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Anon doesn't want a job | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/11/18(Fri)09:44:45 No.45312706 >Apply for NEETbux >NEETbux worker says no NEETbux until I apply for one job >ugh fine >walk to the McDick's right next to the NEETbux office >tell the roastie at the counter I want to apply for a job 413 KB PNG >roastie leaves for a minute and says the manager wants to meet me >manager comes out and takes me back to his office >puts in a DVD about McDick's and safety s--- >asks me if I have any questions >has me fill out some forms and s--- >ugh this is taking forever >manager calls roastie back to his office and tells her to take me up front and train me on the registers >WTE!? I didn't actually want a job >too much social anxiety to back out now Tomorrow will be my two week anniversary. A group of coworkers invited me out to a sports bar for wings last weekend. Those were the first new numbers I saved in my phone in years. It's actually nice having a little money coming in and somewhere l'm expected to be everyday. It's like I matter to the world again.
Anonymous 05/11/18(Fri)09:44:45 No.45312706 >Apply for NEETbux >NEETbux worker says no NEETbux until I apply for one job >ugh fine >walk to the McDick's right next to the NEETbux office >tell the roastie at the counter I want to apply for a job 413 KB PNG >roastie leaves for a minute and says the manager wants to meet me >manager comes out and takes me back to his office >puts in a DVD about McDick's and safety s--- >asks me if I have any questions >has me fill out some forms and s--- >ugh this is taking forever >manager calls roastie back to his office and tells her to take me up front and train me on the registers >WTE!? I didn't actually want a job >too much social anxiety to back out now Tomorrow will be my two week anniversary. A group of coworkers invited me out to a sports bar for wings last weekend. Those were the first new numbers I saved in my phone in years. It's actually nice having a little money coming in and somewhere l'm expected to be everyday. It's like I matter to the world again.

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Anon works at a pet shop | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/28/21(Mon)23:56:02 No.3849472 >get job at pet shop >im grateful the owner gave a chance despite no experience >my job is to groom the dogs >on my first day i groom 2 dogs >owner tells me im too slow and that I should be able to groom 8 dogs, 1 dog per hour basically >she shows me how she does it, she gives them a pill to sedate them so they dont struggle >there are different dosages depending on the 28 KB JPG age and weight of the dog >i follow her instructions to the letter >4 of the dogs never wake up >she cusses at me and asks me how the f--- is she supposed to explain what happened >fires me on the spot, tells me I will probably get sued : Anonymous 06/29/21(Tue)00:08:30 No.3849482 maybe you should apply at a pet cemetery next you might revive some >>3849746 # >>3849776 #
: Anonymous 06/28/21(Mon)23:56:02 No.3849472 >get job at pet shop >im grateful the owner gave a chance despite no experience >my job is to groom the dogs >on my first day i groom 2 dogs >owner tells me im too slow and that I should be able to groom 8 dogs, 1 dog per hour basically >she shows me how she does it, she gives them a pill to sedate them so they dont struggle >there are different dosages depending on the 28 KB JPG age and weight of the dog >i follow her instructions to the letter >4 of the dogs never wake up >she cusses at me and asks me how the f--- is she supposed to explain what happened >fires me on the spot, tells me I will probably get sued : Anonymous 06/29/21(Tue)00:08:30 No.3849482 maybe you should apply at a pet cemetery next you might revive some >>3849746 # >>3849776 #

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Anon Shares The Secret Of Chads | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/07/18(Sat)08:34:51 No.46624719 >be me >25 year old "chad" >have basic hygiene (take showers everyday, brush teeth etc.) >Maintian my body through shaving, haircuts etc. 131 KB JPG >go to gym regularly, eat healthy and take care of my body >Dress decently >Treat women with respect and pursue them confidently >compliment them and make them feel special >get 8/10 gf and live happily It's that easy guys. Just don't look like a f------ slob and take care of yourself.
: Anonymous 07/07/18(Sat)08:34:51 No.46624719 >be me >25 year old "chad" >have basic hygiene (take showers everyday, brush teeth etc.) >Maintian my body through shaving, haircuts etc. 131 KB JPG >go to gym regularly, eat healthy and take care of my body >Dress decently >Treat women with respect and pursue them confidently >compliment them and make them feel special >get 8/10 gf and live happily It's that easy guys. Just don't look like a f------ slob and take care of yourself.

