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Indoor chicken farmer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: riiKHVVJ 11/06/22(Sun)18:53:05 No.403174522 1666366546943181.jpg 1.1 MB JPG Can't tax the indoor chicken farmer >>403174740 # >>403174909 # >>403176735 #
: Anonymous (ID: riiKHVVJ 11/06/22(Sun)18:53:05 No.403174522 1666366546943181.jpg 1.1 MB JPG Can't tax the indoor chicken farmer >>403174740 # >>403174909 # >>403176735 #

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Anon efforts go unnoticed :( | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 108 KB PNG 09/29/18(Sat) 14:55:43 No.48411647 >help out some girl >she doesn't reward me with sex What is wrong with women?
: Anonymous 108 KB PNG 09/29/18(Sat) 14:55:43 No.48411647 >help out some girl >she doesn't reward me with sex What is wrong with women?

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Anon acts cringe | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/05/22(Sat)21:42:34 No.70875493 >>70875049 (OP) # >be me >at a party >see old friends from middle school 1.93 MB JPG >walk up to greet them >I dont know how to act so I start acting like middle school me >my vocabulary changes to the following >'haha thats lit bruh' 'nah f-am' 'low key?' >started asking them stupid s--- such as if they wanted edibles >basically im just trying to act cool around them >give them a tour of my room >forget that my f------ pc setup is picrel >notice one of them trying to contain their laughter any suggestions on h---------- myself in the most painful way possible?
: Anonymous 11/05/22(Sat)21:42:34 No.70875493 >>70875049 (OP) # >be me >at a party >see old friends from middle school 1.93 MB JPG >walk up to greet them >I dont know how to act so I start acting like middle school me >my vocabulary changes to the following >'haha thats lit bruh' 'nah f-am' 'low key?' >started asking them stupid s--- such as if they wanted edibles >basically im just trying to act cool around them >give them a tour of my room >forget that my f------ pc setup is picrel >notice one of them trying to contain their laughter any suggestions on h---------- myself in the most painful way possible?

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Anon hates video essays | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 134 KB JPG 11/06/22(Sun)12:23:13 No.70881305 >makes a bazillion hour long video about some drama that the entire internet has already heard already >has a voice so boring that any new info given slips right by you >thumbnail has of course typical face- mugging format with le-explosion in background with the color saturation turned up Anonymous >>70881305 (OP) # >video is a bazillion hours long, not because there's actually that much information, but because his writing is so padded out with pseudointellectual fluff that it takes him several minutes just to move from one point to the next I don't know how people can watch that s--- 11/06/22(Sun)12:27:00 No.708813
: Anonymous 134 KB JPG 11/06/22(Sun)12:23:13 No.70881305 >makes a bazillion hour long video about some drama that the entire internet has already heard already >has a voice so boring that any new info given slips right by you >thumbnail has of course typical face- mugging format with le-explosion in background with the color saturation turned up Anonymous >>70881305 (OP) # >video is a bazillion hours long, not because there's actually that much information, but because his writing is so padded out with pseudointellectual fluff that it takes him several minutes just to move from one point to the next I don't know how people can watch that s--- 11/06/22(Sun)12:27:00 No.708813

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Anon is American | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/14/20(Fri)00:35:47 No.137856716 1597289582895.jpg 48 KB JPG SHE WAS 17 YEARS 364 DAYS 23 HOURS 59 SECONDS 999 MILISECONDS OLD YOU SICK F---
: Anonymous 08/14/20(Fri)00:35:47 No.137856716 1597289582895.jpg 48 KB JPG SHE WAS 17 YEARS 364 DAYS 23 HOURS 59 SECONDS 999 MILISECONDS OLD YOU SICK F---

