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Anon gets pranked | /r/Greentext

File: poopepe.png (198 KB, 688x577) O Anonymous 07/13/21(Tue)11:29:16 No.64548663 [Reply] >>64548834 >2049 >My Parents are old "YouTube" prankster >family gathering >dad even bought monster for me >chug the whole can, because wanna be alpha >tummy rumble, dad jumps up and locks door >wat? everybody start cheering >"PRANKED! i put laxative in ya Monster!!" >i beginn to s--- myself, get hefty cramps >crawl towards the locked door TWEE THERE >Say the line, Anon! >"wee wee wee," >"that was more than just pee" >the "event" was livestreamed to a few hundred people >next day shirts are printed with my crawling through s---
File: poopepe.png (198 KB, 688x577) O Anonymous 07/13/21(Tue)11:29:16 No.64548663 [Reply] >>64548834 >2049 >My Parents are old "YouTube" prankster >family gathering >dad even bought monster for me >chug the whole can, because wanna be alpha >tummy rumble, dad jumps up and locks door >wat? everybody start cheering >"PRANKED! i put laxative in ya Monster!!" >i beginn to s--- myself, get hefty cramps >crawl towards the locked door TWEE THERE >Say the line, Anon! >"wee wee wee," >"that was more than just pee" >the "event" was livestreamed to a few hundred people >next day shirts are printed with my crawling through s---

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Anon is an incel | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/13/21(Tue)15:07:29 No.64553646 THIS IS OUR HOME. >a girl will never want to hug and cuddle with you >a girl will never want to gently scratch your back and rub your WELCOME BACK shoulders KNOW >a girl will never want to whisper sweet things to you 349 KB PNG >a girl will never want to wrap her arms around you and kiss you >a girl will never want to tease you and turn you on >a girl will never want to pleasure you sexually >a girl will never want to indulge your fantasies >a girl will never want to dress up for you in the way you like >a girl will never want to plan a surprise for you >a girl will never want to spend the night alone with you >a girl will never want to wake up next to you >a girl will never want to look into your eyes
: Anonymous 07/13/21(Tue)15:07:29 No.64553646 THIS IS OUR HOME. >a girl will never want to hug and cuddle with you >a girl will never want to gently scratch your back and rub your WELCOME BACK shoulders KNOW >a girl will never want to whisper sweet things to you 349 KB PNG >a girl will never want to wrap her arms around you and kiss you >a girl will never want to tease you and turn you on >a girl will never want to pleasure you sexually >a girl will never want to indulge your fantasies >a girl will never want to dress up for you in the way you like >a girl will never want to plan a surprise for you >a girl will never want to spend the night alone with you >a girl will never want to wake up next to you >a girl will never want to look into your eyes

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Cos and effect | /r/Greentext

File: 66153160_2258320694430491(...).jpg (151 KB, 908x1614) Anonymous 07/12/21(Mon)16:58:15 No.64541776 >>64541852 >>64541866 >>64541942 >>64542088 >>64542117 >>64543094 >>64543140 >2019 >Go to an anime convention because they say, the girls there are fat and easy >See tall sperg chads orbiting every cosplayer >Cosplayers get cold-approached for pictures every minute >See confident, loud neckbeards surrounded by girls. Incels are at the bottom of social hierarchy, no matter what environment pic related, random slut at the con i attended >> Anonymous 07/ 21(Mon)17:03:39 No.64541846 >> Anonymous 07/12/21(Mon)17:03:57 No.64541852
File: 66153160_2258320694430491(...).jpg (151 KB, 908x1614) Anonymous 07/12/21(Mon)16:58:15 No.64541776 >>64541852 >>64541866 >>64541942 >>64542088 >>64542117 >>64543094 >>64543140 >2019 >Go to an anime convention because they say, the girls there are fat and easy >See tall sperg chads orbiting every cosplayer >Cosplayers get cold-approached for pictures every minute >See confident, loud neckbeards surrounded by girls. Incels are at the bottom of social hierarchy, no matter what environment pic related, random slut at the con i attended >> Anonymous 07/ 21(Mon)17:03:39 No.64541846 >> Anonymous 07/12/21(Mon)17:03:57 No.64541852