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Trannie booted | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/14/21(Wed)11:03:06 No.858986588 >be me anon >go to school with trannie faq >one day it starts bothering people about how f--- are superior an s--- >it rants for a few more minutes >country boy of the class tells it to shut the f--- up 53 KB GIF >it barks at him >he punches it in the face because it still has penis >knocks it the f--- out >f-- doesnt come back to school >mfw
: Anonymous 07/14/21(Wed)11:03:06 No.858986588 >be me anon >go to school with trannie faq >one day it starts bothering people about how f--- are superior an s--- >it rants for a few more minutes >country boy of the class tells it to shut the f--- up 53 KB GIF >it barks at him >he punches it in the face because it still has penis >knocks it the f--- out >f-- doesnt come back to school >mfw

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Anon gets bamboozled | /r/Greentext

File: pepevomit.png (353 KB, 600x447) Anonymous 07/14/21(Wed)15:52:46 No.858976877 >Be me, live in denial thinking that women don't fart/poop >Actually get a GF (oh the lord and his miracles) >She farts/poops >Disgust.jpg My whole life has been a lie. Anonymous 07/14/21(Wed)15:53:50 No.858976906 What you have is a boyfriend
File: pepevomit.png (353 KB, 600x447) Anonymous 07/14/21(Wed)15:52:46 No.858976877 >Be me, live in denial thinking that women don't fart/poop >Actually get a GF (oh the lord and his miracles) >She farts/poops >Disgust.jpg My whole life has been a lie. Anonymous 07/14/21(Wed)15:53:50 No.858976906 What you have is a boyfriend

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Anon shits for his coworker | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/14/21(Wed)21:57:12 No.859019540 >be me >coworker always takes a nasty ass s--- every day when he gets in >decide I'm gonna teach him a lesson >he's a fat f---, but I'm a vegan >held in my s--- for 3 days 1.32 MB JPG >today's the day >go into work an hour early >head straight to the bathroom >take the most rancid, disgusting s--- that has ever left my anus >gagged a few times and could barely breathe in my own fecal fumes >spent 45 minutes in there to get it all out and let it simmer a bit >leave and start my shift >coworker comes in >as usual, he goes to the bathroom after clocking in >working, trying to act normal >few seconds later >hear "jesus f------ christ" in the distance >a grin strikes my face the prophecy has been fulfilled
: Anonymous 07/14/21(Wed)21:57:12 No.859019540 >be me >coworker always takes a nasty ass s--- every day when he gets in >decide I'm gonna teach him a lesson >he's a fat f---, but I'm a vegan >held in my s--- for 3 days 1.32 MB JPG >today's the day >go into work an hour early >head straight to the bathroom >take the most rancid, disgusting s--- that has ever left my anus >gagged a few times and could barely breathe in my own fecal fumes >spent 45 minutes in there to get it all out and let it simmer a bit >leave and start my shift >coworker comes in >as usual, he goes to the bathroom after clocking in >working, trying to act normal >few seconds later >hear "jesus f------ christ" in the distance >a grin strikes my face the prophecy has been fulfilled

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Anon loves animal crossing and hentai | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/14/21(Wed)10:53:13 No.9821347 > be me > 47 year old Afghanistan local > planned some big attack this one time > now live in caves and hideaways > no running water to wash down 135 KB JPG sheep tendies > turn on my dell computer > can't decide if I want to pwn newbz on counter strike or throw on my bandana and watch some naruto > end up just running my DS emulator > play Animal Crossing: Wild World as always > in this game am not Earth's most wanted terrorist > am shopkeeper > am up to date on my bills > just learned a DIY recipe for a backyard lawn > decide to switch to CS:GO > get called a s---------- within 3 seconds of talking to my team > switch back to Animal Crossing > my lawn is beautiful > cross fingers and hope Obama doesn't kill me tomorrow before my pre-sleep hentai session > life isn't good, but it's ok
: Anonymous 07/14/21(Wed)10:53:13 No.9821347 > be me > 47 year old Afghanistan local > planned some big attack this one time > now live in caves and hideaways > no running water to wash down 135 KB JPG sheep tendies > turn on my dell computer > can't decide if I want to pwn newbz on counter strike or throw on my bandana and watch some naruto > end up just running my DS emulator > play Animal Crossing: Wild World as always > in this game am not Earth's most wanted terrorist > am shopkeeper > am up to date on my bills > just learned a DIY recipe for a backyard lawn > decide to switch to CS:GO > get called a s---------- within 3 seconds of talking to my team > switch back to Animal Crossing > my lawn is beautiful > cross fingers and hope Obama doesn't kill me tomorrow before my pre-sleep hentai session > life isn't good, but it's ok

