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Anon gets left on read | /r/Greentext

09/03/13(Tue)21:06 No.39411220 Replies: 39411264 Anonymous File: 1378256793017 png-(11 KB, 634x768, 1336358286402.png) >tfw she doesn't respond to your smoke signals
09/03/13(Tue)21:06 No.39411220 Replies: 39411264 Anonymous File: 1378256793017 png-(11 KB, 634x768, 1336358286402.png) >tfw she doesn't respond to your smoke signals

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Anon is named fucking Thurman | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/05/19(Wed)17:57:40 No.52771831 >one chance at life >parents name you pheonix yes, that is the actual spelling 10 KB JPG : Anonymous 06/05/19(Wed)18:01:50 No.52771891 >>52771831 (OP) # >one chance at life >Thurman I CAN'T EVEN F------ SHORTEN IT REEEEEEEE 114 KB PNG >>52772118 # >>52772175 # >>52772688 # >>52772696 # >>52772722 # >>52773112 # >>52773312 # >>52773328 # >>52773372 # >>52773532 # : Anonymous 06/05/19(Wed)18:17:12 No.52772118 >>52771891 # f------ THURMAN 411 KB JPG >>52772696 # | Anonymous 06/05/19(Wed)18:20:51 No.52772175 >>52771891 # Ahahah sup thurman
: Anonymous 06/05/19(Wed)17:57:40 No.52771831 >one chance at life >parents name you pheonix yes, that is the actual spelling 10 KB JPG : Anonymous 06/05/19(Wed)18:01:50 No.52771891 >>52771831 (OP) # >one chance at life >Thurman I CAN'T EVEN F------ SHORTEN IT REEEEEEEE 114 KB PNG >>52772118 # >>52772175 # >>52772688 # >>52772696 # >>52772722 # >>52773112 # >>52773312 # >>52773328 # >>52773372 # >>52773532 # : Anonymous 06/05/19(Wed)18:17:12 No.52772118 >>52771891 # f------ THURMAN 411 KB JPG >>52772696 # | Anonymous 06/05/19(Wed)18:20:51 No.52772175 >>52771891 # Ahahah sup thurman

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The duality of Anons | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/02/21 (Wed)12:07:15 No.63964729 >im 6'3 >gf is 5'1 5 KB GIF 4 Replies / 2 Images View Thread : Anonymous 06/02/21(Wed)12:27:01 No.63964943 >l'm 5'1 >GF is 6'3 23 KB JPG >>63964966 #
: Anonymous 06/02/21 (Wed)12:07:15 No.63964729 >im 6'3 >gf is 5'1 5 KB GIF 4 Replies / 2 Images View Thread : Anonymous 06/02/21(Wed)12:27:01 No.63964943 >l'm 5'1 >GF is 6'3 23 KB JPG >>63964966 #

