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Anon hates his fellow autist | /r/Greentext

File: mmmmmmmmmi hmmmmm.jpg (8 KB, 241x209) Anonymous 07/10/21(Sat)15:55:41 No.16406088 [Reply] >>16406095 >MМMМMMMMмммMMMMMMMммMMMMMMMмммMMMM MMMMMMMMMммMMMMMMмммMMMMMMMммMMMMM MMMMMMMMMМMMMMMMMMММ >OH WAUUUUU!!! >> Anonymous 07/10/21(Sat)15:59:09 No.16406095 >>16406088 (OP) shove your head in a f------ deep fryer
File: mmmmmmmmmi hmmmmm.jpg (8 KB, 241x209) Anonymous 07/10/21(Sat)15:55:41 No.16406088 [Reply] >>16406095 >MМMМMMMMмммMMMMMMMммMMMMMMMмммMMMM MMMMMMMMMммMMMMMMмммMMMMMMMммMMMMM MMMMMMMMMМMMMMMMMMММ >OH WAUUUUU!!! >> Anonymous 07/10/21(Sat)15:59:09 No.16406095 >>16406088 (OP) shove your head in a f------ deep fryer

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Two shitta | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/08/21(Thu)20:53:47 No.29169669 >Driving with friend (let's call him Joe) down the high way >Car breaks down so he turns the blinkers on >See something bright off the corner of my eye to my left 68 KB JPG >See a McDonalds with a ginormous Ronald clasping his hands like the Buddha >Suddenly remember the words of the Buddha, "The Buddha is in me." >Feel sudden intense euphoria, eyes rolling back a little >Let out quiet moans of relief knowing that Burger Buddha is in me >Rip a loud one that was more like three since there two pauses >plapla plapla plaplaplapla >Friend looks at my euphoric face and begins to shed tears >Car turns on and we go on our way
: Anonymous 07/08/21(Thu)20:53:47 No.29169669 >Driving with friend (let's call him Joe) down the high way >Car breaks down so he turns the blinkers on >See something bright off the corner of my eye to my left 68 KB JPG >See a McDonalds with a ginormous Ronald clasping his hands like the Buddha >Suddenly remember the words of the Buddha, "The Buddha is in me." >Feel sudden intense euphoria, eyes rolling back a little >Let out quiet moans of relief knowing that Burger Buddha is in me >Rip a loud one that was more like three since there two pauses >plapla plapla plaplaplapla >Friend looks at my euphoric face and begins to shed tears >Car turns on and we go on our way

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Anon has typos | /r/Greentext

>"you don't need dysphoria to be trans!" >"Gender is a social construct! You can choose what you want to be!" >"I shouldn't have to put any effort into passing to be considered my preferred gender!" 12 KB JPG The absolute state of the trans community right now If I knew this is how it's turn out, I'd have saved myself to trouble of transitioning and capped myself at 21
>"you don't need dysphoria to be trans!" >"Gender is a social construct! You can choose what you want to be!" >"I shouldn't have to put any effort into passing to be considered my preferred gender!" 12 KB JPG The absolute state of the trans community right now If I knew this is how it's turn out, I'd have saved myself to trouble of transitioning and capped myself at 21

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Anon watches Men In Black | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)18:31:02 No.153027669 >BRO LMAO WHAT IF HE WANT BIG GUN BUT HE GET LITTLE GUN INSTEAD? >LMAO YEAH AND THEN HE SHOOT IT AND IT BLAST HIM BACK BECAUSE LITTLE GUN 41 KB JPG ACTUALLY POWERFUL This made boomers s--- their pants with laughter : Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)18:33:47 No.153027744 >Not understanding the continued theme of the movie that things aren't what they seem to be at first You got filtered by the most basic of basic 90s films, you f-----. >>153027864 # >>153034407 # >>153034427 # >>153036570 # >>153037749 # >>153038111 # >>153041040 # >>153041415 # >>153041551 # >>153042327 # >>153042822 # >>153049180 # >>153053380 # >>153054817 # >>153057091 # >>153060125 # >>153060386 #
: Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)18:31:02 No.153027669 >BRO LMAO WHAT IF HE WANT BIG GUN BUT HE GET LITTLE GUN INSTEAD? >LMAO YEAH AND THEN HE SHOOT IT AND IT BLAST HIM BACK BECAUSE LITTLE GUN 41 KB JPG ACTUALLY POWERFUL This made boomers s--- their pants with laughter : Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)18:33:47 No.153027744 >Not understanding the continued theme of the movie that things aren't what they seem to be at first You got filtered by the most basic of basic 90s films, you f-----. >>153027864 # >>153034407 # >>153034427 # >>153036570 # >>153037749 # >>153038111 # >>153041040 # >>153041415 # >>153041551 # >>153042327 # >>153042822 # >>153049180 # >>153053380 # >>153054817 # >>153057091 # >>153060125 # >>153060386 #