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Anon stagnates in life | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/14/21(Wed)22:01:22 No.859000122 images (4).jpg| 8 KB JPG >be me, Eastern-eurofag >live in s------- country >go to engineering school because allegedly it pays well >ffw 7 years >be me >25 yo >work >sleep >repeat >pay rent >buy groceries >literally spend only on these two and cheap clothes when I need them >be end of every month >balance = 0 money >mfw my salary is considered good in this country >mfw l'll be wagecucking until I die and will have nothing to show for it Why bother anons?
: Anonymous 07/14/21(Wed)22:01:22 No.859000122 images (4).jpg| 8 KB JPG >be me, Eastern-eurofag >live in s------- country >go to engineering school because allegedly it pays well >ffw 7 years >be me >25 yo >work >sleep >repeat >pay rent >buy groceries >literally spend only on these two and cheap clothes when I need them >be end of every month >balance = 0 money >mfw my salary is considered good in this country >mfw l'll be wagecucking until I die and will have nothing to show for it Why bother anons?

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Anon kills a bug | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/14/21(Wed)13:14:24 No.858997494 >Be me >Bring food to my room >Hear fly >Fuckno.jpg >Leave food in kitchen and grab fly swatter 52 KB JPG >l patiently wait for it to appear, for I am in my element >Finally notice it next to bed >Slowly approach >Swing >Miss >Starts to fly away >I f------ hit it mid air >Makes audible smacking sound >Soars accross room >Can't find its corpse >Panic >Desperately search for an hour to no avail >Realize I just have to live with the fact that there's a fly's liquified body somewhere in this room
: Anonymous 07/14/21(Wed)13:14:24 No.858997494 >Be me >Bring food to my room >Hear fly >Fuckno.jpg >Leave food in kitchen and grab fly swatter 52 KB JPG >l patiently wait for it to appear, for I am in my element >Finally notice it next to bed >Slowly approach >Swing >Miss >Starts to fly away >I f------ hit it mid air >Makes audible smacking sound >Soars accross room >Can't find its corpse >Panic >Desperately search for an hour to no avail >Realize I just have to live with the fact that there's a fly's liquified body somewhere in this room

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Anon wants you to wake up. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/13/21(Tue)22:34:04 No.858956281 Elevators. >walk into metal box >press button >door closes >wait a few seconds >magically on "different floor" 391 KB PNG How can you retards fall for this s---? They clearly just move the scenery around to make you think your on a new floor.
: Anonymous 07/13/21(Tue)22:34:04 No.858956281 Elevators. >walk into metal box >press button >door closes >wait a few seconds >magically on "different floor" 391 KB PNG How can you retards fall for this s---? They clearly just move the scenery around to make you think your on a new floor.

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Anon has some demons in his past | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/08/17(Wed)22:02:56 No.724775776 >drive a creepy r--- van equipped with twin hadley air horns. >pull up behind 16 year old girl in a early 90's vw cabriolet. >at a red light. >she's not paying attention and texting on her phone. >think it would be funny to make her jump. >blast my horns. >she panics and floors it right into the busy intersection without looking. >gets t-boned be a full sized chevy truck doing 45mph. >she never stood a chance. >l drove away slowly, went home and ate dinner. >>724775862 # >>724775992 #
: Anonymous 03/08/17(Wed)22:02:56 No.724775776 >drive a creepy r--- van equipped with twin hadley air horns. >pull up behind 16 year old girl in a early 90's vw cabriolet. >at a red light. >she's not paying attention and texting on her phone. >think it would be funny to make her jump. >blast my horns. >she panics and floors it right into the busy intersection without looking. >gets t-boned be a full sized chevy truck doing 45mph. >she never stood a chance. >l drove away slowly, went home and ate dinner. >>724775862 # >>724775992 #

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New slaves | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/14/21(Wed)13:30:39 No.64566197 >playing new vegas for the first time >go for legion faction and beat the game last night >post screenshot in discord gc about how I beat it 167 KB JPG >friend asks what faction I went for >say I went for legion cuz they seemed kinda cool >friend goes on a rant about how the legion is terrible because they r--- women and use them for slavery >tell him its just a video game and it doesnt matter >he tells me slavery is terrible and everyone who chooses the legion unironically is either a massive edgelord or just plain stupid holy f--- do people actually get this worked up about a f------ video game? it doesnt matter if i choose the people who enforce slavery or the people who commit war crimes its a f------ video game lol
: Anonymous 07/14/21(Wed)13:30:39 No.64566197 >playing new vegas for the first time >go for legion faction and beat the game last night >post screenshot in discord gc about how I beat it 167 KB JPG >friend asks what faction I went for >say I went for legion cuz they seemed kinda cool >friend goes on a rant about how the legion is terrible because they r--- women and use them for slavery >tell him its just a video game and it doesnt matter >he tells me slavery is terrible and everyone who chooses the legion unironically is either a massive edgelord or just plain stupid holy f--- do people actually get this worked up about a f------ video game? it doesnt matter if i choose the people who enforce slavery or the people who commit war crimes its a f------ video game lol

