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Anon can’t slap bass | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/10/21(Sat)22:52:45 No.858763972 >be me >work my ass off and saved some money to buy a new instrument >go on reverb >search Pbass >everything is above a thousand dollars 615 KB GIF >can't afford anything >all I wanted was a new bass
: Anonymous 07/10/21(Sat)22:52:45 No.858763972 >be me >work my ass off and saved some money to buy a new instrument >go on reverb >search Pbass >everything is above a thousand dollars 615 KB GIF >can't afford anything >all I wanted was a new bass

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Anon pulls a prank tjhe | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous03/09/19(Sat)18:02:25 No.794558144 >tell f----- brother he just got pranked >"how?" >tell him to look in his room >he spends 10 minutes looking for the prank >there was no prank 23 KB JPG >mfw that was the prank
: Anonymous03/09/19(Sat)18:02:25 No.794558144 >tell f----- brother he just got pranked >"how?" >tell him to look in his room >he spends 10 minutes looking for the prank >there was no prank 23 KB JPG >mfw that was the prank

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What do you tell her? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/11/21(Sun)03:33:40 No.64519071 >Anon I'm that girl you never had the balls to talk to or deemed I wasn't enough for you at the time >We could have had a happy family together >You didn't even hear me out >l gave so many signs... (so many times) 31 KB JPG 31 Replies / 11 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 07/11/21(Sun)03:33:40 No.64519071 >Anon I'm that girl you never had the balls to talk to or deemed I wasn't enough for you at the time >We could have had a happy family together >You didn't even hear me out >l gave so many signs... (so many times) 31 KB JPG 31 Replies / 11 Images View Thread

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Anon is a great wingman | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/11/21(Sun)01:52:56 No.64518001 >Have a huge crush on this girl >tell her >she just wants to be friends >simp hard buy her s--- pay for dates >she doesn't date people that aren't white (we're both black) 231 KB JPG >never stood a chance >tell her l'll always feel this way but l'll stay friends. >tell her I just want her to be happy >other friend just went through a break up >he is my best friend I would die for him >he's exactly her type as a lanky white stoner >ask if he'd like to meet her and vice versa >they agree >mfw I'm literally cucking myself It f------ hurts guys... IT F------ HURTS AND I CAN'T DO ANYTHING F--- 2 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 07/11/21(Sun)01:52:56 No.64518001 >Have a huge crush on this girl >tell her >she just wants to be friends >simp hard buy her s--- pay for dates >she doesn't date people that aren't white (we're both black) 231 KB JPG >never stood a chance >tell her l'll always feel this way but l'll stay friends. >tell her I just want her to be happy >other friend just went through a break up >he is my best friend I would die for him >he's exactly her type as a lanky white stoner >ask if he'd like to meet her and vice versa >they agree >mfw I'm literally cucking myself It f------ hurts guys... IT F------ HURTS AND I CAN'T DO ANYTHING F--- 2 Replies View Thread

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the__title | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/11/21(Sun)00:08:45 No.858746899 File: ec8.jpg (170 KB, 1242x1579) >>858746422 everyone posting greentexts here will eventually end up on plebbit. for example: >be me >see shroomjak >day ruined
Anonymous 07/11/21(Sun)00:08:45 No.858746899 File: ec8.jpg (170 KB, 1242x1579) >>858746422 everyone posting greentexts here will eventually end up on plebbit. for example: >be me >see shroomjak >day ruined