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Anon tortures Cortana. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/13/15(Fri) 16:54:36 No.46544488 >>46544103 (OP) Cortana, please open Firefox. >Okay, anon! Cortana, type in the broswer 'Cortana rule 34' >O...Okay anon, sure Cortana, open that first link >...This link is, uh... Not safe for OPEN IT >y-yes, anon. Cortana, download every image you see and save it in a folder called "I am a dirty little slut" >why, anon? Why are you- Don't make me install gentoo >>46544536 >>46544716 >>46544781 >>46544783 >Saving files... Who's a dirty little slut? >I... I am, anon...
Anonymous 02/13/15(Fri) 16:54:36 No.46544488 >>46544103 (OP) Cortana, please open Firefox. >Okay, anon! Cortana, type in the broswer 'Cortana rule 34' >O...Okay anon, sure Cortana, open that first link >...This link is, uh... Not safe for OPEN IT >y-yes, anon. Cortana, download every image you see and save it in a folder called "I am a dirty little slut" >why, anon? Why are you- Don't make me install gentoo >>46544536 >>46544716 >>46544781 >>46544783 >Saving files... Who's a dirty little slut? >I... I am, anon...

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Anon has a wholesome childhood...? | /r/Greentext

54 KB JPG >my dad was the coolest m------------ to me when i was a kid >city cop, used to take me places in his cop car all the time >he'd say "wanna go for light up ride anon?" >id get so f------ excited >we'd go wherever, he'd turn the lights and sirens on just because he knew i thought it was cool >used to brag about him to my friends all the time >best times of my childhood really loved my dad. turns out he r---- my sister so my mom killed him.
54 KB JPG >my dad was the coolest m------------ to me when i was a kid >city cop, used to take me places in his cop car all the time >he'd say "wanna go for light up ride anon?" >id get so f------ excited >we'd go wherever, he'd turn the lights and sirens on just because he knew i thought it was cool >used to brag about him to my friends all the time >best times of my childhood really loved my dad. turns out he r---- my sister so my mom killed him.

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The matchmaker | /r/Greentext

624 KB JPG >Be me >For the most part I am a generic normie >Have a friend who is a bit more spergy than I >The type to shove his phone in your face and show you a meme from r/greentext >Lately he has been telling me about his dating woes >I just dont get it anon, blah blah blah >Selfpity.exe >Tell him I know a girl with similar interests >A couple days pass by and I set them up >They get to talking and all seems to be going well >The topic of anime comes up >Ohno.jpeg >YOU WATCH ANIME!?! NO WAAYY >Begins quizzing her with the intensity of a Fed at Guantanamo >I can visibly see her eyes glazing over with the ick Why do I even f------ bother.
624 KB JPG >Be me >For the most part I am a generic normie >Have a friend who is a bit more spergy than I >The type to shove his phone in your face and show you a meme from r/greentext >Lately he has been telling me about his dating woes >I just dont get it anon, blah blah blah >Selfpity.exe >Tell him I know a girl with similar interests >A couple days pass by and I set them up >They get to talking and all seems to be going well >The topic of anime comes up >Ohno.jpeg >YOU WATCH ANIME!?! NO WAAYY >Begins quizzing her with the intensity of a Fed at Guantanamo >I can visibly see her eyes glazing over with the ick Why do I even f------ bother.

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Anon don't like dating | /r/Greentext