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Anon is confused | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/15/21(Thu)01:02:41 No.859010113 >be Russia >Decide to do some trolling >Go on Twitter >say how dogshit america is and how great Russia is >Americans agree 112 KB JPG >??? Are all of them this f------ retarded?
: Anonymous 07/15/21(Thu)01:02:41 No.859010113 >be Russia >Decide to do some trolling >Go on Twitter >say how dogshit america is and how great Russia is >Americans agree 112 KB JPG >??? Are all of them this f------ retarded?

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Anon joins a running group | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/30/20(Thu)19:05:25 No.56511154 >join running group >run leader tells us to sprint up a hill as fast as we can >leg it past everyone else >he pulls me over afterwards and goes on this passive-aggressive talk about how it's not a 16 KB PNG competition >try to rejoin group, he literally puts out an arm in front of me and asks if I understand >he's treating me like a child and I'll look like even more of a child if I argue so I walk away >was literally shaking at the unfairness You literally told us to go as fast as possible you power-tripping c---. F--- normies and f--- socialising.
: Anonymous 01/30/20(Thu)19:05:25 No.56511154 >join running group >run leader tells us to sprint up a hill as fast as we can >leg it past everyone else >he pulls me over afterwards and goes on this passive-aggressive talk about how it's not a 16 KB PNG competition >try to rejoin group, he literally puts out an arm in front of me and asks if I understand >he's treating me like a child and I'll look like even more of a child if I argue so I walk away >was literally shaking at the unfairness You literally told us to go as fast as possible you power-tripping c---. F--- normies and f--- socialising.

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Im starting to hate 4chan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/14/21 (Wed)14:09:37 No.858994292 >finds mcdonalds toy on the ground near my house >you know what that means >pic related 23 KB JPG
: Anonymous 07/14/21 (Wed)14:09:37 No.858994292 >finds mcdonalds toy on the ground near my house >you know what that means >pic related 23 KB JPG

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Anon sees a spider | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/14/21(Wed)12:46:44 No.64562278 f---. >spider crawls on my bed >grab Glock 19 and shoot at it out of fear >accidently shoot through my phone and blast off a chunk of my bedframe 108 KB JPG
: Anonymous 07/14/21(Wed)12:46:44 No.64562278 f---. >spider crawls on my bed >grab Glock 19 and shoot at it out of fear >accidently shoot through my phone and blast off a chunk of my bedframe 108 KB JPG

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Anon meets based grandpa | /r/Greentext

>can't get a job in my town anywhere >been living off of welfare for about 7 years >all because i was the worst retirement home caregiver ever > be 10 years ago > be me, out of high school, trying to do the right thing > get a job taking care of the elderly > good social skills, make friends with them easy > meet one old timer who used to be a big deal in Ford sales > english is pretty good but has a thick euro accent > made friends with him, got him euro snacks from the store > based grandpa always had war flashbacks > ww2, wake up in sweats, screamed about bombs > kept yelling out about killing hitler > "DIE HITLER! DIE HITLER!" > helped calm him but it got worse as weeks went on > based gramps would sing a song about killing hitler sometimes >i would sing along when I could > really cheered him up > thought about applying him to some more social events like the kareoke and talent displays > maybe get him to sing his song > he agrees whole heartedly > I try and memorize it as he sings along > finally nail some of it, but in weird europoor language so i probably sucked > big day comes, he gets dressed up, we go up and start singing >"Her zu uns, reih dich ein!!" >"Her zu uns, reih dich ein!" > most people are looking confused > one old lady vomits > staff try an unplug the mic > "Why?" > they call me a stupid f--- > "it's about killing hitler guys" > they tell me Die Hitlerleute actually means "We are Hitler's people" or something > try and look up the lyrics to prove them wrong > lyrics are largely banned from google > based gramps keeps singing all the way back to his room >i get fired two weeks for something "unrelated" > whole town finds out > never live it down >i miss you based gramps >we had a good time no matter what they say
>can't get a job in my town anywhere >been living off of welfare for about 7 years >all because i was the worst retirement home caregiver ever > be 10 years ago > be me, out of high school, trying to do the right thing > get a job taking care of the elderly > good social skills, make friends with them easy > meet one old timer who used to be a big deal in Ford sales > english is pretty good but has a thick euro accent > made friends with him, got him euro snacks from the store > based grandpa always had war flashbacks > ww2, wake up in sweats, screamed about bombs > kept yelling out about killing hitler > "DIE HITLER! DIE HITLER!" > helped calm him but it got worse as weeks went on > based gramps would sing a song about killing hitler sometimes >i would sing along when I could > really cheered him up > thought about applying him to some more social events like the kareoke and talent displays > maybe get him to sing his song > he agrees whole heartedly > I try and memorize it as he sings along > finally nail some of it, but in weird europoor language so i probably sucked > big day comes, he gets dressed up, we go up and start singing >"Her zu uns, reih dich ein!!" >"Her zu uns, reih dich ein!" > most people are looking confused > one old lady vomits > staff try an unplug the mic > "Why?" > they call me a stupid f--- > "it's about killing hitler guys" > they tell me Die Hitlerleute actually means "We are Hitler's people" or something > try and look up the lyrics to prove them wrong > lyrics are largely banned from google > based gramps keeps singing all the way back to his room >i get fired two weeks for something "unrelated" > whole town finds out > never live it down >i miss you based gramps >we had a good time no matter what they say