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anon begs for mercy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/11/21(Sun)01:02:19 No.858746607 anons, am i a disgusting c-- dumpster retarded f--? >be me, 2 mins ago >helping my crippling p--- addiction get even worse >in the vid a bunch of guys were c------ in a girl's mouth 176 KB JPG >wonder how j--- tastes >idea.f-- >get on floor, put legs over and behind head >start jerking my c--- >c-- really fast, as usual >i was aiming for my mouth but instead hit my left eye >rest of c-- splattered over face and mouth >eye starts burning >get up and look in mirror >mouthful of c--, along with some on nose >eye is red >contemplate suicide lord have mercy
: Anonymous 07/11/21(Sun)01:02:19 No.858746607 anons, am i a disgusting c-- dumpster retarded f--? >be me, 2 mins ago >helping my crippling p--- addiction get even worse >in the vid a bunch of guys were c------ in a girl's mouth 176 KB JPG >wonder how j--- tastes >idea.f-- >get on floor, put legs over and behind head >start jerking my c--- >c-- really fast, as usual >i was aiming for my mouth but instead hit my left eye >rest of c-- splattered over face and mouth >eye starts burning >get up and look in mirror >mouthful of c--, along with some on nose >eye is red >contemplate suicide lord have mercy

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anon thinks about the afterlife | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/10/21(Sat)00:18:15 No.858711784 >lets assume the afterlife is real >okay, then what *could* the afterlife look like? >think of the infinite possibilities like colored static >given enough time these ever changing pixels will align themselves into a perfect 94 KB JPG recreation of the mona lisa >However, if you take a snapshot of these pixels at any given moment, there is an overwhelming likelihood that you will only see randomness >if there is an "afterlife" then its most likely something random and incoherent like this static instead of something structured and meaningful
: Anonymous 07/10/21(Sat)00:18:15 No.858711784 >lets assume the afterlife is real >okay, then what *could* the afterlife look like? >think of the infinite possibilities like colored static >given enough time these ever changing pixels will align themselves into a perfect 94 KB JPG recreation of the mona lisa >However, if you take a snapshot of these pixels at any given moment, there is an overwhelming likelihood that you will only see randomness >if there is an "afterlife" then its most likely something random and incoherent like this static instead of something structured and meaningful

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Anon enjoys himself | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 07/09/21(Fri)23:27:51 No.64507812 [Reply] >another friday night not having sex or talking to women
O Anonymous 07/09/21(Fri)23:27:51 No.64507812 [Reply] >another friday night not having sex or talking to women

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Anon is a sniper | /r/Greentext

File: image-20150219-28184-1rxsqvq.jpg (99 KB, 1200x1200) O Anonymous 07/10/21(Sat)22:17:15 No.858741851 >decide to j------- >go to bathroom >see spider >turn around >spider gone >start jacking off >just about to finish when i see the spider >no scope from 2ft away with my d--- >spider drowns in nut this is my hood n----
File: image-20150219-28184-1rxsqvq.jpg (99 KB, 1200x1200) O Anonymous 07/10/21(Sat)22:17:15 No.858741851 >decide to j------- >go to bathroom >see spider >turn around >spider gone >start jacking off >just about to finish when i see the spider >no scope from 2ft away with my d--- >spider drowns in nut this is my hood n----

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Anon goes outside | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/10/21(Sat)14:52:40 No.858737971 >be me >edge more than 200 times >penis is blue >bed full of c-- >go to the toilet >e-------- 2 gallon of pee >dress 229 KB PNG >go outside >take bus >fill the bus with my baby horse sex scent >arrive downtown >call a taxi because idgaf about my business downtown anymore >arrive home >watch blowjow p--- Random summer day of my life in my small town. 2 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 07/10/21(Sat)14:55:28 No.858738079 is your penis okay bro?
: Anonymous 07/10/21(Sat)14:52:40 No.858737971 >be me >edge more than 200 times >penis is blue >bed full of c-- >go to the toilet >e-------- 2 gallon of pee >dress 229 KB PNG >go outside >take bus >fill the bus with my baby horse sex scent >arrive downtown >call a taxi because idgaf about my business downtown anymore >arrive home >watch blowjow p--- Random summer day of my life in my small town. 2 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 07/10/21(Sat)14:55:28 No.858738079 is your penis okay bro?

