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Anon gets ghosted | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/13/21(Tue)23:48:51 No.858966322 >Be 25 and start talking to cute girl at the bar of a pizza place >hit it off and she tells me shes actually 20 >play chess with some old dudes outside a bar >get back to her place eventually >lay in her bed for a bit doing nothing >she turns over and we start making out >touch p--- grab d--- >she get on top and starts riding me >she does this for a minute and then says hold on and get off and lays down next to me >i think she just want to change positions >i get over her and stick it in and notice shes crying >talks about her being r---- by her friend last week >l stop and goto sleep without nutting >she ghosts me >see her a few weeks later at a bar in town and she literally runs away when she makes eye contact with me. I didnt even try to talk to her. s--- kinda sucked, but i got iit in atleast.
: Anonymous 07/13/21(Tue)23:48:51 No.858966322 >Be 25 and start talking to cute girl at the bar of a pizza place >hit it off and she tells me shes actually 20 >play chess with some old dudes outside a bar >get back to her place eventually >lay in her bed for a bit doing nothing >she turns over and we start making out >touch p--- grab d--- >she get on top and starts riding me >she does this for a minute and then says hold on and get off and lays down next to me >i think she just want to change positions >i get over her and stick it in and notice shes crying >talks about her being r---- by her friend last week >l stop and goto sleep without nutting >she ghosts me >see her a few weeks later at a bar in town and she literally runs away when she makes eye contact with me. I didnt even try to talk to her. s--- kinda sucked, but i got iit in atleast.

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anon does like his clowns | /r/Greentext


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Anon’s autism saves him | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous autism saved me 07/13/21(Tue)17:31:21 No.64555287 >be me >2016 >at senior prom, last year of high school >just kinda stand in the corner awkwardly >popular girl walks up to me 32 KB JPG >"hi anon want to dance with me" >autism kicks in >stare at her awakwardly >panic and say no >she stares at me, her face is completely blank >speed walks away to her friend >feel awkward and leave the prom >next day >person comes up to me >tells me the girl wanted me to say yes so she could go just kidding
: Anonymous autism saved me 07/13/21(Tue)17:31:21 No.64555287 >be me >2016 >at senior prom, last year of high school >just kinda stand in the corner awkwardly >popular girl walks up to me 32 KB JPG >"hi anon want to dance with me" >autism kicks in >stare at her awakwardly >panic and say no >she stares at me, her face is completely blank >speed walks away to her friend >feel awkward and leave the prom >next day >person comes up to me >tells me the girl wanted me to say yes so she could go just kidding

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anon fucks up | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Be me 10/14/19(Mon)03:30:02 No.42892771 >walking home one night >Mugger comes out of nowhere >"Give me your wallet!" 115 KB JPG >Unload my FN Five-seveN on him instead >Realize thatI used 20 rounds of 5.7*28mm ammo MFW it would have been cheaper to just hand over the wallet
: Anonymous Be me 10/14/19(Mon)03:30:02 No.42892771 >walking home one night >Mugger comes out of nowhere >"Give me your wallet!" 115 KB JPG >Unload my FN Five-seveN on him instead >Realize thatI used 20 rounds of 5.7*28mm ammo MFW it would have been cheaper to just hand over the wallet

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Anon makes do | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/13/21(Tue)13:48:17 No.20400878 >could always lick the tip >did it occasionally, didn't really feel good >go to a party at 19 >meet hot girl >know from friends she's easy as f--- >talking with her for about an hour >party host pulls me aside, says he called her there so another dude could bang her >blue balled >return home >thinking about how close I was to get that super hot p---- >to say my d--- was diamonds would be an understatement >try to self suck >can almost take all of it >feels great >p---- out and don't c-- in my mouth but still c-- like a fountain >never managed to do it like that again >never saw the girl again >other dude didn't bang her either which made me super mad when I learned about it
: Anonymous 07/13/21(Tue)13:48:17 No.20400878 >could always lick the tip >did it occasionally, didn't really feel good >go to a party at 19 >meet hot girl >know from friends she's easy as f--- >talking with her for about an hour >party host pulls me aside, says he called her there so another dude could bang her >blue balled >return home >thinking about how close I was to get that super hot p---- >to say my d--- was diamonds would be an understatement >try to self suck >can almost take all of it >feels great >p---- out and don't c-- in my mouth but still c-- like a fountain >never managed to do it like that again >never saw the girl again >other dude didn't bang her either which made me super mad when I learned about it