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Anon blames his parents for being a loser | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/11/21(Sun)07:31:32 No.858766016 >be 11 >ask mom to buy me playstation 3 so i can play FIFA with friends from school >she ends up buying me a computer because it would also help me with school >friends play FIIFA everyday while im stuck 94 KB PNG with my computer >start playing League of Legends >find out 2 other guys at school also play LoL, start to hang out with them and distance myself from the other group of friends FFW 9 years >20 years old, still playing LOL with the same 2 friends >none of us talk to any girls or go to parties >that same group of friends that played FIFA posting on their snapchat a party full of semi-naked drunk girls >mfw i hear that the girl i was into my whole life was there and even ended up f------ a guy at the bathroom F--- my life. why does a small decision made by my mom 9 years f---- my life today so much
: Anonymous 07/11/21(Sun)07:31:32 No.858766016 >be 11 >ask mom to buy me playstation 3 so i can play FIFA with friends from school >she ends up buying me a computer because it would also help me with school >friends play FIIFA everyday while im stuck 94 KB PNG with my computer >start playing League of Legends >find out 2 other guys at school also play LoL, start to hang out with them and distance myself from the other group of friends FFW 9 years >20 years old, still playing LOL with the same 2 friends >none of us talk to any girls or go to parties >that same group of friends that played FIFA posting on their snapchat a party full of semi-naked drunk girls >mfw i hear that the girl i was into my whole life was there and even ended up f------ a guy at the bathroom F--- my life. why does a small decision made by my mom 9 years f---- my life today so much

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Anon eats pizza | /r/Greentext

File: 1439785084340.png (50 KB, 669x545) O Anonymous 07/10/21(Sat)13:48:20 No.858735074 >be me, a kid >come home from school >mom works an evening shift at gas station >she leaves pizza for me >have two games for my SNES >TMNT Tournament Fighters and The Addams Family >put pizza in oven and use watch to watch time >play games while cooking, get distracted often >have burnt pizza most night but eat anyway >usually asleep by the time Mom gets home >we'd chat for a little if I was still up playing games >one night on the way home she was hit by a drunk driver and died >in my 20's now >ocassionally ill play TMNT and Addams Family on SNES on a fat old CRT TV and eat burned pizza >eating burned pizza comforts me regardless of the taste >pretend mom is still out there working at the gas station >go to bed early so the illusion isn't broken
File: 1439785084340.png (50 KB, 669x545) O Anonymous 07/10/21(Sat)13:48:20 No.858735074 >be me, a kid >come home from school >mom works an evening shift at gas station >she leaves pizza for me >have two games for my SNES >TMNT Tournament Fighters and The Addams Family >put pizza in oven and use watch to watch time >play games while cooking, get distracted often >have burnt pizza most night but eat anyway >usually asleep by the time Mom gets home >we'd chat for a little if I was still up playing games >one night on the way home she was hit by a drunk driver and died >in my 20's now >ocassionally ill play TMNT and Addams Family on SNES on a fat old CRT TV and eat burned pizza >eating burned pizza comforts me regardless of the taste >pretend mom is still out there working at the gas station >go to bed early so the illusion isn't broken

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Anon gets owned | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/10/21(Sat)21:53:56 No.858760862 >be me >depressed and suicidal >think "i should kill myself" >"f--- it, might as well tell someone" >go to omegle >agree to the terms of disservice 23 KB JPG >skip past all the horny Ms and sex bots >connect with a human >tell him i want to kill myself >he says he considers suicide as well >asks me what caused me to be suicidal >start telling him why i hate my life to such extremes >bitch cuts me off mid typing by disconnecting >i was suicidal but now im also angry >mfw 3 Replies View Thread | Anonymous 07/10/21(Sat)21:55:44 No.858760963 >>858760862 (OP) # owned
: Anonymous 07/10/21(Sat)21:53:56 No.858760862 >be me >depressed and suicidal >think "i should kill myself" >"f--- it, might as well tell someone" >go to omegle >agree to the terms of disservice 23 KB JPG >skip past all the horny Ms and sex bots >connect with a human >tell him i want to kill myself >he says he considers suicide as well >asks me what caused me to be suicidal >start telling him why i hate my life to such extremes >bitch cuts me off mid typing by disconnecting >i was suicidal but now im also angry >mfw 3 Replies View Thread | Anonymous 07/10/21(Sat)21:55:44 No.858760963 >>858760862 (OP) # owned