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Anon had enough | /r/Greentext

>You failed the Captcha >You failed the Captcha >You failed the Captcha >You forgot to put the image >You filed the Captcha 33 KB JPG
>You failed the Captcha >You failed the Captcha >You failed the Captcha >You forgot to put the image >You filed the Captcha 33 KB JPG

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Anon ponders a dilemma | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/10/21(Sat)21:47:40 No.64512091 Anonymous 03/02/12(Fri)17:39 No. 1921453 If only you knew how bad things really are. bill.png 231 KB PNG >>64511239 (OP) # >have no idea if I'm attractive or ugly >nobody has ever said anything to me about my looks >too scared to post my face online for opinions >>64512111 # >>64512163 #
: Anonymous 07/10/21(Sat)21:47:40 No.64512091 Anonymous 03/02/12(Fri)17:39 No. 1921453 If only you knew how bad things really are. bill.png 231 KB PNG >>64511239 (OP) # >have no idea if I'm attractive or ugly >nobody has ever said anything to me about my looks >too scared to post my face online for opinions >>64512111 # >>64512163 #

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Anon is depressed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/10/21(Sat)09:37:29 No.858732030 972-9722824_pepe-rare-car-sad-general-motors.jpg 112 KB JPG >be in traffic >stuck in stop and go traffic for upwards of 40 mins >turn music on and decide to enjoy it Is this all my life has come to?
: Anonymous 07/10/21(Sat)09:37:29 No.858732030 972-9722824_pepe-rare-car-sad-general-motors.jpg 112 KB JPG >be in traffic >stuck in stop and go traffic for upwards of 40 mins >turn music on and decide to enjoy it Is this all my life has come to?

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Anon finds a gf | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/10/21(Sat)03:01:19 No.64510632 >be me >no gf >go outside >find a squid gf instead We're all gonna make it bros! 513 KB JPG
: Anonymous 07/10/21(Sat)03:01:19 No.64510632 >be me >no gf >go outside >find a squid gf instead We're all gonna make it bros! 513 KB JPG

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Airplanes are a myth | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/05/21(Mon)07:17:47 No.29131 >yeah bro you just take the flying tube to the other side of the world! it's that simple! does anyone actually believe in this s---? 212 KB JPG
Anonymous 07/05/21(Mon)07:17:47 No.29131 >yeah bro you just take the flying tube to the other side of the world! it's that simple! does anyone actually believe in this s---? 212 KB JPG

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Anon gets cat | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/10/21(Sat)12:33:15 No.858731829 pet stories >be me >4 >get new cat >cat small 95 KB PNG >plays >happy >15 years later >cat old >still tries to get on my shoulder >kidneys >cat die >sad >lonely >idea >new cat >get new cat >looks just like old cat did >happy again thank you cat pic related View Thread
: Anonymous 07/10/21(Sat)12:33:15 No.858731829 pet stories >be me >4 >get new cat >cat small 95 KB PNG >plays >happy >15 years later >cat old >still tries to get on my shoulder >kidneys >cat die >sad >lonely >idea >new cat >get new cat >looks just like old cat did >happy again thank you cat pic related View Thread

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anon likes the silly voice | /r/Greentext

File: 16166819.jpg (1.48 MB, 1746x2439) O Anonymous 07/10/21(Sat)21:03:09 No.64511020 >>64511033 >in economics class >teacher starts playing an episode of john oliver's talk show >spend the first half of it trying to hold in my laugher because it is so s--- >john oliver does a silly voice >this is my breaking point >burst into laughter because i cannot hold it in anymore >eyes start watering >tears roll down my cheek >the entire class is silent and looking at me >continue to laugh for the next few minutes without being able to stop because i keep on thinking of the silly voice
File: 16166819.jpg (1.48 MB, 1746x2439) O Anonymous 07/10/21(Sat)21:03:09 No.64511020 >>64511033 >in economics class >teacher starts playing an episode of john oliver's talk show >spend the first half of it trying to hold in my laugher because it is so s--- >john oliver does a silly voice >this is my breaking point >burst into laughter because i cannot hold it in anymore >eyes start watering >tears roll down my cheek >the entire class is silent and looking at me >continue to laugh for the next few minutes without being able to stop because i keep on thinking of the silly voice

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Anon hates the british | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/10/21(Sat)10:46:45 No.858729928 >be me >making fun of british people is funny >working register at fast food place >british couple walks in, I take their 2 order >strong British accent >trying really hard not to laugh 34 KB JPG >one of them says "water" >burst out laughing, both at the accent and my own autism >can't stop >coworker has to finish taking their order >manager p----- at me >still laughing F--- British people
: Anonymous 07/10/21(Sat)10:46:45 No.858729928 >be me >making fun of british people is funny >working register at fast food place >british couple walks in, I take their 2 order >strong British accent >trying really hard not to laugh 34 KB JPG >one of them says "water" >burst out laughing, both at the accent and my own autism >can't stop >coworker has to finish taking their order >manager p----- at me >still laughing F--- British people