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anon plays Skyrim | /r/Greentext

> be me > play Skyrim > enter Whiterun inn > guy challenges me to drinking contest > the p---- stops drinking after the second mug > continue drinking and pass out in the middle of the inn > wake up in a Markarth temple on the other side of the map > stupid looking nun tells me I broke in and trashed the place > angrily demands that I clean it up > fus ro dah her to death > leave temple and go to the market > mfw an assassin immediately kills a random street merchant > assassin yells, "The Reach belongs to the Forsworn!" > everyone freaks the f--- out > assassin gets sniped by random guard > guard says, "Everyone stay calm! The situation is under control. There are no Forsworn here." > ignore the dead merchant on the ground and try to leave > mfw I see a whole ass Forsworn army charging towards the city > mfw almost all the guards are killed in the assault > save the city by blowing up all the assailants with magic > go up to the only surviving guard in sight to hear what he has to say > "this is Markarth, traveler. Safest city in the reach."
> be me > play Skyrim > enter Whiterun inn > guy challenges me to drinking contest > the p---- stops drinking after the second mug > continue drinking and pass out in the middle of the inn > wake up in a Markarth temple on the other side of the map > stupid looking nun tells me I broke in and trashed the place > angrily demands that I clean it up > fus ro dah her to death > leave temple and go to the market > mfw an assassin immediately kills a random street merchant > assassin yells, "The Reach belongs to the Forsworn!" > everyone freaks the f--- out > assassin gets sniped by random guard > guard says, "Everyone stay calm! The situation is under control. There are no Forsworn here." > ignore the dead merchant on the ground and try to leave > mfw I see a whole ass Forsworn army charging towards the city > mfw almost all the guards are killed in the assault > save the city by blowing up all the assailants with magic > go up to the only surviving guard in sight to hear what he has to say > "this is Markarth, traveler. Safest city in the reach."

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Britanon is worried about the World Cup | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous : 07/13/21(Tue)19:26:32 No.110999825 Bro's I'm getting a little anxious about the World Cup. What if we get beaten by USA and we get bullied with people saying doopin mental at us for years? We're way better than them right? 88 KB PNG : Anonymous 07/13/21(Tue)19:31:12 No.110999964 >>110999825 (OP) # >We're way better than them right? >... >We're way better than them, right? 9 KB JPG >>111000450 #
: Anonymous : 07/13/21(Tue)19:26:32 No.110999825 Bro's I'm getting a little anxious about the World Cup. What if we get beaten by USA and we get bullied with people saying doopin mental at us for years? We're way better than them right? 88 KB PNG : Anonymous 07/13/21(Tue)19:31:12 No.110999964 >>110999825 (OP) # >We're way better than them right? >... >We're way better than them, right? 9 KB JPG >>111000450 #

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Anon gets pranked | /r/Greentext

File: poopepe.png (198 KB, 688x577) O Anonymous 07/13/21(Tue)11:29:16 No.64548663 [Reply] >>64548834 >2049 >My Parents are old "YouTube" prankster >family gathering >dad even bought monster for me >chug the whole can, because wanna be alpha >tummy rumble, dad jumps up and locks door >wat? everybody start cheering >"PRANKED! i put laxative in ya Monster!!" >i beginn to s--- myself, get hefty cramps >crawl towards the locked door TWEE THERE >Say the line, Anon! >"wee wee wee," >"that was more than just pee" >the "event" was livestreamed to a few hundred people >next day shirts are printed with my crawling through s---
File: poopepe.png (198 KB, 688x577) O Anonymous 07/13/21(Tue)11:29:16 No.64548663 [Reply] >>64548834 >2049 >My Parents are old "YouTube" prankster >family gathering >dad even bought monster for me >chug the whole can, because wanna be alpha >tummy rumble, dad jumps up and locks door >wat? everybody start cheering >"PRANKED! i put laxative in ya Monster!!" >i beginn to s--- myself, get hefty cramps >crawl towards the locked door TWEE THERE >Say the line, Anon! >"wee wee wee," >"that was more than just pee" >the "event" was livestreamed to a few hundred people >next day shirts are printed with my crawling through s---