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MESMERISING | /r/Greentext

>be me, femanon >have boyfriend since high school >we've been together for years, planning to get married after I finish college >he works as a delivery driver while I take classes 42 KB JPG >poor as f--- so we live in a s----- apartment >doorbell doesn't even work >don't care, I'm happy >l get out of class early one morning and go to surprise him >get home to find him f------ some 3/10 slut on our couch >like this bitch is dog ugly >I flip my s--- and throw them both out >cry for an hour and get drunk >when I get upset I stress shop >he left his wallet behind >fuckyes.gif >spend the next day or so buying s--- with his cards >rack up maybe $400 in charges >buy a $150 steel popcorn maker because why not >get one-day shipping so he won't even be able to notice in time >one day later, I've kind of calmed down >there's a knock on the door >open it, it's the bitch he cheated on me with >still as ugly as a f------ dog >even sounds like a dog too >she's telling me how she thinks she left her f------ bra in the apartment >the nerve of this absolute w---- >she's still talking and I'm about to cut her off >all of a sudden I see a truck pull up into the driveway >UPS >ohfuck.gif >l know that truck >it's my exes >sure enough, he gets out, holding the f------ popcorn maker >starts yelling about how the box had his name on it >dog bitch is yelling now too >arf arf >knock knock open up the door, it's real >wit the non-stop pop pop of stainless steel >Ex gon give it to ya >Ex gon deliver to ya
>be me, femanon >have boyfriend since high school >we've been together for years, planning to get married after I finish college >he works as a delivery driver while I take classes 42 KB JPG >poor as f--- so we live in a s----- apartment >doorbell doesn't even work >don't care, I'm happy >l get out of class early one morning and go to surprise him >get home to find him f------ some 3/10 slut on our couch >like this bitch is dog ugly >I flip my s--- and throw them both out >cry for an hour and get drunk >when I get upset I stress shop >he left his wallet behind >fuckyes.gif >spend the next day or so buying s--- with his cards >rack up maybe $400 in charges >buy a $150 steel popcorn maker because why not >get one-day shipping so he won't even be able to notice in time >one day later, I've kind of calmed down >there's a knock on the door >open it, it's the bitch he cheated on me with >still as ugly as a f------ dog >even sounds like a dog too >she's telling me how she thinks she left her f------ bra in the apartment >the nerve of this absolute w---- >she's still talking and I'm about to cut her off >all of a sudden I see a truck pull up into the driveway >UPS >ohfuck.gif >l know that truck >it's my exes >sure enough, he gets out, holding the f------ popcorn maker >starts yelling about how the box had his name on it >dog bitch is yelling now too >arf arf >knock knock open up the door, it's real >wit the non-stop pop pop of stainless steel >Ex gon give it to ya >Ex gon deliver to ya

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Most Beautiful Greentext Ever Conceived. | /r/Greentext

* D Anonymous (ID: eQot91c+) 05/01/13(Wed)18:34:43 No.477045509 File: 1367447683568.jpg-(9 KB, 480x360, yui.jpg) >>477043204 >be me >be 16 >be a total beta >have few friends nothing special >total weaboo >be doing duke of edinburgh award >for the volunteering decide to help a paralyzed girl and her mum >her dad was fighting over seas at the time >first day listen to the mum about what rIl be doing idgf >meet girl >10/10 DAYUM.jpeg >say hello how are you the usual s--- >get started helping the mum cook >me and her get talking about her daughter >ask what she does all day >she just lies in bed watching t.v. >feels bad man >don't think much other of it though go in to take her food and to her feed her etc >SHE'S WATCHING DEATH NOTE >we start talking like crazy >discuss other anime >become friends quickly >keep up DoE award >keep talking to her >become very good friends >DOE ends >keep on visiting her after school >go out with her,with her in a wheel chair >go to park and stuff >she's never been outside for a prolonged amount of time >start dating kind of >keep on visiting and helping out >watch anime together for a couple of weeks >get onto angel beats >episode ten >find out Yui was paralyzed >кeep quiet >marriage proposal scene >engageoverfeel.png >10/10 girl asks if i would like her more if she could move >tears rolling down face >throw my arms around her >softly say "you are perfect the way you are, don't ever change" that was the first time i ever hugged my wife
* D Anonymous (ID: eQot91c+) 05/01/13(Wed)18:34:43 No.477045509 File: 1367447683568.jpg-(9 KB, 480x360, yui.jpg) >>477043204 >be me >be 16 >be a total beta >have few friends nothing special >total weaboo >be doing duke of edinburgh award >for the volunteering decide to help a paralyzed girl and her mum >her dad was fighting over seas at the time >first day listen to the mum about what rIl be doing idgf >meet girl >10/10 DAYUM.jpeg >say hello how are you the usual s--- >get started helping the mum cook >me and her get talking about her daughter >ask what she does all day >she just lies in bed watching t.v. >feels bad man >don't think much other of it though go in to take her food and to her feed her etc >SHE'S WATCHING DEATH NOTE >we start talking like crazy >discuss other anime >become friends quickly >keep up DoE award >keep talking to her >become very good friends >DOE ends >keep on visiting her after school >go out with her,with her in a wheel chair >go to park and stuff >she's never been outside for a prolonged amount of time >start dating kind of >keep on visiting and helping out >watch anime together for a couple of weeks >get onto angel beats >episode ten >find out Yui was paralyzed >кeep quiet >marriage proposal scene >engageoverfeel.png >10/10 girl asks if i would like her more if she could move >tears rolling down face >throw my arms around her >softly say "you are perfect the way you are, don't ever change" that was the first time i ever hugged my wife