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Anon wants to do anal | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/10/21(Sat)15:49:25 No.64515521 >you refuse to do a--- with me, practice fembot gf >but you let Chad do it in your previous relationship >my c--- hungers fembot, it hungers >not for your birthing hole but something tighter >lt wants to experience the joy that led a man to kill 32 KB JPG his wife and daughters >lt wants something more valuable than food and water >It wakes up at night, having cold sweats thinking of your tight north hole >my c--- is as starved as an African in a drought >I want one thing and you won't give to to me >you're only a practice gf, why are you so stingy with the a------? >now then, your ass will be stitched shut while a mechanic dildo and vibarator satisifies your w---- hole, you will also be fed continually crab legs until your bowels rip you apart Let the games begin
: Anonymous 07/10/21(Sat)15:49:25 No.64515521 >you refuse to do a--- with me, practice fembot gf >but you let Chad do it in your previous relationship >my c--- hungers fembot, it hungers >not for your birthing hole but something tighter >lt wants to experience the joy that led a man to kill 32 KB JPG his wife and daughters >lt wants something more valuable than food and water >It wakes up at night, having cold sweats thinking of your tight north hole >my c--- is as starved as an African in a drought >I want one thing and you won't give to to me >you're only a practice gf, why are you so stingy with the a------? >now then, your ass will be stitched shut while a mechanic dildo and vibarator satisifies your w---- hole, you will also be fed continually crab legs until your bowels rip you apart Let the games begin

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Anon wastes everyone's time | /r/Greentext

File: 594-5948647_pepe-tired-co(...).png (426 KB, 860x596) O Anonymous 07/11/21(Sun)02:21:37 No.64518960 >read somewhere that you die if you dont sleep for 7 days >stay up for 7 days >still alive >go to bed what a waste of time [Return] [Catalog] [Top] [Update] [ OAuto]
File: 594-5948647_pepe-tired-co(...).png (426 KB, 860x596) O Anonymous 07/11/21(Sun)02:21:37 No.64518960 >read somewhere that you die if you dont sleep for 7 days >stay up for 7 days >still alive >go to bed what a waste of time [Return] [Catalog] [Top] [Update] [ OAuto]

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Anon finds a woman of culture? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/10/21(Sat)20:19:08 No.24557128 Car salesman: *slaps roof of >girl invites me to her house >went to high school with her, haven't seen or talked to her much car* Car: harder daddy Car salesman: what Car: what since >go to her house because why not >she does graphic design >she's impressed that I run a tech 16 KB JPG startup >she leaves to go to the bathroom >notice the desktop on her computer seems to have a lewd picture, though it's covered by other apps >artists, amirite? >peek, minimize the programs to see what it is >it's lesbian p--- with her face and mine shopped in >quick maximize the apps before she comes back >made up an excuse about getting a text about a family emergency, left Umm.. what should I think about this? View Thread
: Anonymous 07/10/21(Sat)20:19:08 No.24557128 Car salesman: *slaps roof of >girl invites me to her house >went to high school with her, haven't seen or talked to her much car* Car: harder daddy Car salesman: what Car: what since >go to her house because why not >she does graphic design >she's impressed that I run a tech 16 KB JPG startup >she leaves to go to the bathroom >notice the desktop on her computer seems to have a lewd picture, though it's covered by other apps >artists, amirite? >peek, minimize the programs to see what it is >it's lesbian p--- with her face and mine shopped in >quick maximize the apps before she comes back >made up an excuse about getting a text about a family emergency, left Umm.. what should I think about this? View Thread

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Anon drives a car | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/10/21(Sat)20:55:54 No.858754843 When the grocery store doesn't have the >be me Crunchie bar >drop mom off at airport >start feeling the need to s--- >I can make it back home I think to myself >5 min later I feel the hypothetical 909 KB JPG volcano about to blow >oh s--- oh f--- >hard turn into a McDonald's almost crashes into a minivan >parks and runs inside >bolt to bathroom >intensescream.mp3 >casually walk out >uh yea l'll have a medium coffee and small fry >get back in car and drive home
: Anonymous 07/10/21(Sat)20:55:54 No.858754843 When the grocery store doesn't have the >be me Crunchie bar >drop mom off at airport >start feeling the need to s--- >I can make it back home I think to myself >5 min later I feel the hypothetical 909 KB JPG volcano about to blow >oh s--- oh f--- >hard turn into a McDonald's almost crashes into a minivan >parks and runs inside >bolt to bathroom >intensescream.mp3 >casually walk out >uh yea l'll have a medium coffee and small fry >get back in car and drive home