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Anon is an incel | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/13/21(Tue)15:07:29 No.64553646 THIS IS OUR HOME. >a girl will never want to hug and cuddle with you >a girl will never want to gently scratch your back and rub your WELCOME BACK shoulders KNOW >a girl will never want to whisper sweet things to you 349 KB PNG >a girl will never want to wrap her arms around you and kiss you >a girl will never want to tease you and turn you on >a girl will never want to pleasure you sexually >a girl will never want to indulge your fantasies >a girl will never want to dress up for you in the way you like >a girl will never want to plan a surprise for you >a girl will never want to spend the night alone with you >a girl will never want to wake up next to you >a girl will never want to look into your eyes
: Anonymous 07/13/21(Tue)15:07:29 No.64553646 THIS IS OUR HOME. >a girl will never want to hug and cuddle with you >a girl will never want to gently scratch your back and rub your WELCOME BACK shoulders KNOW >a girl will never want to whisper sweet things to you 349 KB PNG >a girl will never want to wrap her arms around you and kiss you >a girl will never want to tease you and turn you on >a girl will never want to pleasure you sexually >a girl will never want to indulge your fantasies >a girl will never want to dress up for you in the way you like >a girl will never want to plan a surprise for you >a girl will never want to spend the night alone with you >a girl will never want to wake up next to you >a girl will never want to look into your eyes

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Cos and effect | /r/Greentext

File: 66153160_2258320694430491(...).jpg (151 KB, 908x1614) Anonymous 07/12/21(Mon)16:58:15 No.64541776 >>64541852 >>64541866 >>64541942 >>64542088 >>64542117 >>64543094 >>64543140 >2019 >Go to an anime convention because they say, the girls there are fat and easy >See tall sperg chads orbiting every cosplayer >Cosplayers get cold-approached for pictures every minute >See confident, loud neckbeards surrounded by girls. Incels are at the bottom of social hierarchy, no matter what environment pic related, random slut at the con i attended >> Anonymous 07/ 21(Mon)17:03:39 No.64541846 >> Anonymous 07/12/21(Mon)17:03:57 No.64541852
File: 66153160_2258320694430491(...).jpg (151 KB, 908x1614) Anonymous 07/12/21(Mon)16:58:15 No.64541776 >>64541852 >>64541866 >>64541942 >>64542088 >>64542117 >>64543094 >>64543140 >2019 >Go to an anime convention because they say, the girls there are fat and easy >See tall sperg chads orbiting every cosplayer >Cosplayers get cold-approached for pictures every minute >See confident, loud neckbeards surrounded by girls. Incels are at the bottom of social hierarchy, no matter what environment pic related, random slut at the con i attended >> Anonymous 07/ 21(Mon)17:03:39 No.64541846 >> Anonymous 07/12/21(Mon)17:03:57 No.64541852

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Anon's OnlyFans origin story | /r/Greentext

>be me >feel like somethings not right with my body >just want to feel okay being me >go see plastic surgeon that specializes in gender stuff >tell them I want a vagina >"oh, so you want to transition into a 42 KB JPG female?" >no, I like my donger but still want a vagina >"what?" >ask if they can can turn my anus into a beautiful vagina >"what?" >a vaganus How the f--- am I supposed to afford a $25,000 surgery. The American Healthcare system is a joke.
>be me >feel like somethings not right with my body >just want to feel okay being me >go see plastic surgeon that specializes in gender stuff >tell them I want a vagina >"oh, so you want to transition into a 42 KB JPG female?" >no, I like my donger but still want a vagina >"what?" >ask if they can can turn my anus into a beautiful vagina >"what?" >a vaganus How the f--- am I supposed to afford a $25,000 surgery. The American Healthcare system is a joke.