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Anon gets a job | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/19/21(Mon)15:19:05 No.859305458 >Go to tampa for a week >Apply for a job at hooters before I go >Show up day before I leave for work for my first day the >Got a free tee shirt >Stole one of the chase elliot hats from 282 KB JPG the little store they have >Never went back (pic related it's the hat)
: Anonymous 07/19/21(Mon)15:19:05 No.859305458 >Go to tampa for a week >Apply for a job at hooters before I go >Show up day before I leave for work for my first day the >Got a free tee shirt >Stole one of the chase elliot hats from 282 KB JPG the little store they have >Never went back (pic related it's the hat)

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Anon loves his GF | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/19/21(Mon)23:00:15 No.859332687 >be me >semi-normalfag now, was phat loser nihilistic retard in high school >out of high school, stopped being a pessimistic tard, managed to go from loser to semi-chad in about a 105 KB JPG year >goood job, good physique >somehow manage to get gf >been dating 3 months now, and now have a big fren group through her >get invited to party, not big, like 6 people, all close frens >sitting in living room playing jackbox, laughing our asses >goodtimes.png >all of a sudden, have massive f------ panic attack from the sudden energy after a whole life of being neet loser >realize my life was so gay that a gathering of 6 people is more than I can handle after whole life of cringefesting >having f------ sensory overload panic attack in the floor in front of gf and all our frens >abouttocry.wav >gf comes over, comforts me, tells me to lay on my back, look at things around the room and say their names in my head >feeling chill now >gf helps me back on the couch and cuddles me for the rest of the night >more warmth than ive ever felt in my life >groupd disperses, and as me and qt gf are falling asleep on the couch she says "its ok to have panic attacks anon, just breathe and dont worry because ill always be by your side" >first time id ever felt loved i luv my gf dude life gets better after you stop being a nihilist, and the nectar is so much sweeter on the other side
: Anonymous 07/19/21(Mon)23:00:15 No.859332687 >be me >semi-normalfag now, was phat loser nihilistic retard in high school >out of high school, stopped being a pessimistic tard, managed to go from loser to semi-chad in about a 105 KB JPG year >goood job, good physique >somehow manage to get gf >been dating 3 months now, and now have a big fren group through her >get invited to party, not big, like 6 people, all close frens >sitting in living room playing jackbox, laughing our asses >goodtimes.png >all of a sudden, have massive f------ panic attack from the sudden energy after a whole life of being neet loser >realize my life was so gay that a gathering of 6 people is more than I can handle after whole life of cringefesting >having f------ sensory overload panic attack in the floor in front of gf and all our frens >abouttocry.wav >gf comes over, comforts me, tells me to lay on my back, look at things around the room and say their names in my head >feeling chill now >gf helps me back on the couch and cuddles me for the rest of the night >more warmth than ive ever felt in my life >groupd disperses, and as me and qt gf are falling asleep on the couch she says "its ok to have panic attacks anon, just breathe and dont worry because ill always be by your side" >first time id ever felt loved i luv my gf dude life gets better after you stop being a nihilist, and the nectar is so much sweeter on the other side

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Anon has an incident | /r/Greentext