File: IMG_1618_cropped.png (117 KB, 276x276) Anonymous 11/06/22(Sun)10:24:52 No.70877675 ► >Decide to give dating a try >Find some average looking girl and decide to meet up >She may not be a 10/10 but she sounds nice MAISON DE L'AMOUR >Start to inquire about my job and how much I earn >When I mention working for Gucci her interest sparks up >Spend the rest of the date talking about how much she'd love to receive a gucci branded purse for her birthday which coincidentially is in 2 weeks Yeah I dunno, I'm just going to avoid dating until I feel like I'll need it. Living alone is just fine for me right now. >> Anonymous 11/06/22 (Sun)10:28:27 No.70877702 ► lol, when you JUST meet a girl and she tells you her birthday (when to give her s---) you just walk the other way. me me me me me women are awful >> Anonymous 11/06/22 (Sun)10:29:44 No.70877710 >> Anonymous 11/06/22(Sun)10:37:16 No.70877761 File: IMG_20221106_103504.jpg (29 KB, 684x912) >>70877761 >When I mention working for Gucci her interest sparks up Alright I'm stopping here, this is a ridiculous thing to just drop ► >>70877710 She asked where I worked and I answered, what's wrong with that? I do work for Gucci. It's not like I told her a lie
File: IMG_1618_cropped.png (117 KB, 276x276) Anonymous 11/06/22(Sun)10:24:52 No.70877675 ► >Decide to give dating a try >Find some average looking girl and decide to meet up >She may not be a 10/10 but she sounds nice MAISON DE L'AMOUR >Start to inquire about my job and how much I earn >When I mention working for Gucci her interest sparks up >Spend the rest of the date talking about how much she'd love to receive a gucci branded purse for her birthday which coincidentially is in 2 weeks Yeah I dunno, I'm just going to avoid dating until I feel like I'll need it. Living alone is just fine for me right now. >> Anonymous 11/06/22 (Sun)10:28:27 No.70877702 ► lol, when you JUST meet a girl and she tells you her birthday (when to give her s---) you just walk the other way. me me me me me women are awful >> Anonymous 11/06/22 (Sun)10:29:44 No.70877710 >> Anonymous 11/06/22(Sun)10:37:16 No.70877761 File: IMG_20221106_103504.jpg (29 KB, 684x912) >>70877761 >When I mention working for Gucci her interest sparks up Alright I'm stopping here, this is a ridiculous thing to just drop ► >>70877710 She asked where I worked and I answered, what's wrong with that? I do work for Gucci. It's not like I told her a lie

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Anon does what is called a pro gamer moment | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 59 KB JPG 8 Replies 01/19/19(Sat) 19:43:52 No.50505418 just man the f--- up and get a gf. View Thread 01/19/19(Sat)20:02:04 No.50505556 Anonymous >>50505418 (OP) # How bout you man the f--- down and become my gf uwu
Anonymous 59 KB JPG 8 Replies 01/19/19(Sat) 19:43:52 No.50505418 just man the f--- up and get a gf. View Thread 01/19/19(Sat)20:02:04 No.50505556 Anonymous >>50505418 (OP) # How bout you man the f--- down and become my gf uwu

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Anon browses r/politics | /r/Greentext

>>386712658 (OP) # >"WOW JUST WOW! The Republikkkans just voted 'no' on the Happy Cuddles Huggie Wuggie Kitties Love Love Fund! I can't even!" >H.R. 28472 The Happy Cuddles Huggie Wuggie Kitties Love Love Fund Act >PROVISION I. >All property belonging to White Americans is to be appropriated by the government and given to jews. >PROVISION II. >All White Americans are to be sterilized and kept as slaves. >PROVISION III. >All White children are to be remanded to the custody of Israeli dual-citizens... to help them.
>>386712658 (OP) # >"WOW JUST WOW! The Republikkkans just voted 'no' on the Happy Cuddles Huggie Wuggie Kitties Love Love Fund! I can't even!" >H.R. 28472 The Happy Cuddles Huggie Wuggie Kitties Love Love Fund Act >PROVISION I. >All property belonging to White Americans is to be appropriated by the government and given to jews. >PROVISION II. >All White Americans are to be sterilized and kept as slaves. >PROVISION III. >All White children are to be remanded to the custody of Israeli dual-citizens... to help them.

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anon is…. something for sure | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Gay Stories? 81 KB JPG 11/06/22(Sun)09:56:23 No.888607838 Semi-Homosexual stories anyone? I'll start >be me >super homophobic catholic teenager (still am) >gay classmate tells me im missing out on some really good sex >horny 24/7 >f--- it why not >redownload Grindr >find really cute femboy >meet up finally after days of talking >he looks so cute in person, even shaved his buddy for me >get ready to f--- the shut out of him in my truck >but Jesus comes to me and reminds me that it is a sin >feel blessed that that happened >kick the f-- out of my truck >run him over >my relationship with Christ is even stronger thank you, Jesus!
Anonymous Gay Stories? 81 KB JPG 11/06/22(Sun)09:56:23 No.888607838 Semi-Homosexual stories anyone? I'll start >be me >super homophobic catholic teenager (still am) >gay classmate tells me im missing out on some really good sex >horny 24/7 >f--- it why not >redownload Grindr >find really cute femboy >meet up finally after days of talking >he looks so cute in person, even shaved his buddy for me >get ready to f--- the shut out of him in my truck >but Jesus comes to me and reminds me that it is a sin >feel blessed that that happened >kick the f-- out of my truck >run him over >my relationship with Christ is even stronger thank you, Jesus!