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Anon's OnlyFans origin story | /r/Greentext

>be me >feel like somethings not right with my body >just want to feel okay being me >go see plastic surgeon that specializes in gender stuff >tell them I want a vagina >"oh, so you want to transition into a 42 KB JPG female?" >no, I like my donger but still want a vagina >"what?" >ask if they can can turn my anus into a beautiful vagina >"what?" >a vaganus How the f--- am I supposed to afford a $25,000 surgery. The American Healthcare system is a joke.
>be me >feel like somethings not right with my body >just want to feel okay being me >go see plastic surgeon that specializes in gender stuff >tell them I want a vagina >"oh, so you want to transition into a 42 KB JPG female?" >no, I like my donger but still want a vagina >"what?" >ask if they can can turn my anus into a beautiful vagina >"what?" >a vaganus How the f--- am I supposed to afford a $25,000 surgery. The American Healthcare system is a joke.

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Anon has a bug buddy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/14/21(Wed)07:14:25 No.64558307 >be me one night| >feel sad missing my mother who passed away >i feel something on my arm >bug buddy flies onto my arm and starts to tickle me >i look at him and try and touch >doesn't even move, just sits there an 546 KB PNG dlooks around >launch up FNV >he flies next to me on my table >watches me play >doesn't ask, doesn't say anything >jumps around whenever I kill someone >in that playthrough I managed to side with the legion after hours >he just sits there the entire way through watching >an actual friend >a buddy >my bugbuddy thank you bug buddy, i don't know where you are now but you helped me alot that one night
: Anonymous 07/14/21(Wed)07:14:25 No.64558307 >be me one night| >feel sad missing my mother who passed away >i feel something on my arm >bug buddy flies onto my arm and starts to tickle me >i look at him and try and touch >doesn't even move, just sits there an 546 KB PNG dlooks around >launch up FNV >he flies next to me on my table >watches me play >doesn't ask, doesn't say anything >jumps around whenever I kill someone >in that playthrough I managed to side with the legion after hours >he just sits there the entire way through watching >an actual friend >a buddy >my bugbuddy thank you bug buddy, i don't know where you are now but you helped me alot that one night

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femanon goes to hot topic | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/13/21(Tue)19:37:50 No.858950699 >be me >10/10 femanon >at mall with friends >walk past a store >"hot topic?" >friend says its a pop- 215 KB JPG culture store >mightaswell.png >walk in with 300$ of daddy's money >walk out as a 1/10 landwhale with a bakugo t-shirt, bts lanyard, and 18 pins for the "my hero academia" backpack i bought >friends stop hanging out with me its okay though because im not like other girls pic related
: Anonymous 07/13/21(Tue)19:37:50 No.858950699 >be me >10/10 femanon >at mall with friends >walk past a store >"hot topic?" >friend says its a pop- 215 KB JPG culture store >mightaswell.png >walk in with 300$ of daddy's money >walk out as a 1/10 landwhale with a bakugo t-shirt, bts lanyard, and 18 pins for the "my hero academia" backpack i bought >friends stop hanging out with me its okay though because im not like other girls pic related

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Anon is afraid to lose height | /r/Greentext

Anonymous No.35202309 Yesterday Do squats make you shorter? I've been hearing it does and not quite sure if it's a meme or not. I'm currently 6'0 and can't afford to lose a millimeter since by paper I will become a manlet ;; 13 replies Anonymous No.35202344 Yesterday Yes they make you shorter but dont worry jist complete the rep and youll return to your normal height. 4 replies ... ...
Anonymous No.35202309 Yesterday Do squats make you shorter? I've been hearing it does and not quite sure if it's a meme or not. I'm currently 6'0 and can't afford to lose a millimeter since by paper I will become a manlet ;; 13 replies Anonymous No.35202344 Yesterday Yes they make you shorter but dont worry jist complete the rep and youll return to your normal height. 4 replies ... ...

