--- >considered suicide after that one 22 KB JPG

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Anon has a drink gater | /r/Greentext

File: 20210720_235217.jpg (3.03 MB, 4128x3096) O Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)22:58:22 No.62669131 ► >62669210 >>62669280 >>62669329 >My GF got me a Drink Gater >Bring Drink Gater to the gym >Struggling to get my last rep in >See Drink Gater >Drink Gater reminds me of GF, smile and complete last rep Thanks, Drink Gater :)
File: 20210720_235217.jpg (3.03 MB, 4128x3096) O Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)22:58:22 No.62669131 ► >62669210 >>62669280 >>62669329 >My GF got me a Drink Gater >Bring Drink Gater to the gym >Struggling to get my last rep in >See Drink Gater >Drink Gater reminds me of GF, smile and complete last rep Thanks, Drink Gater :)

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Persona non grata | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)15:28:23 No.64646087 >gf gets kicked out from the pyramid scheme she was part of for not moving enough product >all those daily positivity posts about loving one's self and taking care of our bodies stop >mfw you realize none of those posts were genuine 300 КВ PNG >she never cared about those overweight single mothers she sold her products to >her whole online persona was fake Never trust women, anon.
: Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)15:28:23 No.64646087 >gf gets kicked out from the pyramid scheme she was part of for not moving enough product >all those daily positivity posts about loving one's self and taking care of our bodies stop >mfw you realize none of those posts were genuine 300 КВ PNG >she never cared about those overweight single mothers she sold her products to >her whole online persona was fake Never trust women, anon.

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Anon loves mosquitoes | /r/Greentext

#1, No. 64650595 7/20/21 9:24:03 PM 445-4455013_see-you-later-vir gins-pepe-png-download-see PNG 860x858 752.6 kB >be me >sleep naked with the window ioen because it's hot as f--- >wake up, ass hurts >find a mosquito bite on my ass cheek >tfw all mosquitos that drink blood are women >tfw I basically got my ass ate by s girl Later virgins.
#1, No. 64650595 7/20/21 9:24:03 PM 445-4455013_see-you-later-vir gins-pepe-png-download-see PNG 860x858 752.6 kB >be me >sleep naked with the window ioen because it's hot as f--- >wake up, ass hurts >find a mosquito bite on my ass cheek >tfw all mosquitos that drink blood are women >tfw I basically got my ass ate by s girl Later virgins.

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Anon is on godmode | /r/Greentext


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Anon has a funny name | /r/Greentext


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Anon is an Anarchist | /r/Greentext


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Anon becomes a ghost buster | /r/Greentext


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Foreigners Hate Anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/15/21(Thu)20:16:37 No.16426145 >be me >go to Italy >ask for macn cheese >they don't have it and laugh at me Has this s--- happened to anyone else? It's like foreign countries don't know how to make their own food. 10 KB JPG : Anonymous 07/15/21(Thu)20:36:40 No.16426205 >>16426145 (OP) # (OP) That's because you didn't ask them in their own language. Next time, say "macron du fromage" >>16426226 #
: Anonymous 07/15/21(Thu)20:16:37 No.16426145 >be me >go to Italy >ask for macn cheese >they don't have it and laugh at me Has this s--- happened to anyone else? It's like foreign countries don't know how to make their own food. 10 KB JPG : Anonymous 07/15/21(Thu)20:36:40 No.16426205 >>16426145 (OP) # (OP) That's because you didn't ask them in their own language. Next time, say "macron du fromage" >>16426226 #

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Anon gets a mental coach | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)11:36:31 No.859348001 This is a short story about never trusting mental coaches >be me >nervous about upcoming presentation >speak to mental coach >'just imagine everyone in the room is naked for the lulz' >feel better equipped with this technique Presentation day arrives >ladies and gentlement please welcome Anon >applause >step up to the podium >look into the audience >just imagine everyone in the room is naked >instantbonerbulge.gif >get fired for sexual intimidation f------ mental coaches man
Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)11:36:31 No.859348001 This is a short story about never trusting mental coaches >be me >nervous about upcoming presentation >speak to mental coach >'just imagine everyone in the room is naked for the lulz' >feel better equipped with this technique Presentation day arrives >ladies and gentlement please welcome Anon >applause >step up to the podium >look into the audience >just imagine everyone in the room is naked >instantbonerbulge.gif >get fired for sexual intimidation f------ mental coaches man

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Anon asks a question | /r/Greentext

peaher.jpg (56 KB, 640x426) google iqdb Anonymous (ID: WNdy4bK5 ) 1 hour ago No.550424805 >>550425229 Teacher Stories: Ed >First day of high school >Have 8/10 female english teacher in her mid 20s >Says she wants us to get to know her >Asks each kid to write down a question for her and drop it in box >Don't need to sign name if you don't want >l write "Do you swallow?" >Drop paper in box >She opens box and starts answering questions >Gets to my scrap of paper >"Tm not going to read this one out loud. But the answer is yes." >buckets thinking about that for months Anonymous (ID: eXiSUst ) 1 hour ago No.550425229 >>550425453 >>550424805 (OP) 10/10
peaher.jpg (56 KB, 640x426) google iqdb Anonymous (ID: WNdy4bK5 ) 1 hour ago No.550424805 >>550425229 Teacher Stories: Ed >First day of high school >Have 8/10 female english teacher in her mid 20s >Says she wants us to get to know her >Asks each kid to write down a question for her and drop it in box >Don't need to sign name if you don't want >l write "Do you swallow?" >Drop paper in box >She opens box and starts answering questions >Gets to my scrap of paper >"Tm not going to read this one out loud. But the answer is yes." >buckets thinking about that for months Anonymous (ID: eXiSUst ) 1 hour ago No.550425229 >>550425453 >>550424805 (OP) 10/10