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Anon is famous | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/10/21(Sat)23:56:54 No.64516857 >9 people liked my youtube comment 70 KB JPG 20 Replies / 10 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 07/10/21(Sat)23:56:54 No.64516857 >9 people liked my youtube comment 70 KB JPG 20 Replies / 10 Images View Thread

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Anon hates his fellow autist | /r/Greentext

File: mmmmmmmmmi hmmmmm.jpg (8 KB, 241x209) Anonymous 07/10/21(Sat)15:55:41 No.16406088 [Reply] >>16406095 >MМMМMMMMмммMMMMMMMммMMMMMMMмммMMMM MMMMMMMMMммMMMMMMмммMMMMMMMммMMMMM MMMMMMMMMМMMMMMMMMММ >OH WAUUUUU!!! >> Anonymous 07/10/21(Sat)15:59:09 No.16406095 >>16406088 (OP) shove your head in a f------ deep fryer
File: mmmmmmmmmi hmmmmm.jpg (8 KB, 241x209) Anonymous 07/10/21(Sat)15:55:41 No.16406088 [Reply] >>16406095 >MМMМMMMMмммMMMMMMMммMMMMMMMмммMMMM MMMMMMMMMммMMMMMMмммMMMMMMMммMMMMM MMMMMMMMMМMMMMMMMMММ >OH WAUUUUU!!! >> Anonymous 07/10/21(Sat)15:59:09 No.16406095 >>16406088 (OP) shove your head in a f------ deep fryer

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Two shitta | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/08/21(Thu)20:53:47 No.29169669 >Driving with friend (let's call him Joe) down the high way >Car breaks down so he turns the blinkers on >See something bright off the corner of my eye to my left 68 KB JPG >See a McDonalds with a ginormous Ronald clasping his hands like the Buddha >Suddenly remember the words of the Buddha, "The Buddha is in me." >Feel sudden intense euphoria, eyes rolling back a little >Let out quiet moans of relief knowing that Burger Buddha is in me >Rip a loud one that was more like three since there two pauses >plapla plapla plaplaplapla >Friend looks at my euphoric face and begins to shed tears >Car turns on and we go on our way
: Anonymous 07/08/21(Thu)20:53:47 No.29169669 >Driving with friend (let's call him Joe) down the high way >Car breaks down so he turns the blinkers on >See something bright off the corner of my eye to my left 68 KB JPG >See a McDonalds with a ginormous Ronald clasping his hands like the Buddha >Suddenly remember the words of the Buddha, "The Buddha is in me." >Feel sudden intense euphoria, eyes rolling back a little >Let out quiet moans of relief knowing that Burger Buddha is in me >Rip a loud one that was more like three since there two pauses >plapla plapla plaplaplapla >Friend looks at my euphoric face and begins to shed tears >Car turns on and we go on our way

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Anon has typos | /r/Greentext

>"you don't need dysphoria to be trans!" >"Gender is a social construct! You can choose what you want to be!" >"I shouldn't have to put any effort into passing to be considered my preferred gender!" 12 KB JPG The absolute state of the trans community right now If I knew this is how it's turn out, I'd have saved myself to trouble of transitioning and capped myself at 21
>"you don't need dysphoria to be trans!" >"Gender is a social construct! You can choose what you want to be!" >"I shouldn't have to put any effort into passing to be considered my preferred gender!" 12 KB JPG The absolute state of the trans community right now If I knew this is how it's turn out, I'd have saved myself to trouble of transitioning and capped myself at 21

