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Anon is mongolian | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 790130879 Acum 1 h ... >Be me >Have aspergers >Friends bully me about it all the time >Saying I'm mongolian >Saying I have retard diploma from doctor >Gonna prove them wrong with a 23andme test 5,5 kB PNG >Notmongolian.png >Friend laughs >Says I took the wrong test >Should have gotten 24andme >mfw O REPLIES 3 IMAGES REPLY
Anonymous | 790130879 Acum 1 h ... >Be me >Have aspergers >Friends bully me about it all the time >Saying I'm mongolian >Saying I have retard diploma from doctor >Gonna prove them wrong with a 23andme test 5,5 kB PNG >Notmongolian.png >Friend laughs >Says I took the wrong test >Should have gotten 24andme >mfw O REPLIES 3 IMAGES REPLY

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Anon is a dumbass that doesn't do research | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/13/21(Tue)10:52:42 No.858907542 [Reply] > >>858908091 Failed attempt thread: post your attempts, and why they were just attempts, I've got a couple and they were all foiled by my own stupidity. here goes. >be me, 16 suicidal for irrelevant reasons >been shooting a couple times, mostly .22s and S&W revolvers because fudd town >come up with a plan >steal my dad's Colt revolver, one 357, and his pain meds >go up to my room >load revolver >eat pills >wait for pills to kick in >gun to head >pull trigger >click >look at cylinder >in my drug induced stupor think that a miracle has just occurred and that the cartridge switched chambers >years later read that Colt revolvers rotate opposite from S&W revolvers I'll post the other, equally stupid story if anyone gives a s---
Anonymous 07/13/21(Tue)10:52:42 No.858907542 [Reply] > >>858908091 Failed attempt thread: post your attempts, and why they were just attempts, I've got a couple and they were all foiled by my own stupidity. here goes. >be me, 16 suicidal for irrelevant reasons >been shooting a couple times, mostly .22s and S&W revolvers because fudd town >come up with a plan >steal my dad's Colt revolver, one 357, and his pain meds >go up to my room >load revolver >eat pills >wait for pills to kick in >gun to head >pull trigger >click >look at cylinder >in my drug induced stupor think that a miracle has just occurred and that the cartridge switched chambers >years later read that Colt revolvers rotate opposite from S&W revolvers I'll post the other, equally stupid story if anyone gives a s---

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Anon makes a profit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/05/21(Tue)22:58:00 No.844090720 >get knock at front door >girl scouts selling candy bars >1 dollar each >buy whole box >sell the candy bars to neighbors for 3 bucks a pop 33 KB JPG >profit
: Anonymous 01/05/21(Tue)22:58:00 No.844090720 >get knock at front door >girl scouts selling candy bars >1 dollar each >buy whole box >sell the candy bars to neighbors for 3 bucks a pop 33 KB JPG >profit

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Anon has a TikTok account | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/13/21(Tue)13:38:29 No.64549160 >mom calls me >tells me a colleague told her about TikTok >she likes it >she wants my profile cause she remembers I had the app to >l actually use it for a secret femboy profile 153 KB PNG How do I get out of this? She would never accept me dressing up like this. And how do I prevent her from finding my videos on accident. This is the first time I had fun and felt comfortable in my body, why is she going to ruin it again.
: Anonymous 07/13/21(Tue)13:38:29 No.64549160 >mom calls me >tells me a colleague told her about TikTok >she likes it >she wants my profile cause she remembers I had the app to >l actually use it for a secret femboy profile 153 KB PNG How do I get out of this? She would never accept me dressing up like this. And how do I prevent her from finding my videos on accident. This is the first time I had fun and felt comfortable in my body, why is she going to ruin it again.

