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Anon visits France | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 52818309 4 min. ago .. >visit france >they use "le" unironically 416.0 kB PNG
Anonymous | 52818309 4 min. ago .. >visit france >they use "le" unironically 416.0 kB PNG

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Anon goes to japan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/07/21(Wed)15:42:39 No.64473284 >go to japan >girl at a bar bought me a(n expensive) drink >asked to see my passport >took a pic of it >said she was going to the bathroom and never came back 141 KB PNG >see same girl at another bar >she pretended not to know me >tell her i recognize her tattoo >she suddenly doesn't speak english anymore >bartender tells me to leave This was 3 years ago. What's going to happen to me?
: Anonymous 07/07/21(Wed)15:42:39 No.64473284 >go to japan >girl at a bar bought me a(n expensive) drink >asked to see my passport >took a pic of it >said she was going to the bathroom and never came back 141 KB PNG >see same girl at another bar >she pretended not to know me >tell her i recognize her tattoo >she suddenly doesn't speak english anymore >bartender tells me to leave This was 3 years ago. What's going to happen to me?

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Canada saves lives | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: VIBryUs ) [•] Prenup 07/07/21(Wed)11:37:38 No.329063944 >Be me 20 year old retard >Marry w---- bitch I thought was my soul mate >I read about prenups and decided to get one >Made her sign a prenup waiving her right to alimony and other things with us both having a trd Tropeive PRENUPTIAL AGREEMENT Beknown that ustiand and Respective Rights & Relevant Exceptions wided, Prospective Hunband and Prospective 106 KB JPG lawyer present >Fast forward 2 years she cheats on me and divorces me >Tries to spin a yarn about how I was abusive and other b------- >She gets nothing because of the prenup >l think about it and realize I probably would have been divorce r---- and had my life ruined if not for the prenup Always get a prenup it could save your life
: Anonymous (ID: VIBryUs ) [•] Prenup 07/07/21(Wed)11:37:38 No.329063944 >Be me 20 year old retard >Marry w---- bitch I thought was my soul mate >I read about prenups and decided to get one >Made her sign a prenup waiving her right to alimony and other things with us both having a trd Tropeive PRENUPTIAL AGREEMENT Beknown that ustiand and Respective Rights & Relevant Exceptions wided, Prospective Hunband and Prospective 106 KB JPG lawyer present >Fast forward 2 years she cheats on me and divorces me >Tries to spin a yarn about how I was abusive and other b------- >She gets nothing because of the prenup >l think about it and realize I probably would have been divorce r---- and had my life ruined if not for the prenup Always get a prenup it could save your life

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Anon has a work shit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/07/21(Wed)00:40:26 No.858521814 >be me >taking a s--- at work >usually the first one there, so don't have to worry about my fecal insecurities >blowing up the toilet with the nastiest, most liquidy s--- the world 9 KB JPG has ever seen >finish and leave >work as normal >a few odd stares and people avoiding me, think nothing of it >go home >get out of my clothes and put on some shorts to relax but I >that's when I see it, and everything suddenly makes sense >there's a huge yellow-brown streak going down the ass of my pants >a little bit of the back of my shirt as well >I was walking around covered in s--- and f------ nobody felt the need to tell me >can never look my coworkers in the eyes again
: Anonymous 07/07/21(Wed)00:40:26 No.858521814 >be me >taking a s--- at work >usually the first one there, so don't have to worry about my fecal insecurities >blowing up the toilet with the nastiest, most liquidy s--- the world 9 KB JPG has ever seen >finish and leave >work as normal >a few odd stares and people avoiding me, think nothing of it >go home >get out of my clothes and put on some shorts to relax but I >that's when I see it, and everything suddenly makes sense >there's a huge yellow-brown streak going down the ass of my pants >a little bit of the back of my shirt as well >I was walking around covered in s--- and f------ nobody felt the need to tell me >can never look my coworkers in the eyes again

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Anon is a loser | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/21/20(Tue)21:13:24 No.56 >be indian >get my designated wife by 25 despite being a loser 124 KB PNG
Anonymous 01/21/20(Tue)21:13:24 No.56 >be indian >get my designated wife by 25 despite being a loser 124 KB PNG