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Anon is a Sumo Wrestler | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/13/21(Tue)13:52:58 No.1849359 BOAE16C5-BC1A-4AA9-8F13-BA47583DC55E.jpg 295 KB JPG >be me, absolute unit >6'8 almost 700 pounds >fat as s--- but seen as a sex symbol in Japan >Strong as f---, literally manhandle guys that weigh over 400 pounds >can take any subservient Japanese concubine under my fat wings >what's my name? >F------ CHAD
: Anonymous 07/13/21(Tue)13:52:58 No.1849359 BOAE16C5-BC1A-4AA9-8F13-BA47583DC55E.jpg 295 KB JPG >be me, absolute unit >6'8 almost 700 pounds >fat as s--- but seen as a sex symbol in Japan >Strong as f---, literally manhandle guys that weigh over 400 pounds >can take any subservient Japanese concubine under my fat wings >what's my name? >F------ CHAD

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Anon has a fantastic idea. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/13/21(Tue)18:57:06 No.858954461 >be born female >be genderfluid >have sex with straight male >switch to male in the middle of sex >bitch is gay now Imao owned 33 KB JPG
: Anonymous 07/13/21(Tue)18:57:06 No.858954461 >be born female >be genderfluid >have sex with straight male >switch to male in the middle of sex >bitch is gay now Imao owned 33 KB JPG

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Anon Watches Vsauce | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/18/19(Mon)21:50:28 No.792989476 >be me >talented guitarist and pianist >won numerous talent shows >also a big fan of the youtube channel Vsauce >one day get into an accident >lose my fingers as a result >l have to type with my nose 120 KB JPG >can no longer play instruments >my life passions are gone >feeling really depressed >see a new Vsauce video in my subscriptions box >"Is Anything Real?" uploaded June 3rd 2013 >so excited to watch a new Vsauce video >video starts >"Hey, Vsauce! Michael here! Where are your fingers?" >immediately start crying
: Anonymous 08/18/19(Mon)21:50:28 No.792989476 >be me >talented guitarist and pianist >won numerous talent shows >also a big fan of the youtube channel Vsauce >one day get into an accident >lose my fingers as a result >l have to type with my nose 120 KB JPG >can no longer play instruments >my life passions are gone >feeling really depressed >see a new Vsauce video in my subscriptions box >"Is Anything Real?" uploaded June 3rd 2013 >so excited to watch a new Vsauce video >video starts >"Hey, Vsauce! Michael here! Where are your fingers?" >immediately start crying

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Anon greets his fellows | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/30/20(Thu)14:51:55 No.83322440 >Be me >Pizza delivery driver >Be delivering to a house at the same time as the mailman >Wave to him Feels Rad >He grins and waves back >We are fellow delivery men >We are brothers 21 KB PNG
: Anonymous 07/30/20(Thu)14:51:55 No.83322440 >Be me >Pizza delivery driver >Be delivering to a house at the same time as the mailman >Wave to him Feels Rad >He grins and waves back >We are fellow delivery men >We are brothers 21 KB PNG

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Anon losts the love of his life. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/12/21(Mon)23:45:58 No.858902333 >be me >be in love with a girl >she is in love with me >our parents discover our relationship and hate it >mom tells me to wait if I truly love her 19 KB JPG >l believe her >few years go by >she is confused why I stopped talking to her >she starts to hate me >she doesn't love me anymore >she blocks me from all social media and disappears >mfw I still love her >mfw I believed my mom >mfw when my mom sabotaged my relationship because she thought being pregnant with me was a mistake that ruined her career >mfw she brainwashed me to goto college instead of spend my life with the love of my life >finally unravel all the emotional damage of the f----- up situation >try to start dating again >can't get anywhere because every little thing reminds me of her >my heart isn't in it at all >everybody else sucks compared to her tl:dr love is real when you are young but you are too stupid to make the correct choices. then love fades away. then there is love nowhere to be found.
: Anonymous 07/12/21(Mon)23:45:58 No.858902333 >be me >be in love with a girl >she is in love with me >our parents discover our relationship and hate it >mom tells me to wait if I truly love her 19 KB JPG >l believe her >few years go by >she is confused why I stopped talking to her >she starts to hate me >she doesn't love me anymore >she blocks me from all social media and disappears >mfw I still love her >mfw I believed my mom >mfw when my mom sabotaged my relationship because she thought being pregnant with me was a mistake that ruined her career >mfw she brainwashed me to goto college instead of spend my life with the love of my life >finally unravel all the emotional damage of the f----- up situation >try to start dating again >can't get anywhere because every little thing reminds me of her >my heart isn't in it at all >everybody else sucks compared to her tl:dr love is real when you are young but you are too stupid to make the correct choices. then love fades away. then there is love nowhere to be found.