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Anon is a genius | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/12/21(Mon)18:34:32 No.858876289 >be me browsing 4chan >find good post for reddit >read into it and realize its the dude that taught me about 4chan >hes complaining to 4chan about how im getting more karma then him >upload his post 9 KB JPG >get 500 and counting upvotes >mfw im a genius
: Anonymous 07/12/21(Mon)18:34:32 No.858876289 >be me browsing 4chan >find good post for reddit >read into it and realize its the dude that taught me about 4chan >hes complaining to 4chan about how im getting more karma then him >upload his post 9 KB JPG >get 500 and counting upvotes >mfw im a genius

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Anon is suave | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/12/21(Mon)21:17:24 No.64544542 >at mall >standing in the middle of nowhere because dumbass >cute cashier says hi >retardationkicksin.mp4 >say I didn't order anything >she blushes, looks embarrassed and 61 KB JPG leaves Smoothest man alive
: Anonymous 07/12/21(Mon)21:17:24 No.64544542 >at mall >standing in the middle of nowhere because dumbass >cute cashier says hi >retardationkicksin.mp4 >say I didn't order anything >she blushes, looks embarrassed and 61 KB JPG leaves Smoothest man alive

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anon is a chad | /r/Greentext

>be me >13 >social outcast with no social skills who everyone makes fun of >at a school party >everyone's dancing, I just awkwardly stand there >a stacy from my class comes up 42 KB JPG to me >asks me to dance with a smug look on her face >autism kicks in >just stand there and stare at her for a solid 5 seconds >then just turn and walk the other way as fast as I can >next day in class >overhear the girl talking with her friends >hear her say that her plan was to embarass me but got embarrassed herself for being rejected by such a lowlife >mfw my autism inadvertently made me look like a chad >take that stacy
>be me >13 >social outcast with no social skills who everyone makes fun of >at a school party >everyone's dancing, I just awkwardly stand there >a stacy from my class comes up 42 KB JPG to me >asks me to dance with a smug look on her face >autism kicks in >just stand there and stare at her for a solid 5 seconds >then just turn and walk the other way as fast as I can >next day in class >overhear the girl talking with her friends >hear her say that her plan was to embarass me but got embarrassed herself for being rejected by such a lowlife >mfw my autism inadvertently made me look like a chad >take that stacy

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Anon has a friend | /r/Greentext

>be beta f-- with no friends >live alone in s----- apartment >walk outside one day and and 1.83 MB JPG see crow >crow has one partially white wing >feed it bread because it's all I have in apartment >crow keeps coming back for food >one day crow bring me a shiny bit of trash >accept offering from crow >few months pass he comes every day >he brings me s--- most days >one day crow doesnt show up >mfw my only friend has abandoned me >weekend passes >still hasnt come i watch for him constantly >monday morning i go to work >see dead crow on side of street near home >stop and get out >tfw it has a partially white wing >see it has been hit by car >near beak is some weird bracelet >tfw my only friend died trying to get me a gift >tfw I have nothing pic related
>be beta f-- with no friends >live alone in s----- apartment >walk outside one day and and 1.83 MB JPG see crow >crow has one partially white wing >feed it bread because it's all I have in apartment >crow keeps coming back for food >one day crow bring me a shiny bit of trash >accept offering from crow >few months pass he comes every day >he brings me s--- most days >one day crow doesnt show up >mfw my only friend has abandoned me >weekend passes >still hasnt come i watch for him constantly >monday morning i go to work >see dead crow on side of street near home >stop and get out >tfw it has a partially white wing >see it has been hit by car >near beak is some weird bracelet >tfw my only friend died trying to get me a gift >tfw I have nothing pic related

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anon needs a massage | /r/Greentext

File: 1646114A-3DED-435F-98F6-C(...).png (437 KB, 860x834) O Anonymous 07/12/21(Mon)20:55:04 No.858884029 [Reply] >be me >poorfag >have sore back >want to get massage but can't afford it >go on gay sites >find a guy giving free massages >tell him I only want massage nothing more >says okay >go to his place >get massage >asks if he can make me c-- >f--- it free orgasm >get head as well >just imagined it was a girl >he was better than most girls anyway >mfw it was all free
File: 1646114A-3DED-435F-98F6-C(...).png (437 KB, 860x834) O Anonymous 07/12/21(Mon)20:55:04 No.858884029 [Reply] >be me >poorfag >have sore back >want to get massage but can't afford it >go on gay sites >find a guy giving free massages >tell him I only want massage nothing more >says okay >go to his place >get massage >asks if he can make me c-- >f--- it free orgasm >get head as well >just imagined it was a girl >he was better than most girls anyway >mfw it was all free