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Anon made it | /r/Greentext

: 142618CE-A426-4717-932D-7(...).jpg (28 KB, 446x399) O Anonymous (ID: 2YYJ-bp ) 07/06/21(Tue)20:09:05 No.38584577 >finally make it with DeFi this year >finally meet a nice girl >she eventually becomes my gf >get to the point of sex after 9 dates >her t--- are uneven >about to take her from behind >her a------ is really really brown >massive roastflaps >smells bad >cant get hard I excused myself and I'm hiding in the bathroom now what do I do?
: 142618CE-A426-4717-932D-7(...).jpg (28 KB, 446x399) O Anonymous (ID: 2YYJ-bp ) 07/06/21(Tue)20:09:05 No.38584577 >finally make it with DeFi this year >finally meet a nice girl >she eventually becomes my gf >get to the point of sex after 9 dates >her t--- are uneven >about to take her from behind >her a------ is really really brown >massive roastflaps >smells bad >cant get hard I excused myself and I'm hiding in the bathroom now what do I do?

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Anon has a good father | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/06/21(Tue)23:14:34 No.24328530 >>24328536 >>24324528 (OP) >be bank fishing with my dad >its fathers day >fishing at this new spot hes excited about >some guy in a brand new flashy boat pulls up to use forcing us to pull our lines in >40 ft away >20 ft away >15 ft away >"hey a------, yeah im talking to you" >dad stares in confusion >"what a p------------ father you must be, do you know your fishing next to a hatchery?" >"no I didnt" - dad >"hey kids, dont grow up to be like your dumbass father" >boat peels away >dad just stares >"okay kids lets move to another spot" >walk back to the parking lot >only two vehicles in the parking lot. ours and new truck with a boat trailer >"get in the car and wait" >watching him through the mirrors >he walks over to the truck/trailer >crouches behind the truck >truck sinks down a few inches in the front >he moves to the back >truck sinks down a few inches >proceeds to pop every single tire on the truck >calmly walks towards the river >comes back with a rock >smashes the drivers window >walks back to our car where Im waiting >"im sorry you had to see that" >"but nobody calls me a bad father" >"lets go fish somewhere else"
Anonymous 07/06/21(Tue)23:14:34 No.24328530 >>24328536 >>24324528 (OP) >be bank fishing with my dad >its fathers day >fishing at this new spot hes excited about >some guy in a brand new flashy boat pulls up to use forcing us to pull our lines in >40 ft away >20 ft away >15 ft away >"hey a------, yeah im talking to you" >dad stares in confusion >"what a p------------ father you must be, do you know your fishing next to a hatchery?" >"no I didnt" - dad >"hey kids, dont grow up to be like your dumbass father" >boat peels away >dad just stares >"okay kids lets move to another spot" >walk back to the parking lot >only two vehicles in the parking lot. ours and new truck with a boat trailer >"get in the car and wait" >watching him through the mirrors >he walks over to the truck/trailer >crouches behind the truck >truck sinks down a few inches in the front >he moves to the back >truck sinks down a few inches >proceeds to pop every single tire on the truck >calmly walks towards the river >comes back with a rock >smashes the drivers window >walks back to our car where Im waiting >"im sorry you had to see that" >"but nobody calls me a bad father" >"lets go fish somewhere else"

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Cream with the crop | /r/Greentext

: Couch !ncKvmqq0Bs 07/06/21(Tue)13:12:13 No.64466409 I'm a simple girl to please. It doesn't take much. But sometimes people do things that make me mad. 606 KB JPG >enjoying day >decide to go get a pudding from the fridge >open fridge and I see it >an empty pudding cardboard holder thingy >text dummy and see if he ate my pudding >"Ohh yeah I ate that last night." >.... >get in car and go to store >go to pudding spot >.... >no pudding only jello to include the boxes >puddingfamine >text him saying he's a dummy for eating my last one and he knows those are mine >he tells me I can have some of his jerky >....... >tell him he knows I hate jerky >he taunts me more about how good it was >get irritated and decide to just ignore the dummy for a bit >get a slice of cake from the bakery and go home I'm kinda over it but I'm still gonna ignore him until he gets home as punishment. I'll give him a hug then.
: Couch !ncKvmqq0Bs 07/06/21(Tue)13:12:13 No.64466409 I'm a simple girl to please. It doesn't take much. But sometimes people do things that make me mad. 606 KB JPG >enjoying day >decide to go get a pudding from the fridge >open fridge and I see it >an empty pudding cardboard holder thingy >text dummy and see if he ate my pudding >"Ohh yeah I ate that last night." >.... >get in car and go to store >go to pudding spot >.... >no pudding only jello to include the boxes >puddingfamine >text him saying he's a dummy for eating my last one and he knows those are mine >he tells me I can have some of his jerky >....... >tell him he knows I hate jerky >he taunts me more about how good it was >get irritated and decide to just ignore the dummy for a bit >get a slice of cake from the bakery and go home I'm kinda over it but I'm still gonna ignore him until he gets home as punishment. I'll give him a hug then.

