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Anon becomes a redditor | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/05/21 (Mon)22:22:32 No.4648014 >reddit has actual real life women alright see you guys later! 51 KB JPG View Thread
: Anonymous 07/05/21 (Mon)22:22:32 No.4648014 >reddit has actual real life women alright see you guys later! 51 KB JPG View Thread

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In the morning he cried | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/06/21(Tue)13:54:57 No.64466859 >be me >sleeping >hook up with girl in my dream >people in my dream find out >she gets bullied relentlessly and kills herself 353 KB JPG >mfw
: Anonymous 07/06/21(Tue)13:54:57 No.64466859 >be me >sleeping >hook up with girl in my dream >people in my dream find out >she gets bullied relentlessly and kills herself 353 KB JPG >mfw

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Mind terrorist | /r/Greentext

File: PEPE.jpg (8 KB, 225x225) O mum learned her place Anonymous 07/04/21(Sun)21:24:24 No.64446042 [Reply] >raised by single mom >she hits me when we don't come to terms >grow up, become bigger than her >one day she hits me, and I hit her back just as hard >she's shocked guess mum won't be hitting me anymore + 18 replies and 5 images omitted. Click here to view. >> O Anonymous 07/04/21(Sun)21:53:56 No.64446313 >>64446368 >>64446286 # we are both helping eachother out. She can't afford the place on her own, my paying rent helps her. Also I do chores that she is incapable of herself, like chopping wood. On my end I don't have to pay as much rent as I otherwise would for, say, a 1bdr apt. I don't think there will be any further violence, anyway. She now knows that I am more than capable of defending myself against domestic terrorism, so it would be useless for her to persist. I'm only going to get bigger, she will only become more feeble, there is no strategy for victory for her.
File: PEPE.jpg (8 KB, 225x225) O mum learned her place Anonymous 07/04/21(Sun)21:24:24 No.64446042 [Reply] >raised by single mom >she hits me when we don't come to terms >grow up, become bigger than her >one day she hits me, and I hit her back just as hard >she's shocked guess mum won't be hitting me anymore + 18 replies and 5 images omitted. Click here to view. >> O Anonymous 07/04/21(Sun)21:53:56 No.64446313 >>64446368 >>64446286 # we are both helping eachother out. She can't afford the place on her own, my paying rent helps her. Also I do chores that she is incapable of herself, like chopping wood. On my end I don't have to pay as much rent as I otherwise would for, say, a 1bdr apt. I don't think there will be any further violence, anyway. She now knows that I am more than capable of defending myself against domestic terrorism, so it would be useless for her to persist. I'm only going to get bigger, she will only become more feeble, there is no strategy for victory for her.

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Anon’s mom is misinformed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/06/21(Tue)19:36:19 No.858505854 >talking to my mom about the deep web and how cool the history of the internet is >mention 4chan while I'm talking >"isn't that the place full of 19 KB JPG criminals and hackers?!" >"the internet is detrimental and there's nothing useful about it anon" >goes back to reading buzzfeed articles Why has the media misinformed so many boomers about this?
: Anonymous 07/06/21(Tue)19:36:19 No.858505854 >talking to my mom about the deep web and how cool the history of the internet is >mention 4chan while I'm talking >"isn't that the place full of 19 KB JPG criminals and hackers?!" >"the internet is detrimental and there's nothing useful about it anon" >goes back to reading buzzfeed articles Why has the media misinformed so many boomers about this?

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Very useful advice | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/06/21(Tue)18:58:16 No.858512914 >roommate asks me to drive him to his dealer >sure, I have nothing going on >get in, start the car, put on seatbelt >notice roommate doesn't have his 8 KB JPG seatbelt on >ask him to put it on >"Why? Aren't you a good driver?" >tell him it's my car andI want him to have his seatbelt on >"lol f--- you man just drive" >okay >get on the road, accelerate to 40mph >slam on the brakes >roommate flies out of his seat, his face hits the windshield >oh s---, sorry bro. Maybe you should put your f------ seatbelt on >he does >I turn the car around and drive us back home F------ f----- can walk to his dealer's now. Wear your seatbelts.
: Anonymous 07/06/21(Tue)18:58:16 No.858512914 >roommate asks me to drive him to his dealer >sure, I have nothing going on >get in, start the car, put on seatbelt >notice roommate doesn't have his 8 KB JPG seatbelt on >ask him to put it on >"Why? Aren't you a good driver?" >tell him it's my car andI want him to have his seatbelt on >"lol f--- you man just drive" >okay >get on the road, accelerate to 40mph >slam on the brakes >roommate flies out of his seat, his face hits the windshield >oh s---, sorry bro. Maybe you should put your f------ seatbelt on >he does >I turn the car around and drive us back home F------ f----- can walk to his dealer's now. Wear your seatbelts.