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Anon is fucked up | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Coooooo00om 03/23/21(Tue)08:07:07 No.62876647 > be me, 23 > f------ this older girl, she's around 30 > getbusycoomingorgetbusydying > suddenly she grabs my face and leans close 23 KB JPG > wispers 'come for mommy baby boy' > sit there frozen in complete shock > j--- the biggest load of my life Guys I am no longer attracted to girls my age, this bitch has given me a mommy fetish and ruined my life
: Anonymous Coooooo00om 03/23/21(Tue)08:07:07 No.62876647 > be me, 23 > f------ this older girl, she's around 30 > getbusycoomingorgetbusydying > suddenly she grabs my face and leans close 23 KB JPG > wispers 'come for mommy baby boy' > sit there frozen in complete shock > j--- the biggest load of my life Guys I am no longer attracted to girls my age, this bitch has given me a mommy fetish and ruined my life

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Anon goes to a pizza place | /r/Greentext

4665 png (87 KB, 292x292) U Anonymous 11/28/16(Mon)01:19:05 No.8316930 ► >went to the pizza place my dad used to work at >owner tells me funny stories about my dad >then he gives me free pizza and fries fries I had a great time. *O Anonymous 11/28/16(Mon)01:23.39 No.8316931 >28 did you make that face while you were driving home *O Anonymous 11/28/16(Mon)01:25:36 No.8316934 ► >>8316931 Yes Anonymous 11/28/16(Mon)01:35:34 No.8316944 28316946 are you still making that face now Anonymous 11/28/16(Mon)01:36: 16 No.8316946 ► >>8316950 >>8316944 Yeah Anonymous 11/28/16(Mon)01:37:48 No.8316950 >>8316953 >>8316946 I am happy for you anon Anonymous 11/28/16(Mon)01:39:42 No.8316953 ► >>8316950 Thanks
4665 png (87 KB, 292x292) U Anonymous 11/28/16(Mon)01:19:05 No.8316930 ► >went to the pizza place my dad used to work at >owner tells me funny stories about my dad >then he gives me free pizza and fries fries I had a great time. *O Anonymous 11/28/16(Mon)01:23.39 No.8316931 >28 did you make that face while you were driving home *O Anonymous 11/28/16(Mon)01:25:36 No.8316934 ► >>8316931 Yes Anonymous 11/28/16(Mon)01:35:34 No.8316944 28316946 are you still making that face now Anonymous 11/28/16(Mon)01:36: 16 No.8316946 ► >>8316950 >>8316944 Yeah Anonymous 11/28/16(Mon)01:37:48 No.8316950 >>8316953 >>8316946 I am happy for you anon Anonymous 11/28/16(Mon)01:39:42 No.8316953 ► >>8316950 Thanks

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Anon is ignored | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/14/21(Wed)16:46:58 No.858985866 >be me >17 >autistic >barely talk >classmates got used to it >try to improve my social skills >start talking w/ my classmates >they don't even hear me 21 KB JPG
: Anonymous 07/14/21(Wed)16:46:58 No.858985866 >be me >17 >autistic >barely talk >classmates got used to it >try to improve my social skills >start talking w/ my classmates >they don't even hear me 21 KB JPG

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