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Anon's girlfriend won't stop farting | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: qcqw+HFF 07/09/20(Thu)23:57:38 No.267224774 >gf keep farting during sex >i tell her to stop >stop what >stop farting >im not farting >keep f------ her >she keeps farting 167 KB JPG : Anonymous (ID: 7/3bbaxz 07/10/20(Fri)00:00:08 No.267225026 Best thread on 4chan right now >>267225105 #
: Anonymous (ID: qcqw+HFF 07/09/20(Thu)23:57:38 No.267224774 >gf keep farting during sex >i tell her to stop >stop what >stop farting >im not farting >keep f------ her >she keeps farting 167 KB JPG : Anonymous (ID: 7/3bbaxz 07/10/20(Fri)00:00:08 No.267225026 Best thread on 4chan right now >>267225105 #

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Anon has a younger brother | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/15/15(Wed)22:26.34 No.628235434 >>628236559 >be me >having 18th birthday at home >pretty chill time with friends >brother asks if me I want to see his Minecraft world >tell him to go away >see he's hurt >feel guilty and say l'll check it out later >never check it >a few months later, brother gets leukemia >pray he gets better >he doesn't >brother dies >feels like s--- >tum 21 >packing stuff up for college >notice brother's old laptop >for some reason, remembers broken promise >charge up computer >boot up Minecraft >see world named "HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANON!!" >load up world >beginning to tear up at this point >world loads >look around and see cake everywhere >giant pixel cake in front of me >balloons across the sky >turn around and see "HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY" built with blocks >under b-day message is a sign >sign says "happy birthday anon. You're the best brother ever. :DDD" >f------ cry for hours
Anonymous 07/15/15(Wed)22:26.34 No.628235434 >>628236559 >be me >having 18th birthday at home >pretty chill time with friends >brother asks if me I want to see his Minecraft world >tell him to go away >see he's hurt >feel guilty and say l'll check it out later >never check it >a few months later, brother gets leukemia >pray he gets better >he doesn't >brother dies >feels like s--- >tum 21 >packing stuff up for college >notice brother's old laptop >for some reason, remembers broken promise >charge up computer >boot up Minecraft >see world named "HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANON!!" >load up world >beginning to tear up at this point >world loads >look around and see cake everywhere >giant pixel cake in front of me >balloons across the sky >turn around and see "HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY" built with blocks >under b-day message is a sign >sign says "happy birthday anon. You're the best brother ever. :DDD" >f------ cry for hours

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Pax Romana | /r/Greentext

File: 1625073256903.png (1.02 MB, 1239x788) Anonymous E 07/12/21(Mon)07:19:06 >>110943077 >>110944840 >>110945589 >>110945 >>110949762 >>110949794 >>110951813 >It's coming home >It's coming ho... >It's comi.... >lt...
File: 1625073256903.png (1.02 MB, 1239x788) Anonymous E 07/12/21(Mon)07:19:06 >>110943077 >>110944840 >>110945589 >>110945 >>110949762 >>110949794 >>110951813 >It's coming home >It's coming ho... >It's comi.... >lt...