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Anon learns that he's gay | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/05/21(Mon)18:18:25 No.64456672 >born with long very girly legs >wax them for the lols >run my hands up and down my super smooth skin >smack them and watch the thigh chub jiggle >think about guys rubbing their cocks against them Uh oh I think I'm gay
: Anonymous 07/05/21(Mon)18:18:25 No.64456672 >born with long very girly legs >wax them for the lols >run my hands up and down my super smooth skin >smack them and watch the thigh chub jiggle >think about guys rubbing their cocks against them Uh oh I think I'm gay

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Yellow rose of Texas | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/02/21(Fri)22:31:40 No.64416048 Can we get a good memories thread? >oldfag in texas >friends with punks/metalheads, gamers, outcasts, and "kickers" (rednecks) >short, brown vietnamese immigrant just moved to USA >he calls himself "Wayne" >he wears Wrangler jeans, button-up longsleeve shirts tucked in, belt buckle on his leather belt, cowboy hat, drives a chevy, and of course the brown cowboy boots 104 KB PNG >this dude is f-----' awesome >heavy vietnamese accent >quickly makes friends with all the kicker dudes >his accent is so thick, but he's just like them >"hell yeah brother" >is in the agriculture classes and auto shop and all that >the kickers just accept him >they call him john wayne >he shows up to parties and drinks lone star with us hope that dude is doin good
: Anonymous 07/02/21(Fri)22:31:40 No.64416048 Can we get a good memories thread? >oldfag in texas >friends with punks/metalheads, gamers, outcasts, and "kickers" (rednecks) >short, brown vietnamese immigrant just moved to USA >he calls himself "Wayne" >he wears Wrangler jeans, button-up longsleeve shirts tucked in, belt buckle on his leather belt, cowboy hat, drives a chevy, and of course the brown cowboy boots 104 KB PNG >this dude is f-----' awesome >heavy vietnamese accent >quickly makes friends with all the kicker dudes >his accent is so thick, but he's just like them >"hell yeah brother" >is in the agriculture classes and auto shop and all that >the kickers just accept him >they call him john wayne >he shows up to parties and drinks lone star with us hope that dude is doin good

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anon reaps what he sows | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/04/21(Sun)08:25:34 No.64436821 >add an old friend of mine on Discord >the last few times we spoke, I was really angry at him over nothing (I'm BPD) and was incredibly inflammatory to him >he accepts the friend request 254 KB JPG >Me: hey >Him: Hey. Don't know what you want, but just know that if you're a d--- again, I'll remove you right away. You ended the friendship so I don't owe you anything anymore. >Me: wah, how scary, what a tough guy you are >I tried sending him another message after that, but l'd already been blocked w--?
: Anonymous 07/04/21(Sun)08:25:34 No.64436821 >add an old friend of mine on Discord >the last few times we spoke, I was really angry at him over nothing (I'm BPD) and was incredibly inflammatory to him >he accepts the friend request 254 KB JPG >Me: hey >Him: Hey. Don't know what you want, but just know that if you're a d--- again, I'll remove you right away. You ended the friendship so I don't owe you anything anymore. >Me: wah, how scary, what a tough guy you are >I tried sending him another message after that, but l'd already been blocked w--?

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Anon remembered | /r/Greentext

132512353126819235. jpg (5 KB, 206x245) Anonymous 07/06/21(Tue)17:29:02 No.858478688 >remember >children=exist >day=ruined
132512353126819235. jpg (5 KB, 206x245) Anonymous 07/06/21(Tue)17:29:02 No.858478688 >remember >children=exist >day=ruined

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Anon takes x-change | /r/Greentext