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Anon lives in Russia | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/19/21(Mon)17:26:49 No.859311862 >i live in country with no opportunities >GDP is lesser than Texas >my monthly earning is 400 dollars >to buy my own house or apartment i need to work 15-20 years and not eat at all 6 KB PNG >the government give a f--- only about stealing money from country budget >and residents can't do any to stop this i can't escape from this hell i want to die 46 Replies / 2 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 07/19/21(Mon)17:26:49 No.859311862 >i live in country with no opportunities >GDP is lesser than Texas >my monthly earning is 400 dollars >to buy my own house or apartment i need to work 15-20 years and not eat at all 6 KB PNG >the government give a f--- only about stealing money from country budget >and residents can't do any to stop this i can't escape from this hell i want to die 46 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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The dark mode challenge | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/19/21(Mon)23:49:43 No.64634565 New internet challenge, called darkmode challenge: >drive at night >switch off all lights >if you drive at least 30 km at 60 596 KB PNG km / h or 20 km at 100 km / h without lights, you have completed the challenge >make a vid of yourself doing the challenge and post it on social media
: Anonymous 07/19/21(Mon)23:49:43 No.64634565 New internet challenge, called darkmode challenge: >drive at night >switch off all lights >if you drive at least 30 km at 60 596 KB PNG km / h or 20 km at 100 km / h without lights, you have completed the challenge >make a vid of yourself doing the challenge and post it on social media

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Kot in a trap | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/19/21(Mon)17:23:00 No.859311629 46BF6087-B1ED-46ED-9189-8CDEE2A22FAF.jpg 627 KB JPG >depressed p------------ >hate everything >want to die because of cringy memories and having no actual relationships with anyone >buy cat and decide to kms when the cat's time has come >cat is amazing >cute ball of fluff >mfw realize life may just be cats if i want it to be >picrel it's my cat
: Anonymous 07/19/21(Mon)17:23:00 No.859311629 46BF6087-B1ED-46ED-9189-8CDEE2A22FAF.jpg 627 KB JPG >depressed p------------ >hate everything >want to die because of cringy memories and having no actual relationships with anyone >buy cat and decide to kms when the cat's time has come >cat is amazing >cute ball of fluff >mfw realize life may just be cats if i want it to be >picrel it's my cat

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Anon's family is complicated | /r/Greentext

Anonymous No.623065567 4 minutes ago >be 23 >marry hot chick cougar who's husband died >rebound sex was cray >she has daughter my age >my single dad thinks my wife's daughter is a fox >wtfdad.jpg >they date for a few months and get married. >my stepdaughter is now my stepmother >my father is my son in law. >w--.exe >have kid with cougar wife >dad has kid with my stepdaughter >my baby became a brother in law to dad >my baby is now my uncle >Jerry springer.PNG >my dad's kid is my sister and my stepdaughters baby thus my grandchild >my wife is my step-mothers mother who is now a grandma to my new half-sibling >l am married to my grandma >l am my own grandpa.
Anonymous No.623065567 4 minutes ago >be 23 >marry hot chick cougar who's husband died >rebound sex was cray >she has daughter my age >my single dad thinks my wife's daughter is a fox >wtfdad.jpg >they date for a few months and get married. >my stepdaughter is now my stepmother >my father is my son in law. >w--.exe >have kid with cougar wife >dad has kid with my stepdaughter >my baby became a brother in law to dad >my baby is now my uncle >Jerry springer.PNG >my dad's kid is my sister and my stepdaughters baby thus my grandchild >my wife is my step-mothers mother who is now a grandma to my new half-sibling >l am married to my grandma >l am my own grandpa.