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Anon hates karma | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/03/19(Sat)01:04:52 No.806179622 >Be you >Reddit F-- >Looking for some juicy morsels for r/greentext to raise your karma by 10 like the sniveling dog that you are, waiting for your 4chan overlords to allow you to glimpse at our scraps. 424 KB PNG >Post this one f-----. I'll be watching. 2 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 08/03/19(Sat)01:04:52 No.806179622 >Be you >Reddit F-- >Looking for some juicy morsels for r/greentext to raise your karma by 10 like the sniveling dog that you are, waiting for your 4chan overlords to allow you to glimpse at our scraps. 424 KB PNG >Post this one f-----. I'll be watching. 2 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon has a healthy relationship with his dad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/12/21(Mon)20:59:04 No.64543783 Loving dad stories? >be me, bored in the house >find a video of someone flipping a butterfly knife >"wow thats sick" >buy a cheap $20 balisong 17 KB JPG >after like 6 weeks it breaks >dad knew how much i liked flipping it >buys me a fancy trainer one from a really fancy company Love you dad pic related its the one he bought me
: Anonymous 07/12/21(Mon)20:59:04 No.64543783 Loving dad stories? >be me, bored in the house >find a video of someone flipping a butterfly knife >"wow thats sick" >buy a cheap $20 balisong 17 KB JPG >after like 6 weeks it breaks >dad knew how much i liked flipping it >buys me a fancy trainer one from a really fancy company Love you dad pic related its the one he bought me

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Anon helps the homeless | /r/Greentext


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Anon gets a diagnosis | /r/Greentext

21:23 M * N ll 16%! : Anonymous 07/12/21(Mon)21:22:14 No.858865902 Only maximum retardation allowed. > chilling at 'friends' place > guy has been drinking all night and all day before, it's afternoon, guy is probably 30 hours deep into his alcoholism now 7 KB JPG > screaming at league of legends at the top of his lungs, me chilling on couch sparking a joint > honestly just waiting for the cops to show up and shut him down at this point, neighbour's must be f------ fuming > don't care roll up another joint > retard gets killed and is now probably 0-21 (guy went through 1 account a day during that phase, flame or int bans, pick one) > throws mouse on the table bouncing it into screen and it breaks > can't lol or retard will smash me in his uncontrollable rage > calms down and hits the joint > retard is now no longer screaming but completely quiet, doesn't say a word for 10 minutes 'hey what's wrong retard' > spends about 10 minutes saying 'I have a secret so dark I can't tell anyone' in every possible way he can word that very simple sentence > start legitimately feeling bad for just sitting here laughing at his tard rage, maybe something serious went down > oh s--- maybe he's a tard cause of actual trauma > my guy might be completely destroyed mentally and I'm just here giggling at him egging him on 'Ehm, retard, please, just let me know what's wrong' > spend the next 5 minutes feeling really bad about what he might be hiding 'anon, I have to tell someone, but you have to promise me this never leaves the room' 'I have cancer' > ask him about details, takes f------ forever again > tells me he's not getting treatment cause it's too far gone and there's nothing they can do > ask him how long he's known and when was the last time he saw a doctor about it 'I didn't see a doctor about it I learned about it on google' Guy was 100% serious and let that control major parts of his life. This was probably the most retarded thing he did, but I literally have hours and hours of stories about t f------ moron and | knew him for like 2 yea A
21:23 M * N ll 16%! : Anonymous 07/12/21(Mon)21:22:14 No.858865902 Only maximum retardation allowed. > chilling at 'friends' place > guy has been drinking all night and all day before, it's afternoon, guy is probably 30 hours deep into his alcoholism now 7 KB JPG > screaming at league of legends at the top of his lungs, me chilling on couch sparking a joint > honestly just waiting for the cops to show up and shut him down at this point, neighbour's must be f------ fuming > don't care roll up another joint > retard gets killed and is now probably 0-21 (guy went through 1 account a day during that phase, flame or int bans, pick one) > throws mouse on the table bouncing it into screen and it breaks > can't lol or retard will smash me in his uncontrollable rage > calms down and hits the joint > retard is now no longer screaming but completely quiet, doesn't say a word for 10 minutes 'hey what's wrong retard' > spends about 10 minutes saying 'I have a secret so dark I can't tell anyone' in every possible way he can word that very simple sentence > start legitimately feeling bad for just sitting here laughing at his tard rage, maybe something serious went down > oh s--- maybe he's a tard cause of actual trauma > my guy might be completely destroyed mentally and I'm just here giggling at him egging him on 'Ehm, retard, please, just let me know what's wrong' > spend the next 5 minutes feeling really bad about what he might be hiding 'anon, I have to tell someone, but you have to promise me this never leaves the room' 'I have cancer' > ask him about details, takes f------ forever again > tells me he's not getting treatment cause it's too far gone and there's nothing they can do > ask him how long he's known and when was the last time he saw a doctor about it 'I didn't see a doctor about it I learned about it on google' Guy was 100% serious and let that control major parts of his life. This was probably the most retarded thing he did, but I literally have hours and hours of stories about t f------ moron and | knew him for like 2 yea A