11:46 >>]3750257 >Be neckbeard >Can't get with the m'ladies >Go on 4chan and make threads about how women are w----- >Btard tells me to take an xchange so I can get laid and "stop being a tard" >Buy pill of Amazon >lt arrives >Get ready to be a hot Stacy >"It's roasty time" i mumble through Cheeto stained teeth >Take pill >Pill starts to work >My breasts...stay the same size >My penis disappears in record time >My beard disappears >"It's working!" I shout >After transformation completes I throw on my duster and fedora >Run out to meet the soon to be adoring men >Get winded after 10 steps >Transforming must've taken a lot out of me > Slowly make my way to bar >Throw open door >Hit on first guy I see >Not interested >Heh, can't handle my curves >Same with next 5 >19 rejections later I head home >Struggle up stairs >Make it to PC >Make Tumblr account >Complain that men are pigs that just want hot thin bitches >One user suggests I take an x-change
11:46 >>]3750257 >Be neckbeard >Can't get with the m'ladies >Go on 4chan and make threads about how women are w----- >Btard tells me to take an xchange so I can get laid and "stop being a tard" >Buy pill of Amazon >lt arrives >Get ready to be a hot Stacy >"It's roasty time" i mumble through Cheeto stained teeth >Take pill >Pill starts to work >My breasts...stay the same size >My penis disappears in record time >My beard disappears >"It's working!" I shout >After transformation completes I throw on my duster and fedora >Run out to meet the soon to be adoring men >Get winded after 10 steps >Transforming must've taken a lot out of me > Slowly make my way to bar >Throw open door >Hit on first guy I see >Not interested >Heh, can't handle my curves >Same with next 5 >19 rejections later I head home >Struggle up stairs >Make it to PC >Make Tumblr account >Complain that men are pigs that just want hot thin bitches >One user suggests I take an x-change

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Anon has a realization | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/06/21(Tue)12:36:40 No.858489462 >be me >work at a pizza place >delivery driver basically I'm spider man 60 KB PNG
: Anonymous 07/06/21(Tue)12:36:40 No.858489462 >be me >work at a pizza place >delivery driver basically I'm spider man 60 KB PNG

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Anon gets interrupted | /r/Greentext

File: e61.png (6 KB, 165x115) Anonymous 07/06/21(Tue)14:06:10 No.64462417 A >>64462527 >>64462573 >be me >party, making out with a girl >it's getting intense >suddenly her autistic drunk friend comes >holding an empty plastic bottle in her hand >huh.jpeg >she starts hitting her with the bottle screaming "go to horny jail" >killed the mood >mfw Why does this always happen to me?
File: e61.png (6 KB, 165x115) Anonymous 07/06/21(Tue)14:06:10 No.64462417 A >>64462527 >>64462573 >be me >party, making out with a girl >it's getting intense >suddenly her autistic drunk friend comes >holding an empty plastic bottle in her hand >huh.jpeg >she starts hitting her with the bottle screaming "go to horny jail" >killed the mood >mfw Why does this always happen to me?

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Meditation on life | /r/Greentext


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Anon is Australian | /r/Greentext

>be today >be Australian >Woke up sick >Call work to let them know I can't come in >"Yeahnoworries.mate" 9 KB PNG >contact local GP >Appointment free and same day because subsidised social healthcare >Paid sick leave because strong labour movement that guarantees working rights >Now nobody at work will catch my cold. >Food for customers not contaminated by my cold. >Company doesn't lose money because my sick leave is government subsidised >All bills continue to be paid on time, my day is stress-free because I have time to relax and recover. Today is yet another day l'm glad I'm not an American.
>be today >be Australian >Woke up sick >Call work to let them know I can't come in >"Yeahnoworries.mate" 9 KB PNG >contact local GP >Appointment free and same day because subsidised social healthcare >Paid sick leave because strong labour movement that guarantees working rights >Now nobody at work will catch my cold. >Food for customers not contaminated by my cold. >Company doesn't lose money because my sick leave is government subsidised >All bills continue to be paid on time, my day is stress-free because I have time to relax and recover. Today is yet another day l'm glad I'm not an American.

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Water is the essence of wetness | /r/Greentext


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Anon has eye strain | /r/Greentext

>21 years old >starting to slowly lose my eye vision because i keep sitting in a dark room for almost 3 years now with the only source of light being my monitor this f------ sucks 3h (7/6 6:47) ·64459586 1 Reply >>64459554 (OP) What? You know that's a myth right? You don't lose your vision from being in the dark. 3h (7/6 6:51) · 64459612 1 Reply >>64459586 If the only light source is a computer, it's bad Too much contrast between the computer and surrounding area forces your eye to constantly adjust to the level of light in the room as your eye shifts from the computer screen to the dark room.
>21 years old >starting to slowly lose my eye vision because i keep sitting in a dark room for almost 3 years now with the only source of light being my monitor this f------ sucks 3h (7/6 6:47) ·64459586 1 Reply >>64459554 (OP) What? You know that's a myth right? You don't lose your vision from being in the dark. 3h (7/6 6:51) · 64459612 1 Reply >>64459586 If the only light source is a computer, it's bad Too much contrast between the computer and surrounding area forces your eye to constantly adjust to the level of light in the room as your eye shifts from the computer screen to the dark room.