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anon playing online | /r/Greentext

Sage 07/13/21(Tue)21:49:31 No.563659903 2>563660308 >>563660853 >>563661420 >online match is about to end >type "ni" >nerd from the enemy team types "gg" >type "er" >report the nerd for racism >> Anonymous 07/13/21(Tue)21:50:48 No.563660020 pretty big brain ngl >> Anonymous 07/13/21(Tue)21:51:52 No.563660138 >>563660731 >sage in name field newfag
Sage 07/13/21(Tue)21:49:31 No.563659903 2>563660308 >>563660853 >>563661420 >online match is about to end >type "ni" >nerd from the enemy team types "gg" >type "er" >report the nerd for racism >> Anonymous 07/13/21(Tue)21:50:48 No.563660020 pretty big brain ngl >> Anonymous 07/13/21(Tue)21:51:52 No.563660138 >>563660731 >sage in name field newfag

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Anon is a thug | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/13/21(Tue)23:54:35 No.858941903 STORY THREAD. >be me THUG LIFE >walk into gym wearing tiny 80's shorts and fake mustache >see literal 9.5/10 girl running on treadmill with earphones in >walk up to her, motion for her to take her 41 KB JPG earphones out >tell her she's alright looking but not really my type >walk away and leave the gym >hang out in my car in the parking lot, flying my rc helicopter all over the place >girl walks out >do 30mph fly-bys inches above her head and chase her running and screaming to her car >drink the rest of my nesquik and head home
: Anonymous 07/13/21(Tue)23:54:35 No.858941903 STORY THREAD. >be me THUG LIFE >walk into gym wearing tiny 80's shorts and fake mustache >see literal 9.5/10 girl running on treadmill with earphones in >walk up to her, motion for her to take her 41 KB JPG earphones out >tell her she's alright looking but not really my type >walk away and leave the gym >hang out in my car in the parking lot, flying my rc helicopter all over the place >girl walks out >do 30mph fly-bys inches above her head and chase her running and screaming to her car >drink the rest of my nesquik and head home

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anon asks a question | /r/Greentext


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Anon is a furry | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 1 hour ago 50384873 >have dream about f------ bugs bunny >wake up >not attracted to women ??? ??? anymore what the f---
Anonymous 1 hour ago 50384873 >have dream about f------ bugs bunny >wake up >not attracted to women ??? ??? anymore what the f---

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Anon wakes up in Britain | /r/Greentext


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Anon talks about his fetish | /r/Greentext


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Anon is a government | /r/Greentext


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ITS NOT A MEME | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: QOLBQKFW ITS NOT A MEME 07/13/21(Tue)10:37:50 No.329777400 >put on one of these >Tinnitus goes away >urge to masturbate goes away >Focus x 1000 >no headaches for six months >suicidal nagging thoughts gone 284 KB JPG >clearheaded and able to read and comprehend more >Not craving t----- p--- >productive, don't watch anime or Vidya all day >erectile dysfunction...gone >losing weight, skin clears up >myriad other benefits too much too list Does any1 else foilmax or is it just me? I seriously have been doing this at home. My theory is that it DOES block the cellphone 5g microwave radiation. Ive never slept better in my life.
: Anonymous (ID: QOLBQKFW ITS NOT A MEME 07/13/21(Tue)10:37:50 No.329777400 >put on one of these >Tinnitus goes away >urge to masturbate goes away >Focus x 1000 >no headaches for six months >suicidal nagging thoughts gone 284 KB JPG >clearheaded and able to read and comprehend more >Not craving t----- p--- >productive, don't watch anime or Vidya all day >erectile dysfunction...gone >losing weight, skin clears up >myriad other benefits too much too list Does any1 else foilmax or is it just me? I seriously have been doing this at home. My theory is that it DOES block the cellphone 5g microwave radiation. Ive never slept better in my life.

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