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Anon meets a gaymer | /r/Greentext

Now that pride is over. What was your favourite experience bullying a gay? >playing WZ with friends >buddy invited his friend to play >warns us he is sus so don't use slurs >friend enters chat 10/10 flamer. 10 KB JPG Including accent. >weeks go by no slurs are used. Treated with respect as per squadron law. >always dropping bitchy comments >he is s--- at the game. >ffw a couple weeks. >bout to come first in a match >get winning kill >gamerfag says "wow, I guess being autistic isn't a disability" > a monster fuelled rage boils in my blood > scream I maybe autistic but at least l'm not a f-----. >gaymer f-- never returns > pic related.
Now that pride is over. What was your favourite experience bullying a gay? >playing WZ with friends >buddy invited his friend to play >warns us he is sus so don't use slurs >friend enters chat 10/10 flamer. 10 KB JPG Including accent. >weeks go by no slurs are used. Treated with respect as per squadron law. >always dropping bitchy comments >he is s--- at the game. >ffw a couple weeks. >bout to come first in a match >get winning kill >gamerfag says "wow, I guess being autistic isn't a disability" > a monster fuelled rage boils in my blood > scream I maybe autistic but at least l'm not a f-----. >gaymer f-- never returns > pic related.

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Anon becomes a redditor | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/05/21 (Mon)22:22:32 No.4648014 >reddit has actual real life women alright see you guys later! 51 KB JPG View Thread
: Anonymous 07/05/21 (Mon)22:22:32 No.4648014 >reddit has actual real life women alright see you guys later! 51 KB JPG View Thread

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In the morning he cried | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/06/21(Tue)13:54:57 No.64466859 >be me >sleeping >hook up with girl in my dream >people in my dream find out >she gets bullied relentlessly and kills herself 353 KB JPG >mfw
: Anonymous 07/06/21(Tue)13:54:57 No.64466859 >be me >sleeping >hook up with girl in my dream >people in my dream find out >she gets bullied relentlessly and kills herself 353 KB JPG >mfw

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Mind terrorist | /r/Greentext

File: PEPE.jpg (8 KB, 225x225) O mum learned her place Anonymous 07/04/21(Sun)21:24:24 No.64446042 [Reply] >raised by single mom >she hits me when we don't come to terms >grow up, become bigger than her >one day she hits me, and I hit her back just as hard >she's shocked guess mum won't be hitting me anymore + 18 replies and 5 images omitted. Click here to view. >> O Anonymous 07/04/21(Sun)21:53:56 No.64446313 >>64446368 >>64446286 # we are both helping eachother out. She can't afford the place on her own, my paying rent helps her. Also I do chores that she is incapable of herself, like chopping wood. On my end I don't have to pay as much rent as I otherwise would for, say, a 1bdr apt. I don't think there will be any further violence, anyway. She now knows that I am more than capable of defending myself against domestic terrorism, so it would be useless for her to persist. I'm only going to get bigger, she will only become more feeble, there is no strategy for victory for her.
File: PEPE.jpg (8 KB, 225x225) O mum learned her place Anonymous 07/04/21(Sun)21:24:24 No.64446042 [Reply] >raised by single mom >she hits me when we don't come to terms >grow up, become bigger than her >one day she hits me, and I hit her back just as hard >she's shocked guess mum won't be hitting me anymore + 18 replies and 5 images omitted. Click here to view. >> O Anonymous 07/04/21(Sun)21:53:56 No.64446313 >>64446368 >>64446286 # we are both helping eachother out. She can't afford the place on her own, my paying rent helps her. Also I do chores that she is incapable of herself, like chopping wood. On my end I don't have to pay as much rent as I otherwise would for, say, a 1bdr apt. I don't think there will be any further violence, anyway. She now knows that I am more than capable of defending myself against domestic terrorism, so it would be useless for her to persist. I'm only going to get bigger, she will only become more feeble, there is no strategy for victory for her.