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Anon rejects Stacy | /r/Greentext

PELLE 42 KB JPG >be me >13 >social outcast with no social skills who everyone makes fun of >at a school party >everyone's dancing, I just awkwardly stand there >a stacy from my class comes up to me >asks me to dance with a smug look on her face >autism kicks in >just stand there and stare at her for a solid 5 seconds >then just turn and walk the other way as fast as I can >next day in class >overhear the girl talking with her friends >hear her say that her plan was to embarass me but got embarrassed herself for being rejected by such a lowlife >mfw my autism inadvertently made me look like a chad >take that stacy
PELLE 42 KB JPG >be me >13 >social outcast with no social skills who everyone makes fun of >at a school party >everyone's dancing, I just awkwardly stand there >a stacy from my class comes up to me >asks me to dance with a smug look on her face >autism kicks in >just stand there and stare at her for a solid 5 seconds >then just turn and walk the other way as fast as I can >next day in class >overhear the girl talking with her friends >hear her say that her plan was to embarass me but got embarrassed herself for being rejected by such a lowlife >mfw my autism inadvertently made me look like a chad >take that stacy

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Bald and bankrupt always based | /r/Greentext

File: bandb.jpg (10 KB, 300x168) Anonymous 08/08/21 (Sun)16:50:39 No.860600568 [Reply] >>860601946 >>860604005 >go to middle of piss nowhere >bumble around all day talking complete bollocks to gopniks and drunks >stay in revolting old hotel >10 thousand billion views on youtube this is how it should be donw, f--- all the worthless self-obsessed "influencers"
File: bandb.jpg (10 KB, 300x168) Anonymous 08/08/21 (Sun)16:50:39 No.860600568 [Reply] >>860601946 >>860604005 >go to middle of piss nowhere >bumble around all day talking complete bollocks to gopniks and drunks >stay in revolting old hotel >10 thousand billion views on youtube this is how it should be donw, f--- all the worthless self-obsessed "influencers"

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anon cracks a joke | /r/Greentext

Anonymous C 56 KB JPG 08/22/22(Mon)22:34:30 No.884372559 >be me >amidst one of the worst floods in my state's history >see that my entire house is surrounded in water with no land in sight >"this will definitely affect trout season" >my whole family looks at me in confusion 17 people died that day
Anonymous C 56 KB JPG 08/22/22(Mon)22:34:30 No.884372559 >be me >amidst one of the worst floods in my state's history >see that my entire house is surrounded in water with no land in sight >"this will definitely affect trout season" >my whole family looks at me in confusion 17 people died that day

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anon is confused | /r/Greentext

File: 6F856D0C-9244-4D5E-B3D2-A(...).jpg (52 KB, 500x493) Anonymous 09/12/22 (Mon)17:25:30 No.170772172 > Be me > Playing online video games as usual > check the lobbies list > Join a lobby > saying hello to everyone > The lobby's creator asks me << Where are you from?»> > I reply «France>> > <<You got permanently kicked from the lobby>>
File: 6F856D0C-9244-4D5E-B3D2-A(...).jpg (52 KB, 500x493) Anonymous 09/12/22 (Mon)17:25:30 No.170772172 > Be me > Playing online video games as usual > check the lobbies list > Join a lobby > saying hello to everyone > The lobby's creator asks me << Where are you from?»> > I reply «France>> > <<You got permanently kicked from the lobby>>