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Anon stomps his ramen | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/19/21(Mon)15:13:48 No.859305182 > be me > 30y male > married for some years now > Wife won't get preggo > See doctors and s--- > Gettyimages_doctor.jpg > Live in country with universal healthcare 35 KB JPG > Still not covering fertility therapies > Pay shitload of money > Docs say wife has some problems with her Jayjay, makes it harder to get dem belly but still possible > My turn now > Go to fertility clinic > granny Nurse navigating me to j------- chamber > It's literally like a f------ wardrobe > Walls so thin I hear other pals beating there Johnsons at north, west, east > Nurse hands me plastic cup, instructs me to put it on a kinda service hatch in a corner > Nym > Do the duty, serve my Pete, wank the comrade, full deplete > Carefully groan, kinda enjoyed it > "Hell yeah".ogg > Waddle over to the hatch, balancing my cumcup > Put it on the small board, pants still down > THANKS.wav > Wut > Turn around > See nurse sitting at the other side of the hatch, reading a book > I just stomped my ramen while she sat two metres away > MFW when nurse heard me going "Hell yeah" after closing xhamster tabs on my phone > MFW I paid for that s--- Yo lads, turned out my semen is crippled. I literally have a very tiny amount of sperm cells in my c--. Sucks.
Anonymous 07/19/21(Mon)15:13:48 No.859305182 > be me > 30y male > married for some years now > Wife won't get preggo > See doctors and s--- > Gettyimages_doctor.jpg > Live in country with universal healthcare 35 KB JPG > Still not covering fertility therapies > Pay shitload of money > Docs say wife has some problems with her Jayjay, makes it harder to get dem belly but still possible > My turn now > Go to fertility clinic > granny Nurse navigating me to j------- chamber > It's literally like a f------ wardrobe > Walls so thin I hear other pals beating there Johnsons at north, west, east > Nurse hands me plastic cup, instructs me to put it on a kinda service hatch in a corner > Nym > Do the duty, serve my Pete, wank the comrade, full deplete > Carefully groan, kinda enjoyed it > "Hell yeah".ogg > Waddle over to the hatch, balancing my cumcup > Put it on the small board, pants still down > THANKS.wav > Wut > Turn around > See nurse sitting at the other side of the hatch, reading a book > I just stomped my ramen while she sat two metres away > MFW when nurse heard me going "Hell yeah" after closing xhamster tabs on my phone > MFW I paid for that s--- Yo lads, turned out my semen is crippled. I literally have a very tiny amount of sperm cells in my c--. Sucks.

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Anon has a question | /r/Greentext

>wondering how a word is pronounced >go to YouTube for a quick answer >click on most viewed result >cringy intro > "To AnSwEr ThAt QuEsTiOn wE nEeD To Go BaCk tO tHe JuRaSslc ErA" 176 KB JPG why
>wondering how a word is pronounced >go to YouTube for a quick answer >click on most viewed result >cringy intro > "To AnSwEr ThAt QuEsTiOn wE nEeD To Go BaCk tO tHe JuRaSslc ErA" 176 KB JPG why

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Anon isn't a fattie | /r/Greentext

File: d8og2uv-96b2cc0d-9281-4f3(...).jpg (39 KB, 640x818) O fatties btfo Anonymous > Eat only when hungry > Thin Literally this easy.
File: d8og2uv-96b2cc0d-9281-4f3(...).jpg (39 KB, 640x818) O fatties btfo Anonymous > Eat only when hungry > Thin Literally this easy.

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anon needs to take it easy | /r/Greentext

File: 77.jpg (22 KB, 640x360) Anonymous 07/19/21 (Mon)16:32:17 No.859292075 >>859292191 >859292931 >>8592 >having too many dreams where I'm drowning lately >in one of them, I had sleep paralysis >but couldn't breathe too (nose closed) >still could see myself in the dream drowning, and couldn't move my body >so I was literally drowning what the f--- is going on with me? is my subconscious secretly trying to kill me? Anonymous 07/19/21(Mon)16:34:48 No.859292191 >>859293115 >>859292075 (OP) No it's a sign you're in over your head with stress. Your f------ your life up and your brain is trying to warn you.
File: 77.jpg (22 KB, 640x360) Anonymous 07/19/21 (Mon)16:32:17 No.859292075 >>859292191 >859292931 >>8592 >having too many dreams where I'm drowning lately >in one of them, I had sleep paralysis >but couldn't breathe too (nose closed) >still could see myself in the dream drowning, and couldn't move my body >so I was literally drowning what the f--- is going on with me? is my subconscious secretly trying to kill me? Anonymous 07/19/21(Mon)16:34:48 No.859292191 >>859293115 >>859292075 (OP) No it's a sign you're in over your head with stress. Your f------ your life up and your brain is trying to warn you.