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Anon has a bug buddy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/14/21(Wed)07:14:25 No.64558307 >be me one night| >feel sad missing my mother who passed away >i feel something on my arm >bug buddy flies onto my arm and starts to tickle me >i look at him and try and touch >doesn't even move, just sits there an 546 KB PNG dlooks around >launch up FNV >he flies next to me on my table >watches me play >doesn't ask, doesn't say anything >jumps around whenever I kill someone >in that playthrough I managed to side with the legion after hours >he just sits there the entire way through watching >an actual friend >a buddy >my bugbuddy thank you bug buddy, i don't know where you are now but you helped me alot that one night
: Anonymous 07/14/21(Wed)07:14:25 No.64558307 >be me one night| >feel sad missing my mother who passed away >i feel something on my arm >bug buddy flies onto my arm and starts to tickle me >i look at him and try and touch >doesn't even move, just sits there an 546 KB PNG dlooks around >launch up FNV >he flies next to me on my table >watches me play >doesn't ask, doesn't say anything >jumps around whenever I kill someone >in that playthrough I managed to side with the legion after hours >he just sits there the entire way through watching >an actual friend >a buddy >my bugbuddy thank you bug buddy, i don't know where you are now but you helped me alot that one night

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femanon goes to hot topic | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/13/21(Tue)19:37:50 No.858950699 >be me >10/10 femanon >at mall with friends >walk past a store >"hot topic?" >friend says its a pop- 215 KB JPG culture store >mightaswell.png >walk in with 300$ of daddy's money >walk out as a 1/10 landwhale with a bakugo t-shirt, bts lanyard, and 18 pins for the "my hero academia" backpack i bought >friends stop hanging out with me its okay though because im not like other girls pic related
: Anonymous 07/13/21(Tue)19:37:50 No.858950699 >be me >10/10 femanon >at mall with friends >walk past a store >"hot topic?" >friend says its a pop- 215 KB JPG culture store >mightaswell.png >walk in with 300$ of daddy's money >walk out as a 1/10 landwhale with a bakugo t-shirt, bts lanyard, and 18 pins for the "my hero academia" backpack i bought >friends stop hanging out with me its okay though because im not like other girls pic related

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Anon is afraid to lose height | /r/Greentext

Anonymous No.35202309 Yesterday Do squats make you shorter? I've been hearing it does and not quite sure if it's a meme or not. I'm currently 6'0 and can't afford to lose a millimeter since by paper I will become a manlet ;; 13 replies Anonymous No.35202344 Yesterday Yes they make you shorter but dont worry jist complete the rep and youll return to your normal height. 4 replies ... ...
Anonymous No.35202309 Yesterday Do squats make you shorter? I've been hearing it does and not quite sure if it's a meme or not. I'm currently 6'0 and can't afford to lose a millimeter since by paper I will become a manlet ;; 13 replies Anonymous No.35202344 Yesterday Yes they make you shorter but dont worry jist complete the rep and youll return to your normal height. 4 replies ... ...

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Anon is a Sumo Wrestler | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/13/21(Tue)13:52:58 No.1849359 BOAE16C5-BC1A-4AA9-8F13-BA47583DC55E.jpg 295 KB JPG >be me, absolute unit >6'8 almost 700 pounds >fat as s--- but seen as a sex symbol in Japan >Strong as f---, literally manhandle guys that weigh over 400 pounds >can take any subservient Japanese concubine under my fat wings >what's my name? >F------ CHAD
: Anonymous 07/13/21(Tue)13:52:58 No.1849359 BOAE16C5-BC1A-4AA9-8F13-BA47583DC55E.jpg 295 KB JPG >be me, absolute unit >6'8 almost 700 pounds >fat as s--- but seen as a sex symbol in Japan >Strong as f---, literally manhandle guys that weigh over 400 pounds >can take any subservient Japanese concubine under my fat wings >what's my name? >F------ CHAD

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Anon has a fantastic idea. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/13/21(Tue)18:57:06 No.858954461 >be born female >be genderfluid >have sex with straight male >switch to male in the middle of sex >bitch is gay now Imao owned 33 KB JPG
: Anonymous 07/13/21(Tue)18:57:06 No.858954461 >be born female >be genderfluid >have sex with straight male >switch to male in the middle of sex >bitch is gay now Imao owned 33 KB JPG