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Anon cooms | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/12/21(Mon)02:28:34 No.858837783 >see advert for p--- game >YOU WON'T LAST FIVE MINUTES PLAYING THIS GAME >download the game >c-- in six minutes >mfw I beat the advertisement and my 26 KB JPG meat
: Anonymous 07/12/21(Mon)02:28:34 No.858837783 >see advert for p--- game >YOU WON'T LAST FIVE MINUTES PLAYING THIS GAME >download the game >c-- in six minutes >mfw I beat the advertisement and my 26 KB JPG meat

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Anon is in dog mode | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/25/21(Tue)04:28:45 No.63829063 >hear car door shut outside in any direction >get up and look out window every single time who else here dog-mode? how the f--- do i stop this nightmare 114 KB PNG
: Anonymous 05/25/21(Tue)04:28:45 No.63829063 >hear car door shut outside in any direction >get up and look out window every single time who else here dog-mode? how the f--- do i stop this nightmare 114 KB PNG

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Anon is in forever debt to the mystery man | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/27/21(Wed) 17:15:19 No.845914110 >taking massive s--- >coming out sideways >hurts like hell >feel and hear anus tearing >losing lots of blood >pass out from blood loss >wake up around 15 minutes later 52 KB PNG >go to wipe >cleanwipe.doc >no blood, no s--- >feel around a------ >someone sewn up my gaping wound and cleaned it >blood and s--- still in toilet Thank you mystery a------ mender, i am forever in your debt
: Anonymous 01/27/21(Wed) 17:15:19 No.845914110 >taking massive s--- >coming out sideways >hurts like hell >feel and hear anus tearing >losing lots of blood >pass out from blood loss >wake up around 15 minutes later 52 KB PNG >go to wipe >cleanwipe.doc >no blood, no s--- >feel around a------ >someone sewn up my gaping wound and cleaned it >blood and s--- still in toilet Thank you mystery a------ mender, i am forever in your debt

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Anon is having trouble logging in | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/20/21(Sun)19:03:53 No.857299321 How to login in 2021 >*enter password for website* >"Security code sent to email" >*login to email* >"Security code sent to backup email" >*login to backup email* >"Security code sent to phone" REEEEEE 241 KB PNG >*pickup phone and open text >*input code into backup email* >:Please input new password" >"Must be 9-11 characters" >"Must contain at least 1 lower case" >"Must contain at least 1 capital letter" >"Must contain at least 1 number" >"Must contain at least 1 symbol" >"Cannot contain any letter, number, or symbols previously used" >*make new password* >"Logging in" >*get code* >*login to email* >*get code for website* >*login to original website* >"Unusual account activity, account locked for 24 hours"
: Anonymous 06/20/21(Sun)19:03:53 No.857299321 How to login in 2021 >*enter password for website* >"Security code sent to email" >*login to email* >"Security code sent to backup email" >*login to backup email* >"Security code sent to phone" REEEEEE 241 KB PNG >*pickup phone and open text >*input code into backup email* >:Please input new password" >"Must be 9-11 characters" >"Must contain at least 1 lower case" >"Must contain at least 1 capital letter" >"Must contain at least 1 number" >"Must contain at least 1 symbol" >"Cannot contain any letter, number, or symbols previously used" >*make new password* >"Logging in" >*get code* >*login to email* >*get code for website* >*login to original website* >"Unusual account activity, account locked for 24 hours"

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