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Father of the bride | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/17/21(Thu)00:36:53 No.62107208 >>62106370 (OP) # >rent small boat with my friends >sailing around the harbor >having lots of fun, start waving at people on other boats 932 KB GIF >wave to a small boat with about 10 Asian girls on it >one girl yells "DADDY!" at me >some of the other girls on the boat start yelling "DADDY!" at me >me and my friends laugh I had so much fun last weekend >>62110505 # : Anonymous 06/17/21(Thu)00:39:27 No.62107237 >running around the house without a shirt yesterday >feel a little bit pudgy from my 3300 kcal bulk >send my crush a shirtless mirror 67 KB JPG snapchat, asking if i should cut a bit >she replies that i am f------ sexy and that i should gain even more >mfw >>62107256 # >>62109054 #
: Anonymous 06/17/21(Thu)00:36:53 No.62107208 >>62106370 (OP) # >rent small boat with my friends >sailing around the harbor >having lots of fun, start waving at people on other boats 932 KB GIF >wave to a small boat with about 10 Asian girls on it >one girl yells "DADDY!" at me >some of the other girls on the boat start yelling "DADDY!" at me >me and my friends laugh I had so much fun last weekend >>62110505 # : Anonymous 06/17/21(Thu)00:39:27 No.62107237 >running around the house without a shirt yesterday >feel a little bit pudgy from my 3300 kcal bulk >send my crush a shirtless mirror 67 KB JPG snapchat, asking if i should cut a bit >she replies that i am f------ sexy and that i should gain even more >mfw >>62107256 # >>62109054 #

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Its easy, really. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/09/21 (Fri)21:46:01 No.858695566 >be me >unfortunate misunderstanding >crisis narrowly avoided >(emotion)(filetype) >(insert slurs) I think I'm getting the hang of posting greentexts 11 KB JPG
: Anonymous 07/09/21 (Fri)21:46:01 No.858695566 >be me >unfortunate misunderstanding >crisis narrowly avoided >(emotion)(filetype) >(insert slurs) I think I'm getting the hang of posting greentexts 11 KB JPG

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anon is a plague doctor | /r/Greentext

File : 1297895590 jpg-(74 KB, 500x375, plaguedoktor.jpg) O Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)17:33 No.86997261 >Dress up as plague doctor. >Walk down the street to McDonalds. >Walk in and walk to the counter. >Hot blond girl turns around and screams. >Put on my deep voice. >"Do not fear me child!" >Bend down then leap onto the counter. >Knocking down the register and charity jar. >Raise my hands in the air >"PURRRRIFFFFYYYYYYYYY!" >Manager storms from behind some machines with a p----- off look. >Do a MJ spin and kick some fat kids McFlurry to the ground. >"You are fat. You do not need this." >Tip my hat at the manager and jump off the counter. >Run for door and see this bitch/hot girl. >From senior year of high school. >She is eating some fries and stops and stares at me with a open mouth. >Sprint to her. >Grab bag full of fries and slap her with them. >Manager screams as he grabs me. >Spin and slap him across the face. >"Unhand me. Male of brown skin" >Run out of store after I sparta kicked the door. >Run home and walked back with out my costume. >See the sign with the no dogs stuff. >Picutre of a plague doctor with the cross out thing on it. >LOL
File : 1297895590 jpg-(74 KB, 500x375, plaguedoktor.jpg) O Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)17:33 No.86997261 >Dress up as plague doctor. >Walk down the street to McDonalds. >Walk in and walk to the counter. >Hot blond girl turns around and screams. >Put on my deep voice. >"Do not fear me child!" >Bend down then leap onto the counter. >Knocking down the register and charity jar. >Raise my hands in the air >"PURRRRIFFFFYYYYYYYYY!" >Manager storms from behind some machines with a p----- off look. >Do a MJ spin and kick some fat kids McFlurry to the ground. >"You are fat. You do not need this." >Tip my hat at the manager and jump off the counter. >Run for door and see this bitch/hot girl. >From senior year of high school. >She is eating some fries and stops and stares at me with a open mouth. >Sprint to her. >Grab bag full of fries and slap her with them. >Manager screams as he grabs me. >Spin and slap him across the face. >"Unhand me. Male of brown skin" >Run out of store after I sparta kicked the door. >Run home and walked back with out my costume. >See the sign with the no dogs stuff. >Picutre of a plague doctor with the cross out thing on it. >LOL

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