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Anon Watches Vsauce | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/18/19(Mon)21:50:28 No.792989476 >be me >talented guitarist and pianist >won numerous talent shows >also a big fan of the youtube channel Vsauce >one day get into an accident >lose my fingers as a result >l have to type with my nose 120 KB JPG >can no longer play instruments >my life passions are gone >feeling really depressed >see a new Vsauce video in my subscriptions box >"Is Anything Real?" uploaded June 3rd 2013 >so excited to watch a new Vsauce video >video starts >"Hey, Vsauce! Michael here! Where are your fingers?" >immediately start crying
: Anonymous 08/18/19(Mon)21:50:28 No.792989476 >be me >talented guitarist and pianist >won numerous talent shows >also a big fan of the youtube channel Vsauce >one day get into an accident >lose my fingers as a result >l have to type with my nose 120 KB JPG >can no longer play instruments >my life passions are gone >feeling really depressed >see a new Vsauce video in my subscriptions box >"Is Anything Real?" uploaded June 3rd 2013 >so excited to watch a new Vsauce video >video starts >"Hey, Vsauce! Michael here! Where are your fingers?" >immediately start crying

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Anon greets his fellows | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/30/20(Thu)14:51:55 No.83322440 >Be me >Pizza delivery driver >Be delivering to a house at the same time as the mailman >Wave to him Feels Rad >He grins and waves back >We are fellow delivery men >We are brothers 21 KB PNG
: Anonymous 07/30/20(Thu)14:51:55 No.83322440 >Be me >Pizza delivery driver >Be delivering to a house at the same time as the mailman >Wave to him Feels Rad >He grins and waves back >We are fellow delivery men >We are brothers 21 KB PNG

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Anon losts the love of his life. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/12/21(Mon)23:45:58 No.858902333 >be me >be in love with a girl >she is in love with me >our parents discover our relationship and hate it >mom tells me to wait if I truly love her 19 KB JPG >l believe her >few years go by >she is confused why I stopped talking to her >she starts to hate me >she doesn't love me anymore >she blocks me from all social media and disappears >mfw I still love her >mfw I believed my mom >mfw when my mom sabotaged my relationship because she thought being pregnant with me was a mistake that ruined her career >mfw she brainwashed me to goto college instead of spend my life with the love of my life >finally unravel all the emotional damage of the f----- up situation >try to start dating again >can't get anywhere because every little thing reminds me of her >my heart isn't in it at all >everybody else sucks compared to her tl:dr love is real when you are young but you are too stupid to make the correct choices. then love fades away. then there is love nowhere to be found.
: Anonymous 07/12/21(Mon)23:45:58 No.858902333 >be me >be in love with a girl >she is in love with me >our parents discover our relationship and hate it >mom tells me to wait if I truly love her 19 KB JPG >l believe her >few years go by >she is confused why I stopped talking to her >she starts to hate me >she doesn't love me anymore >she blocks me from all social media and disappears >mfw I still love her >mfw I believed my mom >mfw when my mom sabotaged my relationship because she thought being pregnant with me was a mistake that ruined her career >mfw she brainwashed me to goto college instead of spend my life with the love of my life >finally unravel all the emotional damage of the f----- up situation >try to start dating again >can't get anywhere because every little thing reminds me of her >my heart isn't in it at all >everybody else sucks compared to her tl:dr love is real when you are young but you are too stupid to make the correct choices. then love fades away. then there is love nowhere to be found.

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anon playing online | /r/Greentext

Sage 07/13/21(Tue)21:49:31 No.563659903 2>563660308 >>563660853 >>563661420 >online match is about to end >type "ni" >nerd from the enemy team types "gg" >type "er" >report the nerd for racism >> Anonymous 07/13/21(Tue)21:50:48 No.563660020 pretty big brain ngl >> Anonymous 07/13/21(Tue)21:51:52 No.563660138 >>563660731 >sage in name field newfag
Sage 07/13/21(Tue)21:49:31 No.563659903 2>563660308 >>563660853 >>563661420 >online match is about to end >type "ni" >nerd from the enemy team types "gg" >type "er" >report the nerd for racism >> Anonymous 07/13/21(Tue)21:50:48 No.563660020 pretty big brain ngl >> Anonymous 07/13/21(Tue)21:51:52 No.563660138 >>563660731 >sage in name field newfag

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