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Anon watches Men In Black | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)18:31:02 No.153027669 >BRO LMAO WHAT IF HE WANT BIG GUN BUT HE GET LITTLE GUN INSTEAD? >LMAO YEAH AND THEN HE SHOOT IT AND IT BLAST HIM BACK BECAUSE LITTLE GUN 41 KB JPG ACTUALLY POWERFUL This made boomers s--- their pants with laughter : Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)18:33:47 No.153027744 >Not understanding the continued theme of the movie that things aren't what they seem to be at first You got filtered by the most basic of basic 90s films, you f-----. >>153027864 # >>153034407 # >>153034427 # >>153036570 # >>153037749 # >>153038111 # >>153041040 # >>153041415 # >>153041551 # >>153042327 # >>153042822 # >>153049180 # >>153053380 # >>153054817 # >>153057091 # >>153060125 # >>153060386 #
: Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)18:31:02 No.153027669 >BRO LMAO WHAT IF HE WANT BIG GUN BUT HE GET LITTLE GUN INSTEAD? >LMAO YEAH AND THEN HE SHOOT IT AND IT BLAST HIM BACK BECAUSE LITTLE GUN 41 KB JPG ACTUALLY POWERFUL This made boomers s--- their pants with laughter : Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)18:33:47 No.153027744 >Not understanding the continued theme of the movie that things aren't what they seem to be at first You got filtered by the most basic of basic 90s films, you f-----. >>153027864 # >>153034407 # >>153034427 # >>153036570 # >>153037749 # >>153038111 # >>153041040 # >>153041415 # >>153041551 # >>153042327 # >>153042822 # >>153049180 # >>153053380 # >>153054817 # >>153057091 # >>153060125 # >>153060386 #

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anon begs for mercy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/11/21(Sun)01:02:19 No.858746607 anons, am i a disgusting c-- dumpster retarded f--? >be me, 2 mins ago >helping my crippling p--- addiction get even worse >in the vid a bunch of guys were c------ in a girl's mouth 176 KB JPG >wonder how j--- tastes >idea.f-- >get on floor, put legs over and behind head >start jerking my c--- >c-- really fast, as usual >i was aiming for my mouth but instead hit my left eye >rest of c-- splattered over face and mouth >eye starts burning >get up and look in mirror >mouthful of c--, along with some on nose >eye is red >contemplate suicide lord have mercy
: Anonymous 07/11/21(Sun)01:02:19 No.858746607 anons, am i a disgusting c-- dumpster retarded f--? >be me, 2 mins ago >helping my crippling p--- addiction get even worse >in the vid a bunch of guys were c------ in a girl's mouth 176 KB JPG >wonder how j--- tastes >idea.f-- >get on floor, put legs over and behind head >start jerking my c--- >c-- really fast, as usual >i was aiming for my mouth but instead hit my left eye >rest of c-- splattered over face and mouth >eye starts burning >get up and look in mirror >mouthful of c--, along with some on nose >eye is red >contemplate suicide lord have mercy

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anon thinks about the afterlife | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/10/21(Sat)00:18:15 No.858711784 >lets assume the afterlife is real >okay, then what *could* the afterlife look like? >think of the infinite possibilities like colored static >given enough time these ever changing pixels will align themselves into a perfect 94 KB JPG recreation of the mona lisa >However, if you take a snapshot of these pixels at any given moment, there is an overwhelming likelihood that you will only see randomness >if there is an "afterlife" then its most likely something random and incoherent like this static instead of something structured and meaningful
: Anonymous 07/10/21(Sat)00:18:15 No.858711784 >lets assume the afterlife is real >okay, then what *could* the afterlife look like? >think of the infinite possibilities like colored static >given enough time these ever changing pixels will align themselves into a perfect 94 KB JPG recreation of the mona lisa >However, if you take a snapshot of these pixels at any given moment, there is an overwhelming likelihood that you will only see randomness >if there is an "afterlife" then its most likely something random and incoherent like this static instead of something structured and meaningful

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Anon enjoys himself | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 07/09/21(Fri)23:27:51 No.64507812 [Reply] >another friday night not having sex or talking to women
O Anonymous 07/09/21(Fri)23:27:51 No.64507812 [Reply] >another friday night not having sex or talking to women

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