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mongol pilled | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous MONGOL PILL 07/17/21(Sat)15:06:28 No.62616373 MongolChad.jpg 10 KB JPG >The Mongols consumed a steady diet of meat, milk, yogurt, and other dairy products, and they fought men who lived on gruel made from various grains. The grain diet of the peasant warriors stunted their bones, rotted their teeth, and left them weak and prone to disease. Why haven't you taken the mongol pill yet /fit/?
: Anonymous MONGOL PILL 07/17/21(Sat)15:06:28 No.62616373 MongolChad.jpg 10 KB JPG >The Mongols consumed a steady diet of meat, milk, yogurt, and other dairy products, and they fought men who lived on gruel made from various grains. The grain diet of the peasant warriors stunted their bones, rotted their teeth, and left them weak and prone to disease. Why haven't you taken the mongol pill yet /fit/?

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Anon participates in karaoke | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/19/21(Mon)10:48:15 No.104855301 1617558900812.jpg 545 KB JPG >school decides to randomly have karaoke during lunch >friends tell me i should go up there and do it for the one time >i know they want me to make a fool of myself but i say f--- it and go up there >choose heaven knows im miserable know, a song i know the lyrics to like the back of my hand >don't even look at the screen just stare at everyone while my gorgeous pipes do the work >hit the falsettos like a god >everyone goes crazy >girls get visibly moist >gays get visibly moist in this moment i am morrissey >>104855856 # >>104855976 # >>104856526 #
: Anonymous 07/19/21(Mon)10:48:15 No.104855301 1617558900812.jpg 545 KB JPG >school decides to randomly have karaoke during lunch >friends tell me i should go up there and do it for the one time >i know they want me to make a fool of myself but i say f--- it and go up there >choose heaven knows im miserable know, a song i know the lyrics to like the back of my hand >don't even look at the screen just stare at everyone while my gorgeous pipes do the work >hit the falsettos like a god >everyone goes crazy >girls get visibly moist >gays get visibly moist in this moment i am morrissey >>104855856 # >>104855976 # >>104856526 #

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Anon's baby eaten by dingo | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/19/21(Mon)00:54:13 No.859271505 > me, 19 m AU > at funeral > mom's friend died, didgeridoo impalement through the mouth > open casket > picturerelated.jpg 118 KB JPG > priest plays Always Look on the Bright Side of Life on accordion before burial > imitation crocodile strap busts, accordion hits moms friend in head > Goliath spider babies stream out, apparently made nest in her head > forgotmyshotgunathome.jpg > luckily the rest of the family starts shooting > Goliath spider on the barbie tonight > Triple funeral next Sunday for my three uncles > jellyfish stings, separate incidents, various species involved > promise my ma that I won't forget my shotgun next time > mymouthwheniseethosevegemitecovered spiders.jpg
: Anonymous 07/19/21(Mon)00:54:13 No.859271505 > me, 19 m AU > at funeral > mom's friend died, didgeridoo impalement through the mouth > open casket > picturerelated.jpg 118 KB JPG > priest plays Always Look on the Bright Side of Life on accordion before burial > imitation crocodile strap busts, accordion hits moms friend in head > Goliath spider babies stream out, apparently made nest in her head > forgotmyshotgunathome.jpg > luckily the rest of the family starts shooting > Goliath spider on the barbie tonight > Triple funeral next Sunday for my three uncles > jellyfish stings, separate incidents, various species involved > promise my ma that I won't forget my shotgun next time > mymouthwheniseethosevegemitecovered spiders.jpg

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Black Hole Son | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/19/21(Mon)12:45:33 No.64631388 >Today >Be at construction job >F------ s--- up >Boss yells at me in front of everyone >"Anon, what the f--- is your 39 KB JPG problem?" >Tell him my son died >"Oh, I'm so sorry" >I don't have a son >Don't know why I said that >Walk off the job >Planning on never coming back >Already looking at apartments in another state Welp, that's $30/hr down the drain
: Anonymous 07/19/21(Mon)12:45:33 No.64631388 >Today >Be at construction job >F------ s--- up >Boss yells at me in front of everyone >"Anon, what the f--- is your 39 KB JPG problem?" >Tell him my son died >"Oh, I'm so sorry" >I don't have a son >Don't know why I said that >Walk off the job >Planning on never coming back >Already looking at apartments in another state Welp, that's $30/hr down the drain

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