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Everything in its right place | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/06/21(Tue)07:52:14 No.858479442 *autistic screeching* ITT we post the highest levels of autism ever seen on 4chan. Bonus points for personal experience or a full blown thread. I'll start: >be me, 15 at the time 36 KB JPG >find a s----ton of baseball cards in my attic from varying years >take them to my room, and sit on the floor >no carpet in the basement, only a cold stone floor >organize all 12,396 of them in alphabetical order by last name of the player featured on the card, and if there were duplicates, in order from earliest to latest edition. >doesn't seem right >decide to reorder all of them in order from earliest year cards to latest, then by the companies that produced the cards, then by alphabetical order >still doesn't seem right >go by height of players from shortest to tallest >nope.avi >6 hours wasted, then figure out a perfect order >by serial number of the cards themselves >PERFECTION
: Anonymous 07/06/21(Tue)07:52:14 No.858479442 *autistic screeching* ITT we post the highest levels of autism ever seen on 4chan. Bonus points for personal experience or a full blown thread. I'll start: >be me, 15 at the time 36 KB JPG >find a s----ton of baseball cards in my attic from varying years >take them to my room, and sit on the floor >no carpet in the basement, only a cold stone floor >organize all 12,396 of them in alphabetical order by last name of the player featured on the card, and if there were duplicates, in order from earliest to latest edition. >doesn't seem right >decide to reorder all of them in order from earliest year cards to latest, then by the companies that produced the cards, then by alphabetical order >still doesn't seem right >go by height of players from shortest to tallest >nope.avi >6 hours wasted, then figure out a perfect order >by serial number of the cards themselves >PERFECTION

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Anon developed a new fetish | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/06/21(Tue)15:40:29 No.64462622 >hiking with friends >tomboy friend asks me to tag along with her while friends chill at bonfire >she proceeds to pull down her shorts and starts pissing while maintaining conversation with me 114 KB PNG
: Anonymous 07/06/21(Tue)15:40:29 No.64462622 >hiking with friends >tomboy friend asks me to tag along with her while friends chill at bonfire >she proceeds to pull down her shorts and starts pissing while maintaining conversation with me 114 KB PNG

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Anon goes to a hockey game | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/06/21(Tue)07:15:29 No.858472207 I got cancelled IRL >be 37 year old loser no job no life rot in moms house >hate the n---- >saw local fb page for a youth hockey team >there is one n----- on the team and these are I think 15 year olds 68 KB JPG >go to hockey game and start walking around the outside of the rink yelling "die n-----" "f--- you n-----" etc >get caught and kicked out >literally one person knew me there and outted me >can't sleep was threatened and followed home by a couple f----- hockey dads >stuck inside again I thought it would be the start of me getting out of the house and starting to live a little >f--- woke culture 6 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 07/06/21(Tue)07:15:29 No.858472207 I got cancelled IRL >be 37 year old loser no job no life rot in moms house >hate the n---- >saw local fb page for a youth hockey team >there is one n----- on the team and these are I think 15 year olds 68 KB JPG >go to hockey game and start walking around the outside of the rink yelling "die n-----" "f--- you n-----" etc >get caught and kicked out >literally one person knew me there and outted me >can't sleep was threatened and followed home by a couple f----- hockey dads >stuck inside again I thought it would be the start of me getting out of the house and starting to live a little >f--- woke culture 6 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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anon lives in the best country | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/04/21(Sun)21:48:57 No.858354928 >be me, american >taking night classes at the local high school so i can get a phd and earn $15 an hour >school shooter enters classroom the third time this week 59 KB JPG >shoots me, i go unconscious >wake up in hospital, apparently my thirteen inches of chest fat stopped the bullet from hitting my heart >sell house, car and dog to pay hospital debt >finish treatment after a week >get shot by cop and die
: Anonymous 07/04/21(Sun)21:48:57 No.858354928 >be me, american >taking night classes at the local high school so i can get a phd and earn $15 an hour >school shooter enters classroom the third time this week 59 KB JPG >shoots me, i go unconscious >wake up in hospital, apparently my thirteen inches of chest fat stopped the bullet from hitting my heart >sell house, car and dog to pay hospital debt >finish treatment after a week >get shot by cop and die

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