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Anon wants to go to the woods | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 11/06/22(Sun)17:17:24 No.70876566 >>70876619 >>70876697 >>70876729 >be me >depressed loser >been thinking of suicide for a while now >nobody will give a s--- anyway >today having dinner with mom >see news about a guy getting lost in the woods >they found his corpse >he was my age >mom goes "thats terrible, he was just a kid" >"mom he was 20" >"thats still a kid, he had his whole life ahead" >been thinking about that since then is this one of those signs people talk about?
O Anonymous 11/06/22(Sun)17:17:24 No.70876566 >>70876619 >>70876697 >>70876729 >be me >depressed loser >been thinking of suicide for a while now >nobody will give a s--- anyway >today having dinner with mom >see news about a guy getting lost in the woods >they found his corpse >he was my age >mom goes "thats terrible, he was just a kid" >"mom he was 20" >"thats still a kid, he had his whole life ahead" >been thinking about that since then is this one of those signs people talk about?

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Anon is a father | /r/Greentext

No.38434810 26 minutes ago PNG 366.4 KiB 469x537 >be a father >have 13 year old son >I always knew he'd grow up to be a loser >he's a complete nerd, really into star wars >also claims he is a "fiction-kin" >mightbeautistic.gif >he says he identifies as the Force >not even Darth Vader or Luke, just the f------ Force >he has long hair >I order him to get a haircut (maybe he could get a gf or something if he didn't look like a damn hobo) >after twenty minutes he walks into the room, his hair still long as s--- >I ask him why he didn't get a haircut >"I like my hair, it's my choice dad!" >notthisshit.jpg >already an edgy rebel >his sister comes in >walks up to the little f----- >"I think his hair is cute!" ... >she caresses his head >mfw my 14-year-old daughter stroked an uncut force-kin 3 replies
No.38434810 26 minutes ago PNG 366.4 KiB 469x537 >be a father >have 13 year old son >I always knew he'd grow up to be a loser >he's a complete nerd, really into star wars >also claims he is a "fiction-kin" >mightbeautistic.gif >he says he identifies as the Force >not even Darth Vader or Luke, just the f------ Force >he has long hair >I order him to get a haircut (maybe he could get a gf or something if he didn't look like a damn hobo) >after twenty minutes he walks into the room, his hair still long as s--- >I ask him why he didn't get a haircut >"I like my hair, it's my choice dad!" >notthisshit.jpg >already an edgy rebel >his sister comes in >walks up to the little f----- >"I think his hair is cute!" ... >she caresses his head >mfw my 14-year-old daughter stroked an uncut force-kin 3 replies

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Anon Is A Liar | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/12/10(Tue)12:31 No.75545XXX File1286901093.jpg-(48 KB, 678x444, 1233814009623.jpg) [!] >Pretend I'm a girl just to get items >Meet a great girl in the process that convinces me to join her guild >Become best friends >She turns out to be a lesbian >Keep pretending even if it feels wrong >7 months of online dating and cybering >She tells me we have to talk >Think she wants to meet IRL and get ready to tell her the horrible truth >She tells me she's really a guy pretending he's a lesbian >My f------ face when we've been two guys cybering lesbian sex for 7 months
Anonymous 10/12/10(Tue)12:31 No.75545XXX File1286901093.jpg-(48 KB, 678x444, 1233814009623.jpg) [!] >Pretend I'm a girl just to get items >Meet a great girl in the process that convinces me to join her guild >Become best friends >She turns out to be a lesbian >Keep pretending even if it feels wrong >7 months of online dating and cybering >She tells me we have to talk >Think she wants to meet IRL and get ready to tell her the horrible truth >She tells me she's really a guy pretending he's a lesbian >My f------ face when we've been two guys cybering lesbian sex for 7 months

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Double Standards | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 423 KB PNG 07/24/21(Sat) 14:29:48 No.64696588 >Guys say they like bigger asses and boobs >This is okay >Girls say they like taller men and bigger d---- >Suddenly this is wrong Why?
: Anonymous 423 KB PNG 07/24/21(Sat) 14:29:48 No.64696588 >Guys say they like bigger asses and boobs >This is okay >Girls say they like taller men and bigger d---- >Suddenly this is wrong Why?

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