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Anon’s mom is misinformed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/06/21(Tue)19:36:19 No.858505854 >talking to my mom about the deep web and how cool the history of the internet is >mention 4chan while I'm talking >"isn't that the place full of 19 KB JPG criminals and hackers?!" >"the internet is detrimental and there's nothing useful about it anon" >goes back to reading buzzfeed articles Why has the media misinformed so many boomers about this?
: Anonymous 07/06/21(Tue)19:36:19 No.858505854 >talking to my mom about the deep web and how cool the history of the internet is >mention 4chan while I'm talking >"isn't that the place full of 19 KB JPG criminals and hackers?!" >"the internet is detrimental and there's nothing useful about it anon" >goes back to reading buzzfeed articles Why has the media misinformed so many boomers about this?

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Very useful advice | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/06/21(Tue)18:58:16 No.858512914 >roommate asks me to drive him to his dealer >sure, I have nothing going on >get in, start the car, put on seatbelt >notice roommate doesn't have his 8 KB JPG seatbelt on >ask him to put it on >"Why? Aren't you a good driver?" >tell him it's my car andI want him to have his seatbelt on >"lol f--- you man just drive" >okay >get on the road, accelerate to 40mph >slam on the brakes >roommate flies out of his seat, his face hits the windshield >oh s---, sorry bro. Maybe you should put your f------ seatbelt on >he does >I turn the car around and drive us back home F------ f----- can walk to his dealer's now. Wear your seatbelts.
: Anonymous 07/06/21(Tue)18:58:16 No.858512914 >roommate asks me to drive him to his dealer >sure, I have nothing going on >get in, start the car, put on seatbelt >notice roommate doesn't have his 8 KB JPG seatbelt on >ask him to put it on >"Why? Aren't you a good driver?" >tell him it's my car andI want him to have his seatbelt on >"lol f--- you man just drive" >okay >get on the road, accelerate to 40mph >slam on the brakes >roommate flies out of his seat, his face hits the windshield >oh s---, sorry bro. Maybe you should put your f------ seatbelt on >he does >I turn the car around and drive us back home F------ f----- can walk to his dealer's now. Wear your seatbelts.

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Anon learns that he's gay | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/05/21(Mon)18:18:25 No.64456672 >born with long very girly legs >wax them for the lols >run my hands up and down my super smooth skin >smack them and watch the thigh chub jiggle >think about guys rubbing their cocks against them Uh oh I think I'm gay
: Anonymous 07/05/21(Mon)18:18:25 No.64456672 >born with long very girly legs >wax them for the lols >run my hands up and down my super smooth skin >smack them and watch the thigh chub jiggle >think about guys rubbing their cocks against them Uh oh I think I'm gay

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Yellow rose of Texas | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/02/21(Fri)22:31:40 No.64416048 Can we get a good memories thread? >oldfag in texas >friends with punks/metalheads, gamers, outcasts, and "kickers" (rednecks) >short, brown vietnamese immigrant just moved to USA >he calls himself "Wayne" >he wears Wrangler jeans, button-up longsleeve shirts tucked in, belt buckle on his leather belt, cowboy hat, drives a chevy, and of course the brown cowboy boots 104 KB PNG >this dude is f-----' awesome >heavy vietnamese accent >quickly makes friends with all the kicker dudes >his accent is so thick, but he's just like them >"hell yeah brother" >is in the agriculture classes and auto shop and all that >the kickers just accept him >they call him john wayne >he shows up to parties and drinks lone star with us hope that dude is doin good
: Anonymous 07/02/21(Fri)22:31:40 No.64416048 Can we get a good memories thread? >oldfag in texas >friends with punks/metalheads, gamers, outcasts, and "kickers" (rednecks) >short, brown vietnamese immigrant just moved to USA >he calls himself "Wayne" >he wears Wrangler jeans, button-up longsleeve shirts tucked in, belt buckle on his leather belt, cowboy hat, drives a chevy, and of course the brown cowboy boots 104 KB PNG >this dude is f-----' awesome >heavy vietnamese accent >quickly makes friends with all the kicker dudes >his accent is so thick, but he's just like them >"hell yeah brother" >is in the agriculture classes and auto shop and all that >the kickers just accept him >they call him john wayne >he shows up to parties and drinks lone star with us hope that dude is doin good