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Anon feels disgusted | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/16/18(Sun)06:03:13 No.48156298 >when someone says "doggo" 16 KB JPG 12 Replies / 3 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 09/16/18(Sun)06:03:13 No.48156298 >when someone says "doggo" 16 KB JPG 12 Replies / 3 Images View Thread

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Anon likes his dad’s cooking | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/19/21(Mon)11:05:59 No.16442307 >Mom cooks "alright" dishes daily to feed the family >Holiday comes around >Dad cooks >Ends up being one of the best f------ dishes of all time 37 KB JPG How do dads do this?
: Anonymous 07/19/21(Mon)11:05:59 No.16442307 >Mom cooks "alright" dishes daily to feed the family >Holiday comes around >Dad cooks >Ends up being one of the best f------ dishes of all time 37 KB JPG How do dads do this?

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Anon has memory issues | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/26/18(Thu)21:20:08 No.775417615 >be me >have memory loss >get a gf >everything is good >get drafted for the military >my girl is waiting for me >serve my time >over my time in the service I forgot I had a gf >go on living life as normal >grow my hair out and a beard >decide to visit my hometown >go to the local pub >meet a really nice bartender girl >she starts telling me how her husband is in the military >tells me she's lonely >icanfixthat.jpeg >we head to her place >f--- like rabbits >finish up and pass out >next morning she's making breakfast >as I'm laying in bed I notice a picture >it's her and her husband >examine it closely >it's me without my beard and long hair >everything suddenly comes back to me >l just f----- my own wife >l just cucked myself >forget about it two weeks later
Anonymous 07/26/18(Thu)21:20:08 No.775417615 >be me >have memory loss >get a gf >everything is good >get drafted for the military >my girl is waiting for me >serve my time >over my time in the service I forgot I had a gf >go on living life as normal >grow my hair out and a beard >decide to visit my hometown >go to the local pub >meet a really nice bartender girl >she starts telling me how her husband is in the military >tells me she's lonely >icanfixthat.jpeg >we head to her place >f--- like rabbits >finish up and pass out >next morning she's making breakfast >as I'm laying in bed I notice a picture >it's her and her husband >examine it closely >it's me without my beard and long hair >everything suddenly comes back to me >l just f----- my own wife >l just cucked myself >forget about it two weeks later

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Anon comes back to reality | /r/Greentext


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anon talks politics | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/08/21(Mon)00:53:13 No.849071227 >be me >l wanna talk about some politics >go to /pol/ >"Jewish people and minorities are the cause of 126 KB PNG the worlds issues." >w--.jpg >go to twitter >"all white people are inherently racist and homophobic." >w-- that's not true >go to reddit >"communism has never failed" >have you people taken a single history class?? >go to facebook >"if I see another sheep wearing a mask I'm going to gun them down" >huh??? What happened to normal political views?
: Anonymous 03/08/21(Mon)00:53:13 No.849071227 >be me >l wanna talk about some politics >go to /pol/ >"Jewish people and minorities are the cause of 126 KB PNG the worlds issues." >w--.jpg >go to twitter >"all white people are inherently racist and homophobic." >w-- that's not true >go to reddit >"communism has never failed" >have you people taken a single history class?? >go to facebook >"if I see another sheep wearing a mask I'm going to gun them down" >huh??? What happened to normal political views?

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Anon attracts land whales | /r/Greentext

File: nowwhat.png (117 KB, 490x586) O Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)19:34:11 No.64644989 [Reply] >be chubby white boy >get ignored by females >tired of it >start working out for 2 years 6x per week on a strict diet >start feeling slightly better >clothes starts fitting tighter >get somewhat swole >today >class as usual >there is a 150cm 120kg landwhale sitting across the room from my seat >see her struggle to stand up >she wobbles over to me with her stumpy legs >ΝΟΝΟΝΟΝΟΝΟ jpg >stands in front of my desk >"hey, do you wanna do something this weekend? We could go do x" >politely decline her >she starts throwing a small fit but then leaves >silence in the rest of the room Lads, is this what working on yourself does? How do I reset my progress?
File: nowwhat.png (117 KB, 490x586) O Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)19:34:11 No.64644989 [Reply] >be chubby white boy >get ignored by females >tired of it >start working out for 2 years 6x per week on a strict diet >start feeling slightly better >clothes starts fitting tighter >get somewhat swole >today >class as usual >there is a 150cm 120kg landwhale sitting across the room from my seat >see her struggle to stand up >she wobbles over to me with her stumpy legs >ΝΟΝΟΝΟΝΟΝΟ jpg >stands in front of my desk >"hey, do you wanna do something this weekend? We could go do x" >politely decline her >she starts throwing a small fit but then leaves >silence in the rest of the room Lads, is this what working on yourself does? How do I reset my progress?

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Desperate Dancing | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)14:56:03 No.64645786 here is a tip for you horny virgins >go to a student bar type dance club >sit by yourself and sip your drink >after some time the club get's fuller and fuller >people will sit around you because their drunk and need a break >they will ask you why you are sitting by yourself >they will offer you to party/dance with them >???? >profit happened to me several times and I am a super sperg
: Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)14:56:03 No.64645786 here is a tip for you horny virgins >go to a student bar type dance club >sit by yourself and sip your drink >after some time the club get's fuller and fuller >people will sit around you because their drunk and need a break >they will ask you why you are sitting by yourself >they will offer you to party/dance with them >???? >profit happened to me several times and I am a super sperg

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