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anon reaps what he sows | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/04/21(Sun)08:25:34 No.64436821 >add an old friend of mine on Discord >the last few times we spoke, I was really angry at him over nothing (I'm BPD) and was incredibly inflammatory to him >he accepts the friend request 254 KB JPG >Me: hey >Him: Hey. Don't know what you want, but just know that if you're a d--- again, I'll remove you right away. You ended the friendship so I don't owe you anything anymore. >Me: wah, how scary, what a tough guy you are >I tried sending him another message after that, but l'd already been blocked w--?
: Anonymous 07/04/21(Sun)08:25:34 No.64436821 >add an old friend of mine on Discord >the last few times we spoke, I was really angry at him over nothing (I'm BPD) and was incredibly inflammatory to him >he accepts the friend request 254 KB JPG >Me: hey >Him: Hey. Don't know what you want, but just know that if you're a d--- again, I'll remove you right away. You ended the friendship so I don't owe you anything anymore. >Me: wah, how scary, what a tough guy you are >I tried sending him another message after that, but l'd already been blocked w--?

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Anon remembered | /r/Greentext

132512353126819235. jpg (5 KB, 206x245) Anonymous 07/06/21(Tue)17:29:02 No.858478688 >remember >children=exist >day=ruined
132512353126819235. jpg (5 KB, 206x245) Anonymous 07/06/21(Tue)17:29:02 No.858478688 >remember >children=exist >day=ruined

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Anon takes x-change | /r/Greentext

11:46 >>]3750257 >Be neckbeard >Can't get with the m'ladies >Go on 4chan and make threads about how women are w----- >Btard tells me to take an xchange so I can get laid and "stop being a tard" >Buy pill of Amazon >lt arrives >Get ready to be a hot Stacy >"It's roasty time" i mumble through Cheeto stained teeth >Take pill >Pill starts to work >My breasts...stay the same size >My penis disappears in record time >My beard disappears >"It's working!" I shout >After transformation completes I throw on my duster and fedora >Run out to meet the soon to be adoring men >Get winded after 10 steps >Transforming must've taken a lot out of me > Slowly make my way to bar >Throw open door >Hit on first guy I see >Not interested >Heh, can't handle my curves >Same with next 5 >19 rejections later I head home >Struggle up stairs >Make it to PC >Make Tumblr account >Complain that men are pigs that just want hot thin bitches >One user suggests I take an x-change
11:46 >>]3750257 >Be neckbeard >Can't get with the m'ladies >Go on 4chan and make threads about how women are w----- >Btard tells me to take an xchange so I can get laid and "stop being a tard" >Buy pill of Amazon >lt arrives >Get ready to be a hot Stacy >"It's roasty time" i mumble through Cheeto stained teeth >Take pill >Pill starts to work >My breasts...stay the same size >My penis disappears in record time >My beard disappears >"It's working!" I shout >After transformation completes I throw on my duster and fedora >Run out to meet the soon to be adoring men >Get winded after 10 steps >Transforming must've taken a lot out of me > Slowly make my way to bar >Throw open door >Hit on first guy I see >Not interested >Heh, can't handle my curves >Same with next 5 >19 rejections later I head home >Struggle up stairs >Make it to PC >Make Tumblr account >Complain that men are pigs that just want hot thin bitches >One user suggests I take an x-change

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Anon has a realization | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/06/21(Tue)12:36:40 No.858489462 >be me >work at a pizza place >delivery driver basically I'm spider man 60 KB PNG
: Anonymous 07/06/21(Tue)12:36:40 No.858489462 >be me >work at a pizza place >delivery driver basically I'm spider man